Monday Night Raw – May 9, 2022: Ye Olde Bad Third Hour

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2022
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re done with Wrestlemania Backlash and now it is time to start getting ready for Hell In A Cell. This means that we are likely in for MORE rematches, as WWE continues to get more time out of their one set of ideas. Not much happened last night on the Raw side, but Cody Rhodes’ rise continues. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania Backlash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last night’s main event, with Roman Reigns pinning Riddle so the Bloodline could beat RKBro/Drew McIntyre.

Here is RKBro for a chat. Randy Orton talks about how they came up short last night, but that was just a battle and they will win the war. The original plan was for a Tag Team Title unification match, but Roman Reigns cut that off because he knows the Usos can’t beat RKBro. That’s why they’re going to Smackdown this week and DEMANDING that Reigns allow the match. If Reigns doesn’t say yes, it shows how little he believes in his cousins.

Cue the Street Profits, who are scheduled to challenge RKBro later tonight. They are going to be winning the titles tonight and then unifying them against the Usos because they want the titles and the smoke. Riddle: “RKBro 4:20 says we just smoked your a****”. I think that’s a yes. To a match that was already set.

Tag Team Titles: Street Profits vs. RKBro

RKBro is defending and Ford takes Riddle down early to start, setting up Ford’s version of Randy Orton’s pose. Back up and Riddle tries an armbar, allowing Riddle to mock Orton’s pose for a bonus. It’s off to Dawkins, who gets taken into the corner so Orton can come in. The assisted Floating Bro gets two as Riddle comes back in and sends Dawkins outside. The penalty kick is blocked though and Ford hits the big flipping dive to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Riddle fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken back into the corner to keep him in trouble. Riddle flips out of a suplex though and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house. The hanging DDT plants Dawkins and it’s right back to Riddle, who accidentally dives onto Orton on the floor. Back in and the frog splash gives Ford two on Riddle with Orton making a VERY last second save. Ford goes up again but this time the frog splash is countered into an RKO to give Riddle the pin at 10:15.

Rating: C+. Those RKOs out of nowhere are still great and that was the case for the pin here, as Riddle makes up for mistakenly taken out Orton earlier. This should be enough to set up the Tag Team Title match, likely inside the Cell, in the match that shouldn’t have been initially advertised for last night. Still though, nice enough match here and Orton’s reactions are getting louder and louder.

We get a….my goodness we get an old school platform style interview (platform, edge of the stage, same thing) with Theory. He isn’t worried about defending the US Title against Cody Rhodes later tonight and is the youngest United States Champion for a reason. Is it because every previous champion has been older than him? He is the future and the future is Theory.

Here are Edge (who has hacked his hair off) and company, now including Rhea Ripley, for a chat. Edge talks about how he listened to the fans for years and all it got him is a Hall of Fame ring. He is bigger than the Hall of Fame. You can point at any part of him and he has had surgery on it. Everyone here tries to stand by their principles and then go home like a bunch of keyboard warriors. Edge holds a mirror up to all of them and they see someone ugly and wrong.

Damian Priest says the truth hurts and while he and Edge could destroy everyone’s favorites, but now they have Rhea Ripley by their side. Ripley says this was the easiest decision of her life because she wanted to be like them. She is done signing autographs at the airport and then seeing them sold on eBay.

That brings her to Liv Morgan and tonight it is time for Liv’s destruction. Edge talks about everyone believing that Ripley was holding Liv down and takes credit for slitting Liv and Rhea up. He saw potential in Ripley and wants her to run everything over. This movement isn’t done and they are looking for more….and here is Liv Morgan to interrupt.

Liv Morgan vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley throws her into the corner to start and hits some shoulders to the ribs but Morgan is back with a springboard hurricanrana. That earns her a kick to the chest and some right hands on the mat, setting up the bodyscissors. Liv fights out of the Riptide and kicks away, setting up the springboard Codebreaker for her own two. Ripley knocks her back down and grabs the Prism Trap for the tap at 5:40.

Rating: C-. Hey remember when These two were partners for like a month and then lost their two title shots and then they split up and it was nowhere near as big a deal as WWE presented it as being? Well this was Ripley winning the singles match between the two of them. I don’t think this goes anywhere else, save for having Liv as the designated woman in mixed tags as a group of guys go after Edge N Pals, assuming that has any value.

Post match Edge tells Ripley to put the hold on again so Liv taps again. Cue Finn Balor, with AJ Styles, because it’s his turn now.

Finn Balor vs. Damian Priest

Priest throws him into the corner to start and seems to be rather pleased with himself to start. Some more striking and pounding has Balor in trouble but he comes back with a dropkick to the knee. Some shoulders to the ribs in the corner have Priest in trouble and Balor counters a chokeslam into a rollup for two. There’s the Sling Blade to send Priest outside but Ripley gets in the way of a dive. That allows Edge to come in with the spear on Balor for the DQ at 4:19.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it makes sense to have Edge want to hurt Balor rather than worry about the win or loss. That’s kind of the point of the team and they will likely get to stand tall after a beatdown. I’m expecting a big tag match next month, but that needs to be it for the feud so Edge and company can move on. To what….I’m not sure.

Post match Styles and Styles get beaten down.

Alpha Academy promises Kevin Owens DNA evidence next week that will prove that Ezekiel is Elias. Owens is happy because his brother Ken Owens is here to compete against Ezek…er, Elias.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with MVP hyping up Omos’ win over Bobby Lashley last night. MVP starts to explain what happened to Lashley but here is Cedric Alexander to interrupt. Alexander keeps saying THEY DID IT and seems to think that he’s back in the team. That doesn’t seem likely, but here is Lashley to clean house, though MVP escapes. Cedric springboards into the Hurt Lock to really leave him laying.

Sonya Deville isn’t happy with Adam Pearce’s formal investigation but he promises her quality competition later tonight.

Sonya Deville vs. ???

Before the opponent is announced, here is Pearce to say that as a result of the formal investigation, Sonya is FIRED as an official, but she is still an active star, meaning she is having a match with this person.

Sonya Deville vs. Alexa Bliss

DDT and Twisted Bliss finish Deville at 34 seconds.

We look back at Cody Rhodes beating Seth Rollins last night.

Ezekiel vs. Ken Owens

It’s Kevin in a gray wig, because Ken is his older brother. Ken goes on a big rant about how he can’t stand liars like Elias and how stupid the people are here for buying this. The wig eventually comes off (with Ezekiel giving a funny shocked face) and the fight is on, but Alpha Academy runs in to beat Ezekiel down. No match.

We recap the return of Asuka to interrupt Becky Lynch.

Becky interrupts Asuka in the back and doesn’t get why Asuka is getting a title shot. Not so fast as Asuka has to beat Bianca Belair to get a title shot, which has Becky confused about the idea of beating a champion to get the chance to beat the champion (preach it). Becky talks about handing Asuka her last title but Asuka screams that she didn’t need Becky’s help. Asuka shouts about Becky acting like a baby instead of a mom, causing becky to say that Asuka is the one with the weird green tears on her face as she walks away.

Veer Mahaan vs. Frank Lowman

Lowman has a bit of size to him and says he doesn’t want to get taken out on a stretcher. He has a wife though and three triplets to go with her, so he is doing this for his family. Lowman gets in a shot to start but is taken down by a Thesz press (minus the press). A side slam sets up the Million Dollar Arm. The Cervical Clutch makes Lowman tap. Lowman was one of the better looking jobbers in a long time.

Cody Rhodes is proud of his win over one of the best in the world. Now he is seeing someone with limitless potential like Theory, but you have to dig deep to find that potential. Theory better be ready to dig deep.

US Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Theory

Cody is challenging and they lock up to start. Theory takes him down and strikes a quick pose so Cody hits a forearm to the face. That’s fine with Theory, who snaps the arm across the top rope and scores with a rolling dropkick. A dropkick to the knee cuts Cody off again but he’s right back with a springboard kick to the face. Something off the apron is broken up though and they go to the announcers’ table, which sends Theory running back inside.

We take a break and come back with Cody fighting out of a chinlock and they both hit crossbodies for a double knockdown. A powerslam gives Cody two and a moonsault is good for the same, meaning frustration sets in. Back up and Theory elbows him in the face, setting up the fisherman’s buster onto the knee. Cody isn’t having that and hits the Disaster Kick into the Cody Cutter but Seth Rollins comes in for the DQ at 13:08.

Rating: B-. They were starting to cook a bit near the end, but Rollins’ interference might as well have had a big countdown clock running for the entire match. You knew they were going to go to a third match between those two, probably in the Cell, and now they have a reason. At the same time, I like the idea of using a title match to set up one more fight. Cody gets screwed out of something he wants and Rollins keeps him from getting something he wants. Not a bad way to go.

Post match Seth Stomps Cody onto the announcers’ table and screams about Cody never taking anything else from him again.

Doudrop/Nikki Ash vs. Naomi/Sasha Banks

Non-title. Doudrop headbutts Naomi away to start and sits down on her to break up a sunset flip attempt. The cobra clutch goes on for a bit before a running corner splash crushes Naomi. A step up enziguri gets Naomi out of trouble though and it’s Banks coming in with a high crossbody, which is pulled out of the air for a slam. Nikki tags herself in (Doudrop doesn’t approve) and covers for two but Banks fights up and gets over to Naomi. The Codebreaker/Bubba Bomb combination finishes Nikki at 4:10.

Rating: C-. Anytime WWE wants to drop the Doudrop name and the Ash gimmick, I’m certainly cool with it. These are two talented women who could be doing something and are instead left as little more than losers, especially Nikki with that dead end idea. I could see both of them being released soon too and while that is sad, odds are they aren’t going to get to do anything of note anytime soon.

Post match Doudrop yells at Nikki but Miz, guest referee for the next match, comes out to cut them off.

Mustafa Ali vs. Ciampa

Miz is guest referee and neither of the two of them get an entrance. Ali grabs a rollup for no cover to start so Ciampa runs him over and stomps away. A running knee knocks Ali off the apron and a clothesline on the floor makes it worse. That lets Ciampa sit on the announcers’ table for his pat on the back but Ali rolls him up for….a very delayed one back inside. The chinlock goes on but Ali comes back with a hard clothesline. Ali hits a superkick and a tornado DDT for a VERY delayed two. Ciampa uses the distraction to hit a reverse DDT for the very fast pin at 5:33.

Rating: D+. It’s an idea that you have seen time after time and this happened to be the latest instance. I’m glad Ali is back and a feud with Miz isn’t the worst thing, but Ciampa being little more than a pawn who isn’t given as much as a decent introduction is a sad thing to see. You know, because this show is so flush with interesting talent that they can throw Ciampa out there with nothing behind him.

We get what sounds like a mashup of the Lacey Evans Story. Has she just been traded and we’re supposed to forget last week’s Smackdown?

We look at Bobby Lashley attacking Omos/MVP/Cedric Alexander earlier.

Lashley wants Omos in a cage next week.

Dana Brooke and Tamina have talked to R-Truth about getting divorces, but here are Reggie and Akira Tozawa with flowers and candy. Then R-Truth serves them with divorce papers. Well not so much Tozawa, as he runs away without taking them.

Asuka vs. Bianca Belair

Non-title CHAMPIONS CONTENDER match and Becky Lynch is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Belair flipping over her and telling Asuka to bring it. Belair goes with a leapfrog and runs Asuka over. With Asuka down, Belair loads up the handspring moonsault but Becky pulls her to the floor for a whip into the steps and the DQ at 2:59.

Post match Becky beats Asuka down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show started well and then fell hard, as most of the last hour, plus some more before that, was rather rough. Three disqualifications in nine matches is a lot, but the biggest problem continues to be the lack of a World Title. You have Edge and company as the monsters but with no one to chase, they are only so interesting. Nothing on here feels especially important and it comes off like they’re trying to find a way to get to the next pay per view without having a main story. That can work every now and then, but when it is the feature, there is a big problem.

Results
RKBro b. Street Profits – RKO to Ford
Rhea Ripley b. Liv Morgan – Prism Trap
Finn Balor b. Damian Priest via DQ when Edge interfered
Alexa Bliss b. Sonya Deville – Twisted Bliss
Veer Mahaan b. Frank Lowman – Cervical Clutch
Cody Rhodes b. Theory via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Doudrop/Nikki Ash – Codebreaker/Bubba Bomb combination to Ash
Ciampa b. Mustafa Ali – Reverse DDT with a fast count
Bianca Belair b. Asuka via DQ when Becky Lynch interfered

 

 

 

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Smackdown – May 6, 2022: Do They Know What They’re Doing?

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2022
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania Backlash and that means we need to hype up the six man tag which totally serves some kind of a purpose. I’m not quite sure what that purpose is but I’m sure it’s there. Other than that, it might be time to add one or two more matches to the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Ronda Rousey winning last week’s Beat The Clock challenge.

Charlotte vs. Aliyah

Before the match, Charlotte says Aliyah quit last week and now it is time for her to get rid of Ronda Rousey for good on Sunday. Charlotte wouldn’t be surprised if Rousey left WWE for good after she gives up. As for Aliyah, a single shot takes her down but here is Rousey for the save. The brawl is on with referees and agents (including Jamie Noble, who has McAfee VERY excited) eventually….not actually being able to keep them apart as Rousey charges at her again. They’re finally separated with no match of course.

Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler

Naomi (injured) and Natalya are here too. Banks (in a hairband) starts fast and goes right after the arm but can’t hit the stomp. Baszler gets in a shot of her own though and hits the gutwrench suplex. The stomping is on in the corner to keep Banks in trouble and a side slam takes her down again as we go to a break.

