Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We’re on the way to both Rebellion and No Surrender, meaning things are going to slowly start taking shape. That is not a bad thing either, as Impact is a lot better when they have a focus. Odds are we’re coming up on Moose vs. Rich Swann for the World Title, which should be something good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Matt Hardy and Private Party invading last week and becoming #1 contenders to the Tag Team Titles.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Rich Swann for a chat. Swann talks about everything that he did to get back here and now he has a target on his back. For now though he has something to take care of so he would like Tommy Dreamer to come out here right now. Swann talks about No Surrender being on February 13, which happens to be Dreamer’s 50^th birthday. He watched Dreamer back in the land of extreme and now wants to repay the favor by giving Dreamer a shot at the title.

Cue Sami Callihan to say this is Dreamer trying to get himself over as usual. Swann lost to Kenny Omega and embarrassed the company. Sami is the heart and soul of the company and deserves a title shot. Cue Chris Bey to say that February 13 is his birthday as well so he should get a title shot. Now it’s Moose coming out everyone is scared to challenge for his title so he’s here to interject. Swann has never beaten him and Moose knows he remembers when Moose nearly decapitated Willie Mack.

Yeah Swann remembers, but Moose said the title shot was on his time. The No Surrender match is already set so now it’s on Swann’s time. Cue Willie Mack to Stun Bey and go after Moose, with Striker not exactly being excited about the whole thing. The villains bail and the six man seems imminent for later. Sami makes the lights go out and here’s Ken Shamrock to jump Swann, Mack and Dreamer with the rest of the villains joining him in the beatdown.

Post break, Swann and company are ready for a match tonight, with Dreamer promising to “UFC Shamrock’s a**.” They go to see Scott D’Amore, who says they look terrible. The match is on but D’Amore thinks they need a fourth. Now Impact’s resident mathematician Scott Steiner isn’t available, but D’Amore has an idea. There is someone in his office and the trio looks very pleased.

Here’s what’s coming tonight and at No Surrender.

Matt Cardona/Josh Alexander vs. Ace Austin/Madman Fulton

Fallout from an interview gone bad last week. Alexander goes for Fulton’s ankle to start and gets kicked into the corner for his efforts. Austin comes in and gets planted down in a hurry before it’s off to Cardona (with the bright lime green trunks). A clothesline puts Austin on the floor and Alexander backdrops Cardona onto the two of them for a big crash. We take a break and come back with Alexander getting caught in a side slam/middle rope legdrop combination. Austin drives a knee into the back and pulls Alexander into the corner as we’re firmly in the tag formula.

A claw legsweep gives Fulton two but Alexander manages to kick him into Austin, allowing the hot tag to Cardona. That means the middle rope dropkick to rock Austin but it’s too early for the Reboot. Instead Cardona settles for two off a slingshot splash but Fulton makes the save and drags Austin to the corner. Everything breaks down and Alexander slugs away on Fulton to knock the monster to his knees. Cardona charges at Austin, who launches him into a Rough Ryder (going to need a new name) to finish Fulton at 10:18.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going and I’m still not big on a lot of what Cardona does in the ring, but he looked smooth here. Maybe he can get somewhere on his own and if that is case, great for him for proving himself right after all the years in WWE. It’s also nice to see more of Austin, who I would like to see move up the ladder around here. The same is true of Alexander, even if he is still playing second fiddle in a tag team.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Matt Hardy debuts at Genesis 2011 against Rob Van Dam. It’s only his entrance and this only lasts about a minute.

Rohit Raju is all fired up to win the X-Division Title back but he needs someone (off camera) to help him. Whoever it is seems to agree.

It’s time for the weekly visit from Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone. They care about each other, just like Khan cares about the wrestling fans. He sees Impact as his own fantasy wrestling league. Last week he was in the zone with Matt Hardy, Jerry Lynn and Matt Hardy and now Private Party might win the Impact Wrestling Tag Team Titles. They would have to beat the Good Brothers, who happen to be on Dynamite tomorrow night! Schiavone runs down the Dynamite card and Khan talks about Beach Break.

Brian Myers runs into Matt Cardona in the back and doesn’t seem impressed. Myers leaves and Cardona says that was a bad move.

Eddie Edwards vs. Brian Myers

Eddie, who is rather banged up from Barbed Wire Massacre, sends him over to the ropes to start and we get a clean break. The referee yells at Myers over a possible hair pull so Eddie snaps off a belly to belly to the floor. There’s a suicide dive to take Myers down as it’s all Eddie so far. Back in and Myers rolls right back to the floor, where he gets in a shot to Eddie’s bad arm.

Myers stomps away in the corner and trips Eddie down but he comes back with some clotheslines. As Striker says that whoever is in D’Amore’s office will be the next Lex Luger at the Great American Mall (I believe he means Mall of America, as again Striker isn’t as smart as he tries to sound), Eddie hits a Backpack Stunner. Myers grabs a Downward Spiral and loads up his clothesline, only to charge into a thumb to the eye. Eddie drives him down with the thumb in the eye and gets DQ’ed at 6:14.

Rating: C. I haven’t been big on Myers since he started getting pushed but this worked out well enough. Granted that might be due to Eddie Edwards being in there, but at least we didn’t have to see Myers win another match with a clothesline. Eddie going more heelish could be interesting, assuming they actually pull the full trigger this time around.

Fire and Flava want their celebration to be awesome and hope they sold enough tickets. Johnny Swinger walks by with a group of women, saying the palace is this way. Kiera Hogan says she has the worst idea.

Matt Hardy praises Private Party for their win last week but they did it because of him. They are ready to win the Tag Team Titles at No Surrender but are also going to win the battle royal to get the AEW Tag Team Title shot at Revolution. He’ll even throw in a bonus by not taking as much off the top of their checks! It’s time to go be winners.

Tenille Dashwood vs. Rosemary

Dashwood has Kaleb With A K with her while Rosemary, with far less face paint than usual, has Crazzy Steve. Rosemary runs her over to start but Kaleb gets up for a distraction, allowing Dashwood to unload with the camera bag for two. Dashwood grabs a neckbreaker over the apron to send Rosemary outside, where she punches Kaleb in the face.

That earns her a trip back inside, where Rosemary grabs the Upside Down. With that broken up, Dashwood runs her over for two more. The seated full nelson goes on but Rosemary fights up and runs her over with a clothesline. There’s a fall away slam to send Dashwood flying but the spear only hits corner. Not that it matters as As Above, So Below finishes Dashwood at 4:55.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the problem here was but Rosemary looked rather different here, seeming a bit slower and without the same spark in her eyes. She hasn’t looked the same since returning from her knee injury, but that has been a long time now. This didn’t work so well for her, and hopefully that isn’t the new norm.

XXXL is glad to be back when Rosemary and Crazzy Steve come up. Larry lays out Steve so Rosemary barks at both of them.

We go to Swinger’s Palace, where John E. Bravo is dealing Blackjack to Fallah Bahh, who loses quite a bit. Fire and Flava come in and want them to go the party, including the Swingerellas, who can serve drinks. Fallah Bahh can’t come because he has no money, which makes Swinger (in an extreme closeup) laugh at him. The sad Bahh is left alone.

Deonna Purrazzo brags to Kimber Lee and Susan about retaining the Knockouts Title. Lee and Susan brag about beating Jazz and Jordynne Grace, who pop in to issue the challenge. Grace calls Susan Susie, who does not like the old name. The match is on for next week.

And now it’s Fire and Flava Fest, with Alisha as emcee and promising to praise her homies. The only guests here are a referee, John E. Bravo, Johnny Swinger and the Swingerellas. Alisha introduces Fire and Flava, with Kiera Hogan (the Fire) loudly bragging about their win. Tasha Steelz (that would be the Flava) talks about how they promised they would be here and it’s time to star the party. The six guests aren’t exactly making that much noise, with the referee saying this is a dumpster fire. Hogan: “YOUR OUTFIT IS A DUMPSTER FIRE!”

It’s time for the Swingerellas to hand out the food, which means some boxed sandwiches. Bravo complains about the bread so it’s time for the booze, which Alisha spits out after one sip. Hold on though as there is a Marshmallow Man at ringside, which Steelz knows is Fallah Bahh. Actually it’s Nevaeh, who decks Steelz. Havok pops up and clotheslines Hogan but can’t quite put her through the table. Catering is destroyed and Alisha declares Havok and Nevaeh the winners. Of what isn’t clear, but they win.

James Storm and Chris Sabin have a drink and agree that while they might not be the Motor City Machine Guns or Beer Money, they’re something. Now they need the Tag Team Titles. Storm likes the idea so let’s have some shots.

Fire and Flava aren’t thrilled with what happened so here’s the referee, who complains that he got nothing of what he was promised and wants a refund. That’s not happening…..and we spent two weeks to set up a FYRE FEST JOKE??? It was old a year and a half ago when AEW did it and now we had a ten minute segment to set it up in 2021????

Joe Doering vs. Cousin Jake

The rest of Violent By Design is at ringside. Jake goes right at Doering to start and gets knocked out of the corner. A slam sets up a rebound elbow drop to keep Jake in trouble but Doering misses a crossbody. Jake tries a dive over the top but Doering kind of knocks him away. Back in and Jake hits a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner but walks into the crossbody. A big clothesline finishes Jake at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Doering is a huge guy but he feels like the latest giant monster who is going to cause trouble for a bit. I don’t particularly need to see the trope again, but maybe Doering can learn to do something other than sneer and make things better. It just feels like something that has been done so many times before and it isn’t thrilling here.

Post match the beatdown is on and they load up the Pillmanizing (with Striker saying the word with WAY too much enthusiasm and explaining who it is named after) but Young says hang on. They leave Jake with a Violent By Design shirt and walk away.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Moose/Chris Bey/Ken Shamrock/Sami Callihan vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Tommy Dreamer/???

The mystery partner is…..Trey Miguel, who has not been around in about two months. Striker: “For me, on a personal level, this is exciting.” Bey tags himself in to take Moose’s place, because he wants to face Dreamer. That doesn’t last long so it’s off to Swann for a rolling splash/elbow combination to keep Bey down. We take a break and come back with Bey still in trouble but he manages to get Swann over for the tag off to Sami.

The package piledriver is broken up and Swann snaps off a headscissors. Mack comes in to run Sami over and hit a standing moonsault. A dropkick takes out Mack’s knee though and Shamrock comes in to take over. Sami’s shoulder to the ribs makes Mack’s eyes bug out and the villains take turns beating him up. Mack punches Bey in the jaw to escape the corner but another dropkick takes his knee out again. Sami grabs a standing leglock and Moose powerbombs Bey onto Mack for two.

Since Bey can’t keep anything going tonight, Mack nails him with a pip up right hand, allowing the hot tag off to Miguel. The pace picks up in a hurry, including an atomic drop into something like a jumping Stunner/Codebreaker on Sami. Shamrock suplexes Miguel hard though and everything breaks down. Sami powerbombs Miguel but walks into a cutter from Dreamer. Moose spears Mack but gets missile dropkicked by Miguel. A hard suplex puts Miguel down again but he snaps off a hurricanrana to pin Sami at 12:18.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty standard main event formula match and it worked out well. The main point was the return of Trey Miguel though and that was quite the success. He has an energy to him that you aren’t going to see in most people around here and I’m glad to have him back. Now just let him win something for a change, because otherwise it’s the same problem all over again.

Post match Shamrock and Callihan are left alone, so Shamrock ankle locks the referee to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The ending helped, but this was a flat show otherwise with almost nothing important or energetic throughout the show. The lack of AEW praise for the most part helped, but man they aren’t doing themselves any favors. Tommy Dreamer gets a World Title shot? The Edgeheads Explode? Eric Young gets another low level goon? A freaking Fyre Fest joke? I need a lot more than that to make two hours work and as fun as Miguel is, he isn’t enough to fix all that.

Results

Matt Cardona/Josh Alexander b. Ace Austin/Madman Fulton – Pop up Rough Ryder to Fulton

Brian Myers b. Eddie Edwards via DQ when Edwards poked him in the eye

Rosemary b. Tenille Dashwood – As Above So Below

Joe Doering b. Cousin Jake – Running clothesline

Trey Miguel/Tommy Dreamer/Rich Swann/Willie Mack b. Moose/Sami Callihan/Ken Shamrock/Chris Bey – Hurricanrana to Callihan

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re done with Hard To Kill and the big story seems to be Kenny Omega being primed up for a shot against Impact Wrestling World Champion Rich Swann. I’m not sure when that could be taking place as Impact is off pay per view until late April, but maybe they have something in mind. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hard To Kill if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Hard To Kill.

