Monday Night Raw – September 19, 2016: It’s Like A Little League Movie

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 19, 2016
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Clash of Champions as we now go two weeks between single brand pay per views. The big stories coming into tonight seem to be Mick Foley punishing Seth Rollins for interfering in last week’s main event and the return of Rusev, who came back last week to go after Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.

Last Week on Raw, Kevin Owens beat Reigns to retain the title despite interference by Rollins and thanks to help from Rusev.

Here’s Reigns to get things going but Stephanie McMahon cuts him off, only to have Mick Foley cut her off. Stephanie: “FOLEY! FOLEY! FOLEY!” Thank you Stephanie, though we didn’t need your input. Foley apologizes for letting things get out of hands last week and makes Rusev vs. Rollins for tonight. On the other hand, Reigns will be getting a US Title shot against Rusev on Sunday. Stephanie: “And I personally guarantee it will happen.” Reigns: “Thanks Stephanie. That means so much coming from you.” I might have applauded that line.

Foley goes into a discussion of Raw vs. Smackdown and says he’s out of a job if they lose the ratings war. That means Kevin Owens vs. Reigns again tonight. This brings out Owens to say he should be getting ready for the title match on Sunday. Stephanie says tonight is non-title but Foley makes it a cage match.

After a break, Stephanie and Foley are in the back when Rusev comes up to plug Lana’s movie (Interrogation, with Edge) and Holy Foley. Rusev leaves and Foley gets a call from Chris Jericho.

Rusev vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. Rusev starts in with his variety of kicks but gets dropkicked out to the floor for his efforts. Rollins is sent back first into the post and a hard whip sends him back first into the buckle for good measure. Some right hands stagger Rusev as Rollins looks so at home as a face. Unfortunately he’s not quite at home on the top as Rusev slams him down with one arm to take us to a break.

Back with Seth fighting out of a waistlock and hitting a quick enziguri for a breather. There’s the Sling Blade to keep Rusev in trouble and Rollins muscles him over for a Falcon Arrow. Rusev comes right back with a superkick to the shoulder (even Cole acknowledges how off it was) for two of his own. Seth gets in the springboard knee and a suicide dive. They fight up the aisle and that’s a double countout at 11:52.

Rating: C+. Oh sweet goodness is Rollins perfect as a face. His size makes him as natural of a good guy as you can get and I still don’t know why they brought him back as a heel other than to make sure Reigns stayed a face. Well, as much of a face as Reigns ca be in the fans’ eyes.

Post match they fight over to the announcers’ table where Seth escapes a powerbomb and dives off the table to take Rusev out.

Dana Brooke yells at Foley about last week’s double pin. The solution: ANOTHER FREAKING TRIPLE THREAT MATCH. Can you imagine if there were this many last man standing matches or cage matches? Almost every story has to wind up as a triple threat at some point and it’s getting really, really tiresome.

Videos on Cedric Alexander and Brian Kendrick, both of whom are debuting as cruiserweights tonight.

Owens and Jericho have a list of grievances for Foley.

Braun Strowman vs. Sin Cara

Rematch from two weeks ago. Cara fires away right hands and kicks to start until Strowman just runs him over like a monster. We hit an early neck crank for a bit before Cara tries to speed things up, only to have his moonsault caught in a powerslam for the pin at 1:54. What in the world was the point of the countout a few weeks ago?

Bayley and Sasha Banks are ready to team together tonight but they’ll fight on Sunday.

Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Sasha rolls Dana up to start before it’s off to Bayley, who sends Charlotte into the buckle and us to a break. Back with Bayley in trouble as the heels take turns cranking on her arms. Bayley gets in a back elbow and middle rope armdrag, allowing the tag to Sasha for a double suplex. Charlotte is smart enough to go after the huge tape around Sasha’s ribs. It’s back to Dana to send Sasha face first into the mat a few times. A headscissors puts Charlotte down and the real hot tag brings in Bayley. Dana saves the Bayley to Belly though and it’s a big boot from Charlotte for the pin on Bayley at 11:09.

Rating: C. Perfectly acceptable formula tag match here with the rib injury giving it an easy story and Charlotte getting some momentum heading into the title match after losing for weeks leading into the title defense. It’s always fun to see the women having the same kind of match you would expect from the men with the only exception being their genders. The lack of PUPPIES chants probably helps a lot too.

Seth goes into Stephanie’s office. After a break, Rollins asks Stephanie why she threw him away for Owens. Stephanie says she had nothing to do with HHH (and since she’s apparently not asked her husband about this once) but it was Seth who allowed the title to go to her brother’s show. Maybe HHH was tired of Seth ruining HHH’s reputation (which has a street value of about $14). Seth is going to prove that the Authority put their money on the wrong horse. Stephanie gets all serious (of course) and orders him to not threaten her.

Bo Dallas vs. Gary Graham

Bo does more serious poetry about how only he can believe in himself. It’s another quick beatdown with knees and right hands as the fans chant for the jobber. The Roll of the Dice ends Graham at 1:18.

Video on the Cruiserweight Classic final.

Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match six in the best of seven series with Cesaro down 3-2 and let’s get this over with. They slug it out to start and Cesaro flips out of an early backdrop attempt. Sheamus sends him outside and we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting the uppercut train to knock Sheamus over the barricade and next to some Memphis Grizzlies’ feet.

Cesaro can’t do the apron superplex though and gets caught in White Noise onto the apron. The Brogue Kick misses but Cesaro walks into the Irish Curse for two. Sheamus grabs the Cloverleaf but gets small packaged for two. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets the same on Cesaro before he ducks the Brogue Kick and Neutralizes Sheamus for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C-. The same problems that have plagued this stupid series for a month are still around here and I won’t bother going over them again. This would have been a lot better if the last three or four matches had a gimmick or something but the fact that we’re heading to a seventh match and nothing has changed really isn’t interesting.

Foley makes the seventh match for Clash of Champions when Jericho comes in. Jericho accuses him of never being a fan but Foley brings up recommending him to Paul Heyman for ECW. Chris has his List of Jericho (list of grievances), which now includes a bad fashion sense. As you might expect, Foley brings up the scarf look. Jericho: “This is very big in Luxemburg.” Foley: “Well it looks ridiculous, right here, in Memphis, Tennessee.” Jericho: “Number six: Uses cheap babyface pops.”

It’s time for Jericho’s list of grievances. First up: Foley is trying to drive a wedge between Jericho and Owens. A fan yells at him so Jericho adds “brace face in row twelve”. We get to the Sami Zayn phone attack last week but here are Enzo and Cass to interrupt. Cass lists off some great friendships, including Bevis and Butthead and Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson.

Cue the Shining Stars to offer some time shares. This brings out the New Day with Kofi saying they have a very good reason to be out here. Big E.: “We have nothing better to do.” Woods promises to keep the titles on Sunday so here are Anderson and Gallows to interrupt. Jericho says everyone in the ring is on his stupid idiot list but here’s Sami because we need a tenth guy for the huge tag match.

Shining Stars/Chris Jericho/Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo and Cass/Sami Zayn/New Day

We start after a break with Kofi spinning into a crossbody for two on Jericho. It’s off to Sami vs. Epico before Big E. comes in for his spanking abdominal stretch. Anderson comes in and catches Kofi with a spinebuster as the bad guys take over. That lasts all of thirty seconds before the hot tag brings in Big Cass to clean house. The Empire Elbow gets two on Primo as everything breaks down. Sami runs the corner for his tornado DDT and there’s a Helluva Kick to Primo. The Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is enough for the pin on Primo at 5:24.

Rating: D+. This is as simple of a way as you’re going to find to do three matches in one on a show where Stephanie needs ten segments. I’m assuming Enzo and Cass get their win back on Sunday’s pre-show and that’s fine enough of a way to end such a nothing feud. Enzo and Cass have to fight New Day sometime and they’d be fine to take the belts away, especially since New Day is less than three months away from Demolition’s record.

We recap the opening segment.

Videos on Gran Metalik and Rich Swann.

Video on Eddie Guerrero in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month.

Here’s Foley to introduce the cruiserweights. After screwing up a few of his lines, Foley talks about the Cruiserweight Classic and introduces Rich Swann, Gran Metalik, Cedric Alexander and Brian Kendrick. Foley makes the first match: a fatal fourway for the shot at TJ Perkins’ Cruiserweight Title on Sunday.

Rich Swann vs. Gran Metalik vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Brian Kendrick

One fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start since there are no tags, eventually leaving us with Kendrick and Alexander. Brian bails to the floor but gets kicked in the face so Alexander sunset flips Metalik for two. A springboard clothesline gets two more on Metalik but Swann comes back in to kick Cedric in the back.

Swann and Alexander trade strikes and miss kicks until Cedric flips out of a headscissors. A big flip dive takes Kendrick down and it’s only Metalik in the ring. You know what that means as Metalik dives onto everyone, finally drawing a reaction from the crowd. Kendrick breaks up Metalik’s springboard and throws Swann and Alexander into various objects. A few kicks to Swann’s leg take us to a break.

Back with Alexander breaking up Swann’s cover on Metalik but Kendrick grabs a tornado DDT for two of his own on Metalik. Swann’s jumping 450 looks to finish Alexander but Kendrick grabs his Captain’s Hook (bully choke) on Cedric, only to have Metalik make the save. A Lumbar Check drops Metalik and the Captain’s Hook makes Alexander tap and sends Kendrick to the title shot at 15:04.

Rating: C-. Blame it on whomever you want but this fell apart because of the time. This should have been about people flying all over the place and keeping things moving. You know, like a cruiserweight match. Instead it was your run of the mill WWE multi-man match with WAY too much time and the fans just dying throughout. The guys ran out of things to do and then had six or seven minutes to go. Horrible booking decision here and odds are it’s more of the same bickering between Kevin Dunn and HHH’s camps with Kevin trying to shoot down whatever HHH sets up. Oh and the new champ doesn’t even get a cameo? Really?

Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox on the pre-show.

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Non-title and inside a cage. Reigns slugs away to start but wants nothing of going through the door. The champ gets beaten down in the corner and a running clothesline makes it even worse. A ram into the cage wall sets up a superkick for two on Roman and we take a break. Back with Owens getting crotched on the top and getting crushed up against the cage a few times.

Reigns’ clotheslines have Owens in trouble but he has to Superman punch his way out of a Pop Up Powerbomb. The second attempt at the powerbomb gets two for Owens and they go to the top rope for some rams into the cage. Both guys are down and Reigns sprints up the cage to get outside before Owens can go through the door for the win at 13:17.

Rating: D+. Not only was it boring and not only was there no reason for this to be a cage match but Reigns winning makes Owens’ big problem even worse: he feels like someone who is just there while Stephanie has her issues with Foley/Rollins/Smackdown or whatever disease she’s so passionate about that week. This should have been Rusev coming out and costing Reigns the match and then doing the beatdown that we all know is coming. But no, instead Reigns is the big star and Owens is just another loser.

Post match, Rusev comes out and locks the door so he can put Reigns in the Accolade. You know, because THERE’S NO WAY REIGNS COULD EVER GET OVER A CAGE WALL. Rollins comes out and does the big dive off the top (reminiscent of Rey Mysterio in the early days of the first Brand Split), not even bothering to look at the door because THERE ISN’T A ROOF ON THE CAGE. Everyone is down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s just too long and I don’t know how many other ways there are to say that. Whether it’s seeing Sheamus vs. Cesaro week after week after week or the cruiserweights’ debut being one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a long time or even more Stephanie and Foley hijinks, these shows feel like they’re going on for days instead of three hours. These shows are too long and the matches and promos having to be stretched out to fill in the time shows worse every week.

Then there’s the main feud as it feels like Stephanie’s latest promo about her power struggle (which DOESN’T EXIST) should end Sunday’s show instead of Owens vs. Rollins. It’s like watching some kids movie about rival Little League teams where the parents are more into the fighting than the adults and that’s getting really, really annoying.

Just let HHH come back and do the match with Rollins at Survivor Series like they should, rather than stretching this ALL THE WAY TO FREAKING WRESTLEMANIA BECAUSE HHH IS WORTHY OF THE BIG STAGE. That main event and these stupid angles ticked me off tonight like they haven’t in a long, long time and that’s not good for any show, especially when they’re heading into a pay per view.

Results

Rusev vs. Seth Rollins went to a double countout

Braun Strowman b. Sin Cara – Powerslam

Charlotte/Dana Brooke b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Big boot to Bayley

Cesaro b. Sheamus – Neutralizer

New Day/Enzo and Big Cass/Sami Zayn b. Shining Stars/Chris Jericho/Anderson and Gallows – Bada Boom Shaka Lacka to Primo

Brian Kendrick b. Gran Metalik, Rich Swann and Cedric Alexander – Captain’s Hook to Alexander

Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Reign escaped the cage

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Monday Night Raw – September 12, 2016: Third Hour Blues

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2016
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Corey Graves

Raw’s woes begin again this week as there’s a double header of Monday Night Football tonight. The company is countering with Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens and if Reigns wins, he’s added to the Raw World Title match at Clash of Champions. In theory this should involve some Rusev interference but that might be a bit too much common sense. Let’s get to it.

We open with Last Week on Raw with Seth Rollins turning face and getting a title shot at the pay per view.

Opening sequence.

Mick Foley is in the ring to talk about the main event and to introduce Charlotte with Dana Brooke. Charlotte brow beats Dana for the loss to Bayley and is trying to get the records change to say that Dana lost last week. Dana tries to apologize but Mick cuts them off to talk about Clash of Champions. This brings out Sasha to say she’s taking the title at the pay per view.

Before that can go anywhere, here’s Bayley to interrupt as well. She would love to see Sasha get a title shot tonight but Bayley beat the champ last week so maybe she should get a title shot instead. Charlotte laughs this off and says Sasha doesn’t get to pick when the title is defended.

Mick does though and suggests that we need a #1 contender. Dana suggests another best of seven series but Charlotte threatens to slap the taste out of her mouth. That goes nowhere though as Mick makes Sasha vs. Bayley for the #1 contendership tonight. Dana slaps Charlotte before anyone can realize how stupid it is to waste Sasha vs. Bayley here, earning her a spot in the #1 contenders match as well.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks vs. Dana Brooke

The winner gets the title shot at Clash of Champions and Charlotte is on commentary. Bayley is quickly sent outside and Sasha is sent outside to follow, allowing Bayley to roll Dana up for two. Dana gets beaten down and pulled to the floor, leaving us with a showdown as we take a break. Back with Dana cranking on Bayley’s arms as you can really see that they’re protecting Sasha by letting the other two do the bulk of the work.

Sasha comes back in and loads up the double knees, only to put Bayley underneath her. Bayley moves and Dana takes the full thing, leaving Bayley to go up top for the high crossbody. The Tower of Doom plants Dana and it’s off to the Bank Statement. Bayley makes the save and hits the Bayley to Belly on Dana, only to have Sasha roll Bayley up for the pin at 12:14. Ignore Sasha’s shoulders being down on the rollup and Bayley’s feet being on top of her.

Rating: C+. Sasha hiding and bad ending aside, this was about what you would want out of these three in a triple threat. Well aside from Bayley getting pinned of course. You know maybe I have more problems with this match than I was thinking. I’m not sure why you don’t have Dana take the fall here but at least it wasn’t Sasha vs. Bayley one on one.

Post break Dana apologizes to Charlotte but the champ just tells her to get the bags. Was that slap already erased from existence?

