Monday Night Raw – September 21, 2015: Running On Empty Again

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 21, 2015
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the night after Night of Champions and it seems that we’re heading for Kane vs. Rollins for the World Title at Hell in a Cell. On the same show we’ll be seeing Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar for the last time in a match that was a potential Wrestlemania headliner. As for tonight, there’s also a chance we’ll see the return of the US Open Challenge as John Cena regained the US Title last night. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Wyatts instead of the traditional recap. Bray tried to warn Roman Reigns with words but he just didn’t speak loudly enough. Then he tried to warn Roman with actions but he just didn’t hit hard enough. Then last night he choked the golden idol by the throat and showed that he was right about everyone falling down.

Cue Reigns to say he wants to finish this with Bray, one on one, right now. This doesn’t even need to be a match because they can just have a fight. Harper and Strowman head to the floor and Bray is ready to fight. Reigns takes over with right hands and the corner clotheslines, followed by the Superman Punch.

This brings Strowman and Harper back in but Ambrose charges out, runs by Strowman in a smart move, and fights Harper. A pair of suicide dives have almost no effect on Braun but Reigns gets back up. Unfortunately so does Bray and the Wyatts’ numbers game takes over. This brings out Randy Orton to even things up and the combined forces of a bunch of right hands, a missile dropkick and the Superman Punch finally knock Strowman to the floor, though never off his feet. How nice was it to open with a fight and a return instead of a lot of talking that will only be repeated 95 times later in the night?

We recap Rollins’ two title defenses from last night, as well as Sheamus not being able to cash in due to masked Kane’s return.

Rollins comes in to the Authority’s office and finds a very perky Corporate Kane. The monster says he’s back and asks if Seth got the e-mail. The Authority isn’t here yet but Kane has arranged for Seth to have his rematch for the US Title tonight. This was the most entertaining Kane has been since HELL NO.

Lucha Dragons/Neville vs. Ascension/Stardust

Rematch from last night’s pre-show. Sin Cara and Konor starts with Cara slipping off the top on a springboard attempt. It was just a slip and not a horrible botch but it looked bad. After some stomps from the villains it’s time for a chinlock from Konor. Stardust comes in for a cartwheel, allowing the tag off to Neville. Viktor tries to break up a Red Arrow attempt like he did last night but Neville jumps over him, only to get Disaster kicked out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Neville in the wrong corner with Konor being launched at him for two. Off to the chinlockery for a bit before Stardust puts Neville into an inverted Gory Stretch of all things. Neville finally kicks Konor in the head and makes the tag off to Kalisto. Everything breaks down with Cara running back in for a suicide dive on Konor. Stardust gets dropkicked to the floor and the Salida Del Sol pins Viktor at 10:32.

Rating: C-. The botches really hurt things here and dragged down what could have been a fun six man tag. Sometimes things can get dicey when you try to move too fast. This could have been a lot worse but the Cara botch set the stage for the match. I’m not sure where the feud goes from here, but maybe they both add a fourth for some Survivor Series action.

The limping Rollins comes up to the Authority to ask what they’re thinking about reinstating Kane. They have no idea what he’s talking about, but apparently Kane was allowed to make Cena vs. Rollins again tonight.

Stills of Kevin Owens winning the Intercontinental Title last night.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Owens comes out to do commentary. Bo congratulates Kevin on his win and is thrown across the ring by Ryback. Dallas gets shoved down and a suplex gets two. Cole asks about Owens raking Ryback’s eyes to win the title last night. Owens tells Cole not to believe everything he reads on the internet. Dallas comes back with a kick to the face and a chinlock but Ryback shrugs him off. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock put Dallas away at 3:40.

Rating: D. Just a plot device here and another good use of a jobber. I’m fine with Dallas losing because his character is the kind of person who can pop right back up with a single obnoxious promo. Owens vs. Ryback is a feud that has potential if they go somewhere, which hopefully seems to be a possibility.

Owens goes after Ryback post match but has to run away from a Shell Shock attempt.

Here’s Ric Flair to talk about how proud of a father he is. The fans start chanting THANK YOU RIC but Flair quickly thanks the fans to get this back on Charlotte. The proudest moment of his life wasn’t all his World Titles but rather last night when his daughter won her first Divas Championship. This brings out Team PCB to celebrate. Charlotte has to fight back tears because she’s a Flair.

She’s fought a long way to get here and gained two best friends on the way. Becky makes her laugh every day and Paige is the woman whose footsteps she followed in. Paige takes the mic and says that this is all because of her. Yeah Charlotte won the title last night but Paige won it on her first night. The first time Charlotte defends the title, the Bellas will win it back and everything goes back to normal.

There is no Divas Revolution because Becky is irrelevant, Charlotte is just a placeholder and Team Bad is all flash and no substance. Then you have Summer Rae and Lana who are trying to figure out who to climb on top of next. There’s Nattie, who doesn’t seem like she works here anymore.

Everyone knows why the Bellas are where they are (implying relationships with Cena and Bryan but not actually saying it because Nikki and Cena aren’t a thing outside of Total Divas). Paige says that Charlotte is where she is because of her old man and walks off. Cue the Bellas with Nikki saying that Charlotte is going to lose because she can’t handle the pressure of being Divas Champion. The Bellas really should have been saved for later because the turn didn’t get the chance to sink in but it still worked very well.