After the show ended, Don Callis praised Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers on their win. Callis stopped to talk to the camera though, saying it was a good example of what the Invisible Hand can do. He and Omega are heading back to Jacksonville, but they’ll be back.

Opening sequence.

Eric Young vs. Rhino

Young has Deaner and Joe Doering while Rhino has Cousin Jake. Rhino knocks him down to start and it’s time for Young to take a breather on the floor. Jake isn’t having that and throws Young back inside, where he gets in a quick low blow to take over. The jumping stomps ensue and we hit the neck crank to keep Rhino down. Commentary compares AEW invading to the Monday Night Wars as Rhino fights out and throws Young down for a breather. That’s enough to have Deaner get up for a distraction and Doering comes in for a cheap shot to Rhino’s leg. A heel hook makes Rhino tap at 4:03.

Rating: D. This was a nothing match with Young getting to show how evil and vile his team is in case we hadn’t gotten the idea in the first dozen or so examples. Young just doesn’t feel like some evil mastermind no matter what Impact says but this seems like something that is going to have some legs.

Post match Young and company beat Rhino down and Pillmanize his leg while making Jake watch.

Here’s a recap of Hard To Kill and a chat about how important the main event was.

After Hard To Kill was over, Moose attacked Rich Swann.

Swann is ready to prove he is the World Champion.

Acey Romero and John E. Bravo talk to Tommy Dreamer, saying that Larry D. is being framed. They have found matching fingerprints on both the Ring Rust cologne and the gun. Dreamer is intrigued.

Here are the Good Brothers for a chat. They’re awesome you see and are going to be Tag Team Champions for as long as they want. It’s always going to be the Magic Killer, the pin and a just too sweet….but here’s Chris Sabin to interrupt. Sabin talks about how the Good Brothers stole the Motor City Machine Guns Tag Team Titles because neither of the Guns were ever pinned. They want a rematch, but Gallows points out Sabin’s lack of a partner. Sabin does have a partner though, and here’s James Storm.

They get in the ring with Storm listing off Sabin’s resume and reciting his song lyrics as he gets in the Brothers’ faces. The challenge is thrown down….and here are Matt Hardy and Private Party (from AEW) to interrupt. Matt says that Private Party has a chance to be the second best tag team ever (after the Hardys of course).

They have a six man tag tomorrow night but tonight, Private Party can get in the ring. Matt will get 50% of the money tonight because it’s a third party and tomorrow it’s the usual 30%, meaning Matt is getting 260%! Storm says that’s some bad math and this is a private conversation. Matt doesn’t want to hear it because he saved this company, so tonight it can Private Party challenging the Good Brothers for the Tag Team Titles. Hardy: “Those titles belong to my brother and I! Impact stripped them from us in some stupid teleportation angle!”

Gallows has a better idea: the two teams can face off tonight for a title shot. That works for Hardy, who gives Private Party a pep talk and threatens the other teams. The truth is the truth. That was a nice surprise and Private Party could use a change of scenery at this point and this could help them.

Matt Cardona says he’s here for an opportunity and wants to prove the fans right.

We recap the Knockouts Tag Team Titles, including Fire and Flava winning them at the pay per view.

Kaleb With A K and Tenille Dashwood seem confused with Fire and Flava come up to ask if they’re going to be there for the title celebration. Johnny Swinger comes up to offer the two for one special again. Swinger tries to get both of them at once so they bring up the stolen money. Fallah Bahh comes in to accuse everyone of being a thief but here is Brian Myers. Bahh and Myers don’t like each other and a match seems likely for later.

Kimber Lee/Susan vs. Jordynne Grace/Jazz

Deonna Purrazzo is here with Lee and Susan. It’s a brawl to start with Grace and Jazz cleaning house and Jazz getting two on Susan. The chinlock goes on and Jazz adds some crossface shots. Grace comes back in for the shoulders in the corner and takes it outside. The beating continues but Kimber grabs Grace by the hair for a takedown as we go to a break.

Back with Susan hammering on Grace and choking on the rope. Grace is fine enough to catch Susan on top but the fireman’s carry is escaped. A spinning kick to Grace’s hands in front of her face gets two and Lee chops her down in the corner. Lee misses a charge in the corner though and Grace blasts her with a clothesline.

There’s the tag off to Jazz and Susan gets one of her own. Susan’s jacket comes off but Jazz punches her into the corner anyway like a villain should (even though Jazz isn’t a villain). Grace hits some running knees in the corner and adds a backsplash, setting up Jazz’s DDT. Lee makes a save and argues with the referee, allowing Purrazzo to get in a belt shot so Susan can get the pin at 10:42.

Rating: C. Not too bad here as the numbers game cost the heroes a win. Grace and Jazz don’t need to be a long term team but if Jazz can give her a rub during her last run, good for them. I’m getting into Purrazzo and her minions, so maybe they have a little something here with them.

Taya Valkyrie is asked about losing at Hard To Kill when John E. Bravo comes in to yell at her. Dreamer and Romero come in to accuse her of causing Larry D. to shoot Bravo….and she admits it. Taya shouts that she wants Bravo dead and gets taken away by police. Dreamer thinks she’s going to prison in Jacksonville, Stamford (Dreamer: “For two years with an option for three.”) of maybe Baltimore. Dreamer: “It’s finally over.” Thank badness.

Taya is taken away but the cops let her stop to talk to Rosemary, who isn’t happy. Rosemary says they had a plan but Taya breaks down and talks about what their friendship meant. Rosemary pulls her into a hug as Taya is escorted outside. She says this is why they don’t have friends, but here’s Crazzy Steve for a shared laugh and sneer.

It’s time for another AEW paid announcement, with Tony Schiavone telling us that this is a REAL television studio. Schiavone throws us to Tony Khan and Jerry Lynn, the former of whom hypes up Private Party vs. James Storm/Chris Sabin later tonight. We also run down the Dynamite card. Khan is proud of Matt Hardy for showing up and insists that he (Khan) is a nice guy. Hardy isn’t because he is the greediest guy in the sport and can carny Impact. Khan says he and Lynn will be at ringside tonight….and they’re backstage at Impact.

Here’s Rich Swann for a chat. On Saturday, he felt the pressure of leading Impact Wrestling into battle. That is the kind of pressure he thrives on but can you blame him for having trust issues when it comes to Moose? That’s the man who has been walking around claiming to be World Champion and the man who put his best friend on the shelf. Yes Swann’s attention has been on Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers lately, but Omega isn’t here tonight, so the schedule is wide open.

Moose can come out here right now, so here he comes. Swann looks ready to fight but Moose says don’t make mistakes when you’re too emotionally invested. Moose wants his title shot, so Swann calls him an idiot. Swann is trying to give him his title shot right now and takes the jacket off. That’s not happening because it’s on Moose’s time. Swann: “Then what the h*** are we supposed to do right now?” Swann punches him in the jaw and the fight is on, with Swann ripping off Moose’s suit. The Phoenix splash connects to send Moose scurrying.

Rohit Raju comes in to Scott D’Amore’s office and TJP follows. Raju freaks out and says TJP couldn’t challenge for the title. Scott says Manik won the title and just happens to be TJP. D’Amore: “OF COURSE HE IS! EVERYBODY KNEW THAT!” Ok that was funny. Anyway, Raju gets a match in two weeks. A happy Raju leaves because that’s all he wanted. Scott: “You think I should tell him it’s a non-title match?” Again, that was funny.

Fire and Flava have a celebration for their titles in the back with a referee as the guest. They offer him various packages to the celebration but when Havok and Nevaeh come in, the packages are suddenly sold out. The two of them get a special offer though: a package where they can watch from home.

Brian Myers vs. Fallah Bahh

Myers can’t knock Bahh down to start but Bahh can knock him down, setting up the big legdrop. As Striker asks the fans to name the legdrop for him, Bahh hits a crossbody for two. A belly to belly gets the same but Myers kicks him in the head and knocks him down. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Bahh fights up without much trouble. Bahh crushes a standing Myers in the corner and then crushes a seated Myers in the corner for two more. Hold on though as Myers claims a thumb to the eye, allowing him to get in a low blow. The running clothesline finishes Bahh at 4:12.

Rating: C-. This could have been a heck of a lot worse and they did their thing well enough. I’m still not sure what the appeal of Myers is supposed to be, but at least they’re pushing someone. Can we please get him a better finisher than a running clothesline though? He isn’t exactly JBL.

Ace Austin isn’t happy with how he was used at Hard To Kill because he didn’t have a match scheduled for the show. Then he tried to get into the X-Division Title match and wound up dealing with Matt Cardona, who seems to work here now. Cardona says he is always ready, but that means sitting in catering in his gear. Cue Josh Alexander to say he’s sick about hearing about Austin. Alexander is the one who is going to make sure Austin never reaches his potential. The shoving sets up the brawl with Madman Fulton getting in a cheap shot from behind. Cardona runs in for the save and we are probably having a tag match soon.

Stills from Barbed Wire Massacre from Hard To Kill.

Eddie Edwards is being checked by the doctor but here’s Brian Myers to have his eye checked. Myers says he’s more important than this backyarder so Eddie challenges him for next week.

Here’s what coming next week.

Private Party vs. James Storm/Chris Sabin

For the #1 contendership and Matt Hardy is here with Private Party. Joined in progress with Sabin avoiding an armdrag from Marq Quen but Quen makes it work the second time. A standoff sets up a handshake but Isaiah Kassidy comes in for an atomic drop to set up an enziguri. Kassidy stays in for a front facelock but Sabin slips out and flips over for the hot tag off to Storm. A Sling Blade cuts Kassidy off and Storm sends him to the apron.

The Silly String into a tornado DDT plants Storm, setting up a running enziguri in the corner. Cue Tony Khan and Jerry Lynn to sit down, with Khan holding a small notebook and smiling a lot. We take a break and come back with Quen stomping Storm down in the corner as Striker recaps everything we saw before the break. Kassidy comes in and it’s a double atomic drop into a wishbone into a double basement dropkick.

Storm flips his way out of a front facelock though and the hot tag brings in Sabin with a high crossbody. An enziguri into a tornado DDT drops Private Party and there’s a missile dropkick to Kassidy’s back for two. Quen saves Kassidy from a double suplex so Storm pulls Quen to the floor. The Backstabber hits Kassidy for two and Storm adds a neckbreaker. Quen is back with an enziguri to Storm but Sabin gives him a brainbuster.

Sabin and Kassidy slug it out until Quen kicks Kassidy over, allowing him to hit a jumping enziguri. A moonsault onto Sabin’s back gets two and Storm’s Skinning the Cat is broken up with a dropkick. Kassidy takes Storm down with a big flip dive but Jerry Lynn grabs Sabin’s foot on the ropes. The Gin and Juice (a middle rope hurricanrana into a cutter) finishes Sabin at 15:25.

Rating: B-. This is where things can help a lot for Private Party, as they can get out there with someone other than the AEW teams and hopefully develop more as a team. This is more where the crossover story should work out for both companies too as Private Party can get more out of this kind of a deal. Good match too, despite a few sloppy parts from Private Party.

Post match the Good Brothers come out for the big staredown. Sabin and Storm get back in and it’s a three way brawl to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. Good enough show here and slightly better than most of their usual post pay per view shows. I can go for having people like Private Party popping in here instead of having the AEW wrestlers dominating the shows. The show was kind of up and down, but the ending of the Wrestle House stuff is a breath of fresh air around here. I’m curious about where some of these things are going, but they are going to need to tighten the show up around here a little more.

Results

Eric Young b. Rhino – Heel hook

Kimber Lee/Susan b. Jordynne Grace/Jazz – Belt shot to Jazz

Brian Myers b. Fallah Bahh – Running clothesline

Private Party b. James Storm/Chris Sabin – Gin and Juice to Sabin

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Hard To Kill 2021
Date: January 16, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re back on pay per view with this one and that means it is time to step things up. This time around, the big story is AEW’s Kenny Omega coming in to team with the Good Brothers against Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin (as Alex Shelley is out due to some personal circumstances). The card isn’t looking great but Impact can do some good pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers

Alexander takes him down by the leg to start and then spins out of a wristlock to put Myers down again. They head outside with Myers being driven back first into the apron but Myers shoves him hard off the top. We take a break and come back with Myers grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. Myers trips him down to cut off the comeback and the chinlock goes on again. That’s broken up as well so Myers hits a Downward Spiral for two, sending us to another break.

Back again with a discus forearm putting Myers on the floor. Alexander can’t get a German suplex but he can get the ankle lock, followed by the German suplex for two. Myers catches him with an enziguri on top, setting up the superplex with Alexander tying the legs up into a small package for two more.

A quick Michinoku Driver gives Myers two so Alexander backslides him for the same (with Striker throwing in a Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair reference because he tries way too hard). The ankle lock goes on and Myers can’t roll out, so instead he pulls the headgear around to blind Alexander. That’s enough for the running clothesline to finish Alexander at 10:54.

Rating: C-. Are they kidding? Who in the world looks at Myers and Alexander (especially including their histories and thinks that Myers, as “The Most Professional Wrestler”, is the more interesting choice? I don’t get this one, but I’m hoping they have a better idea than just pushing him because he used to be in WWE. Baffling decision here, and it came after a just ok match.

The opening video looks at how people had to survive a lot over the year but they are hard to kill. This includes a good bit of AEW footage, plus Alex Shelley announcing that he will not be able to be here tonight. Moose is taking his place, which could be a bit better.

Decay vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

That would be Rosemary/Crazy Steve. The men start things off with Steve headlocking him down and then tripping the leg. Rosemary comes in to crank on the arm and then hands it back to Steve. Kaleb sends him outside but thinks twice about the dive, instead bringing Dashwood in to elbow Rosemary in the face. Some shots to the back have Rosemary in more trouble and we hit the chinlock, complete with Dashwood rubbing Rosemary’s head.

Kaleb takes too much time going up though and Dashwood gets kicked into him for the crotching. Rosemary kicks Dashwood away again and the hot tag brings in Steve to start cleaning house. A rollup out of the corner brings Dashwood in for the save so Steve glares her out to the floor. Kaleb takes over on Steve’s arm, setting up a Russian legsweep for no cover.

Instead Kaleb stops for a photo, meaning Steve can avoid the moonsault. That’s enough for Rosemary to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. Rosemary hits a spear but walks into Kaleb’s superkick. The green mist hits Dashwood and Kaleb backfists Steve down. More mist blinds Kaleb and Steve hits a tornado DDT for the pin at 8:55.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird choice for an opener as the match wasn’t really a big part of the build (I’m not even sure I remember it being mentioned on TV) and it was just ok anyway. Rosemary and Steve work well together and while it’s nice to see Kaleb take the fall, it’s another miss for Dashwood. Not terrible by any means, but not a great match with a weird placement.

We run down the card. Still makes little sense on a pay per view.

We recap (with the video starting before Striker was done talking) Eric Young and company attacking various people around here. That means it’s time for Tommy Dreamer to defend his latest wrestling home, meaning we have a six man Old School tag.

Violent By Design vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

Old School (extreme) rules. That would be the name for Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering, because every team needs a name now. Striker: “I don’t think there is anyone who has done what Tommy Dreamer has done over the last thirty years at such a high level.” I think we can write that off as the first stupid Striker line of the night and move on. The ring is mostly cleared to start and it’s Jake vs. Deaner n the big showdown.

They’re out on the floor in a hurry as we go to a triple screen (THANK YOU!) until everyone winds up on the same side at ringside. The wild brawling continues until Dreamer brings in the cookie sheet to knock Young down. Back inside and a cutter drops Young again so it’s time for Rhino, Dreamer and Deaner to chair Doering down. That isn’t enough to keep him down as Doering gets up and bites Dreamer’s head.

Deaner throws Jake off the top onto two open chairs….and exactly thirty seconds later, Jake is back up with a suicide dive onto Doering and Young. That leaves Dreamer to crotch Deaner on top and it’s something like a Tower of Doom, with Dreamer getting kicked in the face in the process. Rhino posts Doering on the floor and it’s time for the thumbtacks. Young is backdropped onto said tacks and there’s the Gore to drop Doering. Jake’s Black Hole Slam gets two on Deaner with Young making the save with the hockey mask. The piledriver finishes Deaner at 9:51.

Rating: D+. They brawled, they did the same violent spots they always do, they tried to make Dreamer some kind of legend and Young was treated as the big evil. This was almost everything I don’t like about Impact rolled into one match and I have a bad feeling that it is going to be continuing for a good while to come. Throw in Doering being the latest monster without much of a reason to care about him other than who he associates with, we could be in for a long run with these guys.

Rich Swann fires up Chris Sabin when Moose comes in. Swann doesn’t trust Moose because Willie Mack would be here if Moose hadn’t taken him out. Moose talks about playing football with people he didn’t like but he would die for them once a game began. Tonight, Omega and the Brothers are getting beaten down all night long.

Video on the Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament: Fire And Flava vs. Havok/Nevaeh

For the vacant titles and that would be Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan, because, again, every team needs a name these days. Steelz and Hogan jump them to start with little avail, meaning it’s Steelz and Nevaeh to officially get things going. Havok comes in so Steelz bails out to Hogan, who is promptly backbreakered. A sliding clothesline gives Nevaeh two and it’s back to Havok to wreck both of them.

Havok misses a legdrop so some kicks to the face put her down for two. More running kicks in the corner give Hogan two but Havok drives Steelz into the corner. Havok tosses both of them down at the same time, allowing the tag off to Nevaeh. Steelz DDTs Hogan by mistake (yep still stupid) but Nevaeh gets caught on top.

That’s fine with Havok, who powerbombs both of them out of the corner (after walking a bit to show off). Hogan is back up with a neckbreaker on Havok and a Stunner rocks her again. Havok gets taken to the floor, leaving Hogan to hit a fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh for the pin and the titles at 8:48.

Rating: C. They aren’t exactly in the mood to give the wrestlers time tonight. This was a fairly rushed match but it’s nice to have one of the established teams win rather than a makeshift pair becoming the champions. I’m not sure what kind of a future the titles have, but it was an acceptable enough start.

Madison Rayne and Gail Kim come out to present the new titles.

Decay comes up to Taya Valkyrie but she, politely says she has this tonight. The women leave and Acey Romero sneaks into the Knockouts locker room.

Here are the unscheduled Ace Austin and Madman Fulton for a chat. Austin does not like being relegated to the pre-show panel because he won the Super X Cup. That means he should be #1 contender to the X-Division Title. So come on Scott D’Amore. Get out here and make the match. Cue D’Amore who agrees Austin needs a match so here is his opponent.

Ace Austin vs. Matt Cardona

Striker: “This is a mark out moment and I’m marking out bro!” Cardona starts fast with a running faceplant to send Austin to the apron. That means Austin can do his gymnastics on the apron until Cardona trips him face first. As Striker talks about “popping the internet”, a swinging neckbreaker drops Austin onto the floor. Fulton’s distraction lets Austin get in a cheap shot but it’s a flapjack to put him down back inside. The running corner clothesline sets up the Reboot (Broski Boot) but Fulton comes in for the DQ at 2:33.

Post match Cardona clears the ring in a hurry.

We recap the X-Division Title match. TJP couldn’t get another title shot so he put on a mask as Manik and won the title. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey want to unmask him and prove everything so we’re having a triple threat title match.

X-Division Title: Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju vs. Manik

Manik is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Manik dropkicks Bey to the floor to start and runs the ropes with Raju. Bey is back in and that means a three way standoff. Raju gets knocked down again and Bey uses him as a launchpad to dropkick Manik to the floor this time. That doesn’t last long as Manik and Bey switch places, allowing Raju to counter a headscissors into a reverse sitout powerbomb for two on Manik.

Bey comes back in and Raju misses a charge to the floor, allowing Manik to tie up Bey’s legs. Raju rejoins them for a standing armbar on Manik at the same time as Brown and Striker over if that is TJP or not. The double holds are broken up and Manik sends Raju outside, leaving Bey to hit a springboard kick to the head to catch Manik in the ropes. Bey misses a dive and gets apron bombed down for the mistake. Back in and Raju gets Manik’s mask off to reveal…a painted face.

Manik goes up top for a frog splash but dives into a cutter from Bey. A double Art of Finesse lets Bey cover Manik for two and everyone is down for a second. Raju is up first and ties Bey in the Tree of Woe, meaning Manik can come in with a springboard hurricanrana. The Detonation Kick connects with Bey making the save so he and Manik fight over a Tombstone.

Manik finally plants him but walks into a jumping knee from Raju. A kick to the face gives Raju two on Manik and everyone is down again. Raju is sent to the floor, leaving Manik to hit a springboard DDT on Bey. The frog splash hits Bey and Raju slides back in for two in a callback to what set this up. Raju throws Manik off the top but gets kicked in the head by Bey.

They go up top with Bey getting tied in the Tree of Woe again. Raju pulls Manik into a Crossface (which Striker says is a variation on the Regal Stretch, because, again, Striker tries too hard) until Bey makes the save. Manik rolls to the floor so Raju unloads with shots to Bey’s head, only to have Manik roll Raju up to retain at 13:52.

Rating: B. Now this was good as they were doing all of their spots in a hurry while making the match feel like a frenzy. That’s the kind of match you would want for a pay per view X-Division Title match and the show needed it pretty badly. Manik continues to be one of the best in-ring stars on the roster, but the painted face under the mask is a pretty weak way to keep things going.

Post match, Manik taunts Raju with the win.

Eddie Edwards tells Alisha that she can’t be involved in the Barbed Wire Massacre. She can’t be at risk because Eddie doesn’t know what is happening to him. Alisha promises not to go out there.

We recap Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie. Purrazzo is the amazing champion, Valkyrie used to be the amazing champion, the title match is on.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie

Purrazzo is defending and has Kimber Lee and Susan with her, while Taya has Decay. Taya knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away against the ropes. Purrazzo is knocked outside where Lee gets in a cheap shot and Susan starts recording Steve. The referee gets knocked down so it’s a big group ejection to leave us one on one. Striker is confused about whether the bell rang or not, because he was probably too busy making some reference to Georgia Championship Wrestling in 1983.

Back in and Purrazzo starts on the arm, including a Russian legsweep and a roll through into a Tequila Sunrise. Now it’s off to a kneebar so Taya has to go to the rope again. A DDT on the knee gets two but Taya is back up with chops and a spear for two. Purrazzo dropkicks the knee out but Taya runs her over again without much effort.

There’s a Curb Stomp into something like an STF, which Striker….actually doesn’t screw up (even a bad announcer finds the right move once a match). Back up and Taya can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl slam as Purrazzo takes her down into the Fujiwara Armbar. That’s switches into Cosa Nostra to retain the title at 11:35.

Rating: B-. I can go for watching these two doing their thing for a good while and that is what we got here. Purrazzo being able to pull someone into whatever painful hold she has at the moment and Taya can make almost anything work. This was exactly what it was supposed to be and I had a good time with it throughout. Above all else, it felt like a match that belonged on pay per view, which hasn’t been the case with everything else on the card so far.

Acey Romero comes up to John E. Bravo, who insists that Larry D. shot him. He calls Acey crazy but Acey found some of Larry’s Ring Rust cologne in a Knockouts bag. Bravo is intrigued. Sweet goodness WHY IS THIS STILL GOING???

We recap the fall of Ethan Page, who has gone rather insane and is feuding with his own alter ego, the Karate Man. Now it’s time for Page to fight himself.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We go cinematic (duh) and they fight in front of a green screen, Mortal Kombat style. Page punches and Karate Man kicks as the background keeps changing. Then Karate Man pulls out Page’s heart to end it at we’ll say 2:30. So Page was REALLY unhappy about this online and if this is what they cobbled together after what seems like a lot of work went into it, I can completely get that. This was a waste of time from what could have been an entertaining idea and Page deserved a better way to go out than a segment which is getting as much time as the Wrestle House fallout.

Don Callis comes up to Moose in the back and reminds him that he has a two year contract. Callis suggests that if Moose hurts Kenny Omega, the contract may be ruined. Moose doesn’t want to hear it and says he’s coming for the Impact World Title. And maybe Omega’s too. Callis: “S***.”

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards in Barbed Wire Massacre. They have feuded on and off for years now and this is the FINAL match, with Callihan having Ken Shamrock in his back pocket. Eddie has no one, as he has ordered his wife to stay away for her own safety.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

There are various barbed wire instruments around the ring, including one side of a cage with barbed wire on top/wrapped around it and various barbed wire weapons hanging from a wire above the top rope. Eddie avoids being driven into a barbed wire board in the corner, which falls over as they lock up. Sami is sent into the barbed wire in the ropes so Eddie whips out a barbed wire ring to press down onto Sami’s head. The board is on the mat but Sami is smart enough to push it out to the floor before he goes face first.

Eddie’s suicide dive (with a bit of a spin) sends him back first through the barbed wire board and Sami drops the Cactus Jack elbow for a bonus. Sami messes with some more barbed wire on the floor and takes it back inside for the slugout. Eddie gets dropped ribs first onto the wire and Sami whips him with a…..Nintendo 64 controller wrapped in barbed wire? I think I can go with this. Sami goes up but Eddie comes out with a backpack Stunner for the breather.

The Blue Thunder Bomb onto a barbed wire chair gets two on Sami but Eddie’s missed charge hits the cage wall. They hit each other in the head with barbed wire for a double knockdown so it’s time for a barbed wire kendo stick vs. the barbed wire bat. It’s better because they have the other’s signature weapon and it’s Sami dropping him onto the barbed wire board. Another barbed wire board is thrown in and Sami (mostly) bridges it between two chairs.

A super piledriver through the barbed wire board only gets two and there wasn’t even any drama on the kickout. I know it’s just a spot these days but can you at least try to have some drama in there? Sami loads up the bat to the chair on the face but Eddie kicks him away and hits the Boston Knee Party into a chair. The Emerald Flosion onto the barbed wire finishes Sami at 18:53.

Rating: B-. This is one where your individual tastes are certainly going to vary and that isn’t a big surprise. There were some completely ridiculous moments here but it felt like two people who hated each other wanting to hurt each other. The piledriver kickout was pretty ridiculous and I’m not a big fan of this kind of match in the first place, but it could have been a lot worse than what we got.

Rebellion is on April 24.

We recap the main event. Impact executive Don Callis brought in AEW World Champion Kenny Omega as part of some big elaborate plan which isn’t quite as epic as they think it is. Impact World Champion Rich Swann didn’t like it so Kenny hooked up with the Good Brothers against Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns. Alex Shelley is out for the six man though and Moose, Swann’s #1 contender and the man who hurt his best friend, is taking his place.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin

Don Callis is here too and handles Omega’s entrance (which Striker says is a moment fans will be telling their children about). Omega has a Bullet Club shirt (the Halloween edition for some reason) on, because we need to know New Japan history to understand the AEW World Champion’s reference in Impact Wrestling. Anderson drives Sabin into the corner to start and a shot to the face has Sabin in some trouble. An armdrag gets him right back out though and we have a standoff.

Moose and Gallows get in for the big man showdown with Moose knocking him around. Omega comes in, with Striker making both a hockey reference and saying that the Bullet Club reunion on Dynamite reminded us why we all love wrestling. It’s off to Anderson vs. Swann in a hurry with the latter snapping off a headscissors. Gallows and Omega are knocked to the floor and it’s a double dropkick to Anderson.

Moose adds a standing moonsault, with Striker saying that Moose now is the sport, a few seconds after talking about how amazing it was that the two World Champions are in a match together. Sabin gets taken into the corner so the villains can take over, including Omega hitting a backbreaker for two. Striker asks Brown if Omega is the best in the world and Brown seems to think so. There is NO MENTION AT ALL of the Impact Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION, who is in this same match, in case you needed an illustration of why Impact’s benefit from this Omega deal is rather limited.

Anderson grabs a chinlock on Sabin but the comeback sets up a double clothesline, allowing the tag to Omega and Swann (thankfully with Striker bringing Swann’s name in for the best wrestler in the world discussion). Everything breaks down and some assisted DDTs send the Brothers outside. Swann dives onto Omega but the frog splash is blocked back inside. Anderson adds a slam (with Sabin flipping him off), allowing Striker to talk about wrestling being a universal language.

The Kitaro Crusher gets two and a triple splash gets two on Swann. Back up and Swann manages a Pele to Omega and the hot tag brings in Moose. House is cleaned and the Omega BANG is mocked, setting up a triple boot to Omega in the corner. The discus lariat gets two on Omega (Striker: “HISTORY MADE TONIGHT!”) and now it’s Sabin in trouble in the corner for a change. Omega hits a Doctor Bomb for two on Sabin, who is right back up with a missile dropkick to Anderson.

Omega is up with the V Trigger to Swann but Moose catches him on top with a super Spanish Fly. Everyone is down again until Omega gets over for the hot tag to Gallows. The Boot of Doom gets two on Sabin with Swann making the save. Swann and Omega get the double tag for the big slugout with Omega getting the better of it. The other four fight outside until Moose pulls Omega off the top and into an electric chair.

Something close to a Doomsday Device gets two on Omega, with Callis teasing the save. Striker: “Some people think Callis has betrayed Impact Wrestling.” I actually had to sigh at how stupid that was so we’ll move on to Omega hitting the V Trigger on Swann. Some kicks put Omega down and the 450 gets two. The Magic Killer plants Swann and Moose has to make the save. Another V Trigger hits Moose and another V Trigger hits Swann, setting up the One Winged Angel for the pin at 20:26.

Rating: B. The wrestling itself was good, as expected, but it’s rather difficult to care about Impact when their World Champion is being presented as someone lucky enough to have Kenny Omega knee him in the face. Commentary here was a big love letter to AEW, which is being treated as the greatest thing ever as it reaches down to the unwashed masses of Impact. That may be true from a business standpoint, but why in the world is IMPACT acting like that is the case? It’s a good match and I think you know where this is heading, but could we act like Swann is close to Omega’s level? For five minutes maybe?

Omega and pals celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off rather badly but then it picked up a lot of steam just before the halfway point. The big matches worked rather well and completely saved the show, which is often how a show like this tends to go. They had a nice show, but there were some things that hurt it a bit, aside from the completely lackluster first hour or so.

First and foremost, the Omega worship was out of hand to start and is just getting worse. The main event didn’t make me want to see Swann vs. Omega. It made me think that Omega is treating Swann like a practice dummy, which is completely fitting for Omega. What it ISN’T fitting for is the commentary team, who seem to be in awe of Omega and treat their World Champion like a guy who won a contest. I know Omega is a bigger deal, but can we at least act like he might have trouble against the company’s World Champion?

Then you have Striker himself and…..I can’t believe it but he has gotten more annoying. Between acting like everything you see is the greatest thing that has ever happened, trying to turn every move into some brilliant strategy that ties back into some other move and name dropping EVERY SINGLE WRESTLER HE CAN THINK OF, Striker is one of the most irritating things I have ever seen on a wrestling show. It’s great to have someone who knows history, but there is a world of difference between sounding smart and being a distraction, which he was all night long.

Overall, the show did work well, but I’m worried about where this company is going in the future. They didn’t make some of their biggest stars look good in the main event and Striker is going to be as annoying as I could have ever imagined. There are some good things happening here, but if AEW is going to be a bigger presence, I’m going to be having flashbacks to New Japan coming in to Ring of Honor and leaving it as a near wasteland. They had a good show for the most part, but the future isn’t looking so bright.

Results

Decay b. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K – Tornado DDT to Kaleb With A K

Violent By Design b. Tommy Dreamer/Cousin Jake/Rhino – Piledriver to Deaner

Fire And Flava b. Havok/Nevaeh – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh

Matt Cardona b. Ace Austin via DQ when Madman Fulton interfered

Manik b. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey – Rollup to Raju

Deonna Purrazzo b. Taya Valkyrie – Cosa Nostra

Karate Man b. Ethan Page – Fatality

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Emerald Flosion onto a barbed wire board

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers b. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose – One Winged Angel to Swann

 

 

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We’re back with another Impact pay per view, even though the point seems to be to make another company’s World Champion look good. This time around the focal point is the invading Kenny Omega, will will team with the Good Brothers against Impact World Champion Rich Swann, Chris Sabin and Moose, after Alex Shelley was forced out of the show for unclear reasons. The rest of the card looks ok so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Brian Myers vs. Josh Alexander

This was thrown in this week on Impact since every pay per view needs a pre-show match these days. Myers beat Alexander via DQ and bragged about it so we’re having this for the sake of shutting him up. I’m not sure what Impact sees in Myers but there are far worse places he could be than in the pre-show match. Alexander is going to need a boost soon so we could have something going here.

I’m going to take Alexander here as there is no reason for this to drag on for another match. As much as he has been featured, Myers isn’t being pushed to the moon so they aren’t likely to give him anything here. The match will likely be on about the same level as a regular TV match and that’s all it needs to be given where they are here. It probably didn’t need to be here, but Alexander can get your attention well enough.

Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

It isn’t a good sign when my first reaction to a match is “at least they’re keeping it all here” but that’s about as good as I can go with this. We have Dreamer being Dreamer, the epic Deaners split, Doering (he was big in Japan, right up there with Jesse and the Rippers) and Young as some kind of mastermind because this company loves him very much. It’s also Old School rules, because they can’t say Extreme and Dreamer can’t do much else.

I’ll go with Young and company as for some reason this seems to be one of the upcoming big things. Young is tolerable enough in some spots, though the love affair with Doering isn’t exactly doing much for me. Adding in the turned Deaner isn’t going to make things better, but if they can keep all of this stuff crammed into one match, it could be a lot worse than what we’re getting.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

This feud MUST continue and this time it’s Barbed Wire Massacre because when you think Edwards, you need something like this thrown in. I know this is viewed as some legendary rivalry but it feels like they are just warming it up because neither has anything to do. Edwards is able to carry almost anything to at least watchable, but as soon as I heard the barbed wire deal, I could hear Josh Matthews with his machine gun delivery taking away any impact it might have.

Give me Callihan to win, likely thanks to Ken Shamrock because we need another evil alliance to triumph. Shamrock and Callihan are somewhat intriguing, but I don’t need a Barbed Wire Massacre to make it work. The match should be good enough and odds are Alisha will get involved, but I’ve been over this feud for a good while now because it ran out of steam years ago.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We continue with the “why is this a thing” section, but in this case Page has so much charisma that he can manage to face himself and make it work. I’m going to assume this is a cinematic match and Page’s way out of the promotion, but you never know with something like this. The Karate Man stuff alone is always worth a look, but I’m almost scared of what to see here.

Since they’re facing each other, I’ll go with Karate Man to win and get rid of Page once and for all, which should make your head spin at least a little bit. There is a chance that we could be in for some good jokes here and under the right circumstances, this could be one of the best things on the entire show. Page is awesome at his goofy stuff, and hopefully he gets to showcase himself well on the way out.

X-Division Title: Manik(c) vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju

This is part of one of those stories that works out well almost every time because it’s a classic. Bey and Raju are convinced that Manik is TJP (because Manik is TJP) but can’t beat him or prove it, meaning their frustration factor has increased about 17 fold. Now it’s a free for all for the title, which opens up a few interesting doors as they could go in a few different directions.

I think they’ll play it safe here and have Manik retain the title because there are more places to go with something like this. Manik is someone who can have a good match with anyone and Bey is one of the better young stars around here. Raju has been rather nice as well lately, so we could be in for something good. This might be the match with the most promise on the whole show and I can’t say I’m surprised.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Nevaeh/Havok vs. Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz

Who would have thought that a tournament for the vacant titles would come down to two of the only regular teams who happened to be feuding for weeks before the tournament started? Hogan and Steelz have done a nice job of being the most annoying heels imaginable, which made Havok and Nevaeh grabbing them by their throats that much better. This was almost a guarantee for the final, so at least they’re doing the logical thing.

I’ll take Havok and Nevaeh to win here as you need some faces to win on this show. It isn’t the most intriguing match on the show but it was the only way to go to get to the tournament finals. I’m not sure how far these titles can go as WWE hasn’t been able to make theirs work for years now. The match will be the same thing that we’ve seen several times between them now but….yay belts?

Rosemary/Crazzy Steve vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

This seems to have been added near the last minute and I’m still trying to make myself care about Dashwood. The Instagram deal is fine, but it feels like something you would see at a tiny independent promotion because it’s that easy of a story. There is no doubt that the talent is there, but for some reason it isn’t clicking. You can only get so far with something like this though and I think we’ve reached her current limit.

I don’t see a reason for Kaleb With A K and Dashwood to win here, even though they need it a lot more. Rosemary seems to be building up something with Susan, so unless she interferes and costs them the match, I don’t see a reason to have Rosemary and Steve lose here. The match itself should be another TV level match, which is quite the trend for most of this show.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo(c) vs. Taya Valkyrie

The Knockouts singles division has done well enough for itself in recent months and Purrazzo is awesome as the technical wizard champion. Valkyrie is almost the old guard in a way, despite her title reign not even feeling all that long ago. While her big reign is over, Valkyrie can go in the ring with anyone and Purrazzo is one of the best things going in the company today.

Purrazzo being one of the best things going today is more than enough to keep the title on her here. Beating Valkyrie is more along the lines of beating a challenger of the month, but she just happens to be a really successful challenger of the month. It means something to beat her though and Purrazzo can continue her reign with another rather nice win added to her list.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose

This whole invasion (if that’s what you call Omega and Omega alone showing up from AEW) is making me think of Lando Calrissian saying “this deal is getting worse all the time”. So far, the highlight of the feud for Impact is their World Champion escaping with a pin over their Tag Team Champion. Omega and Don Callis have been treated as stars who are gracing Impact with their presence. I know it gives Impact exposure, but this is feeling more like New Japan coming to Ring of Honor every day (and that’s not a good thing).

Of course Omega and the Good Brothers win here, because why would they lose here? I know this is probably heading towards Omega taking the Impact World Title, as that is the best way to continue making Impact look like they don’t compare to AEW in any way. Yes AEW is more important and Omega is a bigger star, but sweet goodness could Impact look much worse so far?

Overall Thoughts

This show looks pretty dreadful on paper as there is nothing of note to look forward to. I’m sure some of the matches will work as Impact tends to shine when they just go to the ring and focus on the wrestling, but nothing on here really jumps out. Hopefully the show winds up working, because this feels like they have almost no reason to do this show other than they have to. It will likely be good enough, but they need to work on spicing things up.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

It’s the go home show for Hard To Kill and that means we are going to be seeing the AEW people showing up again. There are a few other things to cover on the way there, but unfortunately that means we are likely to have more of the continuing adventures of Eric Young and Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap, including a look at the end of last week’s AEW Dynamite.

Opening sequence.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Kimber Lee

Rosemary and Deonna Purrazzo are here too. Lee wastes no time in sending her into the corner and chopping away but Taya is back with a double leg takedown. Some chops in the corner have Lee out the floor but she is able to block the suicide dive. Back in and the full nelson with the legs has Taya in more trouble, followed by the chinlock. Lee cuts off a comeback attempt but a Swanton hits raised knees.

Taya makes the clothesline comeback and gets two off a shoulder block. A curb stomp doesn’t have much effect on Lee but the running knees in the corner work a bit better. Deonna puts Lee’s hand on the ropes for the break so Rosemary grabs her by the hair. Cue Susan to beat up Rosemary, with the distraction letting Lee roll Taya up for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C. Lee is fine as a lackey for Purrazzo though I’m not sure where Susan is going to tie into the whole thing. That has been one of the wackiest things going in Impact for a long time now and as much as I hate to admit it, the thing is growing on me a bit. This worked out fine, though they are telegraphing the ending to the title match pretty hard.

We go to Kenny Omega’s bus where Don Callis tells the team that they need a win tonight. It is time for Karl Anderson to beat Rich Swann and everyone is cool.

Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone have a new paid announcement, with Khan praising Impact for all of its good things in 2020. They had these ads, Kenny Omega and getting to hear about AEW! We run down tomorrow’s Dynamite card but Khan isn’t sure that the Good Brothers are actual brothers.

Sami Callihan wants one more match against Eddie Edwards: Barbed Wire Massacre. Do we really have to do this again?

Hard To Kill rundown.

Chris Bey/Rohit Raju vs. Manik/Suicide

It’s a brawl to start with Suicide being sent to the floor. Manik doesn’t have time for the double teaming as Suicide comes back in with stereo backdrops putting Bey and Raju on the floor. Manik and Suicide both head underneath the ring, come back out from the same side, and hit stereo dropkicks to put the villains on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Manik and Suicide hanging in the ropes but getting knocked outside for their efforts. Things settle down to Suicide in trouble in the corner with Raju elbowing him in the mask for two. A belly to back suplex gives Bey two but Suicide reverses into a crucifix for the same.

Suicide manages to suplex him into the corner and rolls over for the hot tag to Manik (dang I miss crowd pops) to clean house. Suicide gets the Octopus on Bey while Manik stretches Raju’s abdominals. Both holds are broken up in a hurry so Raju goes for Manik’s mask. That doesn’t work out so Bey hits the Art of Finesse for the pin on Suicide at 12:42.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match here and it sets up Bey and Raju as the challengers for Manik’s title on Saturday. The story they’re doing may be a bit dated but it is the kind of thing that is always going to work, especially with the amount of talent from the people involved. They had a nice TV match here and Bey gets a boost on the way to the title match.

Taya Valkyrie yells at Rosemary over Susan, with Rosemary saying they (as in Rosemary and….whatever is in her head) will have this on Saturday. Valkyrie needs to get ready for her title match.

Cody Deaner vs. Tommy Dreamer

Eric Young, Joe Doering, Rhino and Cousin Jake are all here too. Deaner goes for the head to start and unloads in the corner until Dreamer avoids a charge. A slam drops Deaner but Doering…..I think misses a trip but Dreamer goes down anyway. Something misses again, as Dreamer just lays there on his side watching as Deaner gets up and is (very eventually) tripped by Rhino.

It earns the double ejection for Rhino/Doering but someone was REALLY off on the timing there as Dreamer was left sitting for about ten seconds waiting on something to happen. Anyway Deaner unloads in the corner and we hit the quickly broken neck crank. The Bionic Elbow is broken up and so is the Deaner DDT, but Dreamer gets knocked down anyway. Dreamer gets the boot up but Deaner slaps Jack, who jumps him for the DQ at 3:36.

Rating: D-. Between that awkward spot, the idea of putting Young and Dreamer not only in the same segment here but also in a pay per view match and the weird timing deal, this was one of the least interesting segments I’ve seen in a very long time. I know he works backstage, but if they have no one better than Dreamer for this much TV time, they’re in more trouble than I thought.

Video on the Knockouts Tag Team Title tournament.

Scott D’Amore officiates the contract signing between Havok/Neveah and Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan. Steelz and Hogan talk trash so Havok and Nevaeh grab them by their throats to shut them up. Well done.

Brian Myers asks Scott D’Amore about his next big match and lists off the people he has defeated. Josh Alexander comes up to say Myers won by DQ so D’Amore makes a No DQ match.

Tenille Dashwood vs. Rosemary

Kaleb With A K handles Dashwood’s entrance. Dashwood offers a handshake, which Josh transitions into a plug for Micro Brawlers. Rosemary doesn’t like the attempted cheap shot and knocks Dashwood down in a hurry. Kaleb offers a distraction and gets grabbed by the head, allowing him to use hairspray on Rosemary’s eyes. Tenille hammers away and hits the running crossbody in the corner for two.

Back up and they collide for the double knockdown, followed by Rosemary’s Sling Blade. The Upside Down has Dashwood in even more trouble but she’s right back with a butterfly suplex of all things for two. Rosemary gets in another shot so Kaleb offers a distraction. Cue Crazzy Steve to chase him off and take him down, leaving Rosemary to hit a spear for the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C-. Is anyone else just bored with Dashwood? She continues to have all of the tools in the world but for some reason nothing ever seems to click with her. This was no exception as she did all of her usual stuff but nothing ever actually came of it. Rosemary has a lot more going for her when it comes to character development, which might improve for Dashwood if she had more than being big on Instagram.

Rich Swann is ready for Karl Anderson because tonight it is one on one with everyone else banned from ringside. Then Karl can go back to the bus and say they’re going to get beaten up on Saturday.

Video on Ethan Page going a bit scooters and winding up setting up a match against Karate Man (himself) at Hard To Kill.

Moose vs. Matthew Palmer

Non-title and no time limit this time. Palmer hits four straight running dropkicks in the corner to start but Moose shrugs them off and drops him with a forearm. A big forearm to the back keeps Palmer down and Josh will not shut up about how Palmer has no chance, the Legend of Zelda, Sami Callihan, Hard To Kill and EVERYTHING else that comes to his mind. Palmer gets in a shot to the ribs and a middle rope knee to the face. A chokeslam plants Palmer and Moose elbows him out at 3:28.

Rating: D. Well that happened and makes last week’s match pretty much worthless. Moose doesn’t actually have a match at Hard To Kill but he did become #1 contender at Genesis, which was barely talked about here. I’m assuming this is it for the quick Palmer run, which was only going to be able to go on for so long.

Video on Kenny Omega being awesome. The other five people in the six man are ok too.

Karl Anderson vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending and no one is at ringside. We’re joined in progress with Swann armdragging him into an armbar as the other four are seen watching from backstage. Anderson fights up and chokes in the corner, setting up his own armbar. The shoulder goes into the post and we take a break.

Back with Swann’s arm being draped over the top rope again, setting up another armbar. Swann fights up with a clothesline and some snap jabs, followed by a running kick to the back of the head. A missed charge lets Anderson hit a big boot for two but Swann rolls him up for the fast pin at 14:03.

Rating: C. That’s probably going to be Impact’s big win over AEW: the World Champion escaping with a rollup pin after getting beaten up for a good chunk of the match. I did like that the match ended so quickly as Swann steals the pin, though this feud does not exactly make you feel great about Impact’s history. Anderson isn’t going to lose anything by taking a fall though so this was fine enough.

We cut to the bus and see an empty sofa. That means Omega and Gallows can jump the Machine Guns in the back, with Swann and Anderson joining in. The big brawl is on to end the show.

Well almost as we get a quick preview for the pay per view to really end things.

Overall Rating: C+. You can look at this one from a few ways. The point of this show was to set up Hard To Kill and it did that rather well, meaning it did its main job. At the same time though, the wrestling wasn’t anything great for a good chunk of the show and some of the stories are just awful. Impact has a big gap between the top and bottom of the card and this showcased it even more than usual. That being said, the Hard To Kill preview worked well and that’s the point of the show.

Results

Kimber Lee b. Taya Valkyrie – Rollup

Chris Bey/Rohit Raju b. Manik/Suicide – Art of Finesse to Suicide

Cody Deaner b. Tommy Dreamer via DQ when Cousin Jake interfered

Rosemary b. Tenille Dashwood – Spear

Moose b. Matthew Palmer via referee stoppage

Rich Swann b. Karl Anderson – Rollup

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

It’s time to get back to the regular shows but we are also on the way to both Genesis and Hard To Kill. That means we could be seeing some good stuff around here, though the idea of building towards two shows at once is rarely something that works out all that well. Maybe they can fix that tonight though as Kenny Omega is here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kenny Omega and Don Callis joining forces with the Good Brothers against the Motor City Machine Guns and Rich Swann.

Opening sequence.

Ace Austin vs. Blake Christian vs. KC Navarro vs. Crazzy Steve

Madman Fulton is here with Austin and this is a preview of the Super X Cup at Genesis. Austin chills on the floor to start so the other two rub Steve’s chest. That’s a little too much for Austin, who pulls Steve to the floor so Christian and Navarro start going rather fast. Christian kicks Austin in the face but Austin sends him into the corner. Steve ties Navarro in the upside down Figure Four necklock over the ropes but Navarro is right back with a headscissors.

Navarro takes Austin out, only to have Christian shove him off the top to the floor. Christian’s big flip dive to the floor takes Navarro down but Austin cuts Christian off. That lets Navarro get back inside to dive onto Christian for a change, so Austin flips onto both of them at once. Back in and Navarro hits a running neckbreaker for two on Austin and Christian adds a standing Spanish Fly. Christian’s springboard frog splash gets two on Austin with Steve making the save. Steve Death Valley Drives Navarro into the other two in the corner and a middle rope DDT is enough to give Steve the pin on Navarro at 7:06.

Rating: C+. This was your old school X-Division spot fest, meaning there was almost no way to have anyone stand out and someone won in the end. That being said, it’s also a rather entertaining match because it is non-stop action from bell to bell. They kept things moving and didn’t stay out there too long, which is what matters most in something like this. It’s junk food, but it’s good junk food.

Kenny Omega’s bus is here so make sure you watch the whole show to see what he does!

Here’s what’s coming up tonight.

Sami Callihan hacks the feed and talks about how he is ready for Eddie Edwards. Eddie is trying to say that the good guys win in the end but tonight, Sami is proving the bad guys win. Thumbs up, thumbs down.

We get another paid advertisement from Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone. They’re here to help those less fortunate, meaning Impact Wrestling. We hear the Dynamite card and Khan goes into a rant against Don Callis, saying that he does everything for AEW except wrestling. Callis is a parasite but Khan is a patron of wrestling. He’ll be back to buy another ad next week because his grandmother gave him $100 in a Christmas card and he wants to spend it on something fun (Schiavone isn’t even trying to hide his laughter at that one).

The Good Brothers and Don Callis think Kenny Omega’s is so big. His belt that is. They’re ready for Hard To Kill because they’re friends with chemistry, which is more than the Guns and Swann have ever had.

Here are Cousin Jake and Rhino, with Jake wanting Cody Deaner back because they’re family.

Cousin Jake/Rhino vs. Cody Deaner/Joe Doering

Before the match, Eric Young says Deaner answers to him these days because Deaner has seen the truth. Cody hammers on Jake to start and seems far more intense than he has ever been before. Doering comes in as we hear about how awesome is he again, mainly because he was in Japan. We take a break and come back with Jake still in trouble in the corner. Jake manages to backflip out of a belly to back though and brings in Rhino to hammer away. The offense lasts about ten seconds before it’s already back to Jake though and Cody hits him low. The Deaner DDT finishes Jake at 7:31.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much drama to this as you have a new heel able so they aren’t going to lose on their first match together. Doering is still his usual self but I can go with something that gets rid of one of the redneck Deaners. It’s not like the team was anything of value in the first place so this is an improvement. Not much of one, but an improvement.

Post match Jake and Rhino get beaten down even more….until Tommy Dreamer comes out with the kendo sticks for the same. Dreamer issues the challenge for the Old School rules match at Hard To Kill. Eric Young and Tommy Dreamer in the same angle and match. Happy freaking new year.

Matthew Palmer didn’t drive this far to become a security guard so he is here to face Moose. If he lasts three minutes, people will know who Matthew Palmer is.

Acey Romero comes in to see Johnny Swinger, who has his own office. Romero says Crazzy Steve sent him to see Swinger about John E. Bravo being framed. Swinger says go ask the Knockouts.

Here are Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee for a chat. Deonna doesn’t understand why Taya Valkyrie has a problem with them. Taya is blaming them for all of her problems, but what happens when Purrazzo takes her out? Cue Taya and Rosemary, who says she is the longest reigning Knockouts Champion ever, and she hasn’t lost any focus on that title. Deonna says Taya has already lost everything she has and her husband isn’t even here anymore. When will Rosemary turn on her too? The only thing she has left is the record but Taya knows Purrazzo is scared of what is coming at Hard To Kill. Just a quick push towards the match.

Rohit Raju tells Chris Bey that his New Year’s resolution is to forgive, so he forgives Bey for costing him the X-Division Title. Bey isn’t impressed but Raju thinks they need to get together and take Manik out.

Post break Raju and Bey go find TJP, who hasn’t seen Manik. They want a tag match against Manik and TJP but he isn’t interested.

Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K comes up to Rosemary and understands what it’s like to split with a partner like Rosemary is going to split with Taya soon. Rosemary isn’t interested.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Jazz/Jordynne Grace vs. Havok/Nevaeh

Nevaeh and Grace start things off with Grace working on a headlock to take Nevaeh down. That’s broken up so Havok comes in for the hoss fight, with Grace being knocked into the corner. Jazz comes in to slap Havok and stomp away in the corner. Havok sends her into the corner and hands it off to Nevaeh for the running splash.

That’s broken up in a hurry so Grace comes back in for a double back elbow to the face. Jazz is in just as fast and leaves Grace hanging on a tag (how rude) but suplexes Nevaeh down. The neck crank doesn’t last long as Nevaeh makes the comeback in a hurry. A double tag brings in Havok to powerbomb Grace for two as everything breaks down. The Tombstone finishes Jazz at 9:49 to send Havok and Nevaeh to Hard to Kill.

Rating: C-. This tournament has been ok at best and it isn’t exactly thrilling when the finals wind up being two of the only regular teams in the whole thing. Granted I’d rather have that than two random teams who have no history fighting for some historic titles. Grace continues to look like a star, but this was the right choice.

Rich Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns aren’t impressed by Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers. This company was founded on people like the three of them (Swann was 11 years old when the company was founded) and they aren’t letting this happen. Swann talks about how the letters on this title doesn’t say AEW because it says Impact Wrestling World Champion. They’re going to show the three of them that pain is temporary but pride is forever. Shelley is ready to go fight right now so they head to the parking lot.

After walking around security (It took them a month to figure that out?), the trio gets jumped from behind by Omega and the Good Brothers, with Callis shouting a lot. Omega says they were easy to kill and gets in a few more stomps before heading back onto the bus. In other words, Omega and company again look like the smart ones while the good guys are presented as complete morons.

Jazz asks Grace what happened but Grace says it was her fault. Everything is ok and Grace praises Jazz for being awesome. They should face each other at Genesis and the match is on. Grace wasn’t exactly great on the talking here.

Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee ask James Mitchell if he has taken care of Su Yung. Cue…..Susan, who wears glasses and a business suit. Our villains aren’t sure what to do.

Moose vs. Matthew Palmer

Non-title with a three minute time limit. Palmer slugs away to start but gets planted with a standing Rock Bottom (as Josh puts it). The slow beating continues as we’re already down to a minute and a half left. Palmer is tossed around but gets in a jumping knee to the face. Moose kicks him in the face and loads up the spear but here’s Willie Mack for a distraction, allowing the clock to run out at 3:00.

Rating: D. You can only get so much out of something like this and they did a fine enough job of advancing Mack vs. Moose by having Moose humiliated. Palmer was any warm body here and that’s all he needed to be. I’m still not sure what the endgame is with Moose as TNA World Champion and the longer it goes, the more I don’t think Impact knows either.

Ethan Page is on a psychiatrist’s couch but the doctor keeps speaking in what sound like motivational poster cliches. Page thinks everyone around here is out to get him and yells at the doctor for not listening. It’s Karate Man, who calls Page a b****. They argue a bit and the match is made for Hard To Kill.

Here’s what’s coming at Genesis, Hard To Kill and next week.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

They start fighting during the entrances with Sami getting in a few chair shots. Eddie is back with some headbutts but chops the post by mistake. Sami steps over him for a low blow and we take a break before the bell. Back with Eddie getting in his own chair shot as the bell still hasn’t rung. Sami grabs the timekeeper’s hammer and knocks the chair into Eddie’s head.

The chair is thrown at Eddie’s head but Eddie headbutts his way out of a suplex through said chair. Eddie charges into a t-bone suplex through the chair though and they finally head inside for the bell. The slugout is on but Eddie shoves the referee down, allowing Sami to get in some more shots. They rake each others’ eyes and the referee is knocked down again, drawing the double DQ at 1:13.

Post match Eddie grabs Sami’s bat and stalks him but Sami pulls out the hacking phone to show Alisha Edwards trapped in a cage. Eddie goes after her but it’s Ken Shamrock jumping him from behind. Sami comes in and they wrap Eddie in barbed wire for a baseball bat shot to the face. Alisha is blamed as the villains leave to end the show. I really could go with this feud being done for good already as it isn’t quite as epic as Impact thinks it is.

Overall Rating: C-. The AEW addition to the show is rapidly dwindling in value as this show is becoming AEW’s playground. It’s starting to feel like when New Japan would come to Ring of Honor and that’s not a good idea. The rest of the show was the usual hit or miss effort, as there isn’t a big story or feud to point to at the moment. The show is just kind of coming and going most weeks as AEW is treated like this divine intervention that only serves the other company. Not a terrible show, but the sooner Omega and pals are gone, the better it is likely to be.

Results

Crazzy Steve b. KC Navarro, Ace Austin and Blake Christian – Middle rope DDT to Navarro

Cody Deaner/Joe Doering b. Cousin Jake/Rhino – Deaner DDT to Jake

Havok/Nevaeh b. Jazz/Jordynne Grace – Tombstone to Jazz

Matthew Palmer b. Moose – Time expired

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan went to a double DQ when the referee was knocked down

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 29, 2020
Hosts: Scott D’Amore, Josh Matthews

It’s the second half of the Best Of 2020 and that means we get to find out the Match Of The Year. That could go to a few different things but there is one main option that should get the honor. I’m not sure what else to expect from this one, as last week was the best of everything else. Let’s get to it.

As usual, I’ll be posting the full version of any matches shown on the broadcast.

In Memory of Jon “Brodie Lee” Huber. As it should be.

Opening sequence.

The announcers hype up Hard To Kill to get things going.

We start fast with the Moment of the Year: Slammiversary. The whole thing.

Willie Mack’s New Year’s Resolution: just keep going.

From Impact, April 21:

X-Division Title: Willie Mack vs. Ace Austin

Mack is challenging and Austin takes his time adjusting his gear to start. The stall continues with Austin bailing to the floor a few times, followed by a right hand to send him outside again. We get started properly with Austin grabbing a rollup and bailing again, only to have Mack follow him this time. Austin gets sent into the barricade but avoids the reverse Cannonball back inside.

That means Mack gets tied up in the Tree of Woe for some stomping to the ribs but Mack reverses a high crossbody into a Samoan drop. The standing moonsault connects and Mack pounds away even more as the aggression is starting to come out. Austin knees him in the face for two as things slow down a bit. Trouble in Paradise sends Mack into the corner but a springboard hurricanrana is countered with a sitout powerbomb.

One heck of a forearm puts Austin down as Josh and Madison bicker again, as only a married couple can. Now the reverse Cannonball connects but the Stunner is countered. The Fold gives Austin two and it’s his turn to be ticked off. Another Fold is countered into a pop up cutter for another near fall and Josh can’t believe it.

Mack goes up for the Six Star but Austin goes to the corner….so it’s a Coast to Coast to show off even more. Now the Six Star misses so Ace goes up and crotches Mack for trying to pull him down. Mack hits something like a Stunner on the top (that didn’t really work) to send Austin flying, setting up the Six Star for the pin and the title at 13:30.

Rating: B-. I like both of these guys so this was a fun one. They needed to switch the title as Mack has been built up for so long now that he had to win something eventually. Austin is going to be fine and it wouldn’t shock me to see him move towards the World Title scene. He was a great X Division Champion and it should be a bright future for him.

Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan want the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Deonna Purrazzo accepts Taya Valkyrie’s challenge for a Knockouts Title shot at Hard To Kill. She will reveal her new masterpiece and seal Taya’s fate.

Rich Swann, with a guitar, wants to bring Impact to the highest level.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Video on the year that was for Rich Swann, mainly focusing on his injury at Slammiversary and rise to the World Title.

Jordynne Grace is going to stop replying to people on Twitter so often.

From Impact, July 21.

Tag Team Titles: The North vs. Motor City Machine Guns

The Guns are challenging. Page and Shelley start thinks off with Shelley cranking on the arm. That’s reversed into a headlock and it’s an early standoff. Sabin comes in but his shoulders bounce off of Alexander. An Octopus hold doesn’t work much better so Sabin goes with the armdrags to take over. It’s already back to Page to pound Shelley but everything breaks down and the champs are sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Shelley striking away at Page in the corner but an Alexander distraction lets Page get in a shot to the face. Alexander holds Shelley so Page can stomp away as the champs take over. Shelley’s elbow to the head just earn him a half nelson backbreaker with Sabin coming in for a save. The handoff suplex puts Shelley down again but Alexander misses a moonsault. There’s the hot tag to Sabin and the pace picks up in a hurry.

The champs are sent into each other and Sabin’s tornado DDT gets two on Page. Sabin dives onto Alexander on the floor and Shelley’s standing Sliced Bread gets another two. Shelley’s spinning Downward Spiral sets up a Gargano Escape on Page, with Sabin grabbing a Texas Cloverleaf on Alexander at the same time.

They’re both broken up at the same time and it’s Sabin slugging it out with Alexander. Everything breaks down again and it’s a cutter into a wheelbarrow suplex to plant Sabin for two more. Shelley is sent outside and Sabin gets kicked in the head, but the Northern Assault is countered into a small package to give the Guns the titles back at 14:14.

Rating: B. This really was the kind of a main event that would have been better off with a crowd there to spice it up. They had a good match, though it didn’t quite hit the level that they were shooting for. The North losing after such a long reign is fine, but having the title match so soon after the Guns’ return didn’t exactly let the title change get the build that it needed.

We look at everyone being amazed that Kenny Omega is here.

Johnny Swinger wishes Bill Watts in Tulsa a Happy New Year.

Acey Romero comes up to Crazzy Steve, who might have heard or smelled something at the wedding because he can’t see. He heard something, but it was on the groom’s side. Go ask Johnny Swinger.

We look back at Wrestle House.

We look at Manik winning the X-Division Title at Final Resolution.

Brian Myers doesn’t make New Year’s Resolution. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he’s right.

We look at Ken Shamrock being inducted into the Impact Wrestling Hall of Fame, featuring a speech from the Rock, as well as Shamrock’s speech.

Here’s your Match of the Year.

From Slammiversary.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Ace Austin vs. Trey vs. ???

The title is vacant coming in, there are elimination rules, Madman Fulton is here with Ace and the mystery challenger is…..Rich Swann. That’s quite the surprise. Hold on though as we have another person here as a fifth entrant.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Ace Austin vs. Trey vs. Rich Swann vs. Eric Young

Young says he won the World Title at Slammiversary (no he didn’t) so he’s going to do it again here. It’s a brawl to start with Swann flipping over Young and hitting a dropkick. Young is knocked outside so Swann and Trey trade flips, leaving Eddie to take them both down. Fulton chokeslams Eddie onto the apron to put him down….and that’s an ejection. Fulton won’t leave so it’s a threat of Ace being eliminated, which is enough to make him go.

Trey spears Ace down and hammers away before sending Ace inside for a super hurricanrana from Swann. Eddie chops at Young and Swann in the corner but Ace slips out of a backpack Stunner out of the corner. Ace kicks people in the head but gets knocked down. It’s Eddie with a Blue Thunder Bomb to Swann, followed by Young knocking Eddie down as well. Trey kicks Young (now bleeding) down and calls out Austin.

The fight is on with Trey slugging away and kicking Young down as well. Swann is sent outside, leaving Eddie to chop Trey, whose dive at Swann is countered with a planting on the floor. Back in and Austin gutwrench suplexes Young but loses a slugout to Eddie. There’s a tiger driver to Austin but Trey comes off the top with a Meteora to Edwards because only Trey gets to eliminate Austin. Young is back up with a quick piledriver to get rid of Trey at 9:36 but can’t pin anyone else.

A lot of shouting makes me remember why Young gets on my nerves in a hurry and his wheelbarrow neckb….well more like a belly to back suplex gets two on Swann. Young takes Swann up but Swann reverses into a super bulldog to put them both down, with Swann breathing very, very loudly. Everyone winds up on the corner and it’s Eddie and Austin falling off the top and through the timekeeper’s table in a huge crash. That leaves Young to call Swann the letdown of the two surprises, allowing Swann to get a rollup to eliminate Young at 15:36, thank goodness.

Young isn’t done and goes after Swann’s bad knee with a chop block and several Pillmanizing stomps, plus a bunch of chair shots. Swann continues and rolls Austin up a few times before slugging away on one leg. Austin kicks the leg out though and hits the Fold to get rid of Swann at 18:55.

So we’re down to Austin vs. Edwards with Eddie pulling himself back in for a slugout. Eddie gets the better of things and even counters the Fold attempt with an overhead belly to belly. Ace misses a kick in the corner and the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie two. Austin hits the Fold for the same but Eddie hits another Boston Knee Party. The Diehard Flosion (Eddie’s old move) gives Edwards the pin and the title at 24:16.

Rating: C+. It was a good, long match (as it should have been), though seeing Young back is hardly the most thrilling thing. Eddie winning the title feels like a safe pick and there’s nothing wrong with that after everything that has been going on around here as of late. Swann was a nice surprise and Austin came close, but it was probably the right call to end with the most established name who was on the roster coming into the match. Good enough, but nothing great, mainly due to so many people being involved.

Eddie thanks everyone for voting for the match and thanks the wrestlers for everything they do. Let’s keep it rolling into 2021.

The announcers wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B-. You can only get so much out of a show like this and Impact didn’t have the best year. The build to Slammiversary was rather good but the rest of the year left a lot to be desired. I’m sure the Kenny Omega/AEW stuff is going to help in 2021, but they have some more issues to get over besides having a big guest star in the main event scene. This show worked out well though, as there is enough to get through a two hour Best Of episode.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 15, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

It’s back to the Kenny Omega Is A Bigger Star Than Anyone Else Around Here Show and that proved to be a winning formula last week as the audience was quite up. Final Resolution has come and gone so now it’s off the Hard To Kill build. I’m not sure what that is going to mean with Omega being thrown into the mix but it’s interesting to think about. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at a mixture of Omega’s World Title win, promo from last week, and the main stories from last week’s show. It is implied that Omega is coming for the various Impact Titles.

Opening sequence.

Tenille Dashwood vs. Alisha

Kaleb With A K (in a pink suit) and Eddie Edwards are here too. Alisha shouts a lot and then gets knocked down in a hurry. The Thesz press with right hands have Dashwood in some trouble and a backsplash gives Alisha two. A headscissors puts Alisha into the corner but she misses a charge, allowing Dashwood to grab a neckbreaker for her own two. The stomping keeps Alisha down in the corner and we hit the chinlock.

Alisha gets up and is sent to the apron, where she manages a knee to Dashwood’s face. The comeback is on and a bulldog gives Alisha two with Kaleb With A K pulling Dashwood to the floor. Eddie goes after him but takes a camera to the face. Alisha dives onto Kaleb With A K but the distraction lets Dashwood hit the Spotlight Kick for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This is one of Dashwood’s better runs since she left WWE but it still isn’t exactly great stuff. I’m not sure what’s missing but there is a fire that isn’t there and it’s holding her back. Alisha has gotten a bit better in the last few months and she was perfectly acceptable here, even if this felt like it was designed to set up a mixed tag which already happened.

Post match here’s Sami Callihan on screen to tell Eddie and Alisha to spend time with their families, because it might be their last chance.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

The Motor City Machine Guns talk about their three step process to getting the Tag Team Titles back. They have their rematch clause and since there is only space for two machine guns around here, Karl Anderson is going to have to step aside.

We go to Kenny Omega’s bus, where Omega and Callis mock the Guns and tell Karl Anderson, also there, to go get them. Various New Japan tournaments are referenced.

Post break Rich Swann cuts Anderson off before he can go beat up Chris Sabin. Swann: “Because Omega told you to?” Anderson: “I call him Kenny. He’s my friend. You call him champ.” The Guns come in and a match is set between Sabin and Anderson.

Here’s Moose in a suit for a chat. He gives us an injury update on Willie Mack, who will not be able to wrestle for a few weeks. That’s because Moose hurt him, even though no one believes what he is capable of doing. Moose doesn’t like everyone talking about Rich Swann, who may be a great competitor but the difference is Swann stays hurt while Moose hurts people. Swann needs to call Mack and ask what he is getting into.

Cue Mack, who says he isn’t here to wrestle. He isn’t mad at Moose, but rather because the referee said he couldn’t go anymore even though he had plenty left. No one is telling him he’s done, so they can have an I Quit match at Genesis. Moose doesn’t think that’s a good idea but Mack charges the ring. Security breaks it up for a bit so Moose breaks it up.

Moose goes to the back where he is asked what happened out there (Do the interviewers not even watch?). He is tired of indy wrestlers trying to make a name for themselves. One of those guards just ripped his shirt! He gets people trying to do something but don’t you EVER put your hands on him. They couldn’t last three minutes in the ring with him so if you do it again, you’ll get hurt like Mack. That could go a few places.

Chris Bey comes in to see Rohit Raju and congratulate him on losing the X-Division Title at Final Resolution. Raju already has his rematch set for Hard To Kill, which Bey doesn’t seem to like. Bey had an idea for him and goes to leave, but Raju pulls him back. Bey says that if Raju can prove that Manik is TJP, he can get the title back without having to beat him. Raju says he thought of that and great minds think alike. That’s what the two of them should do and as luck would have it, Bey is facing Manik next.

We get another Double Tony Paid Advertisement. Khan says that one of the nice things about Impact is you get to see Kenny Omega and he won’t even slap an injunction on it. Omega is one of the best wrestlers in the world along with Jon Moxley, even though Omega stole the title from him.

Schiavone says it’s hard to find AXS TV, to the point where your smart TV will just ask why if you try to find it. We run down the Dynamite card (Featuring SCU. Tony asked them if they remembered when TNA had fans and they said “no, we don’t”.) and Don Callis is invited to show up so Khan can start teaching him about wrestling. Still funny, with Schiavone being far funnier than he should be.

Eric Young talks about losing his mother to sickness and how sickness and disease can destroy anything. He’s sitting in front of a handcuffed Cody Deaner and promises to baptize him in the holy water of change. Can we go back to Khan talking about how horrible this show is?

Chris Bey vs. Manik

Non-title and Rohit Raju is here with Bey. Manik gets taken into the corner for some choking to start but he’s back with a slingshot headscissors. Something like a torture rack into a reverse Samoan drop plants Bey and Manik sends him outside. The dive connects and we take an early break.

Back with Bey hitting an elbow to the back and going after the mask. Manik fights out of a chinlock attempt and hits a kick to the chest. Bey takes him right back down into a seated abdominal stretch but this time Manik is right back with a belly to back. A quick dropkick puts Manik on the floor though but he’s right back in with a high crossbody. The Detonation Kick looks to set up the double underhook chickenwing, allowing Bey to hit a low blow. Raju tries to come in and go after the mask, so Bey has to stop and yell at him. That’s too far for Raju, who hits Bey in the back of the head to earn Bey a DQ win at 11:32.

Rating: C. Both guys are good in the ring and looked fine here though I’m curious to see where things go. If nothing else, TJP is awesome in whatever role they give him and it’s nice to see him getting a story with some prominent. Raju continues to rise through the ranks and Bey is rather good at anything he does so I approve of all of this.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Sting’s entrance at Final Resolution 2006, setting up his win with Christian over Jeff Jarrett and Monty Brown.

Than Page tells Josh Alexander that it’s all going to be ok, even though he lost at Final Resolution. Josh doesn’t want to hear it though because they can’t be a team right now. Page says we (yes we) will always have your back. Page leaves and here’s Brian Myers to say he’s a tag team specialist who won the Tag Team Titles in front of 82,000 people. A team is proposed but Alexander would rather beat him up. Good move man.

Back on the bus, Omega calls Rich a b**** and Callis tells Anderson to go get his name back from the Guns. Anderson goes off (again) but Omega is kind of ticked off about Swann. He is here to make this show about them instead of Swann and it’s been a long time coming.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz vs. Taya Valkyrie/Rosemary

Rosemary takes Steelz down without too much trouble and it’s Taya coming in to whip Steelz into a suplex from Rosemary for two. Some right hands to the head have Kiera in trouble but Steelz gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Kiera grabs a neckbreaker for two and brings Rosemary into the corner so Steelz can kick her in the ribs. Rosemary gets in a quick Upside Down for a breather but Kiera pulls Taya off the apron to break up a tag attempt.

That doesn’t last long as Rosemary gets over for the hot tag a few seconds later. Taya starts cleaning house, including a spinebuster to Kiera. Cue Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee to beat up Rosemary and since the referee doesn’t see it (because he’s not that good), it’s Hogan hitting a superkick into a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Taya at 7:25.

Rating: C. The match was working well enough until the dumb referee not noticing anything happening, even when Taya was looking outside for a long stretch. Kiera and Tasha advancing isn’t a surprise as they are one of the only regular teams coming into the tournament, but at least they had a decent match on the way there.

Eric Young continues to indoctrinate Cody Deaner about how wrestling is a disease. A sickness cannot give back or provide because it can only take from you. Eric says a parasite latched onto him and Cody says he never saw it. Joe Doering opens a cell door and that’s that.

Kiera and Tasha dance about making it to the finals and promise to win the titles. Tasha says there is no money in the gold fanny pack but here’s Johnny Swinger to talk about when he and Buddy Rose cut off a guy’s finger in Portland. They storm off and Swinger steals the gold fanny pack, complete with the roll of money in a hidden compartment.

Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers

Alexander goes after him to start but gets taken down with a quick legsweep. Cue Ethan Page to help but Myers posts him for his trouble. Back in and Myers takes Alexander down for some knees between the shoulders. The chinlock goes on but Alexander fights up, only to be sent into the corner. Myers loads up his clothesline…..and here’s the Karate Man (Page’s alter ego) to jump Myers for the DQ at 3:14.

Rating: D. This feels like a parody of a bad wrestling segment, which is probably what they are going for, but they did get Myers off television in a hurry. Nothing match of course, but Page as the Karate Guy does seem a little amusing. It seems like the end of the North though, which is kind of a shame but after that long title reign, they didn’t have much else to do.

Cody Deaner admits that he has the disease so Young pours water over him and declares him cured and free. The world belongs to us. Great. Young is getting a stable.

Acey Romero comes in to tell Tommy Dreamer that Larry D. was set up. Dreamer doesn’t buy it but here are Rhino and Cousin Jake to say Eric Young is poisoning Cody Deaner’s mind. Dreamer tells the two of them to do something about Young and Doering, unless they’re scared.

For the next two weeks: The Best Of 2020.

Chris Sabin vs. Karl Anderson

Alex Shelley is here with Sabin. Joined in progress with Anderson taking him over with a headlock but getting reversed into a headscissors for a standoff. Sabin picks up the pace and runs Anderson over but can’t get la majistral. We see omega and Callis not paying attention as commentary says the two of them are paying attention. Anderson gets in a boot rake to the face and Sabin gets sent hard into the corner.

A few kicks to the ribs don’t get Sabin very far as Anderson rakes the eyes to cut him off again. Anderson sends him hard out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Anderson taking him down in a rather aggressive chinlock before switching to an armbar. That doesn’t last long either as Sabin fights up and a collision gives us a double knockdown.

Sabin starts the comeback with a running elbow in the corner followed by a high crossbody for two. A running boot in the corner sets up a tornado DDT for two more and they’re both down. They slug it out until a double clothesline knocks them both down again. They pop back up and it’s another double clothesline for yet another double knockdown. It’s Anderson up first with the spinebuster for two but a rollup with trunks is enough to finish Sabin at 17:26.

Rating: B. This was a rather solid main event and that’s great to see on any given show. It’s a pretty simple formula: take two guys who can work rather well and put them in a match against each other for a long time. That’s the kind of thing that is going to work out for everyone and it worked well here. Solid main event and that’s never a bad thing.

Post match Rich Swann comes out to yell at Anderson but leaves with him at the same time. Omega gets up and says watch a master at work. Callis follows him as we see Anderson kicking Swann in the face. The Machine Guns come in for the save so here’s Luke Gallows to break it up. Swann superkicks Gallows but Omega blasts Swann with a wet floor sign. Omega thinks it sounds good to make the six man at Hard To Kill, so Callis makes the match official. Goodbye and good night.

Overall Rating: C+. Much, much better show than last week as they had a theme throughout and then paid it off in the end. Omega actually doing something other than sitting around talking helps a lot too and the six man should be awesome. This is the kind of show that they needed to have last week and even though I’m not a fan of Young, it makes sense to give one of their bigger stars (egads) a bigger story like what he was doing here. Pretty nice show here and the kind they needed to have.

Results

Tenille Dashwood b. Alisha – Spotlight Kick

Chris Bey b. Mania via DQ when Rohit Raju interfered

Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz b. Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Valkyrie

Brian Myers b. Josh Alexander via DQ when Ethan Page interfered

Karl Anderson b. Chris Sabin – Rollup with trunks

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

I’m actually looking at this show live for the first time in a long time as AEW World Champion Kenny Omega is here. Why AEW would want to do something with Impact Wrestling is beyond me but it could be interesting to see where they go with whatever they have planned. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Kenny Omega winning the AEW World Title on Dynamite with Don Callis on commentary. Callis helped cost Moxley the title and then said you would hear more about it Tuesday on Impact. That’s still some pretty tame interference and it’s hardly the big screwjob that commentary was treating it as being.

Josh Alexander vs. Chris Sabin

Ethan Page and Alex Shelley are here too. Feeling out process to start with Sabin taking him down, only to have Alexander pull Sabin to the mat by the arm. A stomp and some knees to the ribs have Sabin in trouble and there’s a backbreaker to make it worse. We hit the seated abdominal stretch and then a chinlock as commentary ignores everything going on here to talk about Omega and AEW.

Sabin manages to slip out and kick him in the head to send Alexander outside. The suicide dive connects but Sabin’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb onto the knee for two. A ripcord forearm drops Sabin again but he grabs a jackknife cover for the surprise pin at 9:45.

Rating: C. The Tag division, or at least the top of it, is quite good around here and Alexander is someone who can do a lot of good things during the show. Sabin is way past his prime but he can still go in the ring. If this sets up another big showdown somewhere down the road, I certainly wouldn’t be complaining.

Commentary talks about Omega and Callis like it’s the most important story in the world, even though it has almost nothing to do with anyone involved with this show.

Chris Bey comes up to a rather intense Moose and asks about their tag match tonight. Moose says they’ll talk after Bey’s World Title shot on Saturday. Bey isn’t sure what to think about him.

Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone have a paid advertisement telling us to watch AEW tomorrow. Khan doesn’t like how Omega won the belt and thinks Don Callis can be on the show tomorrow night. There are some great tag teams around here and maybe Khan will just buy the whole promotion. Khan: “You worked for Impact Wrestling back in the day right?” Schiavone: “Yeah for one night. Then I quit the business for 18 years.”

Brian Myers vs. TJP

They start fast with TJP taking him down and then grabbing a headlock for some spot calling. Myers puts him on top but TJP is right back down. They head outside with Myers sending him into the barricade as we take a break. Back with TJP hitting a tornado DDT but having to bail out of the Mamba splash.

Myers hits a Downward Spiral but misses a clothesline (his signature move according to Matthews, as he promises that this is what you will see every week) and gets pulled into the kneebar. A rope is grabbed so TJP snaps off a belly to back suplex. Myers avoids a charge though and hits a running clothesline for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s the former Curt Hawkins getting a nearly twelve minute match on the biggest show Impact could have had in years. Why does this surprise any of you? I’m still not sure what the point is in having Myers featured so prominently unless he’s helping out backstage, but with the reputation that he received in WWE, this isn’t doing him much good.

The Deaners are ready to face Eric Young and Joe Doering, but Cody says he has to do this on his own. Eventually he relents and lets Jake come to the ring with him, but it’s all serious tonight.

Rohit Raju laughs at TJP for losing and brags about how great of a year he has had. The final Defeat Rohit Challenge of 2020 at Final Resolution is open to anyone (except TJP of course) and TJP wishes him luck.

Eric Young vs. Cody Deaner

Young pounds away to start and yells at Cody a bit. Cody’s shots to the ribs don’t work as Young chokes on the ropes and sends him outside. Back in and Cody gets in a few more right hands, only to miss the top rope headbutt. The piledriver finishes Cody at 3:44.

Rating: D+. Yeah what were you expecting here? Young and Doering are being treated as the new monsters around here and it was Young against a Deaner. How else was this going to be anything but a complete squash? It’s still one of the least interesting teams in the company but they make sense in this spot.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Rhino runs in with a pipe for the save.

John E. Bravo wants Tommy Dreamer to arrest Larry D. for attempted murder. Dreamer goes over to Larry and tells him what’s going on, but Larry has an idea: a match with Dreamer at Final Resolution. If Larry wins, he goes free, but if he loses, he’ll go to jail peacefully. Dreamer says it’s on, as Larry asks how he can win his freedom from attempted murder in a wrestling match. Dreamer: “I can do anything I want.”

Post break Tommy Dreamer comes in to see Scott D’Amore, who isn’t happy with Dreamer making matches but he can’t be too upset now. Dreamer is worried about Kenny Omega and Don Callis because he’s been there before. He’s worried about what happens to the locker room but D’Amore isn’t worried.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles Tournament First Round: Taya Valkyrie/Rosemary vs. Deonna Purrazzo/Kimber Lee

Purrazzo and Rosemary fight over the arm to start with Rosemary scaring her into the corner so it’s off to Taya. Lee knocks her into the corner as well and it’s a double suplex to give Purrazzo two. Taya fights up and brings in Rosemary to clean house, only to have Purrazzo catch her in a Downward Spiral.

Lee’s flipping neckbreaker sends Rosemary’s back into the knee for two. Purrazzo kicks Rosemary in the face as everything breaks down. Taya and Lee do the splits and slug it out on the mat until Purrazzo kicks Lee by mistake. Purrazzo and Taya fight to the floor, leaving Rosemary to hit the Wing Clipper on Lee to advance at 6:59.

Rating: D. Not much to see here and given how the other first round matches have gone, I can’t say I’m surprised by how the ending went. Taya and Rosemary are a better team and it’s not like Purrazzo needs to be in the Tag Team Title scene when she’s already Knockouts Champion. Boring match, as the show continues to drag.

Here are your updated brackets:

Havok/Nevaeh

Jordynne Grace/Jazz

Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz

Taya Valkyrie/Rosemary

Alisha doesn’t have time for Tenille and Kaleb With A K because she’s worried about Sami Callihan hurting Eddie Edwards. Tenille isn’t happy that they have to do this later.

Purrazzo and Lee come up to yell at Scott D’Amore over everything Purrazzo has to do. D’Amore mocks them a bit and makes Purrazzo vs. Rosemary for the Knockouts Title at Final Resolution.

Here’s Sami Callihan for a chat. He says he’s the highest rated name in Impact Wrestling because of everything he does around here and has carried this place on his back. The company needs him more than he needs it and that’s why he gets away with everything. He’s the one who put this company on the map when he crushed Eddie Edwards’ face with a baseball bat so let’s look at that footage.

Now he’s here holding things down while Ken Shamrock takes a needed vacation. While he’s doing that, he wanted to hurt Eddie again to pop the ratings, so let’s see that as well. Instead here’s Alisha, with Sami threatening to break her neck. Cue Eddie from behind to jump Sami, who takes a beating and runs away.

Post break Alisha tells Eddie that he needs to help her with her problem but he’s too fired up.

Rich Swann/Willie Mack vs. Moose/Chris Bey

Swann and Bey trade flips to start with Swann rolling over into a dropkick. We take a very early break and come back with Moose throwing Mack down and then throwing Bey onto him for two. Moose continues the pounding with raw power and hands it off to Bey for two more. It’s back to Moose, who yells at Bey on the way out.

Mack manages a pair of Stunners and makes the hot tag off to Swann, who is quickly powerbombed by Moose. Instead of covering, Moose heads outside with Mack, leaving Swann to beat on Bey. Moose comes back in and gets superkicked down, with Swann hurricanranaing Bey onto him for two. Mack misses the Six Star Frog Splash though, allowing Moose to spear him down. Moose elbows him in the head over and over until Swann breaks it up but Bey pins Mack at 11:48.

Rating: C. Moose continues to look like a monster and I can’t imagine anything else headlining Hard To Kill but Moose getting his World Title shot against Swann. Bey needed a win after last week’s loss to Mack so this went as well as it could have. I’m a bit surprised that Bey didn’t pin Swann, but it’s nice to avoid the cliché like that.

Josh and Madison hype up the interview with Omega and Callis one more time.

Post break Swann, who took the fastest shower in recorded history, isn’t allowed to go to the parking lot because Kenny Omega has the parking lot blocked off. Josh gets to go by for the interview though and Swann is ticked.

Josh goes onto the bus with Omega and Callis, who cuts things off for a special moment: the ceremonial changing of the name plate on the title. Josh asks Callis about the interference last week, including wanting to know how long this has been in the works. Omega offers Josh the Moxley name plate because they were close before (Callis: “He’s a Stamford Stooge.”).

Callis talks about Omega’s uncle, the Golden Sheik, training him in Canada 27 years ago. The Sheik became Callis’ manager and then introduced him to his ten year old nephew Kenny. Since then, Callis has helped Omega throughout the years. Why else would Callis get back into the wrestling industry five years ago? Was it just to do a podcast? Was it just to do commentary in New Japan? It was all part of a plan to make Omega the biggest star in the world, down to the point where Tony Khan invited Callis into his home to set up Callis’ spot on commentary.

Callis is the one who booked Omega vs. Chris Jericho in the Tokyo Dome in the match which gave birth to All Elite Wrestling. Now you have a Hall of Famer in his mid 30s as the World Champion because they make history. Josh tries to ask if the title win was tainted but Omega says he’ll be taking over the interviewer role.

What would happen if someone who Josh couldn’t stand put their hands on Josh’s father? Would that make you pick up whatever you could to attack that person? What did Moxley expect would happen when he laid his hand on the invisible hand behind Omega’s push? Omega didn’t taint anything because he has dominated the wrestling world for years. Look at the top 20 AEW matches in history. He’s in about 17 of them. Mexico, England, Zimbabwe. No matter where you look, Omega is the king.

Look at this bus, where they like to live in style. So why impact Wrestling? As a child, Omega collected comic books but he had to quit because no matter how many comics he got, he could never get the rarest of them all. Now he has a new hobby: having the Action Comics #1 of wrestling with the title. Sure he had the X-Men and Spider-Man #1 in his collection, but maybe he can add some Impact Titles to his collection. There is going to be a big announcement on Dynamite and they need to get the Lex Express ready to go. Omega does his goodbye and good night to end the show.

So that’s the big interview and the reveal is that….Callis, who is the biggest Omega fan not named Meltzer in the world, has helped him get where he is today because Omega’s uncle trained Callis and he wanted to repay the favor? I’ve heard far worse explanations and while I’ve never cared about Callis in the slightest, this could be interesting. It seems that we are going to be getting something with Omega going after other titles and I’m assuming he’ll do that better than Austin Aries a few years ago. It’s too early to know where this is going yet, but this is enough to keep me intrigued for now.

Overall Rating: D+. I can’t get on them too much for having a lame show with this much hype as it’s all taped in advance, but they did not exactly put their best foot forward. This show was mainly focused on Omega being the most important thing in the world, which didn’t exactly make the Impact regulars look like they mattered in the slightest. Granted when you have Brian Myers, Eric Young, Tommy Dreamer and Rhino in featured roles, how good can things be? Bad show, but the Omega deal is all that matters.

Results

Chris Sabin b. Josh Alexander – Jackknife rollup

Brian Myers b. TJP – Running clothesline

Eric Young b. Cody Deaner – Piledriver

Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie b. Kimber Lee/Deonna Purrazzo – Wing Clipper to Lee

Chris Bey/Moose b. Willie Mack/Rich Swann – Elbows to Moose’s head

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6