The Shining Stars offer R-Truth a time share in Puerto Rico. Truth: “YAHTZEE!” Goldust comes in before the payment goes through though and here are Enzo and Cass to say last week’s loss wasn’t fair. Spanish is spoken and I think the challenge is accepted.

Kevin Owens calls HHH his mentor and says Roman Reigns doesn’t belong in the same ring as the champ. Tonight he’ll make sure Seth Rollins is all alone at Clash of Champions. Chris Jericho comes in to say he’ll be having Sami Zayn on the Highlight Reel tonight, even though he’s a stupid idiot.

Bo Dallas vs. Brandon Scott

Bo says he can only believe in himself. Brandon is sent into the corner and taken down by three straight gutbusters. A Roll of the Dice ends Scott at 1:13. Why are they making Bo better than he’s been since he debuted after that big ordeal a few weeks back?

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with promises of some hard hitting journalism. Jericho was excited about the idea of interviewing Kevin Owens, who is so handsome that Tom Cruise and/or Brad Pitt could play him in their life story movie. Instead he gets Sami Zayn, who is the lowest of the low. Jericho laughs at Sami for not even having Owens’ new phone number but Sami is amazed that Jericho brought him out here to talk about Owens. Zayn loves the idea that Jericho buys into what Owens says and he only cares about that Universal Title.

That doesn’t fly with Jericho so he takes credit for Sami and Owens wanting to be where they are today. Sami goes into a rant about how it was people like Eddie Guerrero who paved the way for him and now Jericho, a former World Champion, is just Kevin’s lackey. Jericho offers to show Sami a text from Kevin but breaks his phone over Sami’s head, likely setting up a match at the Clash.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Match #5 in the Best of 7 Series with Cesaro down 3-1. Sheamus hits him in the bad back to start and sends Cesaro into the corner a few times. A quick running uppercut looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus bails to the floor. More uppercuts give Cesaro two and we take a break. Back with Cesaro having to fight out of an over the shoulder backbreaker and hitting the high crossbody for two.

It’s too early for the Cloverleaf so Cesaro comes back with the springboard corkscrew uppercut for another near fall. White Noise is countered into the Sharpshooter but Cesaro’s back won’t let him get the hold on full. The Swing doesn’t work either and Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse. The High Cross is broken up and Cesaro grabs a rollup with his foot on the ropes for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C-. I’m not even going to bother complaining about how long this feud has been going. The cheating really doesn’t do anything for Cesaro other than keeping this thing going even longer but of course no one is going to say anything about it because that would make too much sense. The matches aren’t even bad as much as they’re just there at this point and that’s a lot bigger of a problem.

Seth Rollins comes in to see Mick Foley and accuses him of just being there to do whatever Stephanie wants him to do. Mick is really not happy with that and yells about it, only to have Rollins suggest that Mick is lost in all this.

Alicia Fox vs. Nia Jax

This is over Nia hurting Alicia’s friend last week. Nia says she doesn’t do crazy. Fox is sent into the corner for the required shoulders to the ribs and they head outside. Nia drives her back first into the post and then tosses her into the barricade a few times. A spear sends Alicia through the barricade and the match is stopped at about 2:00.

Here’s New Day to say that last week Gallows and Anderson tried to be entertaining. Woods: “DO NOT TOUCH OUR THING!” They load up the Old Day footage but say there’s no way we’re showing that again. That skit was so bad that it made everyone lose five minutes and thirty seven seconds of their lives. That time could have been spent watching Baltimore Ravens highlights (Big E: “Are we pandering now?”) or poured a big old bowl of BootyO’s. Anderson and Gallows come out to say they’ll win the titles and that’s about it. If WWE is telling you that one of their segments bombed, you can really tell it was bad.

Anderson and Gallows vs. New Day

Non-title with Kofi and Woods for the champs. This is joined in progress with Woods working on Anderson’s arm before it’s off to Kofi for a top rope stomp. Thankfully that lets us ignore the stupid line with the commentators comparing Anderson and Gallows to Demolition. Gallows comes I and throws Kofi to the floor before just kicking him in the face.

We hit the chinlock from Anderson as the announcers say the Smackdown Tag Team Champions aren’t in the same league as these teams. True but I wish they wouldn’t try to set up a brand vs. brand story yet. Kofi finally kicks away and makes the tag to Woods for some house cleaning, including the Honor Roll for two on Karl. The slugout actually goes to Xavier and the bottom rope tornado DDT sets up a top rope elbow. Gallows remembers he’s in the match and makes the save, setting up the Magic Killer to end Woods at 9:29.

Rating: C. This was 100% course correction for Anderson and Gallows as they turn into exactly what they should have been the whole time instead of whatever unfunny comedy they’ve been doing over the last few weeks. Nothing to see here for the most part but they’re going with a simple story instead of something that was embarrassing everyone involved.

Roman Reigns is ready to fight and wants to be at Clash of Champions.

Jinder Mahal vs. Jack Swagger

Mahal is now The Man That Comes In Peace and talks about spending time in monasteries to get rid of his hatred. They slug it out to start with Mahal actually getting the better of it until they head outside with Swagger fighting back. Back in and a running knee to the face gets two on Jack. Swagger runs the ropes a few times before just stopping and elbowing Mahal in the face. The Vader Bomb misses and a running neckbreaker ends Swagger at 3:20.

Rating: D-. I’m trying to figure out if this was a bigger waste of time than last week’s Anderson and Gallows segment. The definition of “we hired him because he’s a warm body” just beat the least intimidating former World Champion this side of Vince Russo and WWE actually thinks we’re going to be interested in seeing where this goes. The cruiserweights can’t get here fast enough.

Connor’s Cure video.

Tom Phillips asks Swagger about his soon to expire contract but Jack walks away.

Enzo Amore vs. Epico

Enzo offers to plant some flowers in Epico’s, ahem, soil, after he knocks Epico out. We hear more about the Puerto Rico resort, which Graves has been able to visit. Sure the hotel is under construction and his room only had three walls but the beaches were nice. Epico rolls some suplexes and gets two off a delayed vertical. Enzo comes back and goes to the top, only to spend too much time dancing. Cass kicks Primo in the face but gets taken down by a suicide dive. That allows Enzo to come off the top with a dive but a suplex over the apron sets up the Bobby Heenan finish with Primo holding the foot so Epico can get the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D. This show always suffers from a really bad stretch in the third hour and this is no exception. We’ve had back to back bad matches featuring stories of people who don’t belong on this show being pushed for the simple reason of the show is three hours long and they don’t have enough talent to fill everything in. A lot of these people need to be repackaged or replaced because this stuff isn’t going to save them against football.

Rollins cuts Owens off in the back and says he hopes this stays a one on one match because he’d love nothing more than to beat up HHH’s little golden boy. Owens thinks that’s funny because Seth probably wants someone to do the work so he can steal the pin. Seth has always had a bunch of people doing his work for him, including HHH. All Seth has done is fail since he came back (Always remember: winning the title doesn’t matter. DEFENDING THE TITLE MATTERS!) while Owens won the title in his first chance.

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. Owens takes it outside to start so Reigns hits him in the face a few times. A slingshot kick to the jaw makes things worse for the champ but he takes Reigns down and slaps on a chinlock. Reigns fights up and gets booed some more, only to have Owens bail outside to avoid the Superman Punch. The Punch off the apron is blocked with a superkick and Owens sends him into the post as we go to a break.

Back with Owens holding another chinlock as this show somehow loses even more energy. Reigns finally fights out of it and they head outside again, only to have Rollins come out to attack Owens for the DQ at 13:14. Foley sends out the referees to get rid of Rollins but THE MATCH MUST CONTINUE! Back in and they slug it out with Reigns taking over off a Samoan drop. A bite under the arm (that’s a new one) breaks up a superplex and the spinning superplex gets two for the champ.

The Cannonball misses as this match just keeps going. Roman gets two off the Superman Punch but stops to send Owens into the post. The champ comes back with a pair of Cannonballs but Reigns jumps over the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cue Rusev for a distraction though (it’s about time) and the Pop Up Powerbomb ends Reigns at 23:21 (including the time between the DQ and the restart).

Rating: B. The ending was the exactly right call and it made me feel a lot better after not enjoying the match nearly as much as I should have. This was a good back and forth brawl but they were out there too long at the end of an already long show. Rusev vs. Reigns and Owens vs. Rollins are the right calls though and that makes a lot of things better.

Rusev beats Roman up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event did this show a lot of favors as it rolled over and died at the start of the third hour. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to have Jinder Mahal and the Shining Stars in back to back segments but the show lost everything it had built up in the previous two hours. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it’s the Raw Special: it would have been a good two hour show but the extra hour ruined whatever it could have been.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Bayley and Dana Brooke – Rollup to Bayley

Bo Dallas b. Brandon Scott – Roll of the Dice

Cesaro b. Sheamus – Rollup with foot on the ropes

Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox went to a no content when Jax speared Fox through the barricade

Anderson and Gallows b. New Day – Magic Killer to Woods

Jinder Mahal b. Jack Swagger – Running neckbreaker

Epico b. Enzo Amore – Pin with Primo holding Amore’s foot

Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns – Pop Up Powerbomb

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Monday Night Raw – September 5, 2016: A Labor Of Boredom

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 2016
Location: Sprint Center Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re in the Kevin Owens Era but the questions remain focused on HHH, who helped Owens win the title last week while also costing Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns at the same time. This almost has to set up a big match in the very near future though it’s really not clear gets to fight whom. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the last five minutes of Raw and focuses on the big online reaction.

Earlier today Stephanie McMahon demanded a big celebration for Owens. Mick Foley came up and looked really upset. Last week, HHH made him look like a fool and Stephanie won’t talk to him about it. Stephanie gets all serious when Foley accuses her of knowing what HHH was going to do. Stephanie: “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Oh here we go.

Foley actually cuts her off and tells a story about meeting Stephanie just after he flew off the Cell in 1998 and thought she was an innocent girl. Stephanie almost sounds vulnerable as she asks how she can maintain a shred of dignity after what happened last week. Mick believes her but gives a thinly veiled threat if this is all a lie.

Opening sequence.

Mick and Stephanie are in the ring and welcome Owens (in a SUIT) as the balloons fall and pyro goes off. Owens agrees that he does deserve this before ripping into the fans for making it all about themselves with the YOU DESERVE IT chants. He’s known that since the day he set foot in this ring and doesn’t need the fans to tell him that all over again. Last week he beat three superstars to win this title and yeah he got a little nudge from HHH.

Owens had already done 98% of the work though so tonight it’s officially the Kevin Owens Show. This brings out a ticked off Rollins to say this isn’t about Owens. Instead he goes off on Stephanie for letting him down last week. Owens says this isn’t about Seth but Rollins keeps going on his rampage and says everyone is in Stephanie’s pocket. Kevin has been HHH’s chosen one since the day he debuted in NXT but Seth is here to burn the whole thing to the ground.

Owens thinks Rollins has only been making plans for failures so Seth punches him in the face. Stephanie suspends Seth indefinitely but Foley immediately overturns it, drawing him one of the loudest pops he’s gotten in years. Instead of suspending him, Foley gives Seth (Foley to Seth: “I’ve never really liked you.”) the title match at Clash of the Champions.

This was good stuff for the most part, assuming you can ignore HHH helping Rollins last week not being brought up. Rollins seemingly turning face (or at least starting it off) is a really good thing and WAY overdue but it certainly seems to be a slower burn than a full on version. Either way, Clash just got a lot better looking on paper.

After a break, Stephanie and Foley are yelling at each other (Stephanie’s third appearance in twenty three minutes) when Owens comes up. Foley gives him a match against Sami Zayn, which draws in Jericho. Chris gets in a hilarious line by calling Owens the longest reigning Universal Champion in history. That earns him a match against Rollins later.

Charlotte vs. Bayley

Non-title and Charlotte has given Dana a clipboard to take notes. Bayley starts in on the arm and throws some Japanese armdrags, only to have Charlotte send her face first into the buckle. That just fires Bayley up and she sends Charlotte into the buckles a few times instead. Charlotte heads outside and Bayley tries a dropkick under the ropes (think Sami’s diving DDT) but leaves it way short, leaving her to just kick Charlotte in the chest instead. Bayley is favoring her knee as we go to a break.

Back with Charlotte holding the figure four neck lock and actually getting two off a rollup. Charlotte slams the bad leg into the corner and then wraps it around the leg. That sets up a half crab and DDT on the knee but Bayley grabs a rollup to break the momentum. Some limping ax handles to the chest have Charlotte in trouble but Dana pulls Charlotte out of the way of an elbow. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Bayley kicks Charlotte into Dana and hits the Bayley to Belly for the pin at 12:40.

Rating: C+. The important thing here is the time. This match worked because it had some time to set up the leg injury and the ending made sense (save for ANOTHER lack of a disqualification) due to the extra focus it received. You can’t do anything important in a four minute match and it helped so much to actually let this thing go somewhere for a change. Good stuff and the PPV rematch is obvious.

Connor’s Cure video for children’s cancer awareness month.

Charlotte yells at Dana, who promises to make up for it. That earns her one heck of a slap in the face.

Bo Dallas vs. Kyle Roberts

Bo is all serious here despite holding up a BELIEVE IN BO sign (please don’t let this be ANOTHER political themed character) He takes Roberts down and hammers away before snapping off some knees to the face. A Roll of the Dice (as Cole described it) puts Roberts away in 38 seconds.

Owens and Jericho fire each other up.

Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins starts fast with a dropkick and sends Jericho outside for a suicide dive. Oh yeah he’s wrestling like a face. Back in and Jericho slaps him a few times as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Jericho sends him face first into the buckle and we take a break. Back with Rollins hammering away and getting two off the Sling Blade. A Blockbuster gets the same and Rollins might as well have a big sign saying YEP I’M A FACE NOW around his neck.

Rollins dropkicks him out of the air but gets caught in the Walls. That goes as far as you would expect and Rollins’ low superkick gets two. Rollins gets caught on top but still shoves Jericho off, only to miss the frog splash. The Lionsault gets a close two as this is really picking up. The Codebreaker is broken up and a Pedigree puts Jericho away at 13:47.

Rating: B. Anyone who has watched Rollins for years now has known he would be an awesome face and that’s certainly what you got here. Rollins looked great out there and he’s just so easy to cheer with this offense. I don’t think he gets the title back at Clash but it’s going to be fun watching him in this new role.

Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #3 in the series with Cesaro down 2-0 and coming in with a bad shoulder/back. Cesaro grabs some rollups for early near falls but a backdrop has him in trouble. Sheamus sends the back into the apron and drives in some knees. The Cloverleaf is blocked but Sheamus grabs four straight Irish Curses for a near fall. With that not working, Sheamus lifts him up for the Celtic Cross but drops it down into a backbreaker. The Brogue Kick makes it 3-0 to Sheamus at 4:06.

Rating: C. Well that happened and I really don’t care. Thank goodness the fourth match is at a house show on Wednesday so I don’t have to put up with seeing them again that many times. The back injury is fine but my goodness I’ve seen enough of these matches for my lifetime. It really feels like a way to give the writers a month off and that gets old in a hurry.

Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Before the match, Enzo thinks he’s in labor so Cass, who has watched a lot of ER, performs Lamaze with HOW YOU DOING replacing the “hoo hoo” part. Enzo and Cass take over to start and it’s off to a quick break. Back with Enzo in trouble but avoiding a Primo charge and making the hot tag off to Cass. The Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is broken up and Epico rolls Enzo up with a handful of trunks at 7:05. Too much was in the break to rate but I’d again like to point out that NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SHINING STARS.

