Forgotten Giants Of The Ring
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jim Ross, Kevin Kelly, Dusty Rhodes, Chris Cruise, Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Carlos Cabrera, Hugo Savinovich, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

So the WWE Vault is doing Giants Week this week and well, the title kind of speaks for itself in this case. I’m not sure what to expect, though the term “forgotten” gets thrown around pretty easily in things like this. Hopefully it winds up being a nice collection of surprises, but you never know with this stuff. Let’s get to it.

From NXT, June 22, 2010.

Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood

Cottonwood is 7’ and he’s forgotten for a reason. Kaval (better known as Low Ki) tries to kick his way out of trouble to start and is quickly thrown into the corner. A bearhug has Kaval in more trouble but he slips out and goes to the middle rope to kick away. Cottonwood misses a clothesline that was eight inches above Kaval’s head and throws him over the top (well mostly over).

Kaval gets in another kick to the head and a springboard double stomp to the back of the head connects for two. Cottonwood isn’t having that and hits his reverse chokeslam (exactly what it sounds like) for the win at 2:43. Cottonwood was terrible and you could definitely see that in full here.

From Raw, January 12, 1998.

Kurrgan vs. Jimmy Cicero/Lance Diamond

Kurrgan has the Jackyl, better known as Don Callis, with him. The team goes after him to start and get splashed in the corner for their efforts. A powerslam plants Cicero as the Jackyl is on commentary, talking about how Mike Tyson would be scared of Kurrgan if anything happens at the Royal Rumble. The claw pins Cicero and the music plays, but then we remember that Kurrgan has to beat both of them. A suplex puts Diamond down and it’s a double pin at 2:24.

Post match Kurrgan destroys a football helmet to show his strength. That’s rather effective. Jackyl slaps Kurrgan to get his attention back.

From WCW Prime, January 29, 1996.

Yeti vs. Barry Houston

So you might remember the Yeti as the mummy who did, uh, things to Hulk Hogan at Halloween Havoc 1995. Well now he’s a masked ninja and happens to still be named Yeti because WCW. Houston gets thrown around to start and hit with a backbreaker. A press slam makes it worse and Yeti chops away in the corner. Houston tries to fight back and is quickly powerslammed for the pin. This was Yeti’s long singles match on TV with the name and gimmick and it’s not hard to see why. He would eventually become Reese in Raven’s Flock to slightly (and I do mean slightly) more success.

From Smackdown, April 10, 2003.

Nathan Jones vs. Bill DeMott

I wouldn’t call DeMott forgotten. Or a giant for that matter. Jones knocks him down to start so DeMott tries a front facelock. That’s broken up with DeMott being sat on and knocked off the top. Back in and a slow motion big boot finishes for Jones at 1:20. Jones had an incredible look but my goodness he was a disaster in the ring. Just absolutely nothing at all and it’s no surprise they pulled the plug fast.

From WCW Saturday Night, July 25, 1998.

Roadblock vs. Lash LaRoux

Roadblock was a big guy who was mainly there to get beaten up by Lex Luger and Goldberg. LaRoux gets stomped down and a clothesline just annoys Roadblock. One heck of a clothesline cuts LaRoux off and Roadblock drops an elbow for two (kind of a surprising kickout). With LaRoux still mostly done, Roadblock goes to the apron and leans on to the rope for a moonsault (the Dead End) and the pin at 1:52. Roadblock wasn’t terrible but he didn’t have a ceiling anywhere above this.

From WWF Super Astros, January 10, 1999.

Giant Silva vs. JR Ryder

Silva knocks him down to start and chokes away in the corner. A boot choke keeps Ryder in trouble and his weak shots to the leg don’t make it better. Silva hits a big chokeslam….and a mini wrestlers dressed as Zorro is on the announcers’ table as Silva gets the pin at 2:48.

From WCW Worldwide, August 23, 1997.

Rick Fuller vs. Kevin Northcutt

Fuller is the giant in question here, while Northcutt would have a cup of coffee in the early days of TNA. Fuller sends him into the ropes to start and hits a spinning kick to drop the also large Northcutt. Something like a hiptoss doesn’t look very good as Northcutt goes into the corner, followed by a running clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Northcut hits a clothesline and kick to the face for two but Fuller knocks him down again. A powerbomb drops Northcutt on his hip and Fuller grabs a half crab for the win at 4:13.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, as Fuller was similar to Roadblock in that he was big but not very good. You’re only going to get so far when you’re coming up around the same time as Goldberg, and I’d bet on Fuller being one of his victims. Another nothing match in a series of them, even with this one getting a bit more time.

