WrestleCon Supershow 2024: Vague Memories

WrestleCon Supershow 2024
Date: April 4, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Veda Scott

It’s one of the biggest independent events of Wrestlemania Weekend and as usual, the card is rather stacked. You will regularly get some rather nice surprises to boost up what is already advertised and that makes it a lot more fun. This time around most of the card has been advertised in advance to change it up a bit. Let’s get to it.

I was in the crowd for this, sitting near the stage (all of three feet in front of commentary, which I could hear throughout for a really weird feeling). However, I had a bad case of vertigo kick in just before the show started and it didn’t wrap up until around the start of the main event so I spent a good chunk of this show trying not to fall over. I don’t remember much of it as a result so this should be fun.

ECW announcer Stephen DeAngelis welcomes us to the show and shows us a video on Mark Hitchcock, a graphic designer who passed away on his honeymoon. The show has been named in his honor ever since.

Joey Janela vs. Nic Nemeth

Feeling out process to start with neither getting anywhere off an exchange of lockups. Nemeth wrestles him down without much trouble and Janela seems to realize he’s in trouble on the mat. Janela gets over to the ropes before running Nemeth down in a bit more successful strategy. Back up and Nemeth misses a Stinger Splash, allowing Janela to hit a rather snazzy chop.

Nemeth gets sent into the ropes for a quick German suplex and Janela sends him outside as commentary talks about the paths these two took to get here. Back in and we hit the neck crank as Gill has quite the trouble remembering if it’s Nemeth or Ziggler (fair enough). Janela hits some more hard chops as commentary talks about how you can hear the chops throughout the arena (true).

An Angle Slam gets Nemeth out of trouble for a much needed breather as they’re both down. Back up and Nemeth starts the comeback, with a ram into four different corners. The superkick is blocked though and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. They slug it out and trade superkicks until Nemeth hits a dropkick for another double knockdown.

Janela manages to grab the Death Valley Driver onto the apron but Nemeth is right back with the running DDT for two. Nemeth’s Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb, followed by the package piledriver for another near fall. Janela takes too long going up and gets superplexed back down for the big crash. Back up and Janela hits a running elbow to put both of them down again. Nemeth shrugs that off and hits a Fameasser into the Danger Zone for the pin at 18:17.

Rating: B. Janela likes to go long in his matches but he did well here. This isn’t about some big long term story or anything serious, but rather having an entertaining match. Nemeth getting to do things outside of WWE is rather interesting for a change and facing Janela in a long match is almost a rite of passage. Good stuff here and it felt like a match that could have hung on a more traditional show.

Los Boricuas vs. FBI/???

This would be Savio Vega/Miguel Perez Jr./Nathalya Perez (with the rest of the team) vs. Little Guido/Tommy Rich/a mystery partner in the form of….Deonna Purrazzo (and Tony Mamaluke to even things up a bit). For those of you who don’t know who Nathalya is Miguel’s daughter, making her the first ever third generation Puerto Rican wrestler. Miguel and Guido start things off but it’s quickly off to Savio vs. Rich.

Nathalya comes in and wants Purrazzo, which does not seem to be a good idea. Nathalya actually takes her into the corner and chops away, only for Purrazzo to demonstrate it a bit better. Purrazzo drops her rather quickly so it’s off to Miguel, who drives Rich into the corner. An elbow to the head gets Rich out of trouble and Guido comes in for a Paisan elbow in a nice flashback.

Hold on though as Guido is sent outside for some Boricuas cheating, meaning we have a big ejection. Miguel grabs a chinlock on Guido before Savio comes back in and is promptly crossbodied. Miguel is right there to cut him off with a clothesline but Guido gets in a middle rope…we’ll call it a clothesline. The tag brings Rich back in for the right hands as everything breaks down. Nathalya slugs it out with Purrazzo and they trade kicks to the head, only for Purrazzo to grab the Fujiwara armbar for the tap at 9:33.

Rating: C. This was there for the sake of some goofy old school fun and there is nothing wrong with that. The fans are going to be into the FBI and their goofy dancing while Los Boricuas certainly have a reputation. Purrazzo was a nice surprise and fit in well with the team, while Nathalya’s biggest flaw is she looks incredibly young. That will change with time, but for now, she looks like a teenager out there. Anyway, fun match to pop the live crowd.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mike Bailey

Veda Scott is a bit biased here, which might be due to her being married to Bailey. Bill Alfonso is here with Van Dam for the old school feeling and yes it’s Walk for the entrance music. As a bonus, Jerry Lynn is guest referee. They fight over a lockup to start until Van Dam fakes a clean break by grabbing a headlock. Said headlock takes Bailey over a few times but he headscissors his way to freedom.

Back up and they both miss kicks for a standoff, with the fans dubbing this awesome. For some reason Van Dam thinks it’s time to pose, allowing Bailey to kick him down. You don’t break up Van Dam’s posing so he chokes on the ropes, poses, and hits a slingshot legdrop. Bailey is draped over the barricade for the spinning kick to the back for the nasty landing on the floor. Van Dam takes too long getting some water from a fan and gets taken down by an Asai moonsault. Gill worries about Fonzie being taken out as well but Scott said “don’t worry, he’s a resilient chap”.

Back in and Bailey hits a hard Helluva Kick into a Tajiri handspring elbow into a running shooting star press for two. The moonsault knees miss though and Van Dam gets two off a rollup. That’s enough to draw Fonzie in for an argument, which only allows Bailey to nail the bouncing kicks. Bailey misses a big kick but Van Dam misses the Rolling Thunder. The shooting star misses for Bailey so Fonzie throws in the chair for a Van Daminator. The Five Star finishes Bailey at 10:57.

Rating: C+. Oh like Van Dam was losing in the ECW Arena on a special show like this. The good thing about Van Dam is that unlike most of the former ECW stars, he can still more than hang in there and have a perfectly watchable match. That was the case here as he and Bailey had an entertaining match with the right ending. Nice stuff here and seeing Van Dam in this building was special.

Rev Pro British Heavyweight Title: Michael Oku vs. Titan

Oku, with Amira, is defending. They go with the grappling to start with Titan twisting out of a wristlock. Stereo dropkick attempts miss and they chop it out, with Oku sticking his chest out but getting kicked in the stomach instead. Back up and Oku sends him outside, only for Titan to jump back inside for the suicide dive.

They get back inside where Titan kicks him in various areas but Oku is back with a middle rope dropkick. With Titan on the floor, Oku hits a running shooting star over the ropes to take him out again. A high crossbody gives Oku two back inside but Titan drops him on the apron. That means a top rope double stomp, only to have Titan come up favoring his knee. Back in and Titan misses another double stomp, allowing Oku to knee him in the face.

The Lionsault sets up the half crab (Oku’s finisher) but the rope is reached rather quickly. Titan’s knee is fine enough to hit a springboard tornado DDT and we get a double breather. They forearm it out until Titan gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the face. Titan’s top rope double stomp gets two but bangs up the knee again. Oku pulls him into the half crab and bridges back for the tap to retain at 15:32.

Rating: B. It was a good, back and forth match with the title helping a lot. I’m not sue I get Oku’s appeal a lot of the time, but he was feeling it here and the submission/high flying combination worked well here. Titan did well with his own stuff as well and it was a rather entertaining match that felt like it could have been on any regular show, which is a nice fit in on a show like this one.

Rascalz vs. Matt Riddle/Mustafa Ali

That was unadvertised so all three entrances get quite the reaction. Riddle takes Wentz down without much trouble to start and they wrestle to a standoff. Wentz gets a headscissors but Riddle slips out, only to miss the big kick to the chest. Back up and Wentz slips out of a German suplex and they slap each other in the face, followed by an exchange of respectful nods.

Ali comes in and takes over on Miguel’s arm but Miguel is right back up with an armbar of his own. They trade some quick near falls and that’s good for a standoff. Everything breaks down and Riddle sends the Rascalz to the floor for the big dive from Ali in a nice bit of teamwork. Back in and Wentz kicks Riddle down to grab the chinlock, followed by the wishbone into stereo basement dropkicks (ouch) for two.

Miguel kicks him in the head again but Ali gets over to bring Ali in and pick up the pace. Riddle gets pulled off the apron though and Ali misses a charge into the corner, allowing the double teaming strikes to drop Ali for two more. Wentz’s hard DDT gets two but Ali fights right back up (as tends to be the case) and brings Riddle back in to clean house. A snazzy German suplex gets two on Miguel but the Floating Bro is broken up. Ali is back in with the tornado DDT, only to miss the 450 and roll into a cutter from Wentz. A springboard cutter drops Riddle, who bounces back up with a double cutter. The Bro Derek finishes Miguel at 14:20.

Rating: B. Ali and Riddle are something of an indy dream team at the moment and it was cool to see them getting together and having a heck of a match here. At the same time, there is something odd about seeing a makeshift team beating a regular team, which was a major focal point from commentary. That being said, it’s hard to imagine most people beating Riddle when he gets into that mode and the match was rather good.

Respect is shown post match.

Josh Alexander vs. Masato Tanaka

Alexander easily takes it to the mat for an early standoff and they fight over hammerlock control. A running shoulder puts Tanaka down but he’s back up with the right hands in the corner. They chop it out until Alexander dragon screw legwhips him down. Tanaka’s leg is fine enough for him to grab a suplex, only to have Alexander roll some German suplexes for two.

The C4 Spike is countered into the sliding elbow to give Tanaka two of his own. Tanaka’s top rope superplex…doesn’t really hurt Alexander, who pops back up for the clothesline comeback (?). The Roaring Elbow gives Tanaka two but his top rope splash hits raised knees. That means the ankle lock (the first of many I’m sure) goes on for Alexander but Tanaka rolls out, earning himself the running crossbody to the back.

