Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXXVIII Night Two (2023 Redo): They Had To Make A Sequel

Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two
Date: April 3, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 78,453
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith
America The Beautiful: Jesse James Decker

It’s the second half of the show and WWE has a lot to live up to after the first night. This half is built around the unification match for the WWE and Universal Titles as Brock Lesnar faces Roman Reigns in the BIGGEST WRESTLEMANIA MATCH EVER (THIS YEAR!). Other than that, Pat McAfee is facing Austin Theory in a match that has gotten a lot of TV time. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the third deck with the stage on my right.

Jesse James Decker performs America The Beautiful.

Video on Night One.

Mark Walhberg talks about how the sequel is almost never quite as good as the original, but it might be tonight. This is going to be all about the emotions and it’s not edge of your seat, but out of your seat. Points for doing a separate video instead of the same one again.

Here is HHH to get things going. He gets his full entrance and poses on every corner…before being handed a pair of boots. With the boots in the ring, he thanks the fans and welcomes us to Wrestlemania as pyro goes off. HHH goes over to hug his family (including Stephanie McMahon, his children and others) and leaves to the side of the ramp. This would be his retirement due to his heart issues and you can probably imagine he was going to have at least one more big match.

Gable Steveson is here again.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

RKBro is defending and these teams have been fighting over the titles for weeks, with only the Profits not winning them at some point. Otis cleans house to start before all six get in for the big brawl. With the ring clearing out, Ford hits the big running flip dive to the floor, followed by Gable moonsaulting onto almost everyone. Back in and Otis splashes Riddle but slaps him around instead of covering.

Gable comes in to work on Riddle’s leg but Riddle fights up. Ford is back in and gets over to Dawkins for the tag so house can be cleaned. Otis splashes Dawkins and Riddle but misses a charge into the corner. Riddle Bro To Sleeps Dawkins and Orton comes in to clean house. The Academy is dropped onto the announcers’ table but Otis is back up to take out everyone else. Gable is back up with a Steiner Bulldog for two on Ford but Dawkins breaks up a Vader Bomb.

The Profits hit a Doomsday Blockbuster on Gable before knocking Riddle outside. Dawkins blocks the RKO and hits a spinebuster on Orton before flip diving onto Otis. Ford loads up a frog splash….but Riddle springboards to the top to RKO him back down in an awesome spot. Not to be outdone, Gable goes up but Orton pulls him out of the air into the RKO to retain at 11:32.

Rating: B-. This was the usual wild triple threat match that would have felt fine on a big time house show. Watching Riddle and Orton hit one RKO after another is always fun as they really did have it down to a science. While it was entertaining, I couldn’t have told you this opened the show to save my life as it had absolutely no staying power.

Post match the Profits and RKO are ready to share a drink. Hold on though as they want Gable Steveson to join them. Steveson gets in, but Gable knocks the cup out of his hand. Orton and Riddle look stunned (Orton’s face is hilarious) as Steveson takes his shirt off. Gable demands respect as the ring clears out. Gable even has some advice for Steveson: SHHHHHHHHHHUSH! That earns him an overhead belly to belly and now the toasting can ensue.

Bobby Lashley vs. Omos

No MVP here despite him being Lashley’s manager. Omos powers him down to start and then drives Lashley face first into a knee. Lashley tries to power out of a head vice but gets clotheslined down instead. Omos hits a charge in the corner (or close to it, as he somehow missed a running splash) but Lashley starts hammering away. The Hurt Lock is blocked though and Omos clotheslines him down.

Lashley manages to catch him on the ropes and goes up, only to be pulled out of the air for a fireman’s carry slam. Back up and Lashley charges into a bearhug, which is driven hard into the corner. The bearhug goes on again but Lashley fights out again and slugs away. Somehow Lashley manages a suplex (egads) and a spear to the back sets up the regular version to finish Omos at 6:36.

Rating: C-. This was the spectacle match of the show and it was only so good. There are only so many things that Omos can do in the ring and Lashley made it work as well as it could. Not a good match but they did keep it short and it didn’t get too insane. The suplex worked as a big spot too so it could have been worse, as weak as it was.

We recap Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn. Knoxville was in the Royal Rumble to do publicity for his new Jackass movie and Zayn freaked out, sending him into an obsessive feud to destroy Knoxville once and for all. Then Knoxville fought back by having Zayn’s phone number flown on a banner above Los Angeles, resulting in Zayn receiving 60,000+ texts. The solution: an anything goes match.

Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville

Anything goes and Zayn kicks him in the face at the bell to start fast. They head outside with Zayn sending him into the barricade right in front of the Jackass crew. The crew goes after him, allowing Knoxville to come up with a fire extinguisher blast for a breather. Back in and Zayn busts out the cookie sheet to take over before switching over to a crutch. With that broken over Knoxville’s back, it’s time to bring in a table (of course).

Zayn goes for another table….and gets his hand caught in a mouse trap. It seems that there is a table covered in them (because reasons of Knoxville) and the delay lets Knoxville bang some trashcan lids around Zayn’s head. Knoxville sets up the table in the corner but gets suplexed through it instead. The helluva Kick is loaded up but Knoxville whips out an airhorn to cut it off.

Cue part of the Jackass crew, with a guy described as a party boy dancing and stripping (Cole: “It’s Naked Mideon 2.0!”). Zayn takes him out and Knoxville uses the distraction to grab a rollup for two. With the party boy kicked underneath the ring, Wee Man (he’s short) pops out and beats Zayn up, including a slam back inside (the place goes NUTS for that). Knoxville’s tornado DDT gets two as commentary is losing it over this whole thing.

Wee Man pulls out a machine with a boot attached and designed to kick someone low. Instead Zayn kicks him in the face and sends him outside before going up top. That’s fine with Knoxville, who whips out a remote control to spray pyro from the corner Zayn is standing on. With Zayn down in the corner, there’s a bowling ball between the legs and then the boot machine kicks him low again.

Knoxville whips out a tazer (sure) so Zayn runs….right into a giant hand that slaps him in the face. Back in and Zayn grabs a suplex before going up again. This time, Knoxville tongs him low and sends Zayn flying through the mousetrap table. Now the Jackass crew pulls out a giant mousetrap (just go with it) and Knoxville tazes Zayn onto it, with the trap springing for the pin (ignore Zayn’s shoulders being on the trap and not the mat) at 14:33.

Rating: B-. This is the definition of “it wasn’t for me”, but the stadium was going NUTS for the whole thing and they embraced everything insane about the whole thing. It was a total stunt show instead of a match (which is what it needed to be) and Zayn got wrecked by one stunt after another. I never need to see it again, but for a one off, it was goofy fun. Less than three weeks later, Zayn would need something to make him feel better after all this, so he started talking to the Bloodline. Not bad for a next step.

Here’s part of Drew McIntyre beating Happy Corbin last night and then cutting the ring ropes.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler

One fall and Carmella/Vega are defending. Banks and Naomi ride out in a rather expensive looking car while Liv and Rhea have something of a Catwoman/Donnie Darko theme. Ripley starts and no one wants to fight her until Banks comes in for the staredown. Banks gets powered down but comes back up with an armbar that doesn’t last long. Riptide is blocked and Banks realizes she needs to think twice here.

Naomi comes in but everything breaks down with most of the, going outside. Banks and Morgan both hit dives before going back inside for a staredown. Back to back Codebreakers rock Morgan and Oblivion makes it worse, only to have Natalya take Morgan down. Baszler comes in and stomps on Morgan’s leg as things slow back down. The leg cranking ensues before Carmella comes in to send Morgan into the corner.

Everything breaks down again with Carmella hurricanranaing Ripley off the top. Naomi and Banks hit double Eat Defeat on Morgan and go up, only to have it broken up. That means stereo Towers of Doom, with Morgan and Ripley handling the powerbombs. Everyone is down for a bit until Riptide into a backstabber gives Ripley two on Naomi.

Morgan breaks up Baszler’s cover on Naomi and gets faceplanted for her efforts. A Hart Attack is broken up and Carmella takes Naomi down for some near falls. Banks is back in with a frog splash to Carmella but Vega breaks up the Crossface. The Meteora from the apron hits Vega and Naomi kicks Carmella in the head. A wheelbarrow slam/Codebreaker combination hits Carmella to give Banks the pin and the titles at 10:50.

Rating: C. It wasn’t exactly great and as usual, there were so many people here that it might as well have been a free for all. The wrestling was only so good and the titles feeling so completely unimportant doesn’t help. These feel like thrown together teams fighting over the titles and that doesn’t quite make it feel Wrestlemania worthy. If these titles are supposed to mean something, stop having makeshift teams fighting over them. At least you now have a steady pair of hands in Naomi and Banks to hold them, as they should be fine for a long time to come.

We look back at Miz and Logan Paul beating the Mysterios and then breaking up because Paul wanted to leave as a good guy.

We recap Edge vs. AJ Styles. Edge wanted a special opponent so Styles accepted, only for Edge to go full villain and Conchairto him. Now Styles is back and wanting revenge.

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Styles is bleeding from the side of his face, apparently having hit himself on the set on the way in. Since it’s Wrestlemania, Edge rises up onto a throne surrounded by fire. They stare at each other to start until Styles starts knocking him away. The dropkick looks to set up the Calf Crusher but Edge is straight over to the ropes. Back up and Edge is sent outside, with Styles ramming him head first into the steps to make things more violent.

The springboard 450 hits raised knees back inside, with Edge holding his knee in something that rarely happens off of that counter. Edge’s knee is fine enough for the posing before he kicks away at Styles. The abdominal stretch goes on but Styles goes after the knee to break it up. A shoulder breaker cuts Styles down again though and they’re down long enough that we can look at some of the giant graphics for the match around the stadium.

Back up and Styles misses a hard charge into the corner and they’re both down again. Edge hits a Codebreaker onto the bad arm and it’s time to crank on both arms at once. Styles can’t Pele his way out of trouble as Edge pulls him into an STF, which he switches into a Crossface (sounds like a Samoa Joe fan). That’s broken up with a quick rope break and we slow down again.

Edge misses a spear and Styles grabs a slingshot DDT for the double knockdown (again). Styles goes up top but gets caught by Edge. That doesn’t work either, as Styles slips out and kicks the bad knee, setting up a torture rack spun into a powerbomb for two more. Edge is back up but charges into a German suplex to put them both down again. They slug it out until Styles manages a Pele Kick but the Calf Crusher is blocked again.

The Crossface has Styles in big trouble until he rolls his way to freedom. The Edge-O-Matic gives Edge two and a slingshot powerbomb gets the same. They both take their time getting up and head to the corner, where Styles superplexes him down onto the apron (ouch). Back in and the springboard 450 hits Edge’s back for two. The Phenomenal Forearm and spear both miss so Styles hits the Styles Clash for a rather near fall. Styles loads up the Phenomenal Forearm….but Damien Priest (US Champion at the time) is here to offer him a distraction. The delay lets Edge spear Styles out of the air for the pin at 24:26.

Rating: B. This was a good, hard hitting match that felt like it belonged on the big stage, but the double downs got a bit repetitive as they probably burned off five minutes of just laying on the mat. The distraction finish was a bit annoying as well as it just cut everything else off, but it certainly seemed to set up something for the future. Either way, best match of the night so far.

Tonight’s attendance: 78,354.

Byron Saxton replaces Pat McAfee, who has to get ready for his match with Austin Theory.

Brawling Brutes vs. New Day

Butch is here with the Brutes. New Day has Big E. inspired gear, even down to the singlets, for a nice touch. Butch loses his mind on the floor before the bell and the brawl is on inside. The bell rings and Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Holland. Sheamus pulls Kofi outside though, leaving Woods to make a save. Back in and Kofi seems to leave a top rope shot to the face a bit short as Woods takes the straps down.

A running Downward Spiral hits Holland but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Kofi on the floor. Back in and Woods superkicks Holland (he’s taking a beating here)…but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Woods silly. Northern Grit finishes Woods at 1:42. So Big E.’s career might have been ended and his team loses in less than two minutes at Wrestlemania. This place isn’t nice to New Day (as they lost to the League Of Nations here in 2016 as well).

We look back at Cody Rhodes returning and facing Seth Rollins. These recaps might as well have a big sign saying FILLER. Or PEACOCK COMMERCIALS.

The Hall of Fame class is honored again, with only Undertaker coming out in person. Undertaker comes out, waves, and that’s it. I’m not sure why this needed to happen two nights in a row and the way it happened again made me think it was going to be an angle but…yeah nothing, even after it goes on for a good while.

We recap Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory. McAfee talks about everything he has accomplished from the NFL to his talk show, but he has always been a fan who wanted to wrestle. He even trained to wrestle with Rip Rogers before he came to WWE so he has a background. Vince McMahon was a guest on the Pat McAfee Show and offered McAfee a chance for a match. This wound up being against Theory, who has tormented him ever since, with McAfee chasing after him and annoying McMahon in the process.

Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee

Vince McMahon personally introduces Theory (as a future Universal Champion). McAfee on the other hand has the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders with him in an appropriate entrance. Some right hands have Theory in trouble early but he goes to McAfee’s throat to cut him down. A jumping back elbow has Theory down again as the fans are rather into McAfee. There’s a hurricanrana for two but Theory plants him and smiles down at Vince.

McAfee manages a quick suplex for a breather and Theory heads out to the apron. They head outside and McAfee grabs a headset to say hi to his parents before pouring ice over Theory. Back in and a heck of a Swanton misses for McAfee so Theory grabs a belly to back slam for two.

Theory goes up but McAfee catches him on top, only to be shoved off. That’s fine with McAfee, who does a pretty sweet moonsault to land on his feet. A jump up to the top (that was cool) sets up a top rope superplex (McAfee shouldn’t be this good this soon) for a delayed two on Theory. Back up and Theory gets in a shot and tries A Town Down, which is countered into a rollup to give McAfee the pin at 9:43.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a celebrity match as McAfee got to show off his athleticism (that jump to the top into the superplex was very good). McAfee is one of those guys who seems to just “get” wrestling and that is one of the most valuable things anyone can have. McAfee had to win after the build to the match and it was good stuff, as McAfee can talk and actually back it up.

Post match McAfee celebrates and Vince is ticked. Vince is so ticked….that he takes his jacket off (the place is VERY interested). The shirt comes off and Vince gets in the ring (Cole: “WHY IS THERE A REFEREE IN THE RING???”). It seems that we’re doing this but Theory jumps McAfee from behind. Let’s ring that bell.

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

McMahon clotheslines him at the bell and then does it again, earning a YOU STILL GOT IT chant. The stall is on but McAfee Colts Up but McMahon distracts the referee, allowing Theory to crotch McAfee against the post. With McAfee down, McMahon gets a Dallas Cowboys football and punts it into McAfee’s stomach for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D-. So that’s how the crowd gets killed after being on fire from the McAfee match. One might think it would have been a better idea to put Theory over if they wanted to go this way, but seeing McMahon in the ring for (probably) one last time is a special moment. That being said, this wasn’t a match for the most part and the ending was awful, but what else were you expecting?

Post match Vince and Theory hug and Vince seems a big scared by Theory’s music playing. Then the glass shatters and Vince has a better reason to be afraid. Steve Austin comes out, beats up Theory, gives McMahon the all time worst Stunner (as Vince falls down both before and after) and drinks beer (good thing it was ready in case he made a surprise appearance) with McAfee. Then he Stuns McAfee, who probably could not be more thrilled.

We look at Bianca Belair’s marching band entrance before she won the Raw Women’s Title.

Wrestlemania XXXIX is in Los Angeles.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns in a World Title unification match. Reigns has been Universal Champion for a year and a Lesnar has held the title for about five minutes. Now they’re unifying them because Reigns vs. Lesnar must headline at least one major event every year until the end of time.

Universal Title/WWE Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner take all and Paul Heyman is here with Reigns (the Usos come to the ring with him but head to the back before the match). Heyman and Lesnar handle the intros (Lesnar has done that a time or two) before the latter takes off his gloves to start the match. Reigns hammers away and drives him into the corner a few times without much trouble. Three straight suplexes have Reigns in trouble and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Heyman offers a distraction though (Heyman: “I’ve always loved you. It was Roman’s idea!”) and Reigns hits a spear through the barricade.

Back in and Reigns hits another spear for two and a pair of Superman Punches drop Lesnar again. Lesnar is right back up with five German suplexes but the F5 is countered into a Superman Punch. Another spear is countered into the F5 to give Lesnar two of his own as they’re firmly in their signature formula here. Another F5 is countered and Reigns drives Lesnar into the referee in the corner.

A low blow and belt shot give Reigns two and Reigns spears him from behind (ala Lashley about two and a half hours ago, which commentary does note) for the same. Reigns tries another spear but lands in the Kimura, sending Reigns to the ropes this time. Reigns can be heard telling Heyman that his shoulder is “out”, only to spear Lesnar down for the pin at 12:17 (Heyman looked stunned on the pin).

Rating: C+. Yes the action was probably better than that but I’m so completely done with caring about these two having their same match over and over. WWE treated these two as the biggest stars in the company for so long that this is the only way they can finish Wrestlemania. That doesn’t make it interesting though, as Lesnar didn’t feel like a threat and they did the same match they have done almost every time after their first. But hey, at least the ultra dominant Reigns is now even more ultra dominant right? To be fair that wound up working, but finding a better way there would have been appreciated.

Reigns celebrates and a lot of pyro ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a weird one as there are good things about the show, but a lot of it feels like they were trying to fill in time. Too many of the matches came off as things that they needed to do rather than things they wanted to do and it made things a lot less interesting than the previous night. The good stuff is good and it had some moments (one more time for Austin and McMahon, the Knoxville/Zayn stuff and the title unification) but it felt like a pale comparison to Night One, which isn’t something to brag about whatsoever. Not a bad show at all, but you might want to pick and choose.

Overall Overall Rating: B. The show overall is good, but more of the good comes from Night One, which had the action to go with the moments. If they wanted to balance it out a lot more, moving Cody’s return to the other night would have helped, as outside of the main event, the second night didn’t have the deepest lineup. It’s a rather good Wrestlemania overall, but man it feels like an eternity has passed in the last year. Night One is definitely worth a watch though, as it feels like a Wrestlemania. Balance it out a bit and cut down on Night Two (or give us one really long night) and it’s that much better, but this did work.

 

Ratings Comparison

RKBro vs. Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Omos vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+
Redo: B-

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley

Original: D+
Redo: C

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Original: B-
Redo: B

New Day vs. Brawling Brutes

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory

Original: C+
Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

Original: D+
Redo: D-

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C
Redo: B-

Overall Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B

So the second night was mostly better across the board and then the overall overall rating is barely up? That’s a weird one, but this show was a better sit after a year away so maybe it does have some staying power.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2021 (2022 Redo): Thank Goodness It’s Over

Survivor Series 2021
Date: November 21, 2021
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,120
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Pat McAfee

Since it’s Survivor Series and there are no other possible options for the show in the history of ever, it’s time for a Battle Of Brand Supremacy with wrestlers who have been on the roster for about a month. That means a battle of World Champions Roman Reigns and Big E., plus Survivor Series tag matches and….a Rock 25th Anniversary battle royal? Let’s get to it.

For the sake of simplicity, all matches involving champions are non-title.

Kickoff Show: Damian Priest (Raw) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown)

US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion and Rick Boogs handles Nakamura’s entrance, much to Pat McAfee’s (now dancing on the announcers’ table) delight. Priest works on the arm to start but a Boogs guitar solo cuts that off, allowing Nakamura to grab a headlock. Nakamura takes him into the corner for Good Vibrations, with Boogs playing something that is in no way Good Vibrations.

Back up and Priest knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, meaning Boogs plays some more for a distraction. Some strikes to the head rock Priest and the sliding German suplex makes it worse (with McAfee jumping up to celebrate). Priest fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

South Of Heaven is broken up though and Nakamura kicks him in the head again. Kinshasa is countered into South Of Heaven for two but the Reckoning is blocked. Priest counters an armbar into a triangle choke but Boogs guitars Nakamura to freedom AGAIN. Finally Priest goes outside and breaks the guitar (McAfee: “YOU SON OF A B****!”), with one of the pieces nailing Nakamura for the DQ at 9:24.

Rating: C. I was having fun with the back and forth as they had some chemistry together, but at the same time, there is only so much you can get with the constant Boogs interference. I do like that they didn’t have a champion get pinned here and instead went with Priest snapping to finish things up. Not a great match, but a fast paced one to start things off.

Smackdown – 1
Raw – 0

The opening video talks about how this is two sides battling….and we see a clip from Rock’s Netflix movie Red Notice. The voiceover talks about how many things the movie and show have in common before moving into the nonsense about this being the ONE NIGHT where Raw and Smackdown go head to head. Clips from the movie mock teamwork, which is what this show is all about. After more clips and more generic opening video statements about how important the show is, we’re ready to go.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte. They were old friends but then both wanted to be the best, with Lynch getting there in a big way. Then Lynch left on maternity leave and Charlotte bragged about how great she (as in Charlotte) is so now that Lynch is back, it’s time to fight.

Before we got there though, there was also the VERY awkward moment where Charlotte was supposed to hand over the Raw Women’s Title and dropped it instead, leading to ALL KINDS of problems/discussion. Oh and Charlotte’s REALLY annoying “UH-OH” promo. This does at least have a personal story rather than just doing the Raw vs. Smackdown deal.

Charlotte (Smackdown) vs. Becky Lynch (Raw)

For a bonus, they’re both dressed as characters from Wandavision, with Charlotte as the villain and Becky as the hero. Becky hits her in the face to start and the brawl is on early. Charlotte goes for the leg but has to escape a Disarm-Her attempt. Back up and Charlotte hits a spear but Becky hits a heck of a spinning kick to the face. They head outside for a hard posting to Charlotte but it’s too early for the Manhandle Slam.

Charlotte gets her down and rams Becky’s face into the mat over and over. Becky is sent outside so Charlotte loads up the moonsault, which is shoved HARD into the barricade for a great looking crash instead. Charlotte sends her into the barricade and they both get back in at the same time for the big staredown. Becky avoids a shot to the knee in the corner but an armbar is countered into a powerbomb for two.

Some stomps in the corner have Charlotte in trouble and the fans aren’t thrilled with Becky. A fall away slam sends Becky into the corner for a crash, followed by the Andrade double moonsault for two. Charlotte snaps her throat first across the top but Becky knocks her into the ropes. The Fameasser onto the ropes gives Becky two and Charlotte misses the big boot, only to ram her head into Becky’s for two instead. The second big boot gets two instead so Becky is right back with a Christian layout reverse DDT.

Back up and the Manhandle Slam gives Becky two more, setting up a cross between a Figure Four and a heel hook. Charlotte turns it over for the break anyway and they’re both down for a bit. I’m not sure why Becky is down but it does make things a bit more dramatic. Yet another big boot knocks Becky outside and the moonsault…well it comes close to her at least, with the replay not making it any better.

Back in and Charlotte grabs her own Disarm-Her but Becky slips out. They fight into the corner where Charlotte grabs a rollup with ropes for two, as the referee sees the cheating. Becky reverses into a rollup of her own and doesn’t get caught grabbing the ropes for the pin at 18:13.

Rating: B+. These two work well and they treated it as a huge match, especially at the start where they both came out swinging. The ending was more of a way to save Charlotte than to give us a definitive winner, but after Charlotte has gone over so many times, doing a tainted job to the biggest female star ever isn’t asking too much. Great opener, with all kinds of energy and the big fight feel.

Raw – 1
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: Debuting at Survivor Series 1996.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, Austin Theory, Bobby Lashley
Smackdown: Drew McIntyre, Jeff Hardy, King Woods, Happy Corbin, Sheamus

Survivor Series match and MVP/Madcap Moss are the respective sixths. Lashley has his spot after taking it from Dominik Mysterio and also caused Rey Mysterio to lose his spot to Theory. On the other side, Sami Zayn lost to Hardy, costing himself a spot on the team. You know, in case you needed a recap on the five people per show being thrown together. Rollins, the self proclaimed Raw captain, lets Owens start, so Owens bails to the floor and leaves for the countout less than a minute in.

After Owens takes a bow, McIntyre jumps Rollins on the floor as Theory comes in to face Woods. Theory gets his arm cranked on and it’s McIntyre coming in to launch him into the corner. Sheamus and McIntyre take turns chopping at Theory (McAfee is rather giddy) and Corbin gets in on it with a pretty good right hand. Theory manages to punch his way to freedom though and the tag brings in Rollins, who is knocked right back into the Smackdown corner.

It’s Hardy coming in to start on the arm and a quick splash gets one. Rollins is able to grab Sheamus by the arm though and Balor comes in to work on that arm for a change. Again though, that doesn’t last long as Sheamus drags him right back over for the tag to Corbin. We continue to e parade of arm cranking between people who don’t really dislike each other, making this match feel all the less interesting. Deep Six gets two on Balor with Lashley making the save, meaning everything breaks down.

With almost everyone else being knocked down, Balor kicks Corbin in the head and drops the Coup de Grace for the elimination. Hardy comes in to face Balor and the fans are rather pleased. It’s Hardy taking over with the basement dropkick but Balor’s own dropkick gets his own two. Lashley comes in for a running shoulder in the corner to Hardy, which has McAfee worried on commentary.

Hardy fights out of Balor’s chinlock and hits Whisper in the Wind, leaving Lashley and McIntyre to fight on the floor. Lashley posts him (McAfee: “DREW ARE YOU OK???”), leaving Theory to cover Hardy for two as the fans are interested in….something. It’s back to Woods to clean house, including a discus forearm to Theory. Lashley crotches Woods on top though and the Hurt Lock is good for the elimination to make it 4-3 Raw.

Everything breaks down again and Balor’s slingshot dive is pulled out of the air by Sheamus. We get the big Lashley vs. McIntyre showdown with Lashley backing up for some reason. McIntyre jumps him instead but Lashley powers him into the corner. That earns him a clothesline out to the floor with McIntyre following to post Lashley for a change. They fight over the barricade and that’s a double countout to get rid of the big guys.

The fans are NOT happy, even as Lashley jumps McIntyre after the eliminations. A Claymore drops Lashley though and a Glasgow Kiss drops a laughing Rollins before both guys leave. We’re down to Sheamus/Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory/Balor with Sheamus charging into a boot in the corner. That’s enough for Rollins to dive over for the hot tag to Balor, who is quickly powerslammed for two.

Balor is back up with a Sling Blade but the Coup de Grace misses, setting up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin. Theory is right in for a heck of a dropkick and it’s Rollins coming back in for a chinlock. After a pretty good while, Sheamus powers up and brings Hardy in to clean house.

Everything breaks down with Sheamus playing Matt Hardy for a springboard splash to the other two in the corner. That’s enough for Sheamus and Hardy to hit stereo ten forearms to the chest, followed by White Noise to Rollins. Everything breaks down again and Rollins pulls Hardy off the apron, leaving Theory to roll Sheamus up for the elimination. That leaves us with Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory…but Sheamus decks Theory before he leaves….and then does it to Hardy too.

Rollins is fine enough to get the tag and hit a frog splash for two on Hardy as we settle in to the beating. Theory takes Hardy up top but gets knocked down, setting up the Swanton for the pin. Rollins isn’t happy and glares at Hardy, who grabs a rollup for two. A hard forearm to the back of the head gets two on Hardy but the Twist of Fate drops Rollins. The Swanton hits raised knees though and the Stomp gives Rollins the final pin at 29:55.

Rating: B. It was a fun, hard hitting match, but the Raw vs. Smackdown lineups continue to feel so worthless. They might as well do a Lethal Lottery format and you would get the same result. The good thing is that the talent is here and can make a match like this work, but the format desperately needs to change to make it more interesting.

Raw – 2
Smackdown – 1

WWE did some charity stuff in Harlem.

Vince McMahon arrived earlier and got a big reception from a bunch of the wrestlers. Then he pulled out a gold egg, because cross promotion.

Classic Rock Moment: recreating the Montreal Screwjob a year later at Survivor Series 1998.

Roman Reigns comes in to see Vince McMahon, who shows him the egg. That’s Cleopatra’s egg, which was given to him by the Rock. Apparently it’s worth $100 million dollars, which Reigns says is as much as his next contract. And that’s it.

The Rock 25th Anniversary Battle Royal

Shanky, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Robert Roode, Angel, Humberto, Shelton Benjamin, Sami Zayn, R-Truth, Cedric Alexander, Montez Ford, Jinder Mahal, Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro, Otis, Mansoor, Drew Gulak, Erik, Chad Gable, Ivar, Apollo Crews, Omos, AJ Styles, Ricochet, Angelo Dawkins

The Street Profits come to the ring with a bunch of Pizza Hut. Nothing wrong with a sponsorship. Cole and Graves get pizza but Saxton is denied, as he should be. Styles bails to the floor and stands on the announcers’ table as everyone else fights for the smart move of the night. Gulak and Benjamin are out to start with Humberto following them. Truth heads outside to get some pizza, which he offers to Omos and Otis.

The latter takes it before throwing Truth out and going after Omos. Otis doesn’t last long and Gable armbars Cesaro over the rope. That’s broken up and Cesaro knocks Gable out and T-Bar is dropkicked to the floor by Ricochet. The fans want pizza but have to settle for Alexander and Garza being tossed out. There goes Erik and Ivar at the hands of Shanky, because the potential is in Shanky instead of the Viking Raiders. Omos gets rid of Shanky with ease and Roode catapults Mansoor out.

Roode and Ziggler go after Omos and the giant gets rid of Roode, leaving Styles to Phenomenal Forearm Ziggler for the elimination. Zayn tries to rally the remaining Smackdown names but yells at Ricochet, leaving Ford and Dawkins to toss him out. Omos gets rid of Azeez, who pulls Styles out despite Omos’ protests. Crews is out next and we’re down to Omos, Dawkins, Ford, Cesaro and Ricochet. Cesaro rallies the troops to go after Omos, earning himself an elimination. There go Dawkins and Ford, leaving us with Ricochet vs. Omos. That doesn’t last long either as Omos tosses him out for the win at 10:38.

Rating: C. This was ALL about Omos, who threw out about half of the field and dominated throughout. It worked for Andre and even if Omos isn’t quite there, it was a nice performance. Omos is someone who works well in this kind of a spot, even if this had absolutely NOTHING to do with the Rock.

Raw – 3
Smackdown – 1

Post match Styles goes for the pizza but Ford kicks him in the head and throws it into the crowd.

Classic Rock Moment: winning the 2000 Royal Rumble, even if Big Show really won.

We look at the pre-show match.

RKBro (Raw) vs. Usos (Smackdown)

Riddle starts fast with an armbar attempt on Jimmy but gets stacked up for two and the break. A headbutt just makes Riddle mad and he grabs a spinning gutwrench suplex to send Jey flying. Orton comes in and we hear about his hear in Ohio Valley Wrestling for a bit of a rarity. The threat of an RKO sends Jimmy bailing to the floor so it’s off to Jey, who stomps Orton down in the corner.

That just earns Jey a punch to the nose (simple, yet effective) and a trip to the floor, allowing Riddle to hit the springboard Floating Bro. A drop onto the barricade cuts Riddle off though and it’s back to Jimmy for the suicide dive. We slow things down a bit with Jey hammering away in the corner until Riddle manages a kick to the head. That’s way too soon for a hot tag to Orton though and Jimmy is back in with a chinlock.

Riddle fights up and manages a Bro To Sleep (which doesn’t make anything close to full contact), allowing Orton to come back in to clean house. Snap powerslams drop the Usos and Jey gets belly to back dropped onto the announcers’ table. Not to be outdone, Jimmy gets the same as McAfee is losing it even more than usual. Back in and the hanging DDT hits Jey but he’s fine enough to block the RKO.

Riddle is up again and kicks Jey in the head before nailing Jimmy with a running forearm. Jey manages to kick Riddle down for two and the pop up Samoan drop gets two. There’s a superkick to Riddle and a double superkick to Orton. The double superkick from either side gets two on Riddle, who kicks out and stays rigid for a weird moment. Riddle’s enziguri gets him out of trouble though and Orton gets a blind tag. Jimmy doesn’t notice though and his Superfly Splash is pulled into the RKO to give Orton the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B. Two of the best teams in WWE have a good match when they are given about fifteen minutes on a big stage. Sometimes these things write themselves and that was the case here, as Orton even managed to get in the cool RKO that he hits in these important matches. Another solid match on the show in what shouldn’t be a surprise at all. Now just do it again for the titles.

Raw – 4
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania XXVIII. I’d say that counts, though it’s still hard to believe Cena lost.

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce wait for Vince McMahon in his office. Vince comes back…and the egg is gone. The middle management goons are sent to find out who did it, saying if they don’t find out tonight, Vince will find out himself on Raw.