From Smackdown, November 20, 2003.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Moore slugs away to start and has his headscissors cut off with pure power. The beating is on, with Morgan hammering him down and adding a big boot. The beal sends Moore flying and a second sends him over the top to the floor. Morgan throws him back inside for two and finishes with a spinning powerbomb at 2:48. Morgan is pretty easily the best of the giants thus far.

From Monday Nitro, February 19, 1996.

Alex Wright vs. Loch Ness

Ness (better known as Giant Haystacks in England) is over 600lbs and shoves Wright down as quickly as you would expect. Wright’s dropkicks don’t get him anywhere so he tries a sleeper. That’s reversed into a bearhug but Wright gets out again. Some more shots just annoy Ness, who swats him out of the corner. The elbow finishes at 2:28.

From Thunder, June 4, 1998.

Reese vs. Van Hammer

The rest of the Flock is here with Reese as we’re getting a double appearance. Reese shoves him into the corner to start, which is rather impressive given Hammer’s size. Some big forearms have Hammer in trouble and an Irish whip, with Reese not letting go, takes him down again. A slightly delayed vertical suplex drops Hammer for two but he jawbreaks his way to freedom. Hammer slugs away and manages to drop Reese with a clothesline. Then Horace jumps up with a stop sign to the head (Schiavone: “He must have gotten that from an intersection!”), allowing Reese to hit a chokebomb for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of why Reese didn’t last long in wrestling. At some point, you need to be able to do something other than just be big and he never figured that out. Nothing to the match of course, though Schiavone’s line about the stop sign made me laugh at how ridiculous it came across.

Post match the beatdown is on to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C-. The problem here is very simple: these people were forgotten for a reason. Other than Morgan, none of them were worth much of anything at this point in their careers and it showed badly. That being said, this is also a great collection of the idea of being larger than life. You do not see people this size elsewhere and getting to see them being physical in a ring is a heck of a spectacle. Presenting a giant in the right way is hard, but if it’s done right, you can get a lot of mileage out of it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with most of these guys, though I did have fun with the flashbacks.

 

 

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Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw
Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam
Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

 

 

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WWA: The Eruption
Date: April 14, 2002 (Taped April 13, 2002)
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Disco Inferno

Back to these guys again for their third of five PPVs. It’s been about two months since the last show and we have a new world champion in the form of Nathan Jones who won the title about a week before this show. We’ve also got a vacant Cruiserweight Championship as Eddie Guerrero went back to the WWF so it’s mini tournament time! Let’s get to it.

The set looks like a volcano which is appropriate.

Sid Vicious, the commissioner now, is here and using a cane to walk.

A very confused Australian ring announcer screws up the name of the company and welcomes the announcers to the broadcast table that they’ve been at for at least three minutes now. I can understand screwing up the company name as World Wrestling Association as it’s a much more natural name.

International Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: AJ Styles vs. Nova

They slug it out to start as we can hear presumably the director talking through the headsets. Nova sends AJ into the middle buckle but AJ pops back up and runs him over with a shoulder. Nova clotheslines him down but AJ nips up into a hurricanrana to Nova back down. AJ tries another rana but Nova grabs him into a powerbomb position and does some lifts of AJ in an impressive power display before flipping him forward and onto his face for two.

Nova hooks a freaky looking three limb submission hold called Twisted Sister which only lasts for a few seconds. A BIG kick to the face gets two on Styles but Nova misses a Swanton. AJ picks up Nova for the Styles Clash (Director: “Finish.”) to advance to the title match later tonight.

Rating: C+. This was too short to be able to mean much as they were flying through this, no pun intended. The director was really distracting here as he kept talking about times and such like that. They really do need to work on fixing that as it’s really hard to ignore. Still though, good choice for an opener here as AJ would go on to become a big star in the near future.

Scott Steiner is here.

The Starettes dance a bit.

Quick video on Jerry Lynn arriving last month and attacking Eddie Guerrero.