Sami Zayn says his career has been stuck in place since he beat Owens, who is now the Universal Champion. Owens comes in and laughs at the idea that Sami is chasing him now. The race will never be over and Sami says he’ll win the title on his own, without HHH handing it to him on a silver platter.

Nia Jax vs. Ann Esposito

Apparently Ann is friends Alicia Fox. Nia throws her around to start but gets caught in a sleeper to actually put her in trouble. That earns Ann a ram into the corner and a throw to the mat, followed by three straight Umaga attacks in the corner. A fireman’s carry into a powerslam (with a pause before the powerslam) ends Ann at 1:38.

It’s time for Anderson and Gallows to not be funny. Now they’re retirement specialists who have already gotten rid of the Dudley Boyz, so now let’s welcome the OLD DAY. Cue some New Day impersonators (one on a motorized scooter, one on a walker and one on a cane) to a slow motion version of their theme. The crowd is just silent for this as the Old Day says everything changed for them at Clash of Champions. We get every old person joke you can imagine, including Big E.’s hips going out as he does the swivel.

Cue the real New Day to ask which X-Man is their favorite. For some reason it’s Cyclops…..which isn’t all that funny. Kofi thinks there’s a paradox taking place here and if the New Day comes into contact with the Old Day, the WWE Universe will explode. Anderson and Gallows bail and dancing ensues, only to have Old Day’s sneak attack completely fail. The old guys are beaten down to finally wrap this up. This went on WAY too long and it just wasn’t very funny.

We look back at the opening sequence.

Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal

Titus O’Neil is on commentary for reasons of pure torture. Darren gets an early two off a swinging neckbreaker but has to fight out of a chinlock. Titus goes out to ringside as Darren hits the Gut Check for the pin at 2:15.

Darren and Titus fight again after the match.

Alicia Fox checks on her injured friend when Nia Jax, who just happened to be there, shows up and laughs. Total Divas is mentioned and Fox yells a lot while throwing things. Nia just leaves as she goes nuts.

Braun Strowman vs. Sin Cara

Well it’s better than jobber after jobber. Cara is fighting due to Braun ripping off the luchador’s mask last week. A dropkick sends Braun into the corner but he explodes out with a shoulder. We hit the neck crank and nerve hold for a bit before Braun sends him outside. Cara is tossed into the steps but comes back with a dropkick, only to be whipped into the barricade for the countout at 2:11. Are we really going to have to watch this again next week? Really?

Strowman beats Cara up even worse post match.

Here’s Sasha Banks for an announcement. She talks about how every story has an ending before talking about the Divas Revolution. Back in July 2015, Stephanie McMahon (oh yeah) introduced the Divas Revolution and it was a new era without bra and panties matches (which there hadn’t been in YEARS) and no more butterfly title (not for about nine months actually).

This revolution was about every little girl and every person who has been told they’re not enough. She used to collect soda cans to try to save up enough money to come to a WWE event. Sasha starts crying as she talks about being injured at Summerslam and she has an update on her condition. Cue Dana Brooke to say she’s going to use Sasha’s broken body to finish what Charlotte started at Summerslam. Dana goes after Sasha but gets caught in a Bank Statement. The bad news was for Charlotte, who will be facing Sasha at Clash of Champions.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. They start slugging it out at the bell and it’s quickly outside with Sami going shoulder first into the barricade. Sami does his moonsault off the barricade (and kicks Owens square in the face) as we take a break. Back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock and sending Owens to the floor for back to back flip dives.

The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but Owens rolls to the apron before the Helluva Kick. A Stunner over the ropes has Sami in trouble but the half and half suplex gets two on the champ. Sami climbs the ropes but lands on a bad ankle. Owens can’t hit the apron powerbomb so Sami grabs another half and half to drop Kevin on his head. Back in and the ankle gives out again, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin on Sami at 13:05.

Rating: B-. This was their usual good match but you knew Owens wasn’t going to lose his first match as the champion. Sami will probably get his title match at some point in the future and that’s going to be one heck of a rollercoaster when they finally get there. Good stuff here though but this show is way past saving.

Post match here’s Roman Reigns to a LOUD chorus of booing. Chris Jericho comes out to have Owens’ back but Foley prevents the violence. Next week it’s Roman vs. Owens and if Reigns wins, it’s a triple threat at Clash of the Champions. They had that same booking idea recently on Smackdown and it’s still overdone here. Reigns spears Jericho to let off some steam and end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show hit a wall in the middle and it just never recovered. That being said, it’s not like they had that much good going on in the first place. I liked the opening sequence and there was some good wrestling in the middle but pretty much everything from Cesaro vs. Sheamus until the main event was just death. Then again this is a holiday show and no one is going to watch it but it gets really tiring watching a badly bloated show with so little effort from the creative side of things.

Results

Bayley b. Charlotte – Bayley to Belly

Bo Dallas b. Kyle Roberts – Roll of the Dice

Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Shining Stars b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Nia Jax b. Ann Esposito – Powerslam

Darren Young b. Jinder Mahal – Gut Check

Braun Strowman b. Sin Cara via countout

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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New Column: The Kevin Owens and Triple H and Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns Show

A column about the last five minutes of Raw.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-kevin-owens-and-triple-h-and-seth-rollins-and-roman-reigns-show/




Monday Night Raw – August 29, 2016: It’s His Show And We’re Just Watching It

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 29, 2016
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big night this week as we’re guaranteed a new Raw World Champion in a fatal fourway with Kevin Owens, Big Cass, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins facing off for the title. It’s hart to say what we’re going to get at Clash of the Champions in about a month so hopefully we can start setting some stuff up tonight. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Mr. Fuji.

We recap Balor’s shoulder injury and the setup for tonight’s title match.

All four World Title participants for the title are in the ring with Corey Graves moderating. Rollins cuts him off and says they’re all here because of him so he’ll cede his time to someone else. Owens talks about how he’s a prize fighter and tonight he’s fighting for a prize. That leaves Reigns, who Owens just allows to be booed.

Cass is tall….and that’s about it. Cass: “Did Jericho write that for you?” Cass says he’s the biggest dog in this fight, causing Owens to point to Reigns. Seth is glad that this is an elimination match so he can beat up all of them in one night. A brawl breaks out with Reigns and Cass having a staredown before the ring is cleared. I’m glad they kept this short since no one said anything important and it was just hype for the main event.

Neville vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match, Jericho says Owens will win tonight but promises everyone the Gift of Jericho. This is their first match since Neville broke his ankle back in the spring. A catapult puts Jericho on the floor early but he hides behind the ref to get in a cheap shot and send us to a break. Back with Jericho putting on a chinlock but diving into a kick to the ribs.

Neville moonsaults out to the floor and avoids a charge into the corner, setting up a small package for two. A superkick drops Jericho and I’m very surprised at how hot the crowd is despite such a big main event. The Red Arrow misses and the Liontamer make Neville tap at 10:50.

Rating: C+. I continue to be very glad that Neville can do more things than just the Red Arrow as those one spot guys can get lost in the shuffle quickly. Neville being a main eventer was a long shot at best but he’s fine in the midcard where he could pull off an upset and most people wouldn’t be that shocked.

Earlier today Bayley met the New Day and dancing ensues until Dana Brooke comes up, setting up a six person tag along with Gallows and Anderson. The key here: it didn’t feel scripted. Instead it seems like the producer said “Bayley runs into the New Day and you’ve got two minutes. Go.” That works so much better than scripting out the jokes and gives you entertaining things like this.

Nia Jax vs. Haion

Jax runs her over and finishes with an AA into a powerslam at 1:15.

Anderson and Gallows now run a retirement home and suggest that New Day will be joining Team 3D. Nurse Dana Brooke comes in and puts on a rubber glove.

Video on Seth Rollins.

Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal

Sami has a bad ankle coming in and he tweaks it early on, allowing Mahal to smack him in the back of the head for two. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and Sami comes back with the Helluva Kick for the pin at 3:06.

Rating: C. I’m still waiting for an explanation of why they brought Mahal back. He’s fine enough for a warm body but of all people, Jinder Mahal? Anyway I’m assuming this is the start of something for Sami as the announcers kept talking about how he wanted the title. If Owens wins it tonight, there’s no logical reason to not do Sami vs. Owens at Clash of the Champions.

Earlier tonight Sasha Banks was on the pre-show, saying that Charlotte was trying to injure her and end her career. Sasha will be back for revenge and the title.

New Day/Bayley vs. Dana Brooke/Anderson and Gallows

Charlotte is on commentary and doesn’t think much of Bayley putting on a unicorn horn and eating BootyO’s. The women start with Bayley getting some quick two counts before working on the arm. It’s quickly off to Big E. for a belly to belly (gimmick infringer) on Anderson as the champs take over. That lasts all of a few seconds before the villains beat him down in the corner. The hot (or at least moderately warm) tag brings in Kofi for the Unicorn Stampede, including a running dropkick from Bayley. Some dancing sends us to a break.

Back with the camera on the commentators as the match is going on behind them. I smell Kevin Dunn’s fingers all over this. We actually look at the match to see Kofi in trouble and getting elbowed in the face. Kofi gets in a double stomp and makes the tag to Big E. for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Kofi does an insane dive over the top, nearly breaking his arm in the process. Back in and Dana gets two off a rollup, only to have the Bayley to Belly wrap it up at 12:28.

Rating: C+. The crowd was digging the heck out of this and I can’t blame them a bit. This was the perfect match for Bayley as New Day is over by definition and she fits in perfectly with them. Bayley gets another win to help set up her title match at Clash of the Champions and Anderson and Gallows save face. Good stuff all around and a fun match.

Cesaro says no one likes Sheamus so he’ll spin him around and around and around.

Video on Big Cass.

Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #2 in a best of seven series with Sheamus up 1-0. Before the match, Sheamus says he’ll prove that he’s just the better man. Cesaro takes him down to the mat to start and gets two off a double stomp. Sheamus’ arm is banged up and the announcers want the match stopped to check it. Thankfully it’s a dropkick to send Sheamus outside and we take a break.

Back with the Irish Curse getting two but Cesaro comes right back by hitting the springboard corkscrew uppercut. The high cross body connects (check your Bingo card) and Cesaro sends it outside. That goes well for Sheamus who backdrops him back first into the post, setting up the Cloverleaf for the submission at 11:15.

Rating: C+. Points for putting a story into the series with Cesaro’s back injury though I’m still having issues getting interested in even more of these matches. WWE has a real problem of just having the same match over and over and then wondering why it stops being interesting in the process. Make it best of three or just do a 2/3 falls match or something but having it go twice that long doesn’t seem like the best move.

Tribute video to Mr. Fuji and it’s as good as you would expect from WWE.

Video on Kevin Owens.

Braun Strowman vs. Americo

Standard masked luchador. It’s the squash you would expect with Strowman throwing him around and tossing him into the air for a faceplant and the pin at 58 seconds.

Strowman unmasks him post match.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to address Shane McMahon getting F5’d at Summerslam, but first she has to say we’re about to crown the “first” Universal Champion. Paul Heyman cuts her off but Stephanie is right there to cut his balls off by demanding an apology. Heyman talks about how Lesnar provides value to Raw and is here to pay Lesnar’s $500 fine. He pulls out a pile of $1 bills but Stephanie throws them onto the floor. Stephanie wants to know what value Heyman offers to Raw and warns him of a coming storm.

Heyman goes into a rant about the board of directors and how Stephanie can control everyone but Lesnar. For some reason this turns into a discussion on female empowerment with Stephanie saying Heyman is staring at the women’s revolution. Heyman apologizes to her and she accepts before dropping the mic and leaving. With Stephanie gone, Heyman chuckles and smirks.

Video on Balor’s injury and surgery.

Video on Roman Reigns.

Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

The aggressive Young knocks Titus to the floor where he asks for a timeout. Back in and a hard whip sends Darren over the corner where he lands on a camera to break it into pieces. Some neck cranks don’t go anywhere so Young crucifixes him for the pin at 4:04.

Rating: D-. Can ANYONE explain why this feud is still going or why I’m supposed to care about them fighting over and over again? Neither guy is interesting and it seems like a character that exists for the sake of the Presidential elections and nothing more. Total filler here and it’s getting more and more annoying every match.

Backlund and Young celebrate so Titus beats them both up.

Mick Foley apologizes for not being out there for Stephanie but she didn’t need him. He suggests that everyone is barred from ringside tonight and again Stephanie says it’s the first Universal Title match. Rollins comes in and Stephanie wishes him luck.

Raw World Title: Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in and this is under elimination rules. Mick and Stephanie are at ringside as they should be. Cass says he’s shocking the world tonight. The bell rings after a break (THANK YOU!) and Owens immediately heads outside. The Cass vs. Reigns showdown is delayed again as the villains go after the big men and it’s time to pair off.

Seth and Kevin are knocked outside and we get the big showdown with Cass blocking the Superman Punch. A running big boot knocks Reigns outside with Cass falling out as well. Rollins dives onto Cass but Owens drops him onto the barricade, only to have Reigns dive onto Owens and Cass as we take a break. Back with Owens in control and getting two off the backsplash to Cass.

Reigns fights back with his string of clotheslines until Cass kicks his head off. They’ve done a really good job of making Cass look like he belongs here in the first ten minutes. A big boot puts Owens on the floor and the Empire Elbow hits Rollins. The East River Crossing is broken up by a Superman Punch and the low superkick gets two. Owens adds the Frog Splash to get rid of Cass at 13:46. I’m sure Saxton saying he thinks Cass can pull it off a minute earlier didn’t give that away for anyone. Also, I believe that’s the first time Cass has been pinned on the main roster.

Back from a second break with Reigns powerbombing Owens and Rollins for a Tower of Doom. Rollins’ falcon arrow gets two on Roman but the Superman Punch knocks Rollins out of the air for two more. Cole describes this as incredible action for the second time in about a minute.

Owens comes back in with a superkick to Rollins, setting up back to back Cannonballs for another big reaction. The crowd has somehow stayed hot all night and that’s a really good sign. The Superman Punch gets two on Owens and you can hear the crowd’s sigh of relief on the kickout. Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with another Superman Punch and Reigns hits a quick sitout powerbomb for two on Seth.

A spear drops Rollins on the floor but here’s HHH of all people to Pedigree Reigns on the floor. HHH throws Rollins back inside for the pin on Reigns at 23:48 (POP!), meaning Rollins needs HHH’s help yet again. HHH throws Owens inside, Pedigrees Rollins and gives a shocked Owens the title at 25:05.

Rating: B+. This is a hard one to grade as they nailed the near falls and the drama to near perfection but I really don’t care for HHH being back AGAIN and presumably setting up HHH vs. Rollins and/or Reigns. That’s the standard problem with HHH: even if someone new is getting a big title win, it’s still about HHH for a long time. However, let’s get to the good part: KEVIN OWENS IS WORLD CHAMPION! Yeah that hasn’t quite sunk in yet but it’s actually happened and that is most certainly a good thing.

HHH leaves and Owens celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Make no mistake about it: the main event is the ONLY thing on this show that mattered in the slightest. The only other thing of note was the really awkward Stephanie vs. Heyman promo and I’m still not sure what happened there. They did a really good job with the title match though (HHH involvement aside) and that’s all that matters on this show. A lot of this stuff is going to depend on the fallout but I’m very happy with Owens winning as he’s definitely the most logical option. Good show with a red hot crowd throughout helping it along.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Neville – Liontamer

Nia Jax b. Haion – Fireman’s carry into a powerslam

Sami Zayn b. Jinder Mahal – Helluva Kick

New Day/Bayley b. Dana Brooke/Anderson and Gallows – Bayley to Belly to Brooke

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Cloverleaf

Braun Strowman b. Americano – Faceplant

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Crucifix

Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns and Big Cass – Pedigree to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – August 22, 2016: Turn It Up

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 22, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the night after Summerslam and there’s a lot to talk about, but first and foremost we have no Universal Champion. Finn Balor won the inaugural title last night but was forced to vacate it due to a shoulder injury suffered during the match. Odds are tonight we’ll find out what happens with the title so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night’s Universal Title match. Nothing else is mentioned.

