Best Of The WWF Volume XI
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick, Bobby Heenan
Host: Gene Okerlund

So this is a series of VHS tapes (twenty in total) that the WWF put out in the 80s, mainly comprised of a bunch of house show matches and some other things. That makes for some interesting selections as you never know what you might be seeing. These things can be anywhere between a blast or a disaster so let’s get to it.

Gene Okerlund welcomes us to the tape and previews some of the bigger matches.

From New York City, New York, January 19, 1987.

Can-Am Connection vs. Dream Team

Okerlund’s intro talks about how this match previews the issues between the Dream Team that would lead to their split at Wrestlemania III so this was likely released in the spring of 1987. Martel works on Valentine’s arm to start and armdrags him down, with a legdrop to the arm keeping Valentine in trouble. Back up and Valentine misses an elbow, allowing Zenk to hit a dropkick dropkick to send him back into the armbar.

The Dream Team’s manager Johnny V grabs the mic to promise a quick Dream Team victory, even as Beefcake comes in to miss an elbow. An atomic drop sends Beefcake into the corner, followed by one to Valentine as well. Martel comes back in to stay on the arm but Beefcake finally gets him into the corner. Valentine’s middle rope forearm sets up Beefcake’s backbreaker for two, with Zenk having to make the save.

Beefcake grabs a chinlock (with his tongue sticking out for some reason) for a bit until Martel fights up for two off a backslide. That’s cut off by Valentine but Martel makes a heck of a slugging comeback (that looked great). Valentine sends him into the corner though and gets in a knee to the back as Martel is in trouble again. A suplex from Valentine sets up a bearhug from Beefcake, causing Martel to shake a lot. It’s back to Valentine to send him into the corner for two but Martel crawls between the legs for the tag off to Zenk.

House is cleaned for a bit but Zenk charges into a clothesline from Beefcake to cut that off in a hurry. The abdominal stretch goes on for a bit before Beefcake gives him an atomic drop. Martel gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s a double belly to back suplex to Zenk. The Figure Four goes on as Martel is taken out on the floor, only to come back in with a slingshot splash to pin Valentine at 17:57 shown (apparently out of 18:36 so they didn’t clip much at the beginning).

Rating: B+. Yeah this was rather good stuff and it’s easy to see why the Connection was becoming the hottest team in the company around this time. They’re the definition of white meat stars and the fans loved what they were doing. The amazing thing is that it got even better when they evolved into Strike Force. For now though, it worked very well.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1986.

Kamala vs. George Steele

Please be short? Maybe? Kamala is messed up by all of the booing to start and they stall for a good minute. Kim Chee’s distraction lets Kamala get in some chops so Steele bails to the floor. Back in and Steele stomps on the bare toes, allowing him to hammer away in the corner. Steele has to go after the Wizard (because Kamala has two managers), who sends in his horn. A shot to the back knocks Steele silly and it’s a splash, followed by a top rope splash, to give Kamala the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D. You know, I’m not even mad at that. The action (and there was just so much of it) was squeezed into about two minutes, which included two people interfering and a weapon shot. Of course it’s terrible, but it’s a case where they’re in and out so fast that it’s not even worth getting annoyed.

Post match Kamala gets in another splash, adding about 10% to the total amount of offense.

From the same show.

Here is Roddy Piper for a live Piper’s Pit. He’s not used to being cheered (that’s an understatement) but he’s still the same son of a b**** he’s always been. We’re clipped to Paul Orndorff and Bobby Heenan (the guests) having a conference in the corner and Piper saying Orndorff needs a partner. Heenan: “I don’t need you to make a fool of me Piper.

Heenan picks Harley Race to team with Orndorff and we’re clipped again to Piper needing a partner of his own. Piper talks to his non-existent (or maybe invisible) manager, with Heenan not liking this. VLADIMIR THE SUPER FAN of all people gets on the apron, suggesting that Piper team up with Hulk Hogan. Orndorff absolutely loses it as Piper hits Heenan in the eye with the mic and leaves.

From the same show.

Harley Race/Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan/Roddy Piper

This should be good and Bobby Heenan is here too. The double brawl is on to start with the villains being cleared out. Hogan and Piper tease fighting but just tear their shirts off so Hogan can pick Piper up and swing him at the other two. Piper works on Race’s arm and reluctantly hands it off to Hogan for a middle rope ax handle.

Hogan and Piper take turns kicking at the arm, with Hogan looking at Piper like “I could get used to this”. Race starts to get over to Orndorff but Piper pulls him back for a lot of twisting and another staredown tag (a running theme) brings Hogan back inside. Race finally gets in a shot to Piper and Orndorff comes in for the elbow drop.

It’s already back to Race to drop an elbow, which brings Hogan in for the save. A powerslam drops Piper and it’s back to Orndorff, with Hogan running in for the save. This time it’s actually enough for Piper to get over for the tag to Hogan. The legdrop hits Race but Orndorff makes the save (after a weird camera cut to the crowd). Hogan goes after Heenan and Orndorff clotheslines Race by mistake, giving Piper the pin at 8:16.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a house show tag match with no combination being dull. The best part was of course Hogan and Piper not trusting each other but wanting to be all manly and staring the other down. This was a very fun and entertaining match, as you knew it would be the second it was announced.

Post match the brawl is on again and Hogan is left on his own, only to fight them all off without much trouble. Piper is….I have no idea actually.

From New York City, New York, February 23, 1987 (the intro says January 26, 1987 but the company wasn’t in New York that day) for Piper’s MSG farewell.

Randy Savage/Harley Race/Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper/Junkyard Dog/Ricky Steamboat

Elimination tag and one heck of a Wrestlemania preview. Piper and Savage start things off but Piper hands it off to Steamboat, with Savage panicking. Race comes in and gets rammed into Dog’s head, allowing Dog to fire off the all fours headbutts, with the fans going NUTS. That’s enough for Race to take a breather on the floor but he comes back in to take over.

Savage drops a knee and goes up, only for Steamboat to offer a distraction. It’s back to Steamboat to chop away at Savage but Adonis gets in a suplex. Adonis spits at Piper, who looks ready to kill. Piper does indeed come int o go after Adonis and everything breaks down, with Steamboat being sent crashing out to the floor. Things calm down and it’s a double suplex to Piper, with Steamboat making the save.

Piper gets the sleeper on Adonis, with Race casually coming in to break it up. It’s back to Dog, with Monsoon and Slick arguing over his literacy. Adonis’ elbows to the head just wake Dog up as everything breaks down. Piper chairs Adonis up the aisle but Piper is back in to belly to back suplex Race. Savage makes a save before the count and….apparently Dog and Adonis were counted out at 7:58.

Monsoon wants to know how the referee knew who was legal as Race clotheslines Piper. It’s back to Savage to hammer away in the corner but Piper reverses a suplex into one of his own. That’s enough for Steamboat to come back in, sending us into a discussion of whether or not karate is legal in wrestling. A top rope shot tot he head gets two, with Savage making the save. Steamboat gets a small package but Savage turns it over and Race gets the pin at 11:42.

So it’s down to Piper vs. Race/Savage and the fans are loving this new hero thing he’s doing. Piper knocks Race outside and slugs away but has to blocks Savage’s chair shot. Back in and Piper gets double teamed again but manages to ax handle his way to freedom. A gutwrench suplex puts Race down so Savage is right back for the save. Savage ax handles Race by mistake though and can’t make the save in time, with Piper getting the pin at 15:57.

We’re down to Piper vs. Savage because this match hasn’t been awesome enough yet. Piper bites the hand but Savage’s running clothesline gets two. Savage’s slam doesn’t work so he goes with the choking before they shoulder each other down. Piper plays possum as Savage goes up top, meaning the elbow misses. A small package finishes Savage at 20:26.

Rating: B+. Oh of course this was excellent and there was no reason to think it would be anything else. The talent in here is incredible, as the Dog, who was incredibly popular in his own right, was a distant last on the in-ring abilities meter. Piper got to look like a superhero out there, even using his odd style. Heck of a match here and these matches were so popular around the horn that the Survivor Series was created as a result.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event X.

Piper is ready to leave wrestling for good (right) and talks about how much he’s given to wrestling over the years, with wrestling giving him even more back. We get a tribute video to Piper, which is set to the ending theme from Coliseum Video, which was originally Frank Sinatra’s My Way.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1986 (again).

Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Karate Kid/Pepe Gomez

This is your midget match, which was a recurring theme on these things. We’re joined in progress as Tokyo works on Kid’s arm and chops away. Kid kicks his way out of trouble and hits a running corner dropkick as everything breaks down. Littlebrook and Tokyo get caught in the rowboat and the former has a lot of trouble walking.

We settle down to Kid getting choked in the corner but Gomez makes the save and switches Tokyo with Kid, leaving Kid to get choked instead. Tokyo recovers enough to slam Gomez, whose kickout sends Kid onto the referee. Said referee tosses Tokyo so Littlebrook wants to fight. Kid comes back in to full nelson Littlebrook, who reverses into one of his own.

Tokyo hits him by mistake though and Littlebrook finally knocks Tokyo into the corner. A backdrop puts Kid down again and Littlebrook adds two of his own. Littlebrook crossbodies Tokyo by mistake though and it’s a dog pile pin to finish Tokyo at 7:19 shown of about 13:30, so they probably clipped a bunch of comedy.

Rating: C+. They took a lot out of there and it was only so interesting, but at least the arguing partners thing worked out well enough. This was a staple of the WWF home video market back in the day and it only worked so well most of the time, but the fans seemed enough into the thing. Thankfully they cut this almost in half, because it was going to overstay its welcome in a hurry.

From the same show.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Don Muraco

Muraco is in a kilt to mock Roddy Piper and this is billed as a battle of fashion, including the tuxedoed Mr. Fuji on the floor. Jim grabs underneath the kilt and mocks him a lot, with Fuji getting up on the apron. That earns him a knock to the floor and Jim steals the kilt for even more mockery.

We settle back down to Jim grinding away at a headlock and then knocking him outside with a shot to the face. Back in and Muraco grabs the hair and stomps away, followed by the chinlock. Jim has to kick an interfering Fuji away and then kicks Muraco down as well. The bearhug goes on but Fuji comes in with the cane for the DQ at 6:11.

Rating: C. It was just ok with the comedy being ok at the start, though the ending was pretty clearly there to set up something else. Jim was one of the most popular stars on the roster and it makes sense to put him in a spot where he can keep it simple and get the reaction from the crowd. I’m sure Fuji will be perfectly fine and not get in any trouble over the interference either.

Post match the beating is on and Fuji rips the overalls, followed by the big beating with the cane. With the villains gone, Jim challenges Fuji to a Tuxedo match.

From New York City, New York, December 26, 1986.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Mr. Fuji

Tuxedo match. Jim goes extra evil to start by stomping on Fuji’s amazing bowler hat and then ripping Fuji’s jacket. Back up and Fuji chops him down to go for a sleeve. They take turns ripping shirts open and Fuji goes low, allowing him to get the rest of Jim’s shirt off. A headbutt gets Jim out of trouble though and he strips Fuji’s pants to reveal the heart underwear for the win at 4:17.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what you would have been expecting and that’s perfectly fine. Jim was never going to be a big time serious character and he played to his strengths rather well. I’ve long since thought that he would get a huge reaction if he came out on a modern show as a special surprise because he’s the kind of lovable, family friendly character that just works so well. Beating up and embarrassing a manager has worked for years and it worked again here.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: B. This started off red hot and then cooled down a good bit, though dang that first two thirds or so with Piper focused stuff was outstanding. 1986 is kind of a forgotten time for the company as the focus often goes from Wrestlemania I to Wrestlemania III with only a glimpse at Orndorff vs. Hogan. There is some good stuff in there and this was a nice example, with hero Piper being a massive success. Check this out, but probably stop after the elimination match.

 

 

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WWE Vault Grab Bag VI
Commentators: Lenny Leonard, Rob Niemi, Tony Schiavone, Lord Alfred Hayes, Vince McMahon, Byron Saxton, Jim Ross, William Regal, Lenny Leonard, Rod Trongard, Jim Ross

So I’m up to another one of these and after last time, I’m rather intrigued by what that could mean. There are some absolutely great things available but since it’s all random choice, I have no idea what I’m going to pull. That makes it all the more fun so hopefully it works out. Let’s get to it.

From Evolve 99. We actually get a special intro from World Heavyweight Champion Gunther, who says this is what wrestling is supposed to look like.

Walter vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Sabre’s Evolve Title isn’t on the line. Sabre tries to go around him to start and is quickly taken into the corner, earning himself a front facelock. That’s broken up and we get some nice applause, followed by a rather aggressive headlock takeover to Sabre. Walter easily powers him down by the arm and a test of strength goes badly for Sabre as well. They go to the test of strength again and Sabre can’t break the bridge.

Walter can break Sabre’s though, only for Sabre to pop back up in quite the impressive visual. The big chop gives Walter two and he doesn’t like Sabre trying to chop him back. A big slam sends Sabre flying as this is pretty one sided thus far. Sabre finally pulls him down and stomps the arm but Walter uses the good arm to knock Sabre’s soul into the next county.

Another one turns Sabre inside out and a right hand drops him again. Back up and Sabre kicks at the leg to pull Walter into a kneebar. Walter gets to the rope and they head outside where he hits another hard chop. Lane: “I don’t know exactly how much money Sabre owes Walter but I’d be happy to lend it to him.” More chops have Sabre staggering around so he tries a chop of his own, earning himself one heck of a boot to the face. Back in and Walter wins another strike off, even shrugging off a middle rope elbow to the jaw.

Sabre does manage a DDT out of the corner though and they’re both down. Sabre’s PK is cut off so he kicks at the arm and gets an abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Walter busts out the dropkick out of the corner and it’s another double down. Back up and Sabre tries another chop and gets kicked into the sleeper for his efforts. Some suplexes give Walter two but Sabre is back with the Octopus.

That’s reversed into a failed Tombstone attempt and now the PK connects, leaving Sabre down for a breather. Back up and Sabre tries to chop again and gets dropped with a single shot to the face. Sabre tries a European Clutch, which is countered into Walter’s sleeper, which is countered into the Clutch for two. Back up and Sabre grabs a guillotine choke but Walter reverses into a suplex.

They get up again and Walter chops him down again, with commentary pointing out how the striking has been a REALLY BAD IDEA for Sabre. Walter chops him down again but a clothesline is countered into a cross armbreaker. That sends Walter over to the rope and he chops his way out a triangle choke. The powerbomb only gives Walter one so he hits a second for the pin at 17:58.

Rating: B. This was kind of an odd match, as Sabre was trying to come up with a way to get around Walter’s chops and never getting close. The idea seemed to be that he was trying to get through with a hold but Walter never came close to feeling like he was in serious trouble. It was more Sting vs. Vader from the 1992 Great American Bash, with Sabre getting smashed in the end for quite the emphatic win. Either way, those chops were devastating and Walter looked like a smashing machine, as has often been his custom.

From the First WWF Event In London (that’s pretty much what it was called) on October 10, 1989 in a match I’ve seen a bunch of times.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Sherri, is challenging while Hogan has Elizabeth. We get the bell and Savage immediately hits the stall button, as he has a tendency to do. The lockup goes to Hogan, who shoves Savage hard into the corner for another breather. A running shoulder drops Savage again and they go outside, where Sherri goes after Elizabeth. Back in and Savage gets knocked to the floor again, where he grabs the mic and promises to take the title.

This time Sherri gets inside with him for a double beating, which Hogan shrugs off again and knocks Savage outside. Sherri is sent outside with him but it’s enough for Savage to rake the eyes and FINALLY get a breather. Hold on though as Savage goes after Elizabeth on the floor, allowing Hogan to jump him again. Back in and some choking draws Sherri to the apron, where Elizabeth actually knocks her over the top.

Hogan goes outside to stalk Sherri, allowing Savage to get in another shot to take over again. The top rope ax handle gets two and Savage grabs a sleeper, as he just never learns. Hogan fights up and hits some running shoulders before they clothesline each other for a double down. Savage grabs a rollup with trunks for two and the sleeper goes on again.

That’s broken up and Hogan makes the comeback like he’s a superhero fighting out of a sleeper but Savage snaps his throat across the top. Sherri slips in the loaded purse for a top rope shot to the head, only for Savage to pull him up at two. Naturally the top rope elbow brings Savage to his feet and the comeback is on. Sherri comes in to no avail and it’s the big leg to retain (with Elizabeth cutting Sherri off) at 14:03.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s that I’ve seen this match so many times or that it’s another example of Savage looking like a moron against Hogan, but this didn’t do much for me. Savage had lost to Savage so many times by this point that it stopped mattering, though the London fans hadn’t seen it yet so at least it was new to them. If nothing else, Savage winning once, even off a fluke of some sort, would have made things feel more dramatic. I’m just not sure when that could have happened.