Here’s Sid with something to say. Seeing him in a suit is a very odd sight. He said he needed to hear the fans again, which draws a pretty lame Sid chant. Sid thanks Andrew McManus, the WWA owner, for giving him this chance. He talks about sitting at home thinking he’s done in wrestling when McManus called him and asked him to come to Australia for a show.

As for Scott Steiner, he’s an amazing talent but he doesn’t want to play by the rules of the WWA. Sid officially makes him #1 contender and the match will take place tonight. He says he won’t be perfect but he’s glad to have one more shot at this. This is probably the most coherent you’ll ever hear Sid, which makes this pretty dull stuff.

International Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jerry Lynn vs. Chuck E. Chaos

Chaos is an Australian wrestler who gets a good reaction. He jumps Lynn as he comes in and pulls Jerry to the floor for springboard dive. As Chuckie comes back in, Jerry hits the spinning Fameasser and the cradle piledriver to end this in just over a minute.

Disco is having trouble with his audio and we get some bad small talk between him and Jeremy.

Puppet the midget is in the back yelling at some company guy. The audio here is terrible but I think he wants to kill his opponent Teo.

Puppet vs. Teo

Hardcore of course. Puppet runs his mouth before the match but Teo runs in to pound away. A running knee to Teo’s head in the corner is followed by a slingshot headbutt to the groin. Puppet heads to the floor to grab some chairs and here’s your out of context line of the night from Disco: “You have to pay to lick a midget?” Puppet drops Teo on three chairs set up in the middle of the ring for two. Teo hits a TKO for two before they horribly botch I think a Blockbuster.

Teo brings in a garbage can as we hear from the director again. Puppet comes back again (there’s less selling in this match than in Death of a Salesman. How’s THAT for mixing two different worlds?) with a Vader Bomb but Teo punches him down and hits a top rope Swanton bomb for two. Now Puppet is put in a trashcan while Teo pounds away with a chair. Teo brings in a ladder for a big splash onto the trashcan onto Puppet for the pin. I think this was the last midget match from this company.

Rating: D+. The hardcore stuff here kind of works for these guys. I’m still not a fan of them but at least they’re trying out there. Puppet would go on to annoy fans on TNA where he would pull a gun in one of his matches. Thankfully we’ve gotten to better midget wrestling in Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling. Not much else to say here.

Teo molests Steiner’s chick Midajah in the back.

Stevie Ray/Buff Bagwell vs. Ernest Miller/Brian Christopher

Buff and Christopher start things off with Brian dancing around like a schmuck. Instead of fighting Buff poses for a bunch of booing from the crowd. They run the ropes a lot until we get some weak hip tosses and slams. A bulldog puts Bagwell down and it’s off to Miller. Disco sums up the problem with Miller (and the future Brodus Clay) in general: If he wants someone to call his mama, why doesn’t he leave a number?

Bagwell takes Miller down with a swinging neckbreaker before it’s off to Ray for some more slow beating. The not hot tag brings in Christopher who is caught in a backbreaker and a kind of powerbomb for no cover. Off to a lame chinlock from Bagwell followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Brian hits an enziguri to set up the double tag so Miller can pound on Ray for a bit. Back to Buff who messes up a sunset flip before Miller does his gyrating. Everything breaks down and Stevie accidentally kicks Buff, allowing Christopher to hit the Hip Hop Drop for the pin on Bagwell.

Rating: D+. They took four guys and threw them into a tag match to fill in about ten minutes. While it wasn’t a good match at all and had ZERO heat from the crowd, what do you expect from guys like this? The match could only be so good given the talent in there, and it never was anything more than what it seemed like: filler.

Post match Christopher and Miller dance a bit. Thankfully the Starettes come out to join them. As do some fans. Disco: “What would Lou Thesz think right now?” Inferno can’t take anymore and tries to get in, only to be beaten up by Christopher and the kids.

Alan Funk, the Funkster, does his Hogan impression before fighting Pierre Ouellette and cutting a weird promo on the Rougeau Family.

Alan Funk vs. Quebecer Pierre

As in from the Quebecers in the early to mid 90s WWF. Before the match Pierre says he’s a former three time tag team champion of the world (take THAT Daniels fans!) before singing the Canadian national anthem. Thankfully (I think?) the Funkster breaks it up but Pierre runs him over and pounds away to start. Funk comes back with a few clotheslines but Pierre pounds him back down. The Hogan impression is decent but it’s not adding anything at all here.

Pierre runs him over again for two and hooks a sleeper. After that goes nowhere, Funk hits a springboard sunset flip for two before walking into a suplex for two for the French Canadian dude. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Funk and it’s time to Hulk Up. The big boot is blocked and Funk gets clotheslined right back down again. A running Liger Bomb sets up a Swanton Bomb for two for Pierre and now it’s the real Hulk Up time. Disco: “I know who he reminds me of now: BOBBY EATON!” They chop it out with Pierre taking over with more power stuff before the big boot and a piledriver set up the legdrop for the pin by Funk.

Rating: D. We get it: he’s a Hogan impersonator. He looks a lot like Hulk and has a few of the mannerisms down, but how much can you get out of something like this? It’s been done MANY times before and Funk really doesn’t do anything new with it. Then again it’s the same kind of thing you would expect from a mid level indy company.

Video on Nathan Jones.

Here are Steiner and Midajah to a big reaction even though he’s a heel. Scott talks about all the women he’s had in Australia and makes fun of Australian sports. Steiner offers to beat up someone from the crowd but here’s Nathan Jones to stare at Scott instead. Thankfully they’ve finally changed the design of the world title and it looks more like a traditional belt. Nathan comes to the ring but Sid (who is shorter than Jones) comes out to say save it for the main event. Steiner talks about how he broke Sid’s body and spirit so Sid says he’ll be the enforcer for the main event.

Video on the cruiserweights in the company.

International Cruiserweight Title: AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

This has a twenty minute time limit. That’s the best they can do for their secondary championship? Don’t bother trying to make it feel important or anything. They head to the mat to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Jerry avoids a dropkick and we have a standoff. Styles flips out of a wristlock to put on one of his own and they flip around a lot before both guys try armdrags at the same time, resulting in a Lynn armbar. That’s a new spot for me.

Styles escapes a monkey flip but gets clotheslined down and hit with a backbreaker for two. Off to a surfboard by Lynn followed by a spinning inverted Gory Special. AJ comes back with his moonsault DDT for two and a big kick to the head for two more. Styles tries a tornado DDT but gets caught in a northern lights suplex into the corner instead to put him right back down. AJ knocks him out to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Jerry down again as selling continues to be a foreign idea.

Back in and the dive gets two as Lynn is bleeding from the mouth a bit. The Styles Clash is countered into a rana from Jerry but AJ counters the cradle piledriver as well. We get a nice long pinfall reversal sequence with about five two counts each. Jerry finally kills AJ dead with a German suplex so Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own. Lynn hits a sitout powerbomb for two and gets the same off the cradle piledriver. Out of nowhere AJ counters a DDT and hits the Styles Clash for two of his own. AJ goes up top but gets punched in the ribs. Lynn’s superplex is broken up and the Spiral Tap gives AJ the title.

Rating: B-. This was fine for a spot fest but at the same time it felt like they were trying to have a classic rather than having one. The lack of selling was as annoying as ever with both guys taking big moves and popping right back up like it was a single chop. These two would have WAY better matches in TNA but those were a few months away.

Jerry shakes AJ’s hand post match.

A cage is lowered as we recap Devon Storm vs. Sabu. They’re both hardcore and have fought twice already. That’s about it.

Devon Storm vs. Sabu

In a cage as I said and apparently you can only win by pin here but “it doesn’t matter where the pin is”. Why do they have to over complicate these things? Storm hits a quick shoulder block to start and pounds away before Sabu comes back with a springboard DDT for two. Sabu hits a pair of springboard leg lariats for no count before Storm slams Sabu’s back into the cage twice to take over.

Sabu is busted open via another shot to the cage before Storm gets two off a top rope splash. Sabu’s back is bleeding now too. Apparently this fires him up enough to send Storm into the cage to take over. The bleeding guy finds a sharp object from somewhere and starts stabbing away at Storm’s head to bust him open as well. Sabu goes up top, only to get caught in a northern lights superplex to shift momentum again.

Devon finds a chair from somewhere to beat on Sabu with before hitting a northern lights suplex (popular move tonight) onto said chair for no cover. Storm wedges the chair between the ropes and of course gets rammed into it for his efforts. Sabu pelts the chair at Storm’s head before hitting Air Sabu in the corner. Air Sabu against the cage puts Storm down for an Arabian Facebuster but the triple jump moonsault off the cage misses completely.

A Death Valley Driver on the chair gets two for Storm so he goes to the floor (not a win) and sets up a piece of guard rail between the steps and the barricade. Sabu kicks Storm in the face on the floor as both guys are now out of the cage. Sabu pulls out a table and they slug it out a bit. Devon suplexes Sabu onto the bridged piece of railing and we stall a bit more. There’s a table set up next to the ring so Storm pulls out two more in addition to the set one.

Storm stacks another table on the set one as this has stopped being a cage match in any form. A DDT on the floor puts Sabu down for half a second and Storm puts Sabu on the top of the two tables. There’s a BIG dive off the cage to put both guys down yet again. Another table is set up back inside the cage (remember that?) but Storm throws a chair through the door to put Sabu down.

Sabu comes back with a fireball to pop the crowd huge. He puts Devon on the table and hits a moonsault off the top of the cage onto Storm….but the table doesn’t break. An Arabian Facebuster off the top of the cage is FINALLY enough to break the table and get the pin on Storm.

Rating: D. This was violence for the sake of violence which isn’t my style at all. On top of that, having the guys leave the cage is always annoying as it defeats the purpose of having a cage. The big splash through the tables looked great but other than that all we had here were the same brawling spots we’ve already seen from these guys.

The announcers talk about a sweepstakes while the cage is taken down.

Midajah vs. Queen Bea

Evening gown match. Bea is a Penthouse Pet who only had like four matches ever. They can’t wrestle, they look good in their outfits, Bea’s underwear is blue and she loses in less than two and a half minutes. The midgets come out and strip Midajah for fun.

WWA World Title: Nathan Jones vs. Scott Steiner

Scott is challenging here and punches Jones in the corner. Oh and Sid is outside enforcer. Jones beals Scott down and they collide a few times. Steiner flips Jones off which earns him another shoulder from the champion. Jones knocks Steiner to the floor so Steiner knocks Jones to the floor. The champion hits a slingshot clothesline back in for two before pounding away in the corner.

Steiner immediately comes back by shoving Jones over the top and out to the floor. Jones is whipped HARD through a barricade as we continue to hide the severe limitations of both guys. Back inside and Steiner hits a backbreaker to put Nathan down again. There are the pushups followed by some yelling at the fans by the challenger. Off to a lame bow and arrow hold by Steiner and a low blow to keep Jones down. A northern lights suplex (why is that so popular tonight?) keeps Jones in trouble so Steiner can put on…..a Sharpshooter? It’s horrible as you would expect but it’s more strange to see than bad.

We hit a bearhug from Steiner which he ends himself with an overhead belly to belly to put Jones down. Scott pounds away but Jones comes back with a side slam to get himself a breather. A clothesline sets up a very awkward looking elbow drop by the champion who follows that up by literally falling off the top rope on a clothesline attempt. Literally, he fell forward with no vertical leap at all. Jones loads up the chokeslam but Midajah jumps on his back.

Steiner stops to yell at Sid for a bit, causing Jones to try a pair of quick rollups for two. Scott pokes the champion in the eye and slams him down, only to jump into the chokeslam. Midajah makes the save so Sid loads up Midajah for the powerslam. Another referee stops him and in the melee Steiner hits Jones with a belt shot. The Steiner Recliner gives Scott via arm drops.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good at all. At the end of the day, Jones was all look and almost no substance whatsoever. As bad as he looked beforehand, the falling off the top rope turned the whole thing into an even bigger joke than it already was. Sid was only there as a means to the end of the match and added nothing else. The whole match was a clash of styles and neither guy was good enough to carry the other to anything above terrible.

Sid raises Scott’s hand post match but wants a title match later. Scott leaves without saying anything before coming back to say let’s do it right now. Sid stumbles over saying he’ll fight if he’s able. Now that’s the babbling Vicious we know and love….for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. These shows aren’t very good. Now to be fair at this point there was no TNA so this was literally the best English alternative to WWE. A lot of these guys would go on to appear in TNA but while they were here there wasn’t much to see from them. The show goes by fast but there’s absolutely nothing on here worth seeing. It isn’t terrible but it falls into that category of you see it and never think of it again after a day or so.

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