Wrestlefest 1992
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes,
Hosts: Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan

This is another Coliseum Video in a series that ran for a few years. That being said, it isn’t like there is much of a theme to the thing, which was hardly a surprise given how many recurring titles you would see on WWF home video. This is an interesting time for the company as Hulk Hogan is mostly gone and we’re off to people like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels so let’s get to it.

Okerlund and Heenan are playing tennis, with Heenan thinking it’s table tennis. Heenan is off to find the rules so let’s go to our first match.

From New York City, New York, March 23, 1992.

Virgil vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is with Michaels as Mooney says Virgil is “one of the most popular figures the World Wrestling Federation has ever known.” I have to say this a lot about Mooney, but LIAR. Virgil has his nose guard on, which felt like it was around for a good while. We stall for a good bit before the bell until Sherri heads outside and…I don’t think we ever had a bell at all.

Michaels takes him into the corner and punches the nose guard, which goes as well as you would expect. Virgil chases him to the floor as Hayes wants Virgil to have to remove the mask. Back in and Virgil grabs a headlock as commentary explains Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon (who broadcast this on the MSG Network) as being there for an armed forces broadcast. Eh I’ve heard worse excuses. Michaels fights out but gets a bit too cocky, meaning the headlock can go on again.

Back up and Michaels avoids a charge to send Virgil crashing out to the floor so we can have a quick breather. Virgil gets back in so Sherri offers a distraction, allowing Michaels to raise the mask for a shot to the bad nose. The chinlock goes on for a big until Virgil fights up, only to be sent into the buckle. A backslide gives Virgil two but Michaels drops him with a clothesline for the same.

Michaels sends him face first into the buckle, knocking the mask off and leaving Virgil looking like he had been stabbed. The referee even puts the mask back on and Virgil hits a faceplant, setting up an atomic drop to send Michaels into the corner. Virgil makes the comeback with clotheslines and a dropkick before sending Michaels hard into the corner. A running knee misses for Virgil though and Michaels hits the teardrop suplex for the pin at 12:14.

Rating: C. Virgil was trying and he could have been worse, but he is one of the most “he exists” wrestlers I’ve ever seen. There is nothing to him that makes him stand out in any way and that was the problem here. It was the most generic offense and Michaels put him away without much trouble. Just as it should have been.

From Toledo, Ohio, April 7, 1992.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Bushwhackers

Money Inc., with Jimmy Hart, is defending (in case you were very confused). The champs jump them from behind to interrupt the pre-match whacking and the Bushwhackers collide for a double knockdown. Back up and they send Money Inc. together, setting up a double bite. Some clotheslines send Money Inc. outside and it’s time for a breather.

We settle down to DiBiase knocking Butch down and choking away as commentary talks about Money Inc. walking out on their title match at Wrestlemania. Butch manages a bulldog for a needed breather and the champions are rammed together. Back to back Battering Rams send DiBiase and IRS outside and it’s time to whack around the ring even more.

DiBiase comes back in to choke Luke on the ropes and we get some non-tag exchanges. IRS grabs his required abdominal stretch before it’s off to DiBiase for one of his own. It’s back to IRS for the chinlock but DiBiase comes back in and gets kicked in the face. Butch gets the tag to clean house but Hart offers a distraction, allowing IRS to knee Butch down and retain at 8:32.

Rating: C+. This was a fine way for the champions to get in a title defense as they get to beat a fun team in the Bushwhackers. As a bonus, it always helps to have challengers who aren’t going to be hurt by a loss like this. Money Inc. was a good choice for the titles as they worked well together and it was easy to boo them so things were looking decent enough for the titles’ future around this time.

Okerlund tries to explain the art of the serve to Heenan, with Heenan having drinks instead of practicing.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 10, 1992.

Rick Martel vs. British Bulldog

This could be interesting. Martel starts fast by sending him into the corner and then flipping into some jumping jacks. Bulldog grabs a headlock to grind away a bit before working on the arm as well. Martel misses a charge into the buckle and gets armbarred, followed by a more basic style of cranking.

Back up and Martel manages to send him outside for some ax handles to the back to take over. Some knees to the back and some choking oddly wake Bulldog up, only for him to charge into Martel’s raised knee. Bulldog hits some running clotheslines to send Martel outside and it’s a sunset flip to give Bulldog the pin back inside at 5:22.

Rating: C. Well “could be” was right because it certainly wasn’t. Martel was starting to get a bit of something going and then it just wrapped up. Bulldog was getting geared up for something bigger in the coming months (to put it mildly) but this wasn’t much of a first step there. Give them some time and have Bulldog more motivated and this could have worked, but they didn’t have much of a chance.

Bret Hart talks about some of his bigger matches and how he always gives it his all. This includes winning the Intercontinental Title for the first time by defeating Mr. Perfect at Summerslam 1991, retaining over Skinner at This Tuesday In Texas and…apparently that’s all!

From Springfield, Massachusetts, November 12, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is defending but Barbarian steals the title and poses with it while Hart gives his glasses to a fan. We get going with Barbarian driving him into the corner and then hitting a shoulder out to the floor. Back in and Hart avoids an elbow and starts in on Barbarian’s arm. That’s broken up and Barbarian takes him outside for some rams into the post.

Back in and Hart is sent chest first into the buckle, followed by the bearhug that you get in every Barbarian match. With that broken up, Hart gets a boot up in the corner and it’s a running clothesline to drop Barbarian for two. The middle rope elbow and Russian legsweep get two, with the kickout sending Hart outside. Back in and a suplex gives Barbarian two so he tries it again, only to be reversed into a small package to retain Hart’s title at 12:24.

Rating: C+. The more I see from Barbarian, the more I appreciate someone like him. He’s a great example of someone who is going to do his thing and do it in a certain way, but he makes it work every single time. That’s the kind of thing that will always work in wrestling and it worked again here, albeit with an all time master like Hart.

Heenan can’t return serves from Monica Seles’ sister’s best friend’s partner (or something like that). He threatens to choke her.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 10, 1992.

Nasty Boys vs. Natural Disasters

Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys. The Disasters chase them to the floor to start before Typhoon sends Sags into the corner for an early splash. Earthquake comes in to run Knobbs over without much effort and an elbow to the back makes it worse. Sags gets in a cheap shot from the apron though as commentary bickers about which team they like more. Earthquake easily slugs his way out of trouble but Sags is right there to prevent the tag. Earthquake grabs a bearhug on Sags and Typhoon comes in for a double standing splash. With Typhoon cutting Hart off, Earthquake drops an elbow for the pin at 6:31.

Rating: C. The Disasters are a good example of an idea that made sense but only worked so well in practice. The issue is really simple: only a handful of teams can do much with them, which made for some not so great matches. While the Nastys can do a heck of a brawl if given the case, this was more of a standard match and that’s not playing to either team’s strength.

From Kalamazoo, Michigan, April 8, 1992.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. IRS

IRS, with Jimmy Hart, is challenging and stalls on the floor for a good while to start. Once inside Savage grabs a headlock and we immediately stall some more, this time with Savage going after Hart. Back in and Savage hits some running clotheslines to send IRS outside. IRS gets back inside and is atomic dropped to the floor, so Savage goes outside to prevent more boredom.

The top rope ax handle gives Savage two back inside but Hart offers a distraction, allowing IRS to knee Savage in the back. Savage gets thrown outside this time as this is getting rather repetitive. Back in and IRS grabs the abdominal stretch, followed by a chinlock as this isn’t exactly shaking his reputation for being boring (or sweaty).

Savage fights up and grabs him by the tie so Hart comes up with the briefcase. IRS’ charge hits said briefcase and after decking Hart, Savage drops the big elbow for the pin at 11:16. Mooney: “And a clean victory here for the WWF Champion!” After IRS was RAMMED INTO A METAL BRIEFCASE, once again proving that Mooney is a LIAR!”

Rating: C-. Again, IRS is someone who could be put out there to give Savage an easy win, but dang it would be nice if he could do something even slightly interesting. IRS could wrestle a perfectly competent style, but his offense was straight out of the 70s and it showed badly. Also, even though IRS is a champion, Savage couldn’t just get a clean win here?

Mr. Fuji and the Berzerker explain how to throw a party. Berzerker recommends kidnapping to get guests, and a lot of “little gimmicks” like those streamers that you blow to make them roll out, and finger sandwiches, decorated with fingers. This was oddly funny as Berzerker has a weird charisma to him.

From Kalamazoo, Michigan, April 8, 1992.

Tito Santana vs. Repo Man

Santana knocks him into the corner to start but Repo takes him into another corner. Repo’s arm work doesn’t work so Santana pulls him down into an armbar. A crossbody gives Santana two and the armbar goes on again. Repo comes back with a clothesline for two and he pulls Santana into something like a cross armbreaker. That’s broken up and Repo hits another clothesline, only for Santana to hit one of his own. Repo gets knocked off the apron so he grabs the grappling hook. A shot to the ribs is enough to draw the DQ at 7:33.

Rating: C. Yes, we really are going with the guy who repossesses things over the bullf…ok maybe it isn’t as crazy as it sounds. This was not the strongest time when it came to midcard gimmicks and there is a reason it took so long to turn things around. Both guys are talented, but this was a bit too goofy to really work.

Post match Santana gets posted and choked with the hook, leaving him frothing at the mouth.

From Niagara Falls, New York, April 28, 1992.

Nasty Boys/Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters/Legion Of Doom

Dang this tape loves Money Inc. and Jimmy Hart is here with the villains while Paul Ellering is with the good guys. DiBiase and Hawk start things off with DiBiase actually taking over in the corner. Everything breaks down in a hurry though and Hart’s guys need a meeting on the floor. Back in and it’s IRS coming in to face Hawk, who connects with a big boot.

DiBiase offers a distraction though and IRS gets in his trusty knee to the back. Hawk gets pulled into the wrong corner, with Animal’s attempt at a save causing Hawk to get choked even more. Hawk fights up and hits a clothesline to put IRS down, followed by a double version with DiBiase. That’s enough for the tag off to Animal, who fires off a dropkick as everything breaks down. Earthquake sits on Sags for the pin at 7:59.

Rating: C. As usual, there is only so much that can be done in this situation with so many people in there and so little time. The ending was kind of amusing with Earthquake just sitting on him for the win, but that was about it. The Legion Of Doom never got to do much either, which sums up a lot of their problems in the WWF in the first place.

Post match Ellering decks Hart for a funny moment.

Okerlund explains the appeal of being a gracious winner and then Heenan crotches himself trying to jump over the net. Some fans pop up to meet Okerlund, who wraps it up to end the tape.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this didn’t work, with nothing standing out in the slightest. It was a bunch of people just having matches, none of which were remotely memorable. On top of that, I was sick of seeing Money Inc. by the end and that shouldn’t be the case with someone as good as DiBiase. The Heenan/Okerlund stuff was really weak too and that took away one of the best parts of these things. Not their best effort here, with the Bushwhackers and Barbarian having the best match, plus that oddly funny Berzerker segment being the highlights.

 

 

 

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Supertape 4
Host: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Bobby Heenan

It’s time for another in this series and that could mean just about anything, as this series likes to stretch the definition of “super”. You never know what you’re going to get on this thing, though I’d assume on some wrestling from the WWF. Other than that, it could be quite the variety of quality so let’s get to it.

This is presented in the most complete form, which is a weird thing for a home video.

Opening sequence, which is likely just a preview of what we’ll be seeing.

Sean Mooney is tasked with delivering the master tape of Supertape 4 to Coliseum Video and he has a cooler, van, driver and tour guide. The van is labeled with a piece of paper and the driver is Lord Alfred Hayes…who doesn’t let the food or driver inside. Hayes already doesn’t know where they’re going but the cooler is left outside.

Mr. Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, has the Intercontinental Title back and insists he is perfect enough to beat the Texas Tornado.

From West Palm Beach, Florida, December 12, 1990.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, without Heenan, is defending. Tornado tries to slug away to start but takes too long taking off his robe, allowing Perfect to knock him outside. Tornado pulls him outside as well and gets in some shots of his own before throwing Perfect back inside. That means Tornado can throw him right back outside, as Tornado doesn’t have the clearest strategy. Back in (again) and Tornado hammers away before grabbing the Claw…on the stomach. With that broken up, Perfect grabs the sleeper until Tornado powers into the corner.

Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Perfect pulls a turnbuckle pad off. A quick Tornado Punch sends Perfect outside but another one hits the post by mistake. Back in and Perfect sends him into the post for two but the PerfectPlex only gets two. Tornado gets the Claw so Perfect pulls the referee in, only for the Tornado Punch to connect for a delayed near fall. Back up and Tornado hits another Tornado Punch….but NOW the referee calls for the DQ at 7:45. What a ridiculous ending.

Rating: C-. Perfect was trying here but there is only so much that can be done when Tornado is in this kind of shape. Tornado was clearly not right out there, which was becoming an issue more and more frequently. The guy looked great, but it didn’t matter if he couldn’t have a coherent match most of the time. Throw in a screwy ending and there was only so much to be done with this.

Post match Tornado sends him into the exposed buckle for the big spinning sell.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Koko B. Ware vs. Tito Santana

This is a very rare face vs. face match and even Heenan thinks this will be good. They shake hands and then go to a lockup to start, with Heenan saying that his Family could have a better match. An armdrag takes Ware down and Santana does it again as they’re certainly in first gear so far. Santana snapmares his way out of a hammerlock and actually suggests a hair pull. A shoulder block into an armdrag puts Ware down and they seem to be getting a big agitated.

We get an exchange of shoves (Heenan: “I LIKE IT!”) before Ware punches him in the face as things get a lot more aggressive. They go outside where Ware sends him into the post before going back inside to hammer away. Ware slugs him down and drops an elbow for two, setting up the nerve hold. Some snap jabs have Heenan rather pleased, with Mooney thinking Ware might belong in the Heenan Family. The top rope fist drop misses though and Santana makes the comeback. They both miss clotheslines but Santana hits the flying forearm for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was so strange to see and oddly enough, it worked well. Ware knows how to work this style and Santana is as good of a face as you’ll find, but dang this does doesn’t feel right in the WWF. I’ll take something going this way for a change though, as it was cool to see a fresh take on a match instead of more of the same.

Believe it or not, Hayes is lost.

We look at wrestlers who have gone from wrestling to broadcasting (From The Mat To The Mike), including Gorilla Monsoon, who talks about making the transition and promises to be around more often.

Roddy Piper gets a look as well and insists he is NOT retired. He makes some jokes about Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper before saying it’s better to not get beaten up.

We also have Gene Okerlund, which is an excuse to show his match with Hulk Hogan against Mr. Fuji and George Steele.

Finally Randy Savage talks about going against the best of all time and giving everything he had. Naturally he’s as intense as a broadcaster as he was as a wrestler.