Post match we get a lot of posing, with both Elizabeth and the fans seeming to enjoy it.

From January 20, 1998 in a dark match before Raw, described as “The Attitude Era’s WILDEST Dark Match”.

Erin O’Grady vs. Vic Grimes

O’Grady is better known as Crash Holly and Grimes was one of Da Baldies in ECW. The fact that this has SLP and various other VCR buttons included tells you all you need to know here. O’Grady strikes away in the corner to start but gets shoved out with ease. Grimes tosses him out of the corner but O’Grady nips up in a rather impressive athletic spot. Some running dropkicks stagger Grimes and a missile dropkick gives O’Grady a delayed two.

A top rope hurricanrana drops Grimes again but he’s back up with some big shots in the corner. Grimes, who weighs about 300lbs, misses a charge in the corner and crashes out over the corner, allowing O’Grady to hit a nice springboard dive. Back in and O’Grady runs the ropes until he gets spun into a heck of a side slam. A torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker has O’Grady in even more trouble and a reverse sitout powerbomb plants him again.

They head outside, where Grimes grabs a chair to hit himself in the head a few times. O’Grady is sat in the chair and Grimes goes back inside for a running flip dive over the top, which only hits the empty chair. Back in and O’Grady gets his throat snapped across the top but Grimes misses a Swanton of all things. A missed charge in the corner lets O’Grady grab a tornado DDT and he slingshots forward to grab a hurricanrana. O’Grady tries it again but gets caught in a powerbomb, with Grimes flipping him up into a cutter for the pin at 7:02.

Rating: B+. Yeah it’s really that good, with O’Grady pulling out a bunch of stuff that had me thinking of AJ Styles. These two had worked together a bunch of times in California (where this took place) so it was no surprise that they had great chemistry together. It’s also no surprise that they both got developmental contracts immediately after this match. Check this out, as it’s genuinely a very entertaining match and by far the best I’ve ever seen from O’Grady.

From January 28, 1992 in Amarillo, Texas, a dark match at a Superstars taping.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Berzerker/Jake Roberts

Well dang the boys are back together. Berzerker is substituting for Undertaker, which makes me think how a Hogan vs. Berzerker run would have gone. Not well, but the idea would have made sense. Berzerker backs off from Hogan to start before hammering away. A dropkick of all things misses though and Hogan knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Hogan pokes him in the eyes, allowing Savage to come in for a change.

That lets Berzerker take him into the corner, allowing Roberts to send him crashing out to the floor. Mr. Fuji (of course he’s here) gets in a cane shot before Savage is thrown back inside for a Berzerker style beating from Berzerker. Roberts gets in a few shots of his own before handing it back to Berzerker, who is knocked away without too much trouble.

It’s back to Hogan for the usual house cleaning, including a big boot to send Berzerker over the top. Hogan beats on Roberts (that’s a weird visual) before handing it back to Savage to slug away. The top rope ax handle sends Roberts outside and he takes a walk but here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer to cut him off. Back in and Hogan gets a rollup for the pin (with Savage counting as well) at 8:16.

Rating: C. The action was nothing to see as it was a post show dark match, but dang the star power was high here, with the red hot Roberts, the freaking MEGA POWERS and Undertaker. Oh and Berzerker, who actually didn’t take the pin, which is kind of a shocker. This is the kind of thing I love seeing from the Vault (or the Savage Unreleased DVD) as it legitimately feels special and makes you wonder what else is hidden in those archives.

From New York City, New York on May 4, 1981 and this is a classic.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Pat Patterson

This is the Alley Fight, which basically means street fight. We get an intro from Slaughter, explaining that this stems from the Cobra Clutch challenge, where Patterson (an interviewer) was offered $10,000 to get out of Slaughter’s Cobra Clutch. It led to a fight (of course) and they had a match which went to a double DQ. Therefore, it was time to go violent.

Slaughter goes over the entire match and even explains the ending, as Slaughter knows how to drag anything out. Apparently Slaughter had to get his passport photo when his head was still bandaged and people knew it was from the Alley Fight. I’m sure that’s the case Sarge. After a nearly EIGHT MINUTE intro from Slaughter, we’re ready to go.

The fans get rather excited at the announcement of the match and Patterson is in jeans and an I Heart New York shirt. Slaughter has the Grand Wizard Of Wrestling with him and Patterson jumps Slaughter as he gets inside to start fast. Patterson kicks and stomps away in the corner before pulling off the belt. The whipping is on, followed by some choking, but Patterson is backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Patterson whips away again before kicking Slaughter in the ribs with those big cowboy boots.

Slaughter gets in a shot of his own though and wraps the belt around Patterson’s mouth. Some choking has Patterson in trouble but he flips Slaughter out to the floor to escape. Back in and a middle rope knee hits Slaughter so Patterson does it again. Slaughter kicks him down and drops a jumping knee of his own before going up top but thinking better of it.

Patterson gets in a shot of his own to bust Slaughter open and the catapult sends him into the post to make it even worse. Patterson’s comeback is cut off with a low blow but Slaughter can barely stand up. He slowly hammers on Patterson, who gets his own cowboy boot and starts hammering away. The blood is so bad that the Wizard throws in the towel to give Patterson the win at 14:13 and blow the roof off the place.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a fight and it lived up to the expectations. The key here was that it came off like an actual fight with two guys wanting to hurt each other. Patterson was way past his prime here but he worked hard and had a heck of a performance. I dug this one quite a bit and it’s more than worth a look to see two guys beating the daylights out of each other without needing a bunch of insane weapons.

From October 17, 2012, a dark match at an NXT taping.

We’re joined in progress with Kassius Ohno attacking CM Punk for the DQ in a match against Antonio Cesaro. Cue Seth Rollins for the save so the fans want a tag team match. Works for Punk and we’re ready to go.

Kassius Ohno/Antonio Cesaro vs. CM Punk/Seth Rollins

Aksana is here with the villains. Ohno and Cesaro try to leave but get dragged back to the ring for the opening bell. Rollins takes over on Ohno and grabs a cravate, allowing Punk to come in and strike him down for two. The Muta Lock goes on to put Cesaro in trouble and he has to grab the rope. It’s back to Rollins for a dropkick to Ohno but Aksana grabs the leg, allowing Cesaro to get in a big boot.

Rollins gets his legs snapped with some wishbones for two and it’s back to Cesaro to send him hard into the corner. Rollins finally fights back against Cesaro and gets over for the tag to Punk. House is quickly cleaned, including the running knee in the corner to Ohno, followed by the bulldog right back out. The top rope elbow…I guess connects as we cut to the crowd, meaning it was a likely botch of some sort, as Cesaro makes a save. Rollins is back in for a Sliced Bread to Cesaro and Punk adds the GTS for Ohno for the double pin at 10:33.

Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine match, though I’m a bit curious about the likely botch on the elbow. Commentary didn’t act like anything was wrong so I’m wondering what we missed in there. Either way, this was a good way to send the fans home happy at the end of the night. Punk was a mega star and Rollins was the NXT Champion, along with Cesaro being the US Champion so this was quite the star studded event.

From Corpus Christi, Texas on December 2, 1991, a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Ric Flair/Jake Roberts/Undertaker vs. Randy Savage/Jim Duggan/Roddy Piper

Mr. Perfect and Paul Bearer are here with the former. Oddly Undertaker would have been the WWF Champion here but is neither announced as the champion nor brings the belt with him. Flair backs Piper into the corner to start and gets slapped down, with Piper backing him into the other corner. Back up and Flair actually busts out a leapfrog before being knocked out to the floor. It’s off to Roberts, who wants Savage, which has Piper declaring Piper stupid.

Savage wrecks Roberts so Undertaker comes in and gets to beat on Duggan. Naturally the fans chat USA, despite the one non-American in the match being on the good side. Duggan fights out of the corner to hand it off to Piper, who explodes on Flair with the rapid fire punches in the corner. Some slower punches are cut off by the referee, allowing Flair to get in a cheap. The villains take turns beating on Piper, who slips away without much trouble. Everything breaks down and Savage drops the elbow for the fast pin on Flair to get out of there at 8:43.

Rating: C+. Totally acceptable send the fans home happy match here and that’s all it needed to be. It’s about getting some star power out there with the good guys going over in a match that doesn’t mean much. Duggan felt like the odd man out in there but those big right hands work on anyone. Fun stuff here.

From Wrestlemania XXVII Axxess.

Zack Ryder and Tyson Kidd introduce us to a tag match. Apparently they got a text at the last minute asking them for this match, which aired on MTV. Kidd considered it was an honor to be put in Piper’s sleeper.

Zack Ryder/Tyson Kidd vs. Roddy Piper/Rob Dyrdek

Piper comes out before Dyrdek and talks about how this is for the Make A Wish Foundation (ah there we go). He asks if Ryder and Kidd are having a good day before threatening to make it worse. Piper brings out a pair of unknowns and then Dyrdek, who skateboards down a ramp and goes over the top for quite the entrance. Kidd says that doesn’t make Dyrdek entertaining and no one wants to see a Johnny Knoxville wannabe team up with a broken down has been.

Somehow Kidd thinks insulting Piper is a good thing and Piper talks about fans coming here to see him 27 years ago. Now they’re here to see Dyrdek (or Kid Lightning), though Ryder isn’t convinced. Dyrdek praises Piper and says that the other two don’t know when lightning is going to strike. Piper (thankfully wrestling in a shirt) starts with Kidd and, after some stalling, drives him into the corner. Kidd shoves him away and actually goes for a handshake, allowing Piper to get in some slaps.

Piper works on the arm and spits at Ryder before handing it off to Dyrdek to stay on the arm. Ryder comes in so Piper and Dyrdek take turns working on his arm as well. Dyrdek actually gets knocked down and Kidd gives him a backbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Piper comes back in to fire off right hands and eye pokes but gets taken into the corner. One of the unknowns shoves Ryder down and Dyrdek comes down the ramp on his skateboard to dive into a crossbody for the pin on Ryder at 3:47.

Rating: C. The ending alone was far better than I was expecting (I would have bet on this being the basic rollup pin) but this was pretty much exactly what it should have been. Piper is old and Dyrdek isn’t a wrestler and the heels are just warm bodies for their sake. It’s perfectly fine as a way to give the Axxess fans a treat and there is nothing wrong with that.

From a WWA event (billed as a Funkin Dojo showcase event) in Quincy, Massachusetts on August 22, 1998.

Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage

Dory Funk Jr. and Jim Cornette are here too. Angle is wearing basic workout shorts and tennis shoes for a weird look. A fireman’s carry lets Angle ride him on the mat a bit and he picks the leg to do it again. Cage actually wrestles him down but can’t do much on the mat. A headlock takeover has Cage in more trouble and Angle grinds away on a headlock. Back up and Cage stomps away in the corner before dancing around a bit.

Cage sends him outside for a tennis racket shot to the back and Funk has to help Angle back inside, as a manager tends to do. We hit the chinlock back inside, followed by the layout reverse DDT for two. Back up and Angle rolls some German suplexes before a belly to belly gets two (with the mat sounding like they’re crashing hard every time). Cage is back with a powerslam but misses a top rope splash, allowing Angle to grab a rolling three quarter nelson for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C. The key thing to remember here is that Angle debuted TWO DAYS before this, making this his third ever professional match. Of course he’s not any good yet and has no idea what he’s doing. This was all about Angle getting his toes wet (he’s not ready for feet) and there is nothing wrong with that. The match is hardly anything good, but it was a way for Angle to do his basic stuff and get used to being in front of a crowd. The fact that he was about a year and a half away from being the Eurocontinental Champion and having a heck of a match with Benoit and Jericho at Wrestlemania is nothing short of remarkable.

From Dragon Gate USA’s Mercury Rising 2010.

Warriors vs. World-1

That would be Cima/Gamma/Dragon Kid vs. BxB Hulk/Masato Yoshino/Naruki Doi. Kid and Yoshino start things off with Yoshino’s wristlock not lasting long. Instead they run the ropes until Kid snaps off a headscissors. We’re clipped to Gamma rubbing Hulk’s face in the corner and chopping him in the head. Kid comes back in and drops some knees with Doi making the save.

We’re clipped again to Gamma coming off the top with a kendo stick for a low blow to Hulk. We’re clipped again to Cima double stomping Hulk and tying up his legs while suplexing Doi at the same time. Kid is back in for the save as everything breaks down and we’re clipped again to some stereo Black Widows going on, with Kid and Yoshino chopping it out while still holding said octopuses. Kid gets two off a DDT with Yoshino having to make a save. Cima puts Yoshino in the Tree Of Woe but misses a Coast To Coast, allowing Yoshino to come back with a missile dropkick/top rope backsplash (not bad for the same time).

Kid gets release German superplexed and Yoshino adds a Michinoku Driver for two more. We’re clipped again to Yoshino getting triple dropkicked but Doi kicks Cima into a cradle for two. Hulk slams Cima for two but Gamma catches him on top. Yoshino is back in with the nasty kendo stick shot to Hulk (the ref doesn’t mind) and Kid grabs a super poisonrana for the huge crash.

A West Coast Pop gives Kid two and we’re clipped again to Yoshino grabbing a nasty choke on Gamma with Hulk cutting off the save as Gamma passes out at 7:45 shown. The whole match is almost half an hour so I won’t rate it, but if you’ve seen Dragon Gate six man tags, you know they’re absolutely insane and a blast every time.

From an AWA show in St. Paul, Minnesota, March 13, 1983.

Hulk Hogan/High Flyers vs. Jesse Ventura/Bobby Heenan/Ken Patera

Oh this could be fascinating. The High Flyers are Greg Gagne/Jim Brunzell, the top good guy team of their day in the AWA. Heenan goes for a cheap shot to start but the villains are quickly cleared out, as you might expect. Hogan steps on Ventura’s bandanna and they’ll officially start, with Trongard even admitting that it’s going to break down sooner than later

Hogan takes over on the arm and snaps it over the top for quite the bump from Ventura. That’s already enough for the tag to Patera, who is quickly slammed. Gagne comes in to work on the arm and hands it off to Brunzell for more of the same. We get the required Heenan time and he actually takes over on Brunzell before being sent hard into the corner.

Gagne comes back in and takes out the other two before backing Heenan into Hogan, which would happen quite a few times over the years. The villains get Gagne into the wrong corner for some choking from Ventura and, like a schnook, Hogan tries to come in and makes things even worse. Patera comes in for the bearhug and Ventura does the same (imagine Ventura copying from a strong man with blond hair). The Argentine backbreaker has to be broken up so Heenan grabs a front facelock, with the referee not seeing the tag off to Hogan (what a nitwit).

Patera’s….we’ll say piledriver is countered into a backdrop but it’s still too early for the tag. Gagne slides between the legs though and it’s back to Brunzell for the house cleaning. Heenan breaks up the Indian deathlock so it’s off to Hogan for the real comeback. Hogan drops Patera and slingshots Heenan inside as everything breaks down. The legdrop (with Heenan having to flip into place as he realized what was coming) is enough to give Hogan the pin at 14:03.

Rating: C+. The AWA is the definition of an acquired taste and rarely does itself very well with one off, stand alone matches. The big idea was getting into the promos and characters, which only went so far here. Hogan getting to wreck people always worked and you could see what would become his usual stuff in there. Verne Gagne did screw up with him, but there was absolutely no way Hogan was staying there long term.

Post match the brawl stays on until the villains are cleared out again.

From World Championship Wrestling (the show and the company), May 20, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Eddie Guerrero

Guerrero is 21 here and Funk insists that he get his chaps off before receiving a proper introduction. Guerrero rolls away from Funk to start and hits an enziguri to the floor (and of course Funk is willing to bump like crazy for him). Back in and Funk drives him into the corner for the chop as JR talks about Funk injuring Ric Flair. Guerrero flips over him in the corner but gets caught in a giant swing of all things. Funk misses a charge into the ropes and Guerrero gets in a headscissors but misses a dropkick.

One heck of a toss over the top isn’t a DQ for some reason (JR doesn’t get it either) and Funk follows him, only to clothesline the post by mistake. Guerrero gets in a heck of a high crossbody to the floor but misses a slingshot dive. Funk runs the ropes a few times and hits a dropkick through the ropes, followed by the piledriver on the floor. What is left of Guerrero is thrown inside, knee dropped and pinned at 5:13.

Rating: B-. Terry Funk is the perfect example of someone put onto this planet for the purpose of being a professional wrestler. There is something about watching him in the ring that is so unique and so out there that it is absolute fascinating to see. You could tell he wanted to do something with Guerrero here and gave him A LOT of offense, which makes sense given Guerrero’s family. This is a pretty well known match and it’s not just for the name value, as they had some entertaining chemistry.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, these things are all over the place and while I’ve seen a few of them before, there was enough in here that was either new or new enough to make this fun. The Alley Fight and that shockingly awesome O’Grady vs. Grimes match are the highlights and while there was no run away entry, it was a great look at “huh, so that happened”. That’s what I love about the Vault and it was on full display again here.

