WrestleFest 1993
Hosts: Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

It’s back to Coliseum Video and in this case we’re jumping to one of the weaker times the company has had. The good thing is that these tapes almost always have something worth seeing and there is always a hope that we could see the same thing here. There is no major theme here most of the time and that makes things more fun. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring various stars of the era and yeah this was likely put together in late 1992.

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are on a road trip for the Coliseum Video headquarters, which I believe was a story that Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes did in a previous tape. The car breaks down but worry not because Heenan knows that he can fix it. After breaking the hood ornament, they get the hood open so Heenan can look around. But now, a match!

From Madison, Wisconsin, December 15, 1992.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Nasty Boys

Money Inc., with Jimmy Hart, is defending and IRS thinks the fans like the Nasty Boys because they ALL CHEAT ON THEIR TAXES! Sidenote: how did IRS and Repo Man not get together at some point? Shouldn’t that have been an obvious pairing? The brawl starts before the bell with the champs being knocked outside as Hayes starts making money jokes.

DiBiase and Sags start things off with DiBiase working on the arm. A hiptoss sets up a missed elbow drops and it’s Knobbs coming in to stay on the arm. The Nasties take turns on said arm but IRS is a good partner who breaks up the Pit Stop. IRS comes in and gets his arm cranked on as well but a drop toehold gets him out of trouble. Knobbs….wins a mat wrestle off (I’m as shocked as you are) and it’s time to work on IRS’ arm some more.

They head out to the floor with a distraction letting IRS drive Sags into the apron. Back in and the champs start taking over, including a bearhug of all things from DiBiase. A bite get Sags out of trouble but IRS makes the save and grabs a bearhug of his own. Sags manages to send the champs into each other and it’s Knobbs coming back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the champs are knocked outside, which is enough for the two of them to walk out.

Hold on though as the referee says not so fast, because if they don’t answer the ten count, the titles change hands (that was a Money Inc. signature spot). Back in and DiBiase gets in a shot to Sags and grabs the Million Dollar Dream. That’s broken up as well and a faceplant is enough to bring Knobbs back in. Everything breaks down again and Sags drops his always bad top rope elbow onto IRS for two. Hart offers a distraction though and DiBiase’s belt shot retains the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going but they went with what was more or less a house show finish. That makes enough sense given the situation but it is still a bit more than a disappointing ending. The Nasty Boys were getting warm again at this point but I don’t know if they were hot enough to win the titles.

From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, October 12, 1992.

Crush vs. Papa Shango

This is a different one. Shango jumps him from behind to start and the beating is on fast. A running crossbody in the corner hits Crush but he manages a quick backbreaker. Crush hits a superkick to put Shango on the floor as Sean talks about Crush moving a bunch of wood in a barn. The story doesn’t have quite the impact as Shango wins a test of strength and takes him down. Hayes’ advice: cheat.

Crush doesn’t go evil and fights up for the comeback, only to miss a splash in the corner. The beating is back on until Shango misses a jumping legdrop and now the real comeback can be on. A big boot knocks Shango outside and there’s a clothesline to do it again. That’s finally enough for Shango, who grabs his skull staff and shoots fireworks into Crush’s eyes for the DQ at 6:48.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a power match and the ending didn’t make it any better. Crush was getting bigger and bigger at this point but he was still beneath Shango, so this wasn’t the worst decision. The ending didn’t make things much better though and this was a pretty lame match.

Crush looks mildly perturbed. Not hurt or anything, but annoyed.

From Hershey, Pennsylvania, September 1, 1992.

Big Boss Man vs. Rick Martel

Boss Man knocks him around to start and Martel accuses him of a hair pull. Then he does it again, with the referee, who was looking right at them, taking Martel’s word for it. With that not working, Boss Man MESSES WITH Martel’s hair, which is enough to earn him some knees in the corner. A hiptoss sends Martel outside though as this is one sided so far. Back in and Boss Man starts working on the arm before sending Martel into the corner over and over. With nothing else working, Martel grabs the atomizer, meaning Boss Man grabs the nightstick and that’s a double DQ at 6:10.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great as Boss Man more or less squashed him until the lame ending. You really can’t have Rick Martel take the Boss Man Slam in late 1992? Boss Man was on a downward trajectory at this point but he should be able to get a win here. Also, back to back DQ finishes after a cheating ending isn’t quite the hot start to a tape.

Bobby and Gene are still looking at the engine, with the sun rapidly going down.

From Dayton, Ohio, November 24, 1992.

Earthquake vs. Repo Man

Earthquake sends him into the corner for a splash as Sean talks about how this is an exclusive for WrestleFest 1993. The fact that this match is also on Smack Em Whack Em makes me think I need to reevaluate my thoughts on Sean Mooney. Earthquake charges into a shot in the corner and gets ax handled down but the beating doesn’t last long. Back up and Earthquake runs him over, setting up the Earthquake for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. Aside from my faith in Mooney being shattered, this was a pretty nothing match, with Earthquake shrugging off Repo Man’s basic offense and winning with the usual. There isn’t much that can be said for Repo Man in the ring, but he was so over the top as a character that it became memorable.

From Louisville, Kentucky, October 28, 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Virgil vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending in a match that appears on three different tapes. Shawn takes him down to start and gets in some taunting, which earns Hayes’ approval. Virgil fights back with an atomic drop into a dropkick for a fast two but a kick to the face cuts him off in a hurry. One heck of a dropkick drops Virgil again but commentary is too upset about Shawn chewing gum during a match. I mean….well yeah kind of.

Shawn grabs a chinlock for a bit, followed by a suplex to drop Virgil again. A faceplant gets Virgil out of trouble and he hits a clothesline to the back of the head. The rapid fire punches spin Shawn around for a delayed two and a middle rope clothesline gets the same. That’s a bit too much for Shawn, who grabs the Tear Drop suplex to retain at 7:07.

Rating: C. Completely watchable match as Virgil had a good comeback but wasn’t going to beat someone anywhere near as good as Shawn. That’s not a bad place to be either, as Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise at this point and few people were going to be able to give him a run for his money. Also, it’s nice to see a clean finish for a change.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, June 1, 1992.

Undertaker vs. Berzerker

Paul Bearer and Mr. Fuji are the seconds. Hayes says that Undertaker is a sex symbol in Europe for your disturbing thought of the day. Berzerker jumps him to start and gets uppercutted right into the corner. Undertaker charges into a corner though and a running dropkick sends him to the floor. Brawling outside works fine for Undertaker but he misses the running clothesline back inside.

They head right back to the floor with Undertaker being sent into various steps and then the apron (the STEEL apron according to Hayes), setting up a big chair shot. Back in and Undertaker fights back, only to miss the big elbow. Berzerker goes outside again and chokes with a cord, setting up a running bulldog back inside. Undertaker gets laid against the ropes for some right hands but manages to backdrop him over the top.

That does nothing so Berzerker is right back in for a piledriver, which Undertaker no sells. Then he hits a piledriver, which Undertaker no sells. Then he hits a piledriver, which Undertaker….actually sells, allowing Berzerker to drop a knee. Fuji hands in the sword (because there’s a sword), but Undertaker takes it away, only to have Fuji grab the leg. That doesn’t work for Undertaker, who clotheslines him down and hits the Tombstone for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match where they knew there was almost no one paying attention so they had a pretty goofy match. Undertaker popping up from the piledrivers was funny but the sword stuff was so goofy that it didn’t make much of a difference. At the same time, at least it wasn’t ANOTHER DQ finish.

Post match Fuji comes in, earning a Tombstone (the safest I’ve seen in a long time) of his own.

Heenan and Gene still don’t have any luck with the car, though they do have some extra parts.

From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, July 9, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. IRS

Well this is kind of out of nowhere. Duggan goes personal/business by stomping IRS’ briefcase before knocking IRS down. Back up and a running shoulder drops IRS again as he’s a bit shaken to start. There’s a clothesline to do it again as this is totally one sided to start. An atomic drop and an elbow to the face put IRS on the floor, where he is tossed back in but then gets thrown outside again.

IRS FINALLY gets in a shot to the face and we hit the chinlock with a foot on the rope (or maybe IRS just got caught by mistake). This goes on far longer than it needs to until Duggan fights up and rams him into the corner ten times in a row. The three point clothesline sends IRS outside again but he pulls Duggan outside for the brawl and double countout at 8:02.

Rating: D-. This tape is getting terrible in a hurry as three of the seven matches have ended in either a countout or a DQ. Again: is it that hard to have one of these two lose with a pin? It’s a stand alone Coliseum Video and after doing one of the most boring matches you could imagine, they have that ending.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992.

Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Tito Santana/High Energy

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains, despite managing AGAINST the Nasty Boys about an hour earlier. Knobbs kicks Koko into the corner to start but misses a dropkick, allowing Koko to hit a jumping elbow/hip attack. Repo and Tito come in with the latter cranking on an arm and handing it off to Owen. Sags comes in and blocks a hiptoss before Owen flips backwards and gets the hiptoss on the second try.

Knobbs low bridges Hart to the floor though and that means a BIG dive over the top, because that’s what Owen would do in this spot. Back in and the beating continues, with the villains getting to take turns this time. Repo grabs a neck crank and yells a lot before finally missing a charge. That’s enough for Santana to come back in for a dropkick and flying forearm to Sags as everything breaks down. The Nasties and Repo are sent into each other, allowing Santana to hit another flying forearm. Knobbs tries to bring in the hook and that’s enough for the DQ at 7:35.

Rating: C-. This got better in the end but I’m trying to get my head around the idea of another DQ finish. Did they really have nothing better to do with a show like this? The Nasties were about to turn face so wouldn’t a loss help them move in that direction? I can always go for a good six man, but that wasn’t quite what we got here.

From Erie, Pennsylvania, November 23, 1992.

Randy Savage vs. Terry Taylor

Note that it’s TERRIFIC Terry Taylor, not just Terry Taylor. They go with the grappling to start and Savage manages an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and they shove each other a few times, which you know won’t sit well with Savage. Taylor is sent outside but manages to punch Savage out of the air to break up the top rope ax handle. Back in and Taylor hits a backbreaker as Monsoon says youth is the only thing Taylor has going for him.

An atomic drop gives Savage two as we hear about Savage’s success in the company, which doesn’t make Monsoon sound biased at all. The sleeper is broken up rather quickly and Savage grabs a backslide for two, only to be neckbreakered back down. Something like a Vader Bomb hits raised knees though and Savage does the neck snap across the top. There’s the ax handle for two, setting up the slam and elbow to give Savage the pin at 9:44.

Rating: B-. By far the best match on the whole thing so far, which isn’t the highest bar to clear. Savage was well past his prime by this point but he was still good for a fine match against someone with Taylor’s skill. It’s amazing what happens when you have Taylor as just a guy in trunks instead of a wrestling rooster, but no one cared about someone named Terrific Terry Taylor and that was never going to change.

There’s a hamster in the car engine. That’s the big finish.

From Huntsville, Alabama, August 10, 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Kamala

Kamala, with Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee, is challenging. Commentary has no idea how Kamala is allowed to compete when he’s, you know, a savage. Bret works on the arm to start but a dropkick doesn’t actually drop him. With that not working, Bret goes back to the arm, sending Kamala to the rope (as you do in the dark jungle). Kamala wants a test of strength and Bret is way too smart for that, as he doesn’t go for it and eventually stomps on Kamala’s bare feet.

Some running shots stagger Kamala but he gets in a shot to the throat to take over. Back up and Bret charges into a bearhug before getting kicked in the face (Bret has a bad, bad history with superkicks). The chest claw goes on, then Bret fights up, then Bret gets knocked down, then the chest claw goes on again. Back up again and Bret ducks a leapfrog (ok that was cool) and grabs the Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope clothesline gets the same and the middle rope elbow connects, only to draw in Chee for the DQ (of course) at 10:04.

Rating: C. The chest claw aside, this could have been a lot worse. Bret knows how to make just about anything work and he did well enough here. Kamala was perfectly fine as a monster challenger who had no real chance and that is what we got here. Granted we also got….what, the fifth DQ on this thing? I was almost expecting it at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Kamala splashes Wippleman by mistake and gets knocked outside. Bret even steals Chee’s pith helmet.

From Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, October 13, 1992.

Razor Ramon vs. Tito Santana

Santana starts fast by hitting the flying forearm out to the floor before working on an armbar back inside. A dropkick and armdrag into an armbar have Ramon in more trouble but he manages a hot shot to take over. Some forearms to the back set up an abdominal stretch (it was a Razor signature even back then) but Santana reverses into one of his own. That’s broken up as well so Ramon tries a bearhug. Santana gets sent into the corner, where Razor’s pulls him out with the Razor’s Edge for the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C. I like both guys and it was nice to see Santana when he was still able to do a lot of good in the ring, though Ramon was on the rise and not about to lose anything for a good while. These two actually have a bit of a personal history too, as Santana came up with the Ramon name after Razor had picked Razor. If that isn’t enough to give you chemistry, nothing else can.

From New York City, New York, January 18, 1993.

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect

This is from Raw and Loser Leaves The WWF, with Flair looking very Tommy Rich. Perfect is serious here and drives him into the corner to start as Heenan is losing it early on commentary. Flair gets slapped in the face and knocked out to the floor, leaving Perfect to seem rather cocky. Back in and they fight over arm control until Perfect gets him into the corner for some chops, setting up the Flair Flop.

As Vince and Heenan argue about driving too fast and rock music, Flair takes him into the corner and hammers away, only to have Perfect punch him right back down. Flair is so frustrated that he goes outside and grabs a chair as we’re cut (via commercial, which isn’t mentioned here) to Flair sending Perfect face first into the post and out to the floor HARD. Back in and Perfect, busted open, gets caught in a chinlock for two (yes a chinlock) but Flair’s feet are caught on the ropes.

Perfect slugs back and hammers away with right hands in the corner (Heenan: “THAT’S A CLOSED FIST!!!”) until an atomic drop slows him down. A suplex gives Perfect two but Flair is right back with a sleeper. That’s broken up after two arm breaks and Perfect grabs a sleeper of his own as Heenan is panicking over the time limit. Flair breaks it up with a belly to back and the Figure Four goes on, with Flair grabbing the rope as you knew he was going to do.

The referee finally catches Flair so it’s time to kick at the leg even more. Flair goes up top and gets slammed down as we take another break. Back again with Flair loading up the foreign object and nailing Perfect, setting up an elbow drop for two, as Perfect’s foot is on the rope. Flair might want to look next time, as the foot was on the rope before Flair even covered him.

The hard right hands to the cut set up the chop in the corner, which is enough to fire Perfect up. The comeback is on with Flair getting backdropped and going up top, only to get clotheslined out of the air for two more. Flair sweeps the leg and puts his feet on the rope for some near falls. That’s broken up so Flair ducks his head, setting up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 24:11.

Rating: A-. This is a classic and the first great match in Raw history. Flair was on his way out and made Perfect look like a star, as Perfect’s 1993 run of awesome begins. You often hear about Perfect being an amazing talent and this was the time when he felt like he could possibly break through to the main event. This is absolutely worth checking out if you haven’t seen it before and dang it was a welcome end to this never ending tape.