The van has engine trouble.

From West Palm Beach, Florida, December 12, 1990.

Undertaker vs. Tugboat

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning someone actually requested to see it. We’re VERY early in Undertaker’s time as he still has Brother Love as his manager. Undertaker slugs away to little effect as Tugboat shoves him back. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere so Undertaker tries a leapfrog but Tugboat just stops, resulting in a knee to the head instead.

Back up and Tugboat elbows him down, which is quite the big deal for Undertaker at this point. Another elbow drops Undertaker but Tugboat misses the elbow drop. Undertaker hammers away but misses a charge in the corner, with Tugboat falling down as he tries a slam. Some shots to the back have Tugboat down again but he’s back up with a powerslam. A kick to the face rocks Undertaker again but Tugboat misses a charge in the corner. Undertaker’s top rope forearm to the chest is good for the pin at 5:43. Mooney: “What a great match this turned out to be!” LIAR!

Rating: D. I was a fan when I was a kid but my goodness Tugboat was HORRIBLE. He was big, he was slow, and those are his good points. Other than that, Tugboat just did not have anything to offer in the ring and that was on display here. Things would get a bit better when he would turn into Typhoon, but this was not a good time for him whatsoever.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Shawn Michaels vs. Crush

Marty Jannetty and Mr. Fuji are here too. Crush pounds away to start and blocks a sunset flip. Michaels hammers back and hits a flying shoulder but the kickout sends him flying outside. Back in and Michaels goes simple with a front facelock, which Crush powers into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

A torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker keeps Michaels in trouble, followed by the required bearhug. With that broken up, Crush switches over to a bodyscissors but misses a top rope knee drop to leave them both down. Fuji gets on the apron as Crush catches Michaels, only for Jannetty to add a high crossbody to knock Michaels onto Crush for the pin at 7:19.

Rating: C+. Crush was little more than a monster for Michaels to slay here, as you could see Michaels’ singles star power trying to break through. That’s a great sign for his future and he is getting better before your eyes at this point. It’s no surprise that he is getting this kind of a singles push and it was working well enough.

Hayes and Mooney work on the van, with Hayes using Mooney’s jacket to clean up. They know the problem….but don’t know how to fix it.

From Huntsville, Alabama, January 7, 1991.

Mr. Fuji/Orient Express vs. Legion Of Doom

For some reason Fuji starts for the team but then switches out with Kato, while also playing pass the salt. Animal shoves Kato around and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Kato slaps him in the face and gets a chase going, allowing Kato to strike away back inside. Tanaka comes in and gets knocked down, where it’s time for a meeting with his cohorts.

Back in and Tanaka teases going after Hawk, who growls him away. Hawk fights off a double teaming and Kato bails out to the floor, where Animal picks him up for a gorilla press toss back inside. A running clothesline puts Kato on the floor again though and Animal clotheslines him there as well.

This isn’t going so well for him at the moment. Animal runs Tanaka over so Kato offers a distraction, with the salt to the eyes taking Animal down. That has Animal in trouble for all of a few seconds before he clotheslines his way to freedom. Hawk comes back in clean house and the Doomsday Device finishes Kato at 8:00.

Rating: C-. There was only so much you could get out of this kind of a match and there was no way around it. The LOD more or less squashed them here, with even the salt not being able to do much. That was part of the problem with the LOD: you could only put so many teams against them and that was the case at this point, as they didn’t have much in the way of competition.

And now, Gourmet Cooking Tips with the Bushwhackers. We start with a salad, which is thrown everywhere, then the mashed potatoes, which has a special ingredient, then broccoli, which results in bodily function jokes, and then walnut surprise cake, which is shoved into faces. We also get a flashback to Gene Okerlund becoming a Bushwhacker in the first Supertape thanks to some Bushwhacker Buzzard. Back in the kitchen, an apple goes into Okerlund’s mouth and the Bushwhackers want him for dinner. This was about ten minutes of not funny.

Hayes says he knows a good repairman and Mooney shows us to a profile on the Big Boss Man.

Boss Man talks about being the law and order around here and promises us three matches.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, September 16, 1990.

Earthquake vs. Big Boss Man

Jimmy Hart is here (minus the megaphone for some reason) with the non-Canadian Earthquake. They take their time circling each other to start and finally lock up, with Earthquake shoving him hard into the corner. For some reason Hayes finds this hilarious, though it might be Earthquake doing the posing. Back in and Boss Man does his weird bouncing headlock before punching him into the corner.

Boss Man gets powered into the corner but knocks Earthquake down, followed by chasing Hart around the ring. Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and gets low bridged down for two, only for Earthquake to hit him in the throat. Boss Man gets sent into the corner so Earthquake can sit on him, which doesn’t go well.

Back up Earthquake wins a slugout and an atomic drop has Boss Man in more trouble. Boss Man gets up with a shot to the back of the head and a kick to drop Earthquake, setting up the running clotheslines. That means Earthquake gets tied up in the ropes, but Boss Man goes after Hart and an invading Dino Bravo. Earthquake gets out and hits him in the back, setting up a big elbow for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C+. I liked the match, but it’s a bit weird to see Boss Man losing in a match designed to be part of his profile. That being said, it was a good brawl, as Boss Man was always good at slugging it out at someone bigger than him. It worked very well against Vader and this was a similar enough idea.

Post match Earthquake goes after him again but Tugboat makes the save.

From Syracuse, New York, November 20, 1990.

Bobby Heenan vs. Big Boss Man

So Heenan has spent weeks insulting Boss Man’s mother so it’s time for payback. Before the match, Heenan brings out a Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy (that’s worth some cash these days) as a gift to Boss Man’s mother, along with roses that he has already sent to her. Boss Man comes to the ring and shoves the wrestling buddy into his face. Heenan gets in a shot with the microphone so Boss Man hits him with the nightstick for the win at 31 seconds.

Post match Haku comes in and gets beaten down just as fast. Boss Man handcuffs them together but Mr. Perfect runs in to go after Boss Man as the other two leave. That’s broken up as well and Boss Man clears the ring, with Mooney declaring it a “great matchup.” Again, LIAR!

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, November 25, 1990 (I believe, as I’ve seen multiple dates and locations for this one).

The Barbarian vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man slugs away to start and hits a big boot, followed by a running elbow to send him outside. Back in and Barbarian strikes away for a change, only to get clotheslined out to the floor. Barbarian gets back in but has a big boot blocked, allowing Boss Man to hit the running crotch attack against the back. That doesn’t last long as Barbarian knocks him down for some ax handles to the back.

The bearhug goes on for a good while but Barbarian lets it go. The middle rope elbow misses for Barbarian though and they slug it out, with Boss Man doing his always rather awesome “out on his feet” selling. Boss Man kicks him in the head and grabs a hot shot for two but can’t hit a piledriver. Instead Barbarian backdrops him down…and right into a sunset flip to give Boss Man the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C. There is something cool about the way Boss Man sells and it was working again here. At the same time, Barbarian continues to be the perfect choice for a spot like this as he can make someone like Boss Man work but doesn’t lose any status whatsoever in defeat. This wasn’t anything special, but it could have been far worse.

Post match Haku runs in to help Barbarian with the double team. And no one makes the save. What a great way to wrap up a profile.

Mooney pulls up his pants to cross a stream. Hayes uses the footbridge about twenty feet away, which Mooney somehow didn’t notice.

From Huntsville, Alabama, January 7, 1991.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging. They take their time to start until Slaughter takes him into the corner and chokes/kicks/hammers away. Warrior kicks right back though and a right hand sends Slaughter over the top, with his massive chin getting caught on the bottom rope (that’s a new one). Back in and Slaughter gets knocked out to the floor again, this time allowing Warrior to send him back inside for the hard chops.

Slaughter manages to knock him outside and send him into the timekeeper’s table before hammering away back inside. A catapult into the corner gives Warrior a breather though and a double clothesline puts both of them down. Slaughter grabs a backbreaker for two and puts on the camel clutch, with Warrior getting to the ropes for the break. Warrior Warriors Up, hits a flying shoulder and drops the splash to retain at 9:57.

Rating: C. Yeah you could only expect so much out of a match like this, as it was a dark match from a TV taping to send the fans home happy. The problem with that is there was only so much joy to be found in a Warrior match. He was mere days away from losing the title to Slaughter, so it was almost weird to seeing him win clean like this.

Mooney and Hayes realize they’re walking around in circles. Hayes walks off on his own, presumably leaving Mooney to die in the woods.

Overall Rating: C-. These compilations can be a lot of fun, but at the same time, they can also be rather dreadful. Unfortunately the latter was the case here, as nothing on here was worth seeing, with even the profile on Boss Man only being so good. Total waste of a tape, which fits the era rather well.

 

 

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Superstars
Date: June 13, 1992
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re off to the start of a new taping cycle here and that means…well very little but it’s still nice to see these things being released on occasion. They’re such an easy watch and that makes for some fun flashbacks. The big story continues to be Papa Shango cursing the Ultimate Warrior and the blowoff has to be coming soon. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The hosts welcome us to the show with a bunch of horse puns before talking about the WBF Championships, because that’s still a thing.

We run down the card.

Tatanka vs. Barry Horowitz

Horowitz hammers away to start but Tatanka is back with some leapfrogs (and barely seems to get the landing on one of them). A hiptoss doesn’t do much to Horowitz, who sends Tatanka face first into his boot. Tatanka hits a not exactly smooth gorilla press and we get a Rick Martel insert promo, mocking Tatanka over the stolen feathers. Tatanka fights back, hits the top rope chop to the head, and finishes with the Papoose To Go at 2:24.

UPDATE!

We recap Ultimate Warrior’s issues due to Papa Shango’s curse. Then last week Shango blew smoke at Gene Okerlund and left him unable to use his right hand, which started spurting out more black goo. Okerlund does sell it rather well, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

The Warrior is willing to sacrifice his flesh so he can walk only as a skeleton. If he stands only as a skeleton, it is still as the skeleton as the Ultimate Warrior. I’m sure that’s answering a challenge. I guess.

Shawn Michaels vs. Graig Brown

Sherri is here with Michaels, who takes Brown down a few times. We get an insert interview from Michaels/Sherri, where he talks about how hard it must be to go through life being as ugly as Bret Hart. He’ll take that Intercontinental Title from Hart though. A ram into the buckle annoys Michaels so he rolls outside for a quick check in the mirror. Back in and the superkick into the teardrop suplex finishes Brown at 1:41. Naturally Michaels uses this as a chance to talk about the WBF. Let it go already man.

We go to the Event Center with Sean Mooney.

Repo Man doesn’t like dogs ruining his business and suggests a choke collar. That’s what he wants to do to the British Bulldog.

Texas Tornado has rededicated a lot of things, including his life, his friends and to Jesus, because he is doing it for you. You could hear him slurring his words a bit here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We go to the streets of Miami, where Razor Ramon talks about how he comes from the gutter. He has no education, but who needs it? Look at his gold and his clothes. Of course he is a success, and all he wants is the world.

Natural Disasters vs. Executioners

The Executioners (generic masked guys) charge at the Disasters to start and try some slams, earning themselves a pair of backbreakers. Typhoon splashes #1 in the corner and then throws him down, followed by some slow stomping. Earthquake comes in for the double splash in the corner and for some reason #2 tries a double clothesline (Perfect finds this amazingly stupid). The powerslam into the Earthquake into the Typhoon splash (ignore that Typhoon was already in the ring when he was tagged) finishes at 2:57.

Back to the Event Center, with Skinner talking about how he likes it nice and hot in the summer. Virgil and Crush (“Or Crunch, whatever his name is.”) are coming at him from different sides but he has all the time in the world. If he can beat up a bear or an alligator, he can beat up a WWF Superstar.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker warn Berzerker and Mr. Fuji against coming to the dark side.

The Mountie vs. Bill Koby

Vince’s “Oh no not him again” when Mountie comes out is great. Mountie takes his time to start before tying him up in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. We get an insert promo from Sgt. Slaughter talking about the importance of Flag Day. Mountie finishes with a dropkick at 1:27.

Post match the Mountie gets his shock stick out of the box and threatens Koby, who runs away just in time.

Ad for the WBF PPV.

We get an empty arena interview with Randy Savage, who will be defending the WWF Title later. There are allegations that he had to bend the rules to win the title, which makes Savage whistle. Yes he has bent the rules a time or two but he reserves the right to do it again in the future. He’s fine with wrestling scientifically but if he knows he’s going against a dirty player, he’s not going to be naive.

Savage isn’t going to forget anything Ric Flair has said or done and he’ll take it to the grave. He’s bad to the bone with a heart made of stone and he’s the WWF Champion and Ric Flair is not. Of course he’ll break the rules if it means beating Flair. It’s weird to hear a clear good guy talk like that, but it fits Savage perfectly well.

Kamala vs. Dale Wolfe

Harvey Wippleman handles Kamala’s introduction. Kamala chops away on the ropes to start and stomps him down, followed by a variety of choking. Commentary goes silent for a few moments before the splash finishes for Kamala at 1:24.

El Matador vs. Mike Samples

Of note: during Matador’s entrance, a man with a mustache and wearing a blue shirt can be seen holding up a four year old, who got a high five from Matador himself (no wonder I’ve always been a fan). Commentary finally stops talking about the WBF before going to an insert promo from Matador….so he can talk about the WBF. Matador takes him down by the arm and finishes with El Paso de la Muerte at 1:26.

Mr. Perfect calls the Big Boss Man and we see shots of all of the bruises and injuries the Boss Man sustained at the hands of Nailz. Perfect is glad that Boss Man’s career is over but Boss Man says he’ll be back, which makes Perfect hang up.

Nailz vs. Ron Cumberledge

For some reason, Nailz is one of the only things I remember about this show (likely due to being terrified of him). Nailz chokes away in the corner and kicks him in the ribs. A standing choke finishes Cumberledge at 1:07.

Post match Nailz beats him down with a nightstick.

Papa Shango talks about pain and how he’s hurting the Ultimate Warrior. The Warrior will become his mindless, thankless troll. How could you tell?

The Legion Of Doom are ready for every team around because they are the only great team around.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Shawn Michaels has left the building. McMahon: “What?”

Overall Rating: C-. This was a fairly weak show even by Superstars standards, but at the same time, there was some great nostalgia in here. It’s a show I haven’t seen since it aired live (or even being there in person) and it’s from a period that the WWF doesn’t talk about very often. The fact that McMahon and Perfect talked about the WBF so much rather than the show itself shows you just where the WWF was at this point.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 25, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and the Raw archive being moved off Peacock didn’t help. I want to finish the gaps I have in the show’s history though and that includes a long stretch around this time. We’re coming up on Unforgiven and that means we need to fill in some spots in the Championship Scramble. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title. JBL grabs a headlock to start but misses the elbow, allowing Punk to fire off the kicks. A kick to the face gets two and Punk forearms away in the corner. An armdrag into an armbar has JBL down again and a big kick to the head has him on the floor. The suicide dive is kind of sent into the announcers’ table but Punk is fine enough to hit a high crossbody for two back inside. JBL kicks him outside without much trouble and we take a break.