Back with Banks fighting out of an armbar and sending Baszler outside for a ram into the announcers’ table. Back in and Banks gets two off the Meteora as Natalya is losing it on the floor. Banks tries a small package but Baszler reverses into one of her own and grabs the rope (with Natalya helping) for the pin at 8:15.

Rating: C. Remember when Baszler was awesome and looked destined to become the new monster of the women’s division? Well now she needs help winning a match via small package to set up what is probably going to be a loss in a Tag Team Title match. The match was fine enough, but it’s sad to see what has happened to Baszler.

Post match Natalya goes after Naomi as Baszler loads up the Future Endeavored Stomp (McAfee’s words) but Banks fights up and makes the save.

Video on the Bloodline vs. Drew McIntyre/RKBro.

The Usos want RKBro.

RKBro isn’t that impressed with the Usos and are coming for them on Sunday.

It’s time for Happy Talk and we get a recap of Happy Corbin vs. Madcap Moss. Corbin doesn’t think much of Moss, who pops up on screen and mocks Corbin for being a charity case, as he lets tattoo artists try out their bad ideas on him. Corbin tells him to come say this to his face so here is Moss to interrupt. Moss talks about the various versions we have seen of Corbin over the years, but we haven’t seen him ever be entertaining. Remember the Lone Wolf? Well wolves have hair, so maybe Corbin can be the BIG BALD WOLF! That’s enough to make Corbin….walk off without doing anything.

Video on Drew Gulak’s recent attempts at getting various jobs in WWE.

Drew Gulak vs. ???

Gulak is back in the ring against a mystery opponent and it’s…..Gunther. An early armbar has Gulak in trouble and a chop makes it worse. The big boot sets up another chop and there’s the chop in the corner. Gunther grabs the sleeper and it’s a powerbomb for the pin on Gulak at 1:59. Moving Gunther up to slightly better competition is a good move.

We look back at Rick Boogs getting injured at Wrestlemania, plus Roman Reigns taking out Shinsuke Nakamura. I thought I dreamed that.

Nakamura doesn’t like the Bloodline and promises to get a piece of Roman Reigns. Sami Zayn is watching from behind a truck.

Drew McIntyre is ready for Sunday but thinks Roman Reigns needs to get his head kicked off tonight.

Sheamus/Ridge Holland vs. New Day

Tables match. It’s a brawl to start, as you might have guessed, with Woods diving onto Holland on the floor. New Day grabs a table to hit Sheamus in the ribs but setting the table up takes too long. Holland is back up for the save but Woods breaks up a powerbomb through the table. That lets Kofi go onto the post for the HUGE dive off the top to send Sheamus through the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus and Holland both hitting their ten forearms to the chest. Kofi manages an SOS but gets dropped on the apron to cut him off. Woods strikes away at Holland back inside but has to knock Sheamus off the apron. Sheamus pulls Woods off the top to save Holland so Kofi takes Sheamus down with a hue dive. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Kofi has to slip out of an Alabama Slam attempt. With Sheamus on the table, Woods goes up but Butch comes out from under the ring for the save. Woods is put through the table for the win at 12:31.

Rating: C. The best thing here is that I was wondering if they would use the WHERE IS BUTCH thing as a way to release him so this could be worse. The table stuff here felt like such a tacked on stipulation as this feud keeps going for reasons I don’t quite understand. Sheamus and Holland have destroyed New Day over and over but the feud keeps going for some reason.

Post match Butch has to be pulled off of Woods.

Paul Heyman thinks Kayla Braxton is flirting with him and wants to be taken out for pizza in New York. Sami Zayn comes up and asks Braxton to leave so he can talk to Heyman (Heyman: “DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM!”). Sami talks about how Shinsuke Nakamura hasn’t forgotten anything and as a locker room leader, felt Roman Reigns should know. Heyman agrees to tell Reigns, but this might not be trustworthy.

Post break, Zayn asks Adam Pearce for a match with Nakamura next week. Pearce says they can just do it now instead.

It’s time for Chapter 5 of the Lacey Evans Story, as she talks about her father and some family members overdosing before she became a wrestler. Then she decided that she needed to do something with her life. She had her first match in front of her daughter and now she wants to know who can stop her. Soon, she is going to be the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

In the arena, the announcer tells us that Lacey Evans is about to come out here, but wants the proper respect with some applause. Cue Lacey, who celebrates with some fans and then leaves. End of segment.

Video on Raquel Rodriguez.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn

Feeling out process to start until Zayn knocks him into the ropes. A running kick to the chest cuts that off and Nakamura adds a standing version to stagger him. The Kinshasa is countered into a Michinoku Driver to give Zayn two and we take a break. Back with Sami hammering on Nakamura for two and yelling at the official over the count.

Nakamura gets two of his own off a running knee and the cross armbreaker goes on. Zayn is able to stack him up for two so Nakamura hits a kick to the head. They head outside where Zayn tries to run again but Nakamura isn’t letting that happen. Instead Zayn hits a quick Helluva Kick to beats the count back in at 9:12.

Rating: C. This wasn’t quite their Takeover: Dallas classic. I’m not entirely sure why they brought Nakamura back here just to have him lose, though it is nice to FINALLY follow up on that angle from a few weeks ago that went nowhere. Sure it’s a different direction, but I’ll take it over absolutely nothing.

Here are Drew McIntyre and RKBro (who might be combined to become, I kid you not, RK McBro) for a chat. Before they call out the Bloodline, Riddle asks what the other two acknowledge. This includes McIntyre and Orton’s history against each other, and that Orton has muscular legs. Orton says he acknowledges that the sky is blue and the grass is green, with McIntyre saying it’s a joint decision. They call out the Bloodline and get what they want, with the brawl being on. The Bloodline is cleared out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They do want us to watch the pay per view right? As in that was the point of this show. I’m not sure how that is what they were going for here, as this didn’t make me want to watch a six man tag and it certainly didn’t make me want to see Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey again. Maybe it’s because Wrestlemania Backlash feels like one of the most unimportant pay per views in a very long time, but I have no desire to watch the show and this didn’t do it any favors.

Results
Shayna Baszler b. Sasha Banks – Small package
Gunther b. Drew Gulak – Powerbomb
Sheamus/Ridge Holland b. New Day – Woods was put through a table
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura via countout

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – April 22, 2022: What If Next Week Never Comes?

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2022
Location: MVP Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania Backlash and it is time to start adding some things to the card. Roman Reigns still doesn’t have anything to do, though there is still the chance that they pick up whatever they stared with Shinsuke Nakamura two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the contract signing between Charlotte and Ronda Rousey with Adam Pearce in charge. After a recap video of their issues together….there is no contract. Drew Gulak brings it out and has even made a special PowerPoint presentation (it was his thing when he was on 205 Live) about the rules of an I Quit match but Charlotte tells him to shut up. She has been looking forward to this match for a long time and lists off some of the ways she can make Rousey submit.

Charlotte signs and says she beat Rousey at Wrestlemania. Rousey explains the idea, allowing Charlotte to say she won at Wrestlemania. After a few more times saying the same thing, Charlotte turns the table over and pulls out a kendo stick to beat on Rousey (because putting a lead pipe under there would be too simple). That doesn’t work for Rousey, who takes it away and knocks Charlotte to the floor. Rousey grabs Gulak’s arm for the armbar before demanding the contract and a pen. The contract is signed with the armbar still on before Rousey cranks on it a bit more.

We look back at Sheamus/Ridge Holland losing the slightly unhinged Butch, allowing him to beat up New Day.

Xavier Woods vs. Butch

Kofi Kingston, Sheamus and Ridge Holland are at ringside too. Butch knocks him down to start and drops a knee on the arm before twisting away at the wrist. Back up and Butch rips at his face before being knocked outside. A dropkick through the ropes nearly has everyone else getting in a brawl as we take a break. Back with Butch working on the arm again but Woods fights up again. That earns him a kick to the head and the X Plex gives Butch two. Not that it matters as Woods grabs a DDT and Backwoods gives him the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C. Yep, they really are jobbing Butch in back to back matches to get a small package over for the least important singles wrestler in New Day. Somehow that’s their priority when Butch is in the ring rather than getting lost outside of the ring every week. Every time I think they can’t overthink thinks and miss what should be obvious even more, they do something like this.

Post match Butch beats up a security guard and walks off through the crowd.

Aliyah recaps Ricochet’s wins as champion and asks him what’s next. Jinder Mahal and Shanky come up and Shanky gets a title shot, which didn’t seem to be Mahal’s plan.

Teddy Goodz vs. Gunther

Gunther takes him down by the arm to start and avoids a dropkick. The big boot drops Goodz again as Ludwig Kaiser seems very pleased at ringside. Some chops in the corner rock Goodz and it’s the sleeper into the powerbomb to finish for Gunther at 2:10. That’s the kind of dominance it should continue to be.

We recap RKBro vs. the Usos.

Riddle is ready for Jey Uso tonight when Drew McIntyre comes in to say he’s happy with Randy Orton standing up to the Bloodline. Orton says he and McIntyre are good. Everyone leaves but Sami Zayn pops up behind them and seems rather pleased.

Video on Xia Li, as they remember she exists.

Riddle vs. Jey Uso

Their partners are here too. They strike it out to start with Uso getting the better of things with a kick to the face to put him down. Jey stomps on the ribs as commentary recaps the history between Riddle and Orton. They head outside with Riddle being dropped onto the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Jey hitting an enziguri but Riddle fights up anyway and strikes away. The jumping knee sets up the Floating Bro for two, followed by the hanging DDT. Orton beats up Jimmy on the floor and drops him onto the announcers’ table. Jey grabs a pop up neckbreaker for two, with Riddle kicking out in a weird way. Back up and Riddle hits a jumping knee but Jey superkicks him down. The Superfly Splash hits raised knees though and a small package gives Riddle the pin (second small package win in three matches) at 12:21.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here, with Riddle getting to shine on his own a bit. As annoying as it is to have these singles matches to set up the Tag Team Title match, it isn’t like there are any other teams to beat. That makes the unification that much better, though it still seems like there should be ANY other way to set up the showdown.

Here are Naomi and Sasha Banks to brag about how great and close they are. They have no competition so here are Shayna Baszler and Natalya to interrupt. Banks and Naomi didn’t beat them at Wrestlemania, but Naomi calls Natalya a crazy cat lady. The match seems all but official.

Happy Corbin comes up to Madcap Moss and is willing to forgive him, but Moss being his sidekick again has the same odds as Corbin growing a full head of hair.

Video on Raquel Rodriguez.

Madcap Moss vs. Angel

Moss hammers away to start and knocks Angel off of the apron and onto Humberto. On the way back in, Humberto grabs the leg though and Angel gets in a kick to the head. That doesn’t last long as Moss fights up for a quick comeback and grabs the Punchline for the pin at 2:18. Could have been worse.

Post match Happy Corbin comes in and lays Moss out before stealing the Andre the Giant Battle Royal trophy.

Sami Zayn knocks on Roman Reigns’ door.

Post break, Reigns is yelling at the Usos when Zayn comes in. Zayn overheard what Drew McIntyre was saying about the Bloodline and thinks he could be a valuable ally to the team. He acknowledges Reigns but needs Reigns to recognize him. Reigns doesn’t say anything until Zayn leaves, when he tells the Usos to take his name out of McIntyre’s mouth. Leave it to WWE to wait almost a month

It’s time for chapter three of the Lacey Evans story, as she talks about how much worse things got for her drug addicted father. She had to get ready for the prom herself while also being a good amateur wrestler. Then she walked home in the rain and found her dad asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette falling out of his mouth. It made her want something better and drove her to become something better, which she is today.

Here’s the problem with this idea: these stories are sad and it does make you feel for Evans. She went through a nightmare growing up and worked hard to get where she is. Then you realize that she’s a very good looking blonde with an amazing backstory and a military career to go with an athletic background. WWE would break down the door to her house to sign her up as fast as they could. It was a very hard road to get there, but it’s also a bit difficult to but that she had to put in that much effort to get her name on a WWE deal once she started in wrestling. Telling the story is a good idea, but they needed to get the ending right.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn

Lumberjack match, with the Usos getting their own entrance. Sami tries to run outside at the bell but gets thrown back inside so Drew can unload in the corner. McIntyre is sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks, setting up the big staredown. We take a break and come back with the Glasgow Kiss dropping Sami. McIntyre fights up and beats on Zayn as the lumberjacks get in a brawl. Zayn tries to escape but gets thrown back in as everyone else brawls on the floor. McIntyre finally hits the big running flip dive onto the pile but Zayn uses the distraction to run into the crowd for the countout at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as it was more about setting up another rematch, which will hopefully be the conclusive match for a change. Zayn continuing to be a weasel works, though as usual, a lumberjack match is kind of hard to get into as they almost all follow the same formula. Just get to the blowoff next week and let both guys move on.

Post match Adam Pearce comes out to say Zayn isn’t getting away with this and makes McIntyre vs. Zayn IV in a cage match next week. Jinder Mahal and Shanky jump McIntyre but he fights up and Claymore Mahal. McIntyre poses on the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. As it has been for the last couple of weeks, Smackdown continues to feel like it has no direction. The show comes and goes without much happening, as it always feels like “wait until next week” but next week never gets here. This show featured Butch losing again, the same ending we’ve seen to McIntyre vs. Zayn twice before, Moss beating the other half of the same team and a contract signing. It’s like they’re playing the hits if the best they could do was reach the top 2000. Another show that didn’t feel important in the slightest this week, which is far too long of a trend these days.

Results
Xavier Woods b. Butch – Backwoods
Gunther b. Teddy Goodz – Powerbomb
Riddle b. Jey Uso – Small package
Madcap Moss b. Angel – Punchline
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn via countout

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 18, 2022: They Didn’t Mess Up

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2022
Location: KeyBank Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

We are most of the way to Wrestlemania Backlash and a lot of the card has been set. Last week’s Smackdown saw RKBro vs. the Usos officially announced for the pay per view and at the moment, that is the biggest match on the card. Maybe we can get some more things added this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Cody Rhodes beating the Miz last week and then setting up his Wrestlemania Backlash rematch with Seth Rollins.

Here is Seth Rollins to get things going. Rollins gets straight to the point by calling out Cody Rhodes, who joins him in the ring. Rhodes thinks Buffalo is Rhodes Country and the fans seem to agree. Before Rollins can get anything in, the fans keep cutting him off. Rollins says he was going to talk about his respect for Rhodes and his family.

After all of those years of hard work to become the American Nightmare, Rollins made him a star in one night at Wrestlemania. Rhodes asks him to get to the point, so Rollins says he wasn’t properly prepared at Wrestlemania, hence his loss. Rollins will be ready at Wrestlemania Backlash and he is ready to win once and for all. Rhodes remembers Rollins being to the top of the mountain four times, but Rhodes was the winner at Wrestlemania.

It’s true that Rhodes has been gone for six years and he spent some time in management. One thing he learned is that sometimes you need a mediator, so how about the good people of Buffalo? A quick audience poll seems to favor Rhodes, but Rollins has an idea of his own: Rhodes vs. an opponent of Rollins’ choice tonight. Rhodes is in as it continues to still work for him.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley

Banks and Naomi are defending with Banks getting knocked down to start. Ripley wheelbarrows Liv into a splash for two but Banks is back up with a kick to drop Liv. Everything breaks down fast and they all go to the floor, with Banks getting hit with Riptide onto the barricade, leaving her looking very….surprised (Maybe?) as we take a break. Back with an assisted powerbomb setting up Riptide on Naomi but Banks makes the save. The Codebreaker into the Bubba Bomb into a rollup gives Banks the pin at Ripley at 7:26.

Rating: C. The match was pretty short and to the point but Ripley and Morgan lose, again, because the team that was put together all of a month ago needs to have some emotional split. It isn’t like the champs are some legendary pairing either, as this division continues to exist for the sole purpose of giving women a token story.

Post match Morgan and Ripley argue, with Ripley turning on her to end their time together after….about six weeks? Maybe?

We look back at Sonya Deville attacking Bianca Belair to set herself up as Belair’s first challenger.

Rhea Ripley is asked about an explanation but we don’t deserve one.

Here is Sonya Deville for a chat. She talks about how she is a competitor who wants to face the best in WWE. That is why she wanted to face Bianca Belair, because Deville doesn’t want to beat some each champion. Cue Belair to say but Deville threatens her with problems if she touches a WWE official. Belair is ready for the match right now but Deville says we’ll do it next week in Belair’s hometown next week. Deville keeps needling her and gets caught in the KOD, which means Deville has to threaten her with losing the title right now. Belair drops her and leaves.

Veer Mahaan vs. Jeff Brooks

Brooks gets driven into the corner to start and then thrown back out of it. The Million Dollar arm sets up the Cervical Clutch to make Brooks tap at 1:01.

Post match Mahaan does it two more times, despite referees and agents coming in.

In the back, Sonya Deville is ranting to Adam Pearce about Bianca Belair’s conduct and wants a huge fine. Belair comes in and pays her fine: $1.

Here is Kevin Owens for the KO Show and Chad Gable is in the ring to administer a lie detector test. Owens isn’t happy with Elias pretending to be his younger brother Ezekiel needs to get out here right now for the test. Cue Ezekiel, who says he is Elias’ younger brother, sending Gable into a rant about how Gable Steveson is overrated. Owens says focus, because he is getting $150 Canadian for this.

They get to the questions, with Ezekiel being truthful about his identity. Each one sends Owens further and further over the edge but Ezekiel has finally had enough. He has his first match tonight but Owens is tired of all this lying. Threats are made and Ezekiel basically tells him to bring it. Owens leaves so Gable jumps Ezekiel from behind.

Ezekiel vs. Chad Gable

Ezekiel charges at him to start but Gable grabs a dragon screw legwhip out of the corner. It’s time to go after the knee with a spinning toehold of all things before Gable goes up. The moonsault hits a raised boot though and Ezekiel (Ezekiel: “SPEAK WITH ZEKE!”) grabs a one legged Liontamer. Cue Otis to jump Ezekiel for the DQ at 3:28.

Rating: D+. Ezekiel isn’t exactly a top level worker, but I don’t think giving him a pinfall in his first match is the worst idea. If you don’t want Gable getting pinned, don’t put him in the match in the first place. This just left both guys looking weak, as Gable came off like Owens’ lackey and Ezekiel gets a lame DQ win in his debut. Why do it this way when you don’t have to?

Video on RKBro vs. the Usos for Wrestlemania Backlash.

RKBro vs. Street Profits

Non-title. Dawkins powers Orton into the corner to start and Orton isn’t sure what to do here. He settles for taking Dawkins into the RKBro corner and handing it off to Riddle for a headlock. Ford comes in with the dropkick to Riddle and goes up, only to have Riddle run the corner and hit a super Spanish Fly. We take a break and come back with Riddle striking away at Ford so the hot tag can bring in Dawkins to clean house. Everything breaks down and the double hanging DDT plants the Profits. The RKO is loaded up but the Usos’ music plays for a distraction, allowing a Doomsday Blockbuster to finish Riddle at 7:38.

Rating: C. First off, big points for not running ANOTHER singles match between two tag wrestlers. Those things haven’t been interested in forever and WWE has run them into the ground over and over again for the better part of ever. The distraction ending wasn’t exactly good, but at least they set up the Usos vs. RKBro, though they might have set up a short term program with the Profits for the titles too.

Post match the Profits say RKBro needs to be worried about them.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest from last week, with Priest kneeling and the match ending.

Damian Priest and Edge, the latter sitting on a throne, says the fans need to know who they are. Edge says these seeds were planted when he was in the Brood and the Ministry of Darkness. They haven’t lived up to their potential, like last year when Priest was playing second fiddle to Bad Bunny. Then he didn’t even have a match at this year’s Wrestlemania!

Edge had to beg someone to face him at Wrestlemania and that was too far. He returned in a great moment but in two years, the fans are treating him like a part timer. The only person to stand in their way is AJ Styles so Edge officially challenges AJ for Wrestlemania Backlash. It will be AJ’s judgment day.

Post break, Styles accepts Edge’s challenge…and the lights start flickering. Edge and Priest appear and the beatdown is on, with Edge slamming a locker door on Styles’ arm over and over.

United States Title: Theory vs. Finn Balor

Theory (egads) is challenging and takes over early on by taking Balor down. We hit a rather early chinlock with Balor having to fight up and jawbreak his way to freedom. Theory takes him down again and hits a hanging neckbreaker out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Theory hitting a swinging side slam but Balor fights back. A suplex doesn’t work but Balor is able to counter a rolling something into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Balor stomps away and hits a Sling Blade into the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace is broken up though and a springboard Spanish Fly (cool) out of the corner gives Theory two. A Town Down is broken up and Balor clotheslines him to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. Back in and the Coup de Grace misses again, which bangs up the already bad neck, allowing Theory to hit A Town Down for the pin and the title at 11:35. Lawler: “SELFIES FOR EVERYONE!”

Rating: C+. After everything they did with Balor in recent weeks, they didn’t have a choice here but to change the title. Theory has beaten him time after time and it makes sense to give him the title to make him into something. Above all else, Theory gets elevated, even if it means Balor’s up and down WWE career continues.

Post match the villains come out to celebrate with Theory. Cue Vince McMahon to raise his hand and congratulate him as well.

Seth Rollins has an idea on who Cody Rhodes’ opponent will be but won’t say who it is. Now excuse him as he has a phone call from the opponent.

It’s time for the double commitment ceremony (not wedding) between Dana Brooke/Reggie and Tamina/Akira Tozawa, as presided over by R-Truth. During the ceremony, the 24/7 Title is off limits, as per Truth’s orders. Here are the women, with Sasha Banks and Naomi helping carry the bridal train. After Brooke corrects Truth on her name (it isn’t Brookes), it is time for one of the couples to be unified and the other two to get hitched.

Brooke says her vows, though the fans are not exactly interested, giving this quite the WHAT treatment. Reggie gives a to the point speech, talking about how their love has made them stronger. Tamina: “Same.” Tozawa: “What he said.” Truth asks for objections…but Tamina objects and tries to switch grooms. Actually hold on again as Tamina wants to marry Dana…..who is cool with this. Truth: “Y’ALL GONNA GET ME FIRED! I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT’S PG!”

They switch back to the original pairings and the fans still don’t like this. They exchange rings and Truth says they’re committed, so get the smooching on. Smooching ensues….and Reggie pins Brooke to win the 24/7 Title. Then Tamina wins the title. Then Tozawa wins the title. Then Brooke hits a high crossbody off the top and wins the title before jumping on Truth’s back and running off. This could have been far, far worse, even if it didn’t really accomplish anything.

We recap MVP turning on Bobby Lashley to join Omos and set up their Wrestlemania Backlash rematch.

Earlier today, MVP said he has moved on to bigger, meaner and stronger things with Omos. Before Wrestlemania Backlash, they want to let Omos display his strength. Say in an arm wrestling match next week.

Lashley talks about how he has to beat Omos to get to MVP. Is Omos stronger than him? We’ll find out next week because the arm wrestling is on.

Cody Rhodes vs. ???

Seth Rollins brings out Cody’s opponent and it’s….Kevin Owens. They start fast with Cody knocking him outside but the suicide dive is blocked with a right hand. Owens fall away slams him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting a dropkick but the snap powerslam doesn’t work. Owens hits a backsplash to the back for two and starts ripping at Rhodes’ face.

Cody fights back but the Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Owens hits a hard DDT for two. They fight outside with Cody knocking him over the announcers’ table, only to have Seth Rollins come back out. We take another break and come back with Owens breaking up a superplex attempt and nailing the frog splash for two.

A Swanton is good for the same and Owens hits the swinging superplex. They head to the apron with Cody reversing an apron powerbomb to send Owens outside. Rollins yells at Owens to get his fat a** back in….but Owens isn’t having this and takes the countout loss at 17:20.

Rating: B-. This felt like a main event and what matters is Rhodes continues his roll. I can get not wanting to have Owens take a pin here as he still has some momentum going, but Rhodes gets to beat his third World Champion in three matches. Good main event match here, and Rollins vs. Owens might be warming up for after the next pay per view.

Rollins shoves Rhodes off the top to end the show, with Rhodes holding his ankle. Notice what Lawler did at the end when he shouted “RHODES IS HURT!” That’s the old school “come back next week to see what happened” mentality that you almost never see in WWE these days. When is the last time a WWE show ended on a cliffhanger or something that made you wonder what happened after the show ended? Do more of that and make this feel more exciting.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some rocky points in here and some of it wasn’t the best, but it also didn’t have some terrible moment or some dagger to the whole show. It wasn’t some classic, but there was enough good action and movement forward, plus the wedding was funny in a bit of a car crash way. Not too bad of a week here and I’m good with that after some of the recent Raws.

Results
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan – Jackknife rollup to Ripley
Veer Mahaan b. Jeff Brooks – Cervical Clutch
Ezekiel b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Street Profits b. RKBro – Doomsday Blockbuster to Riddle
Theory b. Finn Balor – A Town Down
Cody Rhodes b. Kevin Owens via countout

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 15, 2022: Back Next Week?

Smackdown
Date: April 15, 2022
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re back to the blue guys and now the build seems to be on for Wrestlemania Backlash. Last week saw Shinsuke Nakamura come after Roman Reigns to suggest that he is the next challenger while Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey in an I Quit match is officially set. Hopefully we get some built towards those matches this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns sending the Usos after the Raw Tag Team Titles, setting up a pair of matches on Raw.

Here are Raw Tag Team Champions Rated RKBro for a chat. We get a lot of posing before Riddle talks about how stoked he is to be back on Smackdown, especially with his best friend Randy. After going on about Worcester being the name for Worcestershire sauce, but it’s named after the one in England, not this one. He learned that off of a Snapple lid, but Orton cuts him off to get serious. Orton wants the Usos out here right now so here they are for the showdown.

The Usos go on a rant about how this is their place and they’re ready for RKBro because they’re twin brothers who are ready to face anyone. Orton says he loves the family but the two of them are a******. Orton says the Big Dog left the b****** off the leash and “frick that” (his words). We hear about Orton’s career in a more fired up way than usual and the challenge is accepted. The Usos go to leave but come back in to pull Riddle off the ropes for a cheap shot, which Cole calls a hit and run.

Sasha Banks/Naomi talk trash to Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan about Naomi vs. Ripley tonight.

RKBro asks Adam Pearce about the Tag Team Title match but they can only get Riddle vs. Jey tonight, because THAT’S ALL THEY DO FOR TAG TEAM FEUDS.

Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley

Sasha Banks and Liv Morgan are here too because we can’t just have the freaking Tag Team Title match already and have to do a bunch of singles matches first. Ripley powers her into the corner to start and then runs Naomi down with a shoulder for a bonus. A knee sends Ripley to the apron and a big boot knocks her down. Naomi follows her out but gets blasted with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Naomi fighting up and hitting an ax kick, followed by a bulldog into the corner. A high crossbody gives Naomi two and she faceplants Rhea for two more. Naomi grabs a full nelson of all things but gets powered into a northern lights suplex. The missile dropkick sends Naomi flying for two but she’s back with a Bubba Bomb (that explains the full nelson) into a cradle for two of her own. Ripley isn’t having that though and grabs the Riptide for the pin at 8:44. Banks looking stunned that a monster like Ripley won a match is kind of funny.

Rating: C+. It’s always nice to see Ripley getting a win like this, even if it keeps Naomi looking as middle of the road as possible. That is about all she does most of the time and the Women’s Tag Team Titles isn’t exactly some huge upgrade for her. Odds are the titles are retained on Raw though, allowing us to have Ripley and Morgan split after….a whole six weeks or so as a team?

The Usos don’t answer any questions and head into Roman Reigns’ locker room.

We look back at Happy Corbin turning on Madcap Moss.

Corbin doesn’t like Moss being called his former associate because Moss was more of a hanger on or a gopher. He blames Moss for losing his undefeated streak and now the loss of dead weight is increasing his happiness levels. Just wait until Moss becomes the laughingstock of Smackdown.

Drew Gulak, auditioning to become part of the broadcast team, asks Moss about what Corbin says. Moss says Corbin bought him his suspenders and taught him how to tell his jokes. That’s why the jokes were bad, because having an audience of bald men with a bad sense of humor will kill anyone. He isn’t worried about facing Humberto either and tells them where the Kiss Cam can go. McAfee explains the joke in case the visual didn’t explain it.

Madcap Moss vs. Humberto

Humberto knocks him into the corner so Angel can get in a cheap shot, allowing Humberto to mock the kissing deal. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Moss fights up and hits an elbow to the face. Moss pulls him out of the air for a fall away slam but the running shoulder in the corner hits Angel. Humberto takes one of his own and the Punch Line finishes for Moss at 2:28. Smart to give him a pretty decisive win, but a grudge match against Corbin isn’t exactly enthralling stuff.

Angel yells at Humberto for losing to a joke.

Charlotte comes in to see Adam Pearce but Drew Gulak interrupts to ask about how he did. Charlotte says Gulak can interview her in the middle of the ring and don’t be nervous.

Usos vs. RKBro is set for Wrestlemania Backlash.

Drew Gulak is in the ring to interview Charlotte. Gulak asks if she is ready for a hard hitting interview but is told to just hold the mic. Charlotte talks about how she turned down the I Quit match with Ronda Rousey because she wanted to keep Rousey safe. Gulak mentions that Charlotte tapped at Wrestlemania but Charlotte INSISTS that she was fixing her bra. That’s not good enough for Gulak, who thinks that had the referee been in place, Rousey would be champion.

Charlotte thinks that is out of line and asks if Drew stopped wrestling so he could hold a microphone and ask stupid questions. She thinks everyone here has quit something, but that is nothing she would ever do. Charlotte tells Gulak to get out of her ring but attacks him before he can. The Figure Eight makes Gulak tap (McAfee: “Charlotte Flair even taps out interviewers!”) and shout that he quits until referees break it up.

We recap Sami Zayn running from Drew McIntyre last week.

Ludwig Kaiser narrates a video about the awesomeness of Gunther.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn

Sami says he’s going to prove himself here and then runs to the floor to start. McIntyre follows him out and hits Sami in the face (after avoiding punching McAfee by mistake) before taking him back inside. The Glasgow Kiss looks to set up the Claymore but Zayn runs again, this time taking the countout at 2:29.

Drew isn’t happy post match.

Ricochet is ready to defend his Intercontinental Title.

Sami Zayn runs into Adam Pearce, who makes Sami vs. McIntyre III in a lumberjack match next week.

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Jinder Mahal

Ricochet is defending and Shanky is here with Mahal. They start fast with Mahal pulling Ricochet away from the ropes for a crash to the mat. Ricochet fights back up and counters the Khallas into a rollup for two. The Recoil sets up the 630 but Shanky pulls Mahal to the floor. That’s fine with Ricochet who dives onto both of them for the big crash. Back in and the shooting star press retains the title at 2:59. Not quite a squash, but Ricochet needed any kind of a win to get him back on track after the Los Lotharios stuff.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Butch losing last week but the solution is that Butch needs to channel his aggression. They try to convince him that New Day is the enemy…but Butch slips away, because he’s treated like a child for whatever reason.

Post break, Butch, Sheamus and Ridge Holland attack New Day, making me wonder why they bothered with the “lost” deal for all of four minutes.

It’s time for part two of the Lacey Evans story. She talks about how her father caught up with her and her mother and had all kinds of anger and mental health issues. He would yell a lot and throw a bunch of things until he was eventually on the run from an assault charge. That helped her learn how to fight from a young age and she knows how to be at rock bottom. No one can phase her because she has been through worse. This continues to be a good bit too serious for a wrestling angle.

Natalya and Shayna Baszler don’t like Lacey Evans treating them like this because Lacey doesn’t respect legends. Lacey is trying to take over the locker room but here is Raquel Rodriguez to say how happy she is to meet Natalya.

Jimmy Uso vs. Riddle

Jey Uso and Randy Orton are here too. An early RKO attempt is blocked and Riddle gets sent hard into the corner. The early chinlock goes on but Riddle fights up and they go to the floor. A superkick rocks Riddle again and we take a break. Back with Riddle firing off a kick and a knee to stagger Jimmy. The Bro To Sleep into a German suplex gets two but Jimmy is back with a pop up Samoan drop. Randy and Jey get into it on the floor to distract Riddle, allowing Jimmy to kick him down. The Superfly Splash misses though and a pop up RKO finishes Jimmy at 9:02.

Rating: C+. Here we have another example of a pretty good match that meant absolutely nothing. Odds are we get every combination of these four until we get to the pay per view and while the big match will be good, it is going to have been so watered down by all of these singles matches that it will lose a bunch of impact. I would love to see WWE change up their formula a bit, but that just isn’t going to happen.

Overall Rating: D+. This was as ho hum of a regular Smackdown as I can remember in a long time. The wrestling was adequate enough but it felt like a night where they just said “oh throw whatever out there”. Mahal gets a title shot, two tag matches are built up with singles matches, Sheamus N Pals vs. New Day continues, Charlotte beats up an interviewer and a Madcap Moss feature match. No Reigns, no Rousey, no Nakamura after the end of last week’s show. It felt like they took a week off here (and they may have due to the holiday), but you can’t get a pre-taped promo in from someone that matters?

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Naomi – Riptide
Madcap Moss b. Humberto – Punch Line
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn via countout
Ricochet b. Jinder Mahal – Shooting star press
Riddle b. Jimmy Uso – RKO

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – April 11, 2022: Keep It Going

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2022
Location: Little Caesar’s Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

We’re back to normal this week as the Wrestlemania Weekend glow is gone. Now we get to see what the regular crowds are like and how they respond to what WWE is offering. At the same time, we get to see how things go when WWE doesn’t have to try as hard. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Cody Rhodes’ return at Wrestlemania and wanting to become the WWE Champion to honor his father.

Here is the Miz for MizTV. Miz wastes no time in introducing Cody Rhodes, though he does make sure to insult the fans a few times. Miz accuses Cody of taking too long to come out but Cody says it has been awhile since he was in front of a crowd like this one. Hang on as Cody gets to pose a bit more and the fans certainly like him. We hear about Cody being the grandson of a plumber but without the Rhodes name, he would just be a plumber. Cody says it would be nice to be a plumber right now because Miz is full of….and he stops himself.

Miz hasn’t changed a bit in years and that makes him reliable. Cody is here to win the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Championship belt, though Miz points out that it’s a title because a belt holds up your pants. We hear about how Seth Rollins wants a rematch where Cody can’t surprise him but the fans cut off Miz again.

Miz gets in Cody’s face and says he knows where Cody has been for six years but Cody says hold on. He respects Miz and all of his accomplishments but maybe Miz is threatened by him. Cody has enjoyed their chat but he’s looking forward to their match, which will be his first on Raw in six years. Miz goes for the sneak attack and gets sent outside. Cody kept the reaction for another week so they might be on to something here.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Veer Mahaan

Veer runs him over to start but Dominik is up with a superkick. A missed charge sends Veer outside, where he sends Dominik into the barricade. The baseball clothesline drops Dominik on the floor and another does it again inside. The cervical clutch (camel clutch/Gargano Escape hybrid) finishes Dominik at 1:58.

Post match Mahaan puts the hold on again, then lets it go, then puts it on again, leaving Dominik to take a stretcher out.

Post break, Dominik is put into the stretcher.

Veer Mahaan says he strikes fear into the hearts of men.

We look back at Edge and Damian Priest taking out AJ Styles last week.

Styles is scared of what he is going to do to Priest tonight. Priest walks up so AJ gets in a fight with him, with agents having to break it up.

AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

During his entrance, Priest says he is here to prove that he is worthy of working with Edge. Styles slugs away to start and hits a clothesline to put Priest on the floor. There’s the forearm off the apron to send Priest over the barricade. A whip into another barricade has Priest in more trouble and we take a break.

Back with AJ bleeding from the head but still managing to hammer away. The Downward Spiral plants Styles though but the Reckoning is countered into a Pele. Styles tries the Phenomenal Forearm, which is countered with a kick to the head. Hold on though as Priest drops to a knee and the lights go out. The purple spotlight comes on Priest….and we take another break. Back again with….the match being over, we’ll say at 13:05.

Rating: C. That’s WWE for you. They set up a match but then realize that they don’t want either of them to lose so they get creative and give us whatever this was. I’m sure there is some internal WWE logic behind what happened, but since WWE can’t bother to explain any of this stuff, we’re left sitting here wondering what the heck just happened. More importantly though, I’m left sitting around wondering why I should care if they’re just going to end a match like that.

AJ isn’t happy and says Edge is his no matter what.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

Hold on as here is Seth Rollins at the bell to conduct the crowd in his entrance theme. Miz gets in an early kick to the face but Cody snaps off the powerslam to send Miz outside. Back in and we hit the cravate to hold Miz in place before Cody sends him face first into the buckle. Miz gets in a shot to the face though and the chinlock goes on. Jimmy calls it a beautiful one and Cody is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Cody hitting a suplex for two, with Miz being sent outside for a suicide dive. They get back in and Cody misses something off the top to damage his knee. The Figure Four goes on and stays on for a good while, but Cody finally turns it over for the break. Back up and the Cody Cutter sets up the Cross Rhodes at 11:50.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of win that can boost Cody a bit: he beats an established name clean in the middle of the ring and starts looking like a force. That makes two matches for Cody and two wins over former World Champions. He has a long way to go, but they are starting off well and that’s more than I would have bet on in this case.

Post match Rollins (who didn’t do anything during the match) grabs the mic and says he heard Cody mention the word REMATCH. Rollins could go for that and Cody accepts the challenge, date to be announced.

We recap the debut of Ezekiel from last week, much to Kevin Owens’ annoyance.

We meet the newest member of the Raw roster: Tommaso Ciampa (thankfully not renamed to Steve Lewis), but Ezekiel comes up to introduce himself. Ciampa is glad to meet him but Owens comes in to say that’s Elias. Ezekiel and Ciampa say not quite and Owens thinks he is the only sane person left around here.

Liv Morgan vs. Naomi

Naomi rolls her down to start and hits a quick kick to the face for an early two. A double jumping kick to the face drops Liv again but she’s back with a rollup. That means a pinfall reversal sequence until Naomi gets a rollup pin at 2:18.

Here is Bobby Lashley in the VIP Lounge despite not being a guest. He barely beat Omos so now it is time for him to wreck this set. Cue MVP and Omos, with the former threatening lawsuits if Lashley breaks anything. Lashley wants Omos right now but MVP says Omos is learning to be a businessman so he’s waiting until the money is right. That’s fine with Lashley, who still wants an explanation from MVP.

Believe it or not, MVP actually gives him one, saying that when he returned to WWE, Lashley was floundering. Lashley had talent but he wasn’t going anywhere so MVP had to save him. Lashley accuses MVP of being on a farewell tour and a lot of yelling ensues. MVP says Omos is going to destroy Lashley, who promises to take Omos down again and then take MVP out. With that taken care of, Lashley throws a bunch of the set out of the ring.

We recap the double engagements in the 24/7 Title shenanigans.

R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and some others have a bachelor party with Reggie, but aren’t happy that Dana Brooke and the 24/7 Title are at a bachelorette party. It’s time to break it up.

Austin Theory asks the bosses for a US Title shot next week. Deal, and you can just call him Theory. Oh screw off. Kevin Owens comes in to take Theory’s place and demands proof that Ezekiel and Elias are different people. That information is confidential (Owens: “HIS LIBRARY CARD IS CONFIDENTIAL????”) so next week, Owens will make him take a lie detector test. With Owens gone, Sonya Deville says she has a deal in place for Bianca Belair’s first title defense.

Bianca Belair vs. Queen Zelina

Non-title. Belair blocks a rollup to start and runs her over but Zelina takes her down for a Last Chancery. That’s broken up with straight power and Belair hits a gorilla press drop. The KOD connects to finish Zelina at 2:08.

Post break, Sonya Deville is in the ring to announce Belair’s first challenger. It wasn’t an easy pick as she had a lot of options, but Belair is ready for anyone. Deville has an open contract and Belair signs without a second thought. The opponent is……Deville herself, who takes out Belair’s knee and hits a running knee to the face.