Gene and Bobby hitchhike as the sun is coming up. A car pulls up and Gene leaves Heenan by the side of the road, as apparently this is the first car to drive by in about twelve hours.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helps it a lot, but e pluribus gads the rest of this thing (save for Savage vs. Taylor and maybe Bret vs. Kamala, there is not much else to see here. I know I harped on it a lot but MY GOODNESS what was the point of all the disqualifications? It’s a Best Of tape and you really can’t have a few more definitive pins? This was one of the weaker Coliseum Videos I can remember, but the main event does help boost things up a lot.

 

 

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Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Most of the older editions are in need of an update so we’ll knock out this one. This is one of the biggest crowds in wrestling history and they’re in for a pretty major show. We have a double main event of Randy Savage defending the WWF Title against the Ultimate Warrior and the instant classic of Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog for the Intercontinental Title. Guess what’s headlining. Let’s get to it.

Nasty Boys/Mountie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

This is a bonus dark match (at least on the American broadcast, though all three on the card aired on the European broadcasts). Jimmy Hart is in the villains’ corner. The fans get their chance to boo/cheer the various teams until the villains jump them from behind. This goes as well as you would expect and the ring is cleared in a hurry. Back in and the Nasty Boys are whipped into each other in the corner, followed by some double clotheslines for a bonus.

Sags beats on Butch for a bit before everything breaks down again. The villains finally get in a cheap shot to take over on Luke and a double boot to the ribs puts him down again. The chinlock goes on and it’s back to Mountie for more stomping. Sags grabs a reverse chinlock, which draws a USA chant as the British fans cheer for a New Zealander.

There’s a knee drop as Heenan goes over the specifics for the WWF rule book (I’d pay money to see that). Luke gets a boot up to knock Sags out of the air though and it’s the hot tag to Duggan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Mountie by mistake, allowing Duggan to get the pin at 12:34.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a case where you need to consider the spot. They weren’t going for anything important here and it wasn’t a match with any story. You had three popular wrestlers facing three villains in an easy match. The fans liked it though and that’s entirely what they were shooting for here. It would have made a fine house show opener and it worked perfectly well here.

Papa Shango vs. El Matador

Another bonus match. Shango jumps him from behind and we’re starting in a hurry. A running crossbody connects in the corner but another charge misses, allowing Matador to hit a clothesline. They head outside with Shango getting posted as Heenan thinks Matador should just give up now.

A top rope clothesline gives Matador two and there’s the flying forearm. Matador’s sleeper is broken up in a hurry and it’s time to choke in the corner. Shango drops an elbow and hits a side slam, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Another flying forearm gives Matador two but he misses a charge into the corner. The shoulder breaker finishes Matador at 6:12.

Rating: C-. Another perfectly watchable match and that’s fine for the spot they were in. Matador was always good for something like this and he could make an up and coming villain like Shango look good. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but they kept it quick and Shango didn’t quite squash him, so it worked out well enough.

Brought to you by ICO PRO. I hope they kept the receipt.

The British fans are VERY happy to have Summerslam here. This includes a kid who says that British Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Kid sounds like he has mob connections.

Bobby Heenan has a crown. My day is complete.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

Money Inc. has Jimmy Hart in their corner but the LOD comes out on their motorcycles in a pretty famous entrance. Now granted that might be because Paul Ellering is with them and he has Rocco the Dummy on the front of his bike. In one of my favorite lines ever, Vince says that the Legion of Doom are known for their psychology in the ring. The jet lag must have gotten to him. DiBiase in white trunks still feels wrong but it isn’t as evil as I remember.

Hawk threatens him to the floor to start and then clotheslines him outside again, this time for another clothesline from Animal. It’s off to Animal for a powerslam and Hawk comes back in with a top rope shot to the arm. Now the fact that Hawk looks like he’s somewhere around Saturn makes that one a little more impressive than it sounds. IRS grabs a sleeper on Hawk but it’s broken up with a drive into the corner. The top rope clothesline misses though and Hawk falls all the way out to the floor. That’s quite the flying leap.

DiBiase comes in for a few shots and it’s already back to IRS for two off an elbow. The chinlock goes on and the villains make some changes without tags (they really should be setting a better example for the foreign fans). Back up and a double clothesline puts both of them down but IRS comes in to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Hawk powers over to the corner but the referee misses the tag (that nitwit).

As tends to be the case, the hot tag goes through a few seconds later and it’s Animal coming in to clean house. It’s a bunch of shoulders and clotheslines as everything breaks down. IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device so Animal goes with a powerslam to finish DiBiase (it wouldn’t surprise me if that was due to being scared of Hawk coming off the top) at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The crowd helped but you could tell that there was something off with the LOD. That being said, it isn’t exactly surprising that Hawk stayed in England and more or less ended the team for the time being. Hawk was a time bomb for a good while and as bad as things went, it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

Ric Flair isn’t happy that he isn’t getting his rematch for the WWF Title because he should be in the ring in the bright lights of London, England. Gene wants to know where Mr. Perfect, Flair’s crony, is, especially with the rumors of Perfect being in the corner of either Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. Flair says Perfect is in the dressing room. Gene: “Whose dressing room???” Flair: “The dressing room of the winner. WOO!” I’ve always liked that one.

Virgil is ready to fight Nailz to avenge his buddy the Big Boss Man. If Virgil is your the best friend you have, getting beaten half to death with a nightstick doesn’t sound too bad.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz gets a jobber entrance for some reason. Probably protecting Virgil’s star power. Nailz takes him into the corner to start and chokes a bit until Virgil hits a dropkick. That doesn’t even put Nailz down (Heenan: “He’s tough as nails!”) and it’s time for more choking. Virgil is sent outside and rammed into the apron. Back in and the standing choke finishes Virgil at 3:19.

Rating: D. This made Summerslam? It felt like something that would be a featured match on Wrestling Challenge at best and that’s hardly the kind of thing that you need to see on one of the biggest (if not the biggest) show of the year. Nothing to see here as Nailz didn’t exactly have the longest shelf life in the world.

Post match Nailz beats Virgil up even more.

Lord Alfred Hayes can’t get into Randy Savage’s dressing room but thinks Mr. Perfect is in there. He’ll keep being annoying until he finds something out.

Sherri doesn’t like the idea of Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel fighting, even though Shawn cost Martel an Intercontinental Title shot. Sherri has been with Shawn for a good while now but has been flirting with Martel. Tonight neither of them are allowed to hit each other in the face, because they’re both too handsome you see. She’ll be standing by her man, which seems to be Shawn as he calls her to go to the ring.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

Martel is in tennis gear because it’s what models do. Sherri is with Michaels and brings out a full length mirror as Vince can’t get over the no hitting in the face thing. Vince: “This isn’t the sixth grade!” Indeed. Hitting in the face is a fourth grade thing. Vince also panics over Sherri’s outfit, which is uh, kind of incomplete in certain areas. Sherri takes some extra time disrobing Shawn because….I’m not sure really.

Feeling out process to start with Shawn trying a monkey flip, allowing Martel to cartwheel into some jumping jacks. A dropkick to the face has Sherri nervous but Martel jumps Shawn from behind. The fans seem to be behind Martel, which is rather strange to see. Martel misses a crossbody out of the corner though and the fans calm down a bit. Back up and Martel teases a right hand but stops himself and throws Shawn over the top instead. Martel takes him back inside for a backdrop and more jumping jacks but Shawn reverses an O’Connor roll for two.

After both guys pull their gear back up (with Vince and Bobby making the usual jokes), it’s Shawn getting a knee up to stop a charge in the corner. Now they trade rollups again and it’s time to get serious. They slap each other in the face, drawing Sherri to the apron for a lot of screaming….and some fainting. Shawn goes to check on her and Sherri falls out to the floor, where Martel knocks Shawn away. He gives her CPR but Shawn starts the fist fight for the double countout at 8:09, which draws Sherri back to life.

Rating: C. This was a lot different than most matches you’ll see and it worked out pretty well. It was certainly a unique way to go and given who was in there, it is hardly a surprise that they had a decent match. The Sherri stuff was interesting, though given that Shawn was supposed to headline the show, it is a bit of a downgrade.

Post match Sherri faints again so Shawn comes back to carry her away. Martel breaks that up as well, and Sherri falls down in a heap. Shawn jumps Martel again and Sherri crashes again, allowing Shawn to get her….most of the way back, until Martel finds a bucket of water and throws it on Sherri, who storms off on her own.

The Nasty Boys laugh at what happened to Sherri but are more interested in watching Savage and Warrior destroy each other. Now where is their title shot? Jimmy Hart sounds rather nervous about that question.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Brothers are challenging and have the Genius in their corner. They jump the massive champs to start and are quickly sent into each other for a quick crash. We settle down to Typhoon missing a legdrop on Blake as everything breaks down again. Earthquake splashes typhoon in the corner by mistake, but Typhoon launches Beau to the floor on a kickout. After finding out that SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY STADIUM, the Beverly Blast keeps Typhoon in trouble.

A headbutt gets two as it’s strange to see someone this big taking a longer form beating. Typhoon drives over for the tag but of course the referee doesn’t see it. How do referees not get fired more often for being so inept? Typhoon gets in a double clothesline but Beau distracts Earthquake, allowing Blake to get in a shot with the metal scroll. Since Earthquake is about 28% smarter than anyone in the match, he decks Blake before the cover, allowing the hot tag to Typhoon. A belly to belly suplex plants Beau and a double shoulder puts the Brothers down. The powerslam sets up the Earthquake to retain at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was as good as the Natural Disasters vs. the Beverly Brothers for ten minutes was going to be. The Brothers were just such worthless goofs and no one bought them as a threat to the champs. The Disasters on the other hand actually felt like a team who could destroy almost anyone and it was going to take more than a couple of goofs like these two to beat them.

The Bushwhackers don’t know anything about a dentist selling them a London Bridge, but they are going to a meal at Buckingham Palace. Royal sardines are on the menu and they might get to sit on the throne. These two are just goofy fun, even though they outlived their usefulness.

Hayes thinks Perfect is in Ultimate Warrior’s dressing room but still can’t get in.

Crush vs. Repo Man

This was when Crush was on the verge of becoming the company’s breakout star but it never quite got there. Or anywhere close for that matter. Repo jumps him from behind to start but gets gorilla pressed without much effort. A backbreaker puts Repo on the floor and then Crush adds a one handed backbreaker just to show off.

As commentary talks about the WWF Title match coming up next (and nearly apologizing for making us wait so long), Crush misses a top rope knee. A faceplant gives Repo two but the kickout puts Repo on the floor. Back in and Repo dives into a powerslam, setting up the head vice for the win at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Another fast match that feels like a way to extend the show longer than it needs to be. That’s what happens when you have a two match card, but Crush was a popular guy at this point and it makes sense to feature him on a show like this. Repo Man was always good for a job and it was a quick enough squash that it wasn’t exactly worthless.

Gene throws us to a package on Savage vs. Warrior. The match was signed with Savage summing up the issue rather well: “I’M THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION AND YOU’RE NOT!” Then Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect made it clear that they weren’t happy with Flair not being in the title match and teased that they were working with both of them. The mind games were on hard and the question was who be joining forces with Perfect and Flair here. That’s quite the intriguing question, and a good way to go for something like this.

Heenan insists that he doesn’t know who sold out but Vince doesn’t believe him.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and there is no sign of Flair and/or Perfect. Warrior always looked really weird in that singlet. They go nose to nose to start and shove each other away as the fans are WAY into this. Warrior shoves him down without much effort but Savage is back with a pair of clotheslines for one. Savage goes up top in a hurry but gets punched out of the air just as fast. A pair of delayed atomic drops have Savage in more trouble and a clothesline gets two.

Savage isn’t having that and punches him down, setting up a quickly broken sleeper. Warrior unloads with right hands in the corner and stomps Savage down, followed by another hard clothesline. A pull of the tights sends Warrior into the buckle though and a clothesline puts Warrior on the floor. The fans don’t like that one but Savage doesn’t seem to mind.

Back in and a pair of top rope ax handles to Warrior’s head gets two but the third is pulled out of the air for a backbreaker. The hard whips into the corner set up a bearhug for all of two seconds. Savage gets two off a small package and a swinging neckbreaker gives him a breather. Savage’s back gives out on a suplex attempt and even Warrior is smart enough to know what to do here.

A suplex makes the back worse and gets another two as they’re a little more spent than they should be after less than thirteen minutes. Warrior misses a clothesline and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing Savage to hit a top rope ax handle. There’s a ram into the steps and another into the post but Savage can’t hit a piledriver back inside.

Cue Perfect and Flair as NOW things are going to get interesting. Warrior hits a slam to damage the back again, but the splash hits knees. There’s the required double clothesline and they’re both down again. Savage is up first and glares down at Perfect and Flair, allowing Warrior to lift him up for some choking. The ref gets bumped (SHOCKING!) and it’s Warrior going up for his own ax handle.

That’s good for a very delayed two and Warrior is annoyed at the count. Warrior getting annoyed at things isn’t exactly surprising. Savage hits a piledriver but has to get the referee off the floor. During the delay, which takes quite a bit of time, Perfect comes in and holds Warrior for an illegal object shot from Flair. Somehow Savage doesn’t see that and hits the elbow, but the referee is STILL groggy so the two is delayed again. Sweet goodness get tougher referees.

Warrior starts shaking the ropes and Heenan knows what that means for Savage. There’s the flying shoulder but Perfect distracts the referee, allowing Flair to hit Warrior in the back with a chair. Savage gets that something is up and doesn’t want it that way so he kicks at Perfect. He goes up anyway and then dives at Flair, who uses the chair to blast Savage’s knee, which is enough for the countout at 26:16.

Rating: B+. This was like an amazing setup to a joke but then they forgot the punchline at the end. Allegedly the original plan called for Warrior to turn but he wouldn’t go for it, which I can understand in a way. What we got was really good, though the ending was lacking just enough to pull things down. Flair and Perfect offered some great drama though, and that’s most of what they needed to do.

Post match Flair and Perfect stay on Savage’s knee, including the Figure Four. Warrior makes the save with the chair. Warrior helps Savage up and everything is cool. The knee injury would wind up costing Savage the title, with Flair winning it a few days later.

Perfect and Flair have a plan B and they’ll get the title back.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Dr. Harvey Wippleman introduces Kamala, who also has Kim Cheer with him. The double manager thing is completely outclassed by Paul Bearer, who leads a hearse with Undertaker standing in the back to the ring. Not quite as awesome as some he would hit later, but good for early Undertaker. We get a little change of pace here as Undertaker chokes him into the corner to start and hits Old School (assuming it’s old less than two years into his run).

Another attempt is broken up thanks to a Wippleman distraction and Kamala clotheslines him to the floor, with undertaker landing on his feet. A ram into the steps doesn’t do much damage so it’s back inside for more chopping. Undertaker is fine enough for a chokeslam, but Kim Chee comes in with the pith helmet (get a chair dude) for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D-. I’m thinking this got cut short on time or something because what in the world is the point of a big entrance like that for a three and a half minute match? Then again, was anyone buying Kamala as a major threat? Maybe back in 1986 but against Undertaker? It really was a weird time for Undertaker as he was one of the bigger stars around but there was no one for him to fight. That would wind up being the case for years until Mankind showed up in 1996 as a totally different kind of threat.

Post match Kamala hits a bunch of splashes, including one from the top. Undertaker sits up anyway. But yeah, Kamala was a total threat here.

British Bulldog is ready to fight for the title, even though he is worried about what the whole ordeal has done to his family. He hopes the families reunite after the match, but it’s a dream to be here with no pressure.