Back in and Tanaka wins a slugout, even knocking Alexander’s headgear off. Alexander elbows him down for two and they forearm it out again. Tanaka knocks him into the corner for Diamond Dust and another near fall but Alexander is back with a powerbomb onto the knee. The C4 Spike finishes Tanaka at 12:16.

Rating: B. Take two hard hitters and let them beat the fire out of each other for about twelve minutes until the bigger name hits his finisher for the pin. It was a good, hard hitting match and one of those “hmm, that’s interesting” deals that you can see on a show like this one. Alexander continues to feel like a big fish in a small pond with TNA so it’s nice to see him getting a moment to shine here.

The ring announcer thanks the fans.

Team CMLL vs. Team Dragon Gate

CMLL: Averno/Barbaro Cavernario/Mistico/Star Jr./Villano III Jr.
Dragon Gate: Dragon Kid/Kota Minoura/Kzy/Shun Skywalker/Yamato

The annual ten man tag is a WrestleCon Supershow signature. Skywalker (quite the villain) bails to the floor to start as commentary is flat out saying they can’t keep track of all these people. Cavernario and Kid start things off with some grappling on the mat until Cavernario pulls him into a quickly broken surfboard. Cavernario hits him in the face but Kid snaps off a headscissors.

Averno and Yamato come in with Averno taking Yamato down but getting caught with an arm crank. With that not working, we get the big staredown between Skywalker and Mistico, with the handshake not happening. Mistico snaps off a running headscissors to send him outside and there’s the dive to take Skywalker out again. Everything breaks down for a brawl on the floor until we settle down to Star chopping it out with Kzy.

Star hits a jumping uppercut to put Kzy down until Star ties him in the ropes for a springboard fadeaway legdrop (ala Carmelo Hayes). A kind of flipping slam plants Kzy for two and Star hits a springboard clothesline. Villano comes in to hammer away on Minoura as everything breaks down again.

We settle down (kind of) to Skywalker throwing Cavernario into the corner, allowing Kid to come in and drop some knees. Averno comes in and gets stomped down before Yamato grabs a quickly broken chinlock. It’s back to Villano, who is taken down as well with Dragon Gate holding his partners back in a smart move. That doesn’t last long either as Star comes in and gets taken down in a hurry.

Kzy’s elbow to the back gets two with Mistico making the save but getting caught in the wrong corner as well. Mistico and Minoura strike it out until a swinging Boss Man Slam gives Minoura two. Skywalker comes in but Mistico is back with a handspring double elbow and it’s back to Star. The big dive to the floor takes out most of Dragon Gate and Mistico hits a bigger dive to send them into the crowd.

Back in and Kid gets triple teamed but manages to hand it back to Averno. Skywalker gets caught in the ropes for a bunch of strikes to the chest/head and back to back triplebombs get two with Kid making the save. Averno gets super hurricanranaed down and a frog splash gets two and Cavernario gets kicked in the head….sending him into the Worm.

Something like a Vader Bomb hits Kid or two as everything breaks down. Mistico gets kicked down by Kzy but Skywalker shoves his own partner down, wanting the win for himself. That lets Star hit a top rope double stomp on Skywalker, setting up an arm/leg crank. Mistico adds La Mistica to Kzy for the double submission at 24:47.

Rating: B. This was quite the display of talent with everyone in there going nuts to get int heir own bit of offense. That being said, the match ran long as the stretch where Dragon Gate triple teamed people and cut the ring off just kept going. It was a fun spectacle but never really did anything all that huge to take it up to the next level.

Post match Skywalker goes after CMLL again and gets stomped down.

Of note: following the show, I went to dinner and wound up sitting next to most of Team CMLL (minus Mistico). They were all unmasked but I recognized Cavernario, who confirmed it was the rest of the team and apparently some others. None of them could say who they were, but it was a rather cool treat.

Gill hypes up the main event and intros the ring announcer, who isn’t quite ready, resulting in a 47 second run on sentence introduction with Gill all but begging him to start talking. You could hear the relief in Gill’s voice when the introductions began and he got some applause for his efforts.

Paul Walter Hauser vs. Sami Callihan

Street fight and Hauser is mainly an (Emmy Award winning) actor who occasionally wrestles. Callihan jumps him from behind to start and says F*** Philly/WrestleCon because he’s about to cut up an Emmy winner. The stomping is on, followed by a kendo stick shot to the back. Callihan grabs a bag of toys, starting with a piece of paper to cut the creases between Hauser’s fingers.

Naturally he follows with a lemon to squeeze the juice into the cuts for the real pain. The pizza cutter slices Hauser’s head up as commentary brings up Hauser invading Callihan’s Wrestling Revolver promotion. Back in and Callihan carves him up with the cutter again but Hauser busts out some powder for a needed breather. Callihan hits him with a table but chops the post by mistake.

It’s time for a door, though we pause for Hauser to trade his torn shirt to a fan for a fresh one. Back in and Hauser misses a charge to get sent through the door and Callihan whips out some staple guns. Callihan even throws one to Hauser and they trade staples to various body parts. Hauser staples him low and drops a headbutt for two. It’s time for thumbtacks but Hauser’s middle rope elbow only hits said tacks.

A table is brought in and a powerbomb sends Hauser through it for two. Callihan knocks the referee down and grabs the kendo stick. Said stick is thrown down so Callihan kicks him low and gets two from Bill Alfonso of all people. The near fall doesn’t work for Callihan, who decks Alfonso and grabs the kendo stick….for the Sandman’s pose.

The lights go out and we get the full Enter Sandman treatment as the Sandman is here. I remember watching Sandman as a kid and thinking this was the coolest entrance ever so getting to see it in person, in the ECW Arena, even when Sandman is 60 and has been retired forever, was an all time wrestling moment. For a bonus, we also cut back to the ring where Alfonso is just sitting in the corner watching the entrance in a funny moment. Sandman finally gets in and canes Callihan, allowing Hauser to hit the White Russian Legsweep into the tacks for the pin at 23:38.

Rating: C. The match itself was WAY too long, but the only thing that mattered here was getting in the big Sandman moment at the end. Hauser gets to beat the evil Callihan in a fun and special ending and it did that well enough. The problem is the match could have been ten minutes shorter, as you can only see so much of Callihan beating him up in between short comebacks. This had to headline for the sake of Sandman though and that was worth the wait.

Hauser thanks the fans for letting him into their world to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show is always tricky to do as it has so many things going on with all kinds of interesting matches. While some of them didn’t quite work, the stuff that was good was very good, especially with just the right amount of ECW nostalgia. I look forward to this show every year and it worked again here, albeit with a few less than great spots.

 

 

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Rampage – April 20, 2024: And Then They Stopped

Rampage
Date: April 20, 2024
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuinness

We’re still in Peoria for the second half of our back to back shows. This one is only half as long as Collision, but it is going to have its work cut out for it to be as good. It’s the last show before Dynasty and the card is set, so odds are this will follow the Rampage tradition of not adding much long term. Let’s get to it.

Here is Collision if you need a recap.

Jon Moxley is ready to defend the IWGP World Title against Powerhouse Hobbs and next week, he hopes Hobbs has found the heart he has been needing. Don’t hesitate for one second, because Moxley won’t either.

Rob Van Dam vs. Isiah Kassidy vs. Lee Johnson vs. Komander

Elimination rules and yes Van Dam is only here because of the date. Believe it or not the fans like Van Dam more than a pair of lower card stars and a tag wrestler. Kassidy gets double dropkicked to start as Van Dam is happy with sitting and watching the other guys fight. He finally comes in but gets dropkicked down by Kassidy, who misses his own Rolling Thunder.

Van Dam hits the real thing before Johnson sends Komander and Kassidy outside for the big flip dive. Back in and Kassidy rakes Johnson’s eyes, setting up a rollup with tights for the elimination at 3:53. We take a break and come back with Komander sending Kassidy outside. A big running forearm hits Van Dam in the corner and a springboard Swanton gets two on Kassidy.

Komander tries to walk the ropes but gets crotched by Kassidy, who kicks Van Dam down. Back up and Van Dam drops Kassidy with some kicks but Marq Quen pulls him outside. That’s fine with Komander, who hits Cielito Lindo to get rid of Kassidy at 9:41 total. We’re down to Komander vs. Van Dam and they trade rollups for two each. A northern lights suplex puts Komander down and the Five Star Frog Splash gives Van Dam the win at 12:35.

Rating: C+. For a match that was only there for the sake of a Rob Van Dam joke, this could have been worse. I’ll take the elimination rules over Van Dam scoring a quick rollup win as it looks like he accomplished a bit more. Also, does Komander just have a job for matches like this one? It’s about all he seems to do anymore.

Emi Sakura vs. Yuka Sakazaki

Sakura stomps away in the corner to start and gets two off a rollup. Sakazaki is back with a basement lariat and we hit an early STF. With that broken up, Sakazaki tries to run the ropes but seems to slip and fall out to the floor. Sakura follows and grabs some WOO Energy for some dancing, triggering a chase scene. Sakazaki catches her and grabs a running hurricanrana off the apron. We take a break and come back with Sakura hitting a backbreaker for two. Sakura goes up but takes too long mocking a drinking pose, allowing Sakazaki to grab a German suplex from the ropes for the pin at 9:32.