Opening sequence.

The announcers tell us about Finn’s injury and the title being vacated. He’ll be out at least SIX months.

The bosses bring out Finn with his arm in a sling. Balor says this title represents a lifetime of sacrifice, including one last night. He has to vacate the title tonight but when he comes back, this title is the first thing he’s coming for. Balor gets a hero’s sendoff but Seth Rollins cuts him off with a huge grin on his face. Rollins calls himself the real winner last night but here’s Sami Zayn to cut him off.

Nothing is said as Chris Jericho comes out as well. He’s followed by Owens, Enzo and Cass (before this segment started I said I’d take a flier and put the belt on Cass) and Reigns. Foley says there’s going to be a series of matches to determine the champion next week. You can imagine how well that’s going over.

Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn

Before the bell, Sami looks over at Owens and gets jumped from behind to send us to a break. The match is joined in progress with Sami snapping off a headscissors to put Rollins outside, only to have him start stomping at Zayn in the corner. Back up and Sami springboards off the bottom rope and twists his ankle. Sami says he can keep going and low bridges to the floor, setting up a slingshot flip dive over the top. Seth comes back with the top rope knee to the head and we take a break.

Back with Sami hitting his big clothesline and a sunset bomb out of the corner. The Pedigree doesn’t work as Sami hits the exploder suplex. The Helluva Kick doesn’t work though and Seth stomps on the foot before grabbing a leg lock for….actually not a submission. Sami gets to the ropes but can’t grab a suplex, setting up the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 11:53.

Rating: C+. I’m fairly sure that was a fake ankle injury and it’s a testament to what Sami can do with his selling that I’m really not positive. Rollins advancing is fine but it would be nice if Sami could have a story that isn’t Kevin Owens related. The selling worked really well and I love Rollins trying a leg lock instead of just instantly using his regular move. It shows thinking during the match, which is something Rollins should always be doing.

Kevin Owens vs. Neville

So there are going to be some named added. Neville sends him outside to start and hits a 450 off the apron. Another big running flip dive takes Owens down but here’s Chris Jericho for a distraction so Kevin can (not) hit a clothesline to turn Neville inside out. Back with Neville avoiding a frog splash and hitting a middle rope phoenix splash, followed by the deadlift German suplex for two. The Red Arrow misses but Neville enziguris him right back into position. Jericho distracts the referee though and Owens hits the torture rack neckbreaker for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: C+. Oh how I love secondary finishers. It gets so tiring waiting on the one move that can finish a match so switching it up like this is a really nice change of pace. Owens winning here was obvious and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match was fine for the time they had and Neville flying around is always fun.

The title match next week will be a fatal fourway. Is this surprising in the slightest?

Here’s New Day to celebrate holding the Tag Team Titles for 365 days. They thank the fans for the year and it’s time for a unicorn pinata. As I continue to try to understand the concept of a pinata, here are Anderson and Gallows to call this stupid. They point out that New Day lost last night so there needs to be a rematch. Anderson asks Kofi about taking the Magic Killer last night. Kofi: “BIG E! DEFEND ME!” Big E.: “Uh, I got nothing.” It’s Anderson vs. Big E. tonight and that means trombone time.

Karl Anderson vs. Big E.

Joined in progress again with Big E. putting on the abdominal stretch and some rhythmic spanking. Anderson sends him into the corner and starts kicking at the leg, including a running kick to the back of the knee. Big E. powers him up again and throws Anderson over the top. The spear through the ropes is broken up by a knee as the rest of New Day beats on Gallows. Back in and the Big Ending puts Anderson away at 3:34.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure how the champion winning is better than having the challengers get some wins to build momentum but the New Day merchandise is all that matters. New Day holding the titles for a year is amazing but I’m not sure how much longer they can go before it stops being entertaining. Then again I was saying that six months ago.

The Dudley Boyz are saying goodbye tonight so we see a clip of their debut in 1999.

Here’s Titus O’Neil for a chat. Ok ok we’ll stop booing your belt. Titus talks about how New Day beat the Prime Time Players for the belts and rips on Darren Young for holding him out of the main event. People have been blaming Bob Backlund but Titus wants to blame Darren for not being in the main event. No one comes out so the fans ask for Slater again. Cue Bob Backlund at a run to put Titus in a cross face pectoral grab before Titus slams him. Darren runs out (Was he watching the Little League World Series?) and takes the Clash of the Titus while Backlund looks dead.

Video on Lesnar vs. Orton.

Earlier today, Shane said Brock crossed a line. Stephanie says she agrees. End of segment.

We look at Balor vacating the title.

Rusev vs. Big Cass

Non-title, Rusev has bruised ribs and the winner advances to next week. Before the match, Enzo tries to figure out which part of New York City Bulgaria is in. An early clothesline puts Rusev on the floor and we take a break. Back with Cass fighting out of a chinlock before Rusev takes out the leg. Rusev misses the splash though, allowing Cass to hit one of his own in the corner. That sends Rusev outside for a superkick to Enzo, sending Cass into a rage of right hands to the ribs. The bad ribs go into the steps and they trade kicks to the face with Cass getting the better. Rusev falls to the floor and walks out for the countout at 8:23.

Rating: C. Not much to the match here but I’m really pleased with the way they did the booking here. Rusev doesn’t get pinned and they still send Cass on to next week’s title match. Everything works out just fine here and we get a nice hope spot for the title. Oh and they didn’t have Reigns interfere for the obvious ending. Well done again.

Owens and Jericho argue over who can be the next Universal Champion. They do however manage to get Tom’s name wrong over and over.

Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke to gloat about Charlotte getting the Women’s Title back. Dana does a one woman YOU DESERVE IT chant and Charlotte has to agree. Charlotte says you can forget about Sasha Banks because she did it all by herself last night. Sasha is out with a back injury and now the queen has reclaimed her throne. That’s it but here’s Mick Foley to interrupt.

The boss (Foley, not Sasha), praises Charlotte last night but we have to stop for a WE WANT BAYLEY chant. Mick says Sasha will be back and will get a rematch for the title. That’s fine with Charlotte but there’s no one left for her to face tonight. Foley says not so fast because there are parts of this match that are heartbreaking. There are great moments too though, like signing free agents……like BAYLEY!

We get the big introduction and the HUGGER SECTION signs are out in full force. Bayley can’t believe this is happening but she’s cut off by a YOU DESERVE IT chant. She thanks Mick for the moment and has an idea: how about we seal the deal with a hug, right here in Brooklyn, New York? You know Mick isn’t going to turn that down.

Charlotte laughs this off and plugs Mick’s reality show before saying there’s a reason Bayley stayed in NXT during the Divas Revolution. Bayley says she won’t try to upstage Charlotte but she will challenge her for the Women’s Title. That’s not cool with Charlotte, who says Bayley has to earn it. Unfortunately Charlotte isn’t ready so Dana can face Bayley instead. Mick agrees and the match is on.

Bayley vs. Dana Brooke

Bayley starts fast by sending Dana into the buckle for a near fall but Dana knocks her outside and into the barricade. Back in and Dana works on the leg before just slugging away. Bayley comes back with her variety of elbows and the Bayley to Belly for the pin at 4:32.

Rating: C. The match was unimportant here compared to the pop for her debut which worked as well as they could have imagined. Bayley has long since deserved this spot and while it’s a shame that an injury might have caused her to get to the main roster, she’s a welcome fit here and much better suited to Raw than Smackdown.

Roman Reigns isn’t worried about Kevin Owens.

The cruiserweights arrive September 19.

Sheamus is ready for his next match with Cesaro next week and insults New York sports teams.

Bruan Strowman vs. Johnny Knockout

Knockout says he’s doing this because, and I quote, he likes big sweaty men. Strowman throws him around to start and the reverse chokeslam cut off the LET’S GO JOBBER chants with the pin at 1:19.

Strowman beats him up again and makes the referee count another pin. Ever the professional, the referee waits until Knockout’s shoulder is down.

Here are the Dudley Boyz for their retirement speech. Bubba says they returned a year ago in this ring and it’s been a heck of a year. They’ve had some wins and some losses but now things are changing. D-Von says it’s been a great career with twenty years going up and down the roads with this man here. They had some great matches with teams like Edge and Christian and the Hardys and D-Von would take every one of those shots and falls again tonight.

Bubba has the fans give themselves a round of applause and it’s time to go but here are the Shining Stars to interrupt. They have a going away present for Bubba and D-Von: two tickets (economy class) to Puerto Rico! That alone earns them a beating and we get one last 3D and WAZZUP……before Bubba tells him to get the table. Cue Anderson and Gallows to beat down the Dudleys. D-Von goes through the table via a Magic Killer. I’m actually surprised as I would have bet on that Ray turn.

Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho

Final qualifying match. Jericho gets into a chase to start but stops to poke Reigns in the eye as we take a break. Back with Jericho putting the ASK HIM chinlock. Reigns fights back and sends him into the buckle but the Superman Punch is blocked. It’s too early for the Walls so Jericho settles for two off the enziguri instead.

Jericho takes too much time on the top though and gets punched out of the air, setting up the apron boot. Now the Superman Punch connects for two and Jericho’s Codebreaker is easily countered into a sitout powerbomb. Kevin Owens runs out for a distraction to break up the spear but it just earns Jericho another Superman Punch.

The spear is countered into the Walls but Reigns makes the rope. Owens adds a superkick to set up the Codebreaker for two with Saxton telegraphing the near fall by saying Jericho was the fourth man. Can we PLEASE stop doing that? Back up and they trade slaps until Owens has to be punched off the apron. Now the spear connects to send Reigns to the title match at 15:03.

Rating: C+. Again this was fine but you would think Rusev might make an appearance here. Reigns getting in was the only option as you can’t have Cass as the only face in the title match. That being said, Jericho is always a great choice to make anyone look good and that’s what he did here. Fine enough main event here but nothing memorable.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place. I had fun with Bayley debuting and their reaction to the title situation was fine, but there’s basically no reaction to Brock last night and Rusev not interfering in the main event doesn’t make sense. The wrestling wasn’t anything special either, leaving this show square in the middle. Hopefully we get something on Lesnar soon though, because people aren’t going to be pleased with just leaving the main event of Summerslam hanging while we wait for Lesnar to grace us with his presence again.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Sami Zayn – Pedigree

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Torture rack neckbreaker

Big E. b. Karl Anderson – Big Ending

Big Cass b. Rusev via countout

Bayley b. Dana Brooke – Bayley to Belly

Braun Strowman b. Johnny Knockout – Reverse chokeslam

Roman Reigns b. Chris Jericho – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finn Balor Relinquishes Universal Title

http://411mania.com/wrestling/finn-balor-relinquishes-the-wwe-universal-title/

 

WOW.  I mean WOW.  Balor separated/dislocated his shoulder taking the buckle bomb against the barricade last night and word on the street is he might be out three months.  On top of that though: how important is it that he won last night?  If Balor lost last night, the Demon looks like a joke and he’s sent scurrying away after his first pay per view match.  Now he fought through an injury and can come back as the uncrowned champion.

Odds are we get champion Rollins again, but dang this is bad.

Edit: According to Cole on Raw, he’s going to be out SIX MONTHS.  That means no Rumble and barely getting back for Wrestlemania.




Summerslam 2016: They Didn’t

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second biggest night of the year but there’s a real case to be made that this show is much bigger than Wrestlemania. There are five potential main events with the likely headliner of Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton. Based on the matches alone there’s almost no way this isn’t great so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango vs. American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos

Rematch from Smackdown. Gable takes Breeze to the mat to start and works on the arm before it’s off to Jey. English comes in and gets his arm cranked by Rawley. Ryder comes in with a middle rope dropkick and everything breaks down with Alpha taking down Ascension with a top rope clothesline. Everyone is on the floor as we take a break. Back with Gotch cranking on Ryder’s arm before Viktor comes in with a chinlock.

Breeze gets his turn at a chinlock and Viktor keeps Zack in trouble. A neckbreaker puts Konnor down though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Jordan starts throwing suplexes as only he cans. We get the parade of people hitting each other in the face until Rawley powerbombs Breeze and Viktor. The Usos superkick Ascension off the apron and hit double dives to take out most of the heels. Gotch takes the Grand Amplitude but Jey tags himself in for the Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. This was a much longer version of what we got on Smackdown but at least they’re actually setting up the first major feud. Now that being said, I don’t buy the idea of Alpha winning the titles outright as it seems smarter to have them get really close but let another team steal the belts. That allows Alpha to chase them for a bit and build up the rest of the division in the process. Or they could just give us Alpha vs. the Usos and then wonder why everything after that is a letdown.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

The Dudleys have been having some issues as of late. Neville and D-Von start as Cole confirms that Orton vs. Lesnar is the main event. The good guys take turns on D-Von’s arm until Neville uses Sami’s back as a launchpad for a corkscrew moonsault. Bubba gets in a shot from behind to take over as the fans want tables. D-Von cranks on Neville’s neck and we take a break.

Back with Bubba hitting a neckbreaker out of the corner and telling D-Von to work on that neck. It’s back to Bubba, who shouts at the “English boy” to fight back. The middle rope splash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Sami gets caught in the reverse 3D. Bubba clotheslines D-Von again, setting up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C. Remember the last few weeks where Bubba and D-Von can’t win basic matches? Well this was an extended version of that. Sami and Neville are fine for a tag team, though you would think Sami would have been much better suited getting a singles run off that big win over Owens. But nah, we need Cesaro vs. Sheamus in at least six matches instead of giving Sami some kind of a push.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #1 in a best of seven series to establish dominance, whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. Cesaro has a tear away tuxedo tonight. Cole: “Cesaro set to take on Cesaro tonight.” Apparently these two have been going back and forth. Now normally that would imply that they had both won a match but winning matches is so blasé anymore.

The Brogue Kick and Cesaro Swing are both broken up but Sheamus sends him into the post to take over. Sheamus puts on an armbar and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam takes us to a break. Back with Cesaro in a chinlock and a look at what we saw before the break, a full minute ago. The Regal Roll means we should respect the hawk but Cesaro counters a suplex to send both guys falling out to the floor.

Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the uppercuts to set up the lifting superplex for two. That’s not enough for the Neutralizer though as Sheamus grabs White Noise to escape. A middle rope Regal Roll gets two more for Sheamus but the Brogue Kick is blocked, followed by a very hard clothesline from Cesaro.

For some reason Cesaro stands on the post and jumps down onto the top rope for the high cross body. Not much of a change but it looked cool enough. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus is right next to the rope. Sheamus is tired of getting beaten on though and thumbs him in the eye to set up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: yes this was a hard hitting, entertaining match but these two aren’t exactly the kind of wrestlers who vary their offense too much. How many different things are they going to be able to do to keep this presumably long series fresh? At least the first match was good and they went with the only option as you can’t have Sheamus lose three times in a row.

The opening video focuses on New York City because Heaven forbid we don’t tell New Yorkers how amazing their city is every chance we get. A good highlight package for most of the matches plays over the narration.