Video on Xia Li, the Protector, in comic book form. Yeah this was too cool to work and it never went anywhere.

Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women

Raw: Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan, Carmella, Queen Zelina
Smackdown: Sasha Banks, Shayna Baszler, Shotzi, Toni Storm, Natalya

Zelina is still a queen and Ripley is half of the Women’s Tag Team Titles with Nikki Ash, which mean a grand total of nothing (Zelina and Carmella would win them the next night on Raw). Toni Storm (as announced in a completely necessary tweet earlier in the day) starts with Carmella, who drops Storm with a right hand. Hold on though as Carmella hands it off to Zelina before heading outside to put on her protective mask. It takes forever to put the mask on so Carmella has Zelina do it, allowing Storm to grab a rollup for the pin.

Belair and Banks come in for a Wrestlemania rematch but Shotzi tags herself in. A quick backsplash gets two on Belair but she’s right back up to knock Shotzi silly. Belair’s jumping splash gets two so Morgan comes in for a middle rope….uh, something, and a near fall. Natalya comes in for two off a snap suplex and a pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. The step over basement dropkick gives Natalya two more but it’s off to Ripley to freshen things up.

Natalya doesn’t seem to mind and brings Baszler in for a double suplex. The jumping stomp to Baszler’s arm is blocked though and the slugout is on. Ripley has to fight out of an armbar as well as the Kirifuda Clutch, allowing her to stomp on Baszler’s head. Shotzi saves Baszler from the Riptide though and everything breaks down. Ripley breaks out of another choke and it’s a double tag to give us Belair vs. Banks.

Belair tries the power but gets pulled straight into the Bank Statement. That’s broken up so Banks sends her face first into the middle buckle, setting up a tornado DDT for two on Belair. Back up and Zelina tags herself in so Belair launches her at Banks for two more. No one will tag Banks so she has to block Zelina’s Code Red. Banks tags herself in and flips Zelina over into a cutter for the pin. Morgan comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence of her own until Oblivion connects to get rid of Storm.

Baszler comes in to choke Morgan and even kicks Ripley off the apron to prevent a tag (that’s smart). It’s off to Shotzi for a weird looking splash, followed by Banks’ frog splash to eliminate Morgan. Ripley comes in and muscles Banks up for a delayed suplex and a near fall. A missile dropkick sends Banks flying into the corner but Shotzi comes in off a blind tag. Shotzi offers a distraction so Baszler can come in with a knee to the face to pin Ripley, leaving Belair vs. Natalya, Shotzi, Banks and Baszler.

Belair comes in and suplexes Natalya for two before firing off the shoulders in the corner. Baszler’s distraction lets Natalya hit a powerbomb out of the corner for two and it’s off to Banks. Shotzi gets into it with Banks and pulls her to the floor where Banks gets counted out to make it 3-1.

Natalya comes in and Sharpshooters Belair, who rolls Natalya into Baszler for the break. A rollup finishes Natalya to make it 2-1, with Baszler coming in next. The Kirifuda Clutch is countered into a release Glam Slam to get rid of Baszler and it’s Shotzi vs. Belair. Shotzi grabs a choke in the corner and a faceplant drops Belair again. The running hip attack in the ropes gets two on Belair, who sends Shotzi into the corner and hits the KOD for the pin/win at 23:46.

Rating: C-. Well that was ridiculous. The last five minutes of this was Belair doing her best Super Cena impression, as she ran through three people on her own (four if you count getting rid of Banks). The match wasn’t anything special otherwise, as the Belair vs. Banks segment was the only thing worth seeing. This felt long until the ending, when it became one head shaking moment after another. Storm was trying and got a bit of a run, but this was all about making Belair look strong and to say they went overboard would be an understatement.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: The Rock is at the first Smackdown on FOX and rips on Baron Corbin/hangs out with Becky Lynch.

Paul Heyman knows nothing about the missing egg but thinks those people from BROOKLYN might have had something to do with it. That’s not what he is being asked about though: what about Brock Lesnar’s suspension being lifted soon? Uh, Heyman doesn’t want to talk about that either.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Big E. Last month, Big E. cashed in Money In The Bank to become the new Raw World Champion. The New Day celebrated because they’re a brotherhood, but Reigns said they were no Bloodline. Reigns broke Woods’ King Of The Ring crown and now it’s time for a clash between World Champions.

Big E. (Raw) vs. Roman Reigns (Smackdown)

Paul Heyman is here too as we hear about their time together in FCW. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere, meaning it’s off to another staredown. Big E. shoves him a bit and Reigns bails to the floor, where Heyman lists off some Anoa’i family members at the table. Back in and Reigns hits the jumping clothesline for two before stomping away rather hard.

An elbow drops Reigns and Big E. gets to talk a bit of trash to set up the missed apron splash. Big E. comes up favoring his knee and you know Reigns is happy with that. Back in and the chinlock goes on for a bit until Big E. powers up for the break. You don’t do that to Reigns, who boots Big E. down for two more. Big E. is sent outside again as Reigns is getting frustrated and growling at the crowd. A reversed whip into the steps puts Reigns in trouble for a change and some belly to bellies make it worse back inside.

The Warrior Splash connects but Big E. charges into a Samoan drop for two. Reigns fires off the corner clotheslines until Big E. Rock Bottoms him out of said corner for two of his own. The Stretch Muffler has Reigns in trouble so he powers up into a sitout powerbomb to rock Big E. again. A Rock Bottom gets two more as they’re sticking with the big shots here. Two Superman Punches only keep Big E. down for a few seconds so Reigns hits a third…but Big E. is back up before the spear can even launch.

Reigns is sent to the apron for the spear out to the floor but comes right back in with his own spear (minus through the ropes) for a rather near fall. They take their time getting up, with Reigns talking about how Big E. doesn’t deserve to be here. The guillotine is broken up but Big E. tries another spear through the ropes and gets caught in the choke. Reigns gets it on again back inside, only to muscle Reigns up into the Big Ending for two.

They head outside again, with Big E. fired up this time as he sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table. A posting and ram into the barricade have Reigns in more trouble but he’s fine enough to send Big E. knees first into the steps. A Superman Punch off the steps lets Reigns kick the knee out and hit a spear for the pin at 21:56.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going and could have had a few minutes cut out, but this was a heck of a fight. The problem here though was there was no reason to believe Reigns would lose. Big E. is great, but winning the title via Money in the Bank makes him feel a step beneath Reigns, in addition to the fact that Reigns already feels like a bigger star than anyone else at the moment. Big E. was trying here, but you know Reigns getting pinned is going to be a huge moment, not something in a stand alone show like this one.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 2

Overall Rating: B-. This show is going to depend on how you look at it. While the wrestling was mostly good, with the main event and men’s Survivor Series match carrying it, the biggest problem is NOTHING HAPPENED. Raw dominated the head to head competition and there was nothing on here that I felt like I needed to see. Reigns is still the unstoppable force and whoever got the red shirts this year had a strong night. What else is there to say about the wrestling with non-existent stakes?

Then you have everything else and it was just sad. The Rock obsession was cool and made sense, but without him actually having anything to do with the show the impact kind of falls apart. I know he’s busy, but if he isn’t going to be there, maybe don’t focus on him so much. The egg stuff was stupid, though I can’t fault WWE for trying to make money and it was relatively short.

Overall, as has been the case for a long time, there was enough good to pretty good action to make the show a decent watch, but there is absolutely nothing from a storyline perspective. The Battle For Brand Supremacy stuff worked for a few years but now WWE has given up on it meaning anything, so why should I care about what they’re doing? Good enough show, but totally unimportant.

Ratings Comparison

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Damian Priest

Original: C+
Redo: C

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B+
Redo: B+

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Original: B-
Redo: B

Battle Royal

Original: C
Redo: C

Usos vs. RKBro

Original: C+
Redo: B

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Original: C-
Redo: C-

Big E. vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B
Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Oh yeah this is about as similar as it gets.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – April 11, 2022: Keep It Going

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2022
Location: Little Caesar’s Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

We’re back to normal this week as the Wrestlemania Weekend glow is gone. Now we get to see what the regular crowds are like and how they respond to what WWE is offering. At the same time, we get to see how things go when WWE doesn’t have to try as hard. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Cody Rhodes’ return at Wrestlemania and wanting to become the WWE Champion to honor his father.

Here is the Miz for MizTV. Miz wastes no time in introducing Cody Rhodes, though he does make sure to insult the fans a few times. Miz accuses Cody of taking too long to come out but Cody says it has been awhile since he was in front of a crowd like this one. Hang on as Cody gets to pose a bit more and the fans certainly like him. We hear about Cody being the grandson of a plumber but without the Rhodes name, he would just be a plumber. Cody says it would be nice to be a plumber right now because Miz is full of….and he stops himself.

Miz hasn’t changed a bit in years and that makes him reliable. Cody is here to win the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Championship belt, though Miz points out that it’s a title because a belt holds up your pants. We hear about how Seth Rollins wants a rematch where Cody can’t surprise him but the fans cut off Miz again.

Miz gets in Cody’s face and says he knows where Cody has been for six years but Cody says hold on. He respects Miz and all of his accomplishments but maybe Miz is threatened by him. Cody has enjoyed their chat but he’s looking forward to their match, which will be his first on Raw in six years. Miz goes for the sneak attack and gets sent outside. Cody kept the reaction for another week so they might be on to something here.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Veer Mahaan

Veer runs him over to start but Dominik is up with a superkick. A missed charge sends Veer outside, where he sends Dominik into the barricade. The baseball clothesline drops Dominik on the floor and another does it again inside. The cervical clutch (camel clutch/Gargano Escape hybrid) finishes Dominik at 1:58.

Post match Mahaan puts the hold on again, then lets it go, then puts it on again, leaving Dominik to take a stretcher out.

Post break, Dominik is put into the stretcher.

Veer Mahaan says he strikes fear into the hearts of men.

We look back at Edge and Damian Priest taking out AJ Styles last week.

Styles is scared of what he is going to do to Priest tonight. Priest walks up so AJ gets in a fight with him, with agents having to break it up.

AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

During his entrance, Priest says he is here to prove that he is worthy of working with Edge. Styles slugs away to start and hits a clothesline to put Priest on the floor. There’s the forearm off the apron to send Priest over the barricade. A whip into another barricade has Priest in more trouble and we take a break.

Back with AJ bleeding from the head but still managing to hammer away. The Downward Spiral plants Styles though but the Reckoning is countered into a Pele. Styles tries the Phenomenal Forearm, which is countered with a kick to the head. Hold on though as Priest drops to a knee and the lights go out. The purple spotlight comes on Priest….and we take another break. Back again with….the match being over, we’ll say at 13:05.

Rating: C. That’s WWE for you. They set up a match but then realize that they don’t want either of them to lose so they get creative and give us whatever this was. I’m sure there is some internal WWE logic behind what happened, but since WWE can’t bother to explain any of this stuff, we’re left sitting here wondering what the heck just happened. More importantly though, I’m left sitting around wondering why I should care if they’re just going to end a match like that.

AJ isn’t happy and says Edge is his no matter what.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

Hold on as here is Seth Rollins at the bell to conduct the crowd in his entrance theme. Miz gets in an early kick to the face but Cody snaps off the powerslam to send Miz outside. Back in and we hit the cravate to hold Miz in place before Cody sends him face first into the buckle. Miz gets in a shot to the face though and the chinlock goes on. Jimmy calls it a beautiful one and Cody is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Cody hitting a suplex for two, with Miz being sent outside for a suicide dive. They get back in and Cody misses something off the top to damage his knee. The Figure Four goes on and stays on for a good while, but Cody finally turns it over for the break. Back up and the Cody Cutter sets up the Cross Rhodes at 11:50.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of win that can boost Cody a bit: he beats an established name clean in the middle of the ring and starts looking like a force. That makes two matches for Cody and two wins over former World Champions. He has a long way to go, but they are starting off well and that’s more than I would have bet on in this case.

Post match Rollins (who didn’t do anything during the match) grabs the mic and says he heard Cody mention the word REMATCH. Rollins could go for that and Cody accepts the challenge, date to be announced.

We recap the debut of Ezekiel from last week, much to Kevin Owens’ annoyance.

We meet the newest member of the Raw roster: Tommaso Ciampa (thankfully not renamed to Steve Lewis), but Ezekiel comes up to introduce himself. Ciampa is glad to meet him but Owens comes in to say that’s Elias. Ezekiel and Ciampa say not quite and Owens thinks he is the only sane person left around here.

Liv Morgan vs. Naomi

Naomi rolls her down to start and hits a quick kick to the face for an early two. A double jumping kick to the face drops Liv again but she’s back with a rollup. That means a pinfall reversal sequence until Naomi gets a rollup pin at 2:18.

Here is Bobby Lashley in the VIP Lounge despite not being a guest. He barely beat Omos so now it is time for him to wreck this set. Cue MVP and Omos, with the former threatening lawsuits if Lashley breaks anything. Lashley wants Omos right now but MVP says Omos is learning to be a businessman so he’s waiting until the money is right. That’s fine with Lashley, who still wants an explanation from MVP.

Believe it or not, MVP actually gives him one, saying that when he returned to WWE, Lashley was floundering. Lashley had talent but he wasn’t going anywhere so MVP had to save him. Lashley accuses MVP of being on a farewell tour and a lot of yelling ensues. MVP says Omos is going to destroy Lashley, who promises to take Omos down again and then take MVP out. With that taken care of, Lashley throws a bunch of the set out of the ring.

We recap the double engagements in the 24/7 Title shenanigans.

R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and some others have a bachelor party with Reggie, but aren’t happy that Dana Brooke and the 24/7 Title are at a bachelorette party. It’s time to break it up.

Austin Theory asks the bosses for a US Title shot next week. Deal, and you can just call him Theory. Oh screw off. Kevin Owens comes in to take Theory’s place and demands proof that Ezekiel and Elias are different people. That information is confidential (Owens: “HIS LIBRARY CARD IS CONFIDENTIAL????”) so next week, Owens will make him take a lie detector test. With Owens gone, Sonya Deville says she has a deal in place for Bianca Belair’s first title defense.

Bianca Belair vs. Queen Zelina

Non-title. Belair blocks a rollup to start and runs her over but Zelina takes her down for a Last Chancery. That’s broken up with straight power and Belair hits a gorilla press drop. The KOD connects to finish Zelina at 2:08.

Post break, Sonya Deville is in the ring to announce Belair’s first challenger. It wasn’t an easy pick as she had a lot of options, but Belair is ready for anyone. Deville has an open contract and Belair signs without a second thought. The opponent is……Deville herself, who takes out Belair’s knee and hits a running knee to the face.

We go to the bachelorette party, where Tamina agrees to keep the truce with Dana Brooke tonight. After their honeymoons though, it’s open season for the 24/7 Title. Los Lotharios come in for the Kiss Cam but Nikki Ash has a surprise: a pair of strippers, but one of them is a referee. Tamina breaks up the cover and slides Nikki down the bar as R-Truth, Akira Tozawa and Reggie come in. R-Truth gives them a speech about how the love of the title is all that matters. He’s a certified marriage guy (and has a certificate to prove it) and bans all attacks on Dana until after next week’s double wedding. And now, dancing.

Adam Pearce isn’t happy with Sonya Deville but she asks what he can do about it.

Alpha Academy vs. RKBro

Non-title and before the match, Chad Gable brags about his intelligence, his degree, and everything about himself in general. Orton takes Gable down to start and hands it off to Riddle for some kicks to the chest. Otis comes in to run Riddle over though and we take a break. Back with Gable working on Riddle’s arm but Riddle fights up and brings Orton back in to clean house. A rollup gives Gable two but Orton grabs the RKO for the pin at 8:08.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good stuff while it lasted and that shouldn’t be much of a surprise. These teams have done well in their previous matches, though it is pretty clear that the Academy is on their way down. RKBro vs. the Usos is going to be a big deal and they don’t need the Academy there for that kind of a match.

We cut to the back where the Usos arrive. After a break, here are the Usos, with Orton saying the Big Dog let his b****** off the leash. The Usos laugh it off and get straight to the point: they want the title unification match. Riddle thinks that sounds like something out of Avengers with Thanos trying to get all of the crystals together. Cue the Street Profits to interrupt, because they should be at the front of the line. Jimmy: “There’s only one line and it’s the BLOODLINE!” The Profits and the Usos are ready to go and Orton makes the match.