We go to the bachelorette party, where Tamina agrees to keep the truce with Dana Brooke tonight. After their honeymoons though, it’s open season for the 24/7 Title. Los Lotharios come in for the Kiss Cam but Nikki Ash has a surprise: a pair of strippers, but one of them is a referee. Tamina breaks up the cover and slides Nikki down the bar as R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and Reggie come in. R-Truth gives them a speech about how the love of the title is all that matters. He’s a certified marriage guy (and has a certificate to prove it) and bans all attacks on Dana until after next week’s double wedding. And now, dancing.

Adam Pearce isn’t happy with Sonya Deville but she asks what he can do about it.

Alpha Academy vs. RKBro

Non-title and before the match, Chad Gable brags about his intelligence, his degree, and everything about himself in general. Orton takes Gable down to start and hands it off to Riddle for some kicks to the chest. Otis comes in to run Riddle over though and we take a break. Back with Gable working on Riddle’s arm but Riddle fights up and brings Orton back in to clean house. A rollup gives Gable two but Orton grabs the RKO for the pin at 8:08.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good stuff while it lasted and that shouldn’t be much of a surprise. These teams have done well in their previous matches, though it is pretty clear that the Academy is on their way down. RKBro vs. the Usos is going to be a big deal and they don’t need the Academy there for that kind of a match.

We cut to the back where the Usos arrive. After a break, here are the Usos, with Orton saying the Big Dog let his b****** off the leash. The Usos laugh it off and get straight to the point: they want the title unification match. Riddle thinks that sounds like something out of Avengers with Thanos trying to get all of the crystals together. Cue the Street Profits to interrupt, because they should be at the front of the line. Jimmy: “There’s only one line and it’s the BLOODLINE!” The Profits and the Usos are ready to go and Orton makes the match.

We recap Veer Mahaan taking out Dominik Mysterio earlier in the night.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Non-title and RKBro is at ringside. Ford dropkicks Jimmy down to start and hands it off to Dawkins, who suplexes him onto Jimmy for one. Jey comes in and gets elbowed down for two, only to have Jimmy come back in off a blind tag. A double spinebuster drops Dawkins and a top rope forearms to the chest gets two.

Dawkins tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught with a jumping enziguri. The Usos head outside to glare at RKBro, only to have Ford flip dive onto them. Ford dances a bit as we take a break. Back with Dawkins fighting out of a chinlock, allowing the double tag off to Ford for the house cleaning.

A running Blockbuster gets two on Jey and Dawkins pulls Jimmy to the floor for a right back. Back in and the Doomsday Blockbuster gets two more on Jey. Jimmy cuts off Dawkins’ dive and superkicks him down, only to have the Superfly Splash hit knees. Ford adds the frog splash for two with Jey making the save. Dawkins is sent into the post and it’s the 1D to finish Ford at 15:11.

Rating: B-. This match got the time that it needed to be better and that is what made it work. Again, I don’t think the Profits are going to matter all that much in the picture so it was a good idea to get rid of them here. Go with the Usos vs. RKBro on the big(ish) stage and leave the other teams out of the picture for the time being.

Post match the champs stare each other down and hold up the titles. The Usos leave but RKBro has to take out the Profits. That’s enough for the Usos to superkick Orton down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t quite last week, but they did keep some momentum going after the post Wrestlemania Raw. That’s more than I would have bet on with this show as WWE has a tendency to drop down a good bit with Wrestlemania season over. You can see a lot of Backlash being set up and now they have another few weeks to really set things up. I’m cautiously optimistic for the next few weeks though and that is a nice feeling.

Results
Veer Mahaan b. Dominik Mysterio – Cervical Clutch
AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest went to a no contest
Cody Rhodes b. Miz – Cross Rhodes
Naomi b. Liv Morgan – Rollup
Bianca Belair b. Queen Zelina – KOD
RKBro b. Alpha Academy – RKO to Gable
Usos b. Street Profits – 1D to Ford

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 8, 2022: Cast Change

Smackdown
Date: April 8, 2022
Location: Fiserv Forum, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the first Smackdown after Wrestlemania and maybe something can go a bit better than this week’s Raw. If nothing else, there is always the chance to see who might show up from NXT or elsewhere and that can make for some exciting times. If nothing else, the fans have now had a chance to rest a bit and aren’t likely to get burned out an hour into the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania Night One and Night Two if you need a recap.

We open with the long recap of Wrestlemania.

Kayla Braxton brings out Ronda Rousey for a chat. We look at Charlotte tapping out at Wrestlemania but winning anyway thanks to a downed referee. Rousey says that her mom taught her that things won’t always work out, but she had Charlotte beaten. Now Rousey wants a rematch, but with no way out. Instead, she wants it in an I Quit match. Charlotte pops up on screen to laugh and say Charlie Sheen’s WINNING. She thinks the Baddest Woman On The Planet deal is a myth so the match….isn’t on. Rousey says the match is taking place and Charlotte is going to scream. That is the logical next step for the feud.

We recap New Day losing to Ridge Holland and Sheamus at Wrestlemania in a minute and forty seconds (on an eight hour, two night event).

Sheamus and Holland tells Butch to take Xavier Woods apart like a chew toy.

Butch vs. Xavier Woods

Ridge Holland, Sheamus and Kofi Kingston are here too. Before the match, Kofi mocks the trio in the ring and says that since Wrestlemania is over, all records reset, so their feud is even again. Woods says that he hit the weights this morning and then called Butch’s mom, who wants him to give her rabies infused nephew.

Woods charges in and gets pounded down but comes back with some chops. Butch starts going after the arm and they head outside, where Woods gets X Plexed onto the apron. We take a break and come back with Woods fighting off the mat and hammering away on the apron. Butch cuts him off with a forearm but Woods grabs a small package for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C-. So he debuts as a new gimmick, then becomes something of a feral man child, then he loses his debut. Are we sure that moving up to the main roster is a good thing at this point? This is the latest time that WWE has what should be a can’t miss prospect and not only do they manage to start badly, but then they run in the other direction with the thing. Well done, as always.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville N Pals at Wrestlemania.

Sami Zayn goes on a rant to Adam Pearce about being treated like a loser after his match with Knoxville. He has even been sent cheese because of the mousetrap. Zayn wants a match with the next person to walk out of the men’s locker room, so here’s Drew McIntyre. Sami: “Ok the NEXT person to walk out of that locker room!” Pearce makes the match with McIntyre for tonight. Zayn needs some time to think about this and leaves. A stagehand comes in to hand Pearce a note, with Pearce saying to tell the sender that he can’t meet with her right now.

Ludvig Kaiser (Marcel Barthel) introduces the debuting Gunther.

Gunther vs. Joe Alonzo

Gunther chops him into the corner and then stands on his throat. The big boot sets up the chops and the powerbomb finishes for Gunther at 2:03. That’s a good way to debut a new monster.

Raquel Rodriguez (Gonzalez, also from NXT) says you haven’t seen anyone like her. Los Lotharios come up to hit on her but she says not a chance. Kayla Braxton agrees that the two of them are always annoying. There was no reason to keep her in NXT any longer so the move makes sense.

It’s time for Happy Talk with Happy Corbin and Madcap Poss but Corbin isn’t happy. The fact that some of the balloons are messed up and they appear to say CO RATS makes it even worse. Corbin had an honest conversation with himself on his yacht this week and he has come to a realization: it’s all Moss’ fault.

Moss is really sorry but Corbin doesn’t want to hear about Moss’ feelings. Somehow Moss made Wrestlemania Weekend all about himself with the battle royal win. Corbin thinks Moss has forgotten his place, which is tell him a joke. Moss asks what you call him when he costs Corbin a match? Madcap LOSS! Corbin: “That’s terrible. Tell me another one.” The second one bombs too, which doesn’t have Moss looking very happy.

Corbin gives him one more chance to tell a joke like Moss’ job depends on it. Moss asks what you call a guy who treats his friend like garbage and dressed like he’s going to a funeral for Tommy Bahama? You call him Happy Corbin! That’s enough to start the fight, with Moss getting the better of things and knocking Corbin to the floor. Moss even stomps on the hat!

Jinder Mahal rants to Adam Pearce about wanting a title shot when Ronda Rousey comes in to ask about her I Quit match. She’ll get an answer by tomorrow.

Sami Zayn vs. Drew McIntyre

Sami stalls a lot to start but Drew finally grabs him for a ram into the barricade. Back in and McIntyre sends him flying with a suplex, followed by some drops onto the announcers’ table. Zayn teases walking out but gets taken down from behind. The Claymore is loaded up but Sami runs outside again and takes the countout at 3:32.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about something like this, but Sami continuing to be a weasel is still entertaining. The good thing also here is it gave McIntyre a night off, as he was just doing his big moves and standing around while Sami bumped a bit. Odds are we’ll see this again next week and that could be interesting too.

We look back at Pat McAfee/Austin Theory/Vince McMahon/Steve Austin at Wrestlemania.

We get the first chapter of the Lacey Evans Story, talking about how her dad was abusive and ran her mom and her off. Then they lived in campgrounds all their life and worked to get here. She’s a mom, a sister and a United States Marine. It doesn’t make her better than anyone, but they’re not better than her either.

Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan

Naomi is on commentary but Morgan explains that she’s on her own. Morgan grabs a rollup for a fast two and then kicks Banks face first into the corner. A middle rope missile dropkick sets up a missed Oblivion, allowing Banks to kick her to the floor. We take a break and come back with Sasha hitting a top rope splash for two but the Codebreaker is blocked.

They go into the pinfall reversal sequence until Banks knees her in the face. Liv is right back with the Codebreaker for the double knockdown. Banks catches her with a knee on top and hits a superplex but throws her legs up so Morgan can grab the small package for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for the ending, as Banks hit the superplex, laid there for a second, and then threw her legs up so Morgan could get the pin. That looked as scripted as you could get and it drives me nuts to see them make it look that bad. Throw in CHALLENGER PINS TAG CHAMPION TO SET UP THE TITLE MATCH and it’s even worse.

We look at Roman Reigns unifying the World Titles at Wrestlemania.

Here is the Bloodline for a chat. Reigns talks about winning the WWE Title from Raw and that doesn’t leave him much to do. There is a lot for the Bloodline to do though, which is why he wants the Usos to go to Raw and bring him the Raw Tag Team Titles so they can be unified too. Cue Shinsuke Nakamura to interrupt but Reigns puts his hand on the microphone. Reigns gets that Nakamura needs something after losing his partner so he’ll show some Bloodline love. That means a hug to Nakamura….and a double superkick from the Usos to end the show. Nakamura vs. Reigns for Backlash works.

Overall Rating: C+. Much like Raw, this show had stuff going on, but it didn’t feel like anything that needed to be seen. This one is a bit higher though, as they announced/at least implied some things going forward. Unifying the Tag Team Titles is a LONG overdue idea and Nakamura vs. Reigns should work out just fine. I like some of the callups too (Gonzalez/Gunther work well) and there is a bit more interest around here. Throw in this being an hour shorter and it was a lot more fun than Raw. Not exactly a classic, but I’m intrigued enough.

Results
Xavier Woods b. Butch – Small package
Gunther b. Joe Alonzo – Powerbomb
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn via countout
Liv Morgan b. Sasha Banks – Small package

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – April 4, 2022: They Need A New Coat

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It is the night after Wrestlemania and I’m not even sure if that means anything these days. This show has a long history of being something special but since that isn’t WWE’s deal a lot of the time, we might be in for a show that is closer to normal. That isn’t exactly inspiring but let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania Night One and Night Two if you need a recap.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking down at the edge of the stage, with the ring to my left and the Titantron to my right.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, as you might have seen coming.

Here is Cody Rhodes, rising through the stage again and walking down a short ramp, to get things going. Cody takes his time getting to the ring and the fans seem happy to see him, though it doesn’t come across as well as it did in the arena. Cody: “So….what do you guys want to talk about?” Forty seven days ago, he became a free agent and has kept silent since then. Rhodes made the decision to return to WWE and it was never a hard choice. It’s a great story of the returning star and he is glad to be back.

He is an avid reader and he stumbled upon this quote: “Sometimes a man finds his destiny upon the path to avoid it.” Rhodes puts up a photo of his dad holding the WWWF Title in Madison Square Garden from September 26, 1977. That is the same title that Hulk Hogan (boo), Undertaker (yay), Shawn Michaels (yay) and HHH (also yay) among others have held over the years. Rhodes talks about how this photo was on the mantle in his parents’ bedroom until his father’s last day.

One day when he was a kid, he asked his dad about being a champion like Hulk Hogan. His dad got serious and explained the championship advantage, meaning that since he won by countout, he didn’t take the belt (yes belt) home with him. That made eight year old Cody decide he was going to win the title for his father.

That hasn’t happened yet and that Dream died right in front of him. Now though, he wants to claim his dream again and his intentions are clear. Rhodes is going to do it for his friends, his fans, and for the American Dream. Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt and they shake hands, with Rollins being very happy and mouthing what commentary says is “welcome home”.

This was a big moment for Cody, but the important point here is that it made sense. Cody didn’t go onto any weird tangent and got his point across (with some impressive sounding words). I can go with the idea, though a Rollins rematch might be on tap first. Good stuff here, and the fans were into Cody. I’m not sure if that lasts beyond Wrestlemania weekend, but it’s a good start.

Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Sasha Banks

Champions Contenders match. Naomi and Ripley start things off with Rhea hitting a rather delayed vertical suplex. That doesn’t get her very far though as Naomi sends her into the corner, setting up a pair of middle rope splashes for two. Banks sends Morgan outside and hits the running knees off the apron, only to have Ripley take Banks down with a flip dive. Naomi dives onto Ripley though and a slingshot legdrop gets two as we take a break.

Of note: during the break, D-Generation X’s music started playing by mistake, confusing all of the wrestlers (the D-Generation X cam was played during a later break, so it wasn’t completely random). Back with Naomi and Ripley making double tags, allowing Banks to hit a top rope Meteora on Morgan. Banks misses a clothesline as Morgan does a Matrix into a rollup for two before kicking Banks in the head. Ripley tosses Banks into Liv’s powerbomb for two but Naomi is back in for the elevated Codebreaker to finish Morgan at 8:57.

Rating: C+. They started picking up the pace near the end and had me believing that the champs were going to lose in their first match after winning the belts. That being said, they don’t exactly have much in the way of challengers going forward and that is a continuing problem for the titles. I can’t imagine it getting much better, but at least Naomi finally had something to do.

Post match Ripley walks out on Liv, with Kevin Owens coming to the ring as she leaves.

Post break, Owens doesn’t seem happy. Maybe he made a mistake on Saturday by challenging Steve Austin to an actual match. He goes over THE PLAN to trick Austin into a match but might have underestimated Austin. Owens admits that Austin is still great, because it takes someone great to beat him. However, it should be noted that he came in with a really serious back injury. Owens: “WATCH THE FOOTAGE! YOU CAN TELL!” He was limping because he was lifting a lot of weird but the WWE Universe needed him out there. Austin’s win should be stricken from the record….and here is someone named Ezekiel.

It isn’t Ezekiel Jackson, but rather someone who looks a lot like Elias, minus his beard. Owens asks Elias what he thinks he’s doing. Ezekiel: “I am not Elias.” Fans: “YES YOU ARE!” Ezekiel says he is Elias’ younger brother and Owens looks like he’s about to lose it. Owens thinks he has beer in his ears because he can’t believe he’s hearing this. Owens hates liars, so Ezekiel thinks Owens hates himself. Ezekiel reminds him of getting stunned, sending Owens into a rant against Enrique or whatever his name is. He has ten seconds to get out of Owens’ ring, but Owens counts down and then leaves instead.

We look back at Miz turning on Logan Paul after the two defeated the Mysterios at Wrestlemania.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz

Rey Mysterio is here with Dominik, who gets hit with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 26 seconds. Ok then.

Post match here is Veer Mahaan to lay out the Mysterios, including a cross between the Gargano Escape and a camel clutch to Dominik as Rey crawled over to try and save him.

Here is Bianca Belair for her first chat after winning the Raw Women’s Title. Belair thanks everyone for standing behind her because she never thought she would win the title. She takes off her sunglasses to reveal a black eye before talking about how losing to Becky Lynch at Summerslam made her realize how great she can be. Now she knows just how fast you can lose it all.

After a quick pause, Belair talks about how she never cheated but worked to get this title. Lynch went for her throat, her hair and even her eye. After all that though, she is still standing here because these people deserve better. That’s why she became better and will become the best she can be. She’ll fight everyone back there because no one is ready to take this title from her. Lynch needs to take some time and find out who she is, because Belair is the EST of WWE and is ready for anyone. This was the victory lap speech and Belair deserved it.

Video on Bron Breakker.

NXT Title: Bron Breakker vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Robert Roode in his corner, is defending. Breakker drives him into the corner to start and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Ziggler manages to Breakker outside though and rakes away at the eyes back inside. That doesn’t work for Breakker, who plants him with a powerslam, only to get crotched on top. We take a break and come back with Breakker fighting out of a chinlock but Ziggler nails a chinlock for two. Breakker’s sitout powerbomb gets two more and the comeback is on, including the overhead belly to belly.

Roode’s distraction breaks up the spear so Breakker takes him out with the big flip dive. Ziggler hits a running knee (might have been a mistimed Fameasser), followed by the Fameasser for two. Breakker blocks a ram into an exposed buckle pad but walks into the superkick (how Ziggler retained at Stand & Deliver) for two. Another superkick is loaded p but Breakker spears him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam for the pin and the title at 10:05.

Rating: C+. This is what you were probably expecting at Stand & Deliver so they did get the ending right. Breakker gets two in the title back in front of a big crowd and a much larger audience while showing that he learned something after his previous loss. I’m not sure if he should have lost on Saturday, but at least they got things right in the end.

Here is MVP for a chat. MVP praises Bobby Lashley for beating Omos on his own and brings out Lashley for his celebration. Lashley brags about beating the biggest and strongest opponent he has ever faced. He knew he had to wait for Omos to make a mistake and that is exactly what happened. Cue Omos to shout that he wants a rematch….and MVP turns on Lashley to help Omos beat him down. There’s a twist and it makes sense, as Lashley is a face anyway and doesn’t need someone to talk for him.

Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan make up in the back, as Ripley has gotten them a Tag Team Title shot next week. Thank you for rendering a stipulation completely worthless in about an hour and a half.

Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler

Byron Saxton has a blast reminding Corey Graves that Carmella and Zelina lost their Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania. Actually hold on, as Zelina says Carmella is obsessed with a man who is a fool for wanting to marry her. Zelina: “However, he is a VERY handsome man!” That’s too far for Carmella, who mocks her for only winning the Queen’s Crown tournament. Zelina was going to be in the wedding as the maid of honor, but now she can be a flower girl. The fight is on, with Carmella running over to Graves as Zelina leaves. Carmella kisses him in relief. No match, as Natalya and Baszler never appeared.

We recap Pat McAfee beating Austin Theory at Wrestlemania, only to love to Vince McMahon. Then Steve Austin came out to do Steve Austin things.

Austin Theory isn’t happy with the loss and tells the Usos he’s ready to take his anger out on RKBro and Finn Balor.

RKBro/Finn Balor vs. Austin Theory/Usos

Balor shoulders Jimmy down to start and stomps away. Riddle comes in to kick at the arm and grab a front facelock. That’s broken up so Theory comes in, only to be backdropped to the floor. Riddle kicks him in the face but the springboard Floating Bro is blocked as we take a break.

Back with Riddle fighting his way out of a chinlock but getting caught with a pop up neckbreaker for two. Riddle manages a jumping knee to the face and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house. The hanging DDT is loaded up on Jey but Theory makes a blind tag and hits a rolling dropkick. Balor tags himself in as well but misses the Coup de Grace. We hit the parade of finishers, with Riddle being superkicked out of the air. Balor hits Jimmy with the Sling Blade, only to walk into the ATL for the pin at 8:14.

Rating: B-. Pretty easily the best match on the show so far as the star power involved helped a lot. That being said, I believe this is the third time that Theory has pinned Balor in as many weeks and I can’t say I’m surprised in the slightest. The US Title has long since stopped meaning anything and this is another good reason as to why. Just let Theory win the title already because WWE actually seems interested in doing something with him.

Here is Edge for a big chat. Edge says he is an honest man. He knew he would beat AJ Styles but he didn’t know Damian Priest would come out to help him. Edge knew that these people would be sheep just like he said they would. Fans: “WE ARE SHEEP!” Edge: “Very telling idiots.” The fans need to rise for the man who respects Edge’s message and the punishment for the guilty: Damian Priest.

After a handshake, Edge asks what got through to Priest over the last few weeks. The fans say they don’t care, but Priest says that doesn’t bother him anymore. Priest says he spent a long time trying to please everyone else, but that made it so easy to pledge his loyalty to Edge. They came to their new reality at the same time, which leads Edge to AJ Styles. He wanted the pitbull AJ Styles and that’s what he got. The thing with pitbulls is that they pick fight over flight, but AJ needs to think of his family.

Cue Styles for the brawl, including taking out Priest and sending Edge into the post. Styles grabs some chairs but Priest gets up, allowing Edge to take Styles down. The Conchairto is loaded up but referees and agents make the save. I can go with the feud continuing, especially if Priest and Edge bring in some friends to uneven the odds even further.

Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy

The Academy jump them from behind to start and the fight is on. Cue Adam Pearce to say let’s make this a Texas Tornado match, which works for the Profits (and lets Corey Graves say “You want to get nuts? Let’s get nuts.” from Batman for some reason). Ford hits the big flip dive onto the Academy on the floor but it’s Otis coming back in to power away.

Dawkins fires off rights and lefts in the corner, leaving Gable to fisherman’s suplex Ford for two. They pair off and we take a break with the fights continuing. Back with Otis loading up the table but he and Dawkins fall to the floor. Ford goes up top but gets crotched by Gable. A superplex is loaded up but Ford shoves him off and hits the frog splash through the table for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C. The Texas Tornado stuff felt tagged on but maybe they realized that the crowd needed to be woken up a bit. This was late in the show and the fans weren’t exactly feeling it at this point but at least they got something energized here. If nothing else, watching Ford do his big jumps and dives is fun and that’s what the show needed.

Here is the Bloodline for the big show closing as they take their time getting to the ring. Roman Reigns says he knows why the people are here but wants Paul Heyman to explain the Bloodline’s success. Heyman lists off the team’s accomplishments, with a focus on Reigns’ box office successes of course. Reigns calls himself the last needle mover because he is always operating at the highest level. He isn’t hanging his hat on this weekend because he is constantly moving forward. This Friday on Smackdown, you’ll find out the next step. Until then, acknowledge him. End of show.

That’s an interesting way to go, as they didn’t really say anything. Maybe they have something planned for Smackdown, but this was ten minutes to say “Reigns won, he’s great, see you Friday.” I’m not sure if that means anything, but it’s quite the wait for nothing substantial.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to think on this one. On one hand, it was an improvement over previous years as SOMETHING happened on the Raw after Wrestlemania. On the other hand, it wasn’t exactly interesting stuff. Elias’ younger brother? Veer Mahaan? Breakker wins a title that isn’t on this show? MVP is now with Omos?

It’s ok, but it isn’t something that is going to have my attention for very long. Maybe something gets better next week, but this wasn’t exactly making me want to see where things are going. Cody felt strong and that’s about it. Not a terrible show, but they need something hot and this wasn’t it in the slightest.

After the show was over, Cody Rhodes beat Kevin Owens with the Cross Rhodes in a dark match. Rhodes thanked the fans and talked about how surreal it was to be back to end the night.

Results
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley – Elevated Codebreaker to Morgan
Miz b. Dominik Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale
Bron Breakker b. Dolph Ziggler – Gorilla press powerslam
Usos/Austin Theory b. RKBro/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor
Street Profits b. Alpha Academy – Frog splash to Gable through a table

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 1, 2022: And That’s Why I Wasn’t There

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that could mean a few things. On one hand, it means we could be in for the last big push before the biggest show of the year, which means an exciting night. On the other hand, it could be WWE putting in as little effort as possible as they have more important things on their minds. Knowing WWE, I’ll go with the latter almost every time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a video package on Andre the Giant to hype up his namesake battle royal.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Cedric Alexander, Ivar, Erik, Madcap Moss, Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Mansoor, Shanky, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Damian Priest, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Finn Balor

This field is lame even by this match’s standards. Only Ziggler, Roode and Balor get entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa being eliminated, followed by Reggie, who makes the dumb choice of flipping around on the apron. There goes R-Truth, followed by Mahal, the latter of whom goes out at the hands of the Vikings. Benjamin knees T-Bar out and it’s time to start brawling near the ropes. Moss knocks Gulak out as I continue not remembering that Gulak works here.

Cue Happy Corbin to praise Moss but almost low bridges him out by mistake when Balor reverses a whip into the ropes. Ciampa sends Moss to the floor but this time Corbin makes the save. Corbin leaves so it’s time to settle down again. Crews knocks out Alexander and Azeez gets rid of Benjamin. Mansoor’s slingshot neckbreaker is blocked and Ciampa knees him out. The Vikings eliminate Crews but get tossed by Shanky and Azeez, leaving them with the giant showdown.

They fight near the ropes and both get tossed out, leaving us with Priest, Balor, Roode, Moss, Ciampa and Ziggler. Balor and Priest remember that they had a feud for a bit and slug it out until Balor tosses him out. Roode puts Ciampa on the apron and Ziggler hits the superkick for the elimination to get us down to four. That leaves Balor to clean house but he can’t get rid of Roode. Ziggler goes to help Roode but Moss tosses Ziggler and Roode. Balor charges at Moss and gets sent out to give Moss the win at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was every lame battle royal you’ve seen and that is what the Andre battle royal seems to be. It’s everyone without stuff going on at Wrestlemania being added in to a match on TV, which doesn’t make it feel special. Instead, this feels like a match that WWE has to do and picks a random person to win. Moss is part of a bad angle with Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre, but it isn’t like the match has any history or importance for the most part.

Post match Moss celebrates his win but asks what you should call a battle royal with the smartest Texans. A CATTLE royal!

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Humberto vs. Angel

Ricochet is defending because this is what the title has become these days. Angel and Humberto share an entrance and their chyron says Los Lotharios, which is a bit of a weird way to set up a triple threat. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start, with Angel biting his finger. The obvious double teaming begins and Ricochet gets caught with a running knee to the face. Ricochet fights up and manages a double hurricanrana, because that’s something people can do. Angel catches him on top with a super armdrag though and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet having to fight off the numbers game again, which allows the double teaming to take him down. Humberto nails a spinwheel kick for two, which doesn’t sit well with Angel. The Wing Clipper is loaded up but Humberto rolls Angel up for another near fall as greed enters the equation.

Ricochet uses the distraction to crossbody them down, setting up a rolling dropkick to Angel. The standing shooting star press gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Humberto gets backdropped to the floor and an enziguri drops Angel. Ricochet drops Humberto onto Angel, setting up the 630. That’s not enough so Ricochet goes straight to Humberto with the Recoil for the pin to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The action was ok, but the fact that it was a relief to see Ricochet beat a tag team to retain the Intercontinental Title tells you everything you need to know. Ricochet at least comes off as a winner to save the slightest bit of face, but he needs a lot more to make up some of the last few weeks. Now he can move on to a singles challenger, but him sitting on the sidelines might be best for both himself and the title at the moment, as WWE doesn’t seem to know any better.

Long video on Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Owens wanted a way to Wrestlemania so he challenged Austin to come on the KO Show. One day Owens remembered that he hated Texas and started insulting it so he wants the embodiment of Texas to show up. Austin responded from what looked to be some road out in the wilderness, which sends us into the Austin highlight reel set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock because 90s.

Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Non-title with Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley and Natalya/Shayna Baszler at ringside. Carmella kicks Banks to the floor to start, allowing her to get in some dancing. Zelina hits some running knees in the corner and Carmella is back in for a chinlock. That’s broken up and Banks gets in a shot to the face, allowing her to get over to Naomi for the tag. With Carmella dispatched, a Vader Bomb hits Zelina and Naomi adds the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. This was about as filler of a match as you can get as they were thrown out there to set up a match that isn’t going to have much interest no matter what they do. The Women’s Tag Team Titles continue to be absolutely nothing and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing two days before their Wrestlemania title defense. Nothing match with nothing teams getting ready for a nothing match. Why is this a surprise these days?

Ronda Rousey was training earlier today (appeared to be with Shayna Baszler) and insisted that she was controlling her anger. She’ll be seeing her baby before the show, where she’ll rip off Charlotte’s arm.

Video on Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey, looking at their respective in-ring/cage careers. Both dominated their sports and now it is a clash of the two titans, which would have been a bit better had they not already had a Wrestlemania match. It is also presented as a battle of holds, with the armbar/ankle lock vs. the Figure Eight. In other words, this sounds better in theory than it has been in reality.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She praises the video and says it was more dramatic than Coda. She is going to destroy Rousey and, after mocking the WHAT chants by suggesting they are saying WOO, Charlotte declares herself cool. Every woman wants to be like her and every man just wants her. Having people want her autograph and pictures is cool, just like leaving Wrestlemania as the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Video on Roman reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. I believe they’re fighting soon or something.

Rick Boogs plays Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring so Pat McAfee gets on the announcers’ table….but Austin Theory trips him up. McAfee gives chase to the back, where Theory runs into Vince McMahon’s office. That slows McAfee down but he kicks the door open, with Vince coming out and threatening to fire him. McAfee seems worried and goes back to commentary.

Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso

Shinsuke Nakamura and Jey Uso are here too and McAfee is back on commentary. Boogs curls Uso to start before throwing him down. Jimmy is right back up with a whip to send Boogs into the post to cut him down but Boogs manages to gorilla press Jimmy….from his knees. Boogs stands up and drops him into a fall away slam, because that’s something a person can do. Cue Theory to grab a cup of ice from a fan and throw it at McAfee, who manages to keep his cool. Cue Finn Balor to go after Theory so all six get in the ring for the double DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D+. That gorilla press alone was worth seeing but that’s all they had in such a short match. Normally I would have an issue with WWE doing so many things in one match, but this is a bit of a weird situation. Balor vs. Theory is a feud that has been going on in recent weeks, though Balor isn’t even on Wrestlemania. I’m not sure why they are building feuds for beyond Wrestlemania, but we seem to be ready for a six man tag here to keep it going even further.

Usos/Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Joined in progress with Nakamura getting two on Jey. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets one but a quick shot allows Jey to get over to Theory. Nakamura knees Theory in the ribs as McAfee is VERY pleased with the fans not liking Theory. Boogs comes in and grabs the rotating back and forth gutwrench suplex for two.

It’s off to Balor, who gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Jey to put him down. The villains glare down at McAfee and we take a break. Back with Jimmy missing a splash in the corner but Jey knocks Boogs off the apron to cut off a tag attempt. Balor hits the basement dropkick to rock Jimmy though and it’s a double diving tag to Nakamura and Theory. Nakamura gets to clean house, including a kick to Theory’s head and the sliding German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Boogs is sent hard into the steps. Balor comes in to clothesline Theory to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. The Sling Blade connects back inside and it’s the shotgun dropkick to knock him down again. A distraction lets Theory break up the Coup de Grace though and the ATL finishes Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C. I knew this was coming and I still cringed at the pinfall. For the life of me I don’t get why WWE feels the need to do this, but if Theory isn’t US Champion by the end of the next pay per view (at the VERY latest), this is another entry on the long list of stupid things WWE has done. The US Champion shouldn’t be losing most of the time, but this is what, three or so falls he has taken to set up a match he isn’t even in? It’s another case of WWE feeling like they are trying to make things worse for someone they seem interested in pushing. Only WWE, thank goodness.

Post match McAfee gets on the apron to stare Theory down but he manages to keep his composure.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk, complete with a table to hold Angela the sword. Moss brags about winning the Andre the Giant battle royal earlier, but Corbin says he was supposed to do that. Corbin is euphoric and thinks that could be his new name. We look at how he got the sword and Corbin brags about everything he has done at Wrestlemania over the years.

The sword is more of an insurance policy and he could decapitate someone with the thing. How depressing is it to name the sword after McIntyre’s dead mother? Corbin: “What does Drew McIntyre’s sword and his mother have in common? He lost them both.” Cue McIntyre, who knocks Moss out with one shot on the way to the ring. McIntyre grabs a chair and throws it at Corbin’s head (that was smart), causing the sword to fall down. The set is cleared out and McIntyre cuts the table in half.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Back in the ring, McIntyre stable the mat a few times to make fire and pyro go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh they didn’t care. It was clear that this was designed to be a way to have a show before Wrestlemania and nothing more. None of the matches were good and a lot of this was about hyping things up. This has been the case for a pretty long time now and that reputation is why I was at other shows on Friday night and the only part I saw that night was at a restaurant between other events. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather that it was unimportant and WWE didn’t care. That’s as bad of a feeling that you can have and it was on in full display this week.

Results
Madcap Moss won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Finn Balor
Ricochet b. Angel and Humberto – Recoil to Humberto
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Carmella/Queen Zelina – Split legged moonsault to Zelina
Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso went to a double DQ when Jey Uso and Shinsuke Nakamura interfered
Austin Theory/Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two: Leftovers Aren’t Very Good

Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two
Date: April 3, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 78,453
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith
America The Beautiful: Jesse James Decker

We’re back for night two and that means the other half of the card gets their chance (plus one match from the original night because of timing issues). The main event is the latest biggest match ever as Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar have their unification match to make one World Title for all of…eh maybe they make it to Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

Note that I was in attendance for this show, sitting in the third level off the floor in the end zone corner with the stage on my right.

Jesse Jane Decker sings America the Beautiful.

We get a recap from last night.

Mark Wahlberg narrates the opening video, but unlike last year it’s a fresh one for the second night. Wahlberg talks about how it is tough to do it again so we’re running Wrestlemania back. He hypes up the main event to wrap it up. Again, just having a star do this makes it feel more important.

Here is HHH for a surprise appearance to get things going. After taking a long time to soak it all in (fair) and hugging his daughters in the front row (also fair), he puts his boots in the middle of the ring to confirm his. He does have one thing for us though: WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA! More daughter hugging ensues.

Gable Steveson is presented to the crowd. Again.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

RKBro is defending and these teams have been fighting back and forth for weeks. The champs also have what sounds like a mash up of their themes and that isn’t the best idea. Ford, Riddle and Gable start things off, with the latter giving us some SHUSHING. That doesn’t go well for Riddle, who knocks Gable outside and rolls Ford up for an early two. Ford is back with a running clothesline to drop Riddle but Gable is back in to go after Ford as well.

Everything breaks down and Otis clears the ring without much trouble. The six way staredown leads to three brawls at once but quickly settles down to Ford vs. Gable. That works for Ford, who hits a HUGE running flip dive over the top onto the pile. Gable adds a moonsault onto the same pile and everyone is down on the floor. Back in and Otis runs Riddle over before hitting a splash for no cover, which doesn’t seem to be the best idea. Instead Otis knocks Riddle into the corner and brings Gable back in for two off a northern lights suplex.

Ford comes in with a dropkick to Gable, who monkey flips him over and onto Ford’s own face for two. It’s off to Dawkins to clean house and cover Riddle for two, with Otis hitting a splash to break it up. Riddle knees his way out of an ankle lock and gives Dawkins a Bro To Sleep (that’ll get some reactions), allowing the hot tag off to Orton. Everything breaks down and Orton drops Gable and Dawkins onto the announcers’ table.

Back in and RKBro hits stereo hanging DDTs onto the Profits but the Academy makes stereo saves. The Academy hits a Steiner Bulldog for two on Ford but Otis’ Vader Bomb is broken up. The Profits get Gable up for a Doomsday Blockbuster and another near fall as the fans declare this awesome. Orton can’t RKO Dawkins, who gives him the Sky High. Ford goes up for the frog splash but Riddle springboards in with the RKO to pull him back down. Orton pulls Gable out of the air with another RKO for the pin to retain the titles at 11:30.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as the fans love RKBro and the action made it a very entertaining match. It also didn’t overstay its welcome and got out after getting its stuff in. RKBro retaining works here, but that split is coming and it is going to be a heck of a hot feud if they do it right.

Post match the Profits offer RKBro some yum yum juice, but hold on as Gable Steveson is invited in too. Chad doesn’t like that and cuts them off, slapping the cup from Steveson’s hand. That’s too far for everyone else, so Chad is left alone with Steveson. The belly to belly suplex sends Chad flying and drinking ensues. Steveson had to start somewhere.

Remember last night? It happened.

Omos vs. Bobby Lashley

Omos issued a challenge and Lashley accepted it. Lashley’s kick to the ribs is easily blocked and Omos forearms him down without much trouble. Lashley fights back and tries a suplex, which doesn’t work either. A head vice is broken up so Omos forearms Lashley down again. Some running splashes in the corner connect but Omos misses another one, allowing Lashley to try a failed Hurt Lock attempt.

Omos gives him a gorilla press drop and tells Lashley to get up so the bearhug can go on. A drive into the corner sets up another bearhug but Lashley slugs his way out. More slugging sets up a suplex to drop Omos and a spear to the back does it again. The regular spear finishes for Lashley at 6:32.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? You build Omos up as this unstoppable force and then just have him lose clean in a six and a half minute match? Lashley getting a big win is nice to see and he’s probably in the title picture already, but Omos losing is going to take away just about everything he had. He’ll be around, probably as a bodyguard again, but if they want him as a singles guy (which they might not), this was bizarre. It wasn’t a very good match either, as Omos did a bunch of basic power guy stuff which is hardly interesting.

WWE does charity stuff.

We recap Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn. Knoxville decided he wanted to wrestle but Zayn didn’t like it. This set off a way of pranks/general annoyances, including Zayn eliminating Knoxville from the Royal Rumble and Knoxville putting Zayn’s phone number on a banner in Los Angeles. A match must ensue.

Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn

Anything goes and some of Knoxville’s Jackass friends are in the front row (popular place to be tonight). Zayn wastes no time in hitting the Helluva Kick and knocking Knoxville to the floor where more stomping can ensue. That isn’t enough as Zayn goes after the Jackass crew, allowing Knoxville to spray him with a fire extinguisher. Knoxville busts out some of the weapons but Zayn hits him in the back with the cookie sheet.

A crutch shot does it again and Zayn throws a trashcan at him for two, allowing commentary to get in some Sanford And Sons references. It’s table time…but this one has mousetraps all over it, because of course it does. That takes too long though and Knoxville is back with some trashcan lids to the head. A regular table is loaded up in the corner but Zayn suplexes him through it for two.

The Helluva Kick is cut off by a blast from an air horn, allowing….some other Jackass guy (Party Boy Pawnius?) to come in and take his clothes off. Zayn knocks him outside and kicks him underneath the ring, only to have Wee Man (he’s small) come out and beat Zayn up. Wee Man kicks away at Zayn and hits a slam, setting up a tornado DDT from Knoxville for two. It’s time to bring out something that appears to be a way to launch a boot for automatic low blows, meaning Zayn fights out to break it up.

Zayn goes up but Knoxville pulls out a remote to make pyro go out, causing Zayn to crotch himself. Knoxville grabs a bowling ball to crush Zayn low in the corner and now its taser time. Zayn runs…right into a giant hand which slaps him down. That’s too much for Zayn as he drops Knoxville and goes up, only to get crotched and thrown through the mousetrap table. Back in and Knoxville busts out….a giant mousetrap. Zayn is tased onto it and, after some effort, Knoxville gets it to go off and crush Zayn for the pin at 14:25 (ignore Zayn’s shoulders being on the trap rather than the mat).

Rating: C+. This is going to be a weird one. You know what this felt like? Home Alone as a wrestling match. Zayn was trying to do something but Knoxville busted out so many elaborate traps and pranks (read as violence) to stop him at every turn. Of course Knoxville’s friends were here as they should have been in a situation like this, but it’s much more a big stunt show than a match.