Rating: C+. Good enough match, but it’s quite the Rampage special: two women who have nothing going on around here having a match to fill in time. There is only so much you can get out of that as it’s a cold match in front of a crowd who might not be overly familiar with the two of them. The ending came a bit out of nowhere, but I wonder if Sakazaki was shaken up by that fall.

We get a Rampage Exclusive, with Angelo Parker saying he tried to fight but lost everything, including the love of his life. He doesn’t have anything left so he’s going to retir….and here is Ruby Soho to say he has something to fight for. That’s because she’s pregnant, with a kiss ensuing. How wholesome and sweet!

Kyle O’Reilly/Matt Menard/Rocky Romero vs. Undisputed Kingdom

O’Reilly wants Strong to start but has to settle for working on Bennett’s arm. We’ll switch that over to Taven, who gets taken down by Menard’s armdrag. Romero comes in but Bennett counters a hurricanrana, meaning Strong is willing to come in this time. A backbreaker puts Romero down and it’s back to Taven as we take a break.

Back with Romero avoiding a charge in the corner and grabbing a double hurricanrana, allowing the tag off to Menard. A Boston crab goes on but Taven makes a fast save. The moonsault gives Taven two but it’s back to O’Reilly to pick up the pace. House is cleaned until it’s off to Strong for the strike off. O’Reilly fires off kicks until a backbreaker cuts him off. Romero makes the save, leaving O’Reilly to clothesline Bennett and grab the cross armbreaker for the win at 12:10.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night so far and the fact that it was designed to help boost up a match on the pay per view helped. It would have been nice if the other four involved had something to do on the show but at least we got a tease of O’Reilly vs. Strong. That match could use some extra juice and this was better than nothing.

Post match O’Reilly says he’s coming for the title.

Dynasty rundown.

Overall Rating: C+. This was quite the Rampagey Rampage, as they more or less flipped an off switch after Collision and just coasted in through the next hour. That doesn’t make for the most entertaining hour but the action was good enough. Van Dam helped pick things up by making it feel special and the main event was solid. Somehow this is more than you get out of the normal Rampage, which says a lot about what this show has become.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Isiah Kassidy, Lee Johnson and Komander last eliminating Komander
Yuka Sakazaki b. Emi Sakura – German suplex from the ropes
Kyle O’Reilly/Matt Menard/Rocky Romero b. Undisputed Kingdom – Cross armbreaker to Bennett

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII (2020 Redo): My Usual Confused Thoughts

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

With that out of the way, it’s time for Booker T. and Sharmell to be scared of the Boogeyman. Booker insists that he isn’t a freak magnet and runs into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase not letting Eugene dribble a basketball to win money, Snitsky doing…something to Mae Young’s foot as Moolah watches, and Goldust dressed as Oprah. Goldust says they’re all freaks and the only way to beat the Boogeyman is to put the worms in his…and it’s whispered in Booker’s ear. A ticked off Booker leaves with Sharmell.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2002 (2017 Redo): Those Are Some Big Odds

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That sets up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Dynamite – October 25, 2023: Yeah It’s Him

Sidenote: when you get done with this, check out this review as well:

https://www.blogofdoom.com/2023/10/25/kamala-vs-bastian-booger-and-other-dream-matches/

It’s the latest entry in a series by a colleague of mine featuring reviews of random, often bizarre matches.  They’re good stuff and worth a look.

Dynamite
Date: October 25, 2023
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Taz

The road to Full Gear continues and this week’s show is centered around the Dynamite Diamond Ring. In this case we have MJF defending the ring (because it has to be defended) against Juice Robinson. The match is part of the setup for MJF defending the World Title against Jay White at Full Gear so let’s get to it.

Here is Collision if you need a recap.

MJF is in the back and calls Adam Cole, who actually answers. Cue Roderick Strong and the Kingdom with the former accusing MJF of being behind the devil mask. MJF shoves the wheelchair away (Roddy’s scream is funny) and promises to take out Bullet Club Gold tonight. We cut to someone in the devil mask nodding and shoving the camera away.

Dynamite Diamond Ring: Maxwell Jacob Friedman vs. Juice Robinson

MJF is defending the ring (not the World Title) and the Gunns are here with Robinson. The fight starts fast and MJF sends him to the floor, where Robinson is sent over a table, allowing MJF to grab some water. Said water is of course spat into Robinson’s face and Robinson is busted open (presumably by going head first into the post and not by the water).

The Gunns offer a distraction though and Robinson sends him into the steps to even things up. A DDT onto the apron rocks MJF again as Robinson is rather bloody. Robinson hammers away and here is Jay White to taunt MJF as we take a break. Back with MJF grabbing some slams and nailing the Kangaroo Kick. The Gunns offer a distraction though and Robinson’s leg lariat gets two.

MJF is fine enough to poke Robinson in the eyes and shrug a bit. Robinson spits in his face though and hits the big left. MJF fights back and loads up the Heatseeker but opts to dive onto the Gunns instead. Back in and the rope low blow sets up the forward DDT for two as White loses his mind on commentary. Robinson loads up his ring thanks to a Gunns distraction but MJF hits his own ring shot. The Heatseeker retains the ring at 15:02.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go as you don’t want MJF to lose but at the same time, it was a situation where Robinson had been built up to win. They had a good match though as Robinson is a ball of charisma and MJF is crazy over. At the same time, can we please drop the defending the ring tradition? MJF has literally had the thing since its inception and Robinson doing his “yeah I bought my own” kind of killed the whole point behind it.

Post match the Gunns run in for the beatdown but the Kingdom runs in for the save. Jay White runs in to uneven things but Billy Gunn and the Acclaimed make the real save. The Club bails and the Gunns challenge MJF for the ROH Tag Team Titles and of course MJF is in. He’s not waiting for Full Gear to face White though, so next week the eight man tag is on. Strong and the Acclaimed want the spot but MJF threatens to send Strong over a cliff.

As for the Acclaimed….he wouldn’t team with Max Caster if he was on fire. Caster: “So you’re saying there’s a chance!” Caster asks for some scissoring before MJF leaves….and that’s a big negative. As MJF leaves, here is Kenny Omega for a staredown. Omega says he wants the title so MJF offers him a title shot on Collision. Deal, with Omega saying “three days b****.” They packed A LOT into that first half hour and dang that’s a huge title match, but doing it in three days seems like it’s burning through what could be a PPV main event.

Wardlow talks about how he was away going to a dark place. He watched MJF become the face of this company despite him running through MJF when they fought. Now he wants revenge.

Hook/Rob Van Dam vs. Dark Order

Hook works on Reynolds’ arm to start and hands it off to Van Dam to quite the reaction. The Order is sent to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Van Dam striking away at Silver but having to kick Reynolds to the floor. Hook comes back in to slug away at Silver but Reynolds makes the save. Evil Uno brings in a chair and that means a Van Daminator. The Five Star hits Reynolds and Redrum finishes Silver at 7:47.

Rating: C. Much like every RVD match in AEW, I don’t want to see him around on a regular basis, but if he can still have a passable match, as he has each time, he’s a good choice for nostalgia. The fans are going to react to everything he does and it’s not like he’s beating anyone of note. Not exactly a classic match, but this was designed to get RVD out there and nothing more.

Toni Storm’s new movie plays during the commercial.

Here are Sting and Darby Allin for a chat. Sting thanks Philadelphia for the memories and thanks Darby for being the best partner ever. He also thanks Tony Khan for making the phone call to let him grapple a bit more. Tony Schiavone talks about Sting vs. Ric Flair from the first Clash Of Champions and here is the special gift from Khan: Ric Flair.

We get the big entrance and Flair praises Sting for the Clash Of Champions match. Flair talks about how great and nice Sting is and hopes to stick around until Sting hangs it up in March. Cue Christian Cage and company to say this is Tony Khan’s gift to Sting: a suit, some gold chains and a black liver. Cage talks about how he wishes Flair was dead and mocks Allin for his injured arm.

After the required jokes about the Philadelphia Phillies, Cage challenges Sting/Allin/someone else to a six man at Full Gear but his music doesn’t play. Sting sneezes because he’s allergic to jackasses and accepts the challenge. Of course Flair is there. If you like him then you probably liked this, but I’ve been sick of him and everything he does for years now so this was a major disappointment despite being what I was expecting when the announcement was made.

Earlier today, Chris Jericho talked about how Powerhouse Hobbs took him apart and banged him up, but the real damage might have been to his ego. Now Jericho is thinking about some revenge, but he’ll need someone bigger than Hobbs. As luck would have it, he knows someone who fits that description and maybe it’s time to call them. JeriShow lives again?

Ring Of Honor Six Man Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks/Hangman Page vs. Hardys/Brother Zay

Zay and the Hardys are challenging and Zay is sent into the wrong corner to stat. Page comes in with a top rope clothesline before it’s off to Matt vs. Matt with Matt winning a slugout. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two and everything breaks down. The champs are sent to the floor as Matt Hardy and Zay do the Young Bucks’ pose and we take a break.

Back with Matt Jackson fighting out of trouble and bringing Page back in to clean house. Zay slips out of the Deadeye and the Silly String into the DDT plants Page. Everything breaks down and Zay hits a big flip dive onto Nick and Page. The Swanton gets two on Matt Jackson but the Bucks are back up with superkicks to the Hardys. The BTE Trigger finishes Zay to retain at 9:58.

Rating: C+. It’s almost hard to fathom how fast the Hardys have fallen through the floor in AEW. Nothing they do feels special and their matches are hardly worth seeing. Somehow they wind up getting one title shot after another though and that was the case again here, as the match was thrown out here. I’m sure the Hardys vs. the Bucks is still seen as a big deal in AEW’s eye, but it really wasn’t working great here.

Post match the champs celebrate but we get a video of Swerve Strickland and Prince Nana in Page’s house. Swerve rips up what appears to be a drawing from Page’s kid on the refrigerator, but then we move on to his kid’s room. Swerve talks about Page costing him a title shot and leaves a Mogul Embassy shirt in the crib, saying never forget.

Adam Copeland says he won’t fight Christian Cage but Darby Allin and Sting come in to say Copeland is missing what’s in front of him. Sting talks about having blinders on about people like Lex Luger and Ric Flair. Copeland needs to hear him and open his eyes.

Women’s Title: Ruby Soho vs. Hikaru Shida

Soho is challenging and takes Shida down to start. They fight over a rollup and roll around the ring until Shida gets two. Shida rains down right hands in the corner but Soho grabs No Future to send her to the floor as we take a break. Back with Shida winning a slugout and grabbing her torture rack drop.

With nothing else working, Soho grabs the spray paint and pretends that Shida blinded her. When that doesn’t work either, Soho grabs the belt as Shida has the paint…which only hits belt. The referee takes care of that and Destination Unknown gives Soho two. No Future connects but Shida hits a quick Katana for two. Shida manages to kick her into an exposed buckle and a bad Katana retains the title at 9:15.

Rating: C-. This really didn’t work, with way too much stuff going on involving the title and the paint, plus how bad that final Katana looked. Shida still feels like she is just kind of there, which means she almost has to face Toni Storm at some point in the near future. On the other hand you have Soho, who is still about where she was since her debut around here. Not a good match, and this was a rough sit.

Post match Toni Storm comes out for the staredown.

MJF is ready for Kenny Omega but here is Samoa Joe to offer to be his friend. All it costs is another shot at the title, with Joe saying he can wait for the answer. MJF is considering it.

Orange Cassidy/Kazuchika Okada vs. Bryan Danielson/Claudio Castagnoli

Cassidy and Danielson start things with Danielson taking over on the arm. Danielson pulls him down for the kick to the back before it’s off to Castagnoli vs. Okada. Castagnoli actually loses the slugout and Okada slams him down before handing it back to Cassidy. That’s fine with Castagnoli, who takes him into the corner for the tag off to Danielson. The chinlock goes on and we take a break.

Back with Cassidy fighting out of trouble and handing it off to Okada for the showdown with Danielson. They strike it out with Okada getting the better of things, setting up a running elbow. Another elbow in the corner sets up a DDT for two Danielson. Back up and some kicks stagger Okada but the LeBell Lock is blocked. Danielson flips over him out of the corner but they collide for the double knockdown.

Cassidy comes back in for the rapid fire kicks to Castagnoli, setting up the Stundog Millionaire. The tornado DDT hits Castagnoli with Okada making the save. The Orange Punch is pulled out of the air though and the Swing has Cassidy, uh, swinging. We hit the Scorpion Deathlock so Okada comes in for the save. Okada kicks him down and hits the top rope elbow but Cassidy hugs him in the middle of the Rainmaker pose. Danielson breaks it up but gets Orange Punched into the Rainmaker but Castagnoli uppercuts the heck out of Cassidy for the pin at 16:25.

Rating: B. Yeah this was good and I don’t think that is any kind of a surprise. Danielson vs. Okada was the draw here and they did about as well as you would have expected. At the same time, Cassidy vs. Castagnoli wound up being a fine showdown in its own right. Castagnoli getting an International Title shot could be quite the nice match as well, as this was a solid way to wrap up the show.

Post match Danielson is hurt so a bunch of people, including Hook and the Best Friends, come out to glare at each other. That’s kind of a weird ending, but it felt like a way to set up Danielson vs. Okada II at Wrestle Kingdom.

Overall Rating: C. I really wasn’t feeling this one as there were only a few good parts. The main event was by far the high point and the opening match/segment, while long, worked as well. The problem is pretty much everything else, with the Flair debut making the rest of the show feel down. There is a good chance that this is a one off miss, but I didn’t get into this one until the end and even that was watered down by the post match angle. Not a great week here, but that main event is worth a look.

Results
Maxwell Jacob Friedman b. Juice Robinson – Heatseeker
Hook/Rob Van Dam b. Dark Order – Redrum to Silver
Young Bucks/Hangman Page b. Hardys/Brother Zay – BTE Trigger to Zay
Hikaru Shida b. Ruby Soho – Katana
Bryan Danielson/Claudio Castagnoli b. Kazuchika Okada/Orange Cassidy – Uppercut to Cassidy

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Collision – September 23, 2023: They Can Stack A Show

Collision
Date: September 23, 2023
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

It’s time to wrap up another very busy week for AEW and it’s going to get even busier next week with WrestleDream. For now though, we have a big card with Ricky Starks vs. Bryan Danielson in a Texas Deathmatch and a triple threat match for the TNT Title. That should make for a nice night so let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Darby Allin, Christian Cage, Luchasaurus, Ricky Starks and Bryan Danielson are ready to fight.

Opening sequence.

TNT Title: Christian Cage vs. Darby Allin vs. Luchasaurus

Luchasaurus is defending but Cage has all but said this is a handicap match against Allin. For a bonus, Sting is barred from ringside. They start fast with Allin throwing powder at Luchasaurus and knocking Cage outside for a dive. Back in and Code Red gets two on Cage, followed by a dive onto Luchasaurus. Cage knocks Allin off the apron though and the beating is on, with Luchasaurus sending in a chair.

Back in and Cage chokes Allin on the chair and Luchasaurus suplexes Allin, with the chair flying away as well. Cage doesn’t like Luchasaurus going for the cover…and then gets a near fall of his own. Everyone goes outside and Allin is whipped hard into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Luchasaurus being sent outside so Cage can miss a spear in the corner. Allin and Cage trade rollups until Allin hits a Death Drop. The Coffin Drop to the floor hits both villains but Allin has t flip out of a chokeslam inside. The flipping Stunner works a bit better for Allin so Cage brings in the title. The shot misses so Allin dropkicks him into the corner.

One heck of a chokeslam cuts Allin down though and Luchasaurus FINALLY gets to pick up the title. Cage says hand it over and, after some yelling, gets what he wants. Allin rams them into each other though and belts Luchasaurus in the head for two. The Coffin Drop connects but Cage sends Allin outside and steals the pin on Luchasaurus for the title at 10:03.

Rating: B. That’s an interesting way to go, as so much of the appeal of Cage and Luchasaurus’ act was about Cage holding the title without being champion. At the same time, this might be a step too far for Luchasaurus, who certainly liked holding the title for a little while. That being said, as usual this was about Allin bouncing all over the place like a rubber ball and it made or a heck of a performance. Good match, and they advance the Cage/Luchasaurus story in a big way.

Post match Luchasaurus doesn’t look happy but gets a hug before having to carry Cage on his shoulders.

We look at Chris Jericho and Kenny Omega uniting to go after the Don Callis Family.

The Don Callis Family thinks Omega and Jericho teaming with Kota Ibushi will make Omega weak. They’ve got a third family member and it’s….Will Ospreay. The match is set for WrestleDream. Well that’s big.

Christian Cage talks about how he has always been the undisputed champion and dedicates it to Nick Wayne’s parents. He’s happy to be done with Darby Allin, but Tony Khan has announced Cage vs. Allin, 2/3 falls for WrestleDream.

Rob Van Dam/Hook vs. Angelo Parker/Matt Menard

Jake Hager and Anna Jay are here with Parker and Menard. Hook takes Menard down to start but it’s quickly off to Parker. Van Dam comes in and easily drops Parker, followed by a rollup for two on Menard. The springboard kick to the face sends Parker outside, giving us the YOU’VE STILL GOT IT chant as we take a break.

Back with Hook not being able to get over for the tag so he settles for a suplex to Parker. The tag brings Van Dam back in to kick away, setting up Rolling Thunder for two on Parker with Menard having to make the save. Hager tries to bring in the chair but gets Van Daminatored. Hook pulls Parker into Redrum and the Five Star Frog Splash finishes Menard at 8:20.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t great but what mattered here was getting Van Dam in there again for a nostalgia moment. Van Dam is still more than good enough to have an eight minute tag match and looked perfectly fine in there. Menard and Parker losing isn’t a big deal so this went about as well as it could have or a quick moment.

We look at Eddie Kingston winning the ROH World Title and now he’s going to defend it (plus the New Japan Strong Openweight Title) against Katsuyori Shibata at WrestleDream.

The Dark Order wants you.

The Kingdom don’t like the Best Friends for not keeping their friends NECK STRONG. Next week, it’s piledrivers in support of neck health.

Julia Hart vs. Kiera Hogan

Brody King is here with Hart and Hogan is taking an injured Willow Nightingale’s place. Hogan starts fast with a running hip attack against the rope but gets pulled down by the hair. A suplex lets Hart hammer away but Hogan is back up with some shots to the head. Hart knocks her down again and hits a standing moonsault to set up the chinlock. The sliding clothesline to the back of the head sets up Hartless to make Hogan tap at 3:35.

Rating: C. This was about as good as it was going to get as Hogan hasn’t been treated anything special and the real fight is with Nightingale. Hart gets to be built up a little more before the showdown. The match was little more than a squash and now we can get to the Nightingale match, whenever it happens.

Post match Hart goes after Hogan again until Skye Blue tries for the save. That earns Blue (who Hart beat last night) the mist so King can challenge Kris Statlander for the TBS Title at WrestleDream.

We look at the Righteous becoming #1 contenders to the Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles.

The Righteous walk through a garden and act all creepy, because that’s a totally new concept in wrestling.

Andrade El Idolo vs. Jay White

The rest of Bullet Club Gold is here with White. Andrade powers him into the corner to start and grabs a headlock. A shot off the top looks to set up Three Amigos but White slips out of the third. That’s fine with Andrade, who dropkicks him off the ropes and out to the floor. Back in and White knocks Andrade to the floor for a change and we take a break. Back with White taking him down for some shots to the chest.

They chop it out until Andrade snaps off some dragon screw legwhips. A flying forearm sends White into the corner and then out to the floor. Andrade hits a big moonsault onto the Club (and lands on his feet), followed by the double moonsault for two back inside. White knocks him outside and hits a swinging Rock Bottom for two, followed by a quickly broken chinlock.

Back up and Andrade drops him for two, setting up the running knees in the corner. The hammerlock DDT gets two as Juice Robinson puts a foot on the rope. A Figure Four keeps White in trouble and Andrade bridges up into the Figure Eight. That’s enough to bring in the Club for the distraction, allowing Robinson to deck Andrade. The Blade Runner finishes for White at 16:23.

Rating: B. These two had a heck of a match as this was Andrade being motivated and working hard in there to look good. At the same time though, White is on a roll right now and it’s cool to see him getting a big win like this one. This was rather awesome and I could go for more of both of them.

Ortiz talks about how Mike Santana has used him for years. Then Santana ran from his problems, but he won’t be able to run much longer.

Shane Taylor is made at Keith Lee leaving him in ROH, but Taylor became a legend there anyway. If he has to put Lee in the ground to take care of his kids, so be it. First though, Lee can face Lee Moriarty.

Tag Team Titles: FTR vs. Workhorsemen

FTR is defending and Aussie Open is on commentary. Wheeler and Henry take turns going to the mat with neither getting much of an advantage. Drake comes in to miss an elbow and it’s Harwood coming in to try a running shoulder. A running shot puts Harwood down for two and it’s back to Henry. That’s fine with Harwood, who plants him with a brainbuster. Drake cuts Wheeler off though and hits a Cannonball on Harwood. A moonsault gives Drake two and a forearm rocks Harwood again. Drake tries a middle rope hurricanrana but gets slammed out of the air. The Sharpshooter retains the titles at 4:34.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have time to go very far and that is about as good of an idea as they had here. No one was buying the Workhorsemen (though that moonsault was good) when the Aussies were already on commentary and talking about WrestleDream. I can go with these short form FTR title defenses, as having them go this long with teams like the Workhorsemen, who barely ever win anything, is a bit of a stretch.

Post match the Aussies get in the ring to talk about how they’re having this match to show they’re still the team that took FTR to the limit last year. That’s cool with Harwood, who wants the baddest team to come after them. Top guys out.

CJ (not Perry) is here to make her husband Miro a champion again but he’s preoccupied. Miro comes in to say CJ is his temptation. She talks about liking the challenge of guiding people, but she doesn’t need Miro to save her. It seems she’s going to find someone else to manage. Just stay away from her future clients. Miro walks off without saying anything.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Video on WrestleDream.

Ricky Starks vs. Bryan Danielson

Texas Deathmatch (Last Man Standing) and there is no Big Bill for a change. They go right at it to start with Danielson sending him outside for a dive. Starks gets crotched on the barricade and they fight into the crowd. Back to ringside and Starks sends him into the crowd again, setting up a big dive to talk out a pair of guards.

We take a break and come back with Starks sending him into the announcers’ table over and over. Starks cracks him in the knee with a chair and then drives it into the ribs. Danielson is busted open so Starks goes after the cut, which just fired Danielson up. Starks drops him again though and we take another break.

Back again with Starks hitting a spear and choking Danielson out with a chain. That’s good for nine but another spear is countered into the LeBell Lock. Danielson chokes with the chain as well but Starks fires up. Danielson elbow shim in the head over and over, followed by a running knee to send a chair into Starks’ face. Starks is bused open and Danielson stomps away. The running knee, with chain, finishes Stark at 20:06.

Rating: B. These two work well together and that should wrap up the feud, which never saw Starks beat Danielson in a singles match. For now though, it was a good fight with Danielson elevating Starks up a good bit. Danielson seems to be on his retirement tour though and if that means running someone over, it’s likely going to happen.

Post match Wheeler Yuta and Big Bill come out to check on their friends and almost get in a fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a stacked card and it mostly delivered with a trio of solid matches. I had a good time with the show and the White vs. Andrade match was a treat. They also rapid fired the build towards WrestleDream, which certainly needed it with about a week to go before the show. They might want to work on that in the future, but I have no reason to believe they actually will. For now though, rather strong Collision here, though I’m not sure they’re going to be able to have this strong of a card every week.

Results
Christian Cage b. Luchasaurus and Darby Allin – Coffin Drop to Luchasaurus
Rob Van Dam/Hook b. Matt Menard/Angelo Parker – Five Star Frog Splash to Menard
Julia Hart b. Kiera Hogan – Hartless
Jay White b. Andrade El Idolo – Blade Runner
FTR b. Workhorsemen – Sharpshooter to Drake
Bryan Danielson b. Ricky Starks – Running knee with a chain around the leg

 

 

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Dynamite – August 9, 2023: Look At It Again

Dynamite
Date: August 9, 2023
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Taz

We are less than three weeks away from All in and the show is starting to come together. The World Title match is now set and there are a few other matches that are all but official. Those matches should make for a nice foundation, but there are more matches that need to be added. Throw in All Out a week later and there is a lot of work to be done. Let’s get to it.

Here is Collision if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is the Jericho Appreciation Society, minus Chris Jericho, for a special meeting. Jericho is called to the ring and tries to calm things down. Daniel Garcia cuts him off and rants about how Jericho will never pick them. Garcia has done everything for him but he can’t do this so he’s out. Jake Hager says he’s known Jericho longer than any of them and while he liked his hat, he does NOT appreciate Jericho, so he’s out too. Tay Melo is feeling sick but it’s not because of the baby. She’ll be back in a year to be a champion without Jericho because she quits.

Anna Jay quits because Jericho is selfish and Angelo Parker talks about how he has given everything to Jericho, with nothing left to give. They’re both out, leaving Matt Menard and Sammy Guevara. Menard talks about using his first check to buy a Chris Jericho shirt. Then when his wife was 8 months pregnant and he didn’t have a job, Jericho heard his story and brought him underneath his wing. Menard gets why people he looked up to hate Jericho though and walks out. Guevara says he isn’t quitting, but once Jericho figures this out, maybe he’ll be around. Jericho has nothing to say and that’s the segment.

Post break Don Callis comes up to a distraught Jericho and says he’s sorry if he caused any of that. Jericho has an answer for Callis and they’ll announce it next week. Why not now?

Hardys vs. Young Bucks

Jeff takes over on Matt Jackson’s arm to start and the Hardys drop Nick onto his brother for a crash. Matt Hardy comes in and plants Matt Jackson for two. Nick makes a save and the Bucks get to clean house, including Risky Business to Matt Hardy. We take a break and come back with Matt Hardy fighting out of trouble and bringing Jeff back in for the house cleaning.

The Whisper In The Wind gets two on Nick Jackson but the Bucks superkick Jeff down. Something close to a 3D gets two but Matt Hardy breaks up the Meltzer Driver. The Swanton hits Matt Jackson with Nick making the save. Jeff loads up another Twist of Fate but gets his leg superkicked out, setting up the BTE Trigger to finish Matt Hardy at 11:10.

Rating: C+. First and foremost, this could have been FAR worse. There was a chance that this could have been a disaster but instead it was mostly fine. That being said, they were in a bind here as the match is billed as a dream match but they can’t do anything epic or even long with it because the Hardys are broken down. That left it as kind of stuck under a hard ceiling, but they did as well as they could.

Post match respect is shown before the Bucks call out FTR. Cue FTR and the match is official. Well that was quick.

There will be a tournament to set up a four way Women’s Title match at All In, though Toni Storm has cashed in her rematch clause and is automatically in. Who isn’t in you ask? Champion Hikaru Shida, who is defending in a first round match. This is overthinking something even by AEW standards.

Adam Cole and MJF bonded again, by going to a trampoline park. They also have video games, a ball pit (!) and dodgeball. MJF likes the idea of dodgeball and assaults some children (in slow motion), while yelling various insults such as “I slept with your mom” and “you’re adopted”. Cole comes up to say MJF can’t do this but a young girl says they must be nerds for being adults in a trampoline park. Cole has to hold MJF back, but one more insult lets MJF chuck the ball at her as well. This was so ridiculously over the top that it was hilarious.

We recap the Blackpool Combat Club being all violent recently.

The Blackpool Combat Club is happy to have hurt the Best Friends and Pac.

FTW Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Perry

Perry, in Jerry Lynn style gear, is defending under FTW Rules (pretty much anything goes and falls count anywhere). Perry jumps him to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Van Dam knocks him out to the floor and the spinning legdrop to the apron CRUSHES Perry, with commentary laughing at how hard it hit.

We take a break and come back with Perry missing Rolling Thunder and getting kicked in the face. There are a bunch of chairs in the ring (one in the corner) and a table set up at ringside as Van Dam monkey flips Perry. The dropkicked chair into the corner hits Perry and Rolling Thunder onto the chair gets a delayed two.

The split legged moonsault misses (mainly because Perry moved before Van Dam flipped) but Perry’s thrown chair hits the referee in the head. Perry catches Van Dam on top but gets sent through the table on the floor. Back in and the Five Star (not bad) hits Perry for no count. Another referee comes in for the count but Perry sends Van Dam into the chair in the corner and gets the pin at 9:22.

Rating: C+. The weapons stuff was a bit annoying but it does fit with the ECW theme. Van Dam was the only real option to make this work, but this needs to be the absolute end of the ECW stuff. It didn’t exactly look great to start with and there is pretty much no one else who is going to be interesting and able to have a decent match from ECW’s past. The match itself was perfectly decent, though they got out exactly when they should have.

The Lucha Bros promise revenge on the Blackpool Combat Club.

Here are Adam Cole and MJF for a chat. MJF has seen something about footage of him saying that everyone in the midwest is dead but that footage was HEAVILY doctored. May God strike him down dead if what he is saying isn’t true, but his favorite place in the country is the midwest! Cole and MJF cringe but MJF survives, leaving Cole to promise to take the World Title at All In. MJF: “So you want a little promo battle eh? OK!”

MJF goes on to say that Cole is so skinny and white that if he had been around in the 80s, Hogan would have snorted him. Cole says that’s NOT what he wanted, because he thinks they want the Tag Team Titles. Er, the Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles in this case. Cole talks about how much he’s done in Ring Of Honor over the years and what it means to him, but he has never won the Tag Team Titles. They already have the World Title match, but on the All In Zero Hour, they should win the Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles!

MJF: “Normally when someone wants to make me wrestle more than once a year, I want to stab them in the face with a soldering iron.” He’s a sucker for a cheap pop though so he’s in. The challenge is officially on. Cue Roderick Strong to say he should be winning the titles with Cole, but MJF goes on a rant about how Strong needs to go listen to some Taylor Swift and shake it off. Strong says the Kingdom was right and here they are to leave with him. MJF laughs at Strong so Cole snaps, with MJF telling Cole to go check on him. Strong just looks so, so lame in all of this. Even if it is a swerve from Cole, my goodness it’s pathetic.

Video on Collision.

Lucha Bros vs. Blackpool Combat Club

The Bros jump them from behind to start and the big flip dives connect as the bell rings. Fenix’s rolling cutter into Penta’s top rope double stomp gets two and Made In Japan gets two on Castagnoli. Fenix adds a high crossbody but the stereo superkicks only hits the others’ foot. Moxley comes in to clean house as everything breaks down in a hurry. Wheeler Yuta belts Fenix and it’s a gorilla press into Moxley’s cutter for two. We settle down to Castagnoli working on Fenix’s arm and we take a break.

Back with Fenix chopping up but getting dropped with a spike piledriver. Castagnoli picks Fenix up into an electric chair but Fenix drops back to avoid the Doomsday Device. Fenix rolls over for the tag to Penta so house can be cleaned. Fenix’s superkick gets two as everything breaks down. Moxley hits a cutter (third of the match) and everyone is down for a bit.

Castagnoli and Fenix strike it out from their knees and then their feet until Fenix hits his rebound spinning kick to the face. Penta and Moxley come in to chop it out (for a long time) until the Fear Factor hits Moxley. The spike Fear Factor is broken up but Wheeler Yuta tries to interfere, only to get cut off by Alex Abrahantes. Moxley uses the distraction to roll Penta (who got unmasked somewhere in there) up with tights for the pin at 13:02.

Rating: B-. This was the all action match that you might have expected and it felt like one of those beat on each other until someone gets a pin rather than building up a match deals. That’s the Lucha Bros’ specialty and the match did well, but sometimes it’s nice to see a traditional match for once. Oh and again with the mask being ripped off, because that’s almost required in half of the Lucha Bros matches.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Castagnoli putting on Penta’s mask for a bizarre look.

Kenny Omega will be sitting down with Jim Ross next week to talk about what he’ll be doing at All In.

Here is Swerve Strickland, with the Mogul Embassy, for a chat. They went to Seattle to prove a point last week because they are above the law. AR Fox wants Darby Allin out here right now so cue Allin, saying he wants the whole story. Allin lived with Fox and his demons, but now Fox has some new friends. Well Allin has friends of his own, so the lights go out and Sting is back. Everyone but Sting and Swerve leave, allowing Sting to bat Swerve in the ribs. Sting (who appears to have a bit of the Joker face paint) points to the All In sign. That’s an escalation.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Sting/Allin vs. Fox/Swerve (in a coffin match) is officially approved by Tony Khan for All In. So did Tony Khan just have nothing planned for All In and is letting the wrestlers book the show for him?

Women’s Title: Anna Jay vs. Hikaru Shida

Jay, with Angelo Parker and Matt Menard, is challenging but this is also a first round match in the tournament to set up the Women’s Title match at All In. Shida shoves her down to start and they fight up against the ropes. A jumping knee staggers Jay but she manages to kick Shida to the floor. Then she throws Shida back inside for two and we take an early break.

Back with Shida hammering away and knocking Jay outside. The clothesline off the chair is broken up by Parker and Jay sends her face first into the steps. Anna gets the Queenslayer back inside but Shida climbs the rope and crashes back down for the break. A Falcon Arrow gets two, followed by the Katana to retain the title at 8:44, despite Parker trying to interfere and somehow failing.

Rating: C. This whole tournament is rather high up there on the list of Things AEW Has Overthought. We’re having a tournament to set up a four way title match and the champion has to qualify but the person she beat doesn’t. I’m sure there’s some logic in there and I’d rather it not be allowed to get out. The match itself was just ok, as Jay isn’t someone you want to try to have a big showdown. Shida held it together well enough though and they got out of there pretty fast.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place and rather unfocused. They added stuff to All In, but it felt like a show that just had one thing after another put on the card with nothing feeling overly important. It also doesn’t help that the first hour of this show was primarily dedicated to Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam and the Hardys. That’s a heck of a tag match on a late WWF Raw but here it doesn’t quite measure up. The show was far from bad, but it needed a second or third draft to tighten up a lot of things.

Results
Young Bucks b. Hardys – BTE Trigger to Matt
Jack Perry b. Rob Van Dam – Van Dam was sent into a chair
Blackpool Combat Club b. Lucha Bros – Rollup with tights to Penta El Cero Miedo
Hikaru Shida b. Anna Jay – Katana

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2014 (2015 Redo): So Much For Cena

Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,079
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Time for a redo of a show with a main event billed as the Biggest Fight of the Summer. The more I think of that line, the more I like it. The main event here is Cena (subbing for the injured Bryan) defending against Brock Lesnar, who is having his first match since breaking the Streak. Interestingly enough, I don’t even remember another match from this card. Let’s get to it.

I usually don’t say anything on the pre-show, but my goodness Renee Young is stunning. I know you often hear about the Divas looking great, but she is just beautiful, especially in a nice red dress here.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

No real story here. Rob rolls out of a wristlock to start and we hit the ECW chants. My goodness there’s other stuff to cheer over people. Cesaro is sent to the floor and Rob slips a bit on his dive but still manages to kick Cesaro down and hit Rolling Thunder on the outside. Back in and Cesaro simplifies stuff by just pummeling Van Dam in the corner before throwing him down with the gutwrench suplex.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock as the announcers give us one final hype for Cena vs. Lesnar. Rob fights up for a rolling cradle and the split legged moonsault for two, followed by a superkick to put Cesaro back on the floor. This is Van Dam 101 here, which was the biggest criticism he faced during this time. The Five Star is broken up by a big uppercut but Rob is still able to block a superplex.

That earns him another uppercut though because Cesaro is pesky like that. Van Dam shoves him down again but Cesaro hits the third straight uppercut, only to be shoved down yet again. Rob is finally able to dive…..right into an uppercut of course. This time it’s Cesaro kicking Rob in the face for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and Van Dam hits his quick step over kick, followed by the Five Star for the pin at 8:06.

Rating: C-. The uppercut sequence was nice but like I said, Van Dam was just doing high spots here and nothing else. That was the case for most of his 2014 run and that’s not really doing anything for him at this point. Cesaro was just wandering around at this point, which makes his Wrestlemania battle royal win feel like the biggest waste of a rub in recent history, which is really covering a lot of ground.

In a sign of the times, Hulk Hogan is brought out to open the show. Well to be fair it worked really well at Wrestlemania XXX so this isn’t the worst idea in the world. He thinks it’s appropriate for Hollywood Hogan to open the show here in Los Angeles and talks about how amazing Summerslam really is. This turns into a commercial for the Network, all while Hogan’s video is playing behind him. Hogan hits the catchphrase and he’s out in less than three minutes. This was fine and got the crowd fired up while also plugging something. Well done.

The opening video is in the theme of an old 1980s action movie trailer (Follow the Buzzards Productions) with the usual previews for the main events, but with everyone’s nickname instead of their actual name. I really liked this as a movie geek and it holds up quite well a year later.

It’s a shame that the curse of the standardized sets has hit Summerslam as well. It’s the second biggest show of the year. Mix that stuff up people.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and has the Hollywood star gimmick. I still really like his work in this and still find him to be one of the better done characters. Before the match, Miz talks about being real instead of CGI and brags about how jealous you all should be of the moneymaker. Tonight he’s going to make Ziggler the WWE version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Ice Bucket Challenge, back when that was still a thing.

The threat of a superkick sends Miz bailing to the floor as we hear about the Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel match from Summerslam 1992 where it was agreed that neither would hit the other in the face. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Dolph but he gets whipped chest first into the corner as Miz takes over. With his variety of stomps used up, Miz kicks Dolph hard in the face before slapping on a chinlock.

The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle, but you could say the same thing about Ziggler so it’s not really clear. Dolph punches him out of the air and hits a Stinger Splash before a rollup gets two more. Now the superkick connects with the moneymaker for two so we get the required attempt at bailing, only to have Dolph baseball slide him down.

Somehow that earns Ziggler a Figure Four (because Miz needed a submission hold and it’s always a good thing to pay tribute to Flair, who won SO many major matches with that hold right?) but Dolph is in the ropes. His leg is fine enough for a Fameasser but Miz pops to his feet for the Skull Crushing Finale before he starts to sell. The kickout shocks Miz again but he misses another running boot, allowing Dolph to score with the Zig Zag for the pin and the title at 7:57.

Rating: C-. These two don’t have any kind of special chemistry but they would fight each other for the better part of eternity because WWE doesn’t know how to set up anything fresh more than once every few months. Ziggler winning the title gave the fans a nice moment but there was nothing to the match.

We recap the latest part of the RIVETING Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon feud where Stephanie brought Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist to say she and Bryan had an affair, leading to Brie slapping the therapist and getting arrested, just as she had done to Stephanie a few weeks earlier. The affair stuff was so hated that they dropped it pretty much the next day.

Brie talks about doing a bunch of reflecting while she was in jail where she thought about Stephanie torturing Nikki while Brie was gone, how she insulted Bryan and how she paid the therapist to lie about an affair. She’s going to take out the beast tonight because that’s best for business. Oh dear I think I’m going to have something to say about this.

Divas Title: Paige vs. AJ Lee

Paige is challenging and they’ve been feuding for most of the summer with AJ returning and winning the title, causing Paige to start imitating her for reasons that still aren’t clear. They’re friends and enemies at the same time (yes I know there’s a word that combines the two and no I won’t use it) so Paige offers a handshake, only to have AJ rip some of her hair out. AJ stays all aggressive (Heaven help me if I say the other word about her) and sends Paige onto the announcers’ table, only to have Paige come back with a knee to the ribs.

The champ gets dropped onto the barricade but Paige realizes she can’t win the title via countout. Back in and we get Paige’s sexy crawl over AJ before she pulls her own hair extensions out. Well no one ever accused Paige of being normal. The chinlock on AJ goes nowhere and she’s able to shove Paige off the top, though she’s nice enough to blow her a kiss first.

A top rope clothesline to the floor drops Paige again. The Shining Wizard gets two but Paige kicks her in the face, only to have the Paige Turner countered into the Black Widow. Just like at the Raw after Wrestlemania though, Paige powers out again and scores with the Rampaige for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was similar to the Divas version of Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect back at Summerslam 1993 where they basically guaranteed a classic but just had a good match instead. This was one of the last good feuds before Nikki took over the title in a few months, which we’re somehow still surviving nine months later. Lucky us.

Summerslam 2015 will be in New York/New Jersey. That would be slightly changed to Brooklyn

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Speaking of things still going on later, these two are still having the same match the following summer. This is also a flag match, meaning a regular match with the winner getting their flag raised. Lana (rocking the white suit here) and Zeb Colter (remember him?) are the seconds. Before the match, Lana says that Hollywood is a great example of everything wrong with America. In real life, there is no happy ending and America is full of worthless cowards.

Swagger counters with members of the US Army Color Guard to present the American flag. Rusev jumps Jack before the bell and the American flag falls, which is a big sign of disrespect. Swagger counters into a Patriot Lock as we’re still waiting on the bell. The referee breaks it up so Lana orders Rusev to his feet. Now the bell rings and Jack goes after the leg and ankle again.

Rusev bails to the floor so Swagger, showing some fire for a change, follows him out with a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb hits knees though, which really should hurt the bad leg but why bother with logic? Jack happens to have bad ribs coming in so Rusev has his own target now. With the leg breaking down, Rusev opts for a bearhug, meaning he has to stay on his feet anyway. Jack can’t belly to belly his way to freedom but his second attempt works a bit better.

The Vader Bomb connects but hurts Jack’s ribs all over again. Rusev’s superkick is caught in the Patriot Lock but Rusev is quickly out, only to walk into a powerslam for two. The second superkick connects and the Accolade (on one leg) goes on, only to be countered into the Patriot Lock. Rusev kicks out of that as well, spinwheel kicks Jack down, and Accolades him again for the knockout victory.

Rating: C. This is a tricky one to grade, as yet again, since these guys have fought roughly a dozen times, I never once believed Rusev was in trouble. That being said, they did a good job here of using the ankle injury to try to add some drama. It’s a very difficult thing to do when there is almost zero doubt as to who is winning, but they gave it a good try.

The problem for these two is they’re still fighting on occasion and it never gets any closer for Jack. That’s something WWE is really bad about: they don’t understand that fans don’t want to see the same obvious match over and over again but that’s what we get because there’s no one other than Swagger (or Henry) to take these losses. Bring back unknown jobbers or something, because they have about the same chance of winning and would at least feel fresh for a change.

Rusev attacks Colter post match and the Russian flag comes down.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose, which is Dean’s first attempt for revenge on Seth after Rollins broke up the Shield over the summer. Seth ran a lot previously but tonight it’s time for a lumberjack match so Dean can finally get his hands on him.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Most of the lumberjacks were attacked by Rollins and the Shield at some point in the last year and a half. Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s a slugout as soon as they’re both in the ring with Dean taking over and knocking Rolling outside. That goes as badly as you would expect for Rollins so he goes back inside for something a bit safer: Ambrose ripping at his nose. This time it’s Dean being sent outside for a beating but some guys hold the attackers back.

Now it’s Rollins in control for a bit so Ambrose just punches him in the face. He goes up top for no logical reason (to be fair he’s supposed to be crazy) and gets caught in the Tree of Woe as Seth really takes over. A chinlock doesn’t go very far as Dean is sent to the apron, only to suplex Rollins over the top and out onto the lumberjacks in a big crash. The whole thing turns into a war with Dean backdropping Rollins over the barricade.

Dean dives onto the lumberjacks because he’s nuts and then down the announcers’ tables to get to Rollins in the crowd. This is more like what the match should have been and it’s about time they got to it. They fight into the balcony as Kane comes down to tell the lumberjacks to do their job. Bo Dallas stops Rollins from powerbombing Dean off the balcony so Seth runs towards the entrance but gets caught by Stardust, Big E. and the Usos.

Rollins is literally carried back to the ring but Dean is waiting on them with a huge dive off the top. Back in and Dirty Deeds is countered but Ambrose blasts him with the rebound lariat. NOW the crowd is way into things and Dean curb stomps Seth, only to have Kane come in for the save. The lumberjacks get in another fight because they all have anger management issues. Dean dispatches the Wyatts but walks into a briefcase shot to the face for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is one where your opinions may vary wildly and I’m not going to put up much of an argument either way. There were only so many ways that they mess with the idea to keep the lumberjack gimmick going (which fit the story) while also being insane. Good, insane brawl here and that’s what it needed to be.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt, which started because Bray decided it was time and didn’t like Jericho calling himself a savior. Jericho beat Wyatt clean at Battleground in a stupid decision so tonight the Family is barred from ringside. I have no idea why they thought this would make me interested in seeing it again but it’s better than another gimmick match.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

The fireflies are still so cool looking. Bray goes right after him to start and they’re quickly on the floor with Jericho stepping over Bray’s hat. That’s polite of him. Jericho gets shoved to the floor as the announcers start reading Tweets. I know the match isn’t the most thrilling story in the world but come on. A running knee sends Jericho’s head into the steps and Bray drives him into the post for good measure.

Back inside and we hit the chinlock, because no matter how insane or unconventional someone is, they make sure to throw on a chinlock. Like everyone has ever done, Jericho fights out with ease and gets one off an enziguri. Jericho’s dropkick stops a charging Bray but he walks into the release Rock Bottom for two. Sister Abigail is countered into the Walls but Bray gets a rope (unlike in NXT where he tapped to the Walls years ago).

Bray goes to the middle rope so Jericho can hurricanrana him back down for a delayed two. I’m never a fan of people going up just so someone can hit them with a move. It’s a stretch of the suspension of disbelief. Bray spiders up and says that he can’t die because he is already dead. Jericho breaks his code for two and Bray slides outside where he smacks Jericho in the face, setting up Sister Abigail into the barricade. Back in and another Sister Abigail is enough to give Bray the pin.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t really feeling this one as it’s a match that Bray was supposed to win and then did. He was still trying to recover from the huge blow of losing the feud to Cena and losing the first match to Jericho really didn’t do him any favors. The match was nothing to see either as Jericho was starting to run on fumes again here. This would have been so much more effective if Jericho hadn’t won the first match.

Bray serenades us post match.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon, which was a recap I needed when I watched this show live as the whole thing was such a mess. So Stephanie was all evil to Daniel Bryan, but Bryan is on the shelf with his neck injury so the feud was transferred over to Brie, because Brie and Bryan are totally the same thing.

Stephanie threatened to fire Brie but Brie quit first, leaving Stephanie to torture Nikki by putting her in handicap matches against such devastating forces as Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Cameron and Eva Marie. Yes, this was really supposed to be intimidating. Brie and Stephanie sued each other over slapping each other because that’s what this feud needed. Then Brie offered to drop the charges in exchange for a match with Stephanie at Summerslam, because that’s how wrestling works.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

This is Stephanie’s first match in ten years and the announcers act like it’s Bruno vs. Hogan. We immediately get to the point as Stephanie comes out in something that looks like a superhero outfit with skin tight leather that shows off every inch of her figure. Oh and of course she throws the Four Horsewomen sign to Ronda Rousey and the other three women whose names no one knows (in the front row when Rousey was just starting to make noise as a big time star) because Stephanie is cool like that.

The announcers swoon over Stephanie like it’s Trish in 2000 and then give Brie a polite response. That’s the match right there: Brie looks good while Stephanie looks amazing and it’s entirely by design. Stephanie shoves Brie against the ropes to start and blows her a kiss. Brie gets back up and can barely do a lockup properly. Some shoulders in the corner have Brie in more trouble as the announcers try to act like Brie is some big physical threat while also pointing out that Stephanie has long legs.

The big slap is blocked though and the threat of a YES Lock sends Stephanie outside, likely out of fear due to how bad Brie made the hold look on Raw a few weeks back. Brie’s suicide dive is blocked by a forearm to the face and it’s Stephanie in control again. Stephanie talks trash and busts out a Hennig neck snap, drawing a YOU STILL GOT IT (shut up. Stephanie never had it in the ring in the first place. Think before you chant) and even more praise from the announcers.

Stephanie cranks on both arms as Brie has been on offense for all of fifteen seconds so far. An evil look that would make Edge jealous looks to set up….something, but Brie comes back with a Thesz press and the YES Kicks in the corner. Well close enough to them as she can’t get the timing right because the one spot that is going to get her a cheer is too complicated for her.

The middle rope dropkick gets two on Stephanie and Brie follows up with some of the absolute worst punches I have ever seen. I mean even Lita’s horrible punches (go back and watch her matches. She’s one of the most athletic women in wrestling history but she couldn’t throw a good punch to save her life) look great compared to these. HHH comes out but Nikki is here as well because those two are so equal. The Pedigree is countered into whatever Brie calls her imitation of the YES Lock because that’s not the hold her husband uses.

HHH pulls the referee out anyway, which shocks Cole for some reason. I have no idea why Cole is switching sides so fast because he’s spent the last ten minutes praising Stephanie. Brie baseball slides HHH and does the YES chant, only to have Nikki come in….and turn on Brie because that’s the least logical and worst idea they could go with for this story. Stephanie Pedigrees Brie for the pin.

Rating: D+. Where do I even start with this one? First and foremost: Brie Bella is a horrible wrestler. She’s a beautiful woman, she’s found the right look for herself with the ripped tights and shirt tied around her waist and she can clap on the floor, but she just does not have it in the ring. Some of the stuff in here was Eva Marie level work with those punches and the inability to do a lockup properly just being unforgivable.

On top of that, this is the wrong story. After the months and months of the Authority tormenting the Bellas, they win here in the end with Brie getting squashed until a quick comeback at the end, only to have it all taken away from her again so we can get to the Bella feud that no one other than the Total Divas producers wanted to see. Nikki turning on Brie would lead to the “I wish you died in the womb” nonsense that went on forever and was then just dropped, but I spent a three months ranting about that so I’ll cut myself off for now. Brie should have won here, no matter how bad she looked in the ring.

That gets us to the final point: this match was ALL about Stephanie. Brie was just the person in the ring to bounce off of her as Stephanie got to look great (both mechanically and physically. I know she gets a lot of flack, but Stephanie can rock some tight outfits) out there and even had the crowd cheering for her. That praise was well deserved though as Stephanie was as polished here as any Diva had been since probably Mickie James but, as is always the case, Stephanie has to look great and can’t get any comeuppance. In this case though, she deserves a lot of praise because this was one heck of a performance.

Some fan won a contest and got to make a character called Mama’s Boy, complete with some training. He even got to make an entrance at NXT, to the Hurricane’s old theme song for some reason. Eh cute enough.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This is due to Reigns costing Orton a title shot and Reigns’ first big solo match. I like the blue trim on Reigns’ attire but it can be a bit distracting. Orton goes right at him to start and is quickly headbutted out to the floor. Some right hands and a clothesline put Orton outside again but he sends Reigns into the steps and takes it back inside for a chinlock. This isn’t exactly thrilling stuff so far. We hit the Garvin Stomp followed by a nice top rope superplex for two. I love a good superplex.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Reigns counters into a rear naked choke of all things. See, why doesn’t he do stuff like that more often today? There’s more to life than clotheslines. Orton falls backwards to escape and we’re right back to the chinlock. Orton isn’t exactly giving Reigns much to work with here. The Samoan drop gives Roman a breather and he jacks Randy’s jaw to set up the apron kick. Lawler: “Reigns kicked the Kryptonite out of him!”

Orton whips him into the barricade to take over again though and drops him onto the announcers’ table to keep Roman in trouble. Back in again and Reigns punches his way back into it (shocking I know), followed by a super Samoan drop for two more. The Superman Punch knocks Orton silly but he counters the spear into one heck of a powerslam. That looked great.

The Orton DDT gets two but Reigns gets up for another Superman Punch, only to dive into the RKO for a very near fall. Randy is livid so he loads up the Punt, which is about the dumbest thing you can do against someone who uses the spear for a finisher. Well that’s how it should have ended but instead Reigns just moves away from the Punt and then the spear is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be a huge turning point for Reigns’ career but it came off as just an ok match with some good moments. The first seven to eight minutes really dragged this down as the chinlocks took the crowd out of things. Now to their credit, Orton and Reigns were able to get them back later on but this needed some tweaks to really make it work. It’s Reigns’ biggest win yet but it really wasn’t anything great.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar. The idea is Cena beat Lesnar two and a half years ago when Lesnar returned, but since then Lesnar has reached his full Beast Mode and is the unstoppable monster. Cena is pretty clearly a fill in for the injured Daniel Bryan, who would have made for a better story here. They really aren’t hiding the fact that Lesnar is going to win the title here but you know Cena isn’t going down without a fight.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. They do the big staredown across the ring before the bell and we get one of my favorite Cole lines: “It’s the biggest fight of the summer.” I know that was the tagline going into this match but I love his delivery there. Before we get started, awesome sign in the crowd: “Cena wins, we logically discuss on Twitter.” Cena charges right at him but gets taken down to the mat…..and the F5 connects at thirty seconds. I actually screamed “NO WAY! NO WAY!” when I saw that for the first time.

Lesnar shouts that Cena just had his one chance and I think everyone in the building believes him. Cena looks totally out of it and we’re 90 seconds into this. The first release German suplex sends Cena flying and the fans are just stunned. German #2 has Cena’s mouth hanging open and the replay makes it look even worse. Cena wildly swings but only hits the mat.

A quick drive into the corner and some shots to the ribs just annoy Lesnar as he knees Cena to the mat and slaps on a chinlock so Cena can remember what planet he’s on. More punches from Cena are stopped by a knee as this is even more dominant than I remembered. Four more Germans (six total, counting a snap that I didn’t mention) have Cena a crippled mass in the middle of the ring. Lesnar drives even more knees into the ribs and pulls Cena up so he can throw another German.

The referee FINALLY checks on Cena, who says he’ll have two eggs and sausage. John goes flying off another German but elbows out of the next and gets in some right hands and a clothesline, followed by an AA for two. That seems like Cena’s last gasp though and he can’t follow up. Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up…..and starts laughing. He tells Cena to get out of the corner and bring it on while bouncing back and forth on his feet. Cena charges and gets taken down and pounded in the head.

Cena can’t even move on the mat but tells the referee to let it keep going. Lesnar is ticked off at Cena not quitting so he rolls four straight German suplexes, earning what sounds like applause. He still won’t quit, so there are three more rolling Germans. With Brock standing over him, Cena sweeps the leg and puts on the STF but Brock rolls over and just unloads on him with right hands. The F5 finally ends the slaughter and gives Brock the title.

Rating: A+. This was hard to watch. Not hard in the WCW or TNA hard to watch way, but in the “that’s enough, stop this before Cena dies” hard to watch way. This was a complete squash that ran 16:14. In that span of time, and this is being VERY generous at times, Cena was on offense for 1:22. That’s including the opening where they were grappling on the mat and the time where Cena was trying to break Brock’s grip.

Above all else though, this match did what it was supposed to do, which is make Brock Lesnar look like the biggest monster this side of Godzilla. This wasn’t a technical masterpiece or anything, but the fact that it got this kind of emotion out of me is doing something right. Outstanding performance and Cena selling so well made it even better.

Cena is checked on and can’t move to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Something occurred to me as I was getting ready for this show: I didn’t remember anything about it other than the main event. I can tell you the main event for all of the big four shows and every In Your House off the top of my head, but I had no idea that Orton and Reigns had a match here. Looking back, it’s easy to see why. Other than Lesnar vs. Cena, nothing on here is anything outside of the average range. Almost all of the redo ratings are in the middle of the pack and nothing else is memorable. It’s a watchable show, but totally forgettable, which isn’t something you should say about Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

AJ Lee vs. Paige

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Original: C+

Redo: C

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C-

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Original: C

Redo: B-

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C+

…what? I mean just…..what? That overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense. Other than Brie vs. Stephanie and maybe Orton vs. Reigns, nothing really changed drastically, but it went from great to above average? I REALLY got into that Lesnar vs. Cena match the first time around. That original rating actually made my eyes bug out when I read it to see what I had originally given the show.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/17/summerslam-2014-on-the-a-list/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2019 Redo): One Of The Classics

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Post match Cena hands him the title and leaves, likely straight to the hospital to get that thing out of his arm. The confetti falls and pyro goes off….and here’s Randy Orton with the other Money in the Bank briefcase, because we needed two of them. Orton does the big staredown, teases leaving, turns back around…and HHH lays Bryan out with the Pedigree to turn full heel.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Summerslam Count-Up – 2003 (2018 Redo): HHH. Again.

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.