There’s an especially big Titantron to give the show a unique look.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Enzo and Cass suck up to the fans (makes sense) and sing a song I’m not familiar with. That leads to a talk about Frank Sinatra and Cass singing a little New York, New York. Now it’s time to talk about Big E. Smalls because they’re another problem for Jeri-KO. The Canadians jump Cass to start and double team Enzo for some good strategy. The fans chant STUPID IDIOT until Enzo punches Jericho in the face and tags in Cass.

House is quickly cleaned with the big man beating up the villains and sending them outside, only to have Enzo get launched over the top (with his foot almost getting caught on the top rope). Back in and Jericho kicks Enzo in the face to take over, allowing Owens to talk trash as only he can. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock, followed by the running the ropes chinlock from Owens.

Jericho cuts off a hot tag attempt and there’s the springboard dropkick to take Cass off the apron. Owens adds the frog splash for a near fall as you can hear the fans being very much into this. The Cannonball misses and that’s enough for the hot tag to Cass. The Bada Boom Shakalacka is broken up (and that’s a shame), allowing Owens to Cannonball Cass against the barricade. Back in and Owens launches Enzo into a Codebreaker for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C+. Fun opener but the ending is a bit of a headscratcher, assuming this ends the feud. That ending was certainly dominance establishing if anything ever has been but that doesn’t mean enough to end a feud anymore. Notice that they’re still protecting Cass, which is a really good idea. I don’t think he’s actually been pinned yet in WWE and that could mean something special for his future.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan run into Mick Foley for the standard “my show is better”. They run into Jon Stewart, who freaks out about Foley working with Stephanie…..who is right behind Stewart. Stephanie teases abusing her power when New Day cuts them off. Foley steals some cereal as New Day asks if they can borrow Stewart. Stephanie says she’s misunderstood.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte for the Women’s Title, which Banks won from Charlotte just under a month ago. The big deal is that Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, despite Banks winning after Dana was ejected in the first match.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and gets right in Charlotte’s face before we can even get the Big Match Intros. Cole again gets the dominance concept in as Charlotte uses her “physical dominance” to put Sasha in the corner. The champ comes right back with an early Bank Statement attempt to send Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte puts her on the top rope for a choke with her boot before trying a backbreaker onto the top, only to have Sasha crash onto the ropes for two instead.

Charlotte stays on the back with a Gory Special and an STO backbreaker for another near fall. A hurricanrana gets Sasha out of trouble for a bit but Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. In the move that has to be countered to avoid death, Charlotte’s super Razor’s Edge is countered with another hurricanrana to put both of them down. They slug it out with Sasha slapping away to take over before putting on a Boston crab in the corner.

The double knees to the back get two before Sasha knocks her to the floor for the double knees to the chest. She’s lucky that didn’t crush Charlotte’s head. The Bank Statement doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte escape again. Now Natural Selection connects for a string of two counts before Sasha grabs another Bank Statement. Charlotte is in trouble until she grabs the leg and rolls Sasha up for the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. Remember when Sasha won the title and it was a big deal and felt like a change of pace? Yeah forget all that because we’re likely heading for a gimmick match at Clash of the Champions as the title is hot potatoed again. This is another good example of the booking being suited for whatever they have coming up instead of what makes sense, especially when you could do the same thing to set up a third match later on. Not a fan of the booking but the match was the usual good stuff from these two.

Anderson and Gallows are making doctor jokes when AJ Styles comes in for some too sweeting. Finn Balor comes in, looks at them, and leaves as the fans lose their minds.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging after winning a triple threat. These two have had almost no contact to build this up and it’s a pretty forgotten match coming in. Speaking of forgotten, Maryse’s outfit (basically a one piece swimsuit) is likely going to cause a lot of people to forget that there’s a match going on. Crews gets two off a rollup but gets caught in a DDT. Miz gets dropkicked out of the air and Crews slams him hard for two. An overhead belly to belly sets up the standing moonsault (from Crews if that’s not clear) and a rollup gets two. Crews misses a charge into the corner though and the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:40.

Rating: C. Just a Smackdown match here with the Intercontinental Title still not doing much at Summerslam. Crews losing here is fine as it’s not like he’s done anything worthy of being champion yet. That being said, it would be nice if the fans were given something to cheer for on this very long night.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. AJ beat him (with the help of the Club) at Money in the Bank and they’ve actually held off on the rematch since. The idea is an old standard as AJ thinks it’s his time but Cena wants to stand up for what he believes in and isn’t ready to go yet. The promos have more than carried it though and that’s what really matters, especially when the match itself will be great.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This is earlier than I was expecting. The dueling chants being and you can tell Cena is fired up. Feeling out process to start until AJ hits the dropdown dropkick but spends too much time posing, allowing a big right hand to the face. The fans come up with various ways to say John Cena sucks as AJ suplexes him on the apron to take over.

AJ’s strike rush has Cena in trouble but he comes back again with the running shoulders. Styles gets right up and hits the Pele to set up the first Styles Clash for the first kicking out of a finisher. Since this is a Cena pay per view match, an AA hits immediately after for two more. I knew that was coming before they were even off the mat.

A torture rack powerbomb gets two more for AJ before something like a Big Ending of all things gets the same for Cena. The AA backbreaker drops Cena for two more but AJ misses a springboard 450. Cena can’t follow up though and AJ gets two off a belly to back into a facebuster. There’s the STF but Styles reverses into a not great Crossface. Cena powers out but gets pulled down into the Calf Crusher.

That’s reversed into the STF which is escaped for an enziguri from AJ. They’re just trading big moves here. The tornado DDT and top rope Fameasser get two each for Cena so AJ uses his turn for a super hurricanrana. The Phenomenal Forearm gets two more so Cena uses that big clothesline that he uses for a comeback. Cena grabs the super AA for two in a very rare failure for that move. John looks at him in awe and charges into another Styles Clash, followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for the completely clean pin at 23:17.

Rating: A. That’s going to set the bar very high for the match of the weekend. AJ winning clean here is a HUGE deal for him and makes him the pretty much undisputed #1 contender for the Smackdown World Title. It’s really nice to see the trend of “Cena loses, Cena wins, Cena wins again” broken and the fact that it was in such a great match helped a lot. Oh and very good move to have AJ kick out of the super AA and then win. It would have been such a waste otherwise. This was great stuff and the ending made it even better so I’m much happier than I was coming in.

Cena actually gets cheered post match. He takes off the Never Give Up armband and leaves it in the ring before walking away. I doubt it goes anywhere but that could mean something.

Some fans won a contest.

Here’s Jon Stewart to say that was a great match because no one interfered and hit one of them with a chair. Yes he did that last year and he learned that you never take an AA without tucking your shirt in. He’s been asked by New Day to join with them for one night and puts on a unicorn horn. Stewart starts Big E.’s intro but the crowd does the rest for him.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending and Big E. is out hurt. Anderson and Gallows come out in their doctor coats and even have a small jar for Stewart. Kofi starts with Anderson and flips out of a monkey flip as you would expect him to do. The Unicorn Stampede has Gallows in trouble and Kofi dives over the top, poses in the air, and takes him out again.

Anderson offers a quick distraction so Kofi can get beaten down for a bit, only to have Woods get the tag a few moments later. A big elbow from the top (as in the middle of the rope, not the corner) gets two on Anderson as everything breaks down. There’s the Magic Killer but Stewart comes in to yell. Anderson and Gallows go to beat him up, allow Stewart to tuck in his shirt, and go to crotch him against the post. Cue Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to keep the titles on New Day for a year as they’ll likely drop them to Anderson and Gallows at Clash of the Champions. The match was nothing special of course as again this felt like a Raw match to fill in time on a pay per view instead of something that actually mattered. Not bad or anything but just there.

Big E. drinks the fluid in his his ball jar.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose. Dean is carrying Smackdown as the champion but Ziggler won a six pack challenge to earn a title shot here. Ziggler has been getting much more serious lately and superkicked Dean in mid sentence on Smackdown earlier this week.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dean is defending and Shane and Bryan are at ringside to hold them apart before the bell. They slap each other in the face to start until Ziggler takes him down with a nice amateur move. Dean goes outside and sends Ziggler into the steps, followed by a butterfly superplex for two. Ambrose grabs a half crab as JBL goes into a rant about Dean robbing a homeless mannequin.

Back up and Dean gets two off a Glam Slam of all things before tuning up the band, which is now mocking Ziggler instead of Shawn. Instead of a superkick (what a concept), Dean tries Dirty Deeds but gets shoved to the floor. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT and hits back to back Fameassers for two. They hit crossbodies at the same time before Dean takes over with the top rope elbow.

Dean swivels his hips a bit (so he’s ripped off Shawn Michaels, Dolph Ziggler, Dude Love and Rick Rude so far) before they fall out to the floor. Ziggler hits a quick superkick before the Zig Zag gets two back inside. The sleeper doesn’t get Ziggler very far as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two more. Ziggler takes him up for a super faceplant but gets shoved down and caught in Dirty Deeds for the clean pin (and silence from the crowd) at 15:22.

Rating: B-. That was a good midcard title match disguised as a World Title match for reasons that I don’t even want to try to comprehend. Ziggler losing clean like that was rather stupid but you had to expect something close to it. People just don’t buy him as a big deal and it’s really hard to after all these losses. It’s probably the best move though because either of these guys is just keeping the title warm for Styles.

We look at WWE taking over New York.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/???

Eva Marie gets her full entrance but apparently she’s suffering from exhaustion and anxiety brought on by mean WWE fans. Therefore, we have a replacement.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella

Becky and Natalya start things off before it’s off to Naomi for a springboard sunset flip for two. The splits legdrop gets two more and it’s off to Carmella to send Natalya into a raised boot. Natalya takes over and it’s back to Nikki to a shockingly strong pop. A spinebuster gets two on Carmella before Bliss comes in for her moonsault knees to the ribs for two. Carmella finally crawls over and makes the tag off to Becky as things speed up but the crowd stays quiet.

Becky fires off the kicks in the corner and the Bexploder drops Natalya. A hard enziguri hits Natalya again and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. The split legged moonsault misses though and we get Carmella vs. Nikki as everything breaks down. Nikki hits her big forearm and a TKO puts Carmella away at 11:04. Ranallo: “Nikki Bella victorious in her return to WWE!”

Rating: C. Well there’s your first Smackdown Women’s Champion and to be fair, it’s not the worst idea. The only real options they had for realistic potential champions were Becky (fine) and Natalya (save me) as Naomi isn’t interesting and the other three aren’t ready for the title scene. Nikki is a good addition, but egads I was liking not having to hear about how inspirational they are and how much we should admire them.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the US Title, which involved Lana going into a wedding cake.

Maria Menunos of all people interviews Rusev and Lana, who say the title isn’t going anywhere.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural Universal Title. Rollins gets the spot due to being the #1 draft pick and Balor won a mini tournament by pinning Roman Reigns to get his place. Seth seems to be laughing off Balor as a challenger so Balor brought out the Demon to make it clear how serious this was.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in. We see the belt for the first time and it’s the same as the Smackdown World Title but with a red strap and a UNIVERSAL CHAMPION plate on the bottom. Balor does the full on Demon entrance (complete with something like a Papa Shango paint design) and the fans are VERY pleased. This has to be won via pin or submission so it’s essentially a street fight.

Balor hits a quick dropkick and loads up the Coup de Grace but Rollins gets to the floor. Finn follows him out and starts going after the leg before diving off the barricade. Back in and Balor works on the leg, only to be taken outside for a powerbomb into the barricade. Rollins chokes away in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock. Things stay slow as Seth works on the back (too common of a target tonight) before ripping at Finn’s face.

The good looking frog splash gets two on Balor but he reverses a clothesline (looked like a Rainmaker, which is still just a clothesline) into a DDT. A knee to the face sends Rollins outside and a Sling Blade knocks him silly inside. 1916 gets two for Finn but the Coup de Grace misses and Seth grabs a triangle choke of all things. Finn gets his foot on the ropes but that’s not a break because there’s no DQ. Uh….that’s not really the same as rope breaks not counting but I get the idea.

Back in and the Buckle Bomb sets up the low superkick for two. A small package driver (fisherman’s driver into a fast small package) gets two more but Balor kicks him down, only to miss the Coup de Grace. The Pedigree only gets two and the fans aren’t even responding to the near falls anymore. Seth rolls through a Phoenix Splash (geez) but runs to the top for a superplex into a Pedigree attempt, only to have Balor dropkick him into the corner. The Coup de Grace makes Balor champion at 19:16.

Rating: B+. This was the only option as they had to pull the trigger on Balor (or someone) after the ratings have been such a disaster. Balor might not be a great champion but they’ve made him feel like a big deal and that’s what they need on this show. Rollins can take the title back whenever if necessary but at least the match was great and Rollins put him over clean.

Cole says Balor is the first person to win a World Title in his first match on a pay per view. No Cole, he’s not.

Pre-show panel recap because screw people having to go to work tomorrow.

It’s 10:26pm and we’ve got two matches left, so here’s a video of Dolph Ziggler dressed up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz in a chicken suit. No this isn’t some fever dream from watching too much wrestling lately. This is really happening and you’re supposed to be entertained by it.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Reigns is challenging to stand up for America. Rusev jumps him before the bell and sends Reigns into the steps a few times. The bad arm is crushed by some steps but Reigns Superman Punches him off the barricade. Referees come out to pull them apart and the guys fight over a chair. Reigns cracks him over the back with a chair and is finally made to leave. No match due to Rusev not being able to compete.

Rusev is being helped off and Reigns runs back out for the spear. Ok Reigns is the heel now. Let’s see: he showed up to the wedding celebration uninvited, ruined Lana’s dress and then attacked an injured man. Rusev on the other hand was standing up for his wife and defending her honor. Why does that make him a heel here?

Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, the same one from the last few weeks on TV. They were put together to give Lesnar a big match and they’ve traded finishers since.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

They circle each other to start until Lesnar takes him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. A way too early RKO attempt is countered and we get three German suplexes in the first two minutes. Lesnar hits three more before sending Orton outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. A throw off the barricade sends Orton through the table as this has been one sided so far. JBL talks about the OVW class these two came out of and says Brock has beaten everyone out of that class save for Orton. Again, no JBL, he hasn’t (never beat Batista on TV, beat Orton in a nothing match).

Lesnar goes to the other table but gets caught in a quick RKO. The DDT off the barricade knocks him even sillier but Orton spends too much time loading up the Punt and gets caught in an F5 for two. Lesnar takes the gloves off and hammers away with punches and elbows. Brock finally gets up and Orton is GUSHING blood. The doctor comes in but Lesnar shoves him away and keeps pounding away as the fans chant for Goldberg. They actually call the match at 12:42 and we’re done.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to grade this one. If this ended due to a legit injury and they couldn’t stop the blood then that’s perfectly fine and I completely get it. If this was the planned ending, my goodness what are they thinking? After a show this long, you don’t give us a thirteen minute main event with Lesnar winning AGAIN, especially in such dominant fashion. It’s just stupid booking and serves no one but people who think Lesnar is interesting for reasons I’ll never understand.

Post match Lesnar stays at it until Shane McMahon comes out…..and takes an F5 to end the show. They can’t possibly be setting this up for Wrestlemania, right? Like, there’s no way they’re that stupid. SOMEONE TELL ME THEY’RE REALLY NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID!

Overall Rating: B. So as you might not know, I write up a lot of the overall rating before the show ends for the sake of time and occasionally adjust it accordingly. In this case, the show dropped all the way from an A- to a B on that ending angle alone. We’ve spent HOW LONG watching Brock tear through people and be the most dominant thing ever to set up a match against SHANE FREAKING MCMAHON of all people? And for what? To continue this Raw vs. Smackdown feud?