Bret Hart knows how to wrestle under pressure and wants Bulldog to look him in the face and say he doesn’t know him. Bulldog doesn’t seem to remember Bret introducing him to his sister. Maybe Bulldog’s dream will wind up being a nightmare.

A Scottish band called the Balboa Highlanders performs Scotland the Brave and here’s Roddy Piper to play with them in a surprise cameo. Heenan is disappointed with the lack of break dancing.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Final bonus match and Berzerker has Mr. Fuji with him. They go with the test of strength to start and Tatanka shoves him over the top in a surprise power display. Back in and they chop it out until Berzerker misses a dropkick. Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner though and Berzerker grabs a World’s Strongest Slam.

They head outside with Tatanka being slammed on the floor and it’s back inside. Make that outside again as Tatanka clotheslines him over the top and hits his own slam on the floor. Serves the Minnesota viking (….hey) right. Back in and some chops set up a top rope chop into the Papoose To Go to finish Berzerker at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This was the weakest of the three bonus matches and I can see why it was cut from the pay per view. Granted they probably needed something for some breathing room between the show’s three big matches. These two were as stereotypical as you could get, but they weren’t out there long and the ending was clean so it’s hard to complain that much.

Sean Mooney talks to Diana Smith at ringside and she sounds as emotional as….I’ve heard more intense grilled cheese orders. She wants everything to work out but she’s on the front line with both her brother and husband.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Bret is defending and you might have heard of this one before. Bulldog has British boxing champion Lennox Lewis carrying the flag to the ring. Bret gets quite the reaction as well but I think you know who the face is here. The bell rings and after the handing out of the sunglasses, we’re ready to go. They go nose to nose to start and Bret shoves him away, so Bulldog shoves him a little bit harder. A hard shoulder puts Bret on the floor and it’s time to rethink things a bit.

Back in and Bret headlock takeovers him down before hitting an uppercut (Heenan: “Right in the old fish and chips.”). Bulldog reverses an armbar into one of his own and then catapults Bret face first into the corner. A lifting armbar doesn’t quite work so it’s a crucifix for two on Hart instead. We’re right back to the armbar as Heenan does his old “the crowd is so loud I can’t hear commentary” deal.

Back up and Bret knees him in the ribs, much to the fans’ disapproval. The chinlock doesn’t last long either so Bret hits a backbreaker and grabs it again. That’s broken up and Bulldog hits a monkey flip, only to charge into a boot in the corner. The bulldog hits the Bulldog and Bret goes up, earning himself a slam back down (How do you make that mistake on a show with Flair?). Bret sends him outside and hits a slingshot dive, landing on a completely unprepared Bulldog, nearly breaking his back in the process.

The Russian legsweep gives Bret two and he hammers away with right hands. We’re back to the chinlock (with Bret’s back to the camera, showing he doesn’t understand wrestling), followed by the snap suplex and another chinlock. Bulldog grabs a quick backslide for two in the hope spot but Bret is right back with the middle rope elbow. We’re back to the chinlock, which is switched into a sleeper to put Bulldog in even more trouble. Bulldog grabs the rope and Bret grabs the sleeper again as things go right back down.

That’s broken up and they slug it out, with Bulldog trying a gorilla press and dropping Bret HARD onto the ropes for a scary crash. Three clotheslines give Bulldog two and it’s a gorilla press into the delayed suplex for the same. Bret is back with a German suplex for the same, as Bobby insists that Ric Flair could kick out of all of this of course.

Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a top rope superplex (without much elevation, which isn’t a good thing) for the next near fall. There’s a double clothesline and they’re both down, but Bret ties the legs together into the Sharpshooter (always cool). The rope is grabbed so Bret tries a sunset flip, only to have Bulldog sit down on it for the pin, the title, and one of the all time loud roars at 25:14.

Rating: A+. Yeah what else is there to say here? It’s a masterpiece, and mainly because of Hart. Bulldog was infamously out of it throughout the match and had to be told what to do every step of the way. It is an amazing match and probably Bret’s all time performance, which is probably why he was WWF Champion before the end of the year. Great stuff here and I’m sure you know that already.

Post match Bret isn’t happy but eventually shakes his hand. Diana comes in to join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s a lot of bad on the show but the bad matches are mostly short and the two great ones are both rather long. Those are more than enough to carry the show and the huge atmosphere are more than enough to carry to a high level. It’s an excellent show and easily the biggest Summerslam ever. Now go back to England again for another big pay per view already. It’s not like it’s hard to make it work these days.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: C-

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

2013 Redo: F

2020 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2020 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B

Close enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Call the Hotline!

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

Ad for King of the Ring.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Call the Hotline!

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania VIII
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the names mentioned for a possible redo so I’ll throw it in as a bonus. On his podcast, Bruce Prichard mentioned this as one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever and I’m really not sure why. The show features a double main event with Ric Flair defending the WWF World Title against Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan’s possible retirement match against Sid Justice. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon gives us the big over the top introduction as only he can do. It only talks about the double main event but really, nothing else is worth talking about.

Gorilla and Bobby (with a VERY visible section of empty seats between their heads, which will be a recurring problem tonight) intro the show with Heenan looking for the pictures. Those would be promised “centerfolds” of Elizabeth, which Ric Flair has promised. More on this later.

Reba McIntyre singes the Star Spangled Banner. It’s odd to hear anything but America the Beautiful.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito is a bullfighter (it didn’t work then either) and Heenan says he’s McIntyre’s sister. Heenan: “That’s arriba McIntyre!” Shawn has Sherri with him and we get a cool shot from behind with Shawn looking up at the huge stadium. This is his first singles Wrestlemania so it’s quite the big moment for his career. Heenan thinks Shawn is a future Intercontinental Champion. He’s a few months early but he certainly can call things.

We get a long stretch of Sherri leaving and some trash talk before we actually do anything because stalling is a thing on stadium shows too. They start fast (once they start that is) with Tito getting two off a crossbody and headlocking him to the mat. Shawn gets sent outside in a heap and that means it’s time for the over the top selling. We hit the headlock again and MY GOODNESS there are some half empty sections very visible in the upper deck. If that happened today, the production staff would all be fired.

Tito pops him in the jaw and Sherri is panicking at the thought of Shawn’s face being damaged. It’s back to the headlock and Shawn can’t even throw him off with a lift into the air. Heenan swears that he’s won a match with a headlock and that someone even gave up during instructions.

Back up and Shawn finally throws him over the top for a huge crash to take over. A backbreaker keeps Tito in trouble as Sherri is taking her glove off for some reason. We hit the chinlock and even more of those empty sections are shown. There’s almost no angle you can show here that doesn’t display them and it’s really distracting. Tito fights up but charges into the superkick (not yet a finisher) and Heenan declares no more tacos tonight.

The Teardrop Suplex is broken up and Tito scores with his flying forearm (Heenan: “That’s the Flying Jalapeno!”) to send Shawn outside. Back in and Tito slugs away, allowing Shawn to do the overblown Wrestlemania selling for the first time. El Paso Del Muerte (jumping forearm to the back) sends Shawn to the floor and Tito tries a suplex, only to have Shawn grab the rope and fall on top for the pin at 10:38.

Rating: B-. Good opener here as Tito is one of those guys who is always good for a solid performance. Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise here (give someone Sherri if you need them to get a rocket attached to their back) and a win in a competitive match was a good start. Solid match here and that’s all it needed to be.

Gene Okerlund is on the platform and brings out the Legion of Doom for an interview, including manager Paul Ellering. Paul talks about the need to put the team together in the first place and now revenge has brought them back together. He’s not here to get rich but to get even. Animal talks about facing and defeating adversity and now it’s time to get revenge on everyone, including Jimmy Hart and Money Inc.

Hawk says they’re a runaway train and now, look who’s driving the train. Paul wraps it up by saying they’re going to earn their money the old fashioned way: beating people for it. They want the titles back and don’t care who they have to beat to get them back. Ellering was good for the team in the NWA but I have no idea why he was needed here. Or why he’s somehow back in WWE twenty six years later.

Jake Roberts isn’t bringing a snake back to the ring but he will recap his feud with Undertaker. He’s gone full evil to go after Ultimate Warrior but since Warrior left the company, Undertaker turned face on Jake, setting up the match. Jake trapped Undertaker’s hand in the casket on the Funeral Parlor and laid Bearer out with a DDT, followed by a chair shot to Undertaker. Evil Jake was awesome but this was a bit of a different kind of animal.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

I love that pulling himself up from the corner thing that Jake does. Diamond Dallas Page borrowed it from him and it’s not all that surprising. Jake slugs away to start and reality sets in very quickly. A running right hand puts Undertaker on the floor but Jake gets pulled outside as well. The beating is on and the fans are WAY into a fired up Undertaker.

Back in and Jake’s right hands still don’t have much effect so Bobby starts making Munsters references. Better than the Addams Family at least. Undertaker starts choking but Jake grabs a quick DDT and you can feel the fans react. Then Undertaker sits up and it’s very clear that this is something different. Another DDT drops Undertaker again but this time Jake goes after Bearer….as Undertaker gets up again. That means a Tombstone on the floor and Jake is DEAD for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. This was around the time where the Undertaker would start to be the kind of attraction that the company wanted him to be. It’s clear that there’s something very different about him and beating a big name like Roberts was a great way to push him towards that goal. I mean, beating Hogan less than six months ago did it even more so but still, awesome booking here. This was Jake’s last match with the company until 1996 as he was turned down for Pat Patterson’s job and left as a result.

Roddy Piper and Bret Hart are in the back with Roddy talking about growing up together when Bret was a bit dumb. Apparently Mrs. Hart would make them sandwiches but Bret finally cuts him off. They’re supposed to have a nice contest for the Intercontinental Title but Bret wants to be serious. That’s fine with Roddy and the match is on. Bret lost the title due to wrestling with a high fever and Piper won it almost immediately. This is Bret’s big rematch and one of the most intriguing matches on the show.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. The first minute is spent with Piper taking off his kilt and some instructions from the referee. Never let it be said that Wrestlemania doesn’t know how to waste time. Piper armdrags him down to start as Monsoon actually analyzes the match, which isn’t something you get from most other announcers. Heenan’s idea: waffle the other guy with a tire iron.

Piper tries some amateur wrestling and is quickly sent outside in a huff. Back in and Piper spits at Bret and Heenan wants an apology right now. Bret wins a battle of the wristlocks and Piper can’t chop his way to freedom. Monsoon says thirty countries are watching the show live, lists off three of them, and then stops for a good fifteen seconds of silence. A running dropkick drops Piper but Bret comes up holding his shoulder. Heenan sees right through it (Bobby: “WHAT A GREAT MOVE!”) and Roddy is REALLY not happy.

Bret comes back with a running crossbody and they fall out to the floor at the same time. Piper is up first and holds the ropes for Bret but naturally gets in a cheap shot to take over. Well you know he’s the most natural heel ever so it’s not exactly a surprise. A bulldog gives Piper two and Bret is busted open (which he lied about, claiming that it was a hardway cut to save his job) somewhere in there.

Bret is fine enough to get two off a sunset flip and Heenan is begging for some more violence. A slugout goes to Piper so Bret hits a running forearm to knock him outside. Back in and a double clothesline puts them both down with Piper’s head landing on Bret. Heenan wants a count but Monsoon accurately says all four shoulders are down so there can’t be a pin. So much for the Brain.

Bret is up first with the Five Moves of Doom but Piper blocks the Sharpshooter. The middle rope elbow hits a raised boot and Piper has an opening. The referee gets bumped though and Bret is sent face first into the steps. Piper grabs the bell but can’t bring himself to do it (Heenan: “GIVE IT TO ME! I’LL HIT HIM!”), instead grabbing a sleeper. Bret climbs the corner and flips backwards onto Piper for the pin and the title at 13:52.

Rating: A-. This is the match that you point at when you need to prove that Piper can put on a good match when he’s given the chance. Bret winning the title back here was all that this should have been and the classic made it an even better moment. That ending would be used several times over the years and is rather famous in its own right, which is rather fitting when it comes from a classic wrestler like Bret. Great match here and another example of how talented both of them really are.

They shake hands to make it clear that Piper is still on the good side.

Heenan sends us to Atlanta, Georgia and the home of future WBF Bodystars Champion Lex Luger. Lex is his usual smug self and praises Bobby while calling Gorilla fat. Luger takes off his shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and Heenan is WAY too excited. He has some milk to wrap this up with Monsoon not exactly being impressed. Monsoon: “You found someone even more conceited than you are!”

The Mountie, the Nasty Boys and Repo Man are excited for the eight man tag.

Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Virgil and Big Boss Man are excited for the eight man tag. Remember that Slaughter was main eventing the show last year.

Comedian Ray Combs is guest ring announcer for said eight man tag and of course he has some jokes. Since we can’t survey who will be good or evil (yeah you can), he’s asked 100 people (the gimmick of his Family Feud game show) about some of the people in the match. The Mountie is dumb like the Three Stooges, Repo Man is ugly and looks like a girl and the Nasty Boys are only successful because they’re lucky. With that he’s chased off and we’re ready to go.

The Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan/Big Boss Man/Virgil

The good guys clean house with elbows and clotheslines as Heenan plugs some WWF names being on Family Feud. So there’s your cross promotion. Hang on though: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Monsoon: “WHO CARES?” Well Shawn might. Anyway we settle down to Sags vs. Duggan with Jim firing off some clotheslines. I mean, as much fire as Duggan is going to have.

Slaughter comes in for some clotheslines of his own to Knobbs before dropping to his knees for an elbow to the ribs. What an odd visual. It’s off to Boss Man for a wind up uppercut but he misses a splash on Repo Man. Repo jumps onto Boss Man’s back, shouts ONE MORE TIME, and jumps right into a low blow.

Virgil, with a broken nose, comes in and gets taken down without much effort. Even Heenan is running out of ways to make fun of the people in this match because Virgil is such a joke in the first place. Sags hits a pumphandle slam but Boss Man comes in with a spinebuster as everything breaks down. Some heel miscommunication sees Sags hit Knobbs to give Virgil the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D. Wrestlemania was different back then, which might be the biggest understatement of the wrestling year. This was a house show match to pop the crowd but here it served as a way to let them cool down a bit after the title change. At least it served a purpose, but it feels so out of place on here.

Flair and his executive consultant Mr. Perfect look at the blown up picture of Liz (we can’t see it of course) with Flair swearing it’s real. Ric talks about the bright lights and the big city where Savage will try to reclaim the biggest trophy of them all. After Savage takes the beating of his life, Savage can look up and see the pictures just like everyone else. Then Liz has one more shot at Space Mountain. Perfect: “Can I come along with you this time champ?”

Savage won’t grant interviews.

Since the company doesn’t feel the need to explain the story, the idea here is Flair claimed to have been with Liz before she met Savage. As Savage is completely crazy most days and even worse when it comes to her, this sent him into the rage of all rages and set up the angle after the match was made, which is always odd. Anyway, Flair has promised to show some rather private pictures of Liz, which have only been referenced about a hundred times in the first hour and ten minutes of the show.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and wearing red, meaning he’s likely losing (Look it up. He almost never wins a big match when he’s wearing red.). Heenan instantly says that to be fair to Flair, you have to say that’s a great robe, giving Monsoon one of his best ever WILL YOU STOP’s. Savage jumps Flair in the aisle until Perfect drags him off the champ. Heenan sums things up very well: Savage wants to hurt Flair rather than win the title so things should be going fine for Flair (and Heenan, who was in full on Flair fanboy mode here).