 

 

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s a double main event, but in this case only one of those is a match. We have a handicap tag match between Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior and the Iraqi sympathizers (ignore that the war had been over for months by this point) and a wedding between Randy Savage and Elizabeth. That’s quite the contrast, which is the selling point of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Match Made In Heaven (the wedding) and the Match Made In Hell (Hogan/Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/General Adnan/Colonel Mustafa).

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

The Dragon/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Power & Glory/Warlord

Dragon works on Roma’s arm to start and lifts him into the air to keep up the cranking. Tornado comes in to send Hercules into the corner over and over but a rake to the eyes cuts that off. It’s off to Bulldog vs. Warlord, with Bulldog grabbing a quick suplex. Dragon comes back in with a chop to Warlord’s head but a monkey flip is blocked (with Warlord not doing much, leaving Steamboat to just jump backwards).

The villains take over, with Roma getting two off a snap suplex. Some backbreakers from Roma set up Hercules’ delayed gorilla press as the beating continues. A clothesline cuts off the comeback attempt but Warlord, who is known for going up top, dives into raised boots, allowing the tag off to Tornado. Everything breaks down and Bulldog powerslams Roma for two (what a surprising kickout), followed by Dragon’s high crossbody for the win at 10:46.

Rating: C. This was a perfectly fine way to start the show, even with Roma’s kind of weird kickout at the end. Dragon was his usual good self, Bulldog was fine as a power guy and Tornado managed to not get lost coming to the ring so we’ll call it a success. Nice way to start the show, as a six man often is.

Mr. Perfect, with the Coach, says Bret Hart isn’t perfect enough to take the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Hart is challenging and Coach is here with Perfect. Hart’s parents are here in the crowd, just in case you didn’t realize this was a big moment. They take their time to start until Hart shoulders him down and sends Perfect crashing out to the floor. Back in and Hart grabs a headlock takeover to grind away for a pretty good while until Perfect gets up. That means a clothesline out to the floor, with Coach needing to do…well some coaching actually.

Perfect teases walking out but Hart sends him back inside, tearing Perfect’s singlet in the process. Back in and Perfect actually bothers to fight, knocking Hart outside and chopping him down. Hart is right back in to hammer away and a rollup gets two. Perfect cuts that off in a hurry and sends Hart back outside as Perfect is starting to overwhelm him. Hart gets inside again and is promptly caught in a sleeper.

A Samoan drop of all things gives Perfect two and he sends Hart hard into the corner for the same. The PerfectPlex gets two and the kickout has the fans right back into this. Hart hits some atomic drops to put Perfect in trouble for a change and the hair toss into the corner kind of crotches Perfect on the post. The Russian legsweep gives Hart two and the backbreaker into the middle rope elbow gets the same.

Hart sends him outside again for a posting (and of course Perfect’s bumping is great) before it’s time to kick at the leg back inside. Coach has to get on the apron to block a Sharpshooter (and remind us that he’s a thing), with the distraction allowing Perfect to kick the rope for a low blow. Perfect drops a leg between the legs but Hart blocks a second and reverses it into the Sharpshooter for the (very fast) submission and the title at 18:05 and kickstart his singles run.

Rating: A. Oh what else were you expecting? This match has been revered for decades now and that will be the case for a long time to come. It’s a great back and forth match with Hart getting his first major singles win and proving he can hang with the best of them. When the only flaw is “Perfect gave up really fast”, you’re doing something right. Awesome match, mainly due to how well both of them were able to do just about everything. You could see both of them doing their parts to almost perfection and it made for an all time classic.

Post match Hart rips the rest of the singlet off of Perfect and poses with the title, even going to celebrate with his parents.

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Andre The Giant, looking terrible, is with the Bushwhackers and we see a clip of Earthquake attacking Andre and injuring his knee. Now Andre is backing the Bushwhackers to get revenge. Just because he’s big doesn’t mean he’s smart.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Jimmy Hart is here with the Disasters and Andre is with the Bushwhackers. They walk around to start until the Disasters go after Andre, earning themselves a double poke to the eyes from the Bushwhackers. Heenan: “If I was managing the Bushwhackers, I’d commit suicide.” We settle down to Butch vs. Typhoon with Butch getting backed into the corner but biting his way to freedom.

Earthquake makes the save (if you need to be saved from the Bushwhackers, perhaps it’s time to search for alternate employment) but the Bushwhackers clear the ring in short order. We settle back down to Earthquake hammering away on Butch as Heenan wonders which one is Larry, Darryl and Darryl. Butch gets crushed in the corner and has to fight out of a bearhug.

Typhoon elbows him in the face for two as Heenan leaves commentary to go talk to Hulk Hogan. That’s an odd change but Monsoon and Piper are happy. Butch gets away and brings in Luke to actually clean house. The Battering Rams send Earthquake to the floor, where he gives Butch a backbreaker. Luke steps on Typhoon’s toes but Typhoon can’t even sell that, allowing Earthquake to jump Luke from behind. The Earthquake is good for the pin at 6:27.

Rating: D. Well there was no way they were following the previous match, but what were they expecting out of this one? The match was never going to be much more than a squash and there was no reason to think otherwise. On top of that, Andre looked absolutely terrible and it was sad to see him out there barely able to move as such a shell of his former self.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the Legion Of Doom come out to cut that off in a hurry. There’s your next big tag feud.

Heenan, with the Big Gold Belt, goes to Hulk Hogan’s dressing room to issue a challenge on behalf of Ric Flair. Hogan knocks the belt out of his hands and slams the door. Well in theory at least, as we never actually hear Hogan or see his face.

Randy Savage is talking to fans on a phone line.

Ted DiBiase laughs at some of the things he has made Virgil do for him over the years. Tonight, DiBiase is ready to take Virgil out again for daring to challenge for the Million Dollar Title. This is a city full of gutters so Virgil can pick where he wants to go. And he’ll throw in a crying towel!

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

DiBiase, with Sherri, is defending. Virgil hammers away to start fast and DiBiase is knocked to the floor early on. Back in and an atomic drop sends DiBiase crashing out to the floor again but this time DiBiase gets in a knockdown of his own. Heenan is back on commentary, with Piper saying that’s it for the fun.

DiBiase sends Virgil knees first into the steps and it’s time for the falling fists back inside. The beating continues as Heenan thinks Virgil is dumb enough to have the gold title bronzed. Back up and Virgil ducks a right hand and grabs the Million Dollar Dream. DiBiase is in trouble and Sherri brings in the loaded purse for the DQ at 6:27.

Actually hang on a second as the referee isn’t ending the match, but rather ejecting Sherri and continuing the match. Piper, Virgil’s friend and trainer, is THRILLED as Virgil hammers away in the corner but the referee gets bumped. DiBiase stops to taunt Piper and then drops Virgil with some suplexes. The piledriver plants Virgil but there is no referee, even as Piper is LOSING HIS MIND screaming for Virgil. The turnbuckle pad is removed but DiBiase takes too much time and gets sent into the exposed buckle. Virgil slowly crawls over and gets the pin and the title at 13:12, sending Piper through the roof.

Rating: C+. This was the pinnacle of everything with Virgil as he wins the title, but much more importantly he beats his former boss, who was a huge star in his own right. Piper deserves some credit here too, as he was pushing Virgil as hard as he could. It made you want to see Virgil win and that’s a great addition to the whole thing. Not an all time classic, but an emotional match that paid off a story years in the making.

Virgil gets the big celebration in a nice moment.

The Mountie is ready to beat Big Boss Man and then see him locked up in jail. He wants these New York police guards to brutalize Boss Man for a bonus. We also see some clips of Mountie using his shock stick on Boss Man, which is a rather violent way to set up a feud. It should be shocking that Boss Man is mad.

Boss Man is ready to send Mountie to jail.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

The loser spends the night in jail and Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. Boss Man punches him in the face to start fast and cuts off a comeback with a hard spinebuster. The neck crank has Mountie in trouble so Hart offers a distraction. The chase is on and Boss Man is sent into the steps, with Heenan being rather pleased. Back in and Mountie’s slam gets two, followed by an elbow for the same as things slow WAY down.

A kickout sends Mountie flying out to the floor, with Monsoon calling Hart a walking advertisement for birth control. Geez that’s harsh even for Monsoon. Back in and Mountie bites Boss Man’s face before getting him up for a piledriver. With nothing else working, Hart gets on the apron but Mountie misses the shock stick shot. The Boss Man Slam….only gets two (that’s not something you see very often) so it’s a rather nasty Alabama Slam to finish Mountie off at 9:33.

Rating: C. The match was slow, but this was all about the ending and the post match shenanigans. As weird as it was to have the Boss Man Slam only get two, it was a good false finish before the pretty great looking Alabama Slam. Mountie’s time on offense was so slow though and it brought down the rest of the match.

Post match Boss Man has Mountie cuffed immediately and he’s dragged out back to the police van.

Ted DiBiase thinks he was robbed.

Bret Hart says Mr. Perfect just wasn’t perfect enough.

Jimmy Hart wants his lawyers to deal with the Mountie while the Natural Disasters threaten the Legion Of Doom.

Big Boss Man says a jailbird can’t fly and promises more torment for the Mountie tonight.

Randy Savage is still busy talking to fans and Gene Okerlund can only get some quick comments about him being ready for the wedding.

Five minute intermission, thankfully omitted.

Commentary does their preview/recap to fill in time.

The Mountie is taken to jail, where he screams his catchphrase as he’s put in the cell.

Jimmy Hart, now with the Nasty Boys, says his lawyer is on his way to the jail. The Nasty Boys accuse the Legion Of Doom and Jack Tunney of “coagulating” together against them.

Mountie gets his picture taken, despite being upset, sending Hart into a crazed rant about how that’s an invasion of privacy. Hart is hilarious in these over the top segments.

The Legion Of Doom is ready to win the Tag Team Titles. Then they’re ready for the Natural Disasters.

Mountie gets fingerprinted, again against his will.

The Triangle Of Terror (looking ancient, because they mostly were) say the Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan are the ones who are outnumbered. Sgt. Slaughter teases having a surprise for the match.

Sid Justice (guest referee in the main event) promises to call the main event down the line. We see a clip of the Triangle Of Terror talking to Justice earlier and offering him a spot on the team. Back live, Sid says he didn’t promise them a thing (and we never heard him give an answer) but tonight, justice will be served. Is he going to dinner or something?

Tag Team Titles: Legion Of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are defending and this is No DQ/No Countout. The Legion cleans house to start, with Hawk even hitting an enziguri for two on Sags. Animal and Knobbs brawl to distract the referee and Sags sprays Hawk with something, which commentary ignores. A tray of drinks to the back has Hawk in more trouble and Sags ax handles him in the back to keep him down.

Knobbs comes in to clothesline Hawk, even as the camera shot is from the corner for some reason. A running splash hits in the corner but a middle rope version hits a raised boot. Animal comes in to clean house, including the powerslam for two on Knobbs. Hawk gets sent to the floor and Hart sends in his helmet, with a shot to the back rocking Animal. The delayed cover gets two but Hawk takes away the helmet and clocks Sags. The Doomsday Device gives us new champions at 7:45.

Rating: C+. Pretty quick and to the point here, though it wasn’t total destruction. What matters the most here is that the Legion Of Doom get up to the top, as they had felt like the most dominant team for a good while. It helps that they kept this as more of a brawl than a match, which suited both of them better. The other thing that stood out here: Hawk and Animal looked happy to win. They were raising their hands and hugging each other, which is how you should celebrate a huge moment. Do that kind of thing more often.

Mountie is put in a cell. One very cool detail here: on the Superstars leading into this show, Mountie had promised that Boss Man would do each of these things in order but then had to do it himself. That’s a nice bit of continuity that you don’t often see around here and it made things a little better if you were paying attention.

IRS vs. Greg Valentine

Heenan: “This will be a good match.” Might want to try again there Brain. Feeling out process to start with Valentine knocking IRS outside. As we slow things down a bit (yes, in this match), Monsoon passes on a rumor that Jake Roberts and Undertaker (a freshly evil pairing) have been seen around here. Back in and Valentine slams him for another trip to the floor, this time following him to hammer away.

IRS gets in a cheap shot and the abdominal stretch goes on, followed by a big clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on as Heenan asks if Monsoon and Piper’s parents wore suspenders (like IRS). Heenan realizes there’s no point in asking Piper as his parents were never home, which seems to touch a nerve. Anyway Valentine cuts him off the top and starts in on the leg, with the Figure Four sending IRS over to the ropes. Valentine stays on the leg but gets small packaged to give IRS the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C-. As usual, I have no idea what the point was in Valentine’s face turn, as the matches might have been technically fine but it’s not like there was anything interesting about him. IRS wasn’t much better and that didn’t make for much of a match. It wasn’t terrible by any means, but what was anyone expecting out of this one?

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Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior are ready for the Triangle Of Terror. Hogan says this is the perfect battleground while Warrior says they’ll walk instead of coming by boat or air. They’ll walk out the same too. We get a double Hogan catchphrase and Warrior gives him a rather odd looking….we’ll call it a hug.

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Triangle Of Terror

Sid Justice is guest referee. Slaughter and Hogan start things off, with Sid taking away a foreign object and yelling at Slaughter to quite the reaction. Hogan actually doesn’t capitalize and gets pummeled in the corner, only to come back with a hard whip into another corner. Slaughter gets caught between Hogan and Warrior (much like his title reign), with Warrior coming in for an atomic drop.

Hogan comes back in to send him into the corner and adds a middle rope ax handle for two, with Mustafa kind of touching Hogan’s shoulder for the….I guess you could call it a save. Hogan chokes away in the corner but Sid actually breaks it up to keep things even. Slaughter gets in a cheap shot so Adnan can come in and slowly chop away. Mustafa’s gutwrench suplex (that always looked good) sets up the camel clutch, with Piper making a rare reference to Mustafa being the Iron Sheik.

That’s broken up even faster than it was in 1983 and it’s back to Slaughter, who goes up. Warrior shoves him off the top, with Slaughter DIVING across the ring for a crazy visual. It’s back to Warrior to clean house but Mustafa cheats to cut him off. A suplex gets Warrior out of trouble but Slaughter gets back in to break up the tag.

The big flying clothesline gets Warrior out of trouble and there’s the big tag to Hogan. Everything breaks down and Warrior gets a chair to chase Mustafa and Adnan to the back (where he was promptly fired by Vince McMahon). Hogan uses the distraction to throw powder into Slaughter’s eyes and drops the leg for the pin (with a FAST count) at 12:41.

Rating: C-. What were you expecting here? Hogan had already beaten Slaughter on his own at Wrestlemania and adding in two old guys wasn’t going to be enough to overcome the addition of the Warrior. Normally this wouldn’t feel like the main event of Summerslam, but keep in mind that this is the fourth Summerslam and the third to have a tag match main event. That’s kind of what Summerslam did, though this never had the slightest bit of drama, with Sid mostly being a non-factor.

Post match Hogan makes funny faces and then calls Sid back to pose with him. Because they’re best friends and would never split up of course.

Mountie meets a man in leather in his cell. Make your own jokes. Or don’t.

We recap Randy Savage proposing to Elizabeth (Piper: “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!”), who of course responded with an awesome OH YEAH.

We get a music video of Savage and Elizabeth, which really is one of the best long term stories the company has ever done. Savage grew and changed over the course of the whole thing and that’s why it worked: it was a story with people involved and you could see how we got here over the years.

With the video done (and the ring ready for the wedding), Savage comes out in his white tuxedo and feathered hat (of course) and we get the ring bearer/flower girl. Elizabeth comes out, everyone swoons, the minister does his thing, Savage takes the sunglasses off to say OH YEAH, Elizabeth says yes, they get married, they leave, the show ends. This was the better part of fifteen minutes and…well it certainly happened. This would later be followed by the reception, which was crashed by Undertaker and Jake Roberts, setting off Roberts’ feud with Savage and eventually Undertaker’s face turn. For now though, just a wedding.

Overall Rating: C+. This isn’t a show you watch for the wrestling (save for that whole all time classic thing near the beginning), but it’s the definition of an easy to watch, fun show. That was kind of the theme of Summerslam back in the day, as there would be one or two things in the middle, but it wasn’t the kind of show where something major was going down. It was about the good guys getting a win to set up something for later and that’s what we got here. This might not be a classic, but there is enough fun stuff to keep you entertained for a few hours.