We recap Veer Mahaan taking out Dominik Mysterio earlier in the night.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Non-title and RKBro is at ringside. Ford dropkicks Jimmy down to start and hands it off to Dawkins, who suplexes him onto Jimmy for one. Jey comes in and gets elbowed down for two, only to have Jimmy come back in off a blind tag. A double spinebuster drops Dawkins and a top rope forearms to the chest gets two.

Dawkins tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught with a jumping enziguri. The Usos head outside to glare at RKBro, only to have Ford flip dive onto them. Ford dances a bit as we take a break. Back with Dawkins fighting out of a chinlock, allowing the double tag off to Ford for the house cleaning.

A running Blockbuster gets two on Jey and Dawkins pulls Jimmy to the floor for a right back. Back in and the Doomsday Blockbuster gets two more on Jey. Jimmy cuts off Dawkins’ dive and superkicks him down, only to have the Superfly Splash hit knees. Ford adds the frog splash for two with Jey making the save. Dawkins is sent into the post and it’s the 1D to finish Ford at 15:11.

Rating: B-. This match got the time that it needed to be better and that is what made it work. Again, I don’t think the Profits are going to matter all that much in the picture so it was a good idea to get rid of them here. Go with the Usos vs. RKBro on the big(ish) stage and leave the other teams out of the picture for the time being.

Post match the champs stare each other down and hold up the titles. The Usos leave but RKBro has to take out the Profits. That’s enough for the Usos to superkick Orton down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t quite last week, but they did keep some momentum going after the post Wrestlemania Raw. That’s more than I would have bet on with this show as WWE has a tendency to drop down a good bit with Wrestlemania season over. You can see a lot of Backlash being set up and now they have another few weeks to really set things up. I’m cautiously optimistic for the next few weeks though and that is a nice feeling.

Results
Veer Mahaan b. Dominik Mysterio – Cervical Clutch
AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest went to a no contest
Cody Rhodes b. Miz – Cross Rhodes
Naomi b. Liv Morgan – Rollup
Bianca Belair b. Queen Zelina – KOD
RKBro b. Alpha Academy – RKO to Gable
Usos b. Street Profits – 1D to Ford

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – April 4, 2022: They Need A New Coat

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It is the night after Wrestlemania and I’m not even sure if that means anything these days. This show has a long history of being something special but since that isn’t WWE’s deal a lot of the time, we might be in for a show that is closer to normal. That isn’t exactly inspiring but let’s get to it.

Here are Wrestlemania Night One and Night Two if you need a recap.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking down at the edge of the stage, with the ring to my left and the Titantron to my right.

We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, as you might have seen coming.

Here is Cody Rhodes, rising through the stage again and walking down a short ramp, to get things going. Cody takes his time getting to the ring and the fans seem happy to see him, though it doesn’t come across as well as it did in the arena. Cody: “So….what do you guys want to talk about?” Forty seven days ago, he became a free agent and has kept silent since then. Rhodes made the decision to return to WWE and it was never a hard choice. It’s a great story of the returning star and he is glad to be back.

He is an avid reader and he stumbled upon this quote: “Sometimes a man finds his destiny upon the path to avoid it.” Rhodes puts up a photo of his dad holding the WWWF Title in Madison Square Garden from September 26, 1977. That is the same title that Hulk Hogan (boo), Undertaker (yay), Shawn Michaels (yay) and HHH (also yay) among others have held over the years. Rhodes talks about how this photo was on the mantle in his parents’ bedroom until his father’s last day.

One day when he was a kid, he asked his dad about being a champion like Hulk Hogan. His dad got serious and explained the championship advantage, meaning that since he won by countout, he didn’t take the belt (yes belt) home with him. That made eight year old Cody decide he was going to win the title for his father.

That hasn’t happened yet and that Dream died right in front of him. Now though, he wants to claim his dream again and his intentions are clear. Rhodes is going to do it for his friends, his fans, and for the American Dream. Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt and they shake hands, with Rollins being very happy and mouthing what commentary says is “welcome home”.

This was a big moment for Cody, but the important point here is that it made sense. Cody didn’t go onto any weird tangent and got his point across (with some impressive sounding words). I can go with the idea, though a Rollins rematch might be on tap first. Good stuff here, and the fans were into Cody. I’m not sure if that lasts beyond Wrestlemania weekend, but it’s a good start.

Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Sasha Banks

Champions Contenders match. Naomi and Ripley start things off with Rhea hitting a rather delayed vertical suplex. That doesn’t get her very far though as Naomi sends her into the corner, setting up a pair of middle rope splashes for two. Banks sends Morgan outside and hits the running knees off the apron, only to have Ripley take Banks down with a flip dive. Naomi dives onto Ripley though and a slingshot legdrop gets two as we take a break.

Of note: during the break, D-Generation X’s music started playing by mistake, confusing all of the wrestlers (the D-Generation X cam was played during a later break, so it wasn’t completely random). Back with Naomi and Ripley making double tags, allowing Banks to hit a top rope Meteora on Morgan. Banks misses a clothesline as Morgan does a Matrix into a rollup for two before kicking Banks in the head. Ripley tosses Banks into Liv’s powerbomb for two but Naomi is back in for the elevated Codebreaker to finish Morgan at 8:57.

Rating: C+. They started picking up the pace near the end and had me believing that the champs were going to lose in their first match after winning the belts. That being said, they don’t exactly have much in the way of challengers going forward and that is a continuing problem for the titles. I can’t imagine it getting much better, but at least Naomi finally had something to do.

Post match Ripley walks out on Liv, with Kevin Owens coming to the ring as she leaves.

Post break, Owens doesn’t seem happy. Maybe he made a mistake on Saturday by challenging Steve Austin to an actual match. He goes over THE PLAN to trick Austin into a match but might have underestimated Austin. Owens admits that Austin is still great, because it takes someone great to beat him. However, it should be noted that he came in with a really serious back injury. Owens: “WATCH THE FOOTAGE! YOU CAN TELL!” He was limping because he was lifting a lot of weird but the WWE Universe needed him out there. Austin’s win should be stricken from the record….and here is someone named Ezekiel.

It isn’t Ezekiel Jackson, but rather someone who looks a lot like Elias, minus his beard. Owens asks Elias what he thinks he’s doing. Ezekiel: “I am not Elias.” Fans: “YES YOU ARE!” Ezekiel says he is Elias’ younger brother and Owens looks like he’s about to lose it. Owens thinks he has beer in his ears because he can’t believe he’s hearing this. Owens hates liars, so Ezekiel thinks Owens hates himself. Ezekiel reminds him of getting stunned, sending Owens into a rant against Enrique or whatever his name is. He has ten seconds to get out of Owens’ ring, but Owens counts down and then leaves instead.

We look back at Miz turning on Logan Paul after the two defeated the Mysterios at Wrestlemania.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz

Rey Mysterio is here with Dominik, who gets hit with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 26 seconds. Ok then.

Post match here is Veer Mahaan to lay out the Mysterios, including a cross between the Gargano Escape and a camel clutch to Dominik as Rey crawled over to try and save him.

Here is Bianca Belair for her first chat after winning the Raw Women’s Title. Belair thanks everyone for standing behind her because she never thought she would win the title. She takes off her sunglasses to reveal a black eye before talking about how losing to Becky Lynch at Summerslam made her realize how great she can be. Now she knows just how fast you can lose it all.

After a quick pause, Belair talks about how she never cheated but worked to get this title. Lynch went for her throat, her hair and even her eye. After all that though, she is still standing here because these people deserve better. That’s why she became better and will become the best she can be. She’ll fight everyone back there because no one is ready to take this title from her. Lynch needs to take some time and find out who she is, because Belair is the EST of WWE and is ready for anyone. This was the victory lap speech and Belair deserved it.

Video on Bron Breakker.

NXT Title: Bron Breakker vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Robert Roode in his corner, is defending. Breakker drives him into the corner to start and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Ziggler manages to Breakker outside though and rakes away at the eyes back inside. That doesn’t work for Breakker, who plants him with a powerslam, only to get crotched on top. We take a break and come back with Breakker fighting out of a chinlock but Ziggler nails a chinlock for two. Breakker’s sitout powerbomb gets two more and the comeback is on, including the overhead belly to belly.

Roode’s distraction breaks up the spear so Breakker takes him out with the big flip dive. Ziggler hits a running knee (might have been a mistimed Fameasser), followed by the Fameasser for two. Breakker blocks a ram into an exposed buckle pad but walks into the superkick (how Ziggler retained at Stand & Deliver) for two. Another superkick is loaded p but Breakker spears him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam for the pin and the title at 10:05.

Rating: C+. This is what you were probably expecting at Stand & Deliver so they did get the ending right. Breakker gets two in the title back in front of a big crowd and a much larger audience while showing that he learned something after his previous loss. I’m not sure if he should have lost on Saturday, but at least they got things right in the end.

Here is MVP for a chat. MVP praises Bobby Lashley for beating Omos on his own and brings out Lashley for his celebration. Lashley brags about beating the biggest and strongest opponent he has ever faced. He knew he had to wait for Omos to make a mistake and that is exactly what happened. Cue Omos to shout that he wants a rematch….and MVP turns on Lashley to help Omos beat him down. There’s a twist and it makes sense, as Lashley is a face anyway and doesn’t need someone to talk for him.

Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan make up in the back, as Ripley has gotten them a Tag Team Title shot next week. Thank you for rendering a stipulation completely worthless in about an hour and a half.

Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler

Byron Saxton has a blast reminding Corey Graves that Carmella and Zelina lost their Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania. Actually hold on, as Zelina says Carmella is obsessed with a man who is a fool for wanting to marry her. Zelina: “However, he is a VERY handsome man!” That’s too far for Carmella, who mocks her for only winning the Queen’s Crown tournament. Zelina was going to be in the wedding as the maid of honor, but now she can be a flower girl. The fight is on, with Carmella running over to Graves as Zelina leaves. Carmella kisses him in relief. No match, as Natalya and Baszler never appeared.

We recap Pat McAfee beating Austin Theory at Wrestlemania, only to love to Vince McMahon. Then Steve Austin came out to do Steve Austin things.

Austin Theory isn’t happy with the loss and tells the Usos he’s ready to take his anger out on RKBro and Finn Balor.

RKBro/Finn Balor vs. Austin Theory/Usos

Balor shoulders Jimmy down to start and stomps away. Riddle comes in to kick at the arm and grab a front facelock. That’s broken up so Theory comes in, only to be backdropped to the floor. Riddle kicks him in the face but the springboard Floating Bro is blocked as we take a break.

Back with Riddle fighting his way out of a chinlock but getting caught with a pop up neckbreaker for two. Riddle manages a jumping knee to the face and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house. The hanging DDT is loaded up on Jey but Theory makes a blind tag and hits a rolling dropkick. Balor tags himself in as well but misses the Coup de Grace. We hit the parade of finishers, with Riddle being superkicked out of the air. Balor hits Jimmy with the Sling Blade, only to walk into the ATL for the pin at 8:14.

Rating: B-. Pretty easily the best match on the show so far as the star power involved helped a lot. That being said, I believe this is the third time that Theory has pinned Balor in as many weeks and I can’t say I’m surprised in the slightest. The US Title has long since stopped meaning anything and this is another good reason as to why. Just let Theory win the title already because WWE actually seems interested in doing something with him.

Here is Edge for a big chat. Edge says he is an honest man. He knew he would beat AJ Styles but he didn’t know Damian Priest would come out to help him. Edge knew that these people would be sheep just like he said they would. Fans: “WE ARE SHEEP!” Edge: “Very telling idiots.” The fans need to rise for the man who respects Edge’s message and the punishment for the guilty: Damian Priest.

After a handshake, Edge asks what got through to Priest over the last few weeks. The fans say they don’t care, but Priest says that doesn’t bother him anymore. Priest says he spent a long time trying to please everyone else, but that made it so easy to pledge his loyalty to Edge. They came to their new reality at the same time, which leads Edge to AJ Styles. He wanted the pitbull AJ Styles and that’s what he got. The thing with pitbulls is that they pick fight over flight, but AJ needs to think of his family.

Cue Styles for the brawl, including taking out Priest and sending Edge into the post. Styles grabs some chairs but Priest gets up, allowing Edge to take Styles down. The Conchairto is loaded up but referees and agents make the save. I can go with the feud continuing, especially if Priest and Edge bring in some friends to uneven the odds even further.

Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy

The Academy jump them from behind to start and the fight is on. Cue Adam Pearce to say let’s make this a Texas Tornado match, which works for the Profits (and lets Corey Graves say “You want to get nuts? Let’s get nuts.” from Batman for some reason). Ford hits the big flip dive onto the Academy on the floor but it’s Otis coming back in to power away.

Dawkins fires off rights and lefts in the corner, leaving Gable to fisherman’s suplex Ford for two. They pair off and we take a break with the fights continuing. Back with Otis loading up the table but he and Dawkins fall to the floor. Ford goes up top but gets crotched by Gable. A superplex is loaded up but Ford shoves him off and hits the frog splash through the table for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C. The Texas Tornado stuff felt tagged on but maybe they realized that the crowd needed to be woken up a bit. This was late in the show and the fans weren’t exactly feeling it at this point but at least they got something energized here. If nothing else, watching Ford do his big jumps and dives is fun and that’s what the show needed.

Here is the Bloodline for the big show closing as they take their time getting to the ring. Roman Reigns says he knows why the people are here but wants Paul Heyman to explain the Bloodline’s success. Heyman lists off the team’s accomplishments, with a focus on Reigns’ box office successes of course. Reigns calls himself the last needle mover because he is always operating at the highest level. He isn’t hanging his hat on this weekend because he is constantly moving forward. This Friday on Smackdown, you’ll find out the next step. Until then, acknowledge him. End of show.

That’s an interesting way to go, as they didn’t really say anything. Maybe they have something planned for Smackdown, but this was ten minutes to say “Reigns won, he’s great, see you Friday.” I’m not sure if that means anything, but it’s quite the wait for nothing substantial.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure what to think on this one. On one hand, it was an improvement over previous years as SOMETHING happened on the Raw after Wrestlemania. On the other hand, it wasn’t exactly interesting stuff. Elias’ younger brother? Veer Mahaan? Breakker wins a title that isn’t on this show? MVP is now with Omos?

It’s ok, but it isn’t something that is going to have my attention for very long. Maybe something gets better next week, but this wasn’t exactly making me want to see where things are going. Cody felt strong and that’s about it. Not a terrible show, but they need something hot and this wasn’t it in the slightest.

After the show was over, Cody Rhodes beat Kevin Owens with the Cross Rhodes in a dark match. Rhodes thanked the fans and talked about how surreal it was to be back to end the night.

Results
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley – Elevated Codebreaker to Morgan
Miz b. Dominik Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale
Bron Breakker b. Dolph Ziggler – Gorilla press powerslam
Usos/Austin Theory b. RKBro/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor
Street Profits b. Alpha Academy – Frog splash to Gable through a table

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 1, 2022: And That’s Why I Wasn’t There

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that could mean a few things. On one hand, it means we could be in for the last big push before the biggest show of the year, which means an exciting night. On the other hand, it could be WWE putting in as little effort as possible as they have more important things on their minds. Knowing WWE, I’ll go with the latter almost every time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a video package on Andre the Giant to hype up his namesake battle royal.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Cedric Alexander, Ivar, Erik, Madcap Moss, Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Mansoor, Shanky, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Damian Priest, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Finn Balor

This field is lame even by this match’s standards. Only Ziggler, Roode and Balor get entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa being eliminated, followed by Reggie, who makes the dumb choice of flipping around on the apron. There goes R-Truth, followed by Mahal, the latter of whom goes out at the hands of the Vikings. Benjamin knees T-Bar out and it’s time to start brawling near the ropes. Moss knocks Gulak out as I continue not remembering that Gulak works here.

Cue Happy Corbin to praise Moss but almost low bridges him out by mistake when Balor reverses a whip into the ropes. Ciampa sends Moss to the floor but this time Corbin makes the save. Corbin leaves so it’s time to settle down again. Crews knocks out Alexander and Azeez gets rid of Benjamin. Mansoor’s slingshot neckbreaker is blocked and Ciampa knees him out. The Vikings eliminate Crews but get tossed by Shanky and Azeez, leaving them with the giant showdown.