Flair tries an atomic drop and gets his head taken off with a clothesline. A backdrop sends Savage to the floor with one of his trademark great bumps. Savage is already favoring his back so Flair stomps away as Heenan goes into one of the best, longest rants I’ve ever heard him give on Flair not losing. Flair gets two off a suplex (Heenan: “An eighty year old woman could have counted faster than Hebner!”) and the belly to back version is good for the same. A chop takes Savage right back down and Flair drops him back first onto the apron.

Another suplex gets another two as they’ve moved to a rather slow pace. Savage manages to get in a neckbreaker and Heenan needs a drink. The required slam off the top keeps Flair in trouble and Heenan is begging for Flair to do something. I know I’m talking about Heenan a lot in this match but he’s absolutely amazing here. The Flair Flip sends Ric to the top but he dives into a clothesline for two and Heenan….well I think you can figure this one out from here.

Savage sends him outside and hits an ax handle to drive Flair into the barricade. With Flair falling down, we get one of the most obvious blade jobs you’ll ever see (nearly getting him fired in the process). Back in and Savage hammers away with another ax handle getting two. The big elbow connects but Perfect pulls Savage out at two. Thank goodness that wasn’t a DQ or they might have burned the dome down.

Perfect gets dragged in and the referee gets bumped for a few seconds, allowing Perfect to throw Flair an object. That’s only good for two as well so Perfect nails Savage in the leg with a chair. Cue Liz with a host of suits (including Shane McMahon in one of his first on-screen appearances) trying to stop her. Flair goes into his usual leg work routine and the Figure Four goes on. Heenan: “SHOW ME THE PICTURES!”

Perfect grabs the hand so the referee kicks it away, allowing Savage to turn it over and break the hold. A small package gives Savage two (and a GREAT false near fall with the crowd gasping) but Flair goes back to the knee. Savage blocks a right hand though and a rollup (with trunks) gives Randy the title back at 17:58.

Rating: A. I got WAY into this match watching it back and was having a great time with everything. The crowd completely bought into Savage’s quest for revenge with the title just being a bonus prize. All the cheating was great stuff with Savage overcoming all odds, partially due to the inspiration from Liz. The match was even different from the usual stuff with Savage having long stretches of control, which you almost never see in a match like this. Really great stuff here and an underrated classic. If nothing else just listen to Heenan’s commentary.

Post match Heenan bails from the booth and Flair tries to kiss Liz. That earns him a bunch of slaps to the face as everything goes crazy. Perfect takes Savage down and Flair goes after the knee as all the suits are powerless to stop anything. Savage fights up and cleans house before finally being announced as the new champion.

Perfect claims a handful of trunks (accurate) and says that’s not how a macho man would act. Heenan comes in and says there’s nothing to worry about because it’s all on tape. Flair says tonight, a man is going to walk around Indianapolis claiming to be the real World’s Champion and to have the love of Liz. Perfect talks about Savage taking a shortcut, which Flair has NEVER done. Perfect: “Just like his old lady! A cheater!” Ric promises to get the title back and kiss Liz whenever he sees her.

Savage can barely walk and says this isn’t done. Today was just a piece of what Flair has coming to him because he hasn’t been beaten up properly. Flair has somehow made him even madder than he was so it doesn’t matter where it is, but Ric is getting the beating he deserves. Liz isn’t allowed to say if she’s been vindicated as Savage gives her the belt, saying it’s hers. Savage if Flairs though and this is just a piece. GREAT stuff here from Savage who can play the crazed man like few others (and I use the term “play” loosely).

We recap Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan. Hulk had been named #1 contender and Sid wasn’t happy. Therefore he turned on Hogan during a tag match and went on a major rampage, including destroying the Barber Shop set. That was enough to change Wrestlemania as Hogan wanted to fight Sid instead. Hogan has also teased that this might be his last match, which translates to “steroids are becoming a big issue and Hogan isn’t the cleanest looking guy in the world”.

Intermission keeps going with some members of Tatanka’s tribe dancing in the ring.

Rick Martel has some reservations about Tatanka because he’s still outside scalping tickets.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Yes this is on Wrestlemania as it’s just a different time. Martel knees him in the ribs to start as Heenan issues a statement on it being a matter of time until they get the title back. He lists off all of his jobs in the Flair organization with Monsoon only responding with “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan offers to put em up and Monsoon laughs it off.

Tatanka elbows his way out of trouble and sends Martel shoulder first into the post. A choke takedown drops Tatanka as we’re still waiting on the announcers to acknowledge the match going on. Martel sends him hard to the floor as Monsoon says “Ric Flair” is giving a wrestling lesson right now. Rick heads up but gets crotched, setting up the comeback and a crossbody to pin Martel at 4:31.

Rating: D. Just a filler match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Today it would be a quick comedy match or something so it’s hard to argue with something being in this spot on the card. Martel feels out of place here, though there’s nothing wrong with having a solid hand like him on the roster. You’re going to get least a watchable match out of him and this did its job, albeit not in the most entertaining way.

Tag Team Champions Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and IRS with new manager Jimmy Hart) is ready to take care of the Natural Disasters. Hart jumped from the Disasters to Money Inc. and has told them all of the Disasters’ secrets. It’s not a bad idea and it’s not like it’s hard to boo Money Inc.

The Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) are ready for revenge and the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending. IRS starts with Earthquake but bails in very short order as Heenan complains about all the noise here. Some hard shoves send DiBiase into the corner before the champs are rocked with some big clotheslines. After a meeting with Jimmy, it’s IRS getting his arm hammered by Earthquake.

Typhoon comes in for a hiptoss and it’s his turn to get tossed into the corner. Completely one sided so far as Gorilla keeps mocking Heenan over Flair’s loss. Typhoon finally misses a splash in the corner and it’s off to DiBiase. We get an awkward looking sequence where DiBiase doesn’t seem ready to low bridge Typhoon to the floor. No worries though as they do it again a few seconds later (erg) and this time Typhoon goes over.

A double clothesline (somehow to the back of the head as Typhoon can’t even run the ropes properly) sets up a front facelock as this is dying before my eyes. Back up and Typhoon gets in a clothesline for his own for the ice cold tag to Earthquake. Everything breaks down and DiBiase is clotheslined to the floor. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but IRS is pulled to the floor and it’s an intentional countout to retain the titles at 8:37.

Rating: F. WOW this was terrible and the fans clearly didn’t care. Can you blame them though? Not only was it boring but on top of that it was full of botches and had a house shoe level finish. Just horrible stuff here and in the running for worst Wrestlemania match ever. That’s some rather elite company and I have no idea why they thought this was a good idea.

Brutus Beefcake is here to support Hulk Hogan because Hulkamania will live forever.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

Oh come on GET TO THE MAIN EVENT ALREADY! Skinner jumps him from behind to start and hits a quick shoulder breaker. The reverse DDT gets two on Owen but he skins the cat and grabs an O’Connor Roll to pin Skinner at 1:08. Absolute filler.

Sid cuts off Gene Okerlund, calling him a short, bald headed little oaf. He’s going to destroy Hulkamania once and for all. We go to a sitdown interview with Hogan where he says he’s just not sure if this is his final match or not. Vince, conducting the interview, shakes his hand and thanks him for everything. Sid promises to destroy every Hulkamaniac because he rules the world.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Sid has Harvey Whippleman in his corner. Hogan gets the big entrance and the fans are as into it as they’ve been in a good while but Sid jumps him from behind. In one of the most underrated Hogan sequences ever, he does a mini Hulk Up, punches Sid to the floor, and clotheslines him off the apron to send Sid outside. You can feel the power of Hulkamania and my goodness it works so freaking well all over again.

We settle down to Sid choking and hammering in the corner but Hulk is right back with more right hands. The fans are ALL OVER this and Sid bails to the floor for a minute. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Hogan going down. As the fans all reconsider their place in life, Hogan fights up but gets knocked into the corner. Hogan is in trouble again and gets sent to the floor for some shots to the back from Harvey’s medical bag.

Sid grabs a nerve hold and it looks like Hogan is taking a nap. Sid’s powerbomb sets up Hogan’s fish out of water selling and it’s time for the Hulk Up. Heenan: “THEY’RE BOTH NUTS!” The big boot and a slam (not exactly impressive on Sid) set up the legdrop….for two, as the scheduled run-in was mistimed (on purpose, as the company decided to make Hogan look bad in case it was his last match). Instead Harvey comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: D-. I know the wrestling is pretty terrible but my goodness some of those Hogan comebacks felt like the old days. The fans helped this one a lot and the opening was just too much to call this a failure. It felt like a house show match and that’s completely unacceptable for a Wrestlemania main event, but at least it had some great moments.

Post match Papa Shango (the scheduled run-in) comes out for the double beatdown but the Ultimate Warrior makes his return after about eight months away for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is all over the place as it goes from very good to horrible all night long. The ending with Warrior returning is more than enough of a combination with the two great matches to make the show work though and really, some of the bad matches are short enough that they don’t mean much. It doesn’t mean much in the long term as this was a VERY weak time for the company, but better times were coming in the forms of Bret and Shawn. For one last hurrah for the old guard though, it worked as a fun show, albeit one that needed a very powerful fast forward button.

Ratings Comparison

Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Jim Duggan/Virgil/Sgt. Slaughter/Big Boss Man

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D

Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Skinner vs. Owen Hart

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2018 Redo: B-

Nothing really out of the norm there and I’ve liked the show every time.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/15/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-8-hogan-who-needs-the-bald-man/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/17/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-viii-show-me-the-pictures/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Ok so for once we really do have a ton of changes here. For one thing, this is far closer to a standard PPV. There’s one Survivor Series match which is kind of one I guess, but it’s two tag teams and if one member is eliminated both members are gone so it’s kind of a Survivor Series match but not really. The other huge difference here is that there’s no Hogan or Warrior. Warrior is on the box of the tape, but he wasn’t on the show.

He was supposed to be in half of the double main event, a tag match with Savage against Razor Ramon and Flair. However, he bailed a week before the show and the WWF had to use Mr. Perfect in what I thought was a great angle that I’ll get to later. Other than that, your main event is Bret vs. Shawn. This was a real gamble for Vince as we had never tried having two standard wrestlers go at it in a major show’s main event.

There’s no big muscle head to go out and have a match, but Vince put his faith in what he had left and to me, it worked. Other than that, this isn’t going to look like the Survivor Series. With what’s been happening lately at this show, it can’t be worse, so let’s see how this is.

We open with the Reverend Slick saying…ummm…I have no idea what he’s talking about. I think it was something about spreading light. Yeah this was a strange character but he was very energetic so I can’t complain. Vince and Bobby go over the double main event and we’re ready to go.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Koko B. Ware and Owen Hart in really bright and baggy neon pants and suspenders. Headshrinkers are two Samoans that are monsters. Guess what this is. Yep, it’s a squash, however, oddly enough the Headshrinkers are in the ring before High Energy is introduced so they look like the jobbers. That’s just odd. I’ve always been a mark for the Headshrinkers so if nothing else I’ll probably like this match.

Fatu is more commonly known as Rikishi. Vince is needling Bobby about Perfect’s face turn which is just great. How in the world is Koko a Hall of Fame member? That just boggles my mind every time I think about it. Vince says that High Energy has been very successful so far. That’s nonsense but oh well. Heenan asks Vince if the Headshrinkers will be at his house for Thanksgiving. That’s an amusing thought and oddly enough I think Vince would have fun with it.

After Koko gets the tar beaten out of him for a good while, he makes the hot tag to the most talented guy in the match, Owen. Owen comes in and beats up the Headshrinkers for a bit, but the overall mass of the fat one is too much for Owen and he’s pinned after a big splash from the top.

This was fairly long at about seven and a half minutes but it was really just an extended squash. Post match Heenan uses his Brain Scan, a telestrator, the white pen thing on the screen, to show how Owen is a turkey. In other words, he draws pictures with it.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t bad, but it was a nice breath of air compared to most Survivor Series matches. It was a standard tag team squash, which isn’t something that you see very often anymore, mainly because the tag team division sucks. Anyway, this was at least ok. It’s not great but it’s not bad. It’s certainly acceptable and a fine choice to open the show.

Alfred Hayes is with Boss Man who says he’s going to beat Nailz.

Sean Mooney says that viewer discretion is advised for the following match. Now there’s something you don’t see every day. Nailz implies Boss Man was abusive and that he’s been waiting for this. He says he’s a good climber, so does that mean he’s an escaped convict? Yeah that’s just kind of stupid.

Boss Man cuts a promo…again. He says the exact same thing. I think only one was shown on the live broadcast, but I really don’t get why they did two in a row like this. The second is better.

Nightstick on a Pole: Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

During that second promo, Boss Man runs off mid sentence to catch Nailz who is trying to get the stick early. That at least makes sense. Yep it’s a big brawl. That’s all this was supposed to be. Boss Man was more or less worthless at this point, but Nailz was going to be given the Undertaker of all people next, as he had several house show matches followed by being on the cover of the WWF Magazine. However, after nearly murdering Vince McMahon (literally) he was fired.

As you would expect, both guys go for the post but neither can get it. The pole is too short though and all you have to do is stand on the top rope. Of course since this is a pole match and all they have to do is standard climbing, it takes 20 seconds to get up there. Nailz at least has the psychology of it right as he uses mainly chokes and punches. He’s not supposed to be a polished wrestler and he’s not wrestling like one.

He’s a street fighter and he’s acting like one. At least he’s smart enough to do that. This is just a sloppy match all around. They’re worn out after about three minutes with no big bumps yet. The way Bobby and Vince are talking about it you would think this was a Hell in a Cell match or something. See, if I were in this match, I’d let the other guy get the stick and then jump him on the way down, but then again I’m not a professional.

Boss Man gets the stick and beats Nailz with it, but a shot to the head isn’t enough to keep him down apparently. Nailz gets it and hits Boss Man in the side with it. He then waits for him to get up, misses a shot, gets punched twice, whipped in and the Boss Man Slam ends it. Yep that’s it. This was a waste of time.

Rating: D+. This was just awful. There was no point at all to it and it should have been a standard match instead of this mess. The nightstick served next to no purpose but of course it looked like it was awesome. It just wasn’t entertaining at all and ended without the stick being a factor. Just make it a one on one next time people.

Nailz, while choking Mooney, says that was more injustice.

Tatanka is in the back with Alfred Hayes. He says that tonight he’ll get back his eagle feathers and honor his people. Well at least it’s borderline original.

Gene is with Flair and Razor. Gene talks about how there was a big swerve going on and how Perfect is the new partner. We go to the tape of Prime Time Wrestling where Perfect turned. This was just after Warrior had left and Savage was on satellite from Florida. He says that his partner could be perfect for him.

The design of the show was a round table with Vince, Hillbilly Jim, Jim Duggan, Heenan and Perfect there discussing various things in the company and talking about matches that were shown. That’s actually a pretty cool idea when you think about it. Anyway, Vince says do you mean Mr. Perfect and Savage says he does. Heenan speaks for Perfect, saying that they both take orders from Flair and that Perfect isn’t wrestling anywhere.