 

 

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Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

It’s the second edition of the show and again the main event is a tag match featuring Hulk Hogan and his best friend of the moment. In this case it’s Brutus Beefcake, teaming with Hogan against Zeus and Randy Savage. Other than that, the big story is Ultimate Warrior challenging Rick Rude for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and hypes up the main event.

Opening video, which might as well be any weekly TV show, albeit with some people doing….I guess you could call them Summery things.

Brainbusters vs. Hart Foundation

The Busters’ (with Bobby Heenan) Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line because they won the titles after the contract was signed, which is kind of a stretch to put it mildly. Hart and Tully start things off and Ventura acknowledges how good these two are in the ring. Anderson comes in with a drop toehold but Hart is right back on the arm. A hammerlock slam has Anderson in more trouble and it’s off to Neidhart.

The Harts take turns working on the arm but Anderson gets over for the tag…which doesn’t count as Blanchard’s foot was on the bottom rope. That’s not something you see very often. Anderson kicks Hart away and brings Blanchard back in, only for Hart to catch his kick to the ribs. The Harts start in on Blanchard’s arm for a change and even change behind the referee’s back as the referee is arguing with Anderson.

Blanchard’s chops have no effect and it’s back to Hart to work on the arm as Ventura can’t believe how one sided this has been so far. Blanchard reverses into a top wristlock but Hart bridges up (that’s impressive) and then flips away when Anderson grabs a double top wristlock (that’s impressive too). The Busters are double armdragged to the floor and Heenan wants a conference.

That doesn’t work for Neidhart, who throws Blanchard back in for a slugout with Hart. Blanchard manages to make a blind tag to Anderson and Hart is knocked down, but a Vader Bomb misses. Everything breaks down and the Busters are knocked outside again. Back in and Blanchard is sent face first into Neidhart’s boot and everything breaks down again. Neidhart is sent chest first into the buckle and Anderson gets to talk some trash. Blanchard grabs a reverse chinlock until Neidhart powers up, only for Anderson to come back in off another blind tag.

Back up and Anderson and Neidhart collide for a double down. That’s enough for Neidhart to bring Hart back in to hammer on Blanchard in the corner. Everything breaks down and Hart collides with Blanchard. Neidhart powerslams Hart onto Blanchard but Heenan has the referee. Anderson hits a middle rope ax handle and covers (while covering his head so the referee can’t tell he’s the illegal man in a brilliant move) for the pin at 15:57.

Rating: B+. Awesome match to start the show here with two all time great teams having an excellent match. The idea here was that the Harts were the better team, at least on this night, but Heenan (and then Anderson) cheating at the end was enough to turn things around. This was about two teams who knew what they were doing getting the chance to showcase themselves and believe it or not, it worked great.

Dusty Rhodes, in a snazzy hat, is ready for his match against the Honky Tonk Man. He hasn’t been this excited since his first date with Sally Good. Honky Tonk Man has been saying that Rhodes can’t wrestle and it’s time to prove that wrong. Rhodes was clearly having a blast here.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Honky Tonk Man

Jimmy Hart is here with Honky Tonk Man. Believe it or not, there is some stalling to start with both of them dancing a bit. Rhodes backs him into the corner about a minute in and hits a backdrop but it’s way too early for the big elbow. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before messing with Honky Tonk Man’s hair. The atomic drop sets up an elbow to the head as it’s all Rhodes thus far.

Rhodes cranks on the leg a bit but Honky Tonk Man gets out and fires off some right hands. That’s broken up so Hart tries a distraction, which fails miserably as Rhodes chases him off. The distraction does let Hart slip Honky Tonk Man the megaphone for a shot to the ribs and the villain takes over. Hart gets in a bit of choking (Ventura: “Don’t you just love him Tony?”) and we’re off to the chinlock.

This stays on for a LONG time, with Ventura getting in a rant about how Rhodes is one of those annoying wrestlers who gets inspiration from the fans. Rhodes finally fights up and slugs away, looking a good bit like Apollo Creed in the process. Honky Tonk Man sends him into the referee so he calls for the guitar. Hart hits Honky Tonk Man by mistake though and Rhodes drops the big elbow for the pin at 9:42.

Rating: C+. I remember not liking this match very much before but, aside from the LONG chinlock, it really is a lot of fun. Rhodes knows exactly how to play to the crowd and make something like this goofy fun. The dancing turned it into a funny enough comedy match and I liked it more than I did in previous viewings. Fun stuff.

Post match Honky Tonk Man talks about Priscilla and Lisa Marie. He has a concert to do so someone help him find the stage. Yeah he’s fine.

Demolition and Jim Duggan (who is the King, meaning he has an American flag, the crown, a Demolition mask and an American flag 2×4 with a crown of its own) are ready for the Twin Towers and Andre The Giant. They’ve been flipping cars over and now it’s King Demolition, because Duggan wants to break things. Duggan’s look was so insane that I had fun with this.

Red Rooster vs. Mr. Perfect

They shove each other to start until Rooster right hands him back. Rooster’s slam falls backwards though and Perfect hits a heck of a dropkick. Back up and Taylor sends him outside for the slugout. Back in and Perfect grabs a PerfectPlex for the win out of nowhere at 3:25. Rooster hurt his ankle/knee or something in there, hence the short match.

Rating: C. Yeah there’s only so much you can do here with so little time and Rooster getting hurt in the middle. They didn’t have a choice but to go home in a hurry and that’s the best option they had. At the same time, Perfect was on the ascension around this time and you would be seeing even more of him in the coming months.

Rick Rude promises to make Ultimate Warrior into the Ultimate Liar. Bobby Heenan promises to do whatever it takes to retain the title. This wasn’t the original version that aired, as the Summerslam sign originally fell down, causing Gene Okerlund to swear. The wrong tape was played live and Tony and Jesse were caught completely off guard. Instead, it’s just a generic heel promo.

Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Rick Martel/Rougeaus

Slick and Jimmy Hart are here with the villains and there is a lot of talent in this one. Santana wants to start with Martel but gets Jacques instead. Everything breaks down in a hurry, with Santana and the Rockers hitting dropkicks to send the other three outside. Back in and Jannetty punches Jacques out of the air but a superkick cuts him off. Jannetty fights back up and brings Santana in to face Martel, who bails outside (for some hair rubbing from Jacques).

They get back in and a shot to the knee takes Santana down. A double back elbow has Santana in more trouble, with Martel firing off some shoulders in the corner. Santana gets two off a quick sunset flip but Martel chokes him back down. It’s back to Raymond for the Boston crab before Jacques adds an abdominal stretch. The villains take turns switching without a tag and Ventura, of course, loves it. The chinlock goes on but Jacques eventually misses a running knee to Raymond.

Michaels comes in off the tag and the fans go NUTS as he cleans house. Jannetty gets backdropped onto Martel and Jacques elbows Martel by mistake. Everything breaks down and Santana forearms Martel out to the floor. The Rockers and Rougeaus brawl on the floor and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Jacques to knee Jannetty in the back. Jannetty reverses that as well but Martel gets in a cheap shot and steals the pin on Jannetty at 14:58.

Rating: B+. This was an absolute hidden gem, with everyone involved working hard with a hot finish. The fact that I’ve seen the match multiple times and was genuinely expecting Jannetty to get the pin before the last second save tells you a lot about how good this was. You had some outstanding talent in there and they had a killer match here.

Long recap of Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude. Warrior lost the Intercontinental Title to Rude at Wrestlemania thanks to some cheating from Bobby Heenan so Warrior wants revenge. Rude attacked him early, with Andre the Giant playing security but not realizing that Warrior fought back. Later on, Warrior jumped Rude and beat him up for a change, only for Rude and Andre to beat Warrior up a few weeks later in quite the scary visual.

Warrior shouts a lot about the eighth wonder of the world and eating Rick Rude alive.

Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rude, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. They circle each other to start with Rude realizing that he might be in trouble. Rude slugs away to no avail so Warrior clotheslines him out to the apron. Warrior knocks him to the floor, sending Ventura into a rant about how none of this is legal and how Schiavone is dumber than Gorilla Monsoon. Back in and Warrior hits a top rope ax handle for two.

The atomic drop gives us the required funny sell from Rude, with Warrior doing his own hip swivel. Rude gets in a cheap shot to the back and starts hammering away, setting up a suplex for two. We hit the reverse chinlock to stay on the bad ribs but Warrior is fine enough to block the Rude Awakening. Rude tries a sleeper instead, with Warrior countering but taking out the referee by mistake. Warrior hammers away and hits a powerslam but there is still no referee.

A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two thanks to the foot on the ropes. Warrior hits another running powerslam but the splash hits raised knees. Rude is back up with a piledriver of his own (though he knees forward like a Tombstone for a weird twist) for two of his own and he drops a top rope fist for the same.

Cue Roddy Piper (already having issues with Rude) as Rude hits another piledriver for two more (geez and I thought AEW killed that move)…and Piper distracts Rude by lifting up his kilt. Warrior German suplexes him off the middle rope and hits a flying shoulder into the gorilla press and Warrior Splash for the title at 16:03.

Rating: B-. While it’s not quite as good as the Wrestlemania version, this was another good match from two guys who certainly worked well together. That’s all it needed to be, with Warrior getting the title back on the way to his main event push. Rude didn’t feel like a flash in the pan and got a lout out of being champion, with what feels like an awesome feud against Piper coming up.

Sean Mooney is in the crowd and thinks this is awesome, even as Ventura rants about Piper.

Mr. Perfect calls the Red Rooster a stepping stone.

Roddy Piper laughs at Bobby Heenan’s loss and blows his nose before praising the Ultimate Warrior. OF COURSE he cost Rude the title. Why would you have expected anything else?

Ronnie Garvin, in a tuxedo, says he has a special assignment tonight but Bobby Heenan comes in to rant about how Piper had NO REASON to be at ringside. Rick Rude comes in and does NOT like being called the former champion. Rude rants about Piper and promises to be the champion again. Heenan wants the match started again and can’t even speak from being so upset.

We get a five minute intermission, thankfully cut out on Peacock.

We get a recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Zeus, which started back in May when Zeus beat him down before a cage match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. The idea was that Zeus was the villain in the movie No Holds Barred but wants a real life fight. Naturally he’s called Zeus (the character’s name) rather than anything else, because Hogan, real person, is fighting Zeus, the movie character. Maybe it’s better if you don’t think about it too much. Anyway Hogan hit Zeus with a chair to no effect but maybe he can make it work in a tag match.

Demolition/Jim Duggan vs. Twin Towers/Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan and Slick are here with the heels (Big Boss Man and Akeem as the Towers if you’re not familiar). Duggan even has the American flag face paint in case the other four things weren’t enough. Demolition work on Akeem’s arm to start and pound him down as they are known to do. Ax elbows Akeem down but it’s quickly off to the Boss Man, who gets chopped in the head.

It’s back to Ax to hammer away but Boss Man manages a few shots of his own in the corner. Duggan comes in to start on the arm but Ax allows the tag to Andre, meaning it’s time for the real beating to begin. That’s broken up rather quickly and it’s off to Smash, who (rather easily) slams Akeem, only to get dropped by a single shot from Andre. The splash connects but Duggan blasts Akeem with the 2×4 to give Smash the pin at 7:29.

Rating: B-. I’ve long since been a Demolition fan and this was a good example of why. There was something so fun about watching them hammer people down, as they lived up to the idea of demolishing them. Good effort here, even if it was clear that Andre’s body was breaking down in a hurry.

Ted DiBiase, with Virgil, is ready to beat Jimmy Snuka.

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Ronnie Garvin is guest ring announcer, having been suspended as a wrestler and referee, and doesn’t think much of Valentine. Garvin introduces Valentine as “his so called opponent” with a pipsqueak of a manager named Jimmy Hart, who claims to be from Seattle, Washington and who Garvin thinks is overweight by about 30lbs. Oh and his robe is covered with cheap rhinestones and you can’t tell if he’s coming or going.

Hercules slugs away to start and knocks Valentine to the floor, including a beating in the timekeeper’s area. Back in and Valentine slugs him down but the figure four is broken up. A suplex goes to Hercules and he hammers away in the corner, only for Valentine to sweep the legs and get a cheating rollup for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: C. Despite my eternal dislike of Garvin, the feud with Valentine was funny and if he could have done a better series of insults to start, it would have been even better. The match itself was nothing, but dang it was funny watching Valentine getting angrier and angrier at Garvin. Fun stuff here, with the match being an afterthought.

And hang on as Garvin calls Hercules the winner, and after some consultation, Hercules is indeed named the winner by DQ. Valentine decks Garvin and slugs it out with Hercules but Garvin gets up and drops Valentine with the big right hand.

Randy Savage, Sherri and Zeus are around a cauldron and promise to destroy Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. Sherri sees Hogan and Beefcake defeated and Savage sees…uh, the same thing. Oh and Elizabeth will be destroyed too. This is still one of the weirdest promos I’ve ever seen.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Virgil is here with DiBiase, who brags about ending Jake Roberts’ career. DiBiase jumps him to start but Snuka fights back for a knock out tot he floor. Virgil gets decked as well and an atomic drop sends DiBiase over the floor (with one of his always great bumps). Back in and DiBiase shrugs off a ram into the buckle and hammers Snuka into the corner.

Snuka fights back until he charges into a hot shot, followed by a backbreaker. The falling elbow misses though and Snuka hits a top rope headbutt. Instead of covering he goes up though, allowing Virgil to offer a distraction. DiBiase is back up with a posting for the countout at 6:26.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, as it was little more than a midcard match between two guys who weren’t as big as they used to be. It seemed like more of a filler match to get us to the main event, which isn’t a great sign for someone who headlined this show last year. Not bad, but you could cut this from the card and not lose a thing.

Post match Snuka jumps both villains and hits the Superfly Splash on Virgil.

Sean Mooney is still in the crowd and still doesn’t have much to say.

Hulk hogan and Brutus Beefcake talk about….Moses and the parting of the Red Sea? Brutus talks about the sharpness of his blades and Hogan talks about some sexy legs wrapped around his motorcycle. Somehow, less weird than the cauldron. Not much less, but less.

The Genius reads a poem about Hogan and Beefcake losing because they don’t have the cards.

Randy Savage/Zeus vs. Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake

Sherri is here with Savage and Zeus so Hogan has Miss Elizabeth introduced, freaking Savage out all over again. With that out of the way, Zeus chokes Hogan down to start and grabs the bearhug, with Savage adding a top rope ax handle to the back. Savage grabs a sleeper before it’s back to Zeus for the bearhug.

That stays on for a good while until it’s back to Savage, who gets suplexed down. It’s finally off to Beefcake for the running knee and a sleeper but Savage sends him into the buckle. Zeus comes back in so beefcake rakes his eyes and grabs the sleeper again. Sherri slips in the loaded purse though and Savage gets in the big cheap shot. The slow beating ensues with both villains getting in some choking.

Beefcake finally gets in a shot of his own though and it’s back to Hogan, who boots Savage to the floor. Zeus drops Hogan again so Savage comes in for the elbow….and Hogan pops up. Hogan slugs away on Zeus and a clothesline finally puts him down on one knee. Sherri tries to come in but Elizabeth shoves her in. Beefcake shoves Savage, with the purse, off the top. The loaded purse to the face rocks Zeus and Hogan slam him down. The legdrop finishes for Hogan at 15:12.

Rating: C. Maybe it’s the lack of Jesse Ventura as the referee, or a monster who knew what he was doing in the ring (not Zeus’ fault) but this falls pretty far from last year’s similar main event. I kept losing interest in this one and that’s not a good sign for the main event. If nothing else, it didn’t feel like some big blowoff, even with Hogan getting the pin on Zeus. Not much of a main event here, but to be fair they only had three wrestlers doing the work of four.

Post match Hogan and Beefcake hold them off with the sheers and CUT SHERRI’S HAIR. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show starts off great and then kind of sputters out near the end, but I had a lot more fun this time around than I was expecting. That was a nice surprise and at just over two and a half hours, it certainly doesn’t overstay its welcome. That first six man is more than worth a look and the opener is a genuine dream match from this era. It’s not an all timer, but it would have been very close with a better main event.

Ratings Comparison

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F
2013 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C+

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B-

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo B

Yeah it’s better than I said, especially Rhodes vs. Honky Tonk Man.

 

 

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Crunch Classic
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney
Host: Roddy Piper

It’s a Coliseum Video and I’m curious to see what it includes. These things can go all over the place and that’s what makes them so much fun. Hopefully they focus on some of the more talented stars, as you can get some great matches, but you can also get some of the weirdest choices you’ll ever see. I’m not sure what to expect here and that makes it fun so let’s get to it.

This seems to be from 1992.

Host Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and goes over some of his most famous moments (Cyndi Lauper, Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka), but he never won a title…until he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

The Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, is defending after winning the title from Bret Hart a few days earlier. Piper throws a jacket over Mountie’s face to start and hammers away, with Mountie bailing out to the floor. Back in and Mountie chokes on the rope but tries a monkey flip, only to get punched in the head.