Brie Bella vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Brie starts fast with a middle rope dropkick and knocks the champ to the floor. The bad knee from last night gets sent into the steps and Charlotte is in early trouble. There’s a dragon screw leg whip followed by a leg lock as Becky plays cheerleader. A dropkick to the ribs gets two and a chop block puts Charlotte back down again. Off to a half crab for a bit until Charlotte comes up with an enziguri. The neckbreaker and spear set up the Figure Eight to make Brie tap at 6:24.

Rating: D+. Can someone explain the logic of having Charlotte on defense for about 90% of her title win and first match as champion? I mean, she’s considered awesome for her abilities on offense and athleticism so you have her on the mat holding her knee most of the time? Brie is the less talented Bella, which really should tell you most of what you need to know about this match.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry runs him over to start and it’s time for a breather on the floor. A clothesline does the same but Sheamus comes back with the ten forearms. Mark breaks it up at about six or seven but the Brogue Kick puts Mark away at 2:26.

Sheamus says it’s a matter of time until he’s World Champion.

The Authority comes in to see Kane. Instead of asking why they waited an hour to come talk to him, they ask why they didn’t hear from him since he got hurt. Kane brushes it off and says he wanted to make a big impact tonight by making Cena vs. Rollins for the US Title. Stephanie wants Kane to give it back and holds her hand out. Kane high fives her but Stephanie wants the mask. The mask is gone from its case and Kane accuses Stephanie of losing it. Kane is happy to help her look for it though and smiles a lot.

Natalya comes up to see Paige and says Paige isn’t the only one who has been frustrated. The only person standing in Paige’s way has been Paige herself.

New Day/Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler/Dudley Boyz

Before the match, Woods holds up a piece of table in a bag which was apparently removed from his……shall we say nether region. Kofi asks how many tables must be destroyed. Big E. suggests building a wall around Dudleyville to keep those Dudleys away from our people, our values, and our tables. Kofi and Ziggler get things going with Kingston grabbing a top wristlock. Kofi’s leapfrogs set up a monkey flip but Dolph lands on his feet.

Off to D-Von for a legdrop and right hands, followed by the belly to back neckbreaker on Big E. Rusev scampers to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Ziggler dropkicking Big E. but having to scare Woods off the apron, allowing E. to score with a clothesline. Rusev stomps away and it’s time for the rotating stomps, complete with trombone accompaniment.

Rusev comes in so Xavier plays Rusev’s theme music as we hit the chinlock on Ziggler. A back elbow to the jaw drops Ziggler (Woods: “BULGARIAN TRICEP MEAT! WHY DOES ZIGGLER HAVE ZIPPERS AND NO POCKETS???”) and Big E. comes in for an abdominal stretch. Kofi breaks up the hot tag attempt and dropkicks Kofi down for two. It’s back to Rusev for choking as he shouts that Lana is his.

The running DDT finally allows a diving tag to Bubba and everything breaks down. A big boot puts E. down and it’s off to Ray vs. Rusev. Well for all of five seconds as D-Von comes in for a double suplex, followed by Dolph playing D-Von in What’s Up. Ziggler superkicks the trombone out of Woods’ hands (thankfully Summer makes the catch) but turns into a superkick from Rusev for the pin at 14:12.

Rating: B-. Oh man Woods gets better every week. This is what I’ve been talking about with comedy in wrestling: you can tell that these guys have been told to go out there and do whatever they think is funny and they’re running with it. It’s a different style than what WWE decides is funny and it makes for something much more entertaining. The day that trombone (seriously, they got a trombone over. I can’t get past that.) gets broken, which better not be for at least another four months, is going to be glorious.

We recap Kane’s odd antics throughout the night.

Natalya vs. Naomi

Both girls flip up to their feet to start until Naomi kicks Natalya in the face for two. We hit an early chinlock as Paige is shown watching in the back. Back up and Natalya makes her comeback, including a discus lariat (Me: “JBL is going to say shades of her daddy.” JBL: “SHADES OF HER DADDY!”) but a Sasha distraction lets the Rear View end Natalya at 3:46.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we got Natalya back for this mess. There’s a chance this leads to her teaming with Paige under their common issue of being held back. It’s worked for less talented people before so why not these two also. The match was nothing special but it’s cool to see at least one team sticking around.

Rollins asks the Authority about the plan for tonight. HHH gets all serious and tells Seth to worry about Cena because they’ll take care of Kane. This has been another moment where HHH’s emotions change on a dime and it’s considered totally normal.