Perfect takes offense to this and says that he’s tired of being ordered around before accepting. Heenan slaps him which causes Perfect to grab him by the tie and pour water over him, saying that Flair is afraid of him. We cut back to Flair, who is TICKED over this. He talks to Perfect, saying that he had it all and is throwing it away.

There’s a hint of fear in his voice which is just great as this is a heck of a promo. Ramon says that his team will win. He really wasn’t that good yet and it showed in his promos. He would get a lot better. The partnership here was always kind of a weird one as it was never really explained.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

This is happening because Martel stole some feathers from Tatanka which were important. Well it’s better than nothing I guess. This is a bit of a departure from the Survivor Series idea wouldn’t you say? Heenan goes on a huge rant about life in general, mainly focused on Perfect. Martel chokes and Heenan shouts out that HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Sgt. Slaughter is now an enforcer of rules or something like that. A front facelock by Martel gets him nowhere. Scratch that as it gets him suplexed. Ok so it failed him once so now we go right back to it. Doink is here now as he has only been here for about five weeks now. Amazingly enough the facelock leads to ANOTHER suplex. That’s just appropriate.

Doink makes a balloon animal for a kid and steals it. That’s straight up awesome. Martel uses the hold AGAIN. Dude three times with the same hold in 3 minutes? Seriously? Are you that bored? A cop shows up in the front row and takes a sign as we cut away. It probably said WCW or something like that, making that person EVIL!

Martel hits the post with his shoulder so the stereotype goes after it, showing some intelligence. Backslide gets two which of course Vince swears is a pin. Doink continues to be a big focus here but I don’t think anything ever came of his involvement here. How weird is it to think that Vince has been WWF Champion but neither of these guys were?

Martel works on the back now as Tatanka is in trouble. Decent little match so far if nothing else. Double axe off the middle rope eats fist though and here comes the warpath thing. Top rope chop hits Martel and he’s in big trouble. Samoan drop ends it and Tatanka gets the feathers back. Doink pops the kids’ balloons just to be evil.

Rating: C-. This was fine for what it was: a midcard match that nothing ever really came of. It was the end to this mini-feud and nothing else ever came of it. Both guys were at least ok in the ring and it went fine I guess. Nothing ever came of the Doink thing though, which means it was indeed, completely pointless, for him to be out there at the end.

We go to Mooney who is with Savage and Perfect, who say that they’re a strange team but they respect each other. In some weird way, this match actually looks decent enough I guess. Perfect gives a WOO at the end which ticks Bobby off during the intros.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

The faces get a HUGE pop, especially Savage. How in the world did Vince not push him as top face once Hulk left? I’ll never get that for the life of me. He had everything: the look, the ability, the resume, yet for no apparent reason he was put behind the announce desk. That just doesn’t make sense to me. Heenan is so angry about this match that it’s hilarious. We start with Perfect against Ramon which gets yet another pop.

This AWA reunion begins with Perfect being all over the place and outmaneuvering Razor. The forgotten aspect is that these two are former AWA World Tag Team Champions. Perfect nails Flair and we get the big showdown. Savage and Flair is one of the best feuds ever. Both guys can go in the ring and it offered proof that the company could work without the big orange man to help them out. The heels take over now as Ramon puts on an abdominal stretch.

Vince has apparently been hanging out with Monsoon too much as he criticizes it for a lack of the hook of the toe. Has anyone ever done that hold properly? The heels are dominating Savage now, which makes sense as Perfect hasn’t been around for about a year now so it makes sense that he’s on the apron for a lot of the match. As Savage is being beaten on, Perfect turns to walk away. This makes limited sense as there’s no point to it really.

The heels do the smart thing and point Savage’s face at Perfect leaving, which would I guess work to break his spirit a bit. See, that’s why Flair is better than most wrestlers: he had the mental aspect of wrestling down. That’s a critical key to a wrestler that most people don’t have. Heenan ranting about Perfect is flat out awesome. This has been a pretty good match so far. It’s not great, but it’s what you would expect from a main event level tag match I suppose.

Razor hits a chokeslam which doesn’t have a name yet. Heenan says that he’s seen Ramon do that to the people on the streets of Miami. What area of Miami is Ramon from? I’ve never been there but apparently 6’6 men chokeslam you on the cement there. That’s fairly cool. Also, as Ramon goes for the cover and Perfect looks for the save, Bobby yells “GET OUT OF THE RING YOU LOWLIFE!”

That’s just an awesome line if there ever was one. He sounds so ticked off which is all you can ask for here. Flair goes to the top, and I’ll give you two guesses as to what happens. Actually you would be wrong because Savage does something different here. He climbs to the middle rope before going back to the bottom rope to slam him. That wouldn’t really add anything to the move I don’t think, but whatever, it looked cool.

This lets Savage get the hot tag to Perfect who proceeds to clean house. It’s chair time as Savage gets taken out by a shot from Flair. The referee gets bumped and apparently the other one was just behind the curtain because he’s out there in like 4 seconds. Perfect and Ramon are going at it and Razor sets for the Edge. Perfect gets a sweet counter by kicking off the top rope and backdropping Ramon.

He hits the Perfectplex but only gets two because of Flair. He hits another on Flair but no pin again with Razor making the save. Since both guys are in the ring forever, we get the DQ in a cheap ending. Flair puts him in the figure four and eventually Savage makes the save with a chair as the faces win. The face celebration takes way too long as they’re channeling Hogan I guess.

Rating: B. The ending hurts it a bit, but this was solid. It was a good tag match and while it didn’t have a definitive ending, it might be better that it didn’t here. Perfect looked good while Ramon looked pretty good as well. This was what you would expect from these four in this kind of a match. It went fine though, and I can’t really complain about anything other than the ending I guess. Bobby’s rants are great here.

Flair and Ramon are angry of course and they vow revenge.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

This was the not incredibly fat Yoko, as he’s only 505 at this point and the monster that we know him as. He’s billed from Polynesia here which is just odd in all respects. We get a segment from earlier in the day where Hayes goes to Yoko’s room for an interview but Yoko is getting a massage. Fuji offers to let Alfred get a massage. He’s liking it as Fuji throws him out. Vince tries to make this match sound good. That’s just funny.

Despite being Polynesian apparently, Fuji has the Japanese flag. Vince says he hasn’t been tested yet. Apparently that’s going to be the case after this match too. Naturally, Virgil really can’t do much here. It’s basic jobber offense with punches and dropkicks that fail more and more every time. Yoko hits a sweet kick to the face that knocks him down with ease. He crushes him with a sweet spinning rock bottom suplex.

The squashing continues as Virgil tries to out move him. Vince says he’s trying to stay away from him as he’s running right at him. I love that classic Vince commentary. In a spot I’ve always wanted to see, Virgil goes for a school boy and Yoko just sits on him. That’s as simple as you could get and it worked perfectly. Within a few seconds the Banzai ends this one.

Rating: C. It’s a squash so I guess we’ll call it average. Virgil of course stood no chance here and it was nothing more than a way to get Yoko over and there’s nothing at all wrong with doing that here. It gave him a win over a somewhat big name and Virgil gets to eat tonight, so things are fine here. It was short, under four minutes that is, so what can I really complain about?

We go to the back with Savage and Perfect who say that was great. They say Ramon and Flair are the turkeys.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

This is the elimination tag I was talking about earlier. Money Inc. are the tag champions here and are in the middle of a feud with the Nastys that I don’t remember in the slightest. DiBiase is wearing the stupid white attire again which if you’ve read my thoughts on Summerslam 92, you know my take on. The other two teams had fought at Summerslam so I guess that constitutes a feud, despite it being a squash. Yeah that makes sense.

The Nastys are WAY over. That’s quite surprising to me. Again, this is a very boring match indeed. I don’t get the point in having these kinds of things, although I guess in this case only having one works fine. This is even a switch from the normal stuff and it’s still rather pointless. Vince asks if Heenan will be on an upcoming European tour. Heenan says he might but it’s really none of Vince’s business.

I love lines like that where given what we know now the meanings are far different. Yep, this match sucks as well. Why can’t there just be interesting matches on a show? I don’t get how hard that is to accomplish. Anyway, after about five minutes of people just beating on each other with the freaking Nasty Boys being the most over out there (I will never get wrestling fans at times), we get to what we knew was coming: the wild brawl.

Out of this, the Beverlies go down to the Earthquake from Earthquake. He really needed a better name for that move. My goodness Typhoon was worthless. Actually that’s not true. He was good for comedy, as he’s more commonly known as the legendary Shockmaster. Good grief this will just not end.

The heels dominate for a few minutes until Typhoon comes in to clean house a bit. This works for awhile until IRS rolls him up to eliminate the Disasters. Within five seconds, Knobbs rolls him up for the win. I kind of like that ending I think.

Rating: D. Oy this was another horrible match. There’s just no point to this match other than to further Nasties vs. Money Inc., which begs the question of why not just have them go at it by themselves? Wouldn’t that make things a lot easier? I’d certainly think so. Either way, this was nothing special and for the most part was just flat out boring. That seems to be a trend here.

We recap Taker vs. Kamala with the main thing being Kamala is scared of caskets. Why does that not surprise me? We see Taker building a massive casket before we go to the arena for the match.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

This is different than the traditional casket match with the rules here being that you have to get the pinfall and THEN put them in the box. Yeah that’s just redundant. The intros here are long but not modern day Taker long as it only takes about five minutes for both guys to come out. Taker and Bearer have the massive coffin with them which is always cool looking, but this one is way too bright for my liking.

Immediately we see the two major issues in this match. First of all, Kamala sucks, badly. Even for a monster he sucks. Second, the coffin aspect is just stupid since it’s pinfall first. Due to that, there’s really no point to the box aspect. They should have made it one or the other, but granted this was a first so they were really in the dark at this point. So far this is your standard monster vs. monster match. Taker beats on both managers but gets chopped by Kamala. This was a very odd time in Taker’s career.

They knew that he was a huge asset and talent, but they had absolutely no clue what to do with him. Since they didn’t know all they did was throw him against monster after monster whom Taker would usually beat after losing an initial encounter. This feud in particular since after this at the Rumble, Whippleman would bring in Giant Gonzalez who would destroy Taker for a bit before Taker put him away at Summerslam.

About 12 years later, the feud was completely recycled but with Muhammad Hassan and Mark Henry combining to play the role of Kamala and Great Khali being Gonzalez. The IWC HATED this feud because we were literally calling every single thing that was going to happen and we were right. Now to be fair, they waited over 10 years so I guess it’s ok, but still it was a very boring 8 months as far as we were concerned when it came to Taker.

Kamala starts taking over and hits some of the worst splashes ever. Like I’ve said, unless it’s from the top rope, for the most part if you use a splash for a finisher, odds are you’re not a very good wrestler. With Taker down, Kim Chee and Kamala literally play hot potato with the urn. Taker sits up and nails Kamala with it for the pin. See, after that they ring the bell, which shows how stupid this is. They roll Kamala into the coffin and literally nail it shut. Yep that’s it.

Rating: C+. Eh, given what they had this was about as good as it was going to get I suppose. Taker winning was never in doubt at all, but it was ok. It certainly could have been worse but they kept it short and that was a big plus for these guys. There’s really not a lot that they’ll be able to do, so I’m happy with this overall. The gimmick was a bit stupid, but they didn’t know what they were doing, so this is slightly above average.

Shawn cuts a pretty bad promo, talking about how he beat Bulldog for the IC belt, who beat Hart for the belt at Summerslam. Apparently Bret has defended the title the most times in history, which is impressive since I think he won it about 6 weeks before this. He was brand new to the big time and you could see he was very nervous.

We get a pointless bit about Kim Chee and Harvey opening the casket and Kamala not being able to move. And that’s about it.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

After Shawn’s intro, we go to the back for an interview with Bret. Since winning the belt he’s defended against Mountie, Berzerker, Rick Martel, Papa Shango and Virgil. And people have the nerve to ask why his first reign wasn’t taken seriously. Bret talks about how thankful he is for what he’s done and how he’s gotten this far. This had the potential to be a great promo, but Bret just wasn’t that good on the mic yet, which is understandable.

It fit his character really well as he was supposed to be the best pure wrestler in the world and while he couldn’t talk he could go in the ring. That’s what he did, and it worked very well. Like I said, this was a huge gamble for the company as they had no clue how to do a big show without Hogan or Warrior. This could have sunk the company for Vince, but thankfully he stuck to his guns and put two of his best young guys out there.

Bret gets a solid pop but not huge. Vince of course tries to make it sound bigger than Hogan ever got. Heenan gets in a great line. Vince says that Bret is likely the most scientific champion of all time. Heenan in his most condescending and annoyed voice says wrong. Vince asks who. Heenan: Flair. He sounds so snobby and annoyed here that it’s perfect. They start with a lengthy feeling out period, which makes sense here and works well since both of these guys can do just about anything.

Also, at this time Shawn doesn’t use the kick as his finisher, but rather a weird suplex move. The kick is in his arsenal but it’s just a run of the mill move. He’s kind of like a rookie MMA Brock Lesnar. He had everything else but he couldn’t finish people. Bret gets a hammerlock and Shawn actually taps but since it’s 1992 no one gets that. Dang maybe he’s more like Lesnar than I thought. Heenan mentions he gets paid a lot of money to do his job.

Vince’s “I’m sure you do” response is full of sarcasm which again is funnier now given that we know he signs Heenan’s checks. Given that this is a pretty long opening part of the match, the fans are staying into it which is a very good thing. Shawn uses that same rolling counter for a hip toss that he’s used before and it’s still completely awesome. Vince really likes talking about how Bret won the title.

How they evolved into what they became just five years later amazes me. We pick up the pace a bit which makes the match more interesting. Granted it was fine before but now it’s a bit better. Bret takes the standard momentum turning bump of having his shoulder hit the post at full speed.

Shawn shifts into a standard heel offense and this is working pretty well. These two have a natural chemistry between them and it’s never once failed to deliver at least a very good match. Even the Montreal match was at least good before the ending.

They continue the debate over who is stronger which never was answered I don’t think. Heenan, talking about Shawn, says this man is hot. Where’s Becca when I need her? I love how Vince orders the referees around. I wonder if he criticizes them about it later on. They kind of mention that Bret has won the Triple Crown but they don’t call it that. Pedro Morales had already done it so they can’t really say much about Bret.

Bobby goes to some classic insults about Bret’s family, which are likely what he was best at. We’ve been in this chinlock far too long now as Shawn just doesn’t have the variety in his offense to be able to pull off a nearly half hour match like this is. Given another year or two though he easily could, but he just wasn’t there yet. It seems that all he knows are rest holds, which I guess he’s using to just stall for time.

That’s fine I guess, but he needs to do some standard stuff in between them to prevent it from becoming boring. Heenan’s random talk of Razor and Flair is amusing. He played the role perfectly. You can tell Vince just can’t keep up with Heenan on the mic and it’s great to hear. Of course, Vince believed he was ten times the commentator that Gordon Solie was so who cares apparently.

Now that we’re out of the rest holds we’re turning it up a bit and now we’re getting good. Shawn of course gets hit with a sling shot which is one of his standard bumps that always works. Vince mentions that Bret has what a champion is made of. Vince, they’re both champions. Of course that’s not mentioned, so I guess even back then the IC Title was being buried. Dang I love that Russian Leg Sweep that Bret does.