A bulldog out of the corner drops Mountie as the fans are going nuts here as they realize Piper has a real chance. Mountie sends him into the corner to take over and the jumping elbow connects for two. Piper pops back up and hammers away, followed by a backdrop to send Mountie flying. The atomic drop sends Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into an interfering Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. This was a case where it was all about the moment, as the Mountie was never going to be a major threat to beating Piper. The fans were with this the entire way and it was awesome to see Piper FINALLY get a title. No it wasn’t much of a match, but it doesn’t need to be but the point was the big moment and it more than worked.

Post match Piper gives Mountie the shock stick and gets the big AND NEW moment to an eruption. You can tell the fans are behind this and that’s awesome to see.

Piper loved that moment and it was the best day of his life….except maybe today.

From Dayton Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Money Inc. vs. Virgil/Big Boss Man

IRS and DiBiase get separate entrances (with Sensational Sherri coming to the ring with DiBiase) but Mooney calls the Money Inc. Virgil is the Million Dollar Champion. Boss Man shoves IRS around to start and Sherri is ticked off as Virgil and DiBiase come in. DiBiase doesn’t like the threat of fisticuffs and IRS offers a distraction to draw in the Boss Man

That’s enough for some evil double teaming and Virgil is in trouble (some things never change). DiBiase gets two off a suplex and IRS’ legdrop gets the same. Virgil fights up with a shot of his own and it’s back to Boss Man to hit a splash. It’s already back to Virgil for a top rope ax handle as everything breaks down. Sherri tries a shoe shot but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. It’s a perfectly decent tag match, though it also felt like it was something that belonged on a tape like this. Money Inc. would obviously get a lot better and were still figuring things out. Oddly the lack of Sherri helped them, as she didn’t really fit in here and would be much better off when she switched to Shawn Michaels not long after this.

Post match IRS yells at Sherri, who has to calm things down before DiBiase and IRS come to blows.

We get a day in the life of Jimmy Hart. He arrives in a rental car because the airline screwed up his limo. He goes into his hotel in Indianapolis and has to check all of his guys in. Most of his wrestlers have already arrived but his room won’t be ready for three hours. There is however a room ready in the basement, which he’ll take over nothing. We go to said basement, where Mountie needs help getting his shock stick working. IRS has also called, saying his plane was late and Mountie needs to just trust him.

Later, Money Inc. interrupt Hart when he is on the phone and ask about IRS’ briefcase. Hart gives him his newly initialed Tag Team Title and everyone is happy. After Hart asks someone about the Arsenio Hall Show and a movie, we cut to Hart asleep in his hotel room. The phone rings (Hart picks up a banana by mistake) and apparently DiBiase’s belt isn’t ready yet. And apparently the Nasty Boys have done…something.

Later, the Nasty Boys are warming up in the bathroom when Hart comes in, saying the bell rang and they need to go to the ring. Again later, Hart FINALLY goes to his hotel room while talking about how hard it is to manage this many wrestlers. And then his room key doesn’t work. I liked this, as it wasn’t exactly funny, but it was the kind of behind the scenes stuff you don’t often get. Of course managers have been a thing forever in wrestling and it’s kind of interesting to see what they do outside of the ring. It’s not some brilliant idea or classic moment, but it was nice for a five minute segment that went in a unique direction.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. New Foundation

Jimmy Hart is here with the Boys and gets chased off by Neidhart to start. Knobbs knocks him into the corner but Neidhart isn’t having that and sends both Boys outside. Hart hits a heck of a dive and moonsaults back inside as the Boys need a breather. Knobbs comes back inside and gets his arm cranked but goes to the eyes. Sags comes in and gets armbarred as well, with Hart driving a knee into the arm.

Neidhart gets to stay on the arm before handing it right back to Hart, who gets choked on the ropes for a change. Sags’ chinlock with a knee in the back doesn’t really do much good so Knobbs drops some elbows to keep Hart down. The reverse chinlock does on but Hart is right back up to slingshot Neidhart in with a double shoulder. Neidhart shoulders Knobbs for two but Sags throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:28.

Rating: C. There were some nice moments in there but you could only get so much out of a match with so many chinlocks in not very much time. That’s where a lot of these matches tend to go and to be fair, it’s better to have the Nastys keeping it basic here if they can’t do a brawl. The New Foundation is a better team than they get credit for, as they’re always going to be compared to the original Harts, which just isn’t fair. They were good at their own style though, even with those amazing pants.

Roddy Piper talks about beating Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III in front of 92,000 fans, with Jimmy Hart getting beaten up there too. And let’s look at the match!

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair. This is weird as Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes have redone the commentary, which just sounds so wrong after seeing Wrestlemania so many times. They go straight to the fight and Piper pulls out a belt to unload on Adonis. Hart tries to come in and gets sent into Adonis, allowing Piper to hammer away in the corner. Hart’s cheap shot from the floor takes Piper out though and Adonis hits a big clothesline.

Piper gets knocked outside and even Hart gets in a cheap shot. Back in and Piper tells him to bring it so Adonis slugs away, followed by the sleeper. Piper sends him into the corner but can’t escape and goes down, meaning it’s two arm drops…and Adonis lets go before the third, meaning Piper is still in it. Hart gets inside to celebrate but Piper is back up and avoids a big swing of the hedge clippers, which hit Adonis in his own face. Piper’s sleeper gets the win at 6:34.

Rating: B-. It’s always fun to see this match, but dang it makes me want to watch the original as the lack of Jesse Ventura takes something away. I do like that they threw in a classic match here, as it’s certainly more memorable than having the same midcard stuff that regularly populates these things. This was a nice flashback and ties in well with the Piper theme of the tape, but it does kind of make the rest of the lame stuff stand out.

Post match Brutus Beefcake comes in to give Adonis the haircut, with Piper loving the whole thing.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 23, 1991.

Undertaker vs. British Bulldog

This is a Fan Favorite request and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. Bulldog gets knocked into the corner to start, with Bulldog doing the slow look at him. Back up and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor, though of course he sticks the landing. A Stunner over the top rope drops Bulldog and Undertaker chokes away back inside.

Bulldog is knocked outside again but is quickly back inside to avoid an elbow. Undertaker goes with that annoying smother thing he did at this point and then falls on Bulldog to counter a slam attempt. The delayed vertical suplex (ok that’s not bad) connects, as does the powerslam, which draws Bearer up for the distraction. Undertaker gets in an urn shot for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. This is a match that could have worked a lot better with some more time and a bit less of the smother hold. Bulldog could make a heck of a comeback if he was given the chance but Undertaker hadn’t figured out a lot of his stuff just yet. The match was picking up near the end and that suplex was rather impressive.

Post match Bulldog clotheslines him outside for daring to try the body bag.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

This would have been a way different match about five years earlier. Martel poses to start and then hides behind the referee. The kick to the ribs is cut off though and Tornado sends him straight into the corner. A running clothesline sends Martel outside and Tornado rams the arm into the post. Back in and Tornado starts cranking on the arm but misses a charge to post his own shoulder. Martel goes up and dives right into the Claw, which is broken up in the ropes. That’s enough for Martel, who sprays Arrogance in Tornado’s eyes for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D+. The Tornado just did not have it anymore at this point and that was becoming more and more obvious every time he was in the ring. Martel is an incredibly talented star but there is only so much he can do when Tornado was basically sleep walking through the whole thing. It’s kind of amazing that Tornado lasted so long, because this wasn’t working in the slightest and pretty much never did after his initial appearances.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes so let’s go to Jake Roberts, who thinks snakes should be your pets. They’ll eat anything and you don’t have to feed them every day. We look at the famous cobra biting Randy Savage segment before Roberts shows us a bunch of snakes. And that’s it.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

Neidhart chases him up the aisle to start and they go back inside for a hearty shove. Skinner is right back with a running shoulder and a hiptoss before they’re back up for a standoff. A headlock works a bit better, only for Neidhart to send him crashing out to the floor again. That works so well that Neidhart does it again with a clothesline, meaning it’s time for the long for stalling.

Back in and Neidhart gets his own headlock, which does on for a little while until Skinner heads outside again. This time Skinner finds his alligator claw to hit Neidhart in the throat, setting up a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up so Skinner…grabs the same thing again. Neidhart fights up again and hits a flying shoulder, followed by some rams into the turnbuckle. They brawl out to the floor and that’s a time limit draw at 13:20. No time is given but just be grateful for what you get.

Rating: D+. They were making it pretty clear that it was there to get to the time limit and nothing else, which is something that makes sense in some matches. This however, was Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart and not one of those matches. Skinner wasn’t a big star but he would get the occasional Intercontinental Title shot, so you would think he could go over a tag guy like Neidhart in a singles match, but why do that when you can have a bizarre time limit instead?

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter vs. Natural Disasters

Jimmy Hart is here with the Disasters. Duggan and Typhoon start things off with Typhoon shoving him away. Three straight clotheslines put Typhoon down and it’s off to Slaughter, who actually backs him into the corner. It’s already back to Duggan, with Earthquake grabbing him from the apron so Typhoon can take over. Earthquake drives Duggan into the corner and drops the jumping elbow for two.

Typhoon chokes on the ropes and grabs a bearhug, followed by Earthquake’s backbreaker. Earthquake gets his own bearhug and then Typhoon comes back in…for a third bearhug. Since that has to be broken up rather quickly, Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and it’s Slaughter coming back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a double splash in the corner crushes Slaughter. Earthquake brings in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4 and wrecks everyone for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: D. You really shouldn’t be getting to a third bearhug in a match that doesn’t even make it to ten minutes (or most matches for that matter). That’s on top of a lame DQ ending, as again, neither Duggan nor Slaughter could take a pin from a pair of monsters. It’s another bad match to end the tape on a rough note, making me question the “classic” moniker.

Piper wraps us up and a Piper montage ends things.

Overall Rating: D+. This started off ok and then fell apart fast. It’s a bad sign when you have to go back to the previous decade to get what is probably the best thing on the whole tape. The matches were just kind of dull and the last few were pretty terrible. Piper is fun due to energy and charisma alone, but he can only do so much, even when he’s the biggest name on the whole thing. Find something else. Like Wrestlemania III. Or the 1992 Royal Rumble.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Lilian Garcia

Then it was time to change things. In this case, that’s going to be at the hands of Batista and John Cena, who are challenging for the World Titles. There isn’t exactly much of a secret that they’re getting the belts, but that has made for some great Wrestlemania moments before. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

Eh nothing wrong with getting everyone a DVD bonus credit. The Raw and Smackdown sides square off and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask…so Heidenreich punches him in the face as we officially start. Spike goes to the apron as there are so many people in the ring that they can’t move very much. Hurricane is out first (the fans disapprove) as Tazz talks about this being a team effort between Raw and Smackdown. I’m still not sure how but WWE would push that idea forever.

Reigns is gone too and Viscera gets knocked down, which doesn’t seem to be a great idea. Some people hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm, only for Masters to toss Scotty, Funaki and Spike in a row. Haas is out as well as the ring is at least clearing out a bit. Nunzio is on the floor but doesn’t seem to be out as things slow back down. Heidenreich (still in the mask) stops to eat a turnbuckle before clotheslining Venis out.

Dean is gone as well and Grenier follows him. There goes Rosey as Rhyno Gores Heidenreich from behind (OUCH). Rhyno is tossed out as well and Conway gets eliminated right after him to thin things out even more. The Raw and Smackdown guys square off, with Holly giving Regal an Alabama slam. Akio and Holly are tossed out and there goes Regal (who commentary doesn’t recognize). Tajiri mists Heidenreich, who can see well enough to kick London out.

Heidenreich is sent to the apron where he knocks out Tajiri before being kicked out by Snitsky. Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky as we’re down to Jindrak, Booker, Masters and Viscera. Masters dumps Jindrak and commentary tries to explain that Booker is down 2-1 because battle royals are suddenly team matches. Nunzio, who was never eliminated, comes back in and is tossed just as fast. Booker misses the side kick and gets caught in the ropes but manages to low bridge Viscera out. That leaves Booker with Masters and a superkick gives Booker the win at 11:19.

Rating: C. As usual, there’s only so much you can get out of this kind of a battle royal. It’s designed to get wrestlers on the card and it did that well enough. Booker winning is a fine way to get the crowd going and they weren’t out there very long. I could go for less of the Raw vs. Smackdown nonsense but that’s been a thing for years in WWE, even if it never really clicked.

Lilian Garcia sings America The Beautiful.

Since we’re in Los Angeles, we are officially going Hollywood and get a montage of the still incredible parody trailers, some of which are downright inspired.

We get the final trailer, featuring Steve Austin as Gladiator, which might be a stretch but getting Austin into something like this was a good move.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re friends and partners (even champions) but it’s time for a friendly match. No superhero for Mysterio this time as instead it’s more of a Mexican flag theme. Mysterio starts fast with a suplex but gets armdragged into an early armbar. A big catapult sends Mysterio outside but Mysterio gets back inside to avoid a baseball slide and we have a standoff.

Back in and they go to a test of strength with Mysterio’s monkey flip not getting him anywhere. Guerrero goes to a keylock to stay on the arm but Mysterio manages to get in another monkey flip. Mysterio is sent crashing outside though and the arm is banged up, which has Guerrero in a better move (as he slips into the heel role, which fit him much better).

A hard belly to back suplex sets up a surfboard, followed by an STF. That’s a bit too complicated though so Guerrero switches back to the standard armbar. Mysterio is able to send him outside though and the big twisting dive drops Guerrero again. Back in and a backbreaker puts Mysterio right back down but he’s able to block the third Amigo. The 619 is blocked as well though and Mysterio snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. More suplexes have Mysterio down but he avoids the frog splash.

They trade some rollups for two each but now Mysterio is up with the 619. After adjusting his mask (Mysterio was using a different kind of clasp here and it was driving him crazy throughout the match, with all kinds of noticeable adjustments), the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb (and Mysterio adjusts the mask again). Mysterio is down but comes up with a quick hurricanrana for the pin out of nowhere at 12:23.

Rating: B-. They were in a bit of a weird spot here as they are still great friends and didn’t want to go full blast, but not going full blast at Wrestlemania doesn’t exactly fit. Guerrero was getting a bit frustrated in there and that’s a sign for the future, as these two were going to be doing this for the next few months. It’s still a good match, but it was a slow first step in a big story, which might not be the best fit for Wrestlemania.

Post match respect is shown and everything is ok.

JBL, with the Cabinet, runs into HHH, with Ric Flair. They compare greatness and JBL tells HHH to get ready to lose the title for the tenth time tonight. HHH says if JBL keeps telling people how good he is, someone will believe him eventually. They’ll see who is still champion at the end of the night. My goodness the idea of those two having a match makes my skin crawl.

Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kane vs. Christian

And here’s something important as it’s the inaugural Money In The Bank. Benjamin is the Intercontinental Champion and Kane gets the still awesome entrance of the Hollywood set and the ladders being set on fire (even Kane seems to think it’s cool). The brawl starts in the aisle with Kane getting the better of things and going after the ladder. That’s broken up and Benoit and Benjamin suplex Kane on the floor.

Christian goes for the ladder but Jericho knocks him into the ring, which is the official start. Benjamin is in to hammer on Jericho, who knocks him right back down. A triangle dropkick hits Edge and Benoit, followed by a dive to take out the former. Christian is back in with a dive onto his three fellow Canadians. Benjamin is of course right there with an even bigger dive, followed by Kane’s dive onto everyone but Christian. Kane throws in the ladder but Jericho takes it away and gets to wreck various people.

Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in the process. Kane tries to chokeslam Benoit off the ladder but gets pulled into the Crossface. Edge breaks it up for no logical reason and gets Crossfaced as well, with Kane breaking that up as well. That’s not enough for Kane, who puts Benoit’s arm inside a ladder and crushes it a few times, only for Edge to drop Kane with a spear. Edge and Christian get back together for a bit, only for Benjamin to send Edge into a ladder in the corner.

A Stinger Splash crushed Edge against the ladder and Benjamin goes up, only for Jericho to cut him off. Christian sets up another ladder so Benoit climbs at the same time, with Edge setting up a third ladder next to them. Everyone but Kane is up until Christian pulls Benoit down with a DDT on the arm. Jericho is knocked down, leaving Benjamin to Exploder Edge down for the huge crash. Christian bridges a ladder into the standing one, with Jericho climbing up.

That lets Benjamin run up the bridge to clothesline Jericho off, sending him crashing out to the floor. Kane is back up though and it’s time to start wrecking people. Benjamin gets chokeslammed…well mostly onto the ropes as he crashes out to the floor. Christian’s lackey Tyson Tomko comes in to boot Kane but gets knocked over the top. Christian gets a hand on the briefcase but Kane shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down onto Tomko for a crazy crash (and thankfully not breaking Tomko’s leg in the process).

