Global Warfare
Date: 1993
Host: Jimmy Hart
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

This is one of the Coliseum Videos released on the WWE Vault and I’m not sure what it’s going to be. It’s not the best time for the company as it’s in a transitional phase, with the New Generation coming in. That could go in a variety of ways and hopefully they don’t live down to this era’s reputation. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features bombs going off around the world as we seem to have a theme.

Jimmy Hart welcomes us to his home and says he’s excited about global warfare. That’s quite the odd statement to make. No one should know more about global warfare than him. That’s another quite the odd statement to make. Anyway, he talks about the theme songs (admitting he wrote them) of some of the wrestlers on the tape and brags about his music career. And now, to the first match.

From Sheffield, England, April 11, 1993.

Intercontinental Title: Crush vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and this is from the UK Rampage 1993 show, which was only so good overall. Crush powers him around to start as the fans are already doing their deal with the horns, which can get rather annoying in a hurry. Some more power sends Michaels into the corner and Crush grabs him with a bearhug to take over again. A backbreaker has Michaels in more trouble but he wins a chase around the ring and hammers away.

Crush grabs a gorilla press slam and holds him there for WAY longer than should be done before sending Michaels outside. Back in and a knee to the back knocks Crush outside, where Michaels gets in a posting to really take over for the first time. A DDT gives Michaels two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Crush blocks the superkick, setting up a legdrop…which sends Michaels bailing for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C-. Yeah what else were they supposed to do here? Crush was on a roll and teasing getting the big Lex Luger push but you don’t want him to win the title. At the same time, it’s always a disappointing finish when someone just walks out, even if it makes sense for the options that they had available.

Post match Crush throws him back in for a beating, including the Head Vice. Crush holds up the belt like a moron, showing that he might have been perfect for the Luger push.

From Paris, France, April 8, 1993.

Yokozuna vs. Jim Duggan

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is less than a week after winning the WWF Title and losing it about a minute later. This is also singlet Duggan so you know it’s not going to be much to see. Duggan throws a chair inside and Yokozuna (in black for a weird but cool look) doesn’t really move. The right hands in the corner stagger Yokozuna a bit so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which is quickly taken away. Yokozuna chokes away on the ropes so Yokozuna comes back with more big right hands.

As usual, Yokozuna knows how to sell this stuff rather well and almost does the big fall before elbowing Duggan in the face. That sequence works so well that they just do it again, with Heenan suggesting that Duggan just hit Yokozuna in the face with the board. Instead he gets caught in a bearhug for a good while until Duggan bites his way out (Heenan: “THAT’LL WORK!”). Duggan avoids a charge into the corner and starts firing off the clotheslines to FINALLY knock him down. Fuji offers a distraction though and it’s a splash in the corner, setting up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 7:22.

Rating: C. It was basic and really simple with Duggan slugging away over and over, but dang he knows how to do that match rather well. There is something about Duggan that makes you want to see him knock a giant down. The match wasn’t good, but it was rather entertaining and that’s a good thing. At the same time, you could definitely see how much slimmer Yokozuna was here, with the tights clearly being padded to make him look bigger.

Hart is listening to music and professes his love of Coliseum Video. He also promises that Hulk Hogan will get the WWF Title back from Yokozuna. The other day, he and Hogan were in Boston and Hart wrote a new song using a Hulk pencil on a picture of Hogan. And yes, he’s wearing a Hogan shirt. Hart is nothing if not the biggest shill in wrestling history. Well one of them anyway.

From Barcelona, Spain, April 24, 1993.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc.

The Steiners are challenging and can’t get in the ring as IRS holds them off with the briefcase. The ring announcer says that if the Steiners aren’t allowed in and the briefcase isn’t taken to the back, the titles change hands. That’s enough for the Steiners to come in and clean house without much trouble.

We settle down to DiBiase headlocking Rick to start as the camera is staying rather wide for some reason. That’s reversed into a belly to belly for two on DiBiase and it’s already off to Scott to go after the arm. The camera goes to a LONG crowd shot, with Savage and Heenan both getting on him for not showing the match. We get back to the ring with DiBiase getting over for the tag to IRS, whose arm is cranked as well.

Scott uses the tie to take IRS down again as we shift to a normal camera shot as I’m rather confused by the whole direction so far. Anyway DiBiase sends Scott outside for a ram into some metal, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for two back inside. Commentary gets on the camera work again, even if things are at least somewhat settled down. DiBiase chokes Scott on the ropes and IRS gets in some cheap shots like a villain should be doing.

Scott fights out of a chinlock but goes the wrong way, with DiBiase almost feeding him into the right corner. Rick comes back in to clean house as everything breaks down. DiBiase’s piledriver is cut off and Scott adds a middle rope clothesline. IRS gets sent outside and the Frankensteiner hits DiBiase, only for IRS to come back in and….I guess the word would be tap Scott with the title for the DQ at 10:18.

Rating: C. The camera work was the focal point of this match and that’s a weird way to go. The venue was strange looking enough so maybe that’s why the camera stuff was so odd. Other than that, it was a rather just kind of there match with neither team exactly doing much. Then again, a Frankensteiner from Scott is always worth a look.

Post match the Steiners hold up the titles, marking the second time we’ve done the “they don’t know the rules” in three matches. It takes way too long to get on to the next match.

From Sheffield, England, April 11, 1993.

Mr. Perfect vs. Samu

Afa is here with Samu. They take their time to start and Samu shoves Perfect away, meaning they stare at each other again. Perfect’s headlock and a shoulder have Samu in a bit of trouble and he misses a crossbody. A crossbody works a bit better for Perfect (he is perfect after all) and some dropkicks have Samu on the floor, with the fans rather behind Perfect.

Back in and they tease a test of strength until Samu knocks him down to take over for the first time. A toss to the floor lets Afa get in a cheap shot, which has Perfect going after him. Heenan: “Come on Perfect, didn’t I teach you better than that?” Samu gets in a shot of his own, only for Perfect to go after the leg. That doesn’t work either as Samu and Afa both get in their own shots as the slow beating continues.

Samu hits a superkick, some headbutts to the head and a headbutt between the legs. As dull as this match has been, the fans are indeed staying with it so far. Perfect finally fights up and kicks away, only to get hit fairly low to cut off the comeback. A small package gives Perfect two but Samu knocks him outside. Perfect manages a quick crotching on the post to no avail but has to avoid a top rope splash. The PerfectPlex finishes for Perfect at 13:36.

Rating: C-. Thank goodness the fans were there to carry this as far as it got, as there was only so much for the whole thing. Perfect was beaten up here by half of a tag team. What else were you going to expect out of this kind of a setup? It was a match for the sake of letting the fans see Mr. Perfect, but it wasn’t much for anyone outside of the arena.

Hart is listening to Crank It Up (dig that Young Stallions song) and then brags about doing the song for Bret Hart’s next match.

From Barcelona, Spain, April 24, 1993.

Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow powers him around to start and then runs Hart over with a shoulder. Back in and Hart starts in on the arm and drops a leg onto it, allowing commentary to talk about wrestlers taping up fake injuries to trick their opponents. Something close to an elbow sends Bigelow to the floor and Hart gets to pose, which isn’t his style most of the time. This time Bigelow gets smart and rams him into the post, followed by a second shot to keep Hart down.

Back in and Bigelow stomps away as Hart is clearly near total destruction. The bearhug goes on back inside, with Heenan thinking a spinebuster could work well here. Instead it’s a big belly to back suplex for two and it’s off to an over the shoulder backbreaker. Hart slips out and manages his own suplex, which has Heenan losing his mind over Hart pulling that off.

Bigelow is right back up with a nasty butterfly backbreaker, only to miss the top rope headbutt. Hart fights up and hits the usual, setting up a middle rope clothesline. The sharpshooter attempt is broken up so Bigelow tries a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. Another belly to back attempt is cut off though and Bigelow crashes onto Hart. Back up and a splash misses in the corner, allowing Hart to grab a victory roll for the victory at 11:55.

Rating: B. It might not have been their King Of The Ring final but Hart knows exactly how to do a match like this. As usual, Hart felt like he was getting close to death before pulling off the miracle win in the end. Good stuff here, as Bigelow could do the monster role rather well, especially with this kind of an opponent.

From Paris, France, April 8, 1993.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Wrestlemania rematch. Doink hides underneath the ring to start but gets caught coming back in to to start the beating early. Crush knocks him outside and the chase is on, with Doink’s stomps not having much effect back inside. There’s an atomic drop to make Doink gyrate a bit and a figure four necklock has Doink down even longer.

Crush hits a backbreaker but misses a knee, giving Doink a needed target. The knee is wrapped around the post and Doink slowly stomp away in the corner. Crush finally fights up and knocks him to the floor, setting up the head vice. Doink slips out though and walks away for the countout at 8:15.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match in a series of them. The idea of Doink was that he would play mind games and mess with people but here he was just having a boring match. Also, if you want Crush to be seen as a big deal, maybe don’t have his two matches on the same tape end with the same finish.

Jimmy Hart is impressed by all of the new technology and then talks about Shawn Michaels, who isn’t in the next match.

From Milan, Italy, April 25, 1993.

Scott Steiner vs. IRS

Neither of their partners are here for a change. IRS hides in the ropes to start, which might not be the worst idea. A battle of wrist control sends IRS to the ropes again before he does manage to get in a shot to the head. Steiner is sent outside as JR complains about not being able to find a chicken fried steak last night. Back in and a powerslam into a headlock has IRS in trouble for a change and he bails again as they’re not exactly getting into a higher gear so far.

Back in again and Steiner takes him down by the arm, only for IRS to go outside AGAIN. This time IRS gets back in and they run the ropes a bit until Steiner is sent outside, because Heaven forbid they keep anything going. A ram into the steps keeps Steiner in trouble but he gets his knees up to block a splash. IRS bails into the corner as commentary talks about how we don’t have timeouts here. BECAUSE THIS MATCH HAS BEEN SO ACTION PACKED! Steiner charges into a boot in the corner and gets two with his feet on the ropes. The referee waves that off and Steiner gets a sunset flip for the pin at 10:06.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t so much that it was a bad match but geez this was boring. IRS wasn’t exactly known for keeping the pace up and the stalling did make sense as he was trying to keep Steiner from getting to a higher gear, but that doesn’t make it fun to watch. This tape hasn’t been much to see thus far and this didn’t help at all.

From Milan, Italy, April 25, 1993.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Mr. Fuji and Paul Bearer are here too. To say they stall for a good while here is an understatement, as Bearer takes nearly two minutes to get out of the ring. They stare each other down and Yokozuna’s shots to the head not doing much. The running DDT plants Yokozuna but he hits a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor. A ram into the steps staggers Undertaker again and the big leg…does pretty much nothing back inside. Yokozuna hits a clothesline but Undertaker gets back up so it’s a bucket shot to Undertaker’s head for the DQ at 5:42.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness this the perfect way to wrap up this pretty terrible tape. They barely did anything, with over a third of the match being spent on them standing around and staring at each other before any contact. Then they just do another DQ, which is fine for the sake of not wanting Yokozuna to look weak, but GEEZ that’s a lot of non-finishes in one sitting.

Post match Yokozuna misses the Banzai Drop and gets “chokeslammed” (eh fair enough given the size) to send him running.

Hart gives us something of an inspirational message about never giving up and going for your dreams…and then praises Hulk Hogan, even posing to Real American to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, leave it to Hart to have the only good match on a terrible collection of wrestling. I know it’s the European tour so things aren’t going to be up to their usual standards, but sweet goodness this was dull. It’s not a good sign when the second best part of a collection is how odd the arena in Paris looked. Just lame stuff all around and it’s easy to see why 1993 is not the best time the company ever had.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Nathan Jones vignette.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Royal Rumble

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD

2013 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

2013 Redo: H (For HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

And the 2013 redo here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

So this popped up on the WWE Vault channel and I might as well look at it again. This show is more infamous than famous, with an all time terrible match, a pretty great main event, and one massive headache for WCW as the show went off the air late, resulting in a bunch of people not even seeing the ending. Let’s get to it.

In the glory and chaos of WCW, every match carries the passion and dreams of countless wrestling fans. To make these classic moments more unique and worth collecting, you can choose Custom Medals to remember these immortal moments.

Customized medals can not only perfectly capture the essence of each game but also add exclusive elements according to personal preferences, whether it is the player’s iconic moves or the classic moments of the game, they can be presented one by one. Whether it is as a souvenir collection or as a gift for someone who also loves wrestling, customized medals are the best choice to convey passion and respect.

The opening video is rather serious and looks at a bunch of the bigger matches. Of all the things WCW spent money on, this wasn’t one of them.

Dang that pumpkin set is awesome.

Commentary talks about the show, with Heenan throwing on a mask to annoy Schiavone as only he can.

The Nitro Girls are here for the first time and are promised to be back. I get the appeal of having cheerleaders out there, but are they doing anything more than filling time?

Here is Rick Steiner to talk about how he’s looking at Scott Steiner as just another opponent. Cue Buff Bagwell to say everyone is sick of Scott so he’ll have Rick’s back. And yes, Rick falls for this, showing that the University of Michigan isn’t much in the academic department. Also, this could have been done on any given Nitro or Thunder rather than being on the show.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in what appears to be a bonus match. Before the match, Raven sits in the corner and says his recent losing streak is NOT his fault. He doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight and he wasn’t told in advance so he’s not going to do it. Jericho says not so fast because he is buyrates, people in the seats and rock and roll. Calling Raven a loser is enough to draw him back in for the bell, with Jericho stomping away and swinging Raven’s jacket.

Back up and Raven sends him outside for a dive, meaning it’s time for a whip into the steps. A dropkick has Jericho in more trouble but Raven is back with a quick hot shot to take over. They go outside again with Jericho’s dive only hitting the barricade. Back in and Jericho suplexes his way out of a sleeper before taking off a turnbuckle pad. Naturally Jericho goes head first into it and a clothesline gives Raven two.

The Liontamer goes on but Raven makes the rope (rather than tapping out in a hurry as he has been doing lately) and hits a quick Even Flow for two. Jericho low blows him into a bridging German suplex but cue Kanyon for and attempted distraction. Instead Jericho reverses the Even Flow into another Liontamer for the tap at 7:42.

Rating: B. It’s nice to see Raven getting to have a good match as he could certainly go in the ring when he had the chance. It helped that he was in there with Jericho, who was really starting to come into his own around this time. You could see the star power and it made him someone you wanted to see, which is quite the valuable thing to have.

Jericho’s over the top celebration is great.

Here are Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff for a chat. Hogan says he’ll keep it short and then goes into a long rant about laying out his nephew Horace, because he wanted to prove you needed to be in the NWO. As for tonight, he’ll beat up the Warrior, for life. There was absolutely no need or this to be on the show.

Meng vs. Wrath

Hoss fight time and they go straight to the floor to start with Meng being sent into the barricade. They get inside, where Meng rams his own head into the buckle over and over. Wrath hits a middle rope clothesline but the Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam) is escaped, allowing Meng to hit a kick to the face. Meng strikes away in the corner and hits a running clothesline but the Tongan Death Grip is countered into a Rock Bottom for two. The Meltdown finishes for Wrath at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Not much time for this one but they hit each other rather hard for few minutes that they had. It made Wrath look good too, which was a bit of a mini project at the time. They certainly needed to build someone up for Kevin Nash to beat later, because beating someone on a winning streak set him up to beat someone else on a winning streak. I mean, it’s not like WCW could have used someone like Wrath, who was getting over around this point with wins like this one.

Billy Kidman is down to face either challenger to his Cruiserweight Title.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

For a Cruiserweight Title shot later tonight. Disco takes him into the corner to start and stomps away, setting up a side slam for two. Juventud snaps off a headscissors and, after messing something up, sends Disco crashing out to the floor. An anklescissors takes Disco down again but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The not very tight chinlock goes on before Juventud fights out and sends him to the floor for the big dive.

Back in and the Juvy Driver is countered into a neckbreaker for a very delayed near fall. The Macarena (yes it is 1998) takes too long and Juventud rolls him up for two, only for Disco to fall down into low blow. Disco goes up and gets crotched down, setting up a super hurricanrana. Juventud’s top rope flip dive connects but Disco is back with a quick piledriver for the pin at 9:40. Ignore Juventud’s shoulder being on Disco’s leg rather than the mat.

Rating: C. This is another good example of a match that could have taken place on Thunder instead of here as it was hardly anything pay per view worthy. Disco did his basic stuff until the piledriver while Juventud was flying around as well as he could have, albeit to limited results. And we even get more Disco later!

More Nitro Girls.

Here is Scott Steiner for a chat. He’s been with his freaks so coming to Vegas is a breather. Scott heard Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell getting together, so tonight he and the Giant will make it a Tag Team Title match (ignore that Scott HALL and the Giant are the champions right now, hence neither of them having a belt at the moment, even if Giant should have one). Giant comes out to agree so here is JJ Dillon to say that if the champs lose the titles, Scott will face Rick one on one immediately after.

So that’s another bonus match being added. And we’re having a tag match instead of a singles match because the tag team knows they would win a tag match but if they don’t, then it’s the planned singles match, even if the non-champions have already lost the titles. Yes this is 1998 WCW and somehow, it would get far, far worse.

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

We hear about Finlay breaking Wright’s dad’s leg years ago as Finlay takes over on the wrist to start. An elbow to the face has Wright in more trouble but he knocks Finlay down and stomps away. Back up and Finlay hits him in the face for a knock out to the floor. Wright gets dropped face first onto the barricade and they head back inside, where a running crossbody sends both of them crashing back to the floor. Back in again and Finlay misses a charge into the corner, allowing Wright to grab a neckbreaker for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C. This was mostly Finlay beating Wright up for about 90% of the match until Wright caught him with one move at the end. The match was something that felt like it belonged on Saturday Night more than a pay per view yet here it is, adding another match to this marathon show. Commentary didn’t even pretend like this was anything important either, making it feel even less important.

Note that we’re over an hour into this show and pretty much NOTHING has happened. We’ve had one good match, which wasn’t advertised, a match to set up a title match later, and two pretty much nothing matches. Yeah there’s other stuff coming, but feel free to GET ON WITH IT.

Ernest Miller is on WCW.com and brags about his greatness.

Saturn vs. Lodi

This isn’t what I meant by “GET ON WITH IT”. Saturn works on the arm to start so Lodi bails outside and grabs his signs (they’re his thing), only for Saturn to sweep his leg out. A suplex drops Lodi again and a whip into the corner makes it worse. Saturn hits some suplexes and the Death Valley Driver completes the squash at 3:49.

Rating: C-. Saturn got to massacre Lodi, though I’m not sure why this match actually needed to take place on the pay per view. Saturn smashing the Flock’s mascot isn’t a pay per view match but rather something that should be in the second hour of Thunder. That’s the theme of this whole show so far and that isn’t good to see, even if I’ve always liked Saturn.

We look at Buff Bagwell rejecting the NWO. Totally. For real.

Nitro Girls.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is defending and grabs a headlock to start with limited avail. An exchange of wristlocks doesn’t go very far either so Kidman grabs a slingshot armdrag. Disco drop toeholds him throat first into the ropes but Kidman sens him outside for a crash. Back in and Kidman misses a top rope splash though and we hit the chinlock.

Disco lets go and dances, followed by a belly to back suplex for two. The dancing middle rope elbow misses but Disco is right back with the piledriver for two more. A gordbuster gets another near fall so Kidman calmly faceplants him. The shooting star press retains the title at 10:50.

Rating: C. Again, the problem is Disco doesn’t do anything beyond simple stuff and that didn’t leave Kidman in any real danger. Other than maybe the piledriver, this was just waiting around for Kidman to win. It doesn’t help that this was the second Disco match of the night, again making things feel rather extended for no apparent reason.

Tag Team Titles: Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Rick and Buff are challenging and if they win the titles, Rick gets to face Scott “for fifteen minutes”. Scott distracts Rick to start and Giant slugs away to take over. An atomic drop puts Rick in more trouble and it’s off to Scott for some shots from behind. Rick fights up with right hands in the corner and an elbow connects. Buff wants the tag though and OF COURSE he turns on Rick with a low blow, because that’s something WCW loves to do.

Commentary tries to sound shocked because that’s what they have to do as Buff runs off. Scott chokes and knees away on the ropes before Giant comes in to pull Rick up at two. It’s back to Scott so Rick fights up, only to get cut off with a low blow. For some reason Giant goes up and accidentally missile dropkicks Scott, leaving him hung up in the ropes for a funny visual. Rick gets up, Steiner Bulldogs Giant, and wins the Tag Team Titles at 8:23.

Rating: D. Other than the Giant hitting that dropkick, this was the point where the good in-ring side mostly falls off, as there is only so much you can get out of another SWERVE from Bagwell and the slow hammering offense from the Steiners. And of course Rick and Buff are the new champions, which would somehow lead to Rick teaming with Buff’s mother Judy Bagwell, say it with me, because WCW.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott tries to leave with the Giant but Rick goes after him for a ram into the steps. They get back in and Scott charges into a boot in the corner before being sent outside again. Another low blow (four on the night between all of the brawling) drops Rick again and Scott hits a running crotch attack against the ropes.

Rick grabs a belly to belly…and a guy in a Bill Clinton mask (and a suit) jumps the barricade, beats up security, and is handed a slap jack by an interfering Stevie Ray to knock Rick and the referee cold for the DQ at 3:32. And of course it’s Bagwell. Hold on though as Scott covers Rick and Buff makes the referee count, with Rick kicking out. The Frankensteiner gets two but Rick fights back and hits the Steiner Bulldog for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D-. So Bagwell wore jeans for the tag match, ran to the back, put on a suit and mask so he could interfere in the ensuing singles match before unveiling himself. This would be after Buff and Rick won the Tag Team Titles from a team who weren’t he actual champions to set up a match which was already scheduled but was technically canceled before being put back in, despite not being “for fifteen minutes” as advertised. I have no idea how any of this was supposed to work, but it certainly didn’t.

We recap Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash. They were best friends, but their loyalty to Hollywood Hogan and the NWO (and money) have split them up so they’re finally having a match.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

Hall throws his drink into Nash’s face and hammers away to start. They go out to the floor where Hall gets in a microphone shot and chokes with a camera cord. We pause for the referees to check on Nash’s eyes so Hall mocks him before dropping Nash with more right hands. Hall mocks being drunk as the fans chant for the Wolfpac, which is cut off by Hall’s slam.

Some right hands in the corner have Nash in trouble but he says bring it on, setting up the big side slam. Hall fights up with more right hands but has to bail from the threat of a Jackknife. Back in and things reset a bit, with Nash shoving him down without much trouble. Hall grabs an armbar but Nash shrugs it off and stomps him down.

Nash’s running crotch attack against the ropes keeps Hall in trouble and some knees in the corner (Nash: “How about a double? Would you like a double?”) makes it worse. The straps come down and Nash hits the Jackknife (or Jackhammer according to Schiavone), followed by a second. The crotch chop is enough to let Hall walk out for the countout at 14:21.

Rating: C. This was a storyline match instead of a more traditional version and in this case, that’s the right idea. Hall got in his usual stuff here but Nash gets the big dominant performance, with the actual result not mattering. At least it felt like this mattered in the slightest though and even made sense, which is a chance of pace from most o the rest of the show.

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and bails to the floor to start as commentary talks about the personal issues that are more important than the title. They don’t bother saying WHAT THOSE ISSUES ARE but that’s WCW for you. Hart gets back inside, the bell rings, and Hart bails to the floor again. Sting follows him outside and throws Hart back inside to hammer away in the corner. A head first ramp into the mat gives Sting two but Hart goes after the eyes to take over.

Hart drops a leg for two and we hit the chinlock, which is broken up even faster than usual. Sting’s comeback is cut off with a bulldog out of the corner but the middle rope elbow is countered into a failed Scorpion Deathlock attempt. Back up and Hart tries a leapfrog but grabs his knee, with even Heenan saying the fans are tired of being lied to all night. Hart gets in a cheap shot and drops the middle rope elbow for two as things slow back own. A drop onto the barricade has Sting in more trouble and Hart decks the referee.

With the referee down, Sting starts the comeback, with both of them jumping over the referee in a funny bit. Hart gets crotched on top and a top rope superplex somewhat lands on the referee to leave everyone down for awhile. The Stinger Splash hits the post so Hart hits him with the baseball bat over and over. A middle rope bat shot lets Hart finish what used to be Sting with the Sharpshooter to retain at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great but I’ll take a match between two stars with a definitive ending. Hart basically destroyed Sting here and the ending was a way to write Sting off for a bit. It’s good to see him get a win after the incredibly messy start to his WCW run and it worked well enough here, even if Hart was clearly not anywhere near what he was back in the WWF.

Sting does a stretcher job as commentary wonders what is wrong with him.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior

Warrior beat him eight and a half years ago, then showed up to say that he can do it again. Hogan panicked and here we are for a showdown, which has the potential to be a disaster. Naturally Hogan stalls on the floor before the bell before a big right hand knocks him into the corner to start. Warrior cranks on the arm and Hogan is already bailing out to the floor again.

We get the tease of the test of strength but Hogan goes with a cheap shot to take over. Now they do the test and Warrior goes down as the attempt to recreate an iconic moment falls flatter than expected. Back up and they do the criss cross until Warrior shrugs off a slam and clotheslines him to the floor. They slowly brawl around ringside before Hogan gets back inside and decks the referee.

Cue the Giant, who hits Hogan by mistake (as he falls apart just before leaving the promotion), allowing Warrior to clothesline him out to the floor. There’s no referee to count, so Hogan grabs a belly to back suplex (see, because that happened in 1990 too) for a delayed two. Hogan whips him with the weightlifting belt bu misses some elbows as Warrior rolls away. This includes rolling towards Hogan, because left and right is too complicated here.

Warrior misses the splash but comes back with Hogan’s weightlifting belt to whip away. The referee breaks it up so hogan grabs some flash paper, which sets off a fireball…which doesn’t go anywhere near Warrior’s face. Warrior hammers away, including some ax handles to the head. A low blow cuts Warrior off and Hogan drops leg but Warrior fights up. Cue Horace Hogan to chair Warrior in the back so Hogan can grab the trunks for the win at 14:33.

Rating: F. Normally I would say something like “this was sad” but in this case, it was just pathetic, almost all of which has to be put on Hogan. As there is pretty much no way that this was Warrior’s plan for the match, instead we had far worse versions of the spots from their legendary match with both of them older and Hogan not being the kind of character who fits in this match at all. This really was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and it was all about making Hogan feel better after putting Warrior over almost nine years earlier. Lucky us.

Post match Hogan loads up lighter fluid but security breaks it up, not wanting to see any more of this either.

The WWE Vault version cuts out the entrances for the next match and we go straight to the ring.

So this is where the show gets infamous. As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve mentioned the timing issues that the show has had throughout the whole night. That is because the show was pretty much entirely out of time here, with the pay per view window of 11pm (or whatever it was) having about three minutes left as the World Title match was still left to go. As a result, a bunch of people lost the feed for the show and didn’t get to see the main event, forcing WCW to show it for free on Nitro.

It’s one thing to have a show go a little bit long, but this was asking for almost fifteen extra minutes and all because of a bunch of bonus matches, completely unnecessary promos and stuff like the Nitro Girls. It came off like WCW didn’t care what they did and just thought everyone would go along with them and that isn’t how things worked. While this wasn’t some death blow, it was a really big own goal and that’s not something the company could afford around this time. Things would get worse in a hurry, but this one is infamous for reasons of “WCW screwed up big.”

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Goldberg is defending after Page earned the title shot by winning WarGames. Page charges at him a few times to start but gets shoved into the corner over and over by the raw power. They lock up and crash out to the floor as there is some rather strong electricity going here. Back in and Page tries a legsweep so Goldberg does a standing moonsault to avoid, only to get swept down instead for a quick staredown.

An armbar sends Page to the ropes but the threat of a Diamond Cutter gets him shoved outside again. Back in and Goldberg shoulders him right back outside but Page grabs a neckbreaker for a needed breather. Page’s front facelock is countered into Goldberg’s neckbreaker for a change and a side slam gets two. Goldberg kicks him into the corner but the spear hits the post, with the fans getting back into it as Page has an opening.

The top rope clothesline gives Page two and a spinning DDT connects but Goldberg pops back up with a heck of a spear. The shoulder is too damaged to hit the Jackhammer though and Page grabs the Diamond Cutter, which has the fans going rather nuts. The rather delayed cover gets two so Page tries a suplex, which is reversed into a not great Jackhammer (which is kind of the point) to retain the title at 10:29.

Rating: B. This was the first time Goldberg had what would be considered a full match, with Page not being able to hang with him throughout, but having the one big move that could actually threaten Goldberg. The pop from the Diamond Cutter was great and it’s a very good match and Page clearly walked through it, though it was more just a really solid showing rather than a classic. Still though, Goldberg’s best WCW match by a mile and Page’s road to the world title continues.

Goldberg shows respect to end the show in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D+. The interesting thing here is that there are some good matches on here (main event, opener, Sting vs. Hart, a few other ok ones) but e pluribus gads the bad parts are horrible. Hogan vs. Warrior is an all time bad example of what happens when one person gets everything they want, the Tag Team Title/Steiners stuff is a terrible mess and pretty much the entire first hour is a waste of time and a ridiculous waste of the fans’ money. Throw in the whole total disaster with the pay per view slot and this really is an elite level disaster.

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Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw
Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam
Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

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Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a show with one heck of a main event as the Elimination Chamber makes its debut. The idea is that Raw wants to one up Smackdown’s Cell match the previous month and a major tradition was born. On the Smackdown side, Brock Lesnar is defending the World Title against the Big Show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the two World Title matches, with Eric Bischoff introducing the Elimination Chamber.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match, with JR bringing up TLC matches taking place in this building. That has never happened, but odds are he’s thinking of the tables match between the Hardys and the Dudleys at Royal Rumble 2000. The villains are sent outside to start so Bubba throws Spike onto them. Spike gets pulled out of the air, naturally setting up a dive from Jeff to take everyone down.

Back in and Rico hammers on Bubba in the corner, which doesn’t last long as Bubba chops him away. Spike is back in with a What’s Up to Jamal and Jeff hits a top rope legdrop version. The tables are brought in, allowing Rosey to run Bubba over with a clothesline. One heck of a backdrop sends Jeff to the floor but Rosey’s charge into the corner only hits table. That’s not an elimination because it didn’t come from the other team’s offense so Rosey is right back up with a splash to Jeff.

Spike gets sent hard through a table (you can tell it was bad as Lawler wants to see it again) so 3 Minute Warning goes up, only to have both of them get crotched. Poetry In Motion is cut off so Rosey and Hardy fight into the crowd. Back in and Rico kicks away at Bubba, who pulls Rico into the way of Jamal’s charge. Ray goes up to save Hardy, setting up a heck of a Swanton off the balcony through a table to get rid of Rosey.

Back in and Jamal puts Bubba onto a table but Hardy takes FOREVER to make the save (giving us an infamous moment of Rico screaming for Jeff to get over here already). Hardy cleans house but slips while trying to run the barricade, leaving Jamal to shove a table at Jeff’s head instead for a nasty crash.

A giant top rope splash puts Jeff through the table, leaving us with Bubba vs. Jamal/Rico. Back in and Jamal takes too long loading up a hurricanrana, allowing Ray to powerbomb him through a table. Jamal and Rosey are back up to go after Bubba but D-Von Dudley runs in for the big save and one heck of a reaction. The 3D puts Rico through the table for the win at 14:22.

Rating: B-. And that’s how they brought the Dudleys back together to end the split up runs, which really weren’t working that well. The two of them just work better together and it was the right move to make. It’s also a good way to give the match a happy ending, though it was a good, hard hitting fight until then. I’m not wild on the match being that long, but it gave us a nice ending so it works out well enough.

Stacy Keibler is at the World and introduces Saliva to play Always to look at the rest of the card.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging and debuts his awesome theme music (the one with “you can run if you want to”), which should counter Nidia in Noble’s corner. An early running hurricanrana takes Noble down to start but he’s back in with a shot to take over. Kidman fights up and hits a quick backbreaker for a breather, followed by a running elbow. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Noble is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two of his own.

Back up and Kidman takes him down to load up the shooting star press, with Nidia breaking it up. The big dive drops Noble again and the slingshot legdrop gets two back inside. Noble slips out of a powerbomb (make your own jokes) and hits a tiger bomb for a rather near fall. They both go up top so Kidman can hit a heck of a top rope DDT for two, only for Noble to put him on top for a hanging DDT and his own near fall. Kidman shrugs that off, knocks Noble down, shrugs off Nidia’s distraction, and hits the shooting star press for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: B. Maybe it was due to the title feeling unimportant, but dang they were working out there and it wound up being a heck of a back and forth match. That’s what you should have done for something like this and I was digging what we got. Really hard hitting match here and Kidman gets a definitive win after surviving everything Noble threw at him.

Kurt Angle thinks he and Chris Benoit can win the Tag Team Titles. Benoit wants to fight but Angle talks about their partnership to calm him down. A handshake is offered, but Angle would rather hug. Goofy Angle continues to be hysterical.

Victoria beats up her mirror for thinking Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. They had worked together as fitness models until WWE wanted them both. Victoria implied that Stratus held her back so now Victoria is here to make up for lost time. And revenge. And the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria is challenging in a hardcore match and jumps Stratus from behind before she can even take the belt off. Some choking with Stratus’ jacket has her in more trouble and Victoria grabs a broom. That takes too long though and Stratus monkey flips her over, only for Victoria to choke with the broom instead. Stratus throws her off the top with the boom though and grabs a trashcan lid, which is knocked back into her face with the same broom (that’s not a winner for Stratus so far).

The slingshot flipping legdrop gives Victoria two but it takes too long to set up a trashcan in the corner. Stratus uses said delay to catapult her face first into the trashcan and then grab an ironing board. Victoria is whipped through the board and Stratus uses a trashcan lid to smash Stratus in the face. A powerbomb gives Victoria two and she grabs a big mirror. That takes too long so Victoria sprays her with a fire extinguisher and grabs a suplex of all things for the pin and the title at 7:02.

Rating: B-. They beat the fire out of each other here and it felt like they were trying to win a fight. The ending wasn’t exactly great, but the weapon shots were the focal point here rather than the suplex. This was a solid way to make Victoria feel like a big deal right out of the gate and that is what they were trying to do.

Eric Bischoff brags about one upping Smackdown with the Elimination Chamber when Big Show comes in. Show promises to make Bischoff regret letting him go to Smackdown. By taking out Smackdown’s top star? That’s quite the weird way to g.

Lesnar is ready, with Paul Heyman being worried about what is going to happen.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show has debuted on Smackdown and injured Lesnar, with Paul Heyman not being sure if Lesnar is strong enough to deal with someone Show’s size. Lesnar wants to fight and is definitely leaning towards the good side for the first time.

Smackdown World Title; Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Lesnar, with Paul Heyman, is defending. They shove each other around to start as the fans are pretty firmly behind Lesnar. Show, who has a banged up arm, gets smart by going after the ribs and sending Lesnar flying out of the corner. Lesnar is right back with a spear and sends Show outside to hammer away.

Back in and Lesnar manages a belly to back suplex before busting out the expected German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Lesnar muscles Show up for a belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair, which Lesnar smashes onto Show’s head. The F5 connects and another referee runs out…but Heyman breaks up the count. Lesnar realizes what happened and chases Heyman, right into a chair to the ribs from Show. A chokeslam onto the chair is enough to pin Lesnar for the first time at 4:18.

Rating: C. I’ve never been much of a fan of his, but time and the longer term storytelling with it (as Show would be little more than a transitional champion to Kurt Angle) have softened me on it a bit. They got in and out with a quick match as Lesnar gets screwed out of the title in a variety of ways. Show has been a monster like few others around this point so having him steal the title makes sense. It’s not good, but it’s also not as bad as I remember.

Post match Show and Heyman run off with the title and leave in a waiting car.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle wn the inaugural titles but keep arguing, with Edge and Rey Mysterio winning the titles in a classic. Los Guerreros are involved too and so it’s Smackdown Six time for the titles.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are defending under elimination rules. They glare at each other to start until Benoit and Mysterio get things going. One heck of a chop rocks Mysterio and then a second one does it again. Mysterio manages a flapjack of all things and drops a leg on Benoit’s neck, allowing the tag off to Edge to keep the pace up. Angle comes in and gets punched in the face so he forcibly brings Chavo in instead.

Mysterio is right back in with the springboard splash for two but Chavo drops him on his face. Eddie comes in to stomp away, only to get dropped with an anklescissors. Another one sends Angle into the corner, where Benoit swings at Mysterio because he’s smart enough to do a little thing like that. Mysterio goes up but slips off the top, allowing Angle to stomp away. Benoit comes in with a neckbreaker and drops him with a belly to back for two.

We settle down a bit with Angle and Benoit taking turns beating on Mysterio, with Angle grabbing a front facelock. That goes on for a good while, until Mysterio slips out of a suplex and scores with a nice spinwheel kick to the face. Los Guerreros bail from Angle’s tag attempt so it’s Benoit vs. Edge instead, with the latter taking out everyone. Edge gets caught in the ankle lock and Crossface at the same time but Mysterio makes the save with a seated senton.

Eddie comes back in but gets suplexed to the floor, followed by Edge getting suplexed to the mat with the rolling German suplexes. The frog splash hits Edge but the Swan Dive hits Eddie, setting up the double submissions. Angle isn’t legal though so the referee breaks it up, allowing Chavo to hit Benoit with the belt. Chavo throws said belt to Angle, which Benoit sees, meaning the argument is on. Mysterio takes out Chavo and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination at 13:10.

Angle and Benoit beat up Edge and Mysterio before leaving, only to argue in the aisle because that’s what they do. Eddie snaps off a suplex to Edge and a baseball slide gives Chavo two. The sleeper goes on but Edge is right out, only to get dropkicked by Chavo. Eddie hits another suplex and the front facelock goes on again. That’s broken up and Edge hits a double flapjack, which is enough to bring Mysterio in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mysterio hits the 619, only to have Chavo hit him with a belt. Edge is taken out and the Lasso From El Paso gives Los Guerreros the titles at 19:24.

Rating: A-. Yeah of course this was great and I don’t know what else should have been expected. These people know how to work well together and they were allowed to do their thing for about twenty minutes here. WWE knew what they had with these guys and just let them go, which is why this era is so fondly remembered. Awesome stuff here, as was the case every time they were out there together.

Here is Christopher Nowinski to say that intelligence is different than street smarts. You either have intelligence or you don’t and the people here clearly don’t. Cue Matt Hardy, who keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks lowfat chocolate milk, to say that he is happy to see this building overflowing with Mattitude.

These stupid people are sucking the Mattitude out of the arena though and he is choking worse than the Knicks (JR: “I don’t know about that.”). This just keeps going for far too long until Scott Steiner debuts and takes them both out. Steiner gets in the catchphrase to wrap it up. WAY too long, as I’m wondering if Steiner’s cue was late or something, as you could tell Hardy and Nowinski were out of things to say.

The Chamber is lowered.

Shawn Michaels talks about his chances in the Chamber but we get an RNN BREAKING NEWS. He came all the way to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because a flight attendant gave him an extra pillow and his shoulder was protected. He’ll be back in no time.

We recap the Elimination Chamber, with HHH having issues with everyone involved and all of them wanting the title. Eric Bischoff introduced the idea to one up Smackdown using the Cell and everyone always wants to go after HHH. This gets the music video treatment with Always by Saliva.

HHH is ready for the Chamber because he’s the best. He has a first class ticket to H*** and he wants t know who’s coming with him.

Here is Eric Bischoff to walk through the Chamber and explain the whole thing concept. The fact that his rather long speech is summed up by a graphic running down the rules, and JR explaining it in far less time, makes this feel unnecessary.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs .Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and it’s HHH in at #1 and Van Dam in at #2 (And Jericho gets played to the ring by Saliva…who is in concert at the World, which is certainly unique. Maybe not good, but unique.). HHH drives him into the corner to start but Van Dam, who is rather popular, kicks him in the face and then again in the chest. The facebuster connects for HHH as commentary goes over the rules (and does a much better job than Bischoff).

They go outside for some whips to send HHH into the wall over and over, with the door popping open. A monkey flip sends the already bleeding HHH onto the Chamber floor and there’s Rolling Thunder from inside to outside. Van Dam goes up onto a pod but Jericho pulls him down, though Van Dam is able to crotch HHH on top anyway. More kicks have HHH down and it’s Jericho in at #3.

That’s fine with Van Dam, who jumps from the top to the Chamber wall, where he holds on and then dives onto Jericho with a crossbody. HHH is back up and hits the jumping knee to Van Dam before the villains take him outside again. Some hard whips send Van Dam into the wall before a DDT cuts off the comeback. Booker T. comes at #4 and cleans house, including the Spinarooni.

Van Dam slugs it out with Booker T. with the step over kick to the face giving Van Dam two. The side kick gives Booker the same but HHH is back up. Van Dam kicks him down and goes up to the top of a pod for the Five Star, with his knee landing on HHH’s throat (that was a nasty injury). Instead of covering, Booker hits a missile dropkick to get rid of Van Dam at 13:40. Booker covers HHH for two but Jericho is back up with the bulldog. An Alabama Slam gives Booker one and it’s Kane in at #5 to change things up a bit.

House is quickly cleaned again, including Jericho being sent into various things, such as through the Plexiglas. Jericho is busted open as well but he’s fine enough to hit Booker low, allowing Kane to hit a chokeslam. The Lionsault gets rid of Booker at 17:45 and we’re down to four. Jericho and HHH start double teaming Kane a bit, only for Kane to break that up without much effort. HHH gets slammed off the top but Jericho is back with the middle rope dropkick to leave everyone down.

Shawn is in at #6 to complete the field (with the entrance times being pretty close) and is quickly dropped by Kane. The running forearm cuts Kane down but he’s right back up so chokeslams can abound. Shawn is able to hit a superkick but Kane sits up, so it’s a Pedigree into a Lionsault to get rid of Kane at 22:35.

Jericho sends Shawn over the top and into the steel again and the double teaming is on. This time it’s HHH throwing Shawn over so he can rake Shawn’s face into the wall. Shawn, also bleeding, tries to fight back but gets backdropped onto the floor for a nasty crash. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm on HHH but Jericho hits the bulldog into the Lionsault…for two. And now we’re into the stretching portion, as Shawn can suddenly survive things that have beaten Booker and Kane. Shawn gets the Walls on Jericho until HHH breaks it up with a DDT.

Jericho going for the pin doesn’t please HHH so the villains get into it, with HHH hitting a hard clothesline. The facebuster gives HHH two but the Pedigree is countered into the Walls. Shawn breaks it up with the superkick and pins Jericho at 30:41, leaving us one on one. They slowly slug it out until HHH’s spinebuster gets two and they’re both slow to get up.

A backdrop sends Shawn onto the steel floor, where his own Pedigree attempt is countered into a catapult through more Plexiglas. Since it’s Shawn, he fights back again and sends HHH int the steel again, followed by a clothesline back into the ring. For some reason Shawn goes all the way to the top of the pod to drop the elbow. Instead of covering, Shawn tunes up the band but it gets reversed into the Pedigree for a rather delayed two. Another Pedigree is loaded up and Shawn hits the superkick to win the title at 39:40.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times now and I’m still not sure what I think of the thing. It tells a good story, the action is there, it might be a bit longer than it needs to be, but what we get is quite good. On paper, I should like it rather well, but as usual, there is one thing that bugs me about the whole thing, and that is Shawn himself.

As many times as I’ve seen this, it always feels a bit ridiculous that Shawn could survive all of these things. He’s getting up from multiple finishers and one heck of a beating. I know the fans went nuts on the ending and all that and it does feel like a special moment, but dang it never comes off as right. Maybe this works better as a one fall match, but I can never get my head around him beating five of the best on Raw at the time.

Confetti falls for the big celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I hadn’t realized how good of a show this really is, as you have one awesome match, a good main event and enough other strong stuff throughout to make it work very well. Lesnar vs. Show is only ok, but it barely breaks four minutes and was certainly memorable. My issues with the main event aside, this is definitely worth a look and it’s a heck of a show overall.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-
2012 Redo: B
2017 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: C-
2024 Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2012 Redo: B+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: A-

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2012 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B+

That one main event rating is bizarre enough but the overall ratings over the years are ridiculous. The show is a near classic rather than the good at best I gave it before.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

Last week saw the Quebecers win/steal the Tag Team Titles from the Steiner Brothers. You aren’t going to get the Steiners to go away that easily and now Scott gets a chance to beat Pierre to get another shot. Other than that, we don’t really have much going on as Survivor Series is two months away, so get ready for some squashes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Quebecers winning the Tag Team Titles last week via DQ, as it was under Province Of Quebec (meaning complicated) Rules.

Opening sequence.

It’s a rough week for Bobby Heenan, who has a bad case of the sniffles after Doink threw water on him last week.

Pierre vs. Scott Steiner

Johnny Polo is the only second here. Scott starts fast and clotheslines Pierre down before sending him outside, with Polo already panicking. The piledriver, which would have been illegal last week, crushes Pierre again as Scott covers everything that would have lost them the titles (nice). We get a Muta Lock of all things, which feels so out of place in 1993….well America really.

Scott knocks him down again and Pierre needs a hug on the floor. Polo gets chased to the back and Scott steals his hockey stick as we take a break. Back with Scott holding Pierre at bay with said stick, but here is Jacques to uneven things up. Rick Steiner comes out to stare Jacques down, allowing Pierre to get in the cheap shot to take over for the first time. Polo gets in a cheap shot of his own and we hit the chinlock.

Like a true villain, Pierre doesn’t crank on it very hard but does put his feet on the ropes. Naturally Vince talks about Rush Limbaugh, because that’s what fans were wanting to hear. The Vader Bomb gets two on Scott and a middle rope legdrop is good for the same. A backslide gives Scott a breather and it’s a double knockdown for the extended breather. Back up and the Frankensteiner gives Scott the fast pin at 16:06.

Rating: C. This went on for a good while but I’ll take something like this over the endless parade of squash matches that you usually get around here. At the same time, you have to keep the Steiners strong and as was shown last week, the Quebecers can only win with the screwy rules. They did what they needed to do here, even if it dragged in the middle.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Laverne Magille

What a name for Bigelow’s victim. Bigelow misses a dropkick to start and gets dropkicked into the corner. That doesn’t last long as Bigelow suplex slams him down as Crush calls him. The recovery is going well but, again, Crush doesn’t want to talk to Randy Savage, hanging up on him for the second week in a row.

Bigelow hits some weird jumping kick and the chinlock goes on. The clubbing forearms set up the choking on the rope, with Magille being thrown over said rope to the floor. Back in and Magille avoids a charge but dives into a ram into the corner. Another suplex slam sets up the backsplash to give Bigelow the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C-. This was long and not exactly good, as Bigelow was looking sloppy at times and they felt like they were filling in time more than once. Then again that is exactly what they should have been doing, as there is only so much you can get out of a five minute squash. Bigelow was always good for some impressive looking stuff, but he didn’t get to do much here.

We look back at Doink The Clown throwing water on Bobby Heenan last week.

Heenan, claiming a 113 degree fever, is found to be at about 97 degrees.

Here is Bret Hart for a chat. Vince McMahon talks about the things that Bret has dealt with in this building, mainly involving Jerry Lawler. Bret tortured Lawler at Summerslam but the decision was overturned because he wouldn’t let go of the Sharpshooter. This gets a rather long recap, with Vince making it sound like an explanation to a jury.

Therefore, Lawler is the undisputed King of the WWF, but Bret (who finally gets to talk) isn’t so sure. It’s a great honor to be King of the Ring but Bret cares about his family honor more than anything else. Maybe Bret should have let the Sharpshooter go at Summerslam. Or not, as he should have held onto it longer. Lawler will have to step in the ring with him again one day and Bret will take away the head that wears the crown. Well that escalated quickly.

Mr. Perfect vs. Mike Bell

Perfect takes the arm to start and then slaps Bell in the face. The headlock works a bit better for Perfect and he runs Bell over with a shoulder. There’s the running dropkick and they head outside as this is one sided so far. Chops against the post and in the corner back inside ensue, setting up the necksnap to keep Bell in trouble. The knee lift and dropkick set up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: C. Now that was more like it, as Perfect barely broke a sweat here and won with absolutely no trouble. Perfect could make things look so smooth out there and that was on full display here. This was a good year for Perfect, who got to show that he could still do it as well as he did before, but with a bit more of a veteran style to it. Nice stuff here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Ludvig Borga doesn’t like trash or Lex Luger, who STANDS UP for trash.

Bobby Heenan talks to a man who proposed to his girlfriend, but Heenan makes the woman hold his Kleenex. Then he steals her popcorn.

IRS vs. PJ Walker

Walker is better known as Justin Credible but IRS declares him a tax cheat. IRS takes him outside for an early whip into the steps as Razor Ramon comes out to watch. That’s enough of a distraction for Walker to grab a rollup for the big upset at 1:19.

The Quebecers know the Steiners have earned a title shot….but there are more deserving teams so the Quebecers will defend against them instead. The Steiners being suspended around this time is just a coincidence I assure you.

The preview (including JIMMY SNUKA of all people, complete with the famous cage splash footage) wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. The opener got the time to make things a bit better and the upset in the end was a nice surprise. This was much more to the formula for the early days of Raw and it wasn’t a half bad show. There is good stuff around this time and if you can get through some of the boring, it can be pretty entertaining to watch week to week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a really odd entry in the series as the namesake match is being treated as secondary to almost everything else. Really, coming into this show, there’s a good argument to be made that Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie is being treated as a bigger deal than the Rumble itself. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

The winner is in the Rumble and the loser is out in the cold. They do the customary exchange of shoves to start with the fans almost entirely behind Lesnar. Brock drives him into the corner to little avail but the belly to belly works a bit better. A second works just as well but the third is countered with a scary toss over the top. Back in and we hit the choke, which you can tell is serious because Cole starts talking about Show’s shoe size.

Brock comes right back with the release German suplex but Heyman offers a distraction to break things up. A big boot and side slam drop Lesnar for all of ten seconds before he’s back up with an other belly to belly. Cue Heyman but he gets caught in an F5 attempt, only to have Show make the save with a chokeslam for two. A second attempt is countered into a sloppy F5 to send Lesnar to the Rumble.

Rating: D+. It was short (less than seven minutes) and had the only possible ending (it’s not like there are many other potential Rumble winners) so it’s hard to complain that much. The F5 didn’t look great but it was how the match should have ended. This probably needs to be about it for Big Show as a main event guy but you know that’s not going to be the case, which is part of the problem on Smackdown.

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending. Bubba punches Storm in the corner to start and hits something like a spinebuster. To really mix things up, Bubba grabs a leglock for a few seconds before handing it off to D-Von. Regal comes in and gets punched as well as this isn’t exactly shaking the feeling that it’s a glorified Raw match. The champs take over on D-Von with Storm drop toeholding him down into a sliding knee from Regal (nice spot).

We hit the cravate for a bit and a chinlock keeps D-Von in trouble. That doesn’t last long either though as D-Von fights up and makes the hot tag to Bubba for the house cleaning. Regal takes What’s Up but here’s Chief Morely for a distraction to prevent the 3D. It doesn’t quite work so well though as D-Von uses the distraction to grab Regal’s brass knuckles and knock Storm silly for the pin and the titles. Lawler: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” He’s confused enough to refer to Regal as Steve.

Rating: C-. This was just a Raw match with a title change and considering Booker T. and Goldust never even got a rematch after losing the titles, I have no idea what the thinking here is. Were Booker and Goldust really that bad of a team? I know it’s a sin to get over without the company swearing off on it but it’s some of the oddest booking of the year.

House show ads. They didn’t edit this off the Network? I like having the complete versions but it’s a strange choice to keep in.

Nathan Jones vignette.

We get a long recap of the Al Wilson Saga, which still doesn’t make much sense and went on WAY too long if this is their big idea. Basically Dawn Marie decided she wanted to destroy Torrie Wilson’s life (I think?) by marrying Torrie’s father. She eventually went through with it but had so much, ahem, fun with Al on their honeymoon that he died.

Dawn blames Torrie for this and the match is on, even though it was booked before Al died. If this was all some big con by Dawn, what does she get out of it? Getting a match with Torrie? She seems upset and we haven’t gotten any scene of Dawn saying it was all made up so I guess we’re supposed to take it at face value. I know I harp on this a lot but I still don’t get how this was supposed to work.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Dawn stays on the arm (that’ll teach Torrie for killing Dawn’s husband) and grabs a flapjack. They collide in a bad looking spot and the boring chants begin. Dawn actually hits a decent looking middle rope spinning clothesline, only to fall victim to that horrible swinging neckbreaker to give Torrie the pin.

Rating: F. Really, what else were you expecting here? The feud was as soap opera level as you’re going to have and the wrestlers are both models and little more. Somehow that’s about as much as you could have thought these two would do and hopefully it wraps up the story for good. I know it won’t but it would be nice.

Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon run into each other in the back with Stephanie being smug about Eric’s thirty days to fix Raw deal. Eric asks if her job is safe too but she doesn’t seem worried, partially because she has her own surprise for Raw. As with most cases of both GM’s on screen at once, this was a big waste of time.

Sean O’Haire tells us not to go to church.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. HHH. Steiner showed up in November and was immediately shoved into the title picture but hasn’t actually had a match yet. Instead it’s been stuff like a posedown, a bench press contest (which didn’t happen), arm wrestling and a pushup contest. The idea is that Steiner can do everything HHH can and might also be completely insane. The fact that they’ve barely been allowed to get physical should be a bit worrisome but HHH wouldn’t let us down.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging and HHH is in the ultra rare red trunks. Before the bell, Hebner holds up the title and insists that he’s the law around here no matter what. Steiner wins the early slugout and chops away in the corner, followed by the gorilla press to send HHH rolling to the floor. The champ’s back is sent into the post a few times and a hard Irish whip makes his back even worse.

We hit a Boston crab for a bit with HHH crawling to the ropes a few seconds later. That’s not very noteworthy, but Steiner falling over when the hold is broken isn’t the most encouraging sign. The facebuster is no sold and we hit a quickly broken bearhug. Steiner gets in the first belly to belly for two and Flair pulls him out to the floor.

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Scott catapults him into the buckle and grabs the second overhead suplex….before just collapsing next to the ropes. We’re not even nine minutes into the match and the guy can’t even stand up. Steiner picks him up for what looks like a Tombstone and you would think he was about to go into labor. HHH slips out and tries a Diamond Cutter but Steiner goes backwards with it like a regular neckbreaker. After all those years of working with Diamond Dallas Page he can’t take a standard face first bump?

You can hear the crowd losing their patience with this one. Flair plays cheerleader and the fans actually cheer for HHH, who may be boring but he’s at least looking competent here. The champ dives into another overhead suplex but Steiner still can’t follow up. Some Steiner Lines set up suplexes four, five and six, followed by a spinning version for two.

Steiner tries a tiger bomb and falls down, drawing straight up booing from the fans. The announcers are trying as hard as they can to make Steiner sound like a threat here and it’s going as badly as you would expect. HHH heads up top so it’s a superplex for two more. That’s enough to send HHH and Flair up the aisle but Steiner isn’t done yet and drags them back. As lame as an ending as that would be, it was the right call at this point.

A belt shot to HHH’s head draws some blood and they continue to stagger around ringside with no idea what to do. Another belly to belly (ninth suplex total) sends HHH outside again and they brawl into the crowd because THIS MATCH JUST CAN’T END. Back in again with Steiner doing the pushups and laboring through some right hands in the corner. Now Flair tries to get the referee to stop the match but the referee keeps going because he’s that kind of evil.

Steiner hates the match as much as everyone else does so he throws Hebner outside but THAT’S NOT A DQ EITHER. The tenth suplex gets two and you can see Steiner looking desperate. HHH gets in a low blow and rolls Steiner up for two. That’s FINALLY enough for HHH as he grabs sledgehammer and hits Scott in the ribs for the DQ, earning a chorus of boos that would make Roman Reigns proud.

Rating: N. For Not HHH’s Fault. For once, this can’t be blamed on HHH, who was just stuck in a horrible situation and couldn’t do anything with it. To be fair though, no one was going to be able to get anything passable out of this mess. Steiner wasn’t ready for this match and had no business going more than five minutes, let alone eighteen. The interesting thing here though is the first eight minutes ran more than well enough. It was a boring start but it was nowhere near a disaster or even really bad. The problem is the second half of the match where EVERYTHING falls apart.

You’ll hear a lot of comparisons between this Steiner and Brock Lesnar’s Suplex City but the key is in the delivery. Lesnar suplexes the heck out of people and then pops up to do it again. Steiner was suplexing HHH here and then taking twenty seconds to get to his feet out of pure exhaustion. When you can see wrestlers go twenty minutes without even breathing hard, there’s no excuse for a main eventer nearly passing out from exhaustion in the first ten minutes. There’s a reason this is remembered so horribly and it more than lives down to its reputation.

Post match Steiner hits him with the sledgehammer and grabs the Steiner Recliner. JR: “There’s no way out of this hold.” In other words, yes they’re actually doing a rematch. Bischoff eventually comes out and gets Steiner off of HHH as the fans are so apathetic towards any of this.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt won the title with help from his new agent Paul Heyman, who also represents Big Show. Benoit beat Show to become the new #1 contender and you know this is going to be a classic no matter what. That being said, there’s not much of a secret to the fact that they’re building towards Lesnar vs. Angle at this point. At least we can have an incredible match on the way there.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending. Benoit has to deal with Team Angle to start so that’s a double ejection. Chris tries a very quick Sharpshooter (which Tazz calls a Boston crab for some reason), sending Angle outside for a breather. Back in and another leg hold sends Angle to the ropes as it seems that they have a long time here.

Benoit easily wins a battle of the chops and gets two off a clothesline to the back of the head. A DDT onto the apron makes things even worse but Angle rolls away from the Swan Dive. The Angle Slam is reversed though and we hit the Sharpshooter. Angle grabs the ropes as well as a belly to belly (after that last match, I’m surprised those weren’t banned like bar stools on Frasier) to really take over for the first time.

We hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors on Benoit for a bit before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up and they trade German suplexes with Benoit getting the better of it. Chris takes too long going up top though and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex. The Crossface goes on a few seconds later with Benoit switching to the ankle lock (that’s like a Bingo space in an Angle match).

Kurt’s ankle lock is reversed into the Crossface which is reversed into a rollup which is reversed right back into the Crossface. Angle gets to his feet for an Angle Slam but there’s no cover. There go the straps though and it’s back to the ankle lock. Benoit gets two off a rollup as the announcers are losing their minds (rightfully so).

Kurt is sick of this submission stuff and tries a German suplex, only to have Benoit reverse into a release version, drawing quite the round of applause. With Angle three quarters of the way across the ring, Benoit hits the best looking Swan Dive I’ve ever seen for a delayed two. Angle grabs a powerbomb but drops Benoit face first onto the buckle, followed by another Slam for two.

We’re right back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock which can’t be reversed this time. Benoit kicks him away instead, only to get caught in the ankle lock again. Chris tries to pull him into the Crossface but Angle holds on and gets the grapevine to FINALLY make Benoit tap because he was beaten and he knew it.

Rating: A+. I’ve seen this match several times now and I’m still exhausted just watching it. These guys were beating the heck out of each other with everything looking anywhere from great to unbelievable (that Swan Dive in particular). This was outstanding stuff and one of the best wrestling matches I’ve ever seen. There’s also a bit of a HHH vs. Cactus Jack vibe to it with Angle being backed into a corner and having to fight, only to prove that he is indeed the better man, at least on this night. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in awhile, or just because it’s worth seeing multiple times.

After an Anthology ad, Benoit gets the big standing ovation, which probably should have sent him to a World Title shot (at least) at Wrestlemania. Instead it was a spot in a three way for the Tag Team Titles because that’s how WWE worked in 2003.

Rob Van Dam and Kane agree that it’s every man for himself tonight.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals (though Fink says two minutes) with Shawn Michaels at #1 and Chris Jericho at #2. If nothing else, at least Shawn is starting to look like a wrestler again instead of the tiny thing he was back at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second as it’s Christian in Jericho’s clothes instead of Chris himself. Cue Jericho from underneath the ring to hit Shawn low. One heck of a beatdown ensues with Jericho busting Shawn open with a chair as Christopher Nowinski is in at #3. He’s willing to stay on the floor while Jericho beats on Shawn some more and easily eliminates him.

Nowinski is still on the floor as Rey Mysterio is in at #4. Rey tries to speed things up and slips out of a gorilla press, only to get punched out to the apron. As usual, Jericho celebrates early and gets dropkicked into the ropes. Nowinski FINALLY gets in and it’s Edge in at #5. Outside of Nowinski, that’s quite the first four. Spears abound as Rey gets back into it and Nowinski is sent outside but not eliminated.

Jericho is sent into the post and through the ropes to the floor. Rey and Edge shake hands and go at it with Rey hitting the 619 but he gets powerbombed to put both guys down. It’s Christian in at #6 with an offer to reform the team with Edge. That earns him a spear but here’s Nowinski to throw Edge and Mysterio to the apron. Chavo Guerrero is in at #7 as the Smackdown is strong with this Rumble.

Rey and Chavo do a quick lucha sequence with the 619 setting up a springboard seated senton. Christian eats a 619 of his own, followed by a hurricanrana to get rid of Nowinski. Jericho comes back in for a hard clothesline to get rid of Mysterio and here’s Tajiri in at #8. Things settle down a bit with Chavo choking Jericho in the corner and Tajiri not being able to eliminate Christian.

Bill DeMott is in at #9 and attacks various people in short order. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled here as we’re waiting on the big name to clean out some of these names. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 to give us Dreamer, Jericho, Edge, Christian, Chavo, Tajiri and DeMott. Dreamer brings weapons with him and Edge knocks DeMott out with a kendo stick. Jericho and Christian hit a con-trashcanlid-o on Dreamer and get rid of him without much effort. Tajiri takes them both down with a handspring elbow but the Tarantula is easily broken up, allowing Jericho to get rid of him.

B2, still with the Cena entrance theme, is in at #11…and Edge gets rid of him in less than thirty seconds. Chavo is speared out next, followed by a bloody Jericho (from a Dreamer kendo stick shot) dumping Edge and Christian to leave himself all alone. Rob Van Dam is in at #12 because Edge/Van Dam vs. Christian/Jericho was out of the question for some reason. A superkick has Jericho in trouble and he’s catapulted all the way to the apron. Matt Hardy, who strongly dislikes mustard, is in at #13 and drops Rob with a Side Effect.

Van Dam gets double teamed for a bit until he flips over Jericho and kicks Matt in the face for good measure. The Five Star hits Jericho and it’s Eddie Guerrero in at #14. We get a rehash of Eddie vs. Van Dam from last year until Matt helps Eddie set up an ugly frog splash. That earns Eddie a Twist of Fate (Eddie is smarter than that) and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #15.

Jeff doesn’t buy the reunion idea either (like anyone would buy a Hardys reunion in 2003 or beyond) and beats Matt up, only to have Shannon Moore dive onto Matt to save him from a Swanton. That’s fine with Jeff so he crushes both of them as Rosey is in at #16. Matt gets backdropped to the apron as the eliminations have slowed WAY down. Test is in at #17 and gets to clean house a bit without eliminating anyone. You know, because Rosey needs to stick around.

A rapping John Cena is in at #18 giving reasons why he’s going to win this. The camera stays on him and for once it’s not the biggest problem as nothing is going on in the ring. Van Dam beats him up on the floor (maybe for wrestling in jeans instead of jean shorts for a change) and it’s Charlie Haas in at #19. Where are Lesnar and Undertaker to clear these people out? Jeff tries to run up the corner so Rob eliminates him, still leaving us with far too many people.

Rikishi is in at #20, giving us Rikishi, Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Rosey, Test, Cena and Haas. Rosey and Rikishi have a weird family reunion as Shannon comes in to protect Matt. That just earns him a double Stinkface, or at least it would have if Rosey hadn’t clotheslined Rikishi instead. Jamal is in at #21 to superkick Rikishi, who pops right back up with a Stinkface for his…..brother I believe.

Kane is in at #22 to clean house but he brings Rico in with a chokeslam to fill the ring up even more. Rosey is tossed in a hurry and it’s a double chokeslam for Matt and Shannon. Shelton Benjamin is in at #23 as the ring is WAY too full with eleven people in there, plus Shannon and Rico at various times. They all fight near the ropes and it’s Booker T. in at #24. We go to a weird closeup for an ax kick on Kane and there’s the Spinarooni. Eddie gets backdropped out and it’s A-Train in at #25.

A good looking A-Train Bomb (chokebomb) plants Cena and another one hits Van Dam but Rikishi superkicks A-Train in the face. Jericho is sent to the apron AGAIN but here’s a bandaged Shawn to go after Jericho, allowing Test to knock him out. Shawn stays on Jericho and that’s a Wrestlemania match. Maven is in at #26 (because this match needed two Tough Enough names) and goes after Kane as things slow down again. Goldust is in at #27 and doesn’t even last a minute before Team Angle puts him out. They do the same to Booker T. a few seconds later, making sure that the Booker T./Goldust team is swiftly beaten again.

Batista is in at #28 and gets rid of Test (after EIGHTEEN MINUTES, or longer than Edge and Mysterio combined) and Rikishi. Brock Lesnar is in at #29 and becomes the most obvious winner since….well last year with HHH actually. He wastes no time in getting rid of Team Angle before throwing Matt onto both of them. Now that’s how you clear out some bodies. Undertaker is in at #30 to give us a final group of Undertaker, Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista and Lesnar. Not the worst field actually.

Undertaker dumps Cena (Which could have set up a heck of a Wrestlemania match today but we wanted a reality show moment instead. Yes you did want that and Kevin Dunn told me so.) and Jamal (Why was he still there?) before Maven hits the same dropkick as last year. This time there’s no effect though, making Maven’s celebration a bit amusing.

After Maven is launched out, A-Train hits the A-Train Bomb on Undertaker. Van Dam and Kane get rid of A-Train and we’re down to five. Kane loads up Rob in a gorilla press….and throws him out in a smart move (not a heel turn). Batista and Kane are put down with a double clothesline and it’s time for Lesnar vs. Undertaker.

That’s broken up before anything can happen though and the Brothers of Destruction start taking over. Brock takes care of Batista and Kane so we can have the Undertaker showdown. The F5 is countered and Brock takes a Tombstone, followed by Undertaker dumping Batista and Kane. Batista comes back in and eats a chair shot, leaving Brock to eliminate Undertaker for the win.

Rating: B. There was a REALLY bad dead spot in the middle and some of the choices were all over the place (Test, Jamal and Rikishi all getting over fourteen minutes while Los Guerreros, Edge and Mysterio were all afterthoughts) but the ending was the right call. The final four wasn’t a bad group at all and having Lesnar dump Undertaker to win is as good a move as they could have made.

There was VERY little build to this match and they did well enough with it while they could. It’s not a terrible Rumble but there are many better options. Fix the middle part and get rid of people at a faster clip and it’s a great one, but as it is it’s just pretty good. Then again, for this year that’s quite the compliment.

The big problem here though is how weak the midcard and lower card is. Maybe it’s just the way some of them were booked but aside from Lesnar, Undertaker and MAYBE Jericho, was anyone a real threat to win here? Having an obvious winner is fine but it would be nice to build up someone else as a possible winner.

Overall Rating: B-. The World Title matches cancel each other out and thankfully the Rumble is there to make up for a nothing lower card. Lesnar winning was the obvious ending here and that left the rest of the show to really carry things. Angle vs. Benoit is must see and Steiner vs. HHH may be as well if you’re into unintentional comedy. The rest of the show though…..egads there’s nothing to see there. It’s a perfectly good show but the problems are very big and the Rumble isn’t good enough to make it a classic.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D
2013 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C
2013 Redo: D
2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD
2013 Redo: D-
2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-
2013 Redo: H (For HHH)
2017 Redo: N (For Not HHH’s Fault)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C-
2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

And the 2013 redo here:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is your standard montage of wrestlers talking about what it means to go to Wrestlemania because the road starts tonight.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Chris Jericho is ready to win the Rumble and gets his World Title back at Wrestlemania.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Nathan Jones vignette.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn is in regular ring gear and a black veil, which makes her look more like Jimmy Jack Funk (from the neck up) than anything else. Dawn elbows her in the face at the bell but Torrie takes her down as well as these two are going to be able to do. Torrie gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar as the announcers cover the story in detail. Well the recent part at least as basically everything after Armageddon has been forgotten at this point.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Back in and Steiner charges into a boot to the face before being sent into the steps for good measure. HHH stomps and chokes in the corner with Flair adding choking of his own. Another neckbreaker gets two for the champ and you can see how winded Steiner already is. Flair chokes on the ropes again to fill in as much time as possible before Steiner reverses the Pedigree.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Royal Rumble

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: C-

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Original: DD

2013 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: F

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

2013 Redo: H (For HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: B-

This is a rare instance where the original is much closer to the new ratings than the first redo. Maybe I was in a bad mood that day?

You can read the original review here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

And the 2013 redo here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

The opening video is about what you would expect it to be: thirty men wanting to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

A big boot slows Brock down and a side slam looks to set up the chokeslam. Brock kind of rolls through it into a two count, followed by another belly to belly. Heyman gets dragged in but Show saves him from an F5. The chokeslam gets two as Heyman is losing his mind. Show gets rammed into Heyman and the F5 sends Brock to the Rumble.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Nathan Jones is coming. Oh geez.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

House show ads, including one for 7pm on a Monday night.

Nathan Jones is STILL coming. Seriously did we need that twice in 30 minutes?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

HHH has red trunks on here for some reason. He mixed them up every now and then and rarely did the other colors work. Stick with basic black Game. Hebner brings them to the middle for instructions which is ultra rare stuff. Steiner wins an early slugout and pounds on the champion in the corner. A gorilla press sends HHH to the floor and Steiner pounds away with those weird looking overhand punches of his.

Remember that back stuff he did at the beginning? Completely forgotten. Did you see him try his finisher? Not even once. He somehow managed a belly to belly suplex every two minutes, despite being on defense for a good third of the match. This was absolutely horrible and quite possibly the worst world title match I can EVER remember, which is covering a lot of ground.

We cut to Cole and Tazz and even MICHAEL FREAKING COLE has a look on his face as if to say “WOW that was an abomination.”

We recap Benoit vs. Angle. Angle won the title from Big Show at Armageddon thanks to Lesnar before revealing that he hired Paul Heyman to be his new manager. Heyman said anyone could get a shot other than Brock Lesnar and brought in Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) to protect Kurt during a knee injury. Benoit won a title shot over Big Show to set this up.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Back to the floor where Benoit gets dropped onto the barricade to further mess with his head. Off to a rear naked choke back inside so Kurt can overly loudly call some spots. Angle catches Benoit in another belly to belly followed by a belly to back for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit rolls some Germans but so does Angle. And people wonder why their necks were held together by tape.

Royal Rumble

The Bronco Buster hits Nowitski and Chavo is #7. He immediately takes Rey down but gets caught in a 619. Rey drops the dime on Chavo and hits a 619 on Christian. He tries a springboard rana on Christian but lands on Nowitski and takes him to the floor in the process. Jericho puts Mysterio out, leaving us with Jericho, Edge, Christian and Chavo at the moment. You can add Tajiri at #8 to that list.

Maven from Tough Enough (finally with actual trunks) is #26. He goes right for Kane like an idiot and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Goldust is #27 and he barely makes it 45 seconds before Haas and Benjamin put him out. Booker goes off on Haas in the corner but gets thrown out by Team Angle as well. He would get the world title shot at HHH as a consolation prize.

Taker punches everyone and dumps Cena and Jamal with ease. Maven dropkicks Taker in the back and celebrates, earning himself a chokeslam. The elimination is academic. A-Train hits the chokebomb on Taker to finally slow him down as Kane chokeslams Lesnar. Kane and Van Dam, the Raw tag champions, start teaming up to beat people up but A-Train takes them both down. Van Dam saves Kane from a backbreaker and the champs double clothesline Albert out.

Taker says go win the title but he wants the first shot. Brock says ok to end the show. Did we need that?

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

Redo: D

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Original: DD

Redo: D-

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

Redo: H (As in HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6