For some reason Vince says what is going on. Well Vinny, it’s called a wrestling match. You might have seen one before but apparently not. The referee gets bumped in the corner but is up about 3 seconds later. I think that was unintentional. There’s just something missing from this match and I can’t put my finger on it. What I guess it is would be that neither of these guys are really huge stars yet.

Yes Bret is world champion, but he’s held it for such a short time that he’s still kind of viewed as a midcard guy. That’s what happened to Eddie during his run with the belt and it’s a hard thing to shake off. It’s a good match, but still there’s just an x factor that isn’t there. I think it’s a combination of Bret not going for the legs and Shawn having no finisher to end things with.

Today he would have the kick that he could hit from nowhere. He it looks like both guys are hoping to hit a rollup or something, and that’s what I think is missing. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes but is out in time for Bret to miss some big move and kind of get crotched. Apparently Bret is running himself too thin and whoever fights him next will beat him.

In the exact same ending to regulation time in the iron man match, Shawn misses a top rope dropkick and Bret gets the Sharpshooter to end this. That’s interesting that they would use the exact same ending sequence for regulation in the Iron Man match. And here comes…Santa Claus? What the heck? Yes, Santa is coming down the aisle, the night before Thanksgiving. What in the world? He puts a Santa hat on Bret’s head as it starts snowing in the arena.

I think I’m in one of X’s trips as this makes zero sense. Maybe it’s not snowing. Vince says it is but I don’t see any of it. Oh there it is. Vince says ho ho ho as we end it. After it ends, Bret is with Santa and he says he wants big and bad opponents for Christmas. That’s kind of cool I guess, but still, WHAT THE HECK?

Rating: A-. The lack of a Shawn finishing move here really hurt things. There was never a moment where you really felt that Shawn could pull it off because even though he sets for the suplex at one point, it’s a freaking belly to back suplex. Why should that be considered special?

It wasn’t and thankfully he changed to the kick…a few years later. Other than that, this was a good match. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth seeing. These guys would go on to have classic after classic, but this one is really forgotten I think.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it’s better than anything that this show has done since the first one, so it gets a passing grade but not by much. This just flat out wasn’t that great. There’s two very good matches in the double main event, but the rest of the show is just above average at best. It was a gamble and it worked, but it didn’t feel like the Survivor Series at all. It worked, but not great like I said. It’s recommended though, but not very strongly at all.

 

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Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This is probably the most famous of all the Summerslams even to this day as we’re not only outside but for the first and only time ever, a regular PPV is being held in England. It’s another double main event tonight with Savage vs. Warrior for Savage’s world title, along with Davey Boy Smith challenging Bret for the Intercontinental Title. This show was originally going to be held in Washington D.C. with Shawn winning the title from Bret in the first ladder match but the change was made very close to the date of the show. Let’s get to it.

Also note that this is on a two day tape delay, which you would NEVER see for a PPV today.

For reasons I’m not quite clear on, nearly every version of this show you can find online has the dark matches included, so you’re getting some bonus stuff tonight.

We open with kids arguing over whether Warrior or Savage sold out to Perfect and Flair. Another kid says British Bulldog is going to win whether he likes it or not.

Heenan puts on a crown and declares himself Sir Bobby, King of England.

Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.

Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.

The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.

Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.

Dark Match: Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango

Shango used to scare me to death. Tito is El Matador so he has the awesome gold jacket. Papa jumps him from behind to take over and hits a splash in the corner to have the bullfighter in trouble. Tito comes back with some clotheslines and a dropkick to send Shango out to the floor. They head back inside where Tito gets two each off a middle rope clothesline and a cross body before hooking a sleeper.

Shango sends him into the buckle to escape as Heenan makes bull jokes about Tito. The voodoo guy keeps up the generic power offense by headbutting Santana down and walking around the ring. Santana avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his comeback but the flying forearm only gets two. Shango pops up and hits a shoulder breaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Shango was all character and no substance in the ring. This is a good example of what most dark matches are like: short, dull and nothing that I’ll remember in about five minutes. Santana was good in this kind of role as he makes everyone look good, although there was only so much he could do with a guy like Shango. Who knew the answer was to make the voodoo guy a pimp?

Dark Match: Tatanka vs. Berzerker

This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.

Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.

Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.

Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.

Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.

Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).

Ric Flair, in ring gear despite not being in action tonight, is happy to be in London. Gene asks him whose dressing room Mr. Perfect is in. “He’s in the dressing room of the winner of course. WOO!” Touche.

Virgil is ready for Nailz tonight.

Virgil vs. Nailz

There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.

Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.

Nailz lays Virgil out with the nightstick post match.

Alfred Hayes can’t find Mr. Perfect, nor can he get into Macho Man’s dressing room.

We recap Shawn vs. Rick Martel. Shawn cost Martel an IC Title shot, so Martel started hitting on Shawn’s manager Sherri. Sherri then started coming out to support Martel, setting up the showdown tonight. However since Sherri thought both guys were handsome, she made the rule that there was to be no hitting in the face.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.

Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.

Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.

They fight up the aisle until suits break them up. Shawn carries Sherri out but Martel knocks him down, dropping Sherri to the floor in the process. Martel picks her up and carries her a few feet but Shawn decks Martel, knocking Sherri to the floor yet again. Martel finally runs out with a bucket of water to wake Sherri up.

The Nasty Boys talk about the world title match for some reason. They ask Jimmy about a title shot but Jimmy Hart, also the manager of Money Inc. is notably anxious, which is hinting at his face turn.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

The Bushwhackers speculate on whose corner Perfect will be in. Gene Okerlund makes some very bad British jokes.

Hayes can’t get into the Warrior’s dressing room either. He tries to barge in and calls Warrior rude for locking the door. Even HEENAN points this out to him.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Repo tries to jump Crush but has no effect and earns himself a gorilla press slam. We head to the floor for a clothesline from Crush before heading back inside for some kicks to Repo’s ribs. Crush pounds on the ribs even more and hits a backbreaker, only to be poked in the eye to break the momentum. Repo hits a belly to back suplex but Crush no sells it and snaps off a belly to belly. A top rope knee drop misses and Repo goes after the knee with some very basic stuff. An elbow drop gets two and Crush easily fights up, catches Repo coming off the top in a powerslam and hooks the Head Vice for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash to make Crush look good. They were this close to making Crush the next big thing in 1993 so seeing him look good here isn’t surprising at all. Repo Man is really impressive as he went from Smash to the new gimmick so smoothly that I didn’t realize it was the same guy until years later.

We recap the world title match which is summed up in one question: who sold out? This was THE story of the summer as everyone was wondering if Savage would sell out to be able to beat the man that ended his career a year earlier or if Warrior sold out to guarantee his second WWF Title. Why both guys would want a manager who wasn’t even managing the world champion is anyone’s guess. Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is great stuff.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

There’s no sign of Perfect or Flair with Warrior. Warrior is also in a singlet here instead of in his usual trunks. There’s no one with Savage either though, meaning we have to wait even longer to find out who sold out. Savage offers a handshake to start but Warrior accuses him of selling out and won’t shake. Scratch that as he does shake but they pull each other together and it’s on.

It’s a feeling out process to start with Savage shoving him away and hitting a knee to the ribs. A clothesline to the back of Warrior’s head puts him down as the fans are booing. Savage goes up top but Warrior punches him in the ribs to break up a double ax handle. A pair of atomic drops puts Randy down and some shoulder blocks do the same. Savage pounds away and hooks a chinlock, only for Warrior to break it up with a jawbreaker.

A bit right hand staggers the champion in the corner and Warrior stomps away for good measure. Warrior hits a clothesline but Savage ducks away, sending Warrior chest first into the buckle. The champion clotheslines him out to the floor for a bit before hitting the top rope ax handle back inside. It has no effect at all though as Warrior starts marching around the ring. Savage elbows him in the face to put him back down though and goes up again, only to dive into a backbreaker for two.

Warrior whips the champion hard into a corner a few times before putting on a bearhug. Instead of hanging onto it though he lets Savage go almost immediately and gets a two count. Another backbreaker gets two but Savage comes back with a small package for two of his own. A neckbreaker puts the challenger down but a delayed cover only gets two for Randy. Warrior comes back with a hard clothesline and starts pounding away on Savage’s weak back.

A suplex puts Savage down for a close two as the fans are getting into these near falls. Warrior charges at Savage but falls out to the floor by mistake. Randy goes up and drops yet another double ax onto Warrior’s back before sending him into the steps for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Savage but Warrior slams him down. Here are Flair and Perfect to ringside as Warrior’s splash hits knees.

Savage and Warrior clothesline each other down which gets two each for both guys. Randy is up first but Perfect trips him down, signaling that Warrior is the sellout. Back up and Warrior punches him down before choking Savage into the corner. Warrior throws Savage into the corner again but the referee is bumped in the process. A slam puts Savage down and Warrior goes up top for a right hand to the head, although there’s no referee.

The referee finally comes over to count the two and Warrior is visibly frustrated. Back up and Savage hits a knee to send Warrior into the referee again before hitting a piledriver on the Ultimate one. There’s no referee again though so Savage goes to check on him. As Randy is out on the floor, Flair and Perfect take out Warrior behind Savage’s back. Randy drops the big elbow but the referee isn’t there in time for a count. Flair and Perfect are huddling on the floor.

Warrior starts his comeback with Savage pounding away on his back but to no effect. He runs over Savage with clotheslines and the flying shoulder block before loading up the gorilla press. Savage is in big trouble but as Warrior sets up the splash, Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Note that Savage didn’t see what Flair did.

Savage doesn’t know what to do now but he realizes Flair and Perfect did something. The champion goes up top but he isn’t sure. Instead of dropping the elbow though he dives at Flair, but gets knocked out of the air by a chair shot, injuring Savage’s knee in the process. Savage is counted out but retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was another really good match between the two and a great rematch from their first classic a year and a half earlier at Wrestlemania 7. The idea of having someone turn was a great incentive to watch the show, and having neither guy do the turn was the right move. The ending of the match is important soon after this.

Post match Flair puts Savage in the Figure Four with Perfect adding in more shots to the leg. Warrior finally saves Savage with a chair and helps him to his feet.

The official attendance is announced.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala was Undertaker’s Monster of the Month at this point and is managed by Harvey Whippelman. Undertaker rides to the ring on the back of a hearse to kill even more time. Taker fires off uppercuts to start and chokes away in the corner before avoiding a charging Ugandan. Harvey breaks up Old School but Kamala can’t hurt Taker at all. He clotheslines the dead man to the floor but Taker no sells everything Kamala throws at him. Back inside and Taker easily chokeslams him down and hits the Tombstone but Kamala’s other manager Kim Chee comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as it was setting up the coffin match at Survivor Series. This was during the bad period for Undertaker as he fought a bunch of monsters with no particular rhyme or reason. Kamala was nothing special and spent most of his career trying to be intimidating but getting destroyed every time.

Post match Kim Chee helps Kamala lay Undertaker out and the big man hits a top rope splash to Undertaker, but the Dead Man pops up a few seconds later.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker happened here.

British Bulldog talks about fighting hard for two years to reach this point. Yes Bret is the Champion and his brother in law but when they get in the ring together, Bret is a stranger to him. He hopes the families reunite after the match but he’ll be the champion.

Bret says that Davey might not know him but he can look Bret in the eye and see the man that got Smith his start in the company. This is a total heel promo from Bret, which is the right move given where they are tonight. Tonight, Smith’s dream becomes a nightmare.

Here are some Highlanders playing the bagpipes. Their featured performer: Roddy Piper of course.

Diana Hart-Smith, Bret’s sister and Davey’s wife, will be neutral tonight. She just wants them to get along after the match.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.

Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.

An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.

The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.

They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.

Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.

Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.

Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole rating. The thing to remember is this show is less than three hours (not counting dark matches which I don’t count towards the show’s rating) and nearly an hour of that is spent on two great matches. The rest of the bad stuff is pretty short and the two main events more than make up for it. This is easily the best Summerslam so far and one of the best ever. Check this out if you’ve somehow never seen it.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

Redo: C+

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

Redo: D

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

Redo: F

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: B+

I was WAY too nice to this show the first time. It’s great but it’s not THAT great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/26/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1992-a-tape-delayed-ppv-yes-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam Spectacular 1993
Date: August 22, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a special used to hype up Summerslam and since the 1993 edition is the kind of show that needs all the help it can get. The big match here is the Steiner Brothers defending the Tag Team Titles against Money Inc. inside a cage, which has a good bit of potential. Let’s get to it.

Jim Ross welcomes us to the show and runs down the card.

Yokozuna vs. Jim Duggan

Yokozuna’s WWF Title isn’t on the line and Jim Cornette is not in his corner for some reason. Instead it’s just Mr. Fuji, which is quite the downgrade. Duggan is in his weird singlet phase here and it never looks right. We see a quick shot of Duggan holding his newborn daughter as commentary is already talking about Lex Luger. Duggan jumps him from behind to start and hammers away but the referee takes the 2×4 away, allowing Yokozuna to superkick him down.

Yokozuna chokes away and sends Duggan outside, meaning Duggan’s eyes bug out as they had a tendency to do. That doesn’t seem to bother Yokozuna as he knocks Duggan down and drops the huge leg. Duggan gets caught in a bearhug and we take a break. Back with Duggan biting his way out of the bearhug so Yokozuna chokes away in the corner again. Yokozuna misses a charge though and Duggan slugs away before finally dropping the monster with a clothesline. The three point clothesline is loaded up but Fuji grabs the leg, allowing Yokozuna to get in a shot from behind. The Banzai Drop finishes Duggan at 12:01.

Rating: D+. This was mostly a squash until the ending, when it was almost literally a squash. Yokozuna was on an absolutely amazing roll at this point and having him destroy Duggan was a great way to go. Duggan is someone who can be sacrificed for America because it is a story that works so well. This was Duggan’s last match with the company for over ten years, but

Post match Yokozuna is a bit tired so Cornette pops up to yell about how Luger is going to beg Cornette and Fuji to call Yokozuna off at Summerslam. Cornette was bringing the fire as only he can here.

Video on Ted DiBiase trying to humiliate Razor Ramon with money, causing some bad results. DiBiase wanted to beat up 1-2-3 Kid to make things better but got pinned in a major upset.

Razor Ramon vs. Blake Beverly

Blake talks trash and gets a toothpick in the face so Blake slaps him in the face. The threat of a right hand sends Blake outside before coming back in for a headlock. Blake pulls the hair but Ramon pulls his a lot harder to escape. The punches into the discus punch rock Blake but he gets in a shot of his own to put Ramon on the floor.

Blake takes off the turnbuckle pad and whips Ramon hard into the steel as this is WAY more competitive than I would have bet on/it should be. A powerslam gives Blake two and he clotheslines Ramon right back down. Ramon whips him into the exposed buckle though and finishes with the Razor’s Edge at 6:17.

Rating: D+. Am I missing something or was this more about Blake than Ramon? I’m not sure why you would want to push half of a low level TV guy but this was a rather strange time for the company. I don’t know what they were going for here but it really did not do much good for Ramon, who is a bit of a bigger star than Blake Beverly (now Beau would have made sense but not Blake).

We look at Lex Luger getting off of the Lex Express and meeting some fans.

Jerry Lawler is in a pink Cadillac with an Elvis impersonator who insists that he is the real one. He was having dinner with JFK the other day and talking about how bad things were, which Lawler says is the same as people like Bret Hart taking a shortcut. It’s time to go for a drive.