Back with JBL working on a bearhug but Punk fights out and hits a tornado DDT for a delayed two. The bulldog out of the corner gives Punk two but the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. JBL goes for a chair in a not so bright move and of course has it taken away. Punk uses the distraction to hit a quick GTS for the pin.

Rating: C+. They were in a weird spot here as Punk needed the win but JBL is also on his way to the Scramble match. In theory he shouldn’t be taking falls, but it’s not like JBL has much int eh way of value in the first place after all those losses. The match was a decent enough brawl, but it’s nice to see Punk getting a clean(ish) win like this.

Here is Mike Adamle for a chat. He shows us a video from Summerslam, with Batista beating John Cena. This included some Batista Bombs, which have resulted in Cena needing surgery. That means he will be out of the Championship Scramble but a replacement will be announced by the end of the night. Why not just announce it now? Did we really need two Adamle appearances?

Kane talks about destroying Rey Mysterio and the pain makes him salivate. He loved hurting Mysterio and now people are wondering if Mysterio is alive or dead.

Primo Colon is with Mike Adamle and says he’s not like Carlito. Shawn Michaels comes in and says he wants Chris Jericho, who isn’t here yet. He ignores a question about how his wife is doing.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Non-title and Santino Marella is here with Phoenix. Kelly goes after her to start and is quickly sat on the top. That’s broken up and Kelly gets two off a quick rollup. Phoenix pulls her into a chinlock and cranks away but Kelly fights up. Marella pulls Phoenix away from a handspring elbow but the distraction lets Kelly get a rollup for the upset pin.

Post match Phoenix beats up Marella.

We look at a classic moment from 1989 with Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect. Sounds classic to me.

Primo Colon vs. Charlito

That would be Charlie Haas doing a Carlito impression, with commentary not hiding what is going on. Primo sends him into the corner and snaps off a middle rope headscissors. Charlito gets in a right hand and hammers away, setting up a chinlock. Primo fights up, strikes away, and hits a high crossbody for the win. This was as good as Charlie Haas doing a Carlito impression in a short match was going to be.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with Jericho accidentally hitting Michaels’ wife to make this mega personal. Jericho isn’t overly disturbed.

Here is Michaels, looking rather serious, for a chat. First off, his wife is hurt and he has been trying to tell himself that it was just an accident. Then they watched Raw and Jericho blamed Michaels. Why didn’t Michaels send in a letter of resignation? It’s because he has earned the right to come out here and thank the fans one last time.

That’s why he had his wife out here with him and she got punched in the face. Michaels isn’t going anywhere, but here is Jericho on the Titantron. He isn’t here because people are scared of what he might do if he was. Remember what happened the last time they were in the ring together? Jericho knows that Michaels is trying to goad him into the match but Michaels cuts him off, saying that it has to be a match.

Otherwise, Michaels would be thrown in jail. He’ll sign whatever Jericho wants to make this match happen because of what he can do. Jericho says try to use that bad eye or look at his bruised wife. Michaels says his wife is tougher than Jericho and that’s enough for the match to be on. They’re set for Unforgiven, with Michaels saying an eye for an eye. They sold the heck out of this and I want to see them fight. Nice job.

Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes vs. Jerry Lawler/Jim Duggan

Non-title, though Rhodes and DiBiase don’t have the titles after Cryme Tyme stole them last week. Lawler backs DiBiase against the ropes to start before cutting him off with a shot to the face. DiBiase takes him into the corner though and it’s off to Rhodes for a cross face chickenwing.

Back up and Rhodes slaps him in the face, which means the strap comes down immediately. Lawler slugs away and hits a jawbreaker to DiBiase, allowing the tag off to Duggan. House is quickly cleaned with a clothesline and swinging slam getting two on DiBiase. Everything breaks down and DiBiase grabs a Million Dollar Dream legsweep for the fast pin on Duggan.

Rating: C. This was pretty much the definition of “exactly what you were expecting” as Duggan and Lawler were the veterans who didn’t like how the loudmouthed rookies are acting. That means the old guys get in a few shots before falling short, which is how it should have gone. If nothing else, DiBiase and Rhodes need to deal with Cryme Tyme, who are likely waiting on them at Unforgiven.

Post match Rhodes grabs the mic and says it’s a crime to steal titles so here is Cryme Tyme to introduce themselves. They want a title shot at Unforgiven, with DiBiase not being happy but agreeing. DiBiase promises to show that the team is priceless, with Shad calling him a “silly white boy”.

Batista sends well wishes to John Cena, calling him one of the toughest opponents he has ever faced. Tonight he is facing a monster in Kane and it’s personal.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Kofi Kingston

Marella is defending. Kingston goes after the arm to start and hits the jumping back elbow for two. A monkey flip sends Marella into the corner for the right hands to the face but Kingston’s spinning high crossbody misses. Marella slaps on an abdominal stretch, which doesn’t last long as he’s right back with a middle rope shot to the head. The Boom Drop connects and Marella rolls outside but here is Beth Phoenix to cut him off. Kingston throws Marella back inside but Phoenix grabs the leg, sending Kingston’s head into Marella’s knee. This apparently knocks Kingston completely cold so Marella can retain.

Rating: C. That was quite the weak ending, with Kingston looking like he got knocked cold off a simple trip. If you didn’t notice him landing on Marella’s knee, Kingston now looks like one of the weakest stars in WWE today. This would have been better suited with a fluke rollup, but at least Phoenix and Marella have made after all those….minutes since they had a fight.

Post match Phoenix pins Marella into the corner and kisses him. Marella does the same to her, though she might not be as enthused.

Josh Matthews and Candice Michelle are at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. Go vote.

Mike Adamle picks Rey Mysterio to replace John Cena in the Championship Scramble. Wasn’t he possibly dead about an hour ago?

Unforgiven rundown.

Batista vs. Kane

They actually go to the mat to start, which is quite the bizarre visual. Batista fireman carries him down and works on an armbar as I’m almost wondering if this is a rib. The armbar is broken up so Batista tries a failed Batista Bomb attempt. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock, which feels a lot more his speed. Batista fights up and kicks him in the head but Kane dropkicks the leg out as this match is full of surprises. Some rapid fire elbows to the knee keep Batista down and Kane stomps him down in the corner. A big boot in the corner sets up more cranking on the leg but Batista goes back to the arm for a breather.

Kane shrugs that off and slams the bad knee into the mat before pulling on the leg again. Back up and Batista manages a heck of a clothesline and a powerslam but the knee gives out. Kane can’t hit a chokeslam but Batista can hit a spinebuster. That doesn’t do much as Kane wraps the leg around the post and hits it with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. So it’s personal and they do a technical match to start? That’s one of those things that does not make sense no matter how you slice it, though at least things did pick up a bit near the end. The leg and arm stuff made for a good enough match, but it’s not the kind of match that they should have been having given how we got here. These two can have a big brawl, but for some reason they just didn’t.

Post match Kane goes after the leg even more but Batista gets in a shot of his own. Batista takes the chair and unloads, doing the same thing to Kane’s leg in a nice touch. Both guys go down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Shawn vs. Jericho feud is absolutely carrying the show right now and that’s not a surprise. The rest of the important parts of the show is almost exclusively about the Championship Scramble and that’s not the easiest match to build towards. Throw in a pretty extended focus on Glamarella and this show was kind of all over the place. That being said, Shawn and Jericho are on another planet right now and that’s more than worth the look.

 

 

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Superstars
Date: April 25, 1992
Location: Wings Stadium, Kalamazoo, Michigan
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

The look back at Superstars continues on the WWE Vault and I’m certainly fine with that. It’s the former big weekly show and that means things might actually happen around here. I had fun doing a show from about a month after this one and it could be interesting to see what happens on this episode too. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon is on his own to start as Mr. Perfect has to be in Ric Flair’s corner as Flair tries to get back on track after losing the WWF Title at Wrestlemania.

Here’s who to expect on the show.

Ric Flair vs. Ron Cumberledge

Feeling out process to start with Flair backing him into the corner and slowly hammering away. Perfect calls Cumberledge “Savage”, with Vince correcting him because that’s something Vince would do. The Figure Four finishes fast at 2:13.

UPDATE!

We get a look at the concert in the park, featuring Sherri, Jimmy Hart, the Mounties and the Nasty Boys singing for charity. It’s as bad as you would expect. There was also a Wrestlemania Superstars Look A Like contest and…I’ve seen worse. We had a big reception, with Hulk Hogan bringing out his daughter and wife for a rare cameo. Finally, there was a brunch, which looks more like wrestlers just sitting around. This was actually rather cool and felt like the forerunner to Axxess.

British Bulldog vs. Kevin Kruger

Perfect joins commentary, thankfully getting us away from Vince doing a solo job. Bulldog armdrags him down a few times to start and hits a slam as Vince refers to Kruger as “the opposition”, likely not knowing his name. The delayed vertical suplex sets up the running powerslam to finish Kruger at 1:29.

You’ve got to want it! As in the WBF Bodystars. I don’t think many people wanted it.

Beverly Brothers vs. Erik Collins/Mike Freedom

The Genius is here with the Beverly Brothers. Beau beats on Freedom to start and we get an insert promo from the Beverlys, who dub the Legion Of Doom (and Paul Ellering) the Legion Of SISSIES. The jump onto the back hits Freedom and Beau calls him Animal (ala Mr. Perfect in the first match). The Shaker Heights Spike finishes at 1:48.

Post match Genius pours out some yellow paint so the Beverlys can do an LOD mockup on Collins. Actually make that LOS.

EVENT CENTER!

The Legion Of Doom is ready to wreck the Beverly Brothers.

The Repo Man can help the economy because he takes things from people so they don’t have to waste money paying for them. And he’ll be rich!

Crush is at a junk heap where he talks about his mom telling him to mind his manners as a kid. We see a black and white video of a child trying to pour milk but squeezing the carton too hard, sending the milk flying. Back in real life (and in color), Crush says he’s full grown, so who is going to teach him to mind his manners now?

Shawn Michaels vs. George Anderson

Sherri is here with Shawn, who hammers Anderson into the corner to start. A knockdown lets us hear from Bret Hart, who isn’t going to let Shawn tarnish the Intercontinental Title. The superkick connects (not really) and the Teardrop suplex finishes Anderson at 1:47.

EVENT CENTER TWO!

Texas Tornado knew there would be difficult challenges when he came here and gives a rather incoherent promo (I’m shocked) about how the two belts (or maybe one) are about honor and the dreams he is made of. Or something. I think.

The Nasty Boys want the Tag Team Titles back.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Slaughter hammers away to start and leapfrogs him, much to Perfect’s shock. The insert promo sees Slaughter promising to make the Mountie an international maggot. Does that include official paperwork? A gutbuster into an elbow to the ribs sets up the Cobra Clutch to finish the Brawler at 1:39.

Sid Justice, with Harvey Wippleman, comes out to the platform for a chat. Justice is sick of the Ultimate Warrior and the Little Warriors because he is the man that everyone fears. Warrior tried to save Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania but who is saving the Warrior from Justice? No one can do it because Justice rules the world.

Shawn Michaels has left the building!

Natural Disasters vs. Kent Carlson/Tom Stone

Earthquake knocks Carlson down to start and powers him into the corner without much trouble. The big elbow to the back connects as we get an insert promo from Money Inc., with Jimmy Hart, bragging about retaining the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania. A double splash in the corner to Carlson sets up a double splash in the corner to Carlson and Stone at the same time. The Earthquake into the big splash finishes Carlson at 2:30.

EVENT CENTER! WHERE THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT EVENTS!

Skinner is tired of having to prove himself and it’s time to beat people because he’s hungry.

Tatanka thanks everyone from the great spirits to the fans for their support. He wants to rise to the top and make his people proud again. Not a bad promo here.

Undertaker vs. Berzerker

Paul Bearer and Mr. Fuji are here too. Hold on though as Fuji steals the Urn and Berzerker hits Bearer with the shield. Berzerker hits Undertaker with the shield a few times and then hits him in the back with the sword (as you do). A stab sends the sword through the mat and Berzerker knocks Undertaker to the floor. Berzerker piledrives him on the exposed concrete and leaves, only for Undertaker to stalk him up the aisle.

Skinner is ready for the Ultimate Warrior on Superstars.

The Ultimate Warrior is ready for Skinner on Superstars.

Next week: an update on Undertaker! You mean the guy who got up and walked away? What kind of update do we need?

Overall Rating: C+. This is far from a good time for the promotion, but dang it’s fun to see how things can go with the company trying to find something that works. When you have things like Undertaker almost being stabbed and the LOD being called the LEGION OF SISSIES, you can tell they’re trying to find themselves. That’s what had to happen with Hogan stepping away though and it makes for a fascinating transitional period, which was just getting going.

Results
Ric Flair b. Ron Cumberledge – Figure Four
British Bulldog b. Kevin Kruger – Running powerslam
Beverly Brothers b. Erik Collins/Mike Freedom – Shaker Heights Spike to Collins
Shawn Michaels b. George Anderson – Teardrop suplex
Sgt. Slaughter b. Brooklyn Brawler – Cobra Clutch
Natural Disasters b. Kent Carlson/Tom Stone – Splash to Carlson

 

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Wrestlemania XLI Night One
Date: April 19, 2025
Location: Allegiant Stadium, Paradise, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett, Pat McAfee
God Bless America: Jelly Roll

We have finally arrived with the biggest two nights of the year. The show is stacked as always and that means we should be in for a major event. There are multiple titles on the line and there is always the chance that we will have some surprises, including the question of who Paul Heyman will side with in the main event. Let’s get to it.

Various people came to work today.

The set looks like a big casino, which looks rather good.

The opening video talks about knowing the whole story, but realizing that this is just the beginning. We look at some famous Wrestlemania moments and legends and this is the realest it has ever been. There are legendary stories and sometimes they are true.

Here is HHH to open things up. After his usual speech thanking the fans and hyping up the show, we’re ready to go.

Raw World Title: Jey Uso vs. Gunther

Uso is challenging and comes to the ring with a DJ, people waving big YEET flags and the Las Vegas Raiders cheerleaders. The stadium goes NUTS for the entrance and it must be amazing to realize that those people are going that nuts for you and you alone. After the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go with Uso seemingly favoring his wrist. They lock up and Jey actually knocks him down, with Gunther needing a breather on the floor.