Cesaro vs. Big Show

Rematch from Smackdown which isn’t important enough to mention. Cesaro gets chopped out of the air to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Show launches him across the ring as this is a total squash so far. The Final Cut sets up a chinlock until Show misses an elbow. Cesaro starts his comeback and breaks up the chokeslam. Show is knocked to the floor for a European uppercut, only to catch Cesaro’s cross body off the announcers’ table and drive Cesaro into the post. Back inside and Cesaro suplexes Show from the apron back inside, only to have Show KO Cesaro for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. I know WWE says they’re making movies. This must be where they show the trailers over and over again (because this is the same ending as the Smackdown match) and then expect us to see a movie where we know the ending because it’s a sequel to the wreck of last year’s Royal Rumble and EVERY MATCH THESE SHOW AND LESNAR HAVE HAD IN LIKE TEN YEARS. Of course there was no one in the back that you could have take this loss instead of Cesaro too. No one. Not Swagger or anyone, who is even more like Lesnar than Cesaro. Typical WWE.

Post match Show says he’s going to knock Lesnar out and pin him like he did in 2002. For some reason this takes like three minutes.

We recap the Wyatt Family/Orton/Ambrose/Reigns segment from earlier.

Harper says he hears Bray’s voice in his head. Bray taught him to learn from his mistakes but Orton never learned that lesson. Strowman talks about skinning a snake and drinking its blood. Bray says Randy will fall like everyone else. It’s amazing how much better this team is when Bray isn’t losing every other week.

US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Cena is defending. Rollins jumps the champ during the intros and gets an early two. Some right hands have Cena in trouble. Like, way more trouble than a sneak attack and some right hands should have him in. The Pedigree is countered and an enziguri gets two. Cena comes back with that big clothesline that he uses when he needs to make a comeback but the announcers are too busy talking about the Kane story to notice. Seth escapes the AA and scores with a DDT for two.

Back with Seth putting on a chinlock, followed by a shot to Cena’s face. Cena comes back with the usual but Rollins bails to the floor after the Shuffle. John throws him back in but a superplex is broken up, allowing Rollins to get two off a low superkick. We hit the STF on Cena but he muscles his way up for the counter.

The Pedigree is countered with a catapult into the corner and Cena pulls him off the middle rope with an electric chair. They counter finisher attempts until the Buckle Bomb sets up a Falcon’s Arrow for two on Cena. Cena grabs a quick STF but Rollins grabs a rope even faster. A Five Star Frog Splash gets two on Cena but he rolls through into the AA for the pin to retain at 15:38.

Rating: B. I would have had a lot more fun with this match if I hadn’t seen it a day ago. Also if there was any sort of a chance that Cena was going to lose. Thirdly, was it really necessary to have the World Champion lose a second match clean in two days? I know it’s Cena, but stop having that happen. Now let’s get to the obvious Demon Kane moment.

Post match Corporate Kane pops up on screen and says everyone is coming for the title. People Rollins wouldn’t even imagine. Like the people from his worst nightmares. Cue the demon Kane through a hole in the ring to drag Seth under. Yes they’re REALLY doing this again.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off with so much promise and then, as is way too often the case, it died about halfway through. Raw runs out of steam way too often these days and it really is just because of that third hour. The night after a pay per view is really rough because you’re looking at six hours of TV in just over a day. It’s too much and drains way too much out of the fans when they’re asked to watch it. The first hour carries this show, but they need to find a way to make this three hour work, because the fans are going to go away more and more with this much TV time to sit through.

Results

Neville/Lucha Dragons b. Ascension/Stardust – Salida Del Sol to Viktor

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

New Day/Rusev b. Dolph Ziggler/Dudley Boyz – Superkick to Ziggler

Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View

Big Show b. Cesaro – KO Punch

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Night of Champions 2015: Night Of People Really Overachieving

Night of Champions 2015
Date: September 20, 2015
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the definition of a B level pay per view but there are some interesting stories to bolster things up between Summerslam and Survivor Series. The big story tonight is Seth Rollins defending both the United States and WWE World Titles against John Cena and Sting respectfully. Other than that we’ll get to find out who Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose’s partner is against the Wyatt Family. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Stardust/Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons/Neville

Stardust and Neville have been feuding for a few weeks now and the teams were brought in to make the battle even bigger. Konor easily counters Cara’s sunset flip with some choking but Cara comes back with a spinning cross….headbutt to the arm. Off to Stardust vs. Kalisto with Konor getting in a cheap shot to help his partner. With the announcers debating whether the Ascension are Stardust’s henchmen, Kalisto headscissors Stardust down and all six come in for a standoff. The bad guys are sent to the floor with the Dragons hitting stereo suicide dives and Neville adding an Asai moonsault as we take an early break.

Back with Viktor shouldering Kalisto into the corner to take over. Stardust comes in and works on the arm before it’s back to Viktor, who puts Kalisto on top. You don’t put a luchador on the top rope though as he hits a great looking hurricanrana and makes the tag off to Neville. We hit the series of kicks and a middle rope Phoenix splash gets two. Stardust’s Disaster Kick misses and Neville goes up top, only to have Stardust shove Viktor into the corner. Neville staggers into the Queen’s Crossbow for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C-. Fine enough match here as Neville got to come in and clean house while the feud gets to keep going for another month or so. They’re letting this one fly under the radar a bit and it’s giving everyone involved something to do. Above all else it lets them do something unique instead of wasting time on a nowhere feud.