Bret Hart is sick of Lawler talking about his family and he doesn’t even want his parents at Summerslam to see this beating.

Smoking Gunns/Tatanka vs. Reno Riggins/Barry Horowitz/Brooklyn Brawler

Billy knees Riggins down to start and Bart comes in to crank on Brawler’s arm. Tatanka comes in to crank on the arm as well but Billy comes back in to suplex Riggins down for two. Horowitz gets his own turn and snapmares Billy into a knee drop as we actually have a face in peril here. Riggins and Horowitz take turns on Billy in the corner before Brawler rakes the eyes over the top rope. Billy forearms his way to freedom and brings Tatanka back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high crossbody finishes Riggins at 5:03.

Rating: C. Another nothing to see match here which has been the case all show long so far. The Gunns and Tatanka are warming up for a six man against Bam Bam Bigelow and the Headshrinkers but I’m not sure how much of a success this really was. It didn’t go as long, but Billy was beaten down for a good chunk of the match and that isn’t the most inspiring match.

More of Luger and the fans.

Undertaker comes out to talk about how Giant Gonzalez’s day of reckoning is at hand. He may have no Paul Bearer or Urn but he has the Creatures Of The Night. As for what a Rest In Peace match is, it involves him pulling out Gonzalez’s organs to take his soul. I’ll let you get your mind around that as Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Wippleman come out, tell Undertaker he’ll lose, and then leave.

Luger, fans, again.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bob Backlund

Shawn is defending and commentary continues their eternal hype of Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect at Summerslam (that went on FOREVER and there was no way they could have lived up to the hype). Shawn takes him down to start and gets in a slam before chilling on the top rope. Backlund is back up with a rather delayed slam into a backslide for two and Shawn needs a breather on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Shawn hammering away on Backlund for two and grabbing a front facelock. The comeback is on and there’s the big atomic drop but Diesel grabs the referee. Shawn uses the distraction to grab a small package with trunks for the pin at 9:54.

Rating: C-. Backlund was still in his aww shucks period here and Shawn was still on his way to greatness so they weren’t ready for a really good one yet. Also, this was hardly even a competitive match as Shawn dominated for the most part before cheating to win. These two could do something good under better circumstances, but they didn’t have those here.

We get a sitdown interview with Lex Luger, who talks about being an athletic kid growing up but then he started seriously training and learning and here he is today. The lesson is to keep working at things and eventually you can get to your goals. He wants to be an inspiration to everyone so don’t believe you can’t do something. Lex Luger is telling you to believe you can do anything. They really just had him say that.

Ludvig Borga is ready to destroy Marty Jannetty at Summerslam and wants to destroy everyone here.

Marty Jannetty vs. Duane Gill

Jannetty starts fast by cranking on the arm and takes him down into an armbar. A superkick sets up a backdrop and we hit the chinlock. Gill fights up and catches him on the top, only to get caught in a front flip faceplant (reverse Blockbuster). The top rope fist drop finishes Gill at 3:21.

Rating: D+. Now this felt like a bit of a warmup match and that is not something we have seen much of tonight. I’m not sure how much value there is in having Borga beat Jannetty but he is going to need something in there. Jannetty was still warm from winning the Intercontinental Title earlier in the year so Borga gets something out of it, but this wasn’t a great one.

We go to the Summerslam Control Center where Gene Okerlund runs down the card. I miss this kind of thing and it could still work today.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.

The Steiners are defending in a cage with escape only. The Steiners go after DiBiase to start but IRS’s quick escape attempt is broken up without much effort. Money Inc. cuts off the champs as well so DiBiase goes up, only to get pulled down by the tights (I think you know what happens as a result). With the Steiners down, IRS goes up but Scott catches him and goes over the top, only to have DiBiase suplex him back in. Scott gets knocked down again and Rick’s escape attempt is cut off as well. The Steiners are right back with some shots to the face and go up, only to get pulled back in a hurry.

We take a break and come back with Rick suplexing IRS off of the cage and Scott sending DiBiase face first into the cage. DiBiase and Scott fight on the top but they switch places with DiBiase pulling Rick down, turning him upside down in the process for a cool visual. IRS gets whipped hard into the corner but Scott has to pull him down into an electric chair.

Some rams into the cage allow IRS and Scott to climb out at the same time but IRS comes back in to jump Rick. Scott isn’t about to be one upped and comes off the top of the cage with an ax handle to IRS’s head. DiBiase pulls Rick back down by the headgear and we take another back. Back again with Scott on the floor, leaving Rick down 2-1. Scott comes back in for the second time and watches IRS climb out again as Rick catches DiBiase on top again.

DiBiase winds up hanging by his feet from the cage but Rick isn’t smart enough to take the win. Even Gorilla isn’t sure why they would do something so stupid so both Steiners go up at once. That brings IRS back in (this cage isn’t much of a deterrent) for another save but Rick gets up over the top…..and comes back in to help Scott AGAIN. Rick gets out again and IRS tries to escape as well but Rick catches him on his shoulders. DiBiase escapes and hammers away but Scott gets out to retain at 25:00.

Rating: B. There were some weird moments in the thinking there but they didn’t stop with the violence and brawling, which is the idea of a cage match like this. Above all else, this was definitely different and I like that quite a bit. This would be it for Money Inc., making me wonder why this wasn’t on the pay per view instead, because it would have been better than almost anything else on the show.

Men on a Mission and Rapping Randy (Savage) sing some Lex Luger praises to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event more than carries this and while the show felt like a glorified Raw (which it pretty much was), it felt like something special. It didn’t exactly make me want to see the pay per view, but it had a great main event and covered every match on the show. That’s a lot better than most commercials and I’ll take that every single time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Call the Hotline!

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

Ad for King of the Ring.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Call the Hotline!

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,981
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Jim Ross debuts on WWF TV for the first time ever in a surprise jump from the other company. Granted it was about a year or so since JR was last seen but it was still surprising.

Cesar and Cleopatra are introduced to the crowd.

Randy Savage comes out on a sedan with the vestal virgins. Bobby Heenan is brought out riding a camel backwards, which he claims was supposed to be the sedan. Funny bit here.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Luna lays out Sherri while Tatanka celebrates not winning the title.

The Steiners are ready for the Headshrinkers.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

This should be solid stuff. The Shrinkers are Samu and Fatu (Rikishi) here. Historic moment: JR calls this match a slobberknocker, unleashing the term on the wrestling world. The Headshrinkers have Afa as their manager, which will be mentioned later. Scott and Fatu start things off and after being shoved by the Samoan, Scott easily takes him down by the legs. A big old Steiner Line flips Fatu inside out but the Headshrinkers take Scott into the corner to work him over.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

That sounds pretty awesome on paper. Anyway, Luger is the Narcissist at this point and comes out with some women in bikinis with thongs, sending Heenan through the roof. Well over the top of the columns at least. Perfect gets a very solid pop here but he would be used sparingly until he left in the fall. They trade headlocks to start and Luger bails to the corner. Now they trade hammerlocks and Luger bails to the ropes again.

Perfect fights out of the corner with right hands but Luger scoops his legs and puts his own feet on the ropes for two. Mr. comes back with a nice sunset flip for two but a quick sleeper attempt is broken up. Back up and they slug it out a bit more with Perfect hitting a backdrop to take over. A slingshot sends Luger into the buckle and a forearm to the head gets two. Perfect hits a clothesline and neckbreaker for two each, as does a kind of missile dropkick. Luger wins the fight over a backslide and even though Perfect gets his feet in the ropes, Luger gets the pin anyway.

Luger knocks him out post match and leaves. Perfect finally staggers after him and the fight starts again, until Shawn Michaels helps beat up Perfect.

Savage yells at Heenan for supporting Luger too much.

Gorilla Monsoon talks about the remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Rating: D-. Gonzalez was AWFUL which really hurt things a lot. The main issue Undertaker had at this point was no one had any idea what to do with him. They just had him fight monsters for years on end which you can only watch for so long. This story would be reused about 12 years later with Undertaker playing Undertaker, Daivari playing Wippleman and Great Khali playing Gonzalez.

Referees check on the unconscious Undertaker as Gonzalez chokeslams a referee. The fans chant for Hogan but a gong goes off and Taker staggers out to beat up the monster.

We recap Jim Duggan being destroyed by Yokozuna. The fat man did the same to Bret Hart as well, setting up this match. In the back, Hogan says he wants the first title shot against either Hart of the Jap. His words, not mine.

Todd Pettingill continues to annoy fans.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Hogan runs out to check out Hart, so Mr. Fuji issues a challenge to Hogan for a title match RIGHT NOW. Bret tells Hogan to go get him and the fight is on.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji misses a salt through, clothesline, legdrop, new champion.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

Redo: D+

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

Redo: D

I actually liked it better this time. Man alive I must have been in a bad mood for the first one.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 9
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is considered to be one of the weakest Wrestlemanias in history and I think that’s an accurate statement. Looking at the announced card, which was only eight matches long, I only see 2-3 that I would put on a Wrestlemania. Your main event for this evening is Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna, which is ok, but just doesn’t scream WM main event to me.

What amazes me the most about it though was this show was so packed they had to cancel one of the matches: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Kamala. The theme of the show is the world’s largest toga (toga, toga, toga) party. Why does this scream BAD IDEA to me? Seriously, what’s the point behind this? It made the show seem stupid overall, but that’s just me. Anyway, let’s get started.

Our show opens with no National Anthem or America the Beautiful. What a crock already. After that, we see Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. God help me. He is our host for the evening, whatever that means. He welcomes us to the show, and throws it over to….Jim Ross? This was Ross’ debut and I vividly remember being stunned to see him in the WWF as he had been the commentator for WCW my entire life.

Ross runs down the double main event of Hogan and Beefcake vs. Money Inc. for the tag belts and the already mentioned WWF Title match. He throws it to Finkus Maximus, which is something even I couldn’t make up, who introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant, which Ross gives us a history lesson on. Macho Man is then introduced riding a sedan which is like a couch that’s carried as beautiful women feed him grapes.

Then in one of the funniest scenes in WWF history, Bobby Heenan comes in on a camel, but for some reason he’s riding it backwards. He gets to the broadcast position and is a mess, which is kind of funny. Finally, after almost 10 minutes of intros, it’s time for a match.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Michaels had dumped Sherri since last year but now is accompanied by Luna Vachon, who is proof that not all divas are hot. Tatanka is out next and he has never lost a one on one match. Sherri follows Tatanka out, yet it’s made clear she’s not with him. So they have stalkers now. Hey they match! Tatanka had pinned Shawn twice leading up to this match, once in a singles match and once in a 6 man.

Some of Savage’s comments to Heenan, such as shut up camel breath are just funny to me. There’s the first bell, eleven minutes into the show. The outside look is really cool here. They feel each other out at a rather fast pace to start. Top wristlock goes to Shawn and he follows it up with a headlock. Down to the mat with Shawn totally in control.

Tatanka gets a belly to back to escape and a SWEET counter of a top rope clothesline with an arm drag. Shawn to the floor and the girls have a staredown of awkward proportions. Back in and the stereotype works over Shawn’s arm which is apparently hurt coming into this one. Shawn hits a clothesline but it hurts him even further so it wasn’t worth it at all. Anytime Shawn gets something going he hurts his arm again, this time ramming it into the post.

Bobby: She (Luna) is something. Ross: Yeah what is she? Tatanka gets a shoulder breaker out of nowhere but drops an elbow instead of covering. Top rope chop but still no cover. He goes up again and jumps down into what we would call Sweet Chin Music. Today that would kill a guy and be on a highlight reel for years but here it’s just a momentum changer. Luna and Sherri do nothing of note again during a staredown.

Clothesline from the apron to the floor takes down Tatanka. Shawn yells at Sherri and gets a chinlock for awhile. Modified victory roll gets two as this is getting a lot of time. Another victory roll is countered into an electric chair drop to put both guys down again. Double axe by Shawn gets nothing as Tatanka stereotypes up.

Superkick is blocked and Tatanka gets a top rope cross body for a long two. Slingshot puts Shawn into the post and gets a very close two. Powerslam gets an even closer two. This is getting really good now and Tatanka is sent to the floor. Shawn shoves the referee and Tatanka gets the Papoose to Go for the CHEAP DQ! Dang it that was good stuff and got nearly 20 minutes.

Rating: B+. Very solid match that got the time it needed. If it had a real ending, this would be an automatic A. Tatanka was something interesting. He didn’t lose for his first two years which is an amazing streak, longer than even Goldberg’s. Shawn wasn’t quite up to the level of awesome he would reach but it was coming soon. He benefited a lot from the advent of Raw as it gave him a bigger way to get noticed and to put it mildly, it worked. Well that and Razor Ramon plus a ladder.

Luna beats up Sherri post match.

The Steiners say they’re going to beat the Headshrinkers.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiners

Pretty random tag match here but it works ok I guess. It’s your standard face team vs. heel team so that’s fine. We get the first use of JR’s code saying it’s going to be a slobberknocker, meaning it’s going to be awful from a wrestling standpoint. I was always a Headshrinkers mark for some reason, just always liked them.

Scott and Fatu start us off. Steiners control early on which is expected. Oh I forgot to mention: Fatu of the Headshrinkers is more commonly known as Rikishi. In a NICE looking move, Scott and Rick both go up the same corner and hits stereo clotheslines on the Headshrinkers. Nice one indeed. We get breaking news that Luna attacked Sherri again, and somehow, I’m more interested in the match at hand. What a stunner.

Afa rams his guys’ heads together to wake them up a bit. The referee is Bill Alfonso, who you might know as Fonzie from ECW. He was RVD’s overly hyper manager. Samu gets a splash in the corner and Rick just drills him with a clothesline. Afa blasts Scott with what would become known as a kendo stick. Savage gets upset, Heenan doesn’t see the Headshrinkers cheating which is one of his trademarks.

Heenan says he can’t see right with sunglasses on and JR says he saw it too. Heenan says JR is wrong because he’s from Oklahoma. JR’s reaction is priceless. Out to the floor for more pounding on White Thunder. Scott slams one of their heads into the mat and gets kicked in the jaw with a sweet kick for it.

Heenan says his head is like Prudential. Savage: I don’t know what that means. Bobby: It means the rock is hard. Savage: I didn’t ask you Heenan. The commentary for this match is light years ahead of the match itself. Samu gets a dropkick to show off a bit. Off to the nerve hold now, a Samoan trademark. Heenan says Oklahoma is a suburb of Kentucky, which offends JR for some reason.

Samu goes up but misses the big headbutt and there’s the tag to Rick and an eruption. He rams their heads together which is of course, STUPID. Dude learn your stereotypes. Headshrinkers hit a double team version of the move we call the Stroke, leading to one Headshrinker putting Rick on their shoulders for what we would call a Doomsday Device. In a freaking SWEET counter, Rick catches Fatu in the air from on top of Samu’s shoulders in a belly to belly suplex. Looked just absolutely sick.

Back to Scott who nearly kills Fatu with a belly to belly overhead. Scott suddenly remembers he’s better than Rikishi and hits a Frankensteiner, which might be the most impressive move that anyone has ever regularly done, to get the pin. It’s a standing hurricanrana by a guy of Scott Steiner’s size. Think about that.