Back in and Gunther grabs a headlock takeover but gets enziguried right back to the floor. Gunther gets back in and grabs him to slow things down, setting up a huge chop to knock Jey off the top and out to the floor. Jey gets back in and gets chopped some more, including a running one in the corner. A sudden spear gives Jey two but Gunther chops him down again. Jey counters the powerbomb into a Samoan drop so he goes up, only to get superplexed back down.

The dropkick into a powerbomb gets two but Jey is back with another spear. The Superfly Splash connects for two and Gunther is ready to walk out. That does work for the referee or Jey, the latter of whom charges into a belt shot. Gunther hits the top rope splash and fires off the elbows to the head before grabbing the sleeper. Jey makes it to the ropes and Gunther’s frustration is growing rapidly.

More chops have Jey laughing as we’re getting reminiscent of Roman Reigns against Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania XXXI. Jey fights up with a clothesline and a German suplex but Gunther dropkicks him down again. Gunther’s powerbomb is countered into a powerbomb from Jey, followed by some superkicks. Three straight Superfly Splashes have Gunther getting back to his feet but Jey pulls him into a sleeper for the tap and the title at 16:33.

Rating: B. They actually did it. I know they’ve set this title change up for months now but I didn’t think they would actually pull the trigger on the change. Good for them for making a new star, as Jey is one of the most popular stars in all of the company and they needed to capitalize on it. I have no idea how long the title reign will last, but at least he has this one big moment. The match was good too, with Jey overwhelming Gunther, which has been his kryptonite for a long time. I’m not sure what is next for Gunther, but going after Cody wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Pyro goes off and Jimmy Uso comes in to celebrate. Jey gets to leave through the crowd in a great moment.

We recap New Day’s heel turn from four months ago, when they had a bunch of momentum. Then they just kind of waited around and did nothing important for a long time, but now they’re getting a title shot against the War Raiders. The champions feel like afterthoughts, but New Day isn’t exactly red hot anymore.

Raw Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. War Raiders

The Raiders are defending and New Day gets quite the negative reception, even arguing with NFL star George Kittle at ringside. Commentary spends the entrance talking about Clash Of Clans, with McAfee being either a huge fan or really good at reading a script. The Raiders jump them to start and send New Day outside for a running crossbody against the ring board.

Back in and a belly to back suplex/top rope legdrop combination gets two on Woods but Kingston pulls him outside. Erik’s dive is cut off and a top rope dive hits him on the back so New Day can take over. A double stomp gives Woods two and we stop for a Ric Flair strut. Poetry In Motion misses though and it’s back to Ivar to pick up the pace. The basement crossbody and seated senton splash out of the corner rock New Day but Kingston kicks him in the head.

Woods hits the Honor Roll but Erik breaks up the Daybreak. Trouble In Paradise hits Erik but Ivar kicks Kingston down. The Doomsault gets two, with Woods making a save with a Limit Break elbow. Woods and Erik slug it out but another Honor Roll is broken up. The War Machine is broken up though and Daybreak, with Kingston holding the leg, gives us new champions at 9:12.

Rating: C+. The match was good, but the story has felt ice cold. The problem boils down to one thing: the entire point of New Day’s heat is built around Big E. and if he isn’t there, why should I be interested? I know Big E. can’t get in the ring, but he can’t make an appearance? Maybe that comes soon, but it’s holding back everything they do.

We recap Jade Cargill vs. Naomi. Back in November, someone attacked Cargill and Naomi had to take her place as a Women’s Tag Team Champion. Then Cargill came back and attacked Naomi, revealing that she was the attacker. Naomi said she did it for her friendship with Bianca Belair, with Cargill just jumping to the front of the line. Then Naomi kept running her mouth and got wrecked by Cargill. Now they’re having a match, even after Naomi has gotten beaten up a few times already.

Jade Cargill vs. Naomi

Naomi keeps up her PROCEED WITH CAUTION theme, complete with a bunch of caution tape. Apparently enough is enough and it’s time for a change. Cargill on the other hand gets an introduction featuring a reporter from the Weather Channel, because a storm is coming. Cargill starts fast and sends her outside for a heck of a whip into the barricade. Naomi manages a ram into the steps to take over and they head inside for a big legdrop. The chinlock goes on and Cargill has to adjust her gear.

Cargill is back up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before pulling Naomi’s Blockbuster out of the air for a Jackhammer. Because that’s something one human can do to another. It works so well that Naomi goes up again, only to dive into a slam. Naomi kicks her down though and hits the split legged moonsault for two, followed by some basement superkicks. Naomi’s big kick to the head misses though, allowing Cargill to muscle her up for a NASTY spinning powerbomb. Jaded finishes Naomi at 9:26.

Rating: C+. Well, this could have been far worse. I’m not sure why it went that long when Cargill should have been smashing through Naomi, but they didn’t have any major botches. Throw in Cargill’s offense getting to look awesome and this was a good showcase for Cargill. Naomi never had a chance of winning and that’s an acceptable way to go with something like this.

We recap LA Knight vs. Jacob Fatu for the US Title.

US Title: LA Knight vs. Jacob Fatu

Knight, driving in a Maserati, is defending and slugs away to start. A neckbreaker puts Fatu down but the BFT is blocked, leaving Knight confused. Fatu slowly hammers away and screams a lot, setting up a suplex drop across the top as Knight’s ribs are banged up. Knight goes after the knee for a breather and goes up, only to dive into a powerslam. The Samoan drop is countered into a crucifix driver and they’re both down again.

Back up and Fatu is sent face first into the post and a running knee to the face smashes him again. Knight sends him shoulder first into the post a few times and goes up for the standing elbow drop. Fatu is back with a superkick but his moonsault is broken up. Knight runs the corner for the belly to back release superplex for the big crash.

That’s shrugged off as well and Fatu hits three straight running hip attacks in the corner. A Swanton gives Fatu two so he goes up for the moonsault, which is pulled into a BFT (not a bad one either). Fatu grabs the rope though and Knight is a bit stunned and frustrated. Fatu knocks him off the top and hits a pair of triple jump moonsaults for the pin and the title at 10:40.

Rating: B-. They had to do the title change here, as Fatu is not someone who should be losing a singles match, especially on this stage. He comes off as the biggest monster in wrestling these days and giving him a title is a big way to boost him up. It should be interesting to see what is next for them, but what matters is getting the title on Fatu and they did that in relatively dominant style.

Post match Haku of all people comes out to celebrate. Fatu should probably give him the title just to keep the peace.

We recap Rey Fenix (replacing an injured Rey Mysterio) vs. El Grande Americano, both of whom have only been around for a few weeks. Americano is a Mexican legend but the jealous Mysterio and Fenix think it’s Chad Gable, because they can’t handle his greatness. Now it’s time for a showdown as Fenix gets to find out what lucha libre is all about.

Rey Fenix vs. El Grande Americano

Americano’s entrance is in sepia tone and a masked Mariachi band plays him to the ring. AAA star Vikingo is in the front row and Americano shoves him, earning a kick to the head. The bell rings and Fenix gets a quick rollup for two and they go to a quick test of strength. American is sent outside for a big dive off the top but Americano is back in with a German suplex.

Fenix comes back with a kick but gets suplexed into the corner. Americano goes up and hits a moonsault 450 (because that’s a thing that can be done) for two more. Fenix is back with the Black Fire Driver for two of his own but Americano knocks him away. Americano loads up the metal plate in the mask but Fenix rolls him up. Fenix goes up for a kick to the face but hits the metal plate to hurt his ankle. The ankle lock goes on but is reversed, only for Fenix to get headbutted out of the air. The top rope headbutt finishes Fenix at 7:59.

Rating: B. The action was good enough, but the whole thing was so much fun. This was just silly wrestling stuff and it worked to near perfection. Everyone is in on the joke but the villain is getting away with his lies. That’s not a bad thing and it’s working here, with the match being good as well.

Post match Vikingo helps Fenix up.

We look back at the official announcement of WWE acquiring AAA. That’s a pretty big deal.

Here is Shawn Michaels to announce the official attendance of 61,467.

We recap Tiffany Stratton defending the Smackdown Women’s Title against Charlotte. Stratton is the new star and Charlotte won the Royal Rumble to get the shot. They have traded some VERY personal insults on the way here, making it quite the controversial feud.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Tiffany Stratton vs. Charlotte

Stratton, with a Barbie theme (makes sense) is defending and they waste no time in going for the brawl. They slug it out on the mat and head to the floor, where Charlotte gets posted. Back in and Charlotte hammers away and they go back to the floor, where Stratton is sent into the barricade. Charlotte starts yelling a lot and hits Stephanie Vaquer’s Devi’s Kiss before rolling Stratton around.

Stratton breaks out of a Boston crab and hits some handspring shots in the corner, followed by the spinebuster for two. Charlotte’s rollup doesn’t work as Stratton hits a basement dropkick. Charlotte plants her down but Natural Selection is blocked. A nice sitout powerbomb gives Charlotte two but Stratton avoids a shot to the leg. Another spinebuster gives Stratton another two but Charlotte’s high crossbody gets two.

Charlotte comes up favoring her knee though and Stratton is on it, only for the good leg to kick Stratton in the face. Stratton’s knee is wrapped around the post and the Figure Four goes on. Stratton escapes again and knocks Charlotte down but the Prettiest Moonsault Ever hits raised knees. A super Natural Selection gives Charlotte two but she can’t get the Figure Four again. Instead, Stratton hits a Regal Roll into the Prettiest Moonsault Ever to retain at 19:10.

Rating: B. They had a few issues here and there but the important thing is Stratton won clean, which is what needed to happen. Stratton losing would have put her next on a long list of people beaten by Charlotte but having her get the win here is a big deal for her. I have no reason to believe Charlotte is done coming after the title, but at least she should be knocked back a few steps for the time being.

We get the Hall Of Fame video recap.

Here is the Hall Of Fame class:

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart at Wrestlemania XIII (they’re both here and Austin will never look right in a suit)
Michelle McCool
Natural Disasters
HHH (who shakes everyone’s hands in a nice moment)

No Lex Luger, but maybe he didn’t want to be out there in his wheelchair.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. CM Punk vs. Roman Reigns in the main event. Rollins hates both of them, Reigns wants to prove he’s the best, and Punk is here because he wanted to be in the main event. Punk also has Paul Heyman in his corner to mess with Reigns, but Rollins has been trying to convince Heyman that neither Punk nor Reigns care for him.

Roman Reigns vs. CM Punk vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins gets a flamethrower, Reigns has screens of members of his family, and Punk, with Paul Heyman, gets a special video looking back at his early days in WWE before Living Colour plays him to the ring. Yeah he’s earned this. Punk, in the old school hoodie and yellow trunks, rolls outside and has a talk with Heyman at the opening bell. Reigns isn’t about to wait around and hammers on Rollins, which draws Punk back in to strike away at Rollins.

Reigns is back up with the apron dropkick before sending Punk into the apron and shouting at Heyman. Rollins goes after Punk on the floor and they brawl into the crowd. Punk hits him in the back with a chair but gets hit in the head with a trashcan to cut him down. That’s broken up and Punk suplexes him onto the trashcan before they head back to ringside.

Reigns pops back up for a dive over the barricade and they’re both wiped out. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table, with Reigns managing to use the Prime station to keep them both down. Punk fights back up and takes Reigns back inside, setting up the swinging neckbreaker. The running knees in the corner set up a DDT/neckbreaker combination to put Reigns and Rollins down at the same time. The Macho Elbow gets two so Punk goes up again, only to get caught by Rollins.

Reigns pulls him down for a Doomsday Device but pops back up to Superman Punch Punk for two. The spear is cut off with a knee and Punk slugs it out with Reigns. The Anaconda Vice is broken up and Rollins busts out some Buckle Bombs. Reigns is back up with a spear to Punk but Rollins counters a spear into the Pedigree for a rather near fall. Another spear does hit Rollins, only for Punk to GTS Reigns for two and shock has set in.

Rollins Pedigrees Punk for two more and shouts at Reigns, about how neither Mox nor the Bloodline is here for him. Rollins suggests they take Punk out and Reigns eventually agrees…or at least he teases it, only to punch Rollins in the face instead. Rollins is put through the other table and a spear gives Reigns two. Reigns yells at Heyman and grabs a guillotine on Punk, which is reversed into an Anaconda Vice.

Rollins breaks that up and grabs a Sharpshooter on Punk, only for Reigns to break it up and guillotine Rollins. Punk breaks that up with a Stomp for two on Rollins and everyone is down again. Back up and Punk spears Rollins but Reigns spears Punk but gets Stomped by Rollins, leaving everyone down yet again. Hold on though as Heyman goes to grab a chair. Both Reigns and Punk hold their hands out but Heyman hands it to Punk….and then gets in the ring to hit Punk low.

Heyman shouts that HE MADE ME DO IT and hands the chair to Reigns to unload on Punk. Heyman calls him off and points out that Rollins is right there….and then Heyman hits Reigns low too. Yep that’s the best way to go right now. Rollins gets the chair (with Heyman chilling in the corner) and blasts Reigns in the back, setting up the Stomp for the pin at 32:38.

Rating: B+. The Heyman turn was at least somewhat telegraphed but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Heyman is at his best when he finds the next big thing and then has his former protege coming for revenge and that is where we’ll be heading for a long time. Rollins winning is hardly a stretch and it felt like a huge moment for him. Solid back and forth main event and I liked it more than I was expecting. What mattered the most is it felt big and that’s what you want from the Wrestlemania main event.

Overall Rating: B. This was kind of a weird one because the big matches worked well, but there weren’t many of them. You had seven matches and three of them (opener, Women’s Title, main event) felt big. The other four were just kind of there, but none of them were bad. It was a good show which flew by, but looking at Rhodes vs. Cena tomorrow makes it feel a little less important. Still though, good show, with the twist at the end being an emotional moment.

Results
Jey Uso b. Gunther – Sleeper
New Day b. Viking Raiders – Daybreak to Ivar
Jade Cargill b. Naomi – Jaded
Jacob Fatu b. LA Knight – Triple jump moonsault
El Grande Americano b. Rey Fenix – Swan Dive
Tiffany Stratton b. Charlotte – Prettiest Moonsault Ever
Seth Rollins b. CM Punk and Roman Reigns – Stomp to Reigns

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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March To Wrestlemania IX
Date: March 28, 1993
Location: Cumberland County Civic Center, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

The title kind of speaks for itself here, as we have about a week to go before Wrestlemania and this is the big final push towards the biggest event of the year. The WWF did some specials like this back in the 90s and that means we could have an interesting selection of matches on the way to Las Vegas. Let’s get to it.

We look back at the contract signing between Bret Hart and Yokozuna, with Yokozuna crushing Hart, who got up anyway to a big reaction.

Vince and Bobby run down the card in front of a green screen.