Kane and Jericho go up and knock each other off onto the ropes for another big spill. Benoit, with his arm dangling, goes up and Swan Dives onto Kane, which doesn’t seem so bright but that’s kind of par for the course for him. The bloody Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane down, only to get chaired in the arm by Edge. That’s enough for Edge to get the briefcase and win at 15:19.

Rating: B+. I still really like this one as the match hadn’t been bogged down by a bunch of cliches and having far too many people. Edge looked ruthless with the chair shot on the end and him stealing the briefcase (despite not breaking any rules) fit in perfectly. There are more than enough high spots and carnage here to make it work and it’s a rather fun bit of chaos.

Here is Eugene for a surprise appearance. He’s happy to be at Wrestlemania and talks about loving King Kong Bundy beating up a midget and the midget army getting together to go after him. This is the greatest moment of his life but here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari to interrupt. Hassan is livid, which Eugene thinks means he doesn’t like midgets. That sends Hassan into a rant about how he isn’t on the biggest show of the year and how prejudiced Hollywood has been over the years.

He’s never lost but he has to take a backseat to EUGENE? He will not stand for this and is going to create a Wrestlemania Moment. Hassan jumps the injured Eugene and the double beatdown is on. The camel clutch is locked in….and it’s HULK HOGAN walking that aisle to an absolute roar. Hogan cleans house of the villains, including shrugging off a chair from Daivari. The ring is cleared and Hogan poses as the fans eat this all up. Yeah it still works.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Randy Orton. Over the last few weeks, Orton has tried to show more of an edge and wants to kill the biggest legend of them all. Undertaker doesn’t take kindly to this and wants to hurt someone, which can’t go well for Orton.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

It’s Wrestlemania so we’ve got druids (one of which might be Kofi Kingston, who implied it was him but it might have been from a segment on Smackdown). Orton circles around to start and hits a quick dropkick, followed by a backdrop. Undertaker isn’t having that and knocks him to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to knock Undertaker off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and Orton tries to keep things slow but ducks his head, allowing Undertaker to hit the running DDT.

The corner clothesline hits Orton, who reverses Snake Eyes with an elbow to put Undertaker back down. The forearms to the chest just wake Undertaker up, which can never be a good thing. A clothesline puts Orton down (though he didn’t seem to be ready for it) for two and Undertaker grabs the dragon sleeper that he tried really hard to get over, to limited success. It’s only good for two arm drops here, as Orton reverses into a DDT for two. The chinlock (of course) goes on, which Orton switches into a sleeper, which Undertaker breaks up with a sleeper rather quickly.

Orton’s powerslam gets two and Orton is stunned at the kickout. Dude it was a powerslam. Calm down. The Last Ride out of the corner is blocked but the referee gets bumped. Another Last Ride is loaded up but here is Cowboy Bob Orton with a cast shot to the face, naturally for two.

The ticked off Undertaker comes up swinging, only to have to kick Bob down again. The chokeslam is loaded up…and countered into the RKO for a rather delayed two (if there was ever a point to end the Streak in this era, that was 100% it, with one of the best counters ever). Ever the moron, Randy tries a Tombstone and gets reversed into the real thing for the pin at 14:06 (that’s 13-0).

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times and I still feel bad when the RKO doesn’t finish it off. That was a perfect place to do it but dang they didn’t go that way. That being said, it’s still a heck of a match with Undertaker getting to show that he still has it. The Streak was a thing by this point and the idea of someone trying to take it out was becoming something huge, which would only get FAR bigger over the years.

We recap Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Christy Hemme. This translates to “Lita is injured and Christy is in Playboy so it’s as good as we can do”.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Hemme, with Lita (her coach), is challenging. Stratus even lays down for her to start before coming up with a shove. The one sided beating begins but Hemme blocks a Chick Kick. Lita offers a distraction and Hemme gets in a low blow (sure) so she can stomp away. Stratus is back up and they seem to get a bit confused so Stratus fires off some chops.

Hemme starts contorting and Lawler starts cheering, with Stratus hitting a spear to send her outside. Back in and a rollup gives Hemme two and she fires off some rather bad kicks. A reverse Twist Of Fate gets two and they fight over a rollup. Stratus has had it with this and kicks her in the head (area) to retain at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Well, they tried. The problem here is very simple: Hemme isn’t a wrestler and there isn’t much that can be done to get around that reality. Lita was only so much of a factor here, but again she could only do so much. There wasn’t much they could do here and the match wasn’t good, but you can only give them so much blame.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle. Michaels eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and Angle was ticked. He even brought up being tired of hearing about Michaels when he was the best amateur wrestler in the world back in 1996 and it’s time for him to prove his amazingness. On the other hand, it’s Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

They stare each other down to start and Michaels slaps him in the face, only to get wrestled to the ground without much effort. Michaels goes straight over to the ropes (in the same start, minus the slap, that Michaels would have with Shelton Benjamin about a month later) and we reset a bit. A headlock slows Angle down a bit and Michaels grinds away on that for a good while.

Angle finally gets up but gets hiptossed into a short armscissors as they’re definitely starting slowly. Back up and Angle drives him into the corner, where Michaels slugs away. That’s cut off again and the referee gets a bit too physical, allowing Angle to hit a forearm to the back. The ankle lock is broken up and Michaels clotheslines him out to the floor. It’s already time to load up the announcers’ table but Angle picks Michaels up for an Angle Slam into the post (the goal was for Michaels’ back to hit but it was more his hip, with the replay not helping).

Back in and Angle snaps off the suplex, followed by the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Angle loads up the belly to belly superplex but Michaels knocks him off. The top rope elbow misses though and Angle takes the straps down, only to have the Angle Slam countered with an armdrag. Michaels backdrops him to the floor and goes up for a crossbody, only to seemingly slip and make the landing even nastier than usual. Angle gets up to block the Asai moonsault but can’t German suplex him off the apron. Instead Michaels hits a springboard crossbody to crush Angle onto the table and they’re both down.

They barely beat the count and slowly slug it out, with Michaels hitting the forearm. Now the elbow can connect but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock (which is a pretty simple way to go but Michaels can be a bit dim at times). Michaels finally makes the rope and gets two off a rollup but the superkick is countered again. One heck of an Angle Slam gets two and Angle isn’t sure what to do. He goes intellectual by putting the straps back up so he can take them down again (that’s just brilliant) but misses a moonsault (which almost sound up being a moonsault headbutt).

Michaels goes up again and it’s a super Angle Slam for two, with the fans losing it on the kickout. Angle yells at him a lot and gets superkicked for his efforts. Michaels finally gets the cover but Angle gets the shoulder up at the last half second, with the fans not being pleased. They slowly get up and Angle snatches the ankle lock, with Michaels rolling around but he can’t escape. Angle even gets the grapevine and Michaels still hangs on for the better part of two minutes (GEEZ) before tapping at 27:30.

Rating: A-. That ending is one of the only things that holds this one back as otherwise it’s an absolute classic. This is one of those pairings where you can just put them in the ring and you know it’s going to be magic, which is exactly what happened here. The double strap pull down is still great and the match holds up rather well. I mean…it’s Michaels vs. Angle for almost half an hour at Wrestlemania. What more do you want?

And after that, let’s have Piper’s Pit. Piper thanks the fans for the honor of the Hall Of Fame, despite them not really having much to do with it. As for tonight, he wanted to talk to the baddest, meanest, low downest rattlesnake son of an unnamed goat in WWE. Who is the biggest rebel in WWE? Steve Austin? BULLS***!

Piper has to see this guy in person so here is Austin, for the first time in a good while. Austin gets in the ring, where Piper welcomes him to the Pit and then slaps him. Austin thanks Piper and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kinda like ya!” Piper says he respects Austin and is immediately thrown off by the WHAT chants. He likes what Austin has done with Vince McMahon over the years (and starts getting the rhythm right to deal with the chants) but he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number.

Piper agrees on everything else, but when it comes to being a rebel, Austin has nothing on him. Austin mocks Piper’s fashion sense and says he isn’t intimidated whatsoever. Piper goes to respond but Austin tells him to think about it…and here’s Carlito to be in WAY over his head. Austin and Piper accuse the other of having a plan but Carlito says they’re slapping each other like little girls. Neither of them are cool and everyone wants to see Carlito. Piper calls Carlito “Alfalfa” for his out of date reference of the night.

Carlito wants both of them out of here and loads up the apple, which Piper takes. Instead Piper takes a bite of the apple and spits it at Carlito, who comes up swinging. Austin makes the save and hits the Stunner on Carlito. Piper throws Carlito out, beer is consumed, and Piper gets Stunned too. All in all, a pretty complete wast of time as they didn’t have anything to say to each other and Austin didn’t seem to care.

Akebono vs. Big Show

This is a sumo match and the fans are basically silent for Akebono, mainly because he has nothing to do with WWE. The whole point of this is to have the sight gag of Big Show in a thong and that’s about it. They do the big ceremonial start, they grapple, Show almost gets him out, Akebono does get him out at 1:01. This was a thing that happened.

We recap JBL defending the Smackdown World Title against John Cena. It’s a straight up culture clash as JBL is the old school rich Texan while Cena is the modern star who had the spinner title and wears throwback jerseys. Cena won a tournament and the match was on, but they weren’t allowed to have any physical contact. Therefore, they both tormented the other to ramp up some tension.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is challenging while JBL gets a police motorcade and JBL bucks rain down from the ceiling. Cena starts fast with a running shoulder for a knockdown but JBL gets a boot up in the corner. That means JBL can hit his own running shoulder and Cena is in trouble for a change. The slow beating ensues, including JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Back up and JBL chokes on the ropes before Cena tries to fight back, only to charge into a spinebuster for two more. There’s another neckbreaker for another two, followed by a short arm clothesline for the same. JBL forearms him in the back and grabs the sleeper, with Cena finally suplexing his way out of trouble.

A double clothesline puts both of them down but Cena is sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and JBL takes him up top for the superplex but goes for a high crossbody for some reason, earning a powerslam out of the air. Cena initiates the comeback and it’s the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle. JBL gets a boot up in the corner but misses the Clothesline, allowing Cena to hit the FU for his first World Title at 11:27.

Rating: C. Yeah it’s historic as Cena gets the win to end the JBL title reign, but at the end of the day, it was a pretty boring match. JBL just could not back it up in the ring and that was on display here. Cena tried as hard as he could and had the fire in his eyes, but JBL never even had a big near fall to build some drama. Cena wins clean, but that’s all there was here and that didn’t quite carry it to greatness.

Post match Cena celebrates in the crowd in a clip that was on a lot of highlight reels.

We go to the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony from last night, with Hulk Hogan headlining and Roddy Piper getting in a nice speech. Iron Sheik doing his rambling and raving and Bobby Heenan going “WHAT THE H*** DID HE JUST SAY???” was great too.

Gene Okerlund presents the class of 2005:

Nikolai Volkoff (unfortunately not in the brown suit)
Iron Sheik (makes sense)
Paul Orndorff (who apparently intentionally left his plaque in his hotel room because it was cheap)
Bob Orton Jr. (the arm seems healed)
Jimmy Hart (you have to have him)
Roddy Piper (yep)
Hulk Hogan (they’re probably not here without him)

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Batista. They’ve been part of Evolution together but Batista has become a star, while HHH is still the focal point. It became clear that HHH only cared about keeping himself as the star but then Batista won the Royal Rumble. Before he could decide who to challenge, he overheard HHH and Ric Flair mocking him, which was enough for him to make the decision to challenge HHH. The thumbs up turning into a thumbs down as he chose to come after HHH is still great stuff.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and is played to the ring by Motorhead, with Lemmy mostly butchering the words. To be fair, it’s still a pretty awesome entrance and the belt looks extra shiny. Unfortunately this is before Batista got I Walk Alone so his entrance doesn’t have the same impact. We get an old school weapons check and we’re ready to go. They take turns shoving each other to start with Batista getting a bit of an advantage with the power game.

HHH’s running shoulder doesn’t work as Batista knocks him down so we’ll try a headlock instead. An early Pedigree attempt is countered into quite the slam and HHH needs to cool off a bit. Back up and HHH goes with the simple idea of hitting Batista in the face but Batista gives him a backdrop. The jumping knee puts Batista outside again, where Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps.

Back in and HHH chokes away so Flair does the same, with Lawler not seeing anything wrong with it. HHH rams Batista’s back into the barricade a few times and starts hammering away on it back inside. Some knees to the back set up a backbreaker and Flair chokes away again (JR losing it is great). Batista fights out of the corner but walks into the spinebuster for two. The neckbreaker gets two more but another Pedigree attempt is countered with a backdrop.

HHH facebusters him for two and goes up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. A sidewalk slam gives Batista two but he charges into a boot in the corner. Batista is fine enough to throw HHH into the corner and over the top for a big crash outside. Batista follows in a not so bright move and gets sent into the steps, with HHH taking him onto those steps for a Pedigree attempt. That’s countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got the fastest bleeding in history.

HHH’s bleeding head is rammed into more steps before they get back inside, where Batista has that look in his eyes. Batista just unloads with forearms to the cut, followed by a running corner clothesline. It works so well that Batista does it again, followed by a powerslam for two. HHH staggers out to the floor, where Flair’s distraction lets him grab a chair.

The referee takes it away but gets bumped in the process, allowing Flair to grab the belt. That earns him a spinebuster back inside so the referee gets rid of him, allowing HHH to get in a belt shot for two. Batista is back with the spinebuster but HHH goes low. The Pedigree is blocked AGAIN, with Batista even breaking HHH’s grip for a cool visual. Batista powers him up for an Air Raid Crash of all things and it’s thumbs down. The Batista Bomb finishes HHH at 21:34.

Rating: B. The goal here was to make Batista look like a huge deal and put him over for the World Title on the biggest stage of them all. That worked and it worked very well. You really couldn’t have asked for the result to be much better, though the match itself didn’t quite get all the way to greatness. It’s perfectly good though and that’s enough to get by, especially with the right result.

Post match Batista glares at HHH and Flair as they leave. Batista poses as the pyro goes off (that was on the opening highlight package for a long time).

The big highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. Again, the goal of this show was to get Cena and Batista over as the new generation and that happened. Everything else is pretty much a big bonus, with only the Women’s Title and sumo matches being downgrades. Angle vs. Michaels is pretty easily the match of the night, with some other rather good stuff included. I liked this more than I thought I would and it’s a rather strong show, with the big goal being more than accomplished.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

It’s interesting to see Wrestlemania as a one match show and that is basically the case here. While there are other things on the card, such as Diesel vs. Undertaker, which should be a heck of a fight, this is ALL about Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels in a one hour Iron Man match. What else could you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Iron Man match and nothing more. At least they’re not hiding what they’re doing here.

Commentary at least acknowledges some of the other matches.

Vader/Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna

If the latter team wins, Yokozuna gets five minutes with Jim Cornette, which is by far the biggest story here, with the other four just kind of there. Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start and the other four come in, with the good guys cleaning house. Vader gets knocked to the floor and Yokozuna helps launch Johnson over the top and onto him for a huge crash. Back in and Yokozuna wins another slugout with Vader but drives him into the wrong corner.

Hart tags himself in and dropkicks Yokozuna for some reason, earning a hard elbow to the face. Bulldog pulls Yokozuna out of the way of a charge though and the villains take turns stomping away. Vader just unloads on Yokozuna to knock him down in the corner, only to walk into what would become the Rock Bottom. It’s off to Johnson, who is quickly knocked down in the corner as the villains are right back in control.

Hart kicks him down and then hits the jumping kick to the shoulder, only to get planted down rather hard. Cue Mr. Fuji to wave the American flag as Johnson makes the tag off to Roberts. The snap jabs have Hart in trouble but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut off the charge. Bulldog’s front facelock doesn’t last long as Roberts gets up but Vader is back in to pummel away (in a preview of their Boy Meets World showdown). Hart’s good looking top rope elbow gets two and Vader crushes him for the same.

Bulldog comes back in but misses a legdrop, allowing Yokozuna to come in. The huge right hands have Vader down in the corner and a splash crushes him as well, with Vader waving Hart in as he collapses. Yokozuna’s Samoan drop puts Bulldog down and it’s back to Roberts but Bulldog saves Hart from the DDT. Everything breaks down and the DDT hits Hart, which draws in Cornette with the racket. Roberts cuts him off but Vader runs in for the save (with Roberts looking over his shoulder until Vader comes in) and the Vader Bomb finishes at 13:09.

Rating: C+. This was all about Yokozuna vs. Vader, with the other two just happening to be there. That didn’t make for the best match as Yokozuna could only do so much, though those big right hands looked devastating. It’s also beyond weird to set up the “five minutes with the manager” deal and then not have it but Vader looked like enough of a monster to make up for it…I guess.