Rating: B+. I liked this match a lot. Both teams are very solid and some of the stuff they did in this match was simply great. Top level stuff here which surprises me greatly. The Steiners are just scary good when they’re on their game and this is no exception. That powerslam/suplex spot by Rick is absolutely amazing.

Doink the Clown is a screwed up individual. He dresses up a Caesar statue in clown makeup and we get a recap of Doink vs. Crush. Doink also says Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush had one of the best looks of anyone I’d seen from this era. He seriously could have been something special if he’d cared even a little bit at all. He was a decent wrestler with good size and power. I’ve never gotten why he didn’t pan out. Definitely a solid face challenger if nothing else. At about 6’6 and over 300lbs, he was quick and very strong. What’s not to like here?

Doink runs around the ring to start but gets caught by the big Hawaiian that I think Savage wants to make sweet love to down by the pond. Crush beats the holy goodness out of Doink for the majority of the match with basic power stuff. His finishing move was a head crushing move which was always kind of odd but it worked I guess.

The clown gets a guillotine clothesline and starts a comeback here, but it doesn’t mean much. In case I wasn’t clear here, Crush is the face in this match. A pretty weak looking Piledriver keeps Crush down for a bit and then he’s sent into the post. Doink jumps into a boot though and here comes the big man.

Doink tries to hide under the ring but gets caught. Back in the ring, Crush uses his head vice finisher on Doink but the ref got bumped. Another Doink comes out and hits Crush in the back with a cast then in the head. This leads to a pin for the real Doink. They check under the ring, where the other Doink came from and went to. They check and no Doink.

Rating: D. A Squash leading to a bad ending means not a good match. This feud went nowhere for the most part and I think it went on until at least the King of the Ring. Crush would soon start a big push which stalled like no other for some reason. Still though, this was really bad.

Todd Pettingil talks to some Japanese fans and after the WWF makes bad racial jokes, Razor Ramon is headed to the ring.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

It’s total filler with no backstory but it’s Backlund in his first Mania match which is impressive since he’s in his early to mid 40s. Razor is the heel here but to put it mildly, he’s very popular. And yet Backlund would be the next guy to win the world title.

Backlund offers a handshake to start but Razor throws a toothpick instead. This is before he had gone insane if you didn’t get that. BIG Razor chant starts up and of course isn’t acknowledged. Backlund keeps tripping him up and does his stupid little dance. I never got the point of that at all but he always did it.

Razor stomps away after a slam. Bret Hart was knocked out cold by Luger at the Mania brunch today. This wasn’t ever addressed after this for some reason. Backlund gets a butterfly suplex which was kind of impressive. Atomic drop, his former finisher, gets no cover. In a great ending, Razor gets a small package out of nowhere to end it. Heenan gets in a great line: he beat the wrestler with a wrestling move.

Rating: C-. Not great but not awful, the ending gives this a decent grade. It’s not terrible and the ending surprised me. Razor had debuted just after Mania 8 and was pushed to the moon. He even got a title shot at the Rumble this year in a forgotten match. The breaking news during this match of Bret being knocked out earlier in the day leads to nothing. The last line of he beat the wrestler with wrestling was great.

In the back we see Gene with Money Inc. The feud they’re involved in at the moment began on a Monday Night Raw (The first Mania that can be said at as the show debuted about 3 months prior to this) when DiBiase tried to hit Beefcake with a briefcase.

Beefcake had been legitimately huge in a parasailing accident over a year ago and his face was badly injured. This led to a great Heenan line of, “It serves him right. His face has hurt me for years.” This attack led to Beefcake getting his friend Hulk Hogan to return to help him.

Also Jimmy Hart jumped from Money Inc to Hogan and Beefcake. Lastly, the night before the show, Hogan was injured, resulting in huge bruises around his eye. Now what really happened to him?

According to the storyline, DiBiase hired a bunch of people to attack him. The WWF said he was hurt in a jetski accident. The common theory in wrestling circles though is Savage thought Hogan and Liz (his real wife) were having an affair and beat the tar out of Hogan. Believe what you will.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake

We get red smoke and Heenan says that can only mean one person. Then Jimmy Hart walks out. Just made me chuckle a bit. This is Hogan’s first match in a year and the pop kind of sucks. It’s big, but not mind blowing. The heels jump the heroes before the bell but Hogan and Beefcake fight them off with the music playing which always makes me mark out like crazy. There’s just something sweet about that.

We get to the real match which is actually quite good. I think just about everyone expected Hogan and Beefcake to somehow take the belts here. Money Inc. had absolutely dominated the tag division for over a year at this point so they were seen as very legit. The champions stall forever to get us started. That’s about what you would expect no?

Hogan’s eye looks terrible. IRS vs. Beefcake start us off. The champions beat him down and tag in and out but for some reason they don’t go after the face that much at all. IRS tries to hit him in the face like a very stupid man indeed. Beefcake takes over and off to Hogan who gets ten punches in the corner on the Million Dollar Man. It’s about five years too late but I guess it’s better than nothing.

More fast tagging by the challengers and Hogan gets a double axe off the middle rope to DiBiase who is getting destroyed here. They clear the ring again as this is one sided after a few minutes of the champions winning early on. The champions try to leave and we get the ten count thing like we did last year I think. Scratch that as it was at Summerslam.

Hogan vs. DiBiase again. Good old fashioned cheating has Money Inc right back in control though. Hogan does what he does best: gets his ass kicked. LONG Million Dollar Dream puts him down but he shakes his finger to get back up. He must be in that thing for two minutes or so. Beefcake comes in to put a sleeper on DiBiase to drive Heenan crazy.

Why does everything seem to go into slow motion during a Hogan match? It takes like a minute and a half to get the hot tag to Beefcake. IRS comes in as well and a cheap shot gives the champions the advantage again. Beefcake’s protective mask gets ripped off and his face gets beaten into oblivion which is always a good thing. Love him or hate him, the guy bumps like a master.

Beefcake finally gets a sleeper on IRS but DiBiase breaks it up causing the ref to go down. Hogan comes in and cleans house leading to a double cover. Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out, which just happens to be black and white striped in the biggest coincidence of ALL time (you have to say ALL time at any WM. It’s the law) and apparently they think that’s good enough to make him a referee.

Some pest of a referee comes out and ruins our celebration saying that there’s a DQ as Hogan used Beefcake’s metal mask to knock out Money Inc. Jimmy Hart beats up the other referee and we get Hogan’s music. Post match, Hogan poses and they steal IRS’ briefcase, which contains a brick and money.

Supposedly the brick caused it to hurt a lot worse, because of course hitting someone WITH A SOLID METAL BRIEFCASE didn’t hurt enough. There’s also money in it which Hogan gives to the fans. This literally goes on well over 5 minutes.

Rating: C+. This is a good tag match which is absolutely stunning in its own right. Hogan put on a great performance here as did Brutus. Money Inc was as great as ever and it boils down to a solid match. The main thing killing it was the ending. I mean REALLY?

Hogan hits has Jimmy get the pin and he celebrates? Dude, come the heck on now.It was really the best option, but I still hate it. This match works for one simple reason: it’s nearly 20 minutes long. Both faces get beaten down and we get a double comeback. There’s very little missing from it actually.

Mr. Perfect says he’ll break Luger’s winning streak.

Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger

The main perk here is Luger’s entrance with four chicks holding mirrors in gold thongs. Not bad at all. This sounds awesome on paper if nothing else. Luger has knocked out everyone he’s faced so far with the metal plate in his forearm. They fight over a wristlock to start and it’s a standoff. Big shot by Perfect and a knee lift sets up a dropkick and Luger hits the floor.

We talk about baseball as Heenan tries to explain the whole knockout thing and he says Savage knows a thing or two about baseball. That’s very true as he played in some minor leagues for White Sox, Reds and Cardinals organizations. Quite an athlete indeed. Perfect works on the knee which is smart as he can’t get knocked out from there.

LOUD chop by Perfect as he has controlled for the vast majority so far. As is my custom he gets reversed on a hard whip into the corner to give Luger the control. He gets a shot with the loaded arm into the back of Perfect to really take over. Backbreaker puts Perfect down even longer.

Perfect can’t keep anything going and Luger gets a cover with his feet on the ropes for two which Heenan blasts to no end. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip gets two for Perfect and then hooks a sleeper for all of 2 seconds. Perfect keeps getting pin attempts but can’t get more than two on them. A slingshot puts luger into the buckle for two.

Missile dropkick gets a long two as Luger gets his foot on the rope. No heat at all on that either. They fight over a backslide and Luger leans forward enough to put Perfect’s feet in the ropes so that he can’t kick out for the pin. Post match Luger knocks him out with the forearm.

Rating: C-. Long and at least passable, but I couldn’t stand Luger’s gimmick at the time. The forearm was just a dumb way to end every single match and this is no exception. This was ok but it was really spotty at times and it never got into a flow at all. I’ve seen worse though.

Perfect goes looking for Luger. And for once he finds him and the fight is on again. Shawn jumps Perfect, starting their summer long feud.

Gorilla pops up for no reason at all other than to tell us what two matches are left.

We recap Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales. Undertaker feuded with Kamala in the fall and beat him. Harvey Whippleman, Kamala’s manager said he would get revenge, so at the Royal Rumble he brought out Gonzalez, who boardered on 7’8. He beat the tar out of Taker and eliminated him, leading to this match.

The feud doesn’t end here as it would finally be settled at the Survivor Series in a Rest in Peace match, which meant No DQ. In case you’re wondering where you’ve heard this story before, it’s THE EXACT same thing that happened with Muhammad Hassan, which led to Mark Henry who combined to play the role of Kamala and then the Great Khali as Gonzalez.

They had a manager that wanted revenge on Taker, then Taker got beaten up by them, then won a no rules match. That’s why old fans didn’t like the Taker/Khali feud: we knew exactly what was coming and we were exactly right.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is the first Wrestlemania entrance for Undertaker where he’s brought out in a chariot with a vulture on his shoulder which was REALLY cool for its time and is still awesome today. This should sum up how big Gonzalez was: Taker is a big old dude and he comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Clubbing blows get him nowhere and here comes Taker.

Gonzalez chokes Taker who gets on the second rope to choke back but gets a low blow for his trouble down in his little demons. A low blow is no sold and we go to School (In 1993 the School wasn’t old yet). This was in that really weird period that stretched to about 1996 when Foley got there where they had no idea what to do with Undertaker so they just had him fight giants.

Giant chokes Taker down until the Urn goes up into the air. Taker goes into the steps on the floor as it’s ALL Gonzalez. Heenan proclaims him dead and almost has a heart attack when Taker is like boy I’m the Undertaker and just stands up and keeps beating on Gonzalez. Taker beats him down before Harvey throws in a cloth covered in chloroform which puts Taker down but it’s a DQ anyway. Yep this is bad.

Rating: F+. The match itself was just bad as there was one simple flaw: Gonzalez was just terrible. He was too big to be able to properly do anything in the ring and it showed badly here. It’s the only thing close to a blemish on Taker’s Mania record and that’s a shame. The idea that the commentators could smell a small rag in an open area like that is ludicrous to say the least, especially after all of 5 seconds of it being out.

Taker stays down for a long time with Gonzalez standing over him in triumph. They stretcher him out which isn’t something you see every day. The fans chant for Hogan for a bit, but then a gong rings. Today that would blow the roof off the place (despite there being no roof here) but here it only gets a solid pop. He staggers out and beats the fur off of Gonzalez which makes me wonder: WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY DO THE DQ ENDING???

Gene recaps the feud with Hart and Yoko, and then Hulk Hogan makes sure he has the spotlight at the end of the show as he has to talk about how he’s in Bret’s corner. Oh and he calls Yokozuna a Jap.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko wins this shot based on winning the Rumble. When you look back, there was absolutely no doubt who was going to win here. The idea is that Bret has no chance and they’ve spent the entire show telling us that Bret has no chance. Guess what happens in the match.

The problem with this match is very simple: Yoko is too fat for Bret to do much with. Bret’s offense is completely unbelievable here and that’s not a knock on him as no one for the most part could do much against Yoko. That’s also not a knock on Yoko as he was a decent big man (bring it on Irish).

Bret is sent to the floor after a nice attack to start but it’s clear he’s going to be in trouble. He ties Yoko’s legs in the ropes and gets him down so he can hammer away. Savage wants him to cover but is corrected by Heenan in a bizarre moment. Clothesline takes Bret down almost as soon as Yoko gets to his feet. Leg drop half kills Bret for no cover. The fans chant USA for their Canadian champion.

Bret gets a boot up for a BIG pop and a bulldog/jump on his back gets two. Side kick puts Bret right back down as this is bordering on a squash so far. Off to the nerve hold now which is basically a way to waste some time, which in a 9 minute match is rather stupid. Oh and all of Bret’s fans are Hulkamaniacs. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants and is ignored. Bret gets in all the offense he can which is more or less getting him nowhere.

FINALLY he gets something as the buckle is exposed and Yoko’s head goes into it, sending him down to his stomach. Bret puts on a shockingly passable sharpshooter and the crowd is shocked. Mr. Fuji then throws salt into Bret’s eyes allowing Yoko to pin him for the title. Now let’s break down why this ending is so bad. Bret gets the sharpshooter on after Yoko shows no sign of his knees being hurt by Bret’s offense on them. I’ll let that go though as it’s a solid move that would hurt enough for a quick submission.

Fuji has done almost nothing all match. Bret sees him right in front of him as he takes FOREVER to get the salt out and throw it. Are you telling me Bret couldn’t have, I don’t know, CLOSED HIS EYES??? The referee sees Bret holding his eyes, sees the cloud from the thrown salt and sees Fuji holding a package of salt and thinks nothing of this, and to top it off, salt in the eyes is enough to knock Bret out for a pin? Come on now.

Rating: D+. The size difference here was too much, the time was bad, and the finish was insulting to my intelligence. The wrestling is ok, but just barely. Bret fights valiantly for the full nine minutes of this match and yes you read that right. That’s the biggest issue most people have with this match and this Wrestlemania. The biggest match was less than 10 minutes long.

BUT WAIT!!!

Hulk Hogan comes out because he can’t handle a *gasp* young and talented guy taking the spotlight or something evil like that, so he explains to Fumbles McWhoops our referee what happened and apparently Fuji has match making abilities now as tells Hogan that Yoko will put the belt on the line right now. Bret points to the ring which apparently means go for it.

Hulk slides in and we’re off to the races one more time. The fans are happy, but looking back this is beyond stupid. WHY would Fuji put the newly won title on the line against the greatest giant killer of all time after Yoko has had no rest while Hogan has rested for about half at least? And people wonder why the business was in so much of a hole as it was around this time.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Yoko attacks Hogan as he slides in then holds him for more salt. Hogan ducks, nails Fuji, clotheslines Yoko, drops the leg and wins his fifth title. No rating of course.

Hogan poses with the title as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F+. This show is truly bad and the main reason behind that is the ending. Hulk Hogan had absolutely no need to come in and steal the spotlight all over again. I don’t care how big of a Hulkamaniac you are, and I’m a huge one, but there is no justification for that whatsoever.

Let Yoko leave with the belt and do this on Raw the next night. Aside from that, the rest of the matches are ok at best. There’s a few watchable matches here and there but there’s no reasoning to sit through the rest of the show for them. Wrestlemania isn’t supposed to be something you need to fast forward through to get to the decent stuff. BIG recommendation to avoid here as this might be the worst WM of all time.

 

 

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