Opening video: “Tonight is a night of champions.” Dang you mean they canceled Jackpot Bowling with Milton Berle? The main people on the roster tonight talk about how big the show is before going into a video on Rollins’ two challengers.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Kevin Owens

Ryback is defending and this could go either way. Owens just decided he wanted the title one night and has been messing with Ryback ever since. The champion comes out second which never sits well with me. Ryback starts fast and wants Owens to bring it on. Kevin charges at him but gets gorilla pressed out to the floor. Back up and Owens sends Ryback arm first into the post, which takes away a lot of Ryback’s power game. Owens, the big crowd favorite here, slowly pounds Ryback down before sending the bad arm into the buckle again.

We hit the armbar on the champ for a bit before he fights up with a powerslam. A spinebuster gets two for Ryback and he scores with the Meathook, which Cole identifies as a regular clothesline. Well to be fair it was off the ropes instead of from the corner. The Shell Shock doesn’t work as the arm gives out and Ryback goes arm first into the post again. Owens’ armbar doesn’t work as Ryback powers him up into the Shell Shock again, only to have Kevin rake the eyes and roll him up for the pin and the title at 9:30.

Rating: C+. Set the injury up, pay the injury off in the ending, give a young guy a title. I have no complaints off this one and the match was fun in the process. Owens winning with an old school cheating tactic makes it even better. This was more fun than I was expecting and I’m very pleased with the result.

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar is announced for Hell in a Cell. Well that’s quite the main event.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev.  These two had been feuding along with Lana and Summer Rae respectfully, but now that Lana is on the shelf, Ziggler bought Summer some earrings and wasn’t clear on what his intentions were.

Rusev is livid at Summer.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph has long tights now. Ziggler scores with a quick dropkick to knock Rusev to the floor but he comes back in for a shot to the ribs and a chinlock. As this is going on, we get a nice discussion of the Divas keeping diaries. Ziggler’s sleeper doesn’t work as Rusev throws him outside for a ram into the apron. An ugly small package gets two for Dolph but Rusev slams him back down, followed by a chinlock.

A WE WANT LANA chant fires Dolph up and he’s able to avoid a charge, sending Rusev into the buckle. Ziggler’s Fameasser attempt doesn’t work and Rusev’s swinging Rock Bottom gets two. Rusev’s knee hits the buckle as well, setting up the Fameasser for two more. A kick to the head has Ziggler in even more trouble but he comes back with the sleeper as this match just keeps going.

Now the superkick gets two for Rusev and he can’t believe it was just a near fall. The Accolade doesn’t work and Ziggler comes up with a mostly missed superkick for two of his own. Summer gets on the apron and is accidentally knocked into the ring, earning her an ejection. She throws in a shoe and hits Rusev by mistake, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here and I lost interest about halfway through at best. This feud is all about the drama and not the in ring action because we were supposed to have the mixed tag until Lana’s wrist injury screwed everything up. Rusev getting pinned used to be a huge deal and now it’s happened twice in a week.

Summer looks terrified.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Dudley Boyz

New Day is defending and already lost to the Dudleyz in a non-title match. Before the match, New Day declares that our furniture is in danger. After praising their mentor (Jake from State Farm) it’s time for a SAVE…THE TABLES chant until the Dudleyz cut them off. I love the Dudleyz but I could watch New Day for hours. D-Von and Kofi get things going as Woods starts a trombone recital.

The Dudleyz scare the champs out to the floor until it’s time for Bubba vs. Big E., the latter of whom tells the old man to go home. Big E. takes over and goes up top, only to get superplexed down for two. Woods: “BUBBA! DO NOT DO THIS!” The distraction works as Kofi is able to dropkick Bubba in the back to take over. We hit the rotating stomps (complete with more tromboning), followed by a splash on the apron to give E. two.

New Day starts some double teaming with Kofi firing off rights and lefts, meaning Woods plays Gonna Fly Now (theme from Rocky). I haven’t been this entertained in a long time. Kofi springboards into a Bubba Bomb, setting up the hot tag to D-Von. House is quickly cleaned and the reverse 3D drops Big E. The regular 3D looks to finish Kofi but Woods comes in for the DQ at 10:16.

Rating: B. The wrestling may not have been the best in the world but Xavier Woods and that trombone is as pure gold as anything I’ve seen around this company in YEARS. The entire group is one of the funniest ideas in a long time and goes to show you what can happen when you find a hot act. Great stuff here and the rematch should be fun.

Post match Big E. loads up a table, only to have the Dudleyz fight back and 3D Woods through the table. JBL: “It’s the night the music died.”

We recap Nikki Bella’s title reign and breaking the record on Monday.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte

Nikki is defending and can lose the title via DQ or countout. Charlotte takes her into the corner to start but a shoulder to the ribs puts Charlotte on the floor. She tweaks her knee on the landing though and Nikki has a target. A kick to the knee staggers Charlotte again and Nikki powerbombs her off the apron for a big thud. Back in and Nikki puts on a leg lock as the announcers thankfully acknowledge that the Women’s Title and the Divas Title are two different titles with two different lineages.

A snap suplex sends the knee into the ropes again and Nikki does some pushups. Nikki slams the knee into the mat a few more times for two each and wraps it around the post. Brie and Alicia try to help on a half crab but Nikki yells at them for almost getting her disqualified. Makes sense. Charlotte comes back with a neckbreaker but the knee gives out again. There’s a spear though and the Figure Eight ends Nikki’s reign at 13:42.