Yokozuna vs. Randy Savage

Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji with him. They take their sweet time getting going here with no contact being made in the first two minutes. Savage ducks a few lockups before getting shoved down, leaving him thinking twice about this. Yokozuna hits a running shoulder and sends Savage flying over the top in a big heap. With Vince praising Yokozuna as much as he can, Savage gets knocked down again as the USA chants are on.

Yokozuna keeps hammering away as commentary basically says Bret Hart has no chance at Wrestlemania. Savage gets in some left hands but a single chop puts him back down. The big legdrop crushes Savage but the charge in the corner misses. A top rope ax handle puts Yokozuna on one knee but Fuji shoves Savage off the top. Yokozuna grabs a belly to belly suplex for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C+. This was designed to set up Yokozuna as the monster who is beating a former WWF Champion and that worked well. Savage’s comeback at the end was only enough to give him a sliver of hope and that’s all it needed to be. Yokozuna is the monster of monsters at this point and it’s clear that the company is entirely behind him, as they should be here.

Post match Yokozuna goes for the Banzai Drop but misses and….leaves. Well that was kind of stupid.

We look at Lex Luger’s debut at the Royal Rumble, with Bobby Heenan’s insanely over the top praise still being hilarious/uncomfortable.

Mr. Perfect vs. Skinner

Skinner jumps him to start as Heenan is VERY happy with the idea of Perfect getting beaten up. Perfect gets tossed over the top and Skinner gets in a bite on the floor. Perfect manages a posting, only for Skinner to get in a belt shot to the throat. A whipping ensues, with the referee having no issue with the foreign object. Vince goes NUTS, screaming that Heenan or Luger paid Skinner off to soften Perfect up before Wrestlemania. You know, because Skinner is a totally clean cut star otherwise.

Perfect’s eyes are raked over the top rope as Vince is AGHAST at this BLATANT RULE BREAKING! Perfect gets in a single shot though and the comeback is on, with the right hands in the corner having Skinner in more trouble. The knee lift lets Perfect choke in the ropes, where Skinner gets in an alligator claw to the face. Not that it matters as Perfect hits the PerfectPlex for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting here, with Skinner beating Perfect up until the comeback came through. It really does amaze me to see how easy Perfect can make things look out there, as it feels like he’s just waiting to turn it on and win in the end. That’s not a level of talent you see very often and it is more impressive every time.

Hulk Hogan is coming back at Wrestlemania. This was some over the top praise.

Kamala vs. Kim Chee

Before the match, Slick thanks the fans for their support for Kamala and promises that he is going to take out Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania. Not exactly as the match didn’t happen but it’s a nice sentiment. Kim Chee wants Kamala to walk back into the darkness but we cannot let that happen. Can Slick get a witness?

Anyway, Chee gets in Kamala’s face to start and seems to scare him, allowing Chee to hammer away in the corner. A slap to the face wakes Kamala up and he grabs a quickly broken bearhug. Kamala superkicks him down and the big splash, plus some coaching to turn Chee over, is enough for the pin at 2:11. That’s all it should have been.

Post match Kamala knocks him to the floor and steals the pith helmet.

We get a Wrestlemania music video in all of its 1993 glory, with various wrestlers giving some rather generic promos. That being said, this is the old Wrestlemania theme, with the OOOH OOOH, WRESTLEMANIA, PUMP IT UP PUMP IT UP (better known as Linda McMahon’s theme) so I can’t complain much. For some reason Big Boss Man, who wasn’t on Wrestlemania, gets two promos.

Vince and Bobby hype up the Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

We look back at Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake, resulting in the return of Hulk Hogan to set up a match which does not feel important in the slightest despite being the second biggest match on the card. I was a huge Brutus Beefcake fan when I was a kid but this return run never worked. Much like Hogan in the early days of Raw, which never felt right.

Money Inc. vs. Reno Riggins/Jerry Sabin

Non-title and Sabin is better known as the Italian Stallion, right down to his trunks saying ITALY. The beating starts fast with DiBiase taking Sabin to the floor and hammering away. Back in and a double back elbow drops Riggins, followed by a suplex to do it again. IRS drops an elbow and the Million Dollar Dream finishes at 2:54.

Here are the Mega Maniacs (obviously in a different arena) for a chat. Hogan talks about Money Inc. hitting Beefcake in the face with the metal briefcase and he knew it was bad. He chilled, he goosebumped and he sweated from head to toe. It was so bad that he ran to the garage and got on Brutus’ motorcycle (which just happened to be there) so he could ride to Venice Beach and bury his ear in the sand. He heard (in the sand) millions of Hulkamaniacs praying for Beefcake.

Then he rode the motorcycle for seven days to New York City, where he went to the Ramada Inn and found Beefcake watching the Three Stooges with an ice pack on his nose. Beefcake talks about going to Florida with Hogan, where they dropped rockets (yes rockets) on his new metal mask and there wasn’t a scratch on it. If Hogan did one more pushup, those Pythons would explode.

Jimmy Hart recommends not investing money in Money Inc., whereas the Mega Maniacs will have new t-shirts, Nintendo games and posters. When they win the Tag Team Titles, their stock will go through the roof. Hogan says Beefcake is mad, with Beefcake saying he spent two days running up and down the aisles at K-Mart to find hair tonic. Then he went to the desert around Las Vegas, where he chopped down some cactuses (should be cacti) and mountains (no word on if it was with the edge of his hand), where he decided he’ll take Money Inc.’s hair out of their heads with his bare hands.

Hogan says he went fishing with his bare hands and caught some sharks, but they weren’t for eating. Instead, he’s filled the pool at Caesar’s Palace with salt water for the hammerhead sharks (and some mermaids). Beefcake is going to help Hogan open the sharks’ mouths so they can wrap the Tag Team Titles around their teeth.

That way, when they throw the bathing beauties and Hulkamaniacs in the pool (with the sharks), the sharks can’t hurt a hair on their chinny chin chins (of the bathing beauties you see). Hogan has two cases of suntan lotion and he wants all the female Hulkamaniacs to have an even tan from head to toe. Catchphrase and posing ensues. If you haven’t seen this promo, go find it somewhere, as the Ultimate Warrior would have thought this was totally insane. And then it just KEPT GOING as they talk for the better part of ten minutes.

We look at Tatanka pinning Shawn Michaels a few times, earning an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania.

Michaels is ready to play Tatanka like people get played in the Las Vegas casinos.

Tatanka vs. George South

Tatanka takes him down without much trouble as Heenan is insisting that Shawn Michaels is NOT in jeopardy. All this does is make me wonder how Heenan would have done as Shawn’s manager. Tatanka takes him into the corner but South gets in a few shots of his own. A ram into the buckle sends Tatanka onto the war path as Heenan rants about how he DOES NOT CARE about Sherri being at Wrestlemania. Some chops set up the Papoose To Go to finish South at 2:29.

Post match Michaels comes out to gloat so Tatanka wants to fight. Nah.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Control Center with Gene Okerlund, who feels out of place in the WWF in 1993. He hypes up the toga party (because that really was a selling point) and the double main event, with Bret Hart being tired of hearing that he has no chance. Yokozuna could lose a lot more than face at Wrestlemania.

Crush is on a boat in Hawaii and, in a rather odd accent, promises revenge on Doink at Wrestlemania. Then he dives into the water and gets some octopuses.

The Steiners are ready to beat up the Headshrinkers.

Beverly Brothers/Little Louie vs. Bushwhackers/Tiger Jackson

Jackson would go on to become Dink The Clown. After some stalling, Beau punches Luke down to start as Heenan wants to say something important. Vince asks for a drum roll before Heenan insists he will NOT be wearing a toga. Heenan: “Imagine Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. It’ll look like an unmade bed.” We get a four person bite chain until Luke threatens to beat up Louie. Instead Jackson dances and hits Louie with a dropkick.

A splash gets two, with Louie’s kickout sending Jackson into the referee’s arm. Said referee throws Jackson back onto Louie for two before they do the sequence all over again. Louie gets in a shot of his own and Butch comes in to yell at Blake but not actually hit him. Blake gets in a cheap shot and hammers away as we get a rare BUTCH chant. Butch works on the arm and we get a chase from Louie and Jackson.

Beau comes in off the top with an ax handle to take over on Luke and we get some assisted choking on the ropes. Another top rope ax handle connects and Louie gets in a slap from the apron. Luke gets over and brings in Butch to clean house, which isn’t exactly hard on the Beverly Brothers. Everything breaks down and Jackson hits a high crossbody for the pin on Louie at 9:57. Heenan: “I didn’t understand anything I just saw.”

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? None of these people are on Wrestlemania and they get almost ten minutes, or longer than any other match on the show. That’s such a weird way to go and it was nothing that you wouldn’t see on a house show. It felt like they had nothing else to use on the show and picked a random comedy match.

We look at Giant Gonzalez debuting and taking out the Undertaker.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here of course. Bigelow slugs away to start but Undertaker drop toeholds him down. The chase is on with Bigelow getting in a shot, only to get caught with a running DDT. Old School connects but Bigelow knocks him down again as we take a break. Back with Bigelow hammering away on the floor, giving us Undertaker’s stagger sell. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he gets up.

Back in and a slam has Undertaker sitting up again, with Heenan wanting Giant Gonzalez to come out here and take care of Undertaker. Some elbows make Undertaker sit up again and Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. The comeback is on with a chokeslam sending Bigelow outside and he walks out for the countout at 7:40.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse as they had a story here with Bigelow’s big man offense not being able to keep him down. It gave you just enough drama about whether or not Bigelow could stop him before walking out. Not a great match, but it made me want to see them doing something else.

Post match Giant Gonzalez comes out for the staredown, with Undertaker slowly going towards him. Referees break it up.

Vince and Bobby (who insists he does NOT have a tail) give us a quick final Wrestlemania preview to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s a reason Wrestlemania IX is so poorly remembered and a two hour preview for the show isn’t the best thing to see. This was a way to get people hyped up for the show, but then you realize just what you’re getting into. Throw in the completely out there mixed tag and the all time weird Mega Maniacs promo and this didn’t work. The decent wrestling you get is nothing worth seeing and the whole thing is kind of a mess as a result.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this one in a few years so it seemed like a good way to go for the redo this year. This show feels like a lifetime ago and is built around Roman Reigns’ rocket push towards the main event where he will challenge Brock Lesnar. Other than that, we have the insane to imagine Sting vs. HHH showdown, which I’m sure will be a mat classic. Let’s get to it.

Before we get into the Kickoff Show matches, an interesting note: since Peacock has taken away the Kickoff Shows, I went to WWE’s YouTube page to watch the Kickoff Show matches there. The Kickoff Show is available…..but the matches have been edited out, despite the talking heads hyping them up. Unless I’m mistaken, the matches aired on YouTube in the first place, so who in the world decided to edit them out here? I’d love to hear the rationale for some of WWE’s decisions at times, because they can be downright baffling.

I say it every time I see anything from this show but DANG that stage is huge.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. New Day

Kidd and Cesaro, with Natalya, are defending, one fall to a finish, Naomi is here with the Usos, El Torito is here with Los Matadores and it’s Big E./Kofi Kingston for New Day. The outdoor light is still weird to see but it’s a cool visual. Cesaro and Kofi start things off but Diego tags himself in. That’s too much for Cesaro, who drives Jey into the barricade to take him out (with JBL confirming a shoulder injury almost immediately).

Kofi monkey flips Diego down for two and it’s Cesaro coming in as Jey is taken out. Cesaro grabs the chinlock but Kofi is up in a hurry as they can’t waste time here. The Cesaro Swing into Kidd’s dropkick rocks Kofi and Kidd kicks Kofi over for the tag to Jimmy. With four people in a corner each, Jimmy hits a bunch of running Umaga Attacks, leaving Kofi to hit a heck of a dive off the top to take out Fernando.

Jimmy superkicks Kidd for two but a Big E. blind tag lets him launch Kofi into a double stomp for two on Cesaro. Back up and the apron superplex brings Big E. in again, this time setting up a slingshot splash from Diego. Los Matadores hit a sunset bomb/Backstabber combination for two on Kingston, leaving the seconds to get into it on the floor. Natalya gets the Sharpshooter on Torito, setting up Naomi and Jimmy to hit stereo running dives.

Back in and the Big Ending gets two Diego with a few people making the save. Big E. suplexes Fernando but Jimmy breaks up the Big Ending with a superkick. Kofi comes back in for Trouble in Paradise to Kidd and everyone goes to the corner. That means the required Tower of Doom, leaving Jimmy to Superfly Splash Big E…..but Cesaro comes in to steal the pin at 9:58.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches that works every time I see it because they had a bunch of people in there flying around as fast as they could for about ten minutes. It worked very well because of the talent involved and it’s nice to see Cesaro get another big Wrestlemania win. Really smart choice for the opener here (much like the previous year’s four way tag) and the stage (even the really big one) is set for the rest of the night.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Curtis Axel, Diego, Kane, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Goldust, Tyson Kidd, Alex Riley, Erick Rowan, Ryback, Mark Henry, Fandango, Fernando, Xavier Woods, Darren Young, Jimmy Uso, Cesaro, Damien Mizdow. Viktor, Hideo Itami, Adam Rose, Konnor, The Miz, Big Show, Big E, Heath Slater, Zack Ryder, Bo Dallas, Sin Cara, Kofi Kingston,

Axel stops to tear off the Axelmania shirt and is quickly sent out by the mob. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami, who won a tournament in NXT to get his spot. Miz and Mizdow (in the stunt double phase) double team Riley for the elimination and Dallas dumps out Ryder, only to get tossed by Itami. Show puts Itami out with the big right hand, earning a lot of booing.

Kane gets rid of Fernando and Diego and Cesaro does the same to Cara. There goes Kidd as the eliminations are coming in a hurry. The Ascension manages to dump Henry (possibly their main roster highlight) but Ryback tosses both of them. Ryback tosses Young and Slater but Titus runs him over. That earns Titus an elimination and Show knocks out Swagger.

New Day triple teams Big Show, who eliminates all three from the apron. Rowan and Goldust are out as well and Kane chokeslams Miz and Mizdow (not out). Cesaro slams Kane out ala Show last year and Show gets rid of Uso. That leaves Cesaro to go after Show but he can’t slam him this time, allowing Show to dump him out. Ryback drops Show but charges into the elimination.

We’re down to Ryback, Miz and Mizdow, with the fans going nuts for Mizdow. The split is teased and Mizdow listens to the fans by dumping Miz and shouting that he quits. That leaves Show vs. Mizdow and the fans are right behind him again. Mizdow skins the cat to avoid an elimination and gets Show upside down on the top….but then Show powers him up and out for the win at 18:07.

Rating: D+. They kept it moving despite how much time it had, but between Itami being completely wasted in the whole thing and the storyline of “Big Show has never won a battle royal” (except he had) and the fans BEGGING for Mizdow to get the win, this was a hard one to sit through. Show would use his newfound momentum (which he totally needed) by not winning another match for two and a half months.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is narrated by LL Cool J, who talks about how we have all been connected for years. It has been the case from radio to television to the internet but the one constant has been us. We have those moments where we can all connect to, when we look at each other and say that was awesome. That is what Wrestlemania has done for us to shape our history. These men and women will take the biggest stage in live entertainment to move us and shape us to connect us. This is Wrestlemania. Awesome stuff here from LL Cool J, who sold the heck out of this thing.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth

Barrett is defending in a ladder match and this is the result of the rather stupid “a bunch of people steal the title” deal. Bryan is still crazy over, as you might have guessed. It’s so bizarre seeing Brandi Rhodes as a run of the mill (yet talented) ring announcer. It’s also weird seeing Cody Rhodes as….whatever Stardust was supposed to be. Huge pop for Ambrose here too. It’s a big brawl to start with some of the people being knocked out to the floor.

Ambrose hits a suicide dive onto Harper and Barrett throws a ladder. Truth hits a running flip dive to drop Barrett but Stardust dives onto a bunch of people. Harper backdrops Ziggler onto even more people and then hits almost everyone with a dive of his own. Ambrose is the last man standing so he climbs a ladder to dive onto the pile as well. It’s Truth up first with a ladder but the fear of heights lets Barrett come in with some ladder shots.

Bryan knocks Barrett down and crushes him with the ladder in the corner. Stardust and Barrett get crushed in the corner but Harper shoves the ladder at Bryan to cut him off. This includes tying Harper in the Tree of Woe for some YES Kicks but Ziggler makes the save with a superkick this time around. Ziggler and Ambrose pull each other down and then Barrett pulls them both down at once. With Barrett dispatched, Ambrose, Ziggler and Truth go up at the same time so Stardust dropkicks the ladder out.

The CODY chants mess with Stardust so he throws the ladder over the top to hit Harper in the head for a big knockdown. With no one else up, Stardust pulls out…Exo Atmospheric Starbird, which means a glittery ladder. Barrett breaks a rung off and starts beating people with it, only to have Ambrose knock the ladder onto him. Ambrose and Harper get in the ring with some normal sized ladders but Harper goes simple with a big boot. A catapult sends Ziggler face first into a ladder and Ambrose gets dropped face first onto a ladder in the corner.

Harper puts the ladder around his neck to blast a few people until Truth takes him down. Truth busts out the huge ladder but Barrett breaks it up. Stardust goes up but the ladder isn’t in the right place, meaning Barrett can superplex him down for the huge crash. Ziggler, Bryan and Ambrose go up at the same time with Ambrose being knocked down, allowing him to turn over the ladder to knock both of them down.

That leaves Ambrose to go up but Harper hits a heck of a powerbomb through a ladder bridges between the ring and the barricade. Ziggler grabs a sleeper on Harper, who climbs anyway, until Ziggler pulls him down with a huge Zig Zag. Medics check on Ambrose as Barrett has to pull Ziggler off the ladder into a Bull Hammer.

There’s another one to Stardust and another to knock Truth off the ladder. Bryan breaks that up but Barrett and Ziggler knock him off as well. Bryan’s running knee drops Barrett (which is not how he won the title last year Cole) and, after winning a slugout with Ziggler on top of the ladder (including a nasty exchange of headbutts), wins the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. This worked too, if nothing else for the sake of giving Bryan a prize to let the crowd have something to cheer about for later. Bryan is still one of the most popular stars in the company and it makes sense to start off like this. As for the match itself, it was the wild carnage that a huge ladder match like this should be, with enough people in there to keep things moving. Fun opener, which is the right way to go here. Unfortunately Bryan would have to vacate about a month and a half later and then go on the shelf for three years.

Quick bit of trivia: this is Bryan’s fifth Wrestlemania and the fifth different title he has competed for (United States, World Heavyweight, Tag Team, WWE, Intercontinental). That has to be some kind of a record/one time occurrence.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins. Orton was the future for a long time but then HHH changed his mind and made Rollins the new future. They were both part of the Authority but HHH chose Rollins, meaning Orton was kicked out of the team. This included a Curb Stomp onto the steps to put Orton out. It’s revenge time.

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins, Mr. Money in the Bank, has J&J Security with him. They trade headlocks to start until Orton hits a dropkick. It’s too early for the RKO so Rollins snaps his throat across the top. Orton is right back with right hands to the head but has to deal with Security….by hitting a double hanging DDT to the floor. Yeah that should work, or at least it should as Rollins uses the distraction to hit the suicide dive.

Back in and Rollins gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Orton ducks a sprinting to start the clothesline comeback. A t-bone suplex of all things sends Rollins flying but he nails an enziguri to put Orton on the floor. That means an Asai moonsault can drop Orton again and they’re both down. Back in and Rollins gets caught on top but blocks the superplex attempt.

That’s fine with Orton, who backdrops him down, setting up a high crossbody for two. The hanging DDT plants Rollins again and the RKO connects for two. Security comes in to block the Punt so it’s a pair of RKOs, which allow Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two of his own. Rollins has to roll out of a Phoenix splash so he tries another Curb Stomp, which is LAUNCHED into the air and pulled down into the RKO (that was GREAT and one of the best RKO counters ever) for the pin at 13:16.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty much a Raw main event but dang that ending stayed on the highlight reels for a while, as it should have. They timed it perfectly and Rollins falling down into the inevitable was great. Orton winning is a little odd as Rollins seems to be the future star, but it’s not like losing to Orton is some kind of a career killer.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting and I’m still not sure I know what this is about. They said it wasn’t about WWE vs. WCW, but then Stephanie McMahon insisted that of course it was and you can’t question her, so that seems to be where we are. Or maybe it’s about Sting being the vigilante against the Authority. It’s just a big mess all around, but that’s the best thing that you can do when Sting can barely move.

HHH vs. Sting

Sting gets this big, kind of odd Japanese drum entrance. It certainly looks cool, but I have no idea what the connection to Sting is supposed to be. That’s a bit too cool though, so HHH gets a full Terminator entrance, complete with Terminators rising from the stage, armor for HHH, and a cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger himself. Cole: “Wrestlemania is brought to you by Terminator: Genisys!” This is also a street fight (or at least pinfall/submission only), likely for the sake of things not going south in a hurry.

We get the big staredown to start and the fans instantly deem this awesome. Ok fair enough after the entrances. They stare each other down for a good while to start until Sting nails a shoulder for a knockdown. HHH is back up with a headlock takeover as they are taking it very slowly to start. A shoulder puts Sting down for a change but the crotch chop is enough to bring him back up for a dropkick. There’s the YOU STILL GOT IT chant as we’re somehow three minutes into this already.

HHH punches his way out of the corner as Cole and JBL debate Super Bowls (with Cole somehow saying that the NFL winning two of the first three meant things were even). The facebuster has no effect on Sting but it’s too early for the Scorpion Deathlock. Instead Sting whips him into and over the corner but the Stinger Splash hits the barricade (traditions are fun). JBL says this is where you find out if Sting was ever that good in the first place, because you take shots at WCW whenever you can, a mere fourteen years after the company went under.

HHH hits a delayed vertical suplex and drops the knee for two. We hit the chinlock as commentary still tries to make it about WCW, which is a pretty good illustration of why younger fans don’t watch WWE as much these days (You would have to be……twenty here to have any vague memory of Sting in WCW? Thirty for when he was still good?). HHH comes back with the spinebuster for two but Sting grabs the legs and puts on the Scorpion (not a great one but still better than the awful ones in TNA)….and here’s DX, this time in the form of the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac.

Sting lets go to beat them up and then backdrops HHH out to the floor. That means the big Sting dive, easily the best looking thing that he has done so far (and one of the best in years). Cole: “WE WERE BEGGING TO SEE THAT IN THE MONDAY NIGHT WAR!” Yeah picture lines like that for the whole match. Back in and HHH hits the Pedigree (JBL: “HE LOST TWO WARS!”) for two, giving us the stunned look on the kickout.

HHH busts out the sledgehammer but the NWO (Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash/Scott Hall, all close personal longtime friends of Sting of course) taking their very sweet time, comes out for the save. As weird as it is to see Hogan punching X-Pac, the distraction lets Sting hit the Death Drop for two. We hit the Deathlock as everyone gets in a brawl on the floor (with Nash going down and grabbing his leg, which has to be a rib). HHH finally makes the rope (JBL: “THIS IS US VS. THEM!”) and here is Shawn Michaels to superkick Sting.

That gives HHH a delayed two as the fans deem this awesome. HHH gets the sledgehammer again so Sting backs up, allowing Hall to hand him the baseball bat (that’s a great visual, but I don’t think a wooden bat would have much of a chance). A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another breaks the sledgehammer in half. Sting unloads in the corner and hits the Stinger Splash but a second attempt is knocked out of the air by the sledgehammer for the pin at 18:37.

Rating: C+. I’m really torn on this one as I loved the heck out of it live but egads this doesn’t hold up on another viewing. The huge leaps in logic around the NWO, commentary being a complete nightmare and Sting losing in his big WWE debut (which led nowhere) made this a mess. The nostalgia is enough to carry it, but my goodness they did everything they could to suck the fun out of this.

Post match (and two minutes after the sledgehammer shot), Sting is up to shake HHH’s hand. Cole: “Do you think it has finally been put to bed?” The thing has been put to bed, fallen asleep, woken up and is getting ready for college by this point.

Here’s what’s coming to the WWE Network.

Daniel Bryan (interviewed by a Bushwhackers shirt wearing Maria Menunos) is proud of his win, and is congratulated by Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (who kisses him on the head), Ricky Steamboat (who does a bad Randy Savage impression), Ric Flair (for the WOOING) and Bret Hart, all of whom do a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and says the catchphrase, leaving us to start YESing again. I love these wacky cameos.

Now for something I don’t love: Skyler Grey and Kid Ink. Give us a mini concert of the show’s theme song.

Some troops are watching in Tacoma, Washington.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Not much of a backstory here other than Paige/Lee being wrestlers and the Bellas being….well the Bellas. Nikki and Paige start with the brawl until Nikki grabs the Alabama Slam for two, followed by a forearm to knock AJ off the apron. Brie comes in with a missile dropkick for the same and we hit the chinlock.

The BRIE MODE running knee knocks AJ off the apron again and it’s back to Nikki for the Rack Attack. Paige fights back and knocks the Bellas to the floor for a running flip dive, setting up the hot tag to AJ. Nikki rolls through a high crossbody as Paige and Brie fight on the floor. The Black Widow has Nikki in trouble but Brie makes the save, only to get superkicked by Paige. Another Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:39.

Rating: C-. Another nothing match here, but this one was at least a bit more interesting as it would be AJ’s last match as she walked away after getting one more Wrestlemania payday. The match itself was just above Raw level but it’s so weird to see Paige and AJ these days. They seem like such relics of the past as the Divas Revolution just completely blew them away (even if Paige was part of it) a few months later.

We get a tale of the tape for Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, with Cole saying a supercomputer calculated them. It took a supercomputer to tell us the titles they won, their heights and weights?

It’s time for the Hall of Fame recap and presentation for the stadium. Alundra Blayze pulling the Women’s Title out of a trashcan was a great moment. Also: “With triumphant jubilation, we celebrate his name. Finally the Macho Man is in the Hall of Fame.”

Here’s the class in the stadium:

Rikishi (nice reaction)

Larry Zbyszko (not sure how many people today will care)

Alundra Blayze (just call her Madusa already)

Family of Conor Michalek (for the Warrior Award, which isn’t what Warrior wanted it for but it’s a nice moment)

Bushwhackers (biggest reaction so far, though Butch looks ancient)

Tatsumi Fujinami (I’d say he earned it)

Randy Savage (represented by Lanny Poffo, to a nice response)

Arnold Schwarzenegger (not much of a response)

Kevin Nash (gets the full music entrance)

We recap Rusev vs. John Cena for Rusev’s US Title. Rusev actually beat Cena by knockout at Fastlane so Cena is fighting for a rematch and AMERICA. After Rusev started insulting America, Cena put him in the STF until Lana finally agreed to the title match. I think you know where this is going.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Rusev is defending….and comes out in a Russian tank (where he and Lana allegedly had some rather personal time), complete with the full military band introduction. Yeah we’re not topping that one tonight, or for a long time to come for that matter. Cena gets a Ronald Reagan speech, with clips of great American innovations and sporting moments. The crowd is not exactly thrilled to see Cena here (make your own jokes). They knock each other down for an exchange of early near falls and Rusev gets two more off of a gutwrench suplex.

The Cannonball…mostly connects for two on Cena and it’s time to wave the Russian flag. Cena is back up with some flying shoulders into the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle. It’s too early for the AA but Rusev knocks him down for two more. Rusev’s swinging spin out Rock Bottom gets two but Cena breaks up a superplex attempt. There’s the top rope Fameasser for two more as the LET’S GO LANA chants start up.

Rusev hits the jumping superkick for two, followed by Cena’s tornado DDT for the same. Back up and a jumping knee to the head drops Cena again but Cena picks the ankle into the STF. Lana throws in a shoe, which is enough of a distraction to break the hold and let Rusev hit a fall away slam. Rusev goes aerial with a top rope headbutt (that looked good too) but the kickout frustrates him even more.

The Accolade is blocked and Cena busts out a springboard Stunner of all things, which only gets another RUSEV chant. Another superkick sets up a wheelbarrow faceplant and we hit the full Accolade. This time Cena powers out and drives him into the corner, setting up another STF. Lana gets up for the distraction but Rusev runs into her by mistake and it’s the AA to give Rusev his first loss and Cena the title at 14:32.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time match and the power of AMERICA wins in the end, which is all you can ask for. Cena winning is the right call (I think), though the collective gasp if Rusev had kicked out of the AA would have been great. This would kick off the John Cena US Open Challenge though, which gave us some of the most compelling WWE TV in years so I think we can call it a success.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana as the split seems likely. JBL declares Cena’s win a win for everything that is good as we flash even further back in the 80s.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

Long Kickoff Show recap.

Here’s the Authority (HHH/Stephanie McMahon in this case) to announce the attendance record. Stephanie talks about being eight years old at the first Wrestlemania where her friend Andre the Giant (they pushed the heck out of that around this time) made it feel like a huge show. We hear about how globally available Wrestlemania is and thanks the Authority for making all of this possible.

HHH says he beat Sting tonight and he feels like he beat every fan here too, plus millions around the world. They owned Sting, just like they own everyone in the back and everyone here tonight because the Authority always wins. And here’s the Rock to blow the non-existent roof off of the place. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him.” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because the Rock is an East Bay Boy, as he was born in the East Bay around here.

HHH has two choices: go dress up like Terminator again or have a Wrestlemania Moment right here. The guys go fast to face and HHH talks about beating Rock most of the time, meaning he has nothing to prove. Rock says that just like he left his heart in San Francisco, HHH left his testicles in Stamford, Connecticut. That gets HHH’s jacket off and but Stephanie gets between them and says they made Rock.

Therefore Rock can leave, which he does, by slowly walking around the ring….and finding Ronda Rousey (with Shayna Baszler next to her). Ronda jumps the barricade and gets in the ring with Rock as JBL freaks out about Stephanie being in danger (don’t worry though, because she trained for the armbar and could block it when they had their match, because Stephanie). Rock says he would never hit a woman, but he has a friend who would be happy to.

Stephanie doesn’t think much of Rousey because she is a big fan of hers. Rousey doesn’t look impressed so Stephanie tells Ronda to go sit down and enjoy Wrestlemania like a nice little fan. Rousey: “Any ring I step into is mine.” She tells Stephanie to make her leave and there’s the death stare. Rock stops things to warn Stephanie what that look means. Rock: “That look Steph, means that if you keep running your mouth, she’s going to reach down your throat, and pull your insides out and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.”

After one of my favorite lines ever, and Rock mocking jumping rope, HHH is tired of this. The fight is on and Rousey flips HHH so Stephanie gets in her face, earning herself and arm….well just cranking because of UFC but it’s enough to make her run so Rock and Rousey can pose. This was great and the big WWE welcome to Rousey, but it would be a little while before anything came from it. Till though, awesome segment and you could feel every bit of Rousey’s star power.

We recap Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt. The Streak was broken last year and Undertaker was shaken up, so now Bray wants to be the new face of fear. Undertaker: “I’m not dead yet.” This screams bad idea but let’s do it anyway. Three notes here: I don’t believe this aired on the original broadcast due to time (and I have no notes on it elsewhere) and Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle during the intros. Also, the Peacock version of this actually includes the music, which I never would have expected.

Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray’s entrance is another odd one, as he walks by several scarecrows who come to life and follow him. The entrances are cool of course, but they lose quite a bit in the daylight. They also take the better part of ever because Bray is hurt and Undertaker is Undertaker, though that guitar solo on Bray’s entrance is always great. Also, Undertaker has grown his hair out a bit and put on some muscle for a big improvement.

After about eight minutes of entrances, including Bray looking a little scared once Undertaker actually gets in the ring, we’re ready to go. Bray shouts that this is his and gets booted in the face before the bell. Undertaker strikes away in the corner and wastes no time in starting in on the arm. Old School connects and the fans say Undertaker still has it. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but he lands on his feet and pulls Bray outside as commentary talks about Undertaker being the best ever.

The apron legdrop connects and sets up Snake Eyes but Bray is ready for the big boot. Bray unloads in the corner and manages a running splash for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a ram into the post to keep Undertaker down. Bray is limping pretty badly as Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate, which is broken in a hurry. The release Rock Bottom into the backsplash crushes Undertaker again as commentary thinks this might have been a bad idea.

Sister Abigail takes way too long to set up so Undertaker grabs the throat (Bray’s OH S*** look is awesome) for a chokeslam. The Tombstone connects for two and, after Undertaker is done panicking, Sister Abigail gets the same. Bray spiders up but Undertaker sits up and glares at him with a “boy what are you thinking about” stare, sending Bray crawling back. They slug it out with Bray getting the better of things, but Undertaker counters Sister Abigail into the Tombstone for the pin at 15:12.

Rating: C. It just wasn’t all that good with neither guy looking overly impressive. Undertaker looked WAY better than he did last year, but that isn’t exactly a hard bar to clear. The other problem is that Undertaker is just kind of an old legend here instead of having the Streak be the be all and end all deal. The match was fine enough, but this one isn’t remembered for a reason.

Chris Jericho is going to do a special podcast on the Network (because Steve Austin was out with shoulder surgery) with special guest John Cena.

We recap Roman Reigns (who looks so young here) vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Title. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to continue the rocket push and suddenly was ready for Lesnar. Brock and Paul Heyman didn’t seem to agree and it was time to put Reigns in his place. This felt like a fight instead of a match and that is the only way it should have been billed.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans DO NOT like Reigns here, even as he makes the long entrance. The fans even go along with Paul Heyman’s intro of Lesnar to make the affiliation clear. Reigns charges at him and gets driven into the corner to start. Lesnar is bleeding from the cheek so it’s the first German suplex into an F5 in less than thirty seconds. Lesnar spends longer than that stalking Reigns and pounds away in the corner, setting up the release fisherman’s suplex.

The referee is already asking Reigns if he is sure about this so Reigns slugs away but Brock just stares at him for trying a clothesline. Another German suplex has Lesnar bouncing but Reigns is smiling at him. Some forearms to the back set up a belly to back suplex, allowing Lesnar to debut “SUPLEX CITY B****!” As WWE starts printing the t-shirts, Reigns hits some hard right hands but gets caught in a German suplex.

Reigns smiles at him again so there’s another German suplex to send Reigns flying. Lesnar drapes him over the top and fires off knees, with the fans deeming it awesome. A running forearm knocks Reigns off the apron and into the barricade, with Reigns barely being able to sit up. Back up and Brock charges into a knee, followed by another knee to the face. Reigns kicks him in the face so Brock SMASHES HIM with a clothesline out to the floor.

Lesnar is bleeding from the mouth now as he takes Reigns back inside for another suplex. Brock suplexes him back over the top rope so the crowd starts chanting EIGHT for the number of suplexes. The F5 gets two and Heyman’s eyes bug out as Lesnar smiles. Lesnar takes the gloves off and slaps Reigns in the face but Reigns keeps smiling. That’s too far for Brock, who snaps off more German suplexes. Another F5 gets two and now Lesnar has had it.

They head outside where Lesnar gets posted to bust him open from the forehead as well. Back in and Reigns has the look in his eyes and hits back to back Superman Punches. A third is countered into a German suplex but Reigns fights out and hits a bunch of headbutts. There’s the Third Superman Punch to FINALLY knock Lesnar down, followed by a pair of spears. The third is countered into an F5 to put everyone down…..and here’s Seth Rollins to cash in Money in the Bank and make this a triple threat!

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is still defending. Rollins sends Reigns outside and hits a Curb Stomp on Lesnar. Another is countered into an F5 attempt but Reigns runs in with a spear to Lesnar. Rollins hits the Curb Stomp on Reigns for the pin and the title at 16:43 (plus a “thank you very much” to Reigns).

Rating: A-. This took a lot of time to get going but this was pure gold as soon as Lesnar got mad. It was one great moment after another with both of them giving it everything they had. That’s all you needed it to be and it played perfectly into the idea of a main event fight instead of a match. It’s also a great example of some brilliant booking, as WWE wanted to keep both of them strong and needed a way out. For one of the only times ever, the Money in the Bank briefcase was the perfect choice to get them out of the problem they have. It was an awesome moment to wrap up an outstanding match and easily the best thing on the show.

Rollins celebrates on the stage to a bunch of pyro to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is kind of an odd show as there is nothing truly bad, but aside from the main event and maybe Sting vs. HHH, what is remembered here? It’s one of those Wrestlemanias that is very good on its own but had almost no long term consequences or impact. You get those every now and then but it still makes for a pretty awesome show on its own. This is definitely worth another look and I had a lot of fun with it, as long as you aren’t expecting any game changers.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores

Original: C+

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

2015 Redo: D

2021 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Bar News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Stardust

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: C+

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C-

2021 Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Rusev

Original: B-

2015 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2015 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2021 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

2015 Redo: B+

2021 Redo: B+

Wyatt vs. Undertaker and Rollins vs. Orton have both fallen but it’s still a heck of a show.

Here is the original version if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxxi-2016-redo-surprise/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

As big as HHH vs. Undertaker is, everything pales in comparison to Rock vs. Cena. This was the biggest match since Rock vs. Austin’s heyday and the money it brought in more than validated an entire year spent setting everything up. There’s no way the match isn’t going to be great and everyone was ready to see it. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Primo/Epico vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Primo and Epico (Carlito and Primo’s cousin) are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Primo, Jey and Kidd start things off and you have to tag your partner. Kidd sends Primo to the floor and jumps into a rollup for two. The champs start stomping Tyson gets caught in a DDT for two more. Primo loads up a superplex on Jey but Kidd springboards up to make it a Tower of Doom in a cool spot.

Jimmy and Epico get hot tags and everything breaks down. Jey throws Gabriel up for a Samoan drop but Justin kicks out. Epico gets backdropped over the top and out onto Primo, setting up a dive from Jey. Gabriel moonsaults out onto all three of them, leaving only Jimmy on his feet. Jimmy throws Gabriel back in for a cover, only to have Epico come in for a Backstabber to Jimmy for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: C. Fun tag match here and much better than most of the pre-show matches in recent years. Epico and Primo certainly weren’t great champions by any stretch but there were far worse options out there. This wasn’t meant to revitalize the division or anything but it was very suitable for a quick match to fire the crowd up.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. The show is outside again and the stadium looks amazing.

The opening video shows the paths that Cena and Rock took to get here in a really nice concept. We also see the montage of Wrestlemania moments before focusing on HHH vs. Undertaker as the last of a generation. Just like two years earlier, they’re making no secret of the fact that this is a two match card.

World Heavyweight Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Notice that the Raw and Smackdown names have been dropped as the Brand Split officially ended in August 2011. Sheamus is challenging after winning the 2012 Royal Rumble and choosing to fight Bryan, who won the title by cashing in a Money in the Bank contract at Tables, Ladders and Chairs 2011. Bryan also has his girlfriend AJ Lee with him. The bell rings, Bryan kisses AJ, and it’s a Brogue Kick to give us a new champion at 18 seconds. That fall would haunt Bryan for over a year and indirectly lead to his rise up the card which we’ll get to later.

Team Johnny (as in John Laurinitis, one of McMahon’s longtime yes men) is ready for the ten man tag later tonight. Miz tries to captain the team but they’re not interested in listening. David Otunga (a wrestling lawyer) introduces Johnny in his white suit. Johnny talks about what a big moment this is going to be, just like Austin not submitting and Hogan slamming Andre. There’s no punchline or anything here and it’s just building up the match later. It’s Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy with the winning GM controlling both shows.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane is upset that he shook Randy’s hand last year after a street fight and needs to become a monster again. Cole explained that as Kane made his entrance and it was simple, to the point, and told you everything you need to know. Why is that so hard the rest of the year? The fans chant for Bryan as the sun is starting to set.

Orton pounds him down to start and loads up the elevated DDT (which Cole calls a bulldog), only to get draped over the top rope. A big boot to the face sets up a chinlock as the match slows down a bit. Kane’s side slam gets two more and we hear a weak BORING chant. Orton gets taken down in a vertical suplex and Kane puts on his third chinlock of the match. They get back up and Orton hooks his backbreaker, followed by the elevated DDT (AGAIN called a bulldog by Cole).

It’s Kane up first though and he tries the top rope clothesline, only to dive into the dropkick. The Punt is countered into a chokeslam for two (Do they really need to have finishers kicked out of so often? This is a midcard match, not a main event.) so Kane heads up top. Orton breaks it up and tries the superplex, only to get countered into a super chokeslam to give Kane the pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad and it’s nice to see Orton lose a match after getting dominated and not just nail a quick RKO for the pin. You can tell this is designed to set up a bunch of rematches, which is part of the problem with Wrestlemania: it should be the big ending to a feud, not the start of one. I liked this more the first time around but the chinlocks really hold it back on another viewing.

Santino Marella talks to a cast member from Deadliest Catch and Mick Foley is there eating crabs while talking like a pirate. Mr. Socko and the Cobra make cameo appearances and destroy the crabs until Ron Simmons comes in for his catchphrase.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Show is challenging but more importantly he’s in search of his Wrestlemania moment. Cody had made fun of him for weeks over being a joke at Wrestlemania because in this universe, Wrestlemania XVI where Big Show was in the main event doesn’t exist. Yeah he lost quick but how many main events has Cody been in? Cole makes it even worse by saying Show has won some tag matches but was never involved in the pinfall victory. I guess that quick match last year doesn’t count either.

Cody gets Show to chase him to start but dives into Show’s arms, meaning it’s time for the beating to begin. There are the loud chops in the corner and Show adds a Stinkface to make up for some of the humiliation. Cody comes back with a series of dropkicks, including one to the leg for a smart move.

Show gets his leg cranked as Cole says he isn’t as big when he’s on the mat. As usual, this is inaccurate. Actually Show is the same size but he can’t use it to his advantage. I know it’s stupid but that always gets on my nerves. Show fights up and the Disaster Kick doesn’t even knock him down. Cody tries another but gets “speared” (more like a shoulder block which went very low), followed by the WMD (KO Punch) for the pin and the title at 5:20.

Rating: D. So Big Show has the title now, but I guess the whole Wrestlemania moment is the real prize. It’s not like the title had meant anything in years anyway so that makes as much sense as anything else. It makes more sense than saying being in the main event of a Wrestlemania doesn’t count as a major moment at least.

Video on what it means to be a WWE Diva, which seems to translate to wearing very little clothing and dancing a lot.

We recap the Divas tag match. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Maria Menunos’ (a good looking TV host) Extra when Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix came in and said they should be interviewed. The solution was a tag match of course.

Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Beth is Divas Champion (and has wings on her head for no apparent reason) while Maria has cracked ribs and stress fractures in her feet. A quick rollup gets two for Kelly but her cartwheel into an elbow hits feet to the legs. Eve’s moonsault is broken up and Maria comes in for a double Stinkface. Off to a bodyscissors on Maria until Beth comes in for a bearhug from the side.

Eve tries another dancing moonsault but gets kicked out to the floor, allowing for the tag off to Kelly. The screaming headscissors puts Beth down and a top rope seated senton gets two. Beth’s Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog (actually a bulldog this time) and the tag is made to the still injured Maria. Kelly saves her from getting slammed and Maria rolls Beth up for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: D+. I know Kelly is supposed to be this big deal but her theme song is still about hollering in a club to a hot beat. Then you have the Divas Champion lose to a celebrity, who to be fair was clearly trying. The match could have been worse but the division was just dying at this point and this was great proof. Watchable match, horrible ending. You really can’t have Eve get pinned here? Really? Also: only Maria would be involved with the next Wrestlemania.

Shawn Michaels says this next match will be the end of an era. It’s ironic that he gets to decide which era that will be.

The attendance record is announced.

Jim Ross, now with a goatee, comes out to do commentary.

There’s no recap for the Cell match (if you were watching the show you probably knew the story already) but as I said it’s the final chapter in the story between these three men. HHH wanted one more shot at the Streak (though the way he talked you would think he already broke it) and Undertaker agreed if it was inside the Cell. Shawn is guest referee to add some more drama.

Undertaker vs. HHH

Inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn as guest referee. Shawn takes a quick lap around the stage before coming to the ring. HHH comes out through a miniature set designed like a war helmet and shoulder pads. Undertaker’s hair now now shaved into a mohawk with the first reveal coming here, much to the crowd’s shock. The Cell is lowered to The Memory Remains by Metallica, allowing JR to talk about how the Cell is morally corrupt.

Undertaker slugs him down to start (with carcinogenic right hands according to JR) and HHH can’t hang in a fist fight. They head outside instead with Undertaker backdropping him onto the floor. The announcers talk about how this is the end of an era and we’ll never return to it. Undertaker sends him into the cage as Cole’s latest stat is HHH winning every match in which Shawn is a guest referee. So he’s what: 2 or 3-0?

Back in and the facebuster has no effect on Undertaker and it’s Old School putting HHH down again. The steps off HHH’s head surprisingly don’t draw blood. The apron legdrop keeps HHH in trouble before we get to the real violence. HHH finally gets in a DDT for a breather but the Pedigree onto the steps is quickly broken up. The spinebuster onto the steps works a lot better and Undertaker is in trouble.

HHH walks right into Hell’s Gate from the steps so he lifts Undertaker up (JR: “Sinful strength by HHH!”) into a powerbomb onto the mat for the save. The steps are sent to the floor and it’s time for the chair shots to Undertaker’s back. Shawn tries to pull HHH off but JR accurately says that there are no rules (unfortunately with no strange word choices). Michaels tries to talk Undertaker into quitting (out of sympathy, not cheating) but Undertaker demands that it not be stopped.

That earns him a chair to the ribs and the back for a pretty slow two count. HHH goes to get more weapons and tells Shawn to end it before he does. That means sledgehammer time but Undertaker says keep it going. There’s a sledgehammer shot to the face for two (we’re getting close to that ridiculous point). Shawn breaks up another one to the back of the head to avoid being a murder witness and thinks about calling the match to save Undertaker.

You don’t threaten the Undertaker though so he chokes Shawn out to break it up. That earns him another sledgehammer to the head but there’s no referee. Undertaker is still able to kick HHH low, despite probably having about 18 concussions at once. The Hell’s Gate has HHH in trouble and here’s another referee to take Shawn’s place. A chokeslam gets two so Undertaker chokeslams the new referee (barely getting him above shoulder high).

Shawn gets back up and superkicks Undertaker into the Pedigree for maybe the hottest near fall of all time, sending Shawn nearly into tears in the corner. I totally and completely bought that it was over on that cover. HHH gets the sledgehammer and throws an intervening Shawn to the floor…..and Undertaker sits up with that look in his eye. You can take your Brock Lesnar, your old school Vader, your Mankind and your Mr. McMahon at his craziest. For me, ticked off Undertaker is the scariest thing in wrestling.

The big boot and Snake Eyes set up a Tombstone for a very close two and Undertaker’s adrenaline comes to a sudden stop. They slug it out from their knees and then their feet until a quick Pedigree gets two. Shawn is still on the verge of tears. Undertaker sits up again but falls when he tries to get to his feet. HHH gets the sledgehammer again but Undertaker steps on it before unloading on HHH with a chair.

The chair is bent over HHH’s back and now Shawn has to try to stop Undertaker. All those shots are only good for two and Shawn begs HHH to stop. HHH tries to get the sledgehammer back up but Undertaker easily blocks a swing. Barely able to stand in the corner, HHH fires off a crotch chop as Shawn turns his head. A sledgehammer to the head means it’s time for the straps to come down and the Tombstone finally ends HHH at 30:54.

Rating: A+. What a ride. Those are the first words to come to my head after seeing this again because that went from one end of the roller coaster to another with every kind of emotion you could find in the middle. This is one of the best stories ever told in a match and a perfect way to conclude a four year saga between these three men. I’m glad the Streak didn’t end here, but that superkick into the Pedigree had me ready to believe that it was over. This is an absolute masterpiece and the definition of wrestling as art. There’s nothing left for these three to do and they left it all in the ring. See this if you haven’t before.

Shawn has to pull Undertaker up as HHH is still unconscious. They eventually help HHH out and get him up the ramp where they all hug to truly end this in a show of respect. That’s what the entire story was based on, even if they went to war for years. It was never a war based on hatred and it’s very good that they showcased that at the end.

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night with the Four Horsemen being inducted as a team so Flair could be put in twice. This wound up biting them though as Flair was officially still under contract to TNA so WWE had to send Christian to Slammiversary 2012 as compensation (while Christian was still Intercontinental Champion).

Here’s the Class of 2012: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his children), Ron Simmons, the Four Horsemen (Flair, Arn Anderson, JJ Dillon, Tully Blanchard and Barry Windham. I believe it’s just this incarnation and not the group as a whole), Mike Tyson and Edge.

Heath Slater wants to sing a duet with Florida (“That’s Flo Rida.”) but Rida isn’t interested in any sort of partnership. Slater gets beaten up.

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Teddy: Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, Great Khali, Booker T.

Johnny: David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, The Miz

The winner’s team gets to run both shows. Johnny has Vickie Guerrero and Brie Bella, Teddy has Hornswoggle, Eve Torres, Brie Bella and Aksana (Teddy’s would-be girlfriend). Ryder is fresh off becoming a grassroots hero who won the US Title, only to lose it all (presumably because he isn’t what WWE wanted as a star, as brilliant an idea as that is). Johnny is in a white suit and red tie, making him look like a thin Colonel Sanders. All of the wrestlers (including Captains Otunga and Marella (US Champion)) are in red or blue shirts.

Kofi and Ziggler start (makes sense as they’ve fought literally about thirty times on TV alone over the years) with Kofi grabbing a headlock and bringing in Truth for a double hiptoss. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and it’s off to Drew as Cole and Lawler bicker over who would be the better GM.

Khali comes in for the big chops before handing it off to Booker (a last minute addition to the team) for two off a side slam. Booker gets in trouble though and it’s time for the face in peril (along with Vickie screaming). Mark comes in and throw Booker into the corner before Miz comes in, much to Cole’s delight. Booker fights out of a chinlock as the discussion turns to Vickie’s looks.

The World’s Strongest Slam drops Booker and everything breaks down. A double flapjack drops Khali but Kofi, Ryder and Truth hit triple flip dives to take out most of Team Johnny. Aksana and Vickie brawl which gets the Bellas into it. The hot tag brings in Santino to clean house, including his saluting top rope headbutt.

There’s the Cobra to Miz (Cole: “Oh my God, oh my God.”) but Ziggler breaks it up at two. Ryder comes in and takes down Miz and Ziggler, including a Rough Ryder (leg lariat) to Dolph. Eve gets in the ring for no apparent reason other than to distract Ryder, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Zack at 10:38.

Rating: D+. Big mess here but that triple dive was really cool looking. This was another step towards Ryder’s complete burial after he ran from Kane, was destroyed by Kane, lost his US Title and lost Eve (the woman of his dreams) a few months ago. It was depressing how bad things got for him and he never recovered. As you probably guessed, this was your annual get everyone on the show match.

Eve kicks Ryder low to make sure you get the idea: don’t cheer for people WWE doesn’t pick.

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

Wrestlemania week video.

CM Punk is ready to defend his WWE World Title but Johnny comes up to say the title can change hands on a DQ.

We recap Jericho vs. Punk. Jericho returned again and accused Punk of ripping him off when Punk called himself the best in the world. Punk eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber by knocking Jericho out due to injury without pinning him. Jericho then won a battle royal to earn this shot and started accusing Punk’s family of being a bunch of alcoholics and drug addicts. That’s too much for Punk and now he’s out for blood.

WWE World Title: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Punk is defending if that wasn’t clear and he can lose the title on a DQ, just in case they didn’t hammer the idea in well enough at Wrestlemania XXV. The champ takes it to the mat to start before taking Jericho down again with a knee to the ribs. Jericho gets sent into the corner where he shouts “HOW’S YOUR FATHER” to send Punk over the edge again. Punk beats him down again but the threat of the top rope elbow sends Jericho to the floor.

That’s fine with Punk as he dives onto Jericho, who then asks about Punk’s sister. Punk grabs a chair but opts to kick Jericho in the ribs instead. Just like three years ago, these pauses are killing the flow of the match. A quick dropkick gives Jericho a breather and he suplexes Punk over the top and out to the floor for a big crash. You don’t often see that work. Jericho starts working on the back to set up the Walls with a kick to the spine and a backsplash for two. A double arm crank keeps Punk in trouble until he dropkicks Jericho into the corner.

The running knee in the corner sets up the bulldog but Jericho slams him down instead. Punk has to counter the Walls and gets two off the high kick to the head. The Macho Elbow hits Jericho’s knees though and a Codebreaker puts Punk on the floor. Back in and a GTS out of nowhere gets two (no way a title match ends on the first finisher). Jericho drapes him ribs first over the top rope and the Lionsault gets two. Cole: “Not often you see somebody kick out of the Lionsault.” I don’t remember the last time it pinned someone.

The Walls have Punk in trouble but he makes the ropes as you would expect. A knee to the head staggers Jericho but Punk springboards into another Codebreaker for another two. Punk kicks him down again and tries the GTS (Punk: “BEST IN THE WORLD!”), only to be countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Boston crab) and then the Walls. Punk counters into a small package and then the Anaconda Vice. Jericho counters THAT with knees to the head but can’t hook the Walls again, allowing Punk to hook the Vice (and duck his head this time) for the tap out at 22:20.

Rating: B+. This got so much better once they got away from the stupid DQ stuff (which would be remedied at the next pay per view with an awesome street fight). I really don’t get the thinking behind the DQ idea. I know it’s the evil GM screwing with Punk but it cripples whatever the match could get going. Either let them do the violent stuff that fits the story or just have it be an awesome match like they’re clearly capable of having. This half and half stuff almost never works and this only succeeded because of how good both guys are.

Wrestlemania XXIX is in New Jersey.

Here’s the still mostly new Funkasaurus Brodus Clay to tell us to call our mamas. Brodus calls his own mama and finds out that she’s here, complete with the bridge club. Cue mama and said bridge club (all a bunch of older women (clearly in makeup) and matching dresses) for a massive dance number. This got twelve times the length that Sheamus vs. Bryan had.

Video on G.I. Joe 2, which wasn’t released for over a year due to re-shoots.

After all that, we recap John Cena vs. the Rock. This has been built up for over a year now and both guys have spent so much time heavily insulting each other that it actually is epic, as described by a bunch of legends in the video. Several years back, Cena had been on a radio show where he talked about Rock saying he loved WWE and then leaving. Cena on the other hand was here every single day because this is what he loved more than anything.

This turned into a back and forth war until Rock finally returned over a year ago. This is the match that has been set up by both guys trading huge bombs on the mic with Rock saying Cena wasn’t serious enough and Cena calling Rock out for using wrestling to become an actor. They flat out did not like each other and made that very clear, setting up this match as the biggest in a generation, which it certainly was. The tagline for the match and the show: Once in a Lifetime.

Since we haven’t dragged it out enough, here are Machine Gun Kelly and Skylar Grey to perform the show’s theme song and define the word underdog.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Cena is booed out of Miami the second his music hits. And wait again because here’s Flo Rida to perform two songs and eat up even more time. Of note: he has a bunch of backup dancers, who I’m assuming are the bridge club after a costume change. After that eats up WAY too much time, Rock’s ovation is thunderous. Ignore him having to walk through the posing dancers to look out at the people. They talk trash after the big match intros and we finally get the opening bell, nearly twenty minutes after the video package began.

We get the big lockup and Cena shoves him away. Rock does the same as we’re firmly in Hogan vs. Warrior territory so far. Some quick armdrags and a majistral cradle get two for Rock, sending Cena into the corner with a stunned look on his face. Rock can’t get a Sharpshooter and Cena bails to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena takes Rock’s head off with a clothesline for one and we hit a bearhug on the mat. That goes nowhere so they head to the floor with Rock being dropped ribs first over the barricade. Cena stays on them with a belly to belly and now it’s off to a bearhug. Rock fights back with right hands and the spinebuster but Cena grabs the leg for the STF to break up the People’s Elbow. He can’t get the hold on so it’s a ProtoBomb instead, followed by the Shuffle.

Back up and it’s a double clothesline to give us another breather. Another slugout goes to Rock but he tries his own You Can’t See Me and walks into the AA for two. The Rock Bottom gets the same but Cena comes back with a side slam. The top rope Fameasser gets another two and both guys are spent. Something like a spear (it was supposed to be a spinebuster) sets up the Sharpshooter (with Rock pulling back with his hands instead of his arm), only to have Cena quickly make it to the ropes.

Rock sends him hard into the steps to keep Cena in trouble but he grabs the STF (with almost no torque). The hold stays on WAY too long and Rock starts to fade, even drawing an arm check. Rock finally makes the ropes after about two minutes and grabs a Samoan drop to get a breather.

The AA is countered into a spinebuster (Rock might have said “Yabba dabba” on the way down) and the People’s Elbow for a really close near fall. A catapult of all things sends Rock into the buckle (as opposed to a Buick sending him into it), only to have Rock break up a superplex. Rock goes nuts with a high cross body but Cena counters into an AA for two more. With nothing else working, Cena tries his own People’s Elbow but charges into the Rock Bottom for the pin at 30:54.

Rating: A. Just because it’s not quite as good as the Cell. That was the main event of Wrestlemania. What else can you ask for from these two, especially after all this build and the Rock having one match in eight years? This was almost all about the atmosphere coming in and then they had a great match on top of it. It’s one of the best main events ever and certainly one of the biggest, which is exactly what it needed to be.

So did the right guy win? I really don’t think so the more I look at it. Everything that Cena had said over the year was true: win or lose, Rock was going back to Hollywood to star in another blockbuster so why should he win here? It really doesn’t help Cena either as he got beat by a guy who hasn’t wrestled in eight years, though at the same time I don’t want to imagine how bad the reaction would have been if Rock had lost in his hometown. I would have gone with Cena, though I think I can understand their reasons behind going with Rock. Maybe.

Now for the second iconic image of the show: Rock poses on the ropes and Cena sits on the ramp, totally lost.

Overall Rating: B+. This is almost all about the two main events which ate up nearly half the show when you consider buildup and fallout. Those two matches were both home runs and that’s all you need to make this a good show. Jericho vs. Punk is good but not great….and that’s about the extent of the positives on the show. Everything else is just ok at best but again, nearly two hours of great is more than you get on several months of shows most of the time, which easily makes this a very good show.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: B+

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: B+

The top matches on this card are as good as WWE has done in a long time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/06/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxviii-this-show-got-me-excited-all-over-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6