We recap Goldust vs. Roddy Piper, which is all about Goldust being obsessed/possibly in lust with Piper, who wants to “make a man” out of Goldust. To say this is uncomfortable in a lot of ways is an understatement.

Marlena, with champagne on ice, is in the back.

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper

This is the Hollywood Back Lot Brawl, meaning they’re fighting in a lot outside. Goldust comes up in his gold Cadillac so Piper sprays it with a fire hose and beats on the car with a baseball bat. Goldust is sent into a catering table and smashed with a garbage can (complete with garbage for once), followed by a ram into a dumpster.

Piper rams him into various things and hits some VERY stiff sounding shots to the face, only to get hit low. Goldust jumps back in the Cadillac and hits a Piper shaped stunt man, who hangs onto the hood and crashes onto the ground. With Goldust gone, Piper jumps into a white Bronco (which Goldust hit on his way out) and the chase is on. It was certainly intense, but the Bronco aspect isn’t a good sign.

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Austin is still Million Dollar Champion and has Ted DiBiase with him, but he is Stone Cold. After a fired up Vega says he’s ready for anything, they slug it out to start and brawl on the mat. That’s not enough so they go outside, with Vega firing off some chops to take over. Back in and Austin drops some elbows before cranking away on the arms. Vega gets back up and kicks Austin in the face as Roddy Piper calls in to rant about chasing Goldust.

Austin goes back to the arm and sends it into the post but a reverse chinlock is quickly broken up. The armbar goes on again as Piper calls in again to promise to beat up Goldust again. Vega is back with a crossbody but Austin Thesz presses him for two (that’s so weird to see) and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. We go split screen to some footage of the OJ Simpson car chase, which is apparent Piper going after Goldust.

As for the Wrestlemania match going on at the moment, Vega kicks him in the face and hits a crossbody but Austin knocks him down again. Austin goes to the top (HUH?) but dives into a raised boot to leave them both down. Vega clotheslines away and tries a spinwheel kick, which hits the referee by mistake. DiBiase throws in the belt and Austin tries a Million Dollar Dream, only to get kicked in the face. DiBiase offers another distraction though and there’s a pair of belt shots to the head. Vega is out as Austin puts on the Million Dollar Dream for the win at 10:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the focus was on Piper’s car chase because that’s the “interesting” part. I get that it’s a bigger angle, but this is the kind of thing that belongs on Raw, not Wrestlemania. Austin was still figuring his stuff out here, as he was nothing compared to what he would wind up being, which was a rather necessary change.

Post match Austin won’t let go of the hold until a referee talks him out of it. As he and DiBiase leave, we get another shot of the OJ Simpson driving footage, which Vince says looks familiar. I’m already sick of this and the winking at the joke isn’t helping.

Diesel says he doesn’t sweat the big things or the little things either. He’s coming for Shawn Michaels next.

More car footage, with Lawler now saying it feels like deja vu.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Here’s an infamous one. Helmsley has a certain blonde with him, with commentary being rather impressed. Apparently her name is Sable. Lawler’s story of Warrior being 400lbs and bald is proven wrong as Warrior looks mostly like his old self. Helmsley jumps him to start fast and hits the Pedigree in less than forty seconds, with Warrior popping up. Warrior Warriors up, hits some clotheslines, and finishes with the gorilla press and splash at 1:39. And Helmsley has yet to live it down for the rest of his career.

We meet the debuting Wildman Mark Mero, who is ready to face the best around here. Helmsley comes in and bumps into Mero before yelling at Sable. Helmsley shoves Mero and the brawl is on to give Mero his first feud.

Piper and Goldust are still driving.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and they’re fighting after both of them cost the other the WWF Title. Also of note: you can see the clock for the Iron Man match over the Titantron during Undertaker’s entrance, which is quite the gaffe for a promotion that usually does well with production. They slug it out to start with Diesel knocking him into the corner for some elbows to the face.

Undertaker knocks him back down but misses the big elbow. Instead they go outside and Diesel is sent face first into the steps before they go back back inside. It’s way too early for the Tombstone so Undertaker actually goes aerial with a crossbody. The big running clothesline misses though and Undertaker rolls to the apron, where he’s fine enough to snap off a Stunner.

Back in and Undertaker punches him out to the floor, where a big chair shot only hits the post. Diesel is back with a ram into the post, which he does again because it’s Wrestlemania. A running knee cuts off Undertaker from getting back inside so Diesel tosses him back in, which seems a bit contradictory. Back in and a big boot puts Undertaker down again, followed by the side slam for two.

Snake Eyes sets up the running crotch attack in the ropes and Diesel if looking rather cocky. Undertaker tries to fight back and they hit stereo big boots to put them both down again. Diesel is fine enough to grab a bearhug, which stays on until Undertaker manages a belly to back suplex. Undertaker’s top rope rope clothesline gets two but Diesel gets in a shot to the back.

A quick Jackknife connects (as audio messes up, with quite the feedback) but Diesel spends too much time trash talking, allowing Undertaker to sit up. Another Jackknife connects, with Diesel mocking Bearer this time. That earns Diesel a grab around the throat so he punches Undertaker back down. Undertaker gets up again and grabs him by the throat, only to get suplexed. That doesn’t work either, as Undertaker gets up, hits a chokeslam and Tombstones Diesel for the win at 16:46.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of Wrestlemania match for Undertaker, as he was finally facing someone who was giving him a realistic threat (give me a break on Giant Gonzalez being someone who could beat him). Diesel was not that far removed from around a year long reign as WWF Champion and was still the top heel in the company. They had a good enough power match, with Undertaker surviving Diesel’s best stuff and winning in the end, which is quite the boost to the Streak.

The zoom out shot of Diesel out cold on the Wrestlemania logo is still awesome.

Rhodes and Piper return, with Piper’s Bronco hitting Goldust’s Cadillac on the way in. Goldust tries to escape, with Marlena consoling him, but Piper chases them off (with the camera catching Diesel just chilling) and they come into the arena. They get inside with Goldust getting in a cheap shot and rubbing his (own) chest. Goldust picks him up for a rub of the back of Piper’s jeans, which has Piper fighting back until a low blow cuts him down again.

Piper gets his shirt torn off and Goldust uses it to choke, but the threat of a kiss has Piper fighting back. Goldust goes up and gets crotched, but manages to kiss Piper anyway. That’s too far for Piper, who goes off on Goldust and rips his gear off, revealing Goldust’s bizarre lingerie. Piper hits him low and Goldust runs, covering his chest on the way out. This was every bit of the stupid mess you would expect, though the fans seemed to love Piper, as usual.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Shawn Michaels in the one hour Iron Man match. They’ve followed similar paths to get here and Michaels apparently has a boyhood dream of being the WWF Champion (ignore that he wouldn’t have been watching the WWF as a boy who didn’t grow up in the northeast). Hart is basically billed as the perfect wrestler while Michaels is just talented enough to give him a threat. They’re going for an hour, most falls win.

Gorilla Monsoon is officially the President of the WW, which was kind of a perfect spot for him at this point.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending in a one hour Iron Man match. Michaels’ manager Jose Lothario comes out with no Michaels, but he points to the rafters. That gives us one of the most iconic entrances of all time, as Michaels ziplines down from the top of the arena and lands in the crowd before coming to the ring. Yeah it still works. Hart comes out as well and we get a long explanation of the rules to really make this feel more important.

Hart goes for an early takedown but Michaels wrestles him right back down and they stand off again. A headlock works a big better for Hart and it’s time to start burning some clock. Michaels fights up and gets taken back down as we’re over six minutes in. Michaels is back up with some armdrags into an armbar, with Hart’s escape just landing him in a hammerlock. Back up and a headscissors out of the corner sends Hart outside at about the ten minute mark for the first big spot.

Hart gets back in and sends Michaels over the ropes for some cat skinning, earning Michaels a knee to the ribs. The chinlock goes on again but Michaels is back up, only to pull him into a Fujiwara armbar. Hart fights up again and takes Michaels down, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Michaels whips him into the timekeeper’s area and tries the superkick, which kills the timekeeper dead at the fifteen minute mark.

Back in and Hart grabs a chinlock as commentary tries to get some help for the out cold timekeeper. After a few minutes, Michaels gets up and armdrags him down, only to get clotheslined into another chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long as Michaels is up with a dropkick into another armbar. Michaels pulls him down to cut off a comeback as this is just the two of them laying around in holds to burn time.

Back up and Hart gets taken down with a shoulderbreaker, followed by some whips into the corner. Hart fights up with some right hands but gets dropped with a DDT on the arm. Michaels cranks on the arm some more but gets catapulted into the post for a rather delayed two. Well at least they did something different. Michaels fights back but Hart goes up for a driving knee to the back of the head. Back up and Hart grabs a piledriver for two (Lawler: “How’d he kick out of a piledriver???”) as we’re over halfway done.

Michaels gets up for a hurricanrana and hammers away but it’s too early for the superkick. A backbreaker gives Michaels two and Hart has to bail to the floor before the superkick can launch. That means Michaels gets in a great looking dive to put them both down on the floor. Back in and Hart rolls through a high crossbody for two but Michaels rolls him up for the same.

Michaels grabs a sleeper and Lawler asks the logical question of what happens if Hart goes out: does he get counted out over and over or can you get a bunch of consecutive covers? Naturally McMahon has no idea, even though it’s a rather valid question. Hart flips out but gets elbowed and kicked in the face to knock him back down. Michaels charges into a backdrop over the top and wipes out a cameraman for one heck of a great shot.

For some reason Hart brings him back inside (Lawler can’t believe the stupidity) and starts in on the back, including a middle rope elbow. A Banzai Drop to the back lets Hart whip him into the corner, with Michaels flipping up into position for a belly to back superplex. We’re off to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Michaels reverses into a rollup for two. Hart stays calm and goes to the back again before knocking Michaels out of the air.

Back up and Michaels is thrown over the top, where he lands on Lothario, little to Hart’s chagrin. Hart takes him back inside for a belly to belly suplex and another near fall. The O’Connor roll gives Michaels two and the kickout sends him outside. That means Hart can hit a suicide dive, followed by a German suplex for two back inside. Hart slowly hammers away and we’re back to the reverse chinlock with ten minutes left. The hold eats up over two minutes until Michaels fights out for a double clothesline.

Michaels goes up so Hart superplexes him down for the big crash and they’re both down with six minutes left. A half crab sends Michaels to the rope so Hart gives him another backbreaker. Hart goes up and dives into some raised boots so they can breathe again. Michaels sends him hard into the corner and comes back with the forearm into the nipup, leaving Lawler stunned at the comeback. A spinning top rope ax handle gives Michaels two as we have three minutes to go.

The top rope elbow gives Michaels two and a nice gutwrench powerbomb gets the same with two minutes to go. Michaels’ top rope moonsault press gets another near fall as the fans are getting into this again. The middle rope hurricanrana gives Michaels two and he goes up again, only to dive into the Sharpshooter with thirty four seconds to go. Michaels screams a lot but manages to hang on as time expires at 1:00:00.

Hold on though as Monsoon says we’re not done, because THERE MUST BE A WINNER. Hart is not happy at all, which is fair as he survived the hour at a tie, which should go to the champion. Either way we’re going to sudden death overtime. The ticked off Hart hammers away on the back and hits a backdrop as it’s time to blow off some steam. Michaels gets sent into the corner and jumps over Hart, finally hitting the superkick (the first time as a fan that I actually jumped out of my chair watching wrestling). Hart gets up first but Michaels is right there for another superkick for the pin and the title at 1:01:50.

Michaels – 1
Hart – 0

Rating: C. There are very few matches in WWE history as debated as this one and I can see why. On one hand, it’s impressive that they went a whole hour and Michaels did get the big win, with the last few minutes and overtime being rather good. The problem here boils down to everything else, as it just wasn’t that interesting. Rather than having a good match that lasted an entire hour, it felt like they were trying to do whatever they could to get through an hour.

That made for a lot of laying around in holds, which might have made sense but it didn’t make for an entertaining match. This would have been far better as a one fall match that happened to go for about forty five minutes, as it adds more drama and doesn’t spend so much time burning clock. It’s far from some kind of a disaster, but it’s not that interesting and there are LONG stretches that didn’t keep me interested whatsoever.

Post match Hart is livid as Michaels is awarded the title and glares at him on the way up the aisle. Michaels gets all emotional and then celebrates a lot to end the show.

We get the long highlight package to wrap it up, set to the still outstanding Pump It Up Wrestlemania theme.

Overall Rating: C. This show was the definition of a one match card, with Undertaker vs. Diesel being a very distant second. The Michaels stuff (from the entrance to the win) is very memorable, but it needed something else to make the whole thing work. It’s far from a bad Wrestlemania, but it’s not remembered very fondly. I get the different lines of thinking on the main event, though it wasn’t enough to carry the show. Not awful, but definitely in the bottom half of Wrestlemanias.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: C+

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2026 Redo: C+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: C

Well that’s a big drop for the Iron Man match and…yeah despite the consistent B’s beforehand, I really do not see it being that high. Maybe I’m just getting cranky over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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Wrestlemania VIII
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the names mentioned for a possible redo so I’ll throw it in as a bonus. On his podcast, Bruce Prichard mentioned this as one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever and I’m really not sure why. The show features a double main event with Ric Flair defending the WWF World Title against Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan’s possible retirement match against Sid Justice. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon gives us the big over the top introduction as only he can do. It only talks about the double main event but really, nothing else is worth talking about.

Gorilla and Bobby (with a VERY visible section of empty seats between their heads, which will be a recurring problem tonight) intro the show with Heenan looking for the pictures. Those would be promised “centerfolds” of Elizabeth, which Ric Flair has promised. More on this later.

Reba McIntyre singes the Star Spangled Banner. It’s odd to hear anything but America the Beautiful.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito is a bullfighter (it didn’t work then either) and Heenan says he’s McIntyre’s sister. Heenan: “That’s arriba McIntyre!” Shawn has Sherri with him and we get a cool shot from behind with Shawn looking up at the huge stadium. This is his first singles Wrestlemania so it’s quite the big moment for his career. Heenan thinks Shawn is a future Intercontinental Champion. He’s a few months early but he certainly can call things.

We get a long stretch of Sherri leaving and some trash talk before we actually do anything because stalling is a thing on stadium shows too. They start fast (once they start that is) with Tito getting two off a crossbody and headlocking him to the mat. Shawn gets sent outside in a heap and that means it’s time for the over the top selling. We hit the headlock again and MY GOODNESS there are some half empty sections very visible in the upper deck. If that happened today, the production staff would all be fired.

Tito pops him in the jaw and Sherri is panicking at the thought of Shawn’s face being damaged. It’s back to the headlock and Shawn can’t even throw him off with a lift into the air. Heenan swears that he’s won a match with a headlock and that someone even gave up during instructions.

Back up and Shawn finally throws him over the top for a huge crash to take over. A backbreaker keeps Tito in trouble as Sherri is taking her glove off for some reason. We hit the chinlock and even more of those empty sections are shown. There’s almost no angle you can show here that doesn’t display them and it’s really distracting. Tito fights up but charges into the superkick (not yet a finisher) and Heenan declares no more tacos tonight.

The Teardrop Suplex is broken up and Tito scores with his flying forearm (Heenan: “That’s the Flying Jalapeno!”) to send Shawn outside. Back in and Tito slugs away, allowing Shawn to do the overblown Wrestlemania selling for the first time. El Paso Del Muerte (jumping forearm to the back) sends Shawn to the floor and Tito tries a suplex, only to have Shawn grab the rope and fall on top for the pin at 10:38.

Rating: B-. Good opener here as Tito is one of those guys who is always good for a solid performance. Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise here (give someone Sherri if you need them to get a rocket attached to their back) and a win in a competitive match was a good start. Solid match here and that’s all it needed to be.

Gene Okerlund is on the platform and brings out the Legion of Doom for an interview, including manager Paul Ellering. Paul talks about the need to put the team together in the first place and now revenge has brought them back together. He’s not here to get rich but to get even. Animal talks about facing and defeating adversity and now it’s time to get revenge on everyone, including Jimmy Hart and Money Inc.

Hawk says they’re a runaway train and now, look who’s driving the train. Paul wraps it up by saying they’re going to earn their money the old fashioned way: beating people for it. They want the titles back and don’t care who they have to beat to get them back. Ellering was good for the team in the NWA but I have no idea why he was needed here. Or why he’s somehow back in WWE twenty six years later.