Rating: B-. Uh well um ok then. They were getting somewhere with that knee and then Charlotte just popped up and won the title. I’m glad the title reign is finally over but it was such a strange way to get to the ending. Still though, really good match here and the best WWE Divas match in a very long time.

Ric Flair comes out to cry his eyes out over the title win.

Owens denies cheating and is happy to finally have a prize. It’s no secret how great he really is. Nice line there.

The kickoff panel chats for a bit.

Team PCB asks Ric if he knows a place to party in Houston. You know, he just might. Ric looks so genuinely proud here and it’s really cool to see.

We recap the Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose. These teams have been fighting on and off for over a year and now the Wyatts have the monster Braun Strowman with them. Reigns and Ambrose have a mystery partner to help fight Strowman.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/???

A fan tries to run in and Wyatt asks if that’s their guy. The mystery partner is……CHRIS JERICHO. Well it’s not Rowan or Kane so this is totally acceptable. Ambrose and Harper get things going with the good guy taking over before it’s off to Jericho for the required YOU STILL GOT IT chant. Reigns and Ambrose come in to try their luck on Strowman but he shoulders both of them down.

Jericho tries to dive onto Braun but the glorified cruiserweight is caught and thrown out to the floor for his efforts. Strowman throws Ambrose in for a beating before tagging off to Bray. This works a bit better for Dean as he grabs a neckbreaker, allowing for the tag off to Reigns. Harper comes in with his right hands and sitout powerbomb, only to have Roman fire off his corner clotheslines. Strowman offers a distraction though and Harper scores with a superkick for two.

The Wyatts take turns on Roman with Bray sending him to the floor for a suicide dive. Reigns finally gets in an elbow to the jaw, allowing the tag off to Jericho. Chris dropkicks Braun off the apron in a smart move and slaps the Walls on Bray until Harper makes the save. Dean comes in and both Dirty Deeds and Sister Abigail are countered.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s off to Reigns vs. Strowman with the Superman Punch FINALLY connecting. It takes three of them to stagger Braun but Dean’s top rope elbow puts him down. Jericho tags himself in for a Lionsault for two with Braun launching him off the cover. Everyone else brawls at ringside so it’s that spinning Big Ending from Strowman, followed by the choke to knock Jericho out at 13:36.

Rating: C+. This felt like a way to keep the feud going and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love the idea of two teams feuding because that’s what they do no matter what. Jericho coming in there to lose is fine and it’s a cool idea to build up to Roman finally knocking off the giant. Good stuff here and a fun match.

Jericho intentionally bumps into Ambrose as he leaves. Dean seems pleased with Jericho’s moxie.

The Authority gives Rollins a pep talk. Sheamus comes in and says he’s ready too.

We recap Seth Rollins’ road to tonight, starting with winning the World Title at Wrestlemania (in case you haven’t had that beaten into your head enough yet), being the Authority’s attention starved child, and then winning a second title from John Cena at Summerslam. Oh and his statue was destroyed in a very novel move.

US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Seth is defending of course. We get the big match intros here and Rollins is in the white attire again. The fans are all over Cena to start and things get even worse with Rollins charging into an elbow for two. Rollins comes back with a kick to the ribs and some trash talk as he seems to be trying to conserve energy.

We hit an early sleeper on Cena before Cena is put in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp in an awesome looking spot. Cena’s rollup gets two and he sidesteps a splash (which looked very Stingy) in the corner. He takes too long setting up the Shuffle, allowing Rollins to try a kick to the head, only to have Cena pull him to his feet into a sunset bomb for two. The AA is countered but Cena hurricanranas his way out of the buckle bomb to send Seth into the corner instead.

Seth flips out of the AA again and the low superkick gets two for the champ. They’ve skipped the opening part of the match here and have went straight to the back and forth bombs. Seth misses the frog splash and the Eddie chants pipe up, even though it was more like a Five Star Frog Splash. Cena comes back with the tornado DDT for two and goes up top, only to have Rollins run the ropes into a superplex.

That’s not enough though as he floats over into a regular suplex for two, leaving both guys spent. Another AA is countered into a rollup but Seth muscles Cena up into a buckle bomb for two. Back up and Rollins rolls through a cross body to try an AA on Cena. Thankfully they only tease the finisher stealing as Cena counters into a reverse suplex, followed by the AA for the pin and the title at 15:43.

Rating: A-. As repetitive as these two have become, this was one of their better matches because they just went straight for the big spot trading instead of trying to do anything slow paced. Rollins wanting to end it fast made the most sense and it was a better match as a result. Cena getting the US Title back makes the most sense and we might even get the Open Challenge back as a result. Good stuff.

Rollins tries to bail but Cena gives him another AA on the floor and here’s Sting.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: Sting vs. Seth Rollins

Sting goes right after him to start and quickly sends the champ out to the floor. They’re pretty clearly going for the brawl here as Sting sends him into the barricade. Rollins tries to get away over the barricade but sting pulls him back to the table. Seth gets in his first offense by shoving Sting through the table before grabbing his title. He changes his mind about leaving though and comes back to slam Sting onto the broken table.

Back in and a falcon’s arrow gets two on Sting and Seth is starting to get frustrated. There’s a buckle bomb for two. The Pedigree is countered and Sting breaks up a springboard by shoving Seth into the barricade for the second time. Two Stinger Splashes crush Rollins so he heads outside, only to have Sting dive off the top with a cross body. Back in and the Death Drop gets two out of nowhere with Rollins having to put his foot on the bottom rope.

Another Stinger Splash sets up right hands in the corner but Seth counters into another buckle bomb. Seth tries a clothesline but Sting collapses to the mat. The doctor checks on Sting as he gets back up and it’s going to continue. Sting counters the Pedigree into a weak Deathlock. Thankfully Seth is quickly in the ropes and comes back with an enziguri to the bald spot. The Pedigree is countered into another Scorpion attempt but Seth rolls him up to retain at 15:13.

Rating: B+. This was WAY better than it had any right to be with the ending making enough sense. I really didn’t need to have Sting as the World Champion because, whether WWE wants to admit it or not, he’s one of the biggest stars ever and doesn’t need this title to validate himself. Good match though as Sting pulls another rabbit out of his hat. Though hopefully not by the ears because that’s just cruel.

Sheamus comes out immediately and it’s on! Rollins misses a belt shot and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick but here’s Kane in the mask to chokeslam Rollins. Sheamus wants Kane to give him one more but Kane chokeslams Sheamus instead. A tombstone to Rollins ends the show. Yes seriously, it ends with Kane standing tall and likely setting up the title match inside the Cell.

Overall Rating: A. Well that worked. This was another show that completely overachieved and had no business being nearly as good as it was. This goes up another notch if they somehow got rid of that stupid briefcase and weren’t setting up Kane inside the Cell for the title, but that match had to happen at some point. Rollins is ready to be the star of tomorrow and it’s going to happen one day soon. Really fun show here with only the Rusev vs. Ziggler match not being good to awesome.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Ryback – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev – Zig Zag

Dudley Boyz b. New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered

Charlotte b. Nikki Bella – Figure Eight

Wyatt Family b. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Chris Jericho – Choke to Jericho

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment

Seth Rollins b. Sting – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – September 17, 2015: Bring Back Livewire

Smackdown
Date: September 17, 2015
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan

It’s the final show before Night of Champions 2015 and that likely means we’ll be focusing on the midcard matches. If the past few Smackdowns before pay per views are any indications, that means it’s likely going to be about Ambrose/Reigns vs. the Wyatts while they tease who the third man might be. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sting’s two matches on Monday, neither of which were important enough to announce more two and a half hours early.

Here’s Seth for his opening statement. When he defends the US Title this Sunday, he’s going to remind John Cena of what happened to him at Summerslam. Sting is going to get what’s coming to him on Sunday. As for Sheamus, tonight he and Rollins will team up to face Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose and Rollins will show Sheamus what happens to him if he tries to cash in.

This brings out Sheamus to ask if Seth sees him as a friend or an enemy. Rollins agrees with the fans’ chants of YOU LOOK STUPID but Sheamus demands that they respect the hawk. Sheamus says the exact same things he’s said for three weeks now and Rollins smirks it off. Nothing new here and I don’t buy the threat of a cash-in on Sunday. They do this every fall and it hasn’t happened in years.

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Paige/Becky Lynch

Becky hammers Naomi in the face to start and knocks her into the corner for the tag off to Banks. Sasha quickly fights back and slams Becky on the back of her head as we take an early break. Back with Becky in trouble in the corner as Banks jumps down onto her ribs. Naomi does the same before it’s back to Sasha for an abdominal stretch. Basic psychology here so far. Becky gets away and makes the tag off to Paige for her assortment of superkicks and knees to the face. Becky pulls Sasha off the apron but distracts her partner by mistake, allowing Naomi to small package Paige for the pin at 9:02.

Rating: C. The story continues to build to Paige turning on her teammates and blaming them for all of her troubles. This was a better match than most from the Divas because they were working on a body part instead of just doing all their spots. It’s the difference between having a match instead of having a collection of moves.

Stardust and the Ascension are ready for Neville and the Lucha Dragons on Sunday’s pre-show. Simple promo to build up a match.

Kofi Kingston vs. D-Von Dudley

The SAVE THE TABLES signs are back! Before the match, Xavier wants to talk about a special woman: Mother Nature. Big E.: “She’s a bad mother!” Woods: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” They have a petition on a clipboard (Woods: “That’s like a mini table!”) to save the tables and want the Dudleyz to sign right now. Kofi wants us to know that only we can prevent table poaching. D-Von isn’t interested in signing and beats Kofi down in the corner. Big E. pulls out a table but D-Von throws Woods inside. The distraction lets Kofi grab a rollup with tights for the pin at 1:17.

New Day runs off with the table.

We recap Dolph Ziggler giving Summer a present on Raw. Brennan says it was a pair of earrings, which wasn’t clear on Raw.

Recap of Nikki retaining the title via DQ on Monday, thereby breaking the record.

Team Bella is preparing for the Bellabration. They have 298 bottles of champagne ready for them. Nikki is proud that Kim and Kanye are coming but there needs to be some non-alcoholic drinks for Kim. Brie and Alicia don’t seem pleased with her demands.

We recap the showdown between Reigns/Ambrose and the Wyatts on Monday.

Big Show is on his way to the ring for a match when Miz hands him a notebook with something inside. Show looks at whatever is in there, gets annoyed, and throws the book away.

Cesaro vs. Big Show

Cesaro hits a pair of quick dropkicks to knock Show into the corner but Show chops him back down. Another chop is countered into an armbreaker over the ropes in a unique idea. Cesaro starts cranking the arm across his shoulder but Show throws him down to take over again. Show stands on the knee against the ropes as Booker talks about his Top Five. I’ve missed that thing, though I have no idea why. We hit a leg lock on Cesaro (think an ankle lock but with Show’s arms around the shin and knee instead of the ankle and foot) but he quickly rolls out.

The uppercuts in the corner stagger Show and a high cross body gets two. Another running uppercut to a kneeling Show gets the same and Cesaro tries the Crossface while Show is on his knees. Booker thinks it’s an abdominal stretch because he’s not very smart on commentary. The Neutralizer is countered as Cesaro flips out of a backdrop but he tweaks his knee on the landing. Show KO’s Cesaro for the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to but the ending hurts it a bit. I guess it’s time to make Big Show look good before he gets squashed by Brock Lesnar in Madison Square Garden because we’re supposed to forget Brock mauling him at the Royal Rumble last year. Oh and well done on making sure Cesaro’s push is stopped cold, because there was no one else that could do this job.

Renee Young, in a leather jacket, asks Ambrose and Reigns who their partner is on Sunday. Reigns says they have a partner but they can’t say because they know Bray will be on him. Whoever it is, it was Dean’s idea. They’re ready to get momentum tonight before going to war on Sunday.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler attacks with right hands to start but eats a big forearm to the face. Kevin avoids a dropkick and hits his backsplash for two. It’s already time for the trash talking, followed by countering Dolph’s running DDT into a regular one. We take a break and come back with Ziggler sidestepping a charge to send Owens into the post. A bunch of clotheslines set up the big elbow for two on Owens as they’re not exactly doing anything beyond basics here.

Now the running DDT gets two more and Owens stumbles out to the floor. Ziggler tries to slide to the floor after him but gets caught in a fall away slam into the barricade. Owens throws him into the timekeeper’s area for a nine count with Ziggler diving in before ten. Kevin superkicks him back to the floor and loads up the apron bomb but here’s Ryback for the DQ at 11:07.

Rating: D+. I was bored for the most part here and the ending didn’t help things. They were just doing the basics here and that’s not really enough to get me interested in a match. I’m glad to see Owens win again though while Ziggler doesn’t get pinned, proving that you can protect both guys and not have them limping into their pay per view matches. Good booking to a lame match.

No one has shown up to the Bellabration.

Connor’s Cure video.

Nikki tries to have the Bellabration but no one has shown up. Brie and Fox go off to fix it when Team PCB comes in. Charlotte talks some smack but the three leave without doing anything. Adam Rose, now in glasses, comes in and rips on the party. Nikki throws her cake and hits Brie and Fox. This was even less entertaining than it sounds.

Summer comes up to a tired Dolph and asks about the earrings. He tells her that sometimes a rose is just a rose, but sometimes it means more. Summer is confused.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Seth Rollins

Rollins and Ambrose get things going but do nothing before Sheamus gets the tag. We have to wait some more though as Sheamus rolls outside to yell at the fans for calling him stupid. He’s very sensitive you see. Dean finally gets to punch Sheamus a few times before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. Reigns sends Rollins to the floor and the Shield guys stand tall as we take a break.

Back with Seth holding Ambrose in a chinlock, followed by a belly to back suplex backbreaker for two. Sheamus comes in for a suplex into a slam and a lot of trash talking. It’s back to Seth for a lot of stomping as Seth and Sheamus don’t seem thrilled with tagging in and out. Off to an Irish chinlock until Dean fights up and takes Sheamus to the floor with a hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house and it’s time for all those clotheslines. Seth escapes a powerslam but his low superkick is countered into a rollup.

That’s not enough for Reigns as he lifts Seth up into a powerbomb The threat of a Superman Punch sends Seth to the apron but he comes back in with a chop block and the low superkick. Sheamus reaches out for a tag but drops down to the floor instead. Seth grabs the briefcase but tags Sheamus in anyway. Sheamus takes the case right back, only to eat the suicide dive from Ambrose. Back in and the Superman punch and Dirty Deeds give Ambrose the pin at 16:51.

Rating: C. This was your standard main event tag as they continue to try to build up towards the six man on Sunday. It should be interesting to see who the partner is, but I have a bad feeling it’s going to be Kane, because we need more Kane in our lives you see. Not a bad match though and Sheamus vs. Rollins is an interesting tease, though I don’t think it’s going anywhere.

Post match a Wyatt video pops up showing the destruction of Orton and Jimmy Uso. Bray and company come on screen to ask who would be foolish enough to join the fight on Sunday. Not that it matters as they will all fall down.

Overall Rating: C. Well let’s see. The promos were mediocre. The wrestling was mediocre. The build to Sunday was mediocre. What else can I do here other than call it an average show? It’s the standard Smackdown: it’s a decent enough way to kill two hours but you wouldn’t miss a thing if you didn’t see it. I’ve never been one to say that Smackdown should be canceled, but if this is all they can do with it, there’s no need to have Smackdown around.

Results

Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Paige/Becky Lynch – Small package to Paige

Kofi Kingston b. D-Von Dudley – Rollup with a handful of tights

Big Show b. Cesaro – KO Punch

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ryback interfered

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus/Seth Rollins – Dirty Deeds to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – September 7, 2015: They Certainly Got The Labor Part Right

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.

Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.

Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.

Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.

Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.

Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.

Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.

That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.

Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.

We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.

Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.

Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.

There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.

Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.

Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.

Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!

Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.

Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.

This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.

Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.

Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.

Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz

Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.

Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.

Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?

Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.

John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins

A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.

Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.

Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.

This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor

Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando

Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout

John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 3, 2015: I Approve Of These Developments

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2015
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

This seems like it’s going to be another midcard heavy episode as the main event players, save for the champion, who is arguably the lowest of the three people involved in the story, who is known to slum it here on Smackdown. The only major event announced is Lana and Dolph Ziggler appearing on MizTV. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s New Day to continue their SAVE THE TABLES campaign. Woods: “A table is a terrible thing to waste.” Kofi calls tables the backbone of human achievement and thinks we wouldn’t be here without hard working tables. The pilgrims and Indians had the first Thanksgiving at a table. The Declaration of Independence was written on a table. Walter Cronkite announced the moon landing while sitting at a table. Above all that though: New Day signed their WWE contracts at a table. Kofi: “I remember that!”

The Dudleyz don’t respect tables but we can all change that. A Save-The-Tables clap starts up but here are the Dudleyz to interrupt. We see a clip of Woods going through a table and Bubba says history is going to repeat itself. This brings out the Prime Time Players who say the Dudleyz have to earn their keep. You mean like by beating the champs a few days ago? Bubba says they’re here to put people through tables and win championships. Titus has two tickets to send them back to Dudleyville and it’s time for a match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Prime Time Players

New Day is on commentary and Woods wants to know why Titus wants to send the Dudleyz back to where they live. That’s not a great gift. D-Von slams Young down and hits that twisting elbow to the jaw of his. A lot of trash is talked and it’s time for a break. Back with Big E. doing his reporter voice as it’s off to Bubba vs. Young. Woods only sees half of Bubba due to all the camouflage and calls the Dudleyz table poachers. Soon New Day will have heavy heads because they’ll be wearing the crown that makes them the greatest of all time.

The reverse 3D gets two on Young but he enziguris Bubba for a breather. New Day starts a SAVE THE TABLES dance as Titus comes in off the hot tag. Titus cleans house as Woods describes him as a German Sheppard that ate too many stale potato chips. Bubba elbows O’Neil in the jaw and it’s 3D for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. New Day continues to be one of the most entertaining things WWE has come up with in years. The key thing to their comedy: it’s clearly not scripted. It’s obviously the three of them just riffing on what they’re seeing and having fun with it, which makes the whole thing that much funnier. The match itself was fine too as the story is simple yet effective. That’s often better than something in depth where things get too bogged down by ideas.

Kofi slaps D-Von in the back of the head as New Day leaves.

Post break it’s time for a New Day trombone dance party, but Renee Young tells them they’re facing Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose tonight. Woods immediately plays a sad note on the trombone.

Stardust vs. Neville

No match as the Ascension of all people jump Neville during his entrance. Stardust says Neville is flying too close to the sun and the Ascension are the new conniving cohorts. The Fall of Man leaves Neville laying. Welcome to the Cosmic Wasteland. I heartily approve of this development.

Cesaro is talking about his match with Sheamus tonight when Sheamus interrupts. Tonight, Cesaro will be good but not good enough, just like always as he disappoints the Cesaro section one more time. Cesaro’s big comeback: Sheamus does look stupid up close.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Cesaro has taped up ribs from going into the announcers’ table on Monday. Sheamus bails to the floor to start and tells the fans that he doesn’t look stupid. It’s quickly back inside with Cesaro clotheslining him down and MESSING WITH THE MOHAWK. A suplex drops Sheamus with the ribs having no sign of injury whatsoever. Sheamus sends him hard into the corner though and the ribs are suddenly in agony as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on a chinlock with a knee in Cesaro’s back.

They slug it out from their knees and Cesaro takes over with European uppercuts. A dropkick knocks Sheamus off the top and out to the floor as Lawler isn’t sure how the ribs are holding up. Cesaro’s big running European uppercut knocks Sheamus into the barricade and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body. So much for the selling. The Irish Curse sets up the Cloverleaf but Cesaro is out before it can go on full. The Crossface is countered by elbows to the ribs and it’s a Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 10:36.

Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade as they beat each other up for a long time but the ribs weren’t used for most of the match. The injury played into the ending though and that’s a plus, but Cesaro casually hitting a high cross body for two and then just putting a hand on the ribs isn’t enