This is another request and since it’s taking forever to download some TNA shows, I figured I might as well knock some of these off in the meantime. This is the King of the Ring tournament so it’s a three hour special. Almost everything you have here is a tournament match, plus an eight man tag and a REALLY stupid other match. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going. It’s still Papa Roach.

We open with Lillian telling us that the tournament is back tonight.

King of the Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Jericho is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. There’s no bracket yet and even JR and Lawler haven’t seen them. I don’t mind a champion losing so much here as one of them gets to look stronger. This is also the go home show for Backlash, which is a show I haven’t done yet. MVP takes him to the mat to start but Jericho comes back with some knees to the head and a kick to the same area.

MVP punches him in the corner as this is off to a hot start. Jericho drapes him over the top rope and mostly misses a baseball slide to the floor. MVP catches him coming back in with a knee lift and a kind of clothesline for two. He hooks kind of a modified abdominal stretch on the mat but Jericho gets up pretty quickly. Overhead belly to belly puts Jericho down for two. They do the Flair bridge up into a backslide spot which gets a good reaction in Horsemen country. Big boot gets two for MVP. Jericho comes back with a clothesline but the Lionsault misses. Play of the Day is countered into the Walls and Jericho advances.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but with a one night tournament you have to keep things that way. Again I don’t mind MVP losing clean here because it was to another champion and on top of that he would drop the title on Sunday anyway. Not much to see here but it was fine all things considered.

Jericho sits on the throne post match.

King of the Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Punk has the MITB case. Feeling out process to start but it turns into a strike off, won by Punk. He takes Matt down for two and hooks a quick chinlock. Matt comes back with some headbutts and drives an elbow into Punk’s back off the middle rope. Matt’s bulldog is countered into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner for two. Punk’s springboard clothesline is caught in the Side Effect for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS which is countered into a sunset flip which is countered by Punk sitting on Hardy for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C+. Another short match here but this one was a little more fun than the previous one. The ending was pretty quick and that’s a good thing as it was certainly entertaining for a four minute match. Punk was on a roll at this point and he would win the world title in about two months. Matt would get the US Title on Sunday.

All we have as far as a bracket is Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.

Tonight it’s Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. That’s the really stupid match I warned you about. We see it in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 for a preview.

We get a clip from Raw last week of HHH vs. JBL when Orton ran in and HHH got double teamed. The fatal fourway on Sunday (those three plus Cena) is now an elimination match.

JBL says this Sunday he’ll take his place on top of the WWE. He was in the New York Times today.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Khali is having issues with Big Show around this time. Horny is at ringside of course. Finlay charges at Khali but gets shoved down almost immediately. Khali shoves him down but misses a legdrop. Finlay pounds away but Khali shrugs him off and sends him to the corner. Horny comes in with the club but Finlay saves him. The chop puts Finlay down and Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post…..for a DQ? Apparently so. Too short to rate but this was nothing of note.

Big Show comes out but Khali won’t go for him until Sunday.

Finlay is helped out because of the knee attack.

King of the Ring First Round: William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Twenty seconds, Regal Stretch. Finlay comes in to help but Regal beats him down and attacks the knee. Regal is GM at this point so shenanigans seem to be up.

The brackets are set for the semi-finals:

Jericho
Punk

Finlay
Regal

Video on the annual post Wrestlemania European tour.

Here’s Shawn for a little chat. Apparently Batista isn’t happy about Shawn retiring Flair at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants to talk about it right now. They have a match on Sunday with Jericho as referee for no apparent reason, although it would set up a six month feud between Shawn and Jericho. Here’s Batista and Shawn if Batista wanted to face Flair at Mania, which is what Jericho suggested on Smackdown.

Batista asks if that would make Shawn feel better. This isn’t about Flair anymore, but rather about Big Dave and Shawn. He respects where Shawn is, but not how he got there. He’ll finish this with Shawn at Backlash. Shawn appreciates the honesty but he’s everything Batista says he is. Whether Dave likes it or not, Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and there definitely is blood on his hands. Batista is going to need luck on Sunday. Shawn goes to leave but Batista spins him back around. Shawn gets into superkick position but Batista just walks past him and leaves.

Hilary Clinton gives the kind of promo/speech that a famous person gives when they talk to a wrestling audience that they don’t understand. This one isn’t terrible though as she mainly talks about how she’ll fight for America and lists some of her issues. It’s very corny, but I’ll give them points for at least talking like this. Obama and McCain will talk later.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Just….why? Oh this is something to do with the tag titles. Holly and Rhodes are champions coming into this. Carlito has his partner Santino with him. Feeling out process to start with Holly mainly in control. Carlito comes back with a backbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Carlito works on the back some more but misses a charge. Holly makes his comeback with clotheslines and the dropkick but his back gives out. He loads up the Alabama Slam but his back gives out again. Backstabber gets the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much. This would presumably set up the match on Sunday but it didn’t happen for some reason. Then again, no one cared at all about the tag titles so it’s not like anyone cared. This was really just a breather to allow everyone to transition from the first half of the show to the second.

HHH says he’ll win.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Both guys are tentative to start but both get quick twos. The first big move is Jericho draping him over the top rope out of a suplex. Punk tries a springboard but Jericho kicks his legs out and Punk is in trouble. Jericho tries a hammerlock but Punk takes his head off with a clothesline for two. They trade rollups like at the end of Punk’s other match but no one gets a pin. Walls are countered into a rollup for two.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and this is getting good. Punk snaps off a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into the bulldog and Jericho loads up the Lionsault. It looks strange as Jericho tried to land on all fours because Punk had his knees up. Either way he stopped himself and hooks the Walls but Punk makes a rope. Jericho goes up but Punk high kicks him down. He puts Jericho on his shoulders and the GTS sends Punk to the finals clean.

Rating: B-. These two always work well together and this was no exception. Punk got a win here which made him look a lot stronger, which is what someone like Jericho is great at. Even four years later Jericho is still putting people over but it still means something, which is a great sign for a veteran like him.

Senator Obama gives a very corny speech, concluding with “do you smell what the Barack is cooking.” Just….no.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: William Regal vs. Finlay

Finlay has the bad knee coming in. Regal circles him to start but gets monkey flipped to the floor. Regal sends him into the steps and he hits knee first. Back in the ring and it’s time for a slugout. Regal goes shoulder first into the post for two. Finlay tries a fireman’s carry but the knee gives out. Back to the forearms and a rollup gets two. Regal hits him in the head with a knee and puts on the Regal Stretch. Finlay passes out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. These two always have good matches as they’re always physical. The more I see of Finlay the more I appreciate him as he was really good at stuff like this. There was nothing for him to lose out there and he was going to be adequate at worst no matter who you put him out there with. Good stuff but short.

McCain uses a lot of wrestling lines and says go vote.

We run down the card for Backlash.

Cena says that you’ve heard everyone talk tonight and he has as good a chance as anyone else, but the advantage he has is he doesn’t have to go through himself.

Let’s get this over with.

Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

There’s a Bill impersonator with Hilary, who comes out to Real American. No one reacts AT ALL. Obama comes out to Rock’s theme and I guess is the face in this. They’re impersonators in case you didn’t get that. It’s so weird seeing and hearing people not care at all about Hogan’s music. I mean there’s NOTHING. This is one of those times I feel ashamed about being a wrestling fan. They both cut promos on each other and Hilary’s is far better, as she’s played by a chick from SHIMMER. The fans still don’t care.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to be this stupid to find this entertaining? Rock’s theme gets ZERO reaction either and Obama has huge ears. King gets the only funny line of this by saying that if Obama were facing Mike Tyson in this it would be a buffet. They have a “match” which isn’t completely terrible as both are played by wrestlers. Obama hits a Rock Bottom but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow. Cue Umaga for a Spike to Obama and a Samoan Drop to Hilary. Bill runs away. This got TEN MINUTES.

Here are a bunch of face Divas to introduce the new Women’s Champion Mickie James. She beat Beth who was considered unbeatable so it was a big upset. It still amazes me how much more interesting the Divas were just a few years ago. Mickie thanks the other girls but gets cut off by Beth and some other evil girls. Remember when there were twelve Divas that could be in one segment and could all have at least a passable match? Beth says it’s not if she’ll win the title back, but when she’ll win it back. Michelle slaps Beth and the brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal’s psycho look while he sits on the throne is still great.

Here’s Orton for the main event but first he brags about how awesome he is and how his title reign will continue after Sunday.

Randy Orton/Edge/Chavo Guerrero/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena/HHH/Kane/The Undertaker

Orton is Raw champion, Edge is challenging Taker on Sunday, Chavo is challenging Kane, JBL is challenging Orton, Cena is challenging Orton, HHH is challenging Orton, Kane is ECW Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown champion. Now that’s a packed main event. How out of place does Chavo look here though? After the entrances take forever to get through we’re ready to go. Seriously, there were ten minutes spent on entrances PLUS a commercial. That’s ridiculous.

Taker and Orton look to start but Edge jumps Taker in a surprise. This goes badly for the Canadian as a big clothesline puts him down. Old School hits (hasn’t that been called old longer than it wasn’t called old?) and we take a break after 40 seconds. Back with Chavo tagging Edge in to work over a downed HHH. The spear is countered into a spinebuster and there’s the tag to Cena.

He starts his finishing sequence very quickly on Edge but Chavo low bridges him on the Shuffle attempt. JBL throws him back in clean which shocks Jerry. Off to Orton who does nothing so it’s JBL again. Russian legsweep gets two as does a clothesline. Edge comes in and the Cena chants begin. Edge gets a big boot and it’s off to Orton for a chinlock. Cena stands up but it’s a double clothesline and both guys are down.

The tags are made to Chavo and Kane with the Big Bald cleaning house. All of the evil team goes down and a side slam puts Chavo down. The top rope clothesline mostly gets shoulder and everything breaks down. Chavo counters a slam attempt into a DDT but as he goes for the Frog Splash Kane chokeslams him down. Out of nowhere though Edge spears Kane for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag match and that’s about it. They covered almost everything and they had the most secure winner at the PPV (Kane) take the fall which is a good thing. Not a bad match but it’s just a way to throw everyone into the main event at once, which is fine for building up the PPV main events.

Edge takes an FU post match, HHH takes the Clothesline, RKO to HHH and a double chokeslam to JBL and Orton. Undertaker stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really entertaining show that went by fast. I’d have liked to see some better wrestling in there but the matches had to be fast due to the tournament. I’m glad they didn’t go to any double eliminations as in an eight man tournament that’s kind of excessive. Good show though and I want to watch Backlash now so that’s a great sign. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5:

The more I think about it, the worse the show looks.  To begin with, how in the world can you have a nine match card running FOUR HOURS and have to cut a match due to time constraints?  There were no backstage segments, the Hall of Fame stuff was quick, five matches didn’t even make it to eleven minutes, and the longest match was 24:01.  But somehow we had to cut a match for time?  Let’s see.  Could it have been:

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Announcers play with WWE action figures – 1 minute

Package on the Special Olympics – 3 minutes

John Cena Make-A-Wish video – 2 minutes

Video on the Pre-Show – 1 minute

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Diddy Intro – 2 minutes

Diddy Concert – 8 minutes

Video on Slim Jims – 1 minute

Rock vs. Cena promo – 2 minutes

Gee, could it be the TWENTY FOUR MINUTES spent either hyping up stuff we ALREADY BOUGHT or WWE patting themselves on the back for how great they are?  Yeah instead of having Ryder and 3MB in the back doing something amusing, we need to hear about how awesome it is that WWE has sent Slim Jims to soldiers.

Moving on, there’s the major problem with this show: it wasn’t that good.  The best match was either Undertaker vs. Punk or HHH vs. Lesnar and neither of them are anything resembling a classic.  They’re both good but I want a bit more when I think of two of the biggest matches of the year.  Both were more than fine for second and third biggest matches on Wrestlemania though.

This brings us to the main event which just wasn’t very good.  It was exactly what we were expecting and while there were some good spots in there, the majority of the match did nothing for me.  I’m very tired of the idea of using five finishers a match as the only offense as they stop being finishers and are just moves at that point.  Cena winning was the right move, but the problem at the end of the day was that Rock winning the title didn’t do much.  It wasn’t a good title reign and he was really just there to pass the title along to Cena.

As for the other major matches, let’s take a quick look at a few.

Swagger vs. Del Rio: meh.  This feud stopped being interesting about two weeks in and Swagger not even getting an intro showed how lame it was in the eyes of the company.  The match was nothing of note (again clipped because of time, because WE NEED DIDDY!) and Swagger looks like the jobber he’s been for years.

Lesnar vs. HHH. While the opening part ran long, the match was very physical and brutal.  Now that being said, why in the world am I supposed to look at Brock as a serious threat again?  The match vs. Cena made Brock look like a BEAST and Cena looked like he was trying to survive rather than win the match.  That made for a great showcase and a great match.  The matches with HHH on the other hand were ALL about HHH.  Think about it: Brock was a guy there for HHH to get beaten down by and then make the Superman comeback against months later.  Lesnar was just a guy for HHH to beat and nothing more.  This is Brock Lesnar, not Khali or Henry, but he’s being treated like a regular monster.

Overall Wrestlemania was entirely forgettable.  Nothing on the show was incredibly fun or interesting, so it came off as very lame.  Out of the 29 shows in the series, it’s probably not even in the top 20.  That’s not a good sign coming off last year’s incredible show.

Now on to Raw, which was very interesting for a lot of different reasons.

Let’s get the big one out of the way right now: Raw sucked this week.  Here are the matches:

Squash

Rematch from Mania’s pre-show with a stupid booking decision

VERY boring handicap match

MITB cash-in

6 man tag to get people not on Wrestlemania on TV

The bizarre match

90 second Fandango match ending in a run-in

Mania match on Raw because WWE LOVES SLIM JIMS!

3 minute match to set up the show ending angle

Other stupid stuff on Raw:

Booker not letting us just have Henry vs. Cena for the title (which would have been a better booking move given the ending)

Colter and Swagger trying to get a heel reaction by asking the fans to chant USA

Ziggler being world champion

The Twitter Poll being canceled after the results were shown on screen

Now we get to the big deal of the show: the crowd.  Let me get this out of the way: that crowd was not a good thing.  It was entertaining for a bit, but eventually they decided to take over the show and make it all about them, because those 12,000 or so people are more important than the fans at home or the people in the ring.  Were they amusing for a bit?  Yes they were, but as soon as they made the entire show about them, it was too much.  It was annoying in ECW and it was annoying here, along with being disrespectful to the people who are working hard in the ring.

Raw sucked on Monday and they’re not going to have a crowd like that to take the focus off that in the future.  That’s a very bad sign for them going forward.

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

We’re closing in on Wrestlemania even more now and the main event tonight is, you guessed it, another tag match. For some reason Miz is in this match instead of Jericho, teaming with Bryan to face Punk/Sheamus. I don’t get that: why not have all four of them in the same match? Either way, having Sheamus and Bryan in the same ring is a good thing as they need all the help they can get at this point. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indiana Hoosiers. They need to be eliminated.

Here are AJ and Bryan to open the show. Good heat on the champ here. Bryan celebrates before saying anything else. AJ is asked what’s so great about being Bryan’s girlfriend. He has soft lips, he caresses her and sometimes they spoon. She calls him Danny and gets corrected before going into a list of his better traits. Being a vegan is a good thing. She isn’t as thrilled about this batch of them. Most importantly AJ feels safe. Bryan whispers something to her to say and she says it’s a little personal. He says say it, so AJ says he’s a great lover. Oh and he’ll keep the title at Wrestlemania.

Bryan starts a cheer for himself but here’s Sheamus. They’ve at least been having these two interact a bit which has been a plus. Sheamus says he threw up in his mouth a bit back there listening to this. He makes fun of the soft lips stuff and says he doesn’t want to go there, but he does want to go to Wrestlemania. Sheamus calls him Danny which is corrected and also starts a chant. He calls Bryan Danny Boy which doesn’t sit well with the champ either. “If you don’t like that, you’ll hate being called the former World Heavyweight Champion.” Sheamus says he’ll kick Bryan’s teeth down his throat. I liked this a lot.

R-Truth vs. Mark Henry

Truth hammers away which works about as well as any other attacks by average sized men on monsters. Truth gets knocked down by a headbutt and is sent to the floor. Henry crushes Truth’s head against the steps and they go back inside. Henry misses an elbow drop and Truth hits a seated dropkick and a low DDT for one. Truth goes up and jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:59. Total squash. Team Johnny wins again. I know they’re winning at the PPV but at least make it look possible. Please?

Big Show vs. Kane again tonight.

We get what might be a first: the debut of a Hall of Fame announcement on Smackdown. It’s Yokozuna. No issues with that. Mil Mascaras is mentioned as going in with this class, which I believe is the first time that’s been mentioned on WWE TV.

We get a clip from Raw of Ryder’s rally and cut to Team Teddy in Long’s office. Teddy says he needs more convincing so Horny comes in with a Team Teddy flag. He’s the official mascot of the team now. Khali comes in wearing Ryder gear and says Woo Woo Woo You Know It. Ryder and Khali are on the team now. Well it’s better than no appearance at all. His stuff with Kane and Cena is never going to be mentioned again is it?

AJ vs. Brie Bella

AJ is the home state girl being from Jersey. An inset interview from the Bellas has them talking about how Brie doesn’t want Nikki’s advice because Nikki lost last week. Booker apologizes for one of his statements about AJ recently. Which statement that is he doesn’t list but whatever. Brie controls to start and stomps away at AJ. Bryan’s advice: do better. Off to a chinlock which is pretty quickly broken. AJ hooks a Fujiwara Armbar and a decent one. Nikki gets up on the apron to distract AJ but Brie rams into Nikki and is rolled up for the pin at 2:48.

Post match we find out that Brie is Team Teddy and Nikki is Team Johnny. Brie leads a T-E-D-D-Y cheer. That’s just what this feud needed: THE BELLAS!

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Apparently Lillian legitimately screwed up the entrance and called Ryder “The Long Island Iced Z, Jack Swagger.” The fans are WAY into Ryder. They better be careful or he’ll get sent down to NXT. He controls to start and hammers on Swagger but Jack moves out of the way in the corner. Swagger uses almost a judo throw to take Ryder down and throws on a top wristlock.

Ryder gets his knees up in the corner and starts his comeback. He slams Swagger’s face into the mat and hits the Broski Boot for two. Rough Ryder is countered into a buckle bomb followed by it’s Vader cousin for two. Horny chases Vickie onto the apron and the distraction allows the Rough Ryder to get the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C-. I’m glad to see Ryder get his win back but it’s negated by the general annoyance factor brought on by Hornswoggle being out there. That guy gets annoying fast. Anyway, decent match and it’s good to see Ryder back and winning matches (mostly) clean. Him getting on Mania will be good too, even though he’ll be on the losing team.

We get a clip from Monday of Cody attacking Big Show.

Earlier today, Cody says he’s been enjoying embarrassing Big Show lately. The biggest embarrassment is going to be at Mania though. Knucklehead 2 perhaps? Cody leaves, saying he has a plane to catch. Then why did you come to the arena?

Big Show vs. Kane

Show starts off fast and runs over Kane. He hammers away and Kane bails to the floor. Kane sends Show into the post and hits the low dropkick back in the ring. Kane hooks a chinlock but Show gets up and they clothesline each other. Show gets up and starts pounding on Kane but the big fried freak comes back with a DDT for two. Kane goes up but jumps into a chokeslam. Cody runs in for the DQ at 3:45.

Rating: D. This continues to be nothing. These two never have clicked at all so keeping it short like this was probably the best idea. Cody running in was pretty obvious as he did the same thing on Monday. I guess they were out of stuff to do in this feud so they’re just having Cody cost Show matches, even though he gave him a win here.

Show chases Rhodes into the crowd. Orton comes in and RKOs Kane.

Same anti-bullying video from Raw.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Brodus is in green tonight. Notice that the announcers have stopped seeming to have a blast when he comes out. It’s like they’ve been told to cool it or something. Slater dropkicks the knee out and hits an enziguri, perhaps becoming the first person to ever cover Brodus. Brodus comes back with his usual and the splash ends this in 1:24. This guy needs a feud in the worst way. Throw him on Team Teddy if nothing else.

Ryder runs into Eve in the back and they say they’re both going to Wrestlemania. Zack says she’s beautiful and smart, which Eve takes as an insult because she thinks Ryder sounds like it was a recent development. She storms off, saying their dinner is off. This is going to go on for a long time isn’t it?

Raw ReBound is about the three way talking session that didn’t say anything new from the end of Raw.

Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

Christian is on commentary. Cole again points out how one sided the team situation is and how serious one side is while how goofy the other is. Christian gets a text from Johnny, who is all of 8 feet from him. Khali throws Ziggler around and chops him down. Ziggler gets in a shot and hammers away as Booker argues with Booker. Christian wants Cole to be Team Johnny’s mascot. Khali comes back with his array of clotheslines but the chop misses. Sleeper goes on and Ace rings the bell at 2:42, Montreal style. Yep, that just happened.

Teddy says hang on a minute and restarts it. Ziggler is given to ten to get back in and doesn’t get back in. Santino and Kofi throw him in anyway and Khali chops him down. I’m already sick of this feud because there are SO many people in it and there are still two more to be added.

CM Punk/Sheamus vs. The Miz/Daniel Bryan

Is there any logical reason for Jericho not to be in this? Sheamus and Bryan start but Bryan immediately tags out. Sheamus takes over with a headlock and clothesline and it’s time for Punk. The slingshot shoulder brings Sheamus back in and gets two. Irish Curse gets two. Sheamus pulls Bryan in but the distraction lets Miz knock him to the floor and Bryan adds a knee to the head as we take a break.

Back with Miz kicking Sheamus in the head and putting on a chinlock. A backdrop gets Sheamus out of trouble and he makes the tag to Punk. The champ comes in with a springboard clothesline and the running knee/bulldog combo takes Miz down. He loads up the Macho Elbow but Bryan distracts him down. Miz hits the low DDT for two and it’s time for champion vs. champion.

Bryan chokes Punk out and we get a Danny Boy chant. Booker says Miz has been surpassed by his former pupil. Miz gets in a shot to the back to keep Punk from getting momentum and then adds a kneelift for two. Punk takes Miz down and there’s the tag, resulting in Bryan running for his life. Sheamus cleans house and hits the forearms to the chest of Bryan. The Brogue Kick kills Miz at 6:43 shown of 10:13.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t really into this one because the ending could be seen coming a mile away. Bryan running from Sheamus is kind of interesting I guess because it’s the story of his title reign, but I’m hoping at Mania that he finally gets caught. Other than that, nothing to see here because Punk has no reason to want to fight either of his opponents here.

Overall Rating: C. This was an ok show and that’s about it. They’re in full on Mania push mode at this point and that can become a problem. Much like Raw, there’s not much to see on these shows because the PPV has been set for weeks now. Not a bad show or anything, but other than Ryder and Khali being added to Team Teddy, there’s nothing here that’s new material.

Results
Mark Henry b. R-Truth – World’s Strongest Slam
AJ b. Brie Bella – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
Big Show b. Kane via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – Big Splash
Great Khali b. Dolph Ziggler via countout
CM Punk/Sheamus b. The Miz/Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick to Miz

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Honorable Mention: Trish Stratus vs. Lita. This might be a weird one given my borderline hatred of women’s wrestling, but with these two it worked incredibly well.  There was a natural rivalry between the two of them with Trish being the well groomed and gorgeous blonde model while Lita was the streetwise fighter who flew all over the place and was covered in tattoos.  It’s a natural dichotomy which works incredibly well.

Honorable Mention: The Rock vs. Mick Foley. Speaking of natural dichotomies, here’s another great one for you.  You have Rock as a natural athlete and a blue chipper who has dominated every athletic field he’s ever touched, and on the other hand you have a guy who looks like he escaped from a mental hospital.  The difference though is Foley has the heart and drive to never give up no matter what is thrown at him and Rocky can’t handle having this kind of resistance.  It made for some amazing promos and even better matches between two of the best ever who cleared respected each other very deeply.

5. Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon. It’s the mother of all feuds and the cornerstone of the Attitude Era.  Vince went so far as to terrorize his own family while gaining the help of a demon lord in order to get the title off of Steve Austin.  If that doesn’t sum up how awesome this feud was, I don’t know what does.

4. CM Punk vs. John Cena. If there is a pairing with flat out better matches and chemistry together, I can’t think of them.  When you can actually rival the quality of Steve Austin vs. the Rock with how awesome your matches are, it’s hard to not put them on this list.  It’s pretty easily the best rivalry of the modern era with absolutely no bad matches between the two of them.

3. Steve Austin vs. The Rock. As great as Cena vs. Punk is, this one is just slightly better.  The chemistry these two had was off the charts and when they were together, you could feel the electricity.  It could be anything from singing Jimmy Buffet songs to throwing title belts into a river to having one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history in front of 67,000 people at the best show of all time to just running into each other backstage at Wrestlemania 27, but these two just feel amazing when they’re together and the chemistry was unbelievable.

2. Hulk Hogan vs. Bobby Heenan. Now we’re getting into more personal favorites than pure quality.  Heenan rarely got in the ring himself, but he was constantly throwing his latest protege at Hogan.  Be it Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, Paul Orndorff or Andre the Giant, this feud DOMINATED the 1980s and produced some of the most entertaining television you’ll ever see.  When you can top the list of Hulk Hogan’s biggest rivals, it’s clear you’re doing something right.

1. Sting vs. Vader. If there has ever been a better story of a warrior fighting the evil dragon, I don’t know what it is.  These two were as much of a layup for a great match as you could get in WCW, and yes that includes Flair vs. Sting.  The key aspect to this feud that made it great was that Sting would regularly lose to Vader.  Every time they fought there was always a chance that Vader could destroy Sting and on more than one occasion he did.  The fans were WAY into these matches too and the feud continued on and off for over three years.  It’s excellent stuff and I can’t recommend their 1992 Starrcade match enough.

We’ll wrap this up with my favorite matches either tonight or tomorrow.

Theme song opens us up.

Wrestlemania ad.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre

Shelton Benjamin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Shelton counters a monkey flip by landing on his feet and clotheslining Ziggler down. A German suplex gets two for Benjamin but he gets caught in a sleeper. That gets nowhere so Shelton sends him into the corner and tries Paydirt (the jumping Downward Spiral) but Ziggler falls the wrong way, making it like a jumping clothesline or punch. Either way it gets Shelton the pin.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio

A belly to back suplex puts Rey right back down as does a flying shoulder. Darren Young, the NXT rookie of CM Punk, is watching in the back. Rey finally gets in some offense by sending Gallows out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Luke clotheslining Rey down for two and sending him to the apron. Rey is whipped into the post and Gallows is in full control. Back in and a slam gets two for Gallows as the match stays slow.

Post match Punk tries a GTS but Rey escapes and kicks him in the knee.

John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

Truth cleans house and kicks Kidd in the face for no cover. Shad and Smith go at it but Morrison hits a cross body to take all three of them to the floor. Tyson hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Truth but R- immediately comes back with the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the pin and the title shot.

The winners dance post match.

We run down the Mania card.

Edge vs. Big Show

Big Show runs him over to start and knocks Edge out to the floor. As he pulls the guy with hair back inside though, Edge guillotines him down onto the top rope to get himself a breather. A chop puts Edge right back down though but he uses some speed to avoid the monster. That lasts all of a handful of seconds though as Big Show chops him right back down. All Big Show so far.

Post match Jericho runs in and gets speared down again.

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