I was thrilled when Shane came back because he was full of energy and all that jazz, but then he gets to have a thirty minute match with Undertaker at Wrestlemania where he kicked out of multiple finishers and now he might get TO FIGHT BROCK LESNAR??? Are you serious? At what point does Shane become more annoying than Stephanie with all this catering to him because he’s a McMahon? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think we passed it months ago.

Now, on to the stuff before WWE lost its mind.

I’d like to point out that they had three matches on a two hour pre-show, nine matches on a four hour pay per view, cut a match out and STILL ran over. At what point do you look at a show and realize that you need to trim things down a bit? Apparently not here but at least it’s better than what they did at Wrestlemania.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like a Wrestlemania card than this year’s Wrestlemania did. There was a great match, a return, new champions and less questionable booking (It should be noted that during the show, news broke that Sasha was injured which completely explains the loss. Oh and save for LESNAR VS. SHANE AGAIN) than the biggest show of the year. If this was trimmed down by about half an hour to an hour, it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just very good and that’s a great sign for them going forward.

Results

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Codebreaker to Amore

Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Rollup

Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale

AJ Styles b. John Cena – Phenomenal Forearm

Anderson and Gallows b. New Day via DQ when Big E. interfered

Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds

Nikki Bella/Alexa Bliss/Natalya b. Carmella/Becky Lynch/Naomi – TKO to Carmella

Finn Balor b. Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace

Brock Lesnar b. Randy Orton via TKO when Orton was busted open

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2015 (2016 Redo): The Forgettable Phase

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,702
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This show was only a year ago and I barely remember anything about it save for the two main events. It really is amazing that these shows have just stopped standing out aside from Wrestlemania. Unfortunately we’re at the point where Summerslam is now a regular four hour show because three hours of pay per view plus five hours of TV a week and a two hour NXT show the night before this just isn’t enough. Let’s get to it.

Thankfully there was no pre-show match so we can get straight to the regular show. When you have three hours and forty four minutes on pay per view, you really don’t need an eight minute warmup match.

Here’s host Jon Stewart to open things up. Stewart hypes up the crowd and says it’s nice to be back in reality after spending sixteen years talking about politics. The WWE superstars respects their audience and they’re all ready to thrill this crowd. Jon lists off some names appearing on the show and of course Reigns and Cena are loudly booed. He’s not over the Streak being broken yet and is here to talk to Brock face to face about defeating the Undertaker.

Stewart isn’t crazy though and has brought some backup in the form of Mick Foley. Mick comes out and reminds Stewart that he only has one ear and thought Jon said he wanted to talk to ROCK. Stewart: “Are you telling me that the great Mick Foley is afraid of Brock Lesnar?” Foley: “Jon that’s exactly what I’m telling you!”

Stewart brings up the Cell match against Undertaker and calls it inspirational. Foley agrees that it was inspirational but also reminds Jon that IT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. Mick has never been to Suplex City and he’s not starting tonight so he’s out of here. Stewart says on with the show to end this moderately funny bit. Above all else though, Stewart is clearly a huge fan and that helps so much in something like this. It felt like he’s here because it’s something he’s always wanted to do instead of just something he’s doing to promote a movie or whatever.

Opening video focuses on New York City (of course) and then goes into the main events.

I forgot how annoying that “We Cool For The Summer” song can be.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This is fallout from Sheamus attacking Orton when Orton had the WWE World Title won, leading to a failed Money in the Bank cash-in attempt by the pale one. Cole: “Speaking of Money in the Bank, Randy Orton has had a great career right here at Summerslam.” Eventually he gets around to tying that together by saying Orton cashed in his briefcase two years ago but that’s not the best statement to start out with.

The fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid and he has to bail from a very early RKO attempt. Actually Sheamus grabs the mic and gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton is willing to fight on the floor but Sheamus takes him down with a clothesline. Sheamus actually hits a top rope knee drop for a rare sight. The slow beating continues with Sheamus stopping to adjust the mohawk.

A chinlock doesn’t last long so Sheamus takes him right back down and puts on another chinlock. Randy finally comes back with a clothesline and the backbreaker, followed by a suplex over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus gets two off a powerslam to set up a modified Cloverleaf. That’s escaped as well (because other than Chris Jericho, heels can’t win with submissions) and Orton hits the elevated DDT.

Sheamus gets the ten forearms to the chest but slingshots right into the RKO. Orton has to throw him back inside though and that means it’s time for the Punt. Yeah don’t even bother at this point as I don’t think anyone buys it as a real threat. Instead White Noise gets two, followed by back to back Brogue Kicks for the pin on Orton at 12:24.

Rating: C+. This was a longer version of a Raw match with a surprisingly clean ending. You kind of expect Sheamus to lose here but Orton losing instead was a nice change of pace. The problem is these two really don’t have a ton of chemistry and they were just kind of trading moves until the finish.

Some fans won a contest from Draftkings.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players

One fall to a finish. For reasons I don’t want to know, the Prime Time Players are defending. New Day, still heels, offer to explain hip hop to the Brooklyn fans. We immediately get the New Age Outlaws strategy with Big E. trying to pin Kofi but only getting two. Instead it’s Kofi headlocking Cara down before Sin monkey flips his partner onto Kofi for two.

That means it’s time for Big E. who takes a Tajiri handspring into an enziguri. Young comes in to face Cara and things get WAY faster with neither guy being able to get anywhere before it’s a stalemate. Darren reaches over to get Kofi and gets a splash on the back from Big E. Los Matadores steal the advantage and hit a slingshot hilo for two on Darren. The yet to be named Unicorn Stampede gives New Day control again as Woods lists off their favorite breakfast foods. You can see the cereal schtick coming from here.

Kofi chinlocks Young for a bit before Big E. grabs a dancing abdominal stretch. Big E. hits a clothesline and Woods loses his mind shouting about tricep meat. Woods: “YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE BECAUSE BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNERED ON TRICEP MEAT!!!” Darren finally knocks Kofi away and makes the hot tag off to Titus for the house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and the masked men start with all their dives. El Torito’s double springboard dive is caught in midair by Woods (Torito really is small) so Young belly to back suplexes Xavier on the apron, only to have Big E. hit his spear through the ropes. He’s going to kill himself with that one day. Back in and Titus powerbombs the Dragons in the Tower of Doom, followed by the Clash of the Titus to Fernando. That brings Kofi back in to kick Titus in the face though and Big E. steals the pin on Fernando to get the titles back at 11:20.

Rating: B-. This started slowly with the normal problem of too many bodies at once but as usual it went away once they started tagging. The problem continues to be how weak the division is though as you have three middling teams and then the awesome New Day who was just begging to turn face at this point. It was clearly their time and there was no other option than to put the titles back on them here. Somehow they still hold the belts heading into the following Summerslam which just doesn’t happen these days.

New Day goes INSANE celebrating with Big E.’s hips defying gravity and Kofi bouncing around the match on his back.

Jon Stewart brags to Neville and Stephen Amell (celebrity here for a match) about being friends with Undertaker. The lights go out and Undertaker (or someone who looks a lot like him) walks past. The bragging quickly ends.

We recap Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler. Rusev threw Lana out so she hooked up with Ziggler while Rusev hooked up with Summer Rae. This led to several blonde catfights but tonight it’s the guys fighting alone.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler goes right after him to start but misses a charge to go face first into the buckle. The Russian/Bulgarian (whatever he is this week) stomps away and we hit an early bearhug. The fans cheer for Lana as Ziggler is planted with a spinout Rock Bottom. Rusev’s gorilla press (in case you thought Dolph was doing it) is countered into a DDT and it’s time for the running clotheslines required for all face comebacks.

For some reason Rusev goes up top with Ziggler faceplanting him down for two more. A sunset flip gives Dolph two and he grabs the sleeper but Rusev uses the powers of THIS ISN’T 1982 to escape. Dolph joins the twentieth century with a Fameasser for a near fall but walks into the jumping superkick to the arm. The Accolade goes on but Lana slaps Summer to distract Rusev into breaking the hold. The guys join them on the floor as Lana gets the loudest chant of the night. Rusev gets superkicked onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 11:49.

Rating: C. This was an extended Raw match with a non-finish. Lana definitely came off as the biggest star here, which is why they dropped her face push because of a wrist injury and TMZ reporting that she and Rusev were engaged. Naturally WWE had ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE but to acknowledge this on Raw and punish her as a result. I’m in the small group that likes this story though some of that is due to Lana in her outfits.

Another catfight ensues.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Neville and Stardust had been doing a comic book inspired feud between a hero and a villain. One night Stardust shoved Amell (the star of the Green Arrow TV show) and a tag match was made with Barrett joining in due to having nothing else to do.

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett

Stephen comes out in his Arrow hood but wrestles in regular black shorts. Barrett gets hit in the face to start so Stardust comes in to face Neville instead. Stardust wants Amell though and Stephen gets a pretty good pop as he flips over the top to come in. A shove sends Stephen down so he nips up and knocks Stardust up against the ropes for a surprise. It’s off to Barrett who easily takes over on Amell. As odd as it is to see the celebrity getting beaten up, Neville has to be the one coming in to clean house when we get to the hot tag.

Amell finally gets in an enziguri and dives over for the tag to Neville. The rapid fire kicks set up the middle rope Phoenix Splash on Barrett but Stardust makes the save. The villains are sent to the floor and Stephen dives off the top onto both of them for the big spot of the match. Back in and the Red Arrow finishes Barrett at 7:34.

Rating: C+. Of course that’s on a sliding scale as Amell has no idea what he’s doing here and was just doing whatever he could. It’s not exactly a huge star out there but it fit the story well enough. Unfortunately Barrett takes the fall here, despite Stardust being the main bad guy in the whole thing.

Look at WWE taking over Brooklyn.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. The Miz vs. Big Show

Ryback is defending and the other two have both taken shots at the title. Miz takes sanctuary on the floor but comes back in to try a double suplex on Big Show. Yeah I think you know what’s coming there, especially when you notice that Show would have broken his back on the turnbuckle if they had suplexed him from there.

They really need to find a way to stop telegraphing that kind of thing. Show actually hits a middle rope swanton (well forward roll) onto Ryback before chopping Miz in the corner. Ryback takes out Show’s knee and plants Miz with a powerslam for two. That’s enough being on defense for Show as he chokeslams Ryback onto Miz but the KO Punch is countered with a spinebuster. It was a bit sloppy but what can you expect when it’s to someone Big Show’s size?

The Shell Shock plants Show but Miz runs in with the Skull Crushing Finale for two on the champ. Miz covers both of them twice each but it only serves to tick Ryback out. Shell Shock is broken up with the KO and Miz makes ANOTHER save. Another KO drops Miz but Ryback clotheslines Show to the floor and steals the pin on Miz to retain at 5:34. Cole: “CLASSIC TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!” Oh shut up.

Rating: C+. This was just a Raw match but they kept things moving well enough that I was entertained throughout. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before but I liked Ryback copying Miz’s strategy to keep the title. Ryback was getting somewhere with the title and could have been something special if they hadn’t dropped him yet again. It’s no wonder he left less than a year later.

Jon Stewart goes to see Brock but gets cut off by Heyman. Stewart says wrestling fans were disappointed in the Streak ending and no one remembers the person who broke perfection. Heyman is probably happy to see the fans all crushed and destroyed like that because he likes giving coal to kids on Christmas morning. Paul sings about the glory of Lesnar in response. I’m with Heyman here. The Streak was amazing and will never be duplicated but it’s ridiculous to say it can never be broken no matter what because fans would be sad. Sometimes evil wins and there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Harper and Wyatt here. Bray targeted Reigns earlier in the summer and Roman was tired of getting beaten up so he got some help. It’s almost weird to see Reigns coming through the crowd instead of the entrance. Cole flat out says the feud isn’t ending tonight because it’s going to go on and on. Ambrose bulldogs Harper to start so Bray comes in, only to get punched in the mouth.

A suicide dive takes Bray down again and it’s already a wild brawl. Reigns dives over Ambrose to clothesline Harper in a cool spot before Ambrose runs all three tables to take out Bray as well. Things settle down with the Shield guys taking turns on Harper. Dean’s top rope elbow gets two but a Bray distraction lets Harper get a shot in. Roman goes after him but Harper suicide dives onto Roman, only to have Dean take them both out with another dive.

Harper kicks Dean in the face and Bray drops the backsplash to really take over for the first time. Bray gets creative with a suplex through the ropes to the floor. Back to Harper for something like a Crossface as Reigns is STILL down on the floor a good three and a half minutes after that beatdown. The referee stops to look at something in the corner as a ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant starts up.

Dean finally hits the rebound lariat as Reigns gets back on the apron for the hot tag. Him being down on the floor that long really didn’t mean anything but it’s not something that looks good, especially given some of the stuff Reigns has been laughed at before. A superkick and Batista Bomb plant Reigns but Bray spends too much time going up and gets Superman Punched. Dean plays Hawk in a Doomsday Device and the DoubleBomb plants Harper. Dirty Deeds and a spear put Bray down at 10:56.

Rating: B. That should wake the crowd up a bit. Other than Reigns’ latest nap, this was a good old fashioned fight with both teams looking awesome throughout. That being said, I’m so glad the feud is going to keep going after Reigns just pinned Bray. It should be the blowoff but why blow it off when you can just keep going with even more matches?

We recap John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a title for title match with Cena narrating a video about how tough New Yorkers are. The video is a cool look at all the venues in and around New York City as it’s almost always about Madison Square Garden. A few weeks ago Rollins broke Cena’s nose in a NASTY looking injury so Cena is after revenge and to end Rollins’ joke (Cena’s description) of a title reign. He’s right to be fair as Rollins basically bowed down to HHH as often as he could and was getting squashed by Brock the previous month to make him look like a loser.

WWE World Title/US Title: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena

Winner take all. The JOHN CENA SUCKS song is out in full swing here as the people just do not like Cena. Rollins comes out in white, albeit with lines painted on that makes it look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shell. The fans are all over Cena again and it’s Rollins hitting a dropkick to take over and giving Cena You Can’t See Me. Oh yeah he’s the face in this match and everyone knows it. Cena grabs a belly to belly and we hit the chinlock less than two minutes in.

Rollins comes right back by sending Cena to the floor for back to back suicide dives and a big flip dive over the top. Back in and Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up with a headlock takeover but the second ProtoBomb works a bit better. Rollins is still able to break up the Shuffle but Cena comes back with a HORRIBLE springboard Stunner, basically making it look like he was reaching for Seth’s wrist instead of the neck. I think he retired it after this show and you can’t blame him after how bad that looked. Rollins comes back with double knees to the chest and a standing shooting star for two.

Cena is sat on top and then tied into the Tree of Woe for Alberto Del Rio’s top rope double stomp (which Seth makes look much better) for another near fall. Back up and the first AA connects for two and we’re not even nine minutes into the match. You think they might be trying a bit too hard?

They do the big slugout until Cena catapults him into the corner to set up a faceplant for another near fall. They’re certainly doing some different stuff tonight and it helps a lot. What doesn’t help is the announcers acting like this is the main event of Wrestlemania and that it’s been going on for half an hour instead of ten minutes. That’s not even a Raw main event yet.

Seth is right back in it by breaking up a super AA attempt and hitting a great looking frog splash. Rollins rolls through a crossbody and hits his own AA to an even bigger face pop. Back up and Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash, only to flip out of the AA. The Pedigree doesn’t work either and it’s Cena grabbing a Figure Four because RIC FLAIR.

Rollins reverses but Cena makes the ropes and goes up top with Rollins running the ropes for a superplex into the falcon’s arrow for a near fall. That really should be the finish but of course it’s only good for two. Another Phoenix Splash misses and Cena grabs another AA but the referee gets bumped. With Cena demanding another ref, Rollins hits the jumping knee to the face and here’s Jon Stewart with a chair. Both guys get up and Stewart gives Cena a shot to the ribs, setting up a Pedigree on the chair to give Rollins the US Title at 19:25.

Rating: B+. This was on the way to being a classic but the Stewart ending was a bad choice when Rollins and Stewart had been feuding for months. The explanation was that Jon didn’t want Cena to tie Flair’s record because IT’S RIC FLAIR! I’m fine with Cena not getting the title back as him wanting the US Title back made it seem all the more important. Unfortunately it also made the WWE World Title look horrible because Rollins had to lose to drop that title. But hey, Jon Stewart right?

WWE Network ad.

Pre-show panel chat and they have to talk over a THANK YOU STEWART chant.

We recap the Divas Revolution which means STEPHANIE TIME! For anyone who doesn’t get my obsessive hatred of almost all things Stephanie, this was my breaking point. For weeks, Paige had dealt with the Bellas and their numbers advantage with the idea being she would need help. Say, with the arrival of some friends from NXT?

Well that’s what happened, but only because Stephanie came out and announced they (as in Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch) were here. For some reason Stephanie put them into three women teams and a feud was started “for superiority”. Yeah superiority instead of the story they had spent months building up. But whatever. Story telling isn’t what’s important. It’s all about putting Stephanie, that pioneer of women’s wrestling, in the story so she gets credit for the (very) cool moment.

Team B.A.D. vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

B.A.D. – Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina Snuka

Bella – Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB – Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is under elimination rules, meaning the a single fall eliminates an entire team, making the match far less interesting from the start. Brie and Becky start things off as we hear about the history of Summerslam being in the New York area. Becky is sent into the ropes for a running knee to the face (with Brie shouting TEAM BELLA instead of BRIE MODE, which may or may not be worse) but Tamina tags herself in to superkick Becky in the jaw.

Sasha comes in to a very nice reaction….and she’s back out in less than five seconds. It’s Naomi coming in despite almost no one caring about her whatsoever. The fans want Sasha so she’s back in, gets rolled up for two, and is back out in about thirty seconds. They head outside with Charlotte saving Sasha with a spear to Tamina, only to have Naomi and Sasha hit (well less so in Sasha’s case) flip dives.

The Bellas hit suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls something new. Paige and Alicia fight on the top until Paige knocks her off and dives onto everyone at once. Back in and Brie hits a super facebuster on Tamina for the elimination, taking a lot of the life away from the crowd who wanted to see Sasha. That’s being pretty greedy though as Sasha was in the match for at least 50 seconds.

Nikki hits a quick Rack Attack on Becky for no cover as Paige and Charlotte drag their partner back to the corner. A fall away slam sends Nikki to the floor but she Paige takes too long following her out, meaning it’s an Alabama Slam on the outside. Back in and a double flapjack plants Paige, setting up a Brie chinlock. The YES Kicks are countered into a rollup for two but Fox comes back in to work on a double arm crank.

Now the fans will settle for Charlotte as Paige gets double suplexed for two. A running knee to Fox finally allows the hot tag to Charlotte as the crowd FINALLY wakes up a bit. Everything breaks down with Nikki having to save Alicia from the Figure Eight. A double big boot drops Charlotte and Fox so it’s off to Becky vs. Brie but BRIE MODE misses, setting up a pumphandle suplex to pin Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C. Well that happened. It didn’t revolutionize anything, it didn’t change anything, it didn’t accomplish anything and it annoyed the fans when Sasha was eliminated in about five minutes. But hey, Stephanie got a focus in the pre-match video and Nikki gets a step closer to vanquishing AJ from the pages of the WWE record books. That’s all that matters right?

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

This started over the two of them wanting to face Cena for the US Title. Owens is coming in after a brutal ladder match last night at Takeover: Brooklyn. They slug it out to start with Owens sending him to the floor for a flip dive. Owens spends too much time jawing at Cole though and it’s Cesaro running back inside for a corkscrew plancha of his own. The Uppercut Train takes too long though and Cesaro is sent into the barricade to set up a cannonball.

The backsplash gets two inside and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. A torture rack neckbreaker gives Owens two more and it’s time for a second chinlock. The powers of the OLE chants bring Cesaro back to life though and he knocks Owens into the corner to set up that weird modified Angle Slam for two. Cesaro’s gutwrench superplex gets two but Owens throws him down a few seconds later, only to miss a double springboard moonsault.

A superkick gets Owens out of trouble but the springboard corkscrew uppercut drops him again. The Swing sets up Cesaro’s Sharpshooter with Owens only a few feet from the ropes for the quick break. Both guys go up for something but Cesaro gets crotched and superplexed to set up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 14:17.

Rating: B. You knew this was going to be good with these two on this stage. They kind of had to give Owens the win here after he lost in his NXT farewell last night but it’s still not good to have Cesaro lose here either. That’s the problem with the way they book their midcarders: they’re bounced around so much with wins and losses all over the place that a loss on a big stage really cripples them all over again. At least the match was good.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. Of course Brock broke the Streak at Wrestlemania XXX and Undertaker disappeared for a long time. Then Undertaker returned at Battleground 2015 to cost Lesnar the WWE World Title to set up this match. They actually billed this as being too big for Wrestlemania which was a good line, though I’m not sure how many people actually believed it.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar is actually smart enough to attack at the bell and I can’t believe no one else has ever thought of that before. Undertaker comes back with a boot to the face and Brock is sent outside as it’s time for the brawl to begin. The bell rings and Brock double legs him down, only to have Undertaker hit him in the face to take over. The dueling UNDERTAKER/SUPLEX CITY chants start up and Old School is countered into an F5 but Undertaker slips off the shoulders.

It’s Suplex City time though, or at least it would be until Undertaker sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. A big boot puts Brock on the floor and draws some blood from his forehead. Back in and the chokeslam is countered with another German suplex so Brock cracks a smile. They head outside again and there’s an F5 to send Undertaker through the table.

Somewhere in there Brock got busted open much worse and stands in the ring with another smile on his face. Undertaker slowly crawls back in with Brock telling Undertaker that he’s going to kill him. Undertaker: “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO!” That earns Brock a chokeslam (and a great selling job) and a Tombstone for a close two. Both guys are down until Brock sits up and laughs.

Undertaker does the situp and mocks Lesnar’s laughing so, while still on the mat, they just PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE OVER AND OVER. Brock gets the better of it and takes him into the corner for the Kimura on the second rope. Of course that’s not a DQ or even a count from the referee because that’s not what the story calls for, meaning Undertaker has to Last Ride him out for two.

The second F5 gets two and the second gets the same as I continue to hate how much WWE lets people kick out of finishers. I know it’s a big match but at what point does a finisher become just another move that someone uses? Both guys are spent but Undertaker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate. That’s reversed into the Kimura and the bell rings for the big surprise submission. Not so fast though as the referee waves it off, allowing Undertaker to hit Lesnar low and put on the Hell’s Gate again. Lesnar flips Undertaker off and passes out for the submission/knockout at 17:10.

Rating: B+. That ending (which we’ll come back to in a minute) brings down an otherwise great old school power brawl. Undertaker teasing a heel turn to get the big win is a big stretch as he reached bulletproof legend status well over ten years ago. I get the story they’re going for and it’s not bad, but the low blow wasn’t really necessary here.

The important thing here though was Undertaker hurt Brock. You can have Lesnar be the Beast and maul people but at some point someone has to be able to hurt him or there’s no point in bringing him out. Look at what he did to Ambrose at Wrestlemania XXXII or Rollins at Battleground 2015. It stops being entertaining and starts being the Brock Lesnar Show, which doesn’t do anyone any good but him. This was different though, and that’s a good thing.

We get a replay oh yes Undertaker does tap out. So yeah, it’s a screwy ending for the sake of setting up a rematch, just like in the other main event. That’s not a bright idea at any show, especially the second biggest of the year. Heyman declares Brock the winner via submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a really strong show with nothing bad and a bunch of good matches but the top two are ruined by the horrible booking choices. Above all else though, this show was ruined by the length. This show runs nearly three and three quarter hours with a lot of stuff that could have been cut.

I mean, was anyone needing Rusev and Ziggler to go ten minutes or a sixteen minute Divas three way? It’s a good example of a show that could have been trimmed quite a bit for its own good, which unfortunately is a recurring trend these days. This was a very good show otherwise but it’s not exactly memorable and that hurts it a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: C

Redo: C

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. King Barrett/Stardust

Original: B+

Redo: C+

The Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Wyatt Family

Original: C+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Team Bella vs. Team PCB vs. Team B.A.D.

Original: C-

Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

That original overall rating is probably a bit high as I liked almost everything more the second time around. Being able to watch this in pieces instead of in a straight sitting helps it a lot.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/summerslam-2015-a-long-long-very-long-summer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – 2014: The Squash Of A Lifetime

Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,079
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Time for a redo of a show with a main event billed as the Biggest Fight of the Summer. The more I think of that line, the more I like it. The main event here is Cena (subbing for the injured Bryan) defending against Brock Lesnar, who is having his first match since breaking the Streak. Interestingly enough, I don’t even remember another match from this card. Let’s get to it.

I usually don’t say anything on the pre-show, but my goodness Renee Young is stunning. I know you often hear about the Divas looking great, but she is just beautiful, especially in a nice red dress here.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

No real story here. Rob rolls out of a wristlock to start and we hit the ECW chants. My goodness there’s other stuff to cheer over people. Cesaro is sent to the floor and Rob slips a bit on his dive but still manages to kick Cesaro down and hit Rolling Thunder on the outside. Back in and Cesaro simplifies stuff by just pummeling Van Dam in the corner before throwing him down with the gutwrench suplex.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock as the announcers give us one final hype for Cena vs. Lesnar. Rob fights up for a rolling cradle and the split legged moonsault for two, followed by a superkick to put Cesaro back on the floor. This is Van Dam 101 here, which was the biggest criticism he faced during this time. The Five Star is broken up by a big uppercut but Rob is still able to block a superplex.

That earns him another uppercut though because Cesaro is pesky like that. Van Dam shoves him down again but Cesaro hits the third straight uppercut, only to be shoved down yet again. Rob is finally able to dive…..right into an uppercut of course. This time it’s Cesaro kicking Rob in the face for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and Van Dam hits his quick step over kick, followed by the Five Star for the pin at 8:06.

Rating: C-. The uppercut sequence was nice but like I said, Van Dam was just doing high spots here and nothing else. That was the case for most of his 2014 run and that’s not really doing anything for him at this point. Cesaro was just wandering around at this point, which makes his Wrestlemania battle royal win feel like the biggest waste of a rub in recent history, which is really covering a lot of ground.

In a sign of the times, Hulk Hogan is brought out to open the show. Well to be fair it worked really well at Wrestlemania XXX so this isn’t the worst idea in the world. He thinks it’s appropriate for Hollywood Hogan to open the show here in Los Angeles and talks about how amazing Summerslam really is. This turns into a commercial for the Network, all while Hogan’s video is playing behind him. Hogan hits the catchphrase and he’s out in less than three minutes. This was fine and got the crowd fired up while also plugging something. Well done.

The opening video is in the theme of an old 1980s action movie trailer (Follow the Buzzards Productions) with the usual previews for the main events, but with everyone’s nickname instead of their actual name. I really liked this as a movie geek and it holds up quite well a year later.

It’s a shame that the curse of the standardized sets has hit Summerslam as well. It’s the second biggest show of the year. Mix that stuff up people.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and has the Hollywood star gimmick. I still really like his work in this and still find him to be one of the better done characters. Before the match, Miz talks about being real instead of CGI and brags about how jealous you all should be of the moneymaker. Tonight he’s going to make Ziggler the WWE version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Ice Bucket Challenge, back when that was still a thing.

The threat of a superkick sends Miz bailing to the floor as we hear about the Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel match from Summerslam 1992 where it was agreed that neither would hit the other in the face. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Dolph but he gets whipped chest first into the corner as Miz takes over. With his variety of stomps used up, Miz kicks Dolph hard in the face before slapping on a chinlock.

The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle, but you could say the same thing about Ziggler so it’s not really clear. Dolph punches him out of the air and hits a Stinger Splash before a rollup gets two more. Now the superkick connects with the moneymaker for two so we get the required attempt at bailing, only to have Dolph baseball slide him down.

Somehow that earns Ziggler a Figure Four (because Miz needed a submission hold and it’s always a good thing to pay tribute to Flair, who won SO many major matches with that hold right?) but Dolph is in the ropes. His leg is fine enough for a Fameasser but Miz pops to his feet for the Skull Crushing Finale before he starts to sell. The kickout shocks Miz again but he misses another running boot, allowing Dolph to score with the Zig Zag for the pin and the title at 7:57.

Rating: C-. These two don’t have any kind of special chemistry but they would fight each other for the better part of eternity because WWE doesn’t know how to set up anything fresh more than once every few months. Ziggler winning the title gave the fans a nice moment but there was nothing to the match.

We recap the latest part of the RIVETING Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon feud where Stephanie brought Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist to say she and Bryan had an affair, leading to Brie slapping the therapist and getting arrested, just as she had done to Stephanie a few weeks earlier. The affair stuff was so hated that they dropped it pretty much the next day.

Brie talks about doing a bunch of reflecting while she was in jail where she thought about Stephanie torturing Nikki while Brie was gone, how she insulted Bryan and how she paid the therapist to lie about an affair. She’s going to take out the beast tonight because that’s best for business. Oh dear I think I’m going to have something to say about this.

Divas Title: Paige vs. AJ Lee

Paige is challenging and they’ve been feuding for most of the summer with AJ returning and winning the title, causing Paige to start imitating her for reasons that still aren’t clear. They’re friends and enemies at the same time (yes I know there’s a word that combines the two and no I won’t use it) so Paige offers a handshake, only to have AJ rip some of her hair out. AJ stays all aggressive (Heaven help me if I say the other word about her) and sends Paige onto the announcers’ table, only to have Paige come back with a knee to the ribs.

The champ gets dropped onto the barricade but Paige realizes she can’t win the title via countout. Back in and we get Paige’s sexy crawl over AJ before she pulls her own hair extensions out. Well no one ever accused Paige of being normal. The chinlock on AJ goes nowhere and she’s able to shove Paige off the top, though she’s nice enough to blow her a kiss first.

A top rope clothesline to the floor drops Paige again. The Shining Wizard gets two but Paige kicks her in the face, only to have the Paige Turner countered into the Black Widow. Just like at the Raw after Wrestlemania though, Paige powers out again and scores with the Rampaige for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was similar to the Divas version of Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect back at Summerslam 1993 where they basically guaranteed a classic but just had a good match instead. This was one of the last good feuds before Nikki took over the title in a few months, which we’re somehow still surviving nine months later. Lucky us.

Summerslam 2015 will be in New York/New Jersey. That would be slightly changed to Brooklyn

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Speaking of things still going on later, these two are still having the same match the following summer. This is also a flag match, meaning a regular match with the winner getting their flag raised. Lana (rocking the white suit here) and Zeb Colter (remember him?) are the seconds. Before the match, Lana says that Hollywood is a great example of everything wrong with America. In real life, there is no happy ending and America is full of worthless cowards.