It’s also a good case of something not being for me but having an impact. The stadium was ROCKING during this match and the energy was very high. I don’t watch Jackass and the concept is REALLY not something I care for but the reaction was there and that is why these guys were brought in. Whether it made business sense is hard to tell, but a lot of the fans loved this and that is enough to carry it beyond….whatever it was.

Remember Drew McIntyre beating Happy Corbin and cutting the ropes up with his sword? It happened last night.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina

Carmella/Zelina are defending and Naomi/Banks come out in a VERY expensive looking car. Ripley/Morgan have a Batman or Catwoman theme going to at least have something in common. Corey wastes no time in praising Carmella, who is in part of a wedding dress for her entrance gear.

Carmella masks up so Ripley wants to face her. That brings Carmella in but she hands it off to Banks, who actually tries a test of strength with Ripley. With that not working, Banks tries a Backstabber, which falls apart too. Everything breaks down and some dives leave us with Banks vs. Morgan. A Codebreaker staggers Banks and Oblivion drops her but Natalya tags herself in for a save. Baszler comes in to stomp on Morgan’s ankle until an enziguri breaks it up.

Carmella tags herself in as well and everything breaks down and it’s time for the parade of finishers. Ripley’s superbomb is countered into a hurricanrana from Carmella and we get stereo Towers of Doom out of the corners, leaving everyone down again. Back up and Morgan knocks Naomi into Riptide for two with a save being made.

Baszler’s running knee to Naomi’s face gets two with Morgan making the save this time. Carmella superkicks Baszler and Naomi for two each, meaning screaming ensues. Back up and Naomi kicks Carmella in the face, setting up Banks’ frog splash for two. Banks hits a Meteora to drop Zelina on the floor and Naomi elevates Carmella for a Codebreaker from Banks for the pin and the titles at 10:48.

Rating: D+. This was all over the place and as usual, there is no reason to care about these teams. They were thrown together and given next to no story other than “we want the titles too”. I was having trouble remembering who was on what team as they might as well have drawn names from a hat. In other words, it’s a WWE Women’s Tag Team Title match.

Remember Miz and Logan Paul beating the Mysterios and then splitting up after? It happened last night.

Some Dallas Cowboys are here to a mixed reaction.

We recap Edge vs. AJ Styles. Edge wanted someone to step up so Styles did, with Edge saying he wanted the bulldog version of Styles. Then Edge went nuts and beat down Styles with a Conchairto, putting Styles out of action for a few weeks. Now Styles is back for revenge.

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Styles comes to the ring with a pretty nasty cut on the side of his face that has commentary (and me) confused. Edge appears on an elevated throne sitting on a slightly burning platform, which is at least a cool visual (though I thought it was a statue in the stadium). Styles backs him into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. The drop down into the dropkick sets up some armdrags to put Edge in trouble and some kicks to the leg make it worse.

We settle down a bit with some staring before Edge gets sent to the floor. That lets Styles hit a sliding knee but the springboard 450 only hits knees back inside. Edge starts going after the ribs as the pace slows down a lot. The abdominal stretch is broken up but Edge takes him down with a shoulder breaker to change up the pace. Styles hits a right hand but seems to have to stop and pop his shoulder back in. A suplex sends Edge hard into the corner and they’re both down again.

Edge grabs a double arm crank but has to avoid the Styles Clash. That works out well enough for him though as it’s off to an STF to put Styles in more trouble, though he’s straight over to the rope. A slingshot DDT plants Edge for two, though he’s fine enough to catch Styles on top. Styles slips out and gets a torture rack, which he swings over into a powerbomb for two more. Back up and Styles snaps off a German suplex and they’re both down again.

Styles wins the slugout and adds a Pele kick, setting up the Calf Crusher. Edge reverses that into the Crossface so Styles gets to the ropes again. A slingshot Batista Bomb gives Edge two so they both go up top. This time Styles superplexes him down onto the apron, because WE MUST HAVE AN APRON SPOT.

Now the springboard 450 connects on Edge’s back for a delayed two and they need a breather. Back up and Edge misses the spear, setting up the Styles Clash for two more. With nothing else working, the Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up….and here is Damian Priest for a distraction. Styles tries the Forearm but gets speared out of the air to give Edge the pin at 24:32.

Rating: B-. The action was good, but there were so many delays between that action that it was hard to build anything up. It felt like a main event level match and Styles was hardly crushed, but the Saturday version was much better with Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes doing a similar match. This was by no means bad, but it needed to be about eight minutes shorter to cut out a lot of the down time between moves.

Post match Edge and Priest stare at each other, pose and then leave together.

Tonight’s attendance is 78,453, though the announcer says 77,453. Get it together people.

Sheamus/Ridge Holland vs. New Day

Butch is here with the villains. We see the Big E. injury during the entrances, which isn’t something that should be aired that often (by which I mean ever). In a great touch, New Day wears Big E. style singlets, even in the colors Big E. was wearing when he won the WWE Title. Sheamus and Holland jump them during the entrances and rip off the coats, leaving Butch to throw them around.

Trouble in Paradise hits Holland for two at the bell but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus has to keep Butch from going nuts though, leaving Woods to drop Holland. The Brogue Kick drops Kingston and Butch distracts the referee so Sheamus can Brogue Woods as well. Holland’s Northern Grit finishes woods at 1:39. So Holland (unintentionally) injures Big E. and then gets the pin here, as Butch is now some near feral boy? Right.

Post match Butch has to be pulled off of Woods again, because Pete Dunne is now a crazy man who needs supervision.

Remember when Cody Rhodes returned and beat Seth Rollins? It happened last night.

We honor the Hall of Fame inductees again…including the Undertaker coming out to wave to the crowd. This is the same thing he did last night and here it is again. On a show that is going to be about eight hours combined over two nights, this gets five minutes.

You can bet on the main event!

You can buy Undertaker gear!

You can watch Yellowstone on Peacock!

Long recap of Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory, which was set up when Vince McMahon told McAfee he could have a match. Then Theory started messing with McAfee, who got serious. For some reason, this required Theory to beat both the United States and Intercontinental Champion but show no interest in winning either title. We do get some very cool clips of McAfee training before he came to WWE, just because he wanted to. That’s some serious dedication, and a Rip Rogers cameo always helps.

Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee

Vince McMahon comes out to introduce Theory, his new….protege? I guess? McAfee on the other hand gets an introduction from the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and even punts a football into the crowd during his entrance. McAfee punches him down to start but Theory comes out of the corner with a shot to the throat. A jumping elbow out of the corner and a hurricanrana get McAfee out of trouble as Vince isn’t pleased at ringside.

Theory is back with a snap suplex and then he does it again for a bonus. The third attempt is blocked though and McAfee hits one of his own. They go outside where McAfee does the Rock’s commentary on his own match bit, including a mention of his parents. Back in and McAfee takes WAY too long setting up a Swanton and crashes down hard.

Theory goes up top but McAfee cuts him off and tries a superplex. That’s broken up so McAfee backflips off the top and lands on his feet, only to jump back to the top for the superplex (dang) and a near fall as Cole is WAY behind McAfee here. The Punt misses though and Theory knocks him down again. Theory loads up the ATL…and gets reversed into a rollup to give McAfee the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. That’s on quite the sliding scale as McAfee is in his third WWE match and hasn’t been in the ring in well over a year. I know Theory is going to be fine and it’s a special situation, but this doesn’t exactly make him pinning Finn Balor and Ricochet look very worthwhile. Again though, the fans were WAY into this and that’s all that matters in this case. Not a great match, but McAfee has put in the work and looked competent out there.

Post match Vince glares at Theory and looks up at McAfee….who challenges McMahon for a fight right now. Vince takes off the jacket and shirt, revealing his signature wrestling look (which matches McAfee). Cole is panicking as Vince gets in the ring but then gets even worse when a referee shows up.

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

Austin Theory jumps McAfee from behind to start so McMahon hits some clotheslines. McAfee gets fired up though and stares at Vince…until Austin pulls him down and crotches him against the post. Theory isn’t done though as he throws Vince a football. Vince teases punting it into the crowd before punting it into McAfee’s ribs (that didn’t really work, though I don’t think it was supposed to be anything more than a final insult) for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D+. This was barely a match (Vince wasn’t touched) and I thought about not even rating it. McAfee gets cheated out of the win but much like last night in the main event, the point of this is having him in the same ring as a legend like McMahon. This is probably going to be (and should be) Vince’s last match ever so there is definitely some awesome historical significance, but it was just Vince hitting some clotheslines and taunting. That being said, WHY DID THEY NOT ANNOUNCE THIS IN ADVANCE??? At least Austin made it clear that a fight was coming, but Vince wasn’t even listed in Theory’s corner.

Post match Theory gets to pose and we have the big hug. Theory’s music starts and Vince panics, which is a warmup for CUE GLASS SHATTER as Steve Austin is here (as you might have guessed). Theory goes after him and gets punched into the corner to set up the Stunner. That leaves Austin alone with Vince, meaning it’s time to get scared. Beer is offered though and Vince accepts, despite looking terrified.

They drink together until Austin tries the Stunner, which goes horribly, horribly wrong. Vince basically falls down and then into the ropes, bounces back, and then goes down first, leaving Austin to land on Vince’s legs. Look this up, as it was so bad that I was unable to speak from laughter. Austin has some beers with McAfee, who gets Stunned as well. The big beer bash is on, with McAfee being shown sneaking in a drink while down on the floor. This was one more farewell for Austin, though it’s a good thing the timekeeper had that much beer around.

Remember when Bianca Belair beat Becky Lynch to win the Raw Women’s Title in a pretty great match? It happened last night.

Wrestlemania XXXIX is in Los Angeles.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar in the World Title unification match. They have been fighting for months (this time, as it’s really more like years) and now it is decided that there can only be one World Champion. Reigns and the Usos laid Lesnar out in Madison Square Garden to make this even more serious/personal. What better place than right here?

Universal Title/WWE Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner take all and Reigns has Paul Heyman with him for a very long entrance. Reigns also gets to tell Wrestlemania to acknowledge him so we can get in another catchphrase before we actually start. Hold on again as we need Big Match intros, with Heyman and Lesnar taking care of the work.

Lesnar hammers away to start and drives Reigns into the corner for some shoulders to ribs. Three overhead belly to belly suplexes have Reigns in more trouble and they head outside. That means Heyman has to panic (Heyman: “I love you! It was all Reigns’ idea!”), which is enough of a distraction for Reigns to sear Lent through the barricade (as tends to happen a lot). Back in and Reigns hits the spear for two, followed by the Superman Punch.

That’s too far for Lesnar, who starts rolling the released German suplexes. Lesnar is holding his ribs, but keeps coming back because this is serious. Another German suplex is countered into another Superman Punch and Lesnar is rocked again. Reigns tries another spear but gets reversed into the F5 for two more.

Another F5 is countered with a rake to the eyes and Reigns knocks Lesnar into the referee. A low blow and belt shot cut Lesnar down for two and frustration is setting in. The spear hits Lesnar in the back so Reigns tries it again, only to get pulled into the Kimura. The rope (which is shoved forward by Heyman) is grabbed for the break but they’re both down. Reigns says it’s out, meaning his shoulder, but comes back with a spear for the pin and the unified titles at 12:14.

Rating: C+. This was a slightly extended version of the stereotypical match that these guys have. You had an exchange of finishers and then someone won, which might be a bit exciting but has been done to death in recent years. Reigns winning was hardly a surprise, but it would have been nicer to see it come in a match with some more drama or intrigue instead of the same formula Lesnar has used for so long.

Reigns poses with Heyman and the titles as Lesnar glares at them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t a disaster like last year’s night two, but this was just ok for the most part. The biggest flaw should be obvious: the amount of time that this show spends on recaps or ANYTHING but getting to the matches advertised. I don’t need to see the matches from last night in fairly long recaps, as I was there to see the show live. Contrary to what WWE thinks, it might be a good idea to cut some things out, but that might not let them fill in so much time that they can brag about later.

As for the wrestling itself, nothing really stands out. There are some good matches, but nothing that is really worth going out of your way to see (your individual mousetrap enjoyment may vary). The show felt like such a rehash of last night, with Austin and Undertaker getting that much time each. It isn’t terrible, but I had fun with the first night and this felt like a followup that you didn’t need to watch.

Overall Overall Rating: B-. Overall, the lesson here continues to be simple: Wrestlemania does not need to be a two night event as WWE does not have the amount of content necessary to make it work. There is SO MUCH FILLER on here that it feels like it could have been trimmed down by about four hours. They hit about eight hours combined, and that isn’t even counting in the four hours of Kickoff Shows.

Now that being said, there is more than enough good in here to make it a show worth seeing (or at least flipping through). This year was all about Austin, Undertaker and McMahon, with Reigns vs. Lesnar feeling almost secondary to what Austin was doing. That won’t sit well with some, but the atmosphere for Austin makes up for so much. Trim it down and it’s great, but as it is, it’s just good.

Results
RKBro b. Street Profits and Alpha Academy – RKO to Gable
Bobby Lashley b. Omos – Spear
Johnny Knoxville b. Sami Zayn – Knoxville pinned Zayn while he was trapped in a giant mousetrap
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley, Natalya/Shayna Baszler and Carmella/Queen Zelina – Elevated Codebreaker to Carmella
Edge b. AJ Styles – Spear
Ridge Holland/Sheamus b. New Day – Northern Grit to Woods
Pat McAfee b. Austin Theory – Rollup
Vince McMahon b. Pat McAfee – Football to the ribs
Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar – Spear

 

 

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