They fight near the ropes and both get tossed out, leaving us with Priest, Balor, Roode, Moss, Ciampa and Ziggler. Balor and Priest remember that they had a feud for a bit and slug it out until Balor tosses him out. Roode puts Ciampa on the apron and Ziggler hits the superkick for the elimination to get us down to four. That leaves Balor to clean house but he can’t get rid of Roode. Ziggler goes to help Roode but Moss tosses Ziggler and Roode. Balor charges at Moss and gets sent out to give Moss the win at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was every lame battle royal you’ve seen and that is what the Andre battle royal seems to be. It’s everyone without stuff going on at Wrestlemania being added in to a match on TV, which doesn’t make it feel special. Instead, this feels like a match that WWE has to do and picks a random person to win. Moss is part of a bad angle with Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre, but it isn’t like the match has any history or importance for the most part.

Post match Moss celebrates his win but asks what you should call a battle royal with the smartest Texans. A CATTLE royal!

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Humberto vs. Angel

Ricochet is defending because this is what the title has become these days. Angel and Humberto share an entrance and their chyron says Los Lotharios, which is a bit of a weird way to set up a triple threat. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start, with Angel biting his finger. The obvious double teaming begins and Ricochet gets caught with a running knee to the face. Ricochet fights up and manages a double hurricanrana, because that’s something people can do. Angel catches him on top with a super armdrag though and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet having to fight off the numbers game again, which allows the double teaming to take him down. Humberto nails a spinwheel kick for two, which doesn’t sit well with Angel. The Wing Clipper is loaded up but Humberto rolls Angel up for another near fall as greed enters the equation.

Ricochet uses the distraction to crossbody them down, setting up a rolling dropkick to Angel. The standing shooting star press gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Humberto gets backdropped to the floor and an enziguri drops Angel. Ricochet drops Humberto onto Angel, setting up the 630. That’s not enough so Ricochet goes straight to Humberto with the Recoil for the pin to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The action was ok, but the fact that it was a relief to see Ricochet beat a tag team to retain the Intercontinental Title tells you everything you need to know. Ricochet at least comes off as a winner to save the slightest bit of face, but he needs a lot more to make up some of the last few weeks. Now he can move on to a singles challenger, but him sitting on the sidelines might be best for both himself and the title at the moment, as WWE doesn’t seem to know any better.

Long video on Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Owens wanted a way to Wrestlemania so he challenged Austin to come on the KO Show. One day Owens remembered that he hated Texas and started insulting it so he wants the embodiment of Texas to show up. Austin responded from what looked to be some road out in the wilderness, which sends us into the Austin highlight reel set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock because 90s.

Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Non-title with Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley and Natalya/Shayna Baszler at ringside. Carmella kicks Banks to the floor to start, allowing her to get in some dancing. Zelina hits some running knees in the corner and Carmella is back in for a chinlock. That’s broken up and Banks gets in a shot to the face, allowing her to get over to Naomi for the tag. With Carmella dispatched, a Vader Bomb hits Zelina and Naomi adds the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. This was about as filler of a match as you can get as they were thrown out there to set up a match that isn’t going to have much interest no matter what they do. The Women’s Tag Team Titles continue to be absolutely nothing and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing two days before their Wrestlemania title defense. Nothing match with nothing teams getting ready for a nothing match. Why is this a surprise these days?

Ronda Rousey was training earlier today (appeared to be with Shayna Baszler) and insisted that she was controlling her anger. She’ll be seeing her baby before the show, where she’ll rip off Charlotte’s arm.

Video on Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey, looking at their respective in-ring/cage careers. Both dominated their sports and now it is a clash of the two titans, which would have been a bit better had they not already had a Wrestlemania match. It is also presented as a battle of holds, with the armbar/ankle lock vs. the Figure Eight. In other words, this sounds better in theory than it has been in reality.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She praises the video and says it was more dramatic than Coda. She is going to destroy Rousey and, after mocking the WHAT chants by suggesting they are saying WOO, Charlotte declares herself cool. Every woman wants to be like her and every man just wants her. Having people want her autograph and pictures is cool, just like leaving Wrestlemania as the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Video on Roman reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. I believe they’re fighting soon or something.

Rick Boogs plays Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring so Pat McAfee gets on the announcers’ table….but Austin Theory trips him up. McAfee gives chase to the back, where Theory runs into Vince McMahon’s office. That slows McAfee down but he kicks the door open, with Vince coming out and threatening to fire him. McAfee seems worried and goes back to commentary.

Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso

Shinsuke Nakamura and Jey Uso are here too and McAfee is back on commentary. Boogs curls Uso to start before throwing him down. Jimmy is right back up with a whip to send Boogs into the post to cut him down but Boogs manages to gorilla press Jimmy….from his knees. Boogs stands up and drops him into a fall away slam, because that’s something a person can do. Cue Theory to grab a cup of ice from a fan and throw it at McAfee, who manages to keep his cool. Cue Finn Balor to go after Theory so all six get in the ring for the double DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D+. That gorilla press alone was worth seeing but that’s all they had in such a short match. Normally I would have an issue with WWE doing so many things in one match, but this is a bit of a weird situation. Balor vs. Theory is a feud that has been going on in recent weeks, though Balor isn’t even on Wrestlemania. I’m not sure why they are building feuds for beyond Wrestlemania, but we seem to be ready for a six man tag here to keep it going even further.

Usos/Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Joined in progress with Nakamura getting two on Jey. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets one but a quick shot allows Jey to get over to Theory. Nakamura knees Theory in the ribs as McAfee is VERY pleased with the fans not liking Theory. Boogs comes in and grabs the rotating back and forth gutwrench suplex for two.

It’s off to Balor, who gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Jey to put him down. The villains glare down at McAfee and we take a break. Back with Jimmy missing a splash in the corner but Jey knocks Boogs off the apron to cut off a tag attempt. Balor hits the basement dropkick to rock Jimmy though and it’s a double diving tag to Nakamura and Theory. Nakamura gets to clean house, including a kick to Theory’s head and the sliding German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Boogs is sent hard into the steps. Balor comes in to clothesline Theory to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. The Sling Blade connects back inside and it’s the shotgun dropkick to knock him down again. A distraction lets Theory break up the Coup de Grace though and the ATL finishes Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C. I knew this was coming and I still cringed at the pinfall. For the life of me I don’t get why WWE feels the need to do this, but if Theory isn’t US Champion by the end of the next pay per view (at the VERY latest), this is another entry on the long list of stupid things WWE has done. The US Champion shouldn’t be losing most of the time, but this is what, three or so falls he has taken to set up a match he isn’t even in? It’s another case of WWE feeling like they are trying to make things worse for someone they seem interested in pushing. Only WWE, thank goodness.

Post match McAfee gets on the apron to stare Theory down but he manages to keep his composure.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk, complete with a table to hold Angela the sword. Moss brags about winning the Andre the Giant battle royal earlier, but Corbin says he was supposed to do that. Corbin is euphoric and thinks that could be his new name. We look at how he got the sword and Corbin brags about everything he has done at Wrestlemania over the years.

The sword is more of an insurance policy and he could decapitate someone with the thing. How depressing is it to name the sword after McIntyre’s dead mother? Corbin: “What does Drew McIntyre’s sword and his mother have in common? He lost them both.” Cue McIntyre, who knocks Moss out with one shot on the way to the ring. McIntyre grabs a chair and throws it at Corbin’s head (that was smart), causing the sword to fall down. The set is cleared out and McIntyre cuts the table in half.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Back in the ring, McIntyre stable the mat a few times to make fire and pyro go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh they didn’t care. It was clear that this was designed to be a way to have a show before Wrestlemania and nothing more. None of the matches were good and a lot of this was about hyping things up. This has been the case for a pretty long time now and that reputation is why I was at other shows on Friday night and the only part I saw that night was at a restaurant between other events. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather that it was unimportant and WWE didn’t care. That’s as bad of a feeling that you can have and it was on in full display this week.

Results
Madcap Moss won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Finn Balor
Ricochet b. Angel and Humberto – Recoil to Humberto
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Carmella/Queen Zelina – Split legged moonsault to Zelina
Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso went to a double DQ when Jey Uso and Shinsuke Nakamura interfered
Austin Theory/Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two: Leftovers Aren’t Very Good

Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two
Date: April 3, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 78,453
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith
America The Beautiful: Jesse James Decker

We’re back for night two and that means the other half of the card gets their chance (plus one match from the original night because of timing issues). The main event is the latest biggest match ever as Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar have their unification match to make one World Title for all of…eh maybe they make it to Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

Note that I was in attendance for this show, sitting in the third level off the floor in the end zone corner with the stage on my right.

Jesse Jane Decker sings America the Beautiful.

We get a recap from last night.

Mark Wahlberg narrates the opening video, but unlike last year it’s a fresh one for the second night. Wahlberg talks about how it is tough to do it again so we’re running Wrestlemania back. He hypes up the main event to wrap it up. Again, just having a star do this makes it feel more important.

Here is HHH for a surprise appearance to get things going. After taking a long time to soak it all in (fair) and hugging his daughters in the front row (also fair), he puts his boots in the middle of the ring to confirm his. He does have one thing for us though: WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA! More daughter hugging ensues.

Gable Steveson is presented to the crowd. Again.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

RKBro is defending and these teams have been fighting back and forth for weeks. The champs also have what sounds like a mash up of their themes and that isn’t the best idea. Ford, Riddle and Gable start things off, with the latter giving us some SHUSHING. That doesn’t go well for Riddle, who knocks Gable outside and rolls Ford up for an early two. Ford is back with a running clothesline to drop Riddle but Gable is back in to go after Ford as well.

Everything breaks down and Otis clears the ring without much trouble. The six way staredown leads to three brawls at once but quickly settles down to Ford vs. Gable. That works for Ford, who hits a HUGE running flip dive over the top onto the pile. Gable adds a moonsault onto the same pile and everyone is down on the floor. Back in and Otis runs Riddle over before hitting a splash for no cover, which doesn’t seem to be the best idea. Instead Otis knocks Riddle into the corner and brings Gable back in for two off a northern lights suplex.

Ford comes in with a dropkick to Gable, who monkey flips him over and onto Ford’s own face for two. It’s off to Dawkins to clean house and cover Riddle for two, with Otis hitting a splash to break it up. Riddle knees his way out of an ankle lock and gives Dawkins a Bro To Sleep (that’ll get some reactions), allowing the hot tag off to Orton. Everything breaks down and Orton drops Gable and Dawkins onto the announcers’ table.

Back in and RKBro hits stereo hanging DDTs onto the Profits but the Academy makes stereo saves. The Academy hits a Steiner Bulldog for two on Ford but Otis’ Vader Bomb is broken up. The Profits get Gable up for a Doomsday Blockbuster and another near fall as the fans declare this awesome. Orton can’t RKO Dawkins, who gives him the Sky High. Ford goes up for the frog splash but Riddle springboards in with the RKO to pull him back down. Orton pulls Gable out of the air with another RKO for the pin to retain the titles at 11:30.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as the fans love RKBro and the action made it a very entertaining match. It also didn’t overstay its welcome and got out after getting its stuff in. RKBro retaining works here, but that split is coming and it is going to be a heck of a hot feud if they do it right.

Post match the Profits offer RKBro some yum yum juice, but hold on as Gable Steveson is invited in too. Chad doesn’t like that and cuts them off, slapping the cup from Steveson’s hand. That’s too far for everyone else, so Chad is left alone with Steveson. The belly to belly suplex sends Chad flying and drinking ensues. Steveson had to start somewhere.

Remember last night? It happened.

Omos vs. Bobby Lashley

Omos issued a challenge and Lashley accepted it. Lashley’s kick to the ribs is easily blocked and Omos forearms him down without much trouble. Lashley fights back and tries a suplex, which doesn’t work either. A head vice is broken up so Omos forearms Lashley down again. Some running splashes in the corner connect but Omos misses another one, allowing Lashley to try a failed Hurt Lock attempt.

Omos gives him a gorilla press drop and tells Lashley to get up so the bearhug can go on. A drive into the corner sets up another bearhug but Lashley slugs his way out. More slugging sets up a suplex to drop Omos and a spear to the back does it again. The regular spear finishes for Lashley at 6:32.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? You build Omos up as this unstoppable force and then just have him lose clean in a six and a half minute match? Lashley getting a big win is nice to see and he’s probably in the title picture already, but Omos losing is going to take away just about everything he had. He’ll be around, probably as a bodyguard again, but if they want him as a singles guy (which they might not), this was bizarre. It wasn’t a very good match either, as Omos did a bunch of basic power guy stuff which is hardly interesting.

WWE does charity stuff.

We recap Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn. Knoxville decided he wanted to wrestle but Zayn didn’t like it. This set off a way of pranks/general annoyances, including Zayn eliminating Knoxville from the Royal Rumble and Knoxville putting Zayn’s phone number on a banner in Los Angeles. A match must ensue.

Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn

Anything goes and some of Knoxville’s Jackass friends are in the front row (popular place to be tonight). Zayn wastes no time in hitting the Helluva Kick and knocking Knoxville to the floor where more stomping can ensue. That isn’t enough as Zayn goes after the Jackass crew, allowing Knoxville to spray him with a fire extinguisher. Knoxville busts out some of the weapons but Zayn hits him in the back with the cookie sheet.

A crutch shot does it again and Zayn throws a trashcan at him for two, allowing commentary to get in some Sanford And Sons references. It’s table time…but this one has mousetraps all over it, because of course it does. That takes too long though and Knoxville is back with some trashcan lids to the head. A regular table is loaded up in the corner but Zayn suplexes him through it for two.

The Helluva Kick is cut off by a blast from an air horn, allowing….some other Jackass guy (Party Boy Pawnius?) to come in and take his clothes off. Zayn knocks him outside and kicks him underneath the ring, only to have Wee Man (he’s small) come out and beat Zayn up. Wee Man kicks away at Zayn and hits a slam, setting up a tornado DDT from Knoxville for two. It’s time to bring out something that appears to be a way to launch a boot for automatic low blows, meaning Zayn fights out to break it up.

Zayn goes up but Knoxville pulls out a remote to make pyro go out, causing Zayn to crotch himself. Knoxville grabs a bowling ball to crush Zayn low in the corner and now its taser time. Zayn runs…right into a giant hand which slaps him down. That’s too much for Zayn as he drops Knoxville and goes up, only to get crotched and thrown through the mousetrap table. Back in and Knoxville busts out….a giant mousetrap. Zayn is tased onto it and, after some effort, Knoxville gets it to go off and crush Zayn for the pin at 14:25 (ignore Zayn’s shoulders being on the trap rather than the mat).

Rating: C+. This is going to be a weird one. You know what this felt like? Home Alone as a wrestling match. Zayn was trying to do something but Knoxville busted out so many elaborate traps and pranks (read as violence) to stop him at every turn. Of course Knoxville’s friends were here as they should have been in a situation like this, but it’s much more a big stunt show than a match.

It’s also a good case of something not being for me but having an impact. The stadium was ROCKING during this match and the energy was very high. I don’t watch Jackass and the concept is REALLY not something I care for but the reaction was there and that is why these guys were brought in. Whether it made business sense is hard to tell, but a lot of the fans loved this and that is enough to carry it beyond….whatever it was.

Remember Drew McIntyre beating Happy Corbin and cutting the ropes up with his sword? It happened last night.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina

Carmella/Zelina are defending and Naomi/Banks come out in a VERY expensive looking car. Ripley/Morgan have a Batman or Catwoman theme going to at least have something in common. Corey wastes no time in praising Carmella, who is in part of a wedding dress for her entrance gear.

Carmella masks up so Ripley wants to face her. That brings Carmella in but she hands it off to Banks, who actually tries a test of strength with Ripley. With that not working, Banks tries a Backstabber, which falls apart too. Everything breaks down and some dives leave us with Banks vs. Morgan. A Codebreaker staggers Banks and Oblivion drops her but Natalya tags herself in for a save. Baszler comes in to stomp on Morgan’s ankle until an enziguri breaks it up.

Carmella tags herself in as well and everything breaks down and it’s time for the parade of finishers. Ripley’s superbomb is countered into a hurricanrana from Carmella and we get stereo Towers of Doom out of the corners, leaving everyone down again. Back up and Morgan knocks Naomi into Riptide for two with a save being made.

Baszler’s running knee to Naomi’s face gets two with Morgan making the save this time. Carmella superkicks Baszler and Naomi for two each, meaning screaming ensues. Back up and Naomi kicks Carmella in the face, setting up Banks’ frog splash for two. Banks hits a Meteora to drop Zelina on the floor and Naomi elevates Carmella for a Codebreaker from Banks for the pin and the titles at 10:48.

Rating: D+. This was all over the place and as usual, there is no reason to care about these teams. They were thrown together and given next to no story other than “we want the titles too”. I was having trouble remembering who was on what team as they might as well have drawn names from a hat. In other words, it’s a WWE Women’s Tag Team Title match.

Remember Miz and Logan Paul beating the Mysterios and then splitting up after? It happened last night.

Some Dallas Cowboys are here to a mixed reaction.

We recap Edge vs. AJ Styles. Edge wanted someone to step up so Styles did, with Edge saying he wanted the bulldog version of Styles. Then Edge went nuts and beat down Styles with a Conchairto, putting Styles out of action for a few weeks. Now Styles is back for revenge.

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Styles comes to the ring with a pretty nasty cut on the side of his face that has commentary (and me) confused. Edge appears on an elevated throne sitting on a slightly burning platform, which is at least a cool visual (though I thought it was a statue in the stadium). Styles backs him into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. The drop down into the dropkick sets up some armdrags to put Edge in trouble and some kicks to the leg make it worse.

We settle down a bit with some staring before Edge gets sent to the floor. That lets Styles hit a sliding knee but the springboard 450 only hits knees back inside. Edge starts going after the ribs as the pace slows down a lot. The abdominal stretch is broken up but Edge takes him down with a shoulder breaker to change up the pace. Styles hits a right hand but seems to have to stop and pop his shoulder back in. A suplex sends Edge hard into the corner and they’re both down again.

Edge grabs a double arm crank but has to avoid the Styles Clash. That works out well enough for him though as it’s off to an STF to put Styles in more trouble, though he’s straight over to the rope. A slingshot DDT plants Edge for two, though he’s fine enough to catch Styles on top. Styles slips out and gets a torture rack, which he swings over into a powerbomb for two more. Back up and Styles snaps off a German suplex and they’re both down again.

Styles wins the slugout and adds a Pele kick, setting up the Calf Crusher. Edge reverses that into the Crossface so Styles gets to the ropes again. A slingshot Batista Bomb gives Edge two so they both go up top. This time Styles superplexes him down onto the apron, because WE MUST HAVE AN APRON SPOT.

Now the springboard 450 connects on Edge’s back for a delayed two and they need a breather. Back up and Edge misses the spear, setting up the Styles Clash for two more. With nothing else working, the Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up….and here is Damian Priest for a distraction. Styles tries the Forearm but gets speared out of the air to give Edge the pin at 24:32.

Rating: B-. The action was good, but there were so many delays between that action that it was hard to build anything up. It felt like a main event level match and Styles was hardly crushed, but the Saturday version was much better with Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes doing a similar match. This was by no means bad, but it needed to be about eight minutes shorter to cut out a lot of the down time between moves.

Post match Edge and Priest stare at each other, pose and then leave together.

Tonight’s attendance is 78,453, though the announcer says 77,453. Get it together people.

Sheamus/Ridge Holland vs. New Day

Butch is here with the villains. We see the Big E. injury during the entrances, which isn’t something that should be aired that often (by which I mean ever). In a great touch, New Day wears Big E. style singlets, even in the colors Big E. was wearing when he won the WWE Title. Sheamus and Holland jump them during the entrances and rip off the coats, leaving Butch to throw them around.

Trouble in Paradise hits Holland for two at the bell but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus has to keep Butch from going nuts though, leaving Woods to drop Holland. The Brogue Kick drops Kingston and Butch distracts the referee so Sheamus can Brogue Woods as well. Holland’s Northern Grit finishes woods at 1:39. So Holland (unintentionally) injures Big E. and then gets the pin here, as Butch is now some near feral boy? Right.

Post match Butch has to be pulled off of Woods again, because Pete Dunne is now a crazy man who needs supervision.

Remember when Cody Rhodes returned and beat Seth Rollins? It happened last night.

We honor the Hall of Fame inductees again…including the Undertaker coming out to wave to the crowd. This is the same thing he did last night and here it is again. On a show that is going to be about eight hours combined over two nights, this gets five minutes.

You can bet on the main event!

You can buy Undertaker gear!

You can watch Yellowstone on Peacock!

Long recap of Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory, which was set up when Vince McMahon told McAfee he could have a match. Then Theory started messing with McAfee, who got serious. For some reason, this required Theory to beat both the United States and Intercontinental Champion but show no interest in winning either title. We do get some very cool clips of McAfee training before he came to WWE, just because he wanted to. That’s some serious dedication, and a Rip Rogers cameo always helps.

Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee

Vince McMahon comes out to introduce Theory, his new….protege? I guess? McAfee on the other hand gets an introduction from the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and even punts a football into the crowd during his entrance. McAfee punches him down to start but Theory comes out of the corner with a shot to the throat. A jumping elbow out of the corner and a hurricanrana get McAfee out of trouble as Vince isn’t pleased at ringside.

Theory is back with a snap suplex and then he does it again for a bonus. The third attempt is blocked though and McAfee hits one of his own. They go outside where McAfee does the Rock’s commentary on his own match bit, including a mention of his parents. Back in and McAfee takes WAY too long setting up a Swanton and crashes down hard.

Theory goes up top but McAfee cuts him off and tries a superplex. That’s broken up so McAfee backflips off the top and lands on his feet, only to jump back to the top for the superplex (dang) and a near fall as Cole is WAY behind McAfee here. The Punt misses though and Theory knocks him down again. Theory loads up the ATL…and gets reversed into a rollup to give McAfee the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. That’s on quite the sliding scale as McAfee is in his third WWE match and hasn’t been in the ring in well over a year. I know Theory is going to be fine and it’s a special situation, but this doesn’t exactly make him pinning Finn Balor and Ricochet look very worthwhile. Again though, the fans were WAY into this and that’s all that matters in this case. Not a great match, but McAfee has put in the work and looked competent out there.

Post match Vince glares at Theory and looks up at McAfee….who challenges McMahon for a fight right now. Vince takes off the jacket and shirt, revealing his signature wrestling look (which matches McAfee). Cole is panicking as Vince gets in the ring but then gets even worse when a referee shows up.

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

Austin Theory jumps McAfee from behind to start so McMahon hits some clotheslines. McAfee gets fired up though and stares at Vince…until Austin pulls him down and crotches him against the post. Theory isn’t done though as he throws Vince a football. Vince teases punting it into the crowd before punting it into McAfee’s ribs (that didn’t really work, though I don’t think it was supposed to be anything more than a final insult) for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: D+. This was barely a match (Vince wasn’t touched) and I thought about not even rating it. McAfee gets cheated out of the win but much like last night in the main event, the point of this is having him in the same ring as a legend like McMahon. This is probably going to be (and should be) Vince’s last match ever so there is definitely some awesome historical significance, but it was just Vince hitting some clotheslines and taunting. That being said, WHY DID THEY NOT ANNOUNCE THIS IN ADVANCE??? At least Austin made it clear that a fight was coming, but Vince wasn’t even listed in Theory’s corner.

Post match Theory gets to pose and we have the big hug. Theory’s music starts and Vince panics, which is a warmup for CUE GLASS SHATTER as Steve Austin is here (as you might have guessed). Theory goes after him and gets punched into the corner to set up the Stunner. That leaves Austin alone with Vince, meaning it’s time to get scared. Beer is offered though and Vince accepts, despite looking terrified.

They drink together until Austin tries the Stunner, which goes horribly, horribly wrong. Vince basically falls down and then into the ropes, bounces back, and then goes down first, leaving Austin to land on Vince’s legs. Look this up, as it was so bad that I was unable to speak from laughter. Austin has some beers with McAfee, who gets Stunned as well. The big beer bash is on, with McAfee being shown sneaking in a drink while down on the floor. This was one more farewell for Austin, though it’s a good thing the timekeeper had that much beer around.

Remember when Bianca Belair beat Becky Lynch to win the Raw Women’s Title in a pretty great match? It happened last night.

Wrestlemania XXXIX is in Los Angeles.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar in the World Title unification match. They have been fighting for months (this time, as it’s really more like years) and now it is decided that there can only be one World Champion. Reigns and the Usos laid Lesnar out in Madison Square Garden to make this even more serious/personal. What better place than right here?

Universal Title/WWE Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner take all and Reigns has Paul Heyman with him for a very long entrance. Reigns also gets to tell Wrestlemania to acknowledge him so we can get in another catchphrase before we actually start. Hold on again as we need Big Match intros, with Heyman and Lesnar taking care of the work.

Lesnar hammers away to start and drives Reigns into the corner for some shoulders to ribs. Three overhead belly to belly suplexes have Reigns in more trouble and they head outside. That means Heyman has to panic (Heyman: “I love you! It was all Reigns’ idea!”), which is enough of a distraction for Reigns to sear Lent through the barricade (as tends to happen a lot). Back in and Reigns hits the spear for two, followed by the Superman Punch.

That’s too far for Lesnar, who starts rolling the released German suplexes. Lesnar is holding his ribs, but keeps coming back because this is serious. Another German suplex is countered into another Superman Punch and Lesnar is rocked again. Reigns tries another spear but gets reversed into the F5 for two more.

Another F5 is countered with a rake to the eyes and Reigns knocks Lesnar into the referee. A low blow and belt shot cut Lesnar down for two and frustration is setting in. The spear hits Lesnar in the back so Reigns tries it again, only to get pulled into the Kimura. The rope (which is shoved forward by Heyman) is grabbed for the break but they’re both down. Reigns says it’s out, meaning his shoulder, but comes back with a spear for the pin and the unified titles at 12:14.

Rating: C+. This was a slightly extended version of the stereotypical match that these guys have. You had an exchange of finishers and then someone won, which might be a bit exciting but has been done to death in recent years. Reigns winning was hardly a surprise, but it would have been nicer to see it come in a match with some more drama or intrigue instead of the same formula Lesnar has used for so long.

Reigns poses with Heyman and the titles as Lesnar glares at them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t a disaster like last year’s night two, but this was just ok for the most part. The biggest flaw should be obvious: the amount of time that this show spends on recaps or ANYTHING but getting to the matches advertised. I don’t need to see the matches from last night in fairly long recaps, as I was there to see the show live. Contrary to what WWE thinks, it might be a good idea to cut some things out, but that might not let them fill in so much time that they can brag about later.

As for the wrestling itself, nothing really stands out. There are some good matches, but nothing that is really worth going out of your way to see (your individual mousetrap enjoyment may vary). The show felt like such a rehash of last night, with Austin and Undertaker getting that much time each. It isn’t terrible, but I had fun with the first night and this felt like a followup that you didn’t need to watch.

Overall Overall Rating: B-. Overall, the lesson here continues to be simple: Wrestlemania does not need to be a two night event as WWE does not have the amount of content necessary to make it work. There is SO MUCH FILLER on here that it feels like it could have been trimmed down by about four hours. They hit about eight hours combined, and that isn’t even counting in the four hours of Kickoff Shows.

Now that being said, there is more than enough good in here to make it a show worth seeing (or at least flipping through). This year was all about Austin, Undertaker and McMahon, with Reigns vs. Lesnar feeling almost secondary to what Austin was doing. That won’t sit well with some, but the atmosphere for Austin makes up for so much. Trim it down and it’s great, but as it is, it’s just good.

Results
RKBro b. Street Profits and Alpha Academy – RKO to Gable
Bobby Lashley b. Omos – Spear
Johnny Knoxville b. Sami Zayn – Knoxville pinned Zayn while he was trapped in a giant mousetrap
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley, Natalya/Shayna Baszler and Carmella/Queen Zelina – Elevated Codebreaker to Carmella
Edge b. AJ Styles – Spear
Ridge Holland/Sheamus b. New Day – Northern Grit to Woods
Pat McAfee b. Austin Theory – Rollup
Vince McMahon b. Pat McAfee – Football to the ribs
Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar – Spear

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 28, 2022: They Missed The Point

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2022
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s the last Raw before Wrestlemania and since this company doesn’t have the best ideas, that means this is Wrestlemania Raw. Hopefully that means we get some juice added to what has already been set for the card, because this isn’t looking like the strongest Wrestlemania so far. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going (with Michael Cole being heard saying “yes sir” during his entrance). After a look at Lesnar taking over Roman Reigns’ dressing room on Smackdown and beating up a bunch of security, Lesnar gets to do his own introduction. Lesnar: “That might have been good but it sounded like it sucked.” We are on the way to Wrestlemania so Lesnar is going to give us his game plan for his match with Roman Reigns.

They are going to go down memory lane in Suplex City and then go to the carnival. Reigns is taking a ride on the F5 and no one survives that. After that (and mocking the WHAT chants by saying Steve Austin will be there too, even if he couldn’t beat Lesnar), they’re going to a wedding. Their titles are getting married and having a baby, but Lesnar gets sole custody. See you on Sunday. For someone who doesn’t do this very often, that was at least an original promo and Lesnar sounds like he is having a blast.

Here is Miz for his match with Rey Mysterio, but first he wants to introduce us to the greatest luchador of all time: LUCHA LOGAN! This would be Logan Paul in a stolen Rey mask, with Miz explaining how horrible it was to take Rey’s mask. Cue the Mysterios, but Dominik gets ejected before the bell for jumping Miz.

Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Logan Paul is here too and an early distraction lets Miz take it to the floor. A DDT on the floor drops Rey and we take a break. Back with Miz ripping at Rey’s mask but getting sent off the top so Rey can hit a top rope seated senton. Rey seems to tweak his knee so Miz grabs a slingshot powerbomb, which is countered into a sunset flip to give Rey the pin at 5:25. Ignore Miz’s shoulder being up.

Post match Dominik is back to steal the mask back from Paul. He also helps beat up Miz, with a double 619 and some frog splashes with his dad. Paul looks on without doing anything to help.

Veer Mahaan is here next week.

We look at Seth Rollins attempting to find a path to Wrestlemania and going a bit nuts at his failures.

Earlier today, Rollins was summoned to Vince McMahon’s office, because he was going to get a Wrestlemania match. Rollins was told to be there at 7am but didn’t get in until after 9 for no apparent reason. He was rather excited anyway and put his feet on the table, which didn’t sit well with McMahon.

After being told he wouldn’t be fired, Vince tells him that he didn’t have to jump through all of those hoops. All he was going to have to do was ask but he would have to have his own main event. McMahon says Rollins is going to Wrestlemania against an opponent of his choosing, who he will not know until he is in the ring. Rollins runs around the office.

To recap, after a month of this idiotic story involving Rollins desperately trying to get to Wrestlemania, all he had to do was ask the boss and everything was going to be fine. That is about as lame of a conclusion I could think of and that means I’m not even surprised that they went that way.

Omos vs. Viking Raiders

Erik gets hit with a clothesline to start and rolls outside…..where it’s a countout at 45 seconds. That clothesline was the only move of the match.

Post match, Omos kicks Ivar in the face. Omos is asked about wanting a Wrestlemania opponent….and Bobby Lashley is back. A shove sends Lashley into the corner and he bounces off of Omos. Lashley shoves him away and knocks him down with a flying shoulder. Omos bails to the floor so they can both point at the sign, setting up a Wrestlemania match.

Reggie proposes to Dana Brooke and she says yes. Tamina comes in to try and win the 24/7 Title but Reggie makes the save. Reggie and Dana leave so Akira Tozawa pops up to propose to Tamina as well. She threatens to hit him but then says yes, though he has to wedge the ring on her finger. R-Truth, watching from about five feet away (with binoculars of course), has an idea.

Here is the Bloodline for a chat. After having Pittsburgh acknowledge him, Roman Reigns talks about how he has met Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania before. Lesnar beat him up and left him so bloodied that his family didn’t want him in this business again. Well now we have changed the game. Reigns has taken the advocate and made him a wise man, he has taken the moniker of the longest reigning champion in 35 years and now he is taking the title. Now he is making it personal, because it has always been personal to Reigns. This was the intense Reigns and he was awesome in the role, as usual.

We recap Carmella/Queen Zelina having issues.

Carmella and Zelina seem to be fine during their photo shoot. They remember taking out Shayna Baszler and Natalya, so here are the two of them, with Shayna saying just stay in line tonight with the eight woman tag. Then they’ll take the titles at Wrestlemania.

The Steiner Brothers are going into the Hall of Fame.

Sasha Banks/Naomi/Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina/Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Natalya takes Liv down and tries an early Sharpshooter but gets caught with a headscissors into the corner. Ripley comes in with a basement dropkick to Natalya and it’s off to Zelina instead. Naomi and Banks hit running corner dropkicks and it’s time for the parade of shots to the face. We take a break and come back with Banks knocking Carmella down and making the VERY slow crawl over to Naomi, with Baszler managing to run in for the save. A stretch muffler keeps Banks in trouble but the villains get in an argument. Graves checks on Carmella and it’s the Backstabber into Riptide to pin Vega at 9:19.

Rating: D+. The women’s division is becoming more of a mess every week, as there are almost no stories to be seen aside from the title matches and women being either best friends or hating each other. It feels like the whole thing is designed to be as low level as possible and that makes matches like this, where no one gets to shine, all the worse. I’m not looking forward to the title match, and Carmella/Vega retaining will make it even worse.

We look back at Kevin Owens’ Steve Austin impression from last week.

Video on Steve Austin, set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock. In 2022.

Here is Kevin Owens to talk about how the Kevin Owens Show with Steve Austin will be the main event of Wrestlemania. Owens talks about how Austin is here to have one more talk about the old days instead of a fight, because it has been NINETEEN YEARS since he had a match. They’ll have a beer together at Wrestlemania, even though Owens hates it. Then Owens can finally receive the torch of having the best Stunner in the world because it is better than Austin’s. Owens hits Austin’s catchphrase to wrap it up. He was feeling it here, as has been the case since the segment was announced.

Austin Theory vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet kicks him down to start and hits a standing shooting star press for an early two. The ATL is countered and Ricochet dropkicks him down as the fans want Pat. Ricochet goes up top and gets crotched, setting up the ATL for the completely clean loss at 1:44. I guess there was just no one else in the world that Theory could beat.

Commentary talk about HHH suffering a cardiac moment, which has led to the end of his in-ring career.

Here is Bianca Belair, returning from a throat injury (And doing her dance, because SHE MUST DANCE!) and ranting about how Becky Lynch has knocked her down over and over again but there is nothing that can keep her down. Belair is going to keep fighting no matter what and come back every time.

So Belair will be waiting for her on Sunday, but here is Becky to interrupt. Becky gets in a chair shot and pulls out some scissors to cut Belair’s hair. That takes way too long of course, so Belair reverses into the KOD. Another KOD leaves Becky laying again….so Belair hacks off Becky’s hair. Belair leaves so Becky wakes up and snaps as the fans tell her she deserves it.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Becky Lynch is asked her thoughts about Bianca Belair. Becky: “Bianca, you b****!”

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

Corbin and McIntyre shove each other to start but it’s off to Moss, who gets hammered down in the corner. An overhead belly to belly and a neckbreaker drop Moss, allowing McIntyre to nip up. Corbin walks off and the Claymore finishes Moss at 1:45.

Post match Corbin jumps McIntyre and steals Angela the sword.

Edge is sitting at a desk with a scale next to him. Edge talks about how he wasn’t sure what to do to AJ Styles so he pulled off the veil of mediocrity. Sunday is AJ’s judgment day, so Edge puts a ring on the scale and smiles.

Post break, AJ Styles says if Edge wants the pitbull, that’s what he’s going to get at Wrestlemania. AJ is going to give Edge a beating that he will never forget on Sunday.

Usos vs. RKBro

Non-title with Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura at ringside. The threat of a double RKO sends the Usos bailing to the floor to start so it’s a double belly to back drop onto the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Riddle suplexing and backsplashing Jimmy for two. A Samoan drop cuts Riddle off though and the stomping has him down in the corner.

Orton gets drawn in as Riddle gets caught with a cheap shot as the beating continues. Riddle is taken outside for a whip into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break. Back again with Riddle fighting up again and managing the tag to Orton. House is cleaned and the snap powerslam plants Jey. The hanging DDT connects as Riddle takes out Jimmy on the floor. The RKO is loaded up but the Street Profits run in to jump RKBro for the DQ at 15:25.

Rating: C+. I was pleasantly surprised by the ending there as I would have bet on one of the teams taking a loss. The DQ is the right call to protect both champions so this could have been worse. It’s still weird to see a match like this as the main event on the go home show for Wrestlemania, but you have two good teams and the most popular act on Raw, so it went fairly well.

Post match the brawl is on with Boogs and Nakamura brawling to the back with the Usos. RKBro gets it together to take out the Profits with an RKO each.

One more Wrestlemania rundown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This year’s Wrestlemania is missing emotion. Reigns vs. Lesnar and Austin vs. Owens have been well set up, mainly because it feels like there is emotion. Other than that and maybe one or two other matches, the show feels like it has all been thrown together in something resembling a major event. Almost nothing feels like it has been given time to develop, with celebrities being added in to make up the difference.

Instead of matches I feel like I need to see, it feels like people are doing things to each other and then they’ll do something big at Wrestlemania. That was on full display here, as two matches were added to the card tonight, plus other matches where some people didn’t even appear. As usual, the action was good but everything else just came and went with no particular reason to get interested. That shouldn’t be the case with any show, let alone the one designed to get me to want to watch Wrestlemania.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Miz – Sunset flip
Omos b. Viking Raiders via countout
Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley/Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Shayna Baszler/Natalya/Carmella/Queen Zelina – Riptide to Vega
Austin Theory b. Ricochet – ATL
Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss – Claymore to Moss
RKBro b. Usos via DQ when the Street Profits interfered

 

 

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Smackdown – March 25, 2022: As Frustrated As I Have Been In A Long Time

Smackdown
Date: March 25, 2022
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re eight days away from Wrestlemania and believe it or not, the preview for the show has a picture of Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman, because that is the only thing on this show that matters. It would be nice for the new Intercontinental Champion to get a Wrestlemania match set up, but I wouldn’t bet on it anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s path of rage last week, including the fork lift attack on the Bloodline’s SUV.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar is outside of Reigns’ dressing room and says that he has paid some fines and bought some vehicles, including a blood red SUV for Reigns himself. Now upper management has told him to not have any contact with Reigns, so he’ll be sitting in Reigns’ locker room and wait for a good provoking. Lesnar goes into the empty room, likes what he has found (“Not as good as mine but not bad”) and puts his feet on the table, breaking it in the process. As Lesnar tends to do.

Jimmy Uso vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Jey Uso and Rick Boogs are here too, with Boogs throwing Jey at Jimmy to send us to a break before the bell. The battle over wrist control doesn’t last long so Nakamura gives us a COME ON before taking Jimmy down. Good Vibrations makes it worse for Jimmy and he heads outside for a breather.

Back in and Jimmy gets two off a belly to back suplex, setting up the chinlock. Nakamura fights up but gets sent to the apron and then out to the floor. Jimmy’s suicide dive is cut off by a kick to the head though and we take a break. Back with Nakamura knocking Jimmy down again but Jey jumps Boogs before Kinshasa can launch. The distraction lets Jimmy hit a superkick for two so Jey goes after the guitar. That distraction lets Nakamura hit a spinning kick to the head, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: C-. It’s not a good sign when you need to go double interference and the fact that it’s a singles match to set up a tag match at the pay per view. This is one of WWE’s most overdone tropes and I’m not sure why it is supposed to be impressive. Nakamura is a former multiple time singles champion and a former Royal Rumble winner. Jimmy Uso is a career tag guy with pretty much no notable singles wins. Why is this an accomplishment for Nakamura?

Raw Rebound, focusing on Kevin Owens as Steve Austin.

Brock Lesnar is eating Roman Reigns’ grapes and breaking his bottle of champagne.

Shad Gaspard is receiving the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Drew McIntyre could take out Happy Corbin tonight but he’d rather do it on the biggest stage of them all.

Video on Happy Corbin’s fall and rise back up to the top of the world. Then he joined up with Madcap Moss and took out Drew McIntyre, leading to their Wrestlemania match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ridge Holland

Hold on though, as Kofi has a surprise: Holland is facing the returning Xavier Woods! The fact that Woods was introduced as accompanying Kofi to the ring might take away some of the surprise.

King Woods vs. Ridge Holland

Sheamus and Butch are here too. Holland throws him around to start and gets small packaged for the pin at 46 seconds. Ok then.

Paul Heyman joins us from Roman Reigns’ car after a trip to Del Frisco’s Steakhouse. They’re on their way here and know what Brock Lesnar has done. Threats are made if Lesnar isn’t out of there.

Here’s Ronda Rousey for a chat but first we recap her recent issues with Charlotte. Rousey says she isn’t taking Charlotte’s title, because after Charlotte taps, she can give the title over. Then she’ll be the “Women’s Smackdown Champion.” Rousey: “Why do we have to say women anyway? Call me the Smackdown Champion”.

She calls Charlotte out, but here is Charlotte via satellite to say she isn’t here tonight. Rousey says she broke her first arm at 14 and now she has lost count of how many she has broken. Charlotte laughs it off so Rousey threatens to take her arm off at Wrestlemania. As usual, Rousey is not the most natural speaker.

Kayla Braxton comes in to see Brock Lesnar and asks if he should leave Roman Reigns’ locker room. Lesnar says go find Reigns because he is running out of things to break.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Angel is here with Humberto for the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam and it takes some time for them to find a woman to kiss. We take a break before the match and come back with…this.

Ricochet vs. Angel

Yes they changed the match during the commercial, because WWE likes to do weird things. Angel starts fast but gets set into the corner, allowing Ricochet to nip up. A jumping knee sets up a high crossbody but Humberto offers a distraction, allowing Angel to small package him for the pin at 2:03.

Post match Ricochet says not so fast so let’s do this too.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Ricochet isn’t playing this time and knocks Humberto outside, setting up the big running flip dive to send us to a break. Back with Ricochet hitting a springboard hurricanrana, setting up a middle rope moonsault. Angel’s distraction lets Humberto roll him up for two but Ricochet rolls some suplexes for two. Angel pulls Humberto out of the way of the 630 so Ricochet hits a big dive to wipe Angel out. That sends Angel underneath the ring so Ricochet hits a tornado DDT on the floor. Then Angel grabs the foot and Ricochet is counted out at 7:03.

Rating: D+. Well that’s to be expected. Since there is absolutely no other way to set up a title match than by having the champ lose twice in ten minutes, here we are. Ricochet couldn’t just say he wanted a challenge, have both of them come out, and then say sure I’ll do it. No, that would be too interesting and make him look too good. This is the best idea that they had and that says a lot.

Austin Theory runs up behind Pat McAfee and slaps his headset off. McAfee gives chase but Theory runs into Mr. McMahon’s office, leaving McAfee slapping the door. Shouldn’t McAfee have tripped on the way there and then paid a janitor for messing something up? Seems how most good guys are on this show.

We hear about HHH’s in-ring career being over, which is rather sobering given how close to death he was.

Sasha Banks vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella vs. Queen Zelina

All of their partners are here too. Banks and Ripley clear the ring to start and Rhea hits the Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog. Everyone, including partners, get inside for a big brawl and we take a break. Back with the partners all gone and Baszler saving banks from the Prism Trap. Zelina comes in and covers all three for two each but gets pulled into the Bank Statement.

Baszler tries another save so it’s a double Bank Statement with Ripley having to make a save. Banks has to save Ripley from the Kirifuda Clutch, leaving Baszler to save Banks from Zelina’s Code Red. With Baszler on the floor, Ripley hits a flip dive but Vega takes Ripley out as well. Back in and the Bank Statement makes Vega tap at 8:48.

Rating: C. The champ loses again because that’s how you set up title matches around here. This was another match where everyone was doing stuff until one of them got the pin, which is somehow supposed to make me want to see these four teams in a match at Wrestlemania. It didn’t do so in particular, and I doubt it will either on Raw when the other four do the same thing.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman arrive. Heyman says he’s worried but Reigns says he’ll be fine. Reigns: “But Brock Lesnar won’t.”

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final chat. Reigns says Brock Lesnar better be out of his locker room so we cut to said locker room, where Lesnar is nowhere to be found. We cut to the parking lot, where Lesnar has a PICKAXE to smash up Reigns’ car. Reigns says there won’t be any weapons at Wrestlemania, so Lesnar comes to the ring.

Cue Lesnar through the crowd to stare at Reigns from the announcers’ table. Security comes out so Lesnar grabs a chair and dives onto the guards. Reigns and Heyman (plus the Usos, who just appeared) bail so Lesnar beats up security some more. Reigns pops up on screen and promises to make Lesnar acknowledge him at Wrestlemania.

This was one of the most frustrating endings to a show I have seen in a long time. The segment was good, as have been most of the Lesnar vs. Reigns showdowns. What makes it frustrating is that WWE knows how to make a match feel important but they would rather just focus on this one match than anything else on the show. They have intentionally made Wrestlemania a one match show and it has been such a huge part of what is wrong with this year’s show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I was this annoyed at a WWE show and everything turned on those Ricochet matches. This show felt like it was either actively trying to make everyone (save Lesnar) I’m supposed to cheer for at Wrestlemania look like a loser or trying to make every match as uninteresting as possible. Lesnar vs. Reigns might as well be the whole show and WWE continues to use the same tropes they have used for years to weaker and weaker impact. This show got on my nerves in a big way and that is not a good sign eight days before the biggest weekend of the year.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jimmy Uso – Kinshasa
King Woods b. Ridge Holland – Small package
Angel b. Ricochet – Rollup
Humberto b. Ricochet via countout
Sasha Banks b. Queen Zelina, Shayna Baszler and Rhea Ripley – Bank Statement to Vega

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 21, 2022: Call It A Fluke

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2022
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton

There are two Raws left before Wrestlemania and that means WWE needs to really hammer things home. That is how it should go at least, but you never can tell with what this company is going to do. I’m sure Seth Rollins will be all Wile E. Coyote with one dumb idea after another on his way to his ultimate goal of doing anything at Wrestlemania so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the glass shattering and it’s….Kevin Owens, in an Austin shirt, jean shorts, and a bald cap. Owens does a good enough Austin impression as he insults the crowd for falling for the gag and promises to destroy Austin once and for all at Wrestlemania. Then the glass shatters again, but fool me once and all that, as Owens gets to laugh at the people.

After another threat to Austin, Owens calls for some beers (Steve Austin lagers of course) but can’t catch them. Therefore he yells at the guy to bring them into the ring and Stuns him before pouring some lager over him. You could write this step by step from the second the glass shattered and that’s how it should have been. Sometimes you need to play it by numbers instead of going nuts and screwing something up and they got it as right as they could here.

We look back at Seth Rollins going a bit nuts last week and losing to Kevin Owens for the rights to interview Steve Austin at Wrestlemania.

Rollins doesn’t like the suggestion that he isn’t going to Wrestlemania and starts laughing maniacally. Ignore the CODY chants as he steals the microphone.

Mysterios vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Miz is on commentary as Dominik grabs a springboard wristdrag out to the floor. Back in and a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination puts Dominik down so Rey comes in for the save attempt. The Mysterios clear the ring for stereo dives to the floor and….here’s Seth Rollins. He wants a Wrestlemania spot and he is going to get one, even if his mic keeps giving out out.

Rollins wants the biggest thing at Wrestlemania that will live forever but since his mic gives out, we take a break. Back with Rollins gone and Rey fighting out of a superplex attempt. Dominik comes back in with a high crossbody to Roode, who is right back with a spinebuster for two. The frustration sets in, allowing Dominik to hit a 619 into the frog splash for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: C-. You can only get so much when a large section of the match was spent on looking at Rollins fighting with the microphone. The Mysterios are a team that should make sense on paper but they just aren’t clicking no matter how WWE presents them. That is a problem that WWE is going to have to deal with somehow, but I’ll take it over Dominik getting a singles push at this rate.

Post match Ziggler hits Rey with a superkick and Miz grabs a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor. Miz even steals the mask and the fans freak out as Rey covers his face with a towel.

Seth Rollins is with Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce and explains that he wants to do something at Wrestlemania. Pearce says this isn’t the way to go about it but maybe there is something he and Deville can do. Rollins laughs and walks off.

Miz is on the phone when he is interrupted to be asked about stealing the mask. It turns out that Logan Paul was a big Rey Mysterio fan growing up and he just wanted a mask. The lesson Paul needs to learn is to never meet your heroes, because they can be horrible. Now it is time for Paul to beat up his heroes at Wrestlemania, but first, Miz dares Paul to wear the mask next week on Raw.

Smackdown Breakdown, this week all about Brock Lesnar trying to destroy the Bloodline.

Omos vs. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez

Crews and Azeez jump him before the bell but Omos grabs them by their throats on the floor. They get back in for the opening bell, with Omos hitting a one armed slam. The chokeslam to Crews sets up the double pin at 1:45.

Post match Omos promises to dominate anyone at Wrestlemania.

Video on Edge’s recent trip over the, uh, edge.

Here is the returning AJ Styles for a chat. AJ talks about how he has been gone for a few weeks and that much time is a dangerous thing. He has been watching that clip of Edge attacking him over and over and now he has to see Edge with his mood lighting, asking why. Styles doesn’t care because all he wants to do is kick Edge’s teeth down his throat. Instead, he gets Seth Rollins, who, after hearing the CODY chants, says that rumors don’t make moments.

Rollins has an idea: AJ stays at home for Wrestlemania and Rollins ends Edge’s career instead! Styles passes on the idea, saying that if he can walk, he’ll be facing Edge. This is just like last week when Styles wanted to take Kevin Owens’s spot, sending Rollins into a rant about how he’s running out of options. Styles isn’t cool with everything going on with Rollins right now so here are Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to interrupt. Pearce says Rollins is getting one more chance at Wrestlemania, because if he can beat Styles tonight, he can face Edge instead. Styles clears Rollins out in a hurry.

Carmella is on her phone again when Queen Zelina interrupts. Zelina doesn’t think Carmella is taking their Wrestlemania title defense seriously but Carmella blows her off. Instead Zelina throws the phone away and tells her to get her head in this. That’s good for a slap and the brawl is on.

AJ Styles yells at Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about their decision but promises to win anyway.

Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Ripley takes Baszler down to start and it’s off to Morgan, who gets pulled into the wrong corner. Natalya comes in and drops Morgan down, allowing Shayna to crank on the arm. Cue Carmella to cry to Corey Graves about what happened to her as Morgan fights out of the corner. Baszler pulls Ripley off the apron though, leaving Natalya to hit Morgan with the discus lariat. The Hart Attack gives Baszler the pin at 3:48.

Rating: C. This is where the title match at Wrestlemania is going to fall apart (because it means so much in the first place): since there are so few teams in the division, they are going to have to face each other and knock one another down, leaving no one worth anything once we get to Wrestlemania, where Zelina and Carmella likely retain anyway.

Post match Carmella beats up Baszler and Natalya before posing with Queen Zelina, who approves so hugging can ensue.

We look at Becky Lynch injuring Bianca Belair last week.

Here is Becky for a chat. She sits in a chair and asks what it profits a man to gain the world but to lose his soul. Becky went fifteen months without the Raw Women’s Title and it is worth it to give given up her soul to get the title back. This week she was going to go after Belair’s hair but Belair is injured too. It’s a throat for a throat and Becky would sell out over and over again if it meant keeping her title. At Wrestlemania, she’ll show Belair what profits she has gained. This felt like an explanation for a heel turn that took place seven months ago.

We recap Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory.

Theory is ready for the dumb jock McAfee and he wants to make Vince McMahon proud..

Veer Mahaan is coming on April 4.

Aust….WAIT WHAT??? THEY SET A DATE??? Somebody get my medicine.

Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor

Non-title and here is Pat McAfee to join commentary. An early rollup gives Balor two and he’s back with a basement dropkick. Theory gets kicked out to the floor, where McAfee mocks him with some weird dancing. The distraction lets Balor hit a shotgun dropkick against the barricade and we take a break.

Back with McAfee cheerleading Balor to his feet for the comeback, only to have Theory knock him outside. Balor sends him into the announcers’ table over and over, setting up the shotgun dropkick into the corner. The Coup de Grace misses though and Theory takes Balor down, drawing McAfee up to the apron. The ATL is broken up but Theory is right back with a brainbuster onto the knee for two. Another McAfee distraction cuts Theory off though and the small package gives Balor the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C. This was all about McAfee vs. Theory as the US Champion was left out there in a feud that has nothing to do with him. I’m still not sure why this is McAfee vs. Theory instead of Theory going after the Intercontinental Title, as Ricochet has nothing going on and it isn’t like McAfee is being brought in especially for this show. The match was good enough while it wasn’t focused on the announcer, but that was the case most of the time.

We look at the Raw Tag Team Title situation, which is leading to RKBro defending against Alpha Academy and the Street Profits in a triple threat at Wrestlemania.

RKBro vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. Before the match Chad Gable promises that the Academy is winning the titles at Wrestlemania. Gable cranks on Orton’s arm to start but Orton brings him into the corner. The assisted Floating Bro gives Riddle two but Gable sends him into the wall that is Otis. Riddle fights back with some running forearms, only to be knocked outside for the running Otis clothesline as we take a break. Back with Riddle making the hot tag to Orton (big reaction for that) and house is cleaned. The hanging DDT hits Gable for two as Otis makes the save. Riddle comes back in and jumps Gable, setting up the Bro Derek for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: C+. RKBro continues to be the most popular act on Raw and they continue to put on some of the most consistent matches on the show as well. It makes sense to keep them together this long and I’m not sure where they go from here. For the first time in forever, I want to see a team stay together and it is going to be a big deal when they finally split up, because they have gelled that well.

Post match the Street Profits run in and take out both teams.

Dana Brooke was attacked by Akira Tozawa earlier this week but manages to escape with the title again, as Tozawa continues to screw things up.

Dana Brooke/Reggie vs. Akira Tozawa/Tamina

Non-title. Earlier today, Tamina choked Tozawa and demanded to get the 24/7 Title. We start with a game of chicken but Tozawa can’t hold Tamina up. Instead he gets on her shoulders and locks up with Dana until Tamina kicks Reggie in the ribs. Tamina and Tozawa are sent into the corner, where Tamina falls face first into a low blow on Tozawa. The running flipping seated senton gives Reggie the pin at 1:04. This is a thing that continues to be on Raw every week.

We recap the opening segment.

AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins

The winner gets Edge at Wrestlemania. Styles grabs a headlock to start but gets knocked down by a running shoulder. A Pedigree attempt is countered though and AJ sends him over the top and out to the floor. The slingshot forearm takes Rollins down again and we take a break. Back with Styles fighting out of a cravate but missing a charge into the post. That’s good for a nine count on the floor so Rollins chops away in the corner back inside. A running dropkick in the Tree of Woe (that was nasty) gives Rollins two but AJ fights back again.

Rollins breaks up a springboard though and AJ goes crashing back to the floor. Rollins’ suicide dive connects and we take another break. Back again with Rollins letting go of a cravate and screaming about how he needs this to Styles. The slugout goes to Styles, including the running forearm in the corner. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two and a belly to back faceplant gets the same.

Styles can’t hit the Styles Clash as Rollins escapes and grabs a Falcon Arrow for two of his own. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence until AJ suplexes him into the corner. AJ takes him up top but Rollins slips off and bangs up his leg, allowing Styles to grab a torture rack swing into a powerbomb for two more. The Phenomenal Forearm is superkicked out of the air though and Rollins hits the Buckle Bomb. AJ slips out to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Edge comes in with a chair to Styles for the DQ at 22:44.

Rating: B. Again, what would you expect from two guys of this caliber getting this much time in a featured match? That is the kind of thing that you do not see very often and it is special when it does, as both of them got to look good. I don’t think there was much doubt about the result, but the match being rather good makes up for that.

Post match Rollins snaps and says the show doesn’t happen next week unless he gets what he wants. Things are broken at ringside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. What mattered here was it felt like the show was taking things seriously (24/7 Title stuff aside) and the talking segments worked better than in recent weeks. They helped advance some things towards Wrestlemania, with Owens’ segment working out well. I’m not sure how we get to what should be the pretty obvious end game for Rollins but they put it in the prime spot this week and it felt bigger as a result. I liked this show, though it felt like a fluke rather than a change of pace.

Results
Mysterios b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Roode
Omos b. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez – Double pin
Natalya/Shayna Baszler b. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley – Hart Attack to Morgan
Finn Balor b. Austin Theory – Small package
RKBro b. Alpha Academy – Bro Derek to Gable
Dana Brooke/Reggie b. Tamina/Akira Tozawa – Running flipping seated senton to Tozawa
AJ Styles b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Edge interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown – March 18, 2022: The Kind Of Show I Like

Smackdown
Date: March 18, 2022
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

Wrestlemania is two weeks from tomorrow and we have most of the card set. There are still some matches to be made, but most of this show is probably going to be about building on what has already been started. That can make for some successful shows, but the stories need to be good in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In memory of Scott Hall.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns attacking Brock Lesnar at Madison Square Garden, leading to Lesnar trying to eat Paul Heyman last week.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. Reigns tells the crowd to acknowledge him before moving on to Lesnar. Hold on though as Heyman interrupts, saying that due to a bad weather patter, Lesnar is stuck in Canada and will not be here tonight. The fans want Lesnar and Reigns says he wants the same thing.

Reigns talks about how he would have smashed Lesnar had be been here but keeps cutting off Heyman from saying something else. He finally lets Heyman give his update: Lesnar has landed and he’s on his way here! Heyman: “WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?” Reigns: “I know what I’m gonna do: I’m gonna let you wrap it up and we’re gonna get out of here.” Everyone bails in a hurry after a runny moments from Reigns.

After a look at what’s coming tonight, the Bloodline is running away and gets in their car. Cue Lesnar, on a forklift (which was apparently just laying around), to stab the lift through the car and, during a break, turn it its side. The Bloodline escapes and gets in a truck, which Lesnar chases down and rips a door off as they peel out again. Lesnar even dropped his hat.

Here is Lesnar in the arena, with the truck door, saying he is a little fired up. Roman Reigns has unleashed the bipolar beast. In two weeks, at Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to do more than blow the door off because he’s coming for blood so Reigns better be prepared.

We look back at Rick Boogs earning a Tag team Title shot at Wrestlemania for himself and Shinsuke Nakamura.

Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Los Lotharios

Humberto and Nakamura start things off, with Nakamura not being thrilled at the kiss blown his way. COME ON sets up the beatdown to start, including Good Vibrations in the corner. The running knee to the ribs gets two so it’s Angel coming in to take over with some double teaming. Angel TAKES OFF HIS PANTS and it’s a double basement dropkick to the back for two on Nakamura.

That doesn’t last long but the comeback is cut off so Nakamura can get beaten down some more. A cheap shot takes Boogs off the apron and a running shot to the face gets two on Nakamura. That’s broken up this time though and the hot tag brings in Boogs to start cleaning house. The Boogs Cruise finishes Angel at 4:46.

Rating: C. Now this is the kind of match that can do some good for Nakamura and Boogs. While they’re somewhat established as a team, they can use a few more wins on the way to their title shot. Granted it might have made more sense to do that the other way around, but at least they are starting to put something together and that is how you build a team up.

We look back at Drew McIntyre fighting off a three on one beatdown last week.

Happy Corbin is ready to win, though Madcap Moss’ joke (What do you call an episode of Happy Time that puts everyone to sleep? Nappy time!) has everyone looking at him.

Viking Raiders/Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin/Shanky/Jinder Mahal

Madcap Moss is here with the villains. Shanky takes Erik into the corner to start so it’s off to Mahal, who gets dropped by the Vikings. Ivar cleans house but Corbin plants him with a spinebuster and we take a break. Back with Mahal putting Ivar in a chinlock, which is broken up without much trouble. The hot tag brings in McIntyre to take out Mahal and Shanky as Corbin and Moss watch from the floor. A Michinoku Driver sets up the Claymore to finish Shanky at 7:14.

Rating: C-. It is becoming more and more clear that there is little way to make Corbin vs. McIntyre interesting. McIntyre is on another level than Corbin and it feels like they are trying to fill in as much time as they can before the match and its inevitable ending. This wasn’t even that interesting of a match, but some of that might have to do with how little I care to see the end result.

Sami Zayn is sick of Johnny Knoxville and his childish pranks. Zayn wants their Wrestlemania match to be anything goes.

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan

Carmella and Queen Zelina are at ringside. Morgan and Banks start things off with Banks wristdragging her down. They trade rollups for two each and stereo dropkicks give us a standoff. Naomi comes in and takes Liv down for the splits splash but it’s off to Ripley instead. As Carmella shows off her engagement ring, Ripley hits a basement dropkick for two on Naomi and then powers out of a headlock.

Banks gets her chance but can’t manage a suplex on the bigger Ripley. Instead Ripley hits a delayed vertical suplex for two, allowing the tag back to Morgan. Banks and Naomi are sent outside so Ripley can cannonball them down from the apron as we take a break (with the champs being very happy).

We come back with McAfee pointing out that these three teams were all thrown together as Ripley fights out of a chinlock. Banks comes back in for the double knees in the corner to Morgan, setting up the middle rope Meteora for two. Morgan enziguris her way out of trouble so Ripley can come in with a heck of a missile dropkick for two on Banks. Riptide is broken up though and it’s a Backstabber from Banks to set up the split legged moonsault for two, with Morgan diving in for the save. A double superplex to Ripley is turned into a Tower of Doom….but Natalya and Shayna Baszler come in for the double DQ at 11:50.

Rating: B-. This was cooking near the end but then they had to do something to add yet another thrown together team into the Wrestlemania title match. Fair enough as they already have two thrown together teams so why not make it a third? I do like that neither of the teams took a fall, but dang I wanted to see more of this and the interference was a letdown.

Post match the big beatdown is on with the champs joining in. Natalya and Baszler say they’re coming for the titles so Carmella and Vega get nervous. Some Natalya sign pointing makes things even more clear.

Johnny Knoxville is in on the anything goes deal.

Pat McAfee has been summoned to Vince McMahon’s office.

Sonya Deville approves of Natalya and Shayna Baszler, so they’re in the Women’s Tag Team Title match too.

Here is McAfee back in the arena and getting into the ring. McAfee talks about seeing professional wrestling (his words) for the first time as a kid and it shaped him forever. He always wanted to do something and after he retired from the NFL, he got a call from Michael Cole, who offered him a job doing commentary on Smackdown.

McAfee talks about going from city to city but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. As per Vince McMahon’s orders, McAfee has to apologize for last week, so McAfee apologizes for giving him that beat. He also apologizes for Theory’s parents hating him and for Theory being a punk b****. Theory takes a selfie, laughs about the apology, and shoves McAfee being running off.

We look back at Brock Lesnar chasing the Bloodline into the parking lot and ripping the door off the hinges.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura go mountain biking.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ridge Holland

Butch and Sheamus are here too. Before the match, we look at Big E.’s injury and his various messages, including saying how touched he is by the outpouring of success and promising to get better. It’s a brawl to start with Holland being knocked outside and Kofi trust falls him into the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Kofi fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away. Kofi starts the real comeback and hits the Boom Drop but a Sheamus distraction lets Butch shove Kofi off the top. Butch gets ejected but tries to come back in. That’s enough of a distraction for Holland to hit Northern Grit for the pin at 6:52.

Rating: C. I think you can see where this is going and that would be Xavier Woods returning to help Kingston even the odds up a little bit. I double they get a third person for the match but at least 3-2 is a bit better. Holland winning is certainly a way to go here, but they did at least offer him a bit of remorse by having commentary talk about him apologizing to Big E. It isn’t meant to be some evil deed but rather an accident and I think I like that better than exploiting such a terrible situation.

Long recap of Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte’s recent issues, with Rousey making Charlotte tap to the ankle lock. Charlotte couldn’t make Rousey tap last week though and frustration seems to have set in.

Here is Charlotte for the closing chat. Charlotte talks about her dominance and says no one has caused Ronda Rousey more pain than her. She is going to beat Rousey at Wrestlemania because she is the mountain that Rousey has to climb. Rousey does not have what it takes to win so she will go back home and make another baby after it’s over. Actually Charlotte can’t wait, so come out here right now and take a beating in Charlotte’s hometown.

Cue Rousey, ignoring Kayla Braxton’s warnings that it might be a trap, but Charlotte pulls out a kendo stick. Rousey ducks the big swing though and goes for the armbar, sending Charlotte outside. That’s fine with Rousey, who follows her out for the ankle lock. Charlotte breaks that up with a kendo stick shot but the choking won’t make Rousey tap. Instead, Charlotte powerbombs her through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I can always go for a show that feels like it has goals in mind and then sets out to accomplish those goals. That is what we got here, as this show focused on a variety of either Wrestlemania matches or stories that are going to become Wrestlemania matches and built them up. Wrestlemania has needed some shows like this and it was nice to see one that didn’t go flying off the rails. My one issue: Ricochet was nowhere to be seen and seems to be waiting on a last second addition to make Wrestlemania. He’s the Intercontinental Champion and that shouldn’t be his best option.

Results
Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Los Lotharios – Boogs Cruise to Angel
Viking Raiders/Drew McIntyre b. Happy Corbin/Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Claymore to Shanky
Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley went to a double DQ when Shayna Baszler and Natalya interfered
Ridge Holland b. Kofi Kingston – Northern Grit

 

 

 

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