Swagger counters with members of the US Army Color Guard to present the American flag. Rusev jumps Jack before the bell and the American flag falls, which is a big sign of disrespect. Swagger counters into a Patriot Lock as we’re still waiting on the bell. The referee breaks it up so Lana orders Rusev to his feet. Now the bell rings and Jack goes after the leg and ankle again.

Rusev bails to the floor so Swagger, showing some fire for a change, follows him out with a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb hits knees though, which really should hurt the bad leg but why bother with logic? Jack happens to have bad ribs coming in so Rusev has his own target now. With the leg breaking down, Rusev opts for a bearhug, meaning he has to stay on his feet anyway. Jack can’t belly to belly his way to freedom but his second attempt works a bit better.

The Vader Bomb connects but hurts Jack’s ribs all over again. Rusev’s superkick is caught in the Patriot Lock but Rusev is quickly out, only to walk into a powerslam for two. The second superkick connects and the Accolade (on one leg) goes on, only to be countered into the Patriot Lock. Rusev kicks out of that as well, spinwheel kicks Jack down, and Accolades him again for the knockout victory.

Rating: C. This is a tricky one to grade, as yet again, since these guys have fought roughly a dozen times, I never once believed Rusev was in trouble. That being said, they did a good job here of using the ankle injury to try to add some drama. It’s a very difficult thing to do when there is almost zero doubt as to who is winning, but they gave it a good try.

The problem for these two is they’re still fighting on occasion and it never gets any closer for Jack. That’s something WWE is really bad about: they don’t understand that fans don’t want to see the same obvious match over and over again but that’s what we get because there’s no one other than Swagger (or Henry) to take these losses. Bring back unknown jobbers or something, because they have about the same chance of winning and would at least feel fresh for a change.

Rusev attacks Colter post match and the Russian flag comes down.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose, which is Dean’s first attempt for revenge on Seth after Rollins broke up the Shield over the summer. Seth ran a lot previously but tonight it’s time for a lumberjack match so Dean can finally get his hands on him.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Most of the lumberjacks were attacked by Rollins and the Shield at some point in the last year and a half. Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s a slugout as soon as they’re both in the ring with Dean taking over and knocking Rolling outside. That goes as badly as you would expect for Rollins so he goes back inside for something a bit safer: Ambrose ripping at his nose. This time it’s Dean being sent outside for a beating but some guys hold the attackers back.

Now it’s Rollins in control for a bit so Ambrose just punches him in the face. He goes up top for no logical reason (to be fair he’s supposed to be crazy) and gets caught in the Tree of Woe as Seth really takes over. A chinlock doesn’t go very far as Dean is sent to the apron, only to suplex Rollins over the top and out onto the lumberjacks in a big crash. The whole thing turns into a war with Dean backdropping Rollins over the barricade.

Dean dives onto the lumberjacks because he’s nuts and then down the announcers’ tables to get to Rollins in the crowd. This is more like what the match should have been and it’s about time they got to it. They fight into the balcony as Kane comes down to tell the lumberjacks to do their job. Bo Dallas stops Rollins from powerbombing Dean off the balcony so Seth runs towards the entrance but gets caught by Stardust, Big E. and the Usos.

Rollins is literally carried back to the ring but Dean is waiting on them with a huge dive off the top. Back in and Dirty Deeds is countered but Ambrose blasts him with the rebound lariat. NOW the crowd is way into things and Dean curb stomps Seth, only to have Kane come in for the save. The lumberjacks get in another fight because they all have anger management issues. Dean dispatches the Wyatts but walks into a briefcase shot to the face for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is one where your opinions may vary wildly and I’m not going to put up much of an argument either way. There were only so many ways that they mess with the idea to keep the lumberjack gimmick going (which fit the story) while also being insane. Good, insane brawl here and that’s what it needed to be.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt, which started because Bray decided it was time and didn’t like Jericho calling himself a savior. Jericho beat Wyatt clean at Battleground in a stupid decision so tonight the Family is barred from ringside. I have no idea why they thought this would make me interested in seeing it again but it’s better than another gimmick match.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

The fireflies are still so cool looking. Bray goes right after him to start and they’re quickly on the floor with Jericho stepping over Bray’s hat. That’s polite of him. Jericho gets shoved to the floor as the announcers start reading Tweets. I know the match isn’t the most thrilling story in the world but come on. A running knee sends Jericho’s head into the steps and Bray drives him into the post for good measure.

Back inside and we hit the chinlock, because no matter how insane or unconventional someone is, they make sure to throw on a chinlock. Like everyone has ever done, Jericho fights out with ease and gets one off an enziguri. Jericho’s dropkick stops a charging Bray but he walks into the release Rock Bottom for two. Sister Abigail is countered into the Walls but Bray gets a rope (unlike in NXT where he tapped to the Walls years ago).

Bray goes to the middle rope so Jericho can hurricanrana him back down for a delayed two. I’m never a fan of people going up just so someone can hit them with a move. It’s a stretch of the suspension of disbelief. Bray spiders up and says that he can’t die because he is already dead. Jericho breaks his code for two and Bray slides outside where he smacks Jericho in the face, setting up Sister Abigail into the barricade. Back in and another Sister Abigail is enough to give Bray the pin.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t really feeling this one as it’s a match that Bray was supposed to win and then did. He was still trying to recover from the huge blow of losing the feud to Cena and losing the first match to Jericho really didn’t do him any favors. The match was nothing to see either as Jericho was starting to run on fumes again here. This would have been so much more effective if Jericho hadn’t won the first match.

Bray serenades us post match.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon, which was a recap I needed when I watched this show live as the whole thing was such a mess. So Stephanie was all evil to Daniel Bryan, but Bryan is on the shelf with his neck injury so the feud was transferred over to Brie, because Brie and Bryan are totally the same thing.

Stephanie threatened to fire Brie but Brie quit first, leaving Stephanie to torture Nikki by putting her in handicap matches against such devastating forces as Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Cameron and Eva Marie. Yes, this was really supposed to be intimidating. Brie and Stephanie sued each other over slapping each other because that’s what this feud needed. Then Brie offered to drop the charges in exchange for a match with Stephanie at Summerslam, because that’s how wrestling works.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

This is Stephanie’s first match in ten years and the announcers act like it’s Bruno vs. Hogan. We immediately get to the point as Stephanie comes out in something that looks like a superhero outfit with skin tight leather that shows off every inch of her figure. Oh and of course she throws the Four Horsewomen sign to Ronda Rousey and the other three women whose names no one knows (in the front row when Rousey was just starting to make noise as a big time star) because Stephanie is cool like that.

The announcers swoon over Stephanie like it’s Trish in 2000 and then give Brie a polite response. That’s the match right there: Brie looks good while Stephanie looks amazing and it’s entirely by design. Stephanie shoves Brie against the ropes to start and blows her a kiss. Brie gets back up and can barely do a lockup properly. Some shoulders in the corner have Brie in more trouble as the announcers try to act like Brie is some big physical threat while also pointing out that Stephanie has long legs.

The big slap is blocked though and the threat of a YES Lock sends Stephanie outside, likely out of fear due to how bad Brie made the hold look on Raw a few weeks back. Brie’s suicide dive is blocked by a forearm to the face and it’s Stephanie in control again. Stephanie talks trash and busts out a Hennig neck snap, drawing a YOU STILL GOT IT (shut up. Stephanie never had it in the ring in the first place. Think before you chant) and even more praise from the announcers.

Stephanie cranks on both arms as Brie has been on offense for all of fifteen seconds so far. An evil look that would make Edge jealous looks to set up….something, but Brie comes back with a Thesz press and the YES Kicks in the corner. Well close enough to them as she can’t get the timing right because the one spot that is going to get her a cheer is too complicated for her.

The middle rope dropkick gets two on Stephanie and Brie follows up with some of the absolute worst punches I have ever seen. I mean even Lita’s horrible punches (go back and watch her matches. She’s one of the most athletic women in wrestling history but she couldn’t throw a good punch to save her life) look great compared to these. HHH comes out but Nikki is here as well because those two are so equal. The Pedigree is countered into whatever Brie calls her imitation of the YES Lock because that’s not the hold her husband uses.

HHH pulls the referee out anyway, which shocks Cole for some reason. I have no idea why Cole is switching sides so fast because he’s spent the last ten minutes praising Stephanie. Brie baseball slides HHH and does the YES chant, only to have Nikki come in….and turn on Brie because that’s the least logical and worst idea they could go with for this story. Stephanie Pedigrees Brie for the pin.

Rating: D+. Where do I even start with this one? First and foremost: Brie Bella is a horrible wrestler. She’s a beautiful woman, she’s found the right look for herself with the ripped tights and shirt tied around her waist and she can clap on the floor, but she just does not have it in the ring. Some of the stuff in here was Eva Marie level work with those punches and the inability to do a lockup properly just being unforgivable.

On top of that, this is the wrong story. After the months and months of the Authority tormenting the Bellas, they win here in the end with Brie getting squashed until a quick comeback at the end, only to have it all taken away from her again so we can get to the Bella feud that no one other than the Total Divas producers wanted to see. Nikki turning on Brie would lead to the “I wish you died in the womb” nonsense that went on forever and was then just dropped, but I spent a three months ranting about that so I’ll cut myself off for now. Brie should have won here, no matter how bad she looked in the ring.

That gets us to the final point: this match was ALL about Stephanie. Brie was just the person in the ring to bounce off of her as Stephanie got to look great (both mechanically and physically. I know she gets a lot of flack, but Stephanie can rock some tight outfits) out there and even had the crowd cheering for her. That praise was well deserved though as Stephanie was as polished here as any Diva had been since probably Mickie James but, as is always the case, Stephanie has to look great and can’t get any comeuppance. In this case though, she deserves a lot of praise because this was one heck of a performance.

Some fan won a contest and got to make a character called Mama’s Boy, complete with some training. He even got to make an entrance at NXT, to the Hurricane’s old theme song for some reason. Eh cute enough.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This is due to Reigns costing Orton a title shot and Reigns’ first big solo match. I like the blue trim on Reigns’ attire but it can be a bit distracting. Orton goes right at him to start and is quickly headbutted out to the floor. Some right hands and a clothesline put Orton outside again but he sends Reigns into the steps and takes it back inside for a chinlock. This isn’t exactly thrilling stuff so far. We hit the Garvin Stomp followed by a nice top rope superplex for two. I love a good superplex.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Reigns counters into a rear naked choke of all things. See, why doesn’t he do stuff like that more often today? There’s more to life than clotheslines. Orton falls backwards to escape and we’re right back to the chinlock. Orton isn’t exactly giving Reigns much to work with here. The Samoan drop gives Roman a breather and he jacks Randy’s jaw to set up the apron kick. Lawler: “Reigns kicked the Kryptonite out of him!”

Orton whips him into the barricade to take over again though and drops him onto the announcers’ table to keep Roman in trouble. Back in again and Reigns punches his way back into it (shocking I know), followed by a super Samoan drop for two more. The Superman Punch knocks Orton silly but he counters the spear into one heck of a powerslam. That looked great.

The Orton DDT gets two but Reigns gets up for another Superman Punch, only to dive into the RKO for a very near fall. Randy is livid so he loads up the Punt, which is about the dumbest thing you can do against someone who uses the spear for a finisher. Well that’s how it should have ended but instead Reigns just moves away from the Punt and then the spear is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be a huge turning point for Reigns’ career but it came off as just an ok match with some good moments. The first seven to eight minutes really dragged this down as the chinlocks took the crowd out of things. Now to their credit, Orton and Reigns were able to get them back later on but this needed some tweaks to really make it work. It’s Reigns’ biggest win yet but it really wasn’t anything great.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar. The idea is Cena beat Lesnar two and a half years ago when Lesnar returned, but since then Lesnar has reached his full Beast Mode and is the unstoppable monster. Cena is pretty clearly a fill in for the injured Daniel Bryan, who would have made for a better story here. They really aren’t hiding the fact that Lesnar is going to win the title here but you know Cena isn’t going down without a fight.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. They do the big staredown across the ring before the bell and we get one of my favorite Cole lines: “It’s the biggest fight of the summer.” I know that was the tagline going into this match but I love his delivery there. Before we get started, awesome sign in the crowd: “Cena wins, we logically discuss on Twitter.” Cena charges right at him but gets taken down to the mat…..and the F5 connects at thirty seconds. I actually screamed “NO WAY! NO WAY!” when I saw that for the first time.

Lesnar shouts that Cena just had his one chance and I think everyone in the building believes him. Cena looks totally out of it and we’re 90 seconds into this. The first release German suplex sends Cena flying and the fans are just stunned. German #2 has Cena’s mouth hanging open and the replay makes it look even worse. Cena wildly swings but only hits the mat.

A quick drive into the corner and some shots to the ribs just annoy Lesnar as he knees Cena to the mat and slaps on a chinlock so Cena can remember what planet he’s on. More punches from Cena are stopped by a knee as this is even more dominant than I remembered. Four more Germans (six total, counting a snap that I didn’t mention) have Cena a crippled mass in the middle of the ring. Lesnar drives even more knees into the ribs and pulls Cena up so he can throw another German.

The referee FINALLY checks on Cena, who says he’ll have two eggs and sausage. John goes flying off another German but elbows out of the next and gets in some right hands and a clothesline, followed by an AA for two. That seems like Cena’s last gasp though and he can’t follow up. Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up…..and starts laughing. He tells Cena to get out of the corner and bring it on while bouncing back and forth on his feet. Cena charges and gets taken down and pounded in the head.

Cena can’t even move on the mat but tells the referee to let it keep going. Lesnar is ticked off at Cena not quitting so he rolls four straight German suplexes, earning what sounds like applause. He still won’t quit, so there are three more rolling Germans. With Brock standing over him, Cena sweeps the leg and puts on the STF but Brock rolls over and just unloads on him with right hands. The F5 finally ends the slaughter and gives Brock the title.

Rating: A+. This was hard to watch. Not hard in the WCW or TNA hard to watch way, but in the “that’s enough, stop this before Cena dies” hard to watch way. This was a complete squash that ran 16:14. In that span of time, and this is being VERY generous at times, Cena was on offense for 1:22. That’s including the opening where they were grappling on the mat and the time where Cena was trying to break Brock’s grip.

Above all else though, this match did what it was supposed to do, which is make Brock Lesnar look like the biggest monster this side of Godzilla. This wasn’t a technical masterpiece or anything, but the fact that it got this kind of emotion out of me is doing something right. Outstanding performance and Cena selling so well made it even better.

Cena is checked on and can’t move to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Something occurred to me as I was getting ready for this show: I didn’t remember anything about it other than the main event. I can tell you the main event for all of the big four shows and every In Your House off the top of my head, but I had no idea that Orton and Reigns had a match here. Looking back, it’s easy to see why. Other than Lesnar vs. Cena, nothing on here is anything outside of the average range. Almost all of the redo ratings are in the middle of the pack and nothing else is memorable. It’s a watchable show, but totally forgettable, which isn’t something you should say about Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

AJ Lee vs. Paige

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Original: C+

Redo: C

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C-

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Original: C

Redo: B-

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C+

……what? I mean just…..what? That overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense. Other than Brie vs. Stephanie and maybe Orton vs. Reigns, nothing really changed drastically, but it went from great to above average? I REALLY got into that Lesnar vs. Cena match the first time around. That original rating actually made my eyes bug out when I read it to see what I had originally given the show.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/17/summerslam-2014-on-the-a-list/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6