Jake Roberts isn’t bringing a snake back to the ring but he will recap his feud with Undertaker. He’s gone full evil to go after Ultimate Warrior but since Warrior left the company, Undertaker turned face on Jake, setting up the match. Jake trapped Undertaker’s hand in the casket on the Funeral Parlor and laid Bearer out with a DDT, followed by a chair shot to Undertaker. Evil Jake was awesome but this was a bit of a different kind of animal.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

I love that pulling himself up from the corner thing that Jake does. Diamond Dallas Page borrowed it from him and it’s not all that surprising. Jake slugs away to start and reality sets in very quickly. A running right hand puts Undertaker on the floor but Jake gets pulled outside as well. The beating is on and the fans are WAY into a fired up Undertaker.

Back in and Jake’s right hands still don’t have much effect so Bobby starts making Munsters references. Better than the Addams Family at least. Undertaker starts choking but Jake grabs a quick DDT and you can feel the fans react. Then Undertaker sits up and it’s very clear that this is something different. Another DDT drops Undertaker again but this time Jake goes after Bearer….as Undertaker gets up again. That means a Tombstone on the floor and Jake is DEAD for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. This was around the time where the Undertaker would start to be the kind of attraction that the company wanted him to be. It’s clear that there’s something very different about him and beating a big name like Roberts was a great way to push him towards that goal. I mean, beating Hogan less than six months ago did it even more so but still, awesome booking here. This was Jake’s last match with the company until 1996 as he was turned down for Pat Patterson’s job and left as a result.

Roddy Piper and Bret Hart are in the back with Roddy talking about growing up together when Bret was a bit dumb. Apparently Mrs. Hart would make them sandwiches but Bret finally cuts him off. They’re supposed to have a nice contest for the Intercontinental Title but Bret wants to be serious. That’s fine with Roddy and the match is on. Bret lost the title due to wrestling with a high fever and Piper won it almost immediately. This is Bret’s big rematch and one of the most intriguing matches on the show.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. The first minute is spent with Piper taking off his kilt and some instructions from the referee. Never let it be said that Wrestlemania doesn’t know how to waste time. Piper armdrags him down to start as Monsoon actually analyzes the match, which isn’t something you get from most other announcers. Heenan’s idea: waffle the other guy with a tire iron.

Piper tries some amateur wrestling and is quickly sent outside in a huff. Back in and Piper spits at Bret and Heenan wants an apology right now. Bret wins a battle of the wristlocks and Piper can’t chop his way to freedom. Monsoon says thirty countries are watching the show live, lists off three of them, and then stops for a good fifteen seconds of silence. A running dropkick drops Piper but Bret comes up holding his shoulder. Heenan sees right through it (Bobby: “WHAT A GREAT MOVE!”) and Roddy is REALLY not happy.

Bret comes back with a running crossbody and they fall out to the floor at the same time. Piper is up first and holds the ropes for Bret but naturally gets in a cheap shot to take over. Well you know he’s the most natural heel ever so it’s not exactly a surprise. A bulldog gives Piper two and Bret is busted open (which he lied about, claiming that it was a hardway cut to save his job) somewhere in there.

Bret is fine enough to get two off a sunset flip and Heenan is begging for some more violence. A slugout goes to Piper so Bret hits a running forearm to knock him outside. Back in and a double clothesline puts them both down with Piper’s head landing on Bret. Heenan wants a count but Monsoon accurately says all four shoulders are down so there can’t be a pin. So much for the Brain.

Bret is up first with the Five Moves of Doom but Piper blocks the Sharpshooter. The middle rope elbow hits a raised boot and Piper has an opening. The referee gets bumped though and Bret is sent face first into the steps. Piper grabs the bell but can’t bring himself to do it (Heenan: “GIVE IT TO ME! I’LL HIT HIM!”), instead grabbing a sleeper. Bret climbs the corner and flips backwards onto Piper for the pin and the title at 13:52.

Rating: A-. This is the match that you point at when you need to prove that Piper can put on a good match when he’s given the chance. Bret winning the title back here was all that this should have been and the classic made it an even better moment. That ending would be used several times over the years and is rather famous in its own right, which is rather fitting when it comes from a classic wrestler like Bret. Great match here and another example of how talented both of them really are.

They shake hands to make it clear that Piper is still on the good side.

Heenan sends us to Atlanta, Georgia and the home of future WBF Bodystars Champion Lex Luger. Lex is his usual smug self and praises Bobby while calling Gorilla fat. Luger takes off his shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and Heenan is WAY too excited. He has some milk to wrap this up with Monsoon not exactly being impressed. Monsoon: “You found someone even more conceited than you are!”

The Mountie, the Nasty Boys and Repo Man are excited for the eight man tag.

Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Virgil and Big Boss Man are excited for the eight man tag. Remember that Slaughter was main eventing the show last year.

Comedian Ray Combs is guest ring announcer for said eight man tag and of course he has some jokes. Since we can’t survey who will be good or evil (yeah you can), he’s asked 100 people (the gimmick of his Family Feud game show) about some of the people in the match. The Mountie is dumb like the Three Stooges, Repo Man is ugly and looks like a girl and the Nasty Boys are only successful because they’re lucky. With that he’s chased off and we’re ready to go.

The Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan/Big Boss Man/Virgil

The good guys clean house with elbows and clotheslines as Heenan plugs some WWF names being on Family Feud. So there’s your cross promotion. Hang on though: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Monsoon: “WHO CARES?” Well Shawn might. Anyway we settle down to Sags vs. Duggan with Jim firing off some clotheslines. I mean, as much fire as Duggan is going to have.

Slaughter comes in for some clotheslines of his own to Knobbs before dropping to his knees for an elbow to the ribs. What an odd visual. It’s off to Boss Man for a wind up uppercut but he misses a splash on Repo Man. Repo jumps onto Boss Man’s back, shouts ONE MORE TIME, and jumps right into a low blow.

Virgil, with a broken nose, comes in and gets taken down without much effort. Even Heenan is running out of ways to make fun of the people in this match because Virgil is such a joke in the first place. Sags hits a pumphandle slam but Boss Man comes in with a spinebuster as everything breaks down. Some heel miscommunication sees Sags hit Knobbs to give Virgil the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D. Wrestlemania was different back then, which might be the biggest understatement of the wrestling year. This was a house show match to pop the crowd but here it served as a way to let them cool down a bit after the title change. At least it served a purpose, but it feels so out of place on here.

Flair and his executive consultant Mr. Perfect look at the blown up picture of Liz (we can’t see it of course) with Flair swearing it’s real. Ric talks about the bright lights and the big city where Savage will try to reclaim the biggest trophy of them all. After Savage takes the beating of his life, Savage can look up and see the pictures just like everyone else. Then Liz has one more shot at Space Mountain. Perfect: “Can I come along with you this time champ?”

Savage won’t grant interviews.

Since the company doesn’t feel the need to explain the story, the idea here is Flair claimed to have been with Liz before she met Savage. As Savage is completely crazy most days and even worse when it comes to her, this sent him into the rage of all rages and set up the angle after the match was made, which is always odd. Anyway, Flair has promised to show some rather private pictures of Liz, which have only been referenced about a hundred times in the first hour and ten minutes of the show.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and wearing red, meaning he’s likely losing (Look it up. He almost never wins a big match when he’s wearing red.). Heenan instantly says that to be fair to Flair, you have to say that’s a great robe, giving Monsoon one of his best ever WILL YOU STOP’s. Savage jumps Flair in the aisle until Perfect drags him off the champ. Heenan sums things up very well: Savage wants to hurt Flair rather than win the title so things should be going fine for Flair (and Heenan, who was in full on Flair fanboy mode here).

Flair tries an atomic drop and gets his head taken off with a clothesline. A backdrop sends Savage to the floor with one of his trademark great bumps. Savage is already favoring his back so Flair stomps away as Heenan goes into one of the best, longest rants I’ve ever heard him give on Flair not losing. Flair gets two off a suplex (Heenan: “An eighty year old woman could have counted faster than Hebner!”) and the belly to back version is good for the same. A chop takes Savage right back down and Flair drops him back first onto the apron.

Another suplex gets another two as they’ve moved to a rather slow pace. Savage manages to get in a neckbreaker and Heenan needs a drink. The required slam off the top keeps Flair in trouble and Heenan is begging for Flair to do something. I know I’m talking about Heenan a lot in this match but he’s absolutely amazing here. The Flair Flip sends Ric to the top but he dives into a clothesline for two and Heenan….well I think you can figure this one out from here.

Savage sends him outside and hits an ax handle to drive Flair into the barricade. With Flair falling down, we get one of the most obvious blade jobs you’ll ever see (nearly getting him fired in the process). Back in and Savage hammers away with another ax handle getting two. The big elbow connects but Perfect pulls Savage out at two. Thank goodness that wasn’t a DQ or they might have burned the dome down.

Perfect gets dragged in and the referee gets bumped for a few seconds, allowing Perfect to throw Flair an object. That’s only good for two as well so Perfect nails Savage in the leg with a chair. Cue Liz with a host of suits (including Shane McMahon in one of his first on-screen appearances) trying to stop her. Flair goes into his usual leg work routine and the Figure Four goes on. Heenan: “SHOW ME THE PICTURES!”

Perfect grabs the hand so the referee kicks it away, allowing Savage to turn it over and break the hold. A small package gives Savage two (and a GREAT false near fall with the crowd gasping) but Flair goes back to the knee. Savage blocks a right hand though and a rollup (with trunks) gives Randy the title back at 17:58.

Rating: A. I got WAY into this match watching it back and was having a great time with everything. The crowd completely bought into Savage’s quest for revenge with the title just being a bonus prize. All the cheating was great stuff with Savage overcoming all odds, partially due to the inspiration from Liz. The match was even different from the usual stuff with Savage having long stretches of control, which you almost never see in a match like this. Really great stuff here and an underrated classic. If nothing else just listen to Heenan’s commentary.

Post match Heenan bails from the booth and Flair tries to kiss Liz. That earns him a bunch of slaps to the face as everything goes crazy. Perfect takes Savage down and Flair goes after the knee as all the suits are powerless to stop anything. Savage fights up and cleans house before finally being announced as the new champion.

Perfect claims a handful of trunks (accurate) and says that’s not how a macho man would act. Heenan comes in and says there’s nothing to worry about because it’s all on tape. Flair says tonight, a man is going to walk around Indianapolis claiming to be the real World’s Champion and to have the love of Liz. Perfect talks about Savage taking a shortcut, which Flair has NEVER done. Perfect: “Just like his old lady! A cheater!” Ric promises to get the title back and kiss Liz whenever he sees her.

Savage can barely walk and says this isn’t done. Today was just a piece of what Flair has coming to him because he hasn’t been beaten up properly. Flair has somehow made him even madder than he was so it doesn’t matter where it is, but Ric is getting the beating he deserves. Liz isn’t allowed to say if she’s been vindicated as Savage gives her the belt, saying it’s hers. Savage if Flairs though and this is just a piece. GREAT stuff here from Savage who can play the crazed man like few others (and I use the term “play” loosely).

We recap Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan. Hulk had been named #1 contender and Sid wasn’t happy. Therefore he turned on Hogan during a tag match and went on a major rampage, including destroying the Barber Shop set. That was enough to change Wrestlemania as Hogan wanted to fight Sid instead. Hogan has also teased that this might be his last match, which translates to “steroids are becoming a big issue and Hogan isn’t the cleanest looking guy in the world”.

Intermission keeps going with some members of Tatanka’s tribe dancing in the ring.

Rick Martel has some reservations about Tatanka because he’s still outside scalping tickets.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Yes this is on Wrestlemania as it’s just a different time. Martel knees him in the ribs to start as Heenan issues a statement on it being a matter of time until they get the title back. He lists off all of his jobs in the Flair organization with Monsoon only responding with “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan offers to put em up and Monsoon laughs it off.

Tatanka elbows his way out of trouble and sends Martel shoulder first into the post. A choke takedown drops Tatanka as we’re still waiting on the announcers to acknowledge the match going on. Martel sends him hard to the floor as Monsoon says “Ric Flair” is giving a wrestling lesson right now. Rick heads up but gets crotched, setting up the comeback and a crossbody to pin Martel at 4:31.

Rating: D. Just a filler match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Today it would be a quick comedy match or something so it’s hard to argue with something being in this spot on the card. Martel feels out of place here, though there’s nothing wrong with having a solid hand like him on the roster. You’re going to get least a watchable match out of him and this did its job, albeit not in the most entertaining way.

Tag Team Champions Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and IRS with new manager Jimmy Hart) is ready to take care of the Natural Disasters. Hart jumped from the Disasters to Money Inc. and has told them all of the Disasters’ secrets. It’s not a bad idea and it’s not like it’s hard to boo Money Inc.

The Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) are ready for revenge and the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending. IRS starts with Earthquake but bails in very short order as Heenan complains about all the noise here. Some hard shoves send DiBiase into the corner before the champs are rocked with some big clotheslines. After a meeting with Jimmy, it’s IRS getting his arm hammered by Earthquake.

Typhoon comes in for a hiptoss and it’s his turn to get tossed into the corner. Completely one sided so far as Gorilla keeps mocking Heenan over Flair’s loss. Typhoon finally misses a splash in the corner and it’s off to DiBiase. We get an awkward looking sequence where DiBiase doesn’t seem ready to low bridge Typhoon to the floor. No worries though as they do it again a few seconds later (erg) and this time Typhoon goes over.

A double clothesline (somehow to the back of the head as Typhoon can’t even run the ropes properly) sets up a front facelock as this is dying before my eyes. Back up and Typhoon gets in a clothesline for his own for the ice cold tag to Earthquake. Everything breaks down and DiBiase is clotheslined to the floor. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but IRS is pulled to the floor and it’s an intentional countout to retain the titles at 8:37.

Rating: F. WOW this was terrible and the fans clearly didn’t care. Can you blame them though? Not only was it boring but on top of that it was full of botches and had a house shoe level finish. Just horrible stuff here and in the running for worst Wrestlemania match ever. That’s some rather elite company and I have no idea why they thought this was a good idea.

Brutus Beefcake is here to support Hulk Hogan because Hulkamania will live forever.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

Oh come on GET TO THE MAIN EVENT ALREADY! Skinner jumps him from behind to start and hits a quick shoulder breaker. The reverse DDT gets two on Owen but he skins the cat and grabs an O’Connor Roll to pin Skinner at 1:08. Absolute filler.

Sid cuts off Gene Okerlund, calling him a short, bald headed little oaf. He’s going to destroy Hulkamania once and for all. We go to a sitdown interview with Hogan where he says he’s just not sure if this is his final match or not. Vince, conducting the interview, shakes his hand and thanks him for everything. Sid promises to destroy every Hulkamaniac because he rules the world.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Sid has Harvey Whippleman in his corner. Hogan gets the big entrance and the fans are as into it as they’ve been in a good while but Sid jumps him from behind. In one of the most underrated Hogan sequences ever, he does a mini Hulk Up, punches Sid to the floor, and clotheslines him off the apron to send Sid outside. You can feel the power of Hulkamania and my goodness it works so freaking well all over again.

We settle down to Sid choking and hammering in the corner but Hulk is right back with more right hands. The fans are ALL OVER this and Sid bails to the floor for a minute. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Hogan going down. As the fans all reconsider their place in life, Hogan fights up but gets knocked into the corner. Hogan is in trouble again and gets sent to the floor for some shots to the back from Harvey’s medical bag.

Sid grabs a nerve hold and it looks like Hogan is taking a nap. Sid’s powerbomb sets up Hogan’s fish out of water selling and it’s time for the Hulk Up. Heenan: “THEY’RE BOTH NUTS!” The big boot and a slam (not exactly impressive on Sid) set up the legdrop….for two, as the scheduled run-in was mistimed (on purpose, as the company decided to make Hogan look bad in case it was his last match). Instead Harvey comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: D-. I know the wrestling is pretty terrible but my goodness some of those Hogan comebacks felt like the old days. The fans helped this one a lot and the opening was just too much to call this a failure. It felt like a house show match and that’s completely unacceptable for a Wrestlemania main event, but at least it had some great moments.

Post match Papa Shango (the scheduled run-in) comes out for the double beatdown but the Ultimate Warrior makes his return after about eight months away for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is all over the place as it goes from very good to horrible all night long. The ending with Warrior returning is more than enough of a combination with the two great matches to make the show work though and really, some of the bad matches are short enough that they don’t mean much. It doesn’t mean much in the long term as this was a VERY weak time for the company, but better times were coming in the forms of Bret and Shawn. For one last hurrah for the old guard though, it worked as a fun show, albeit one that needed a very powerful fast forward button.

Ratings Comparison

Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Jim Duggan/Virgil/Sgt. Slaughter/Big Boss Man

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D

Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Skinner vs. Owen Hart

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2018 Redo: B-

Nothing really out of the norm there and I’ve liked the show every time.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/15/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-8-hogan-who-needs-the-bald-man/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/17/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-viii-show-me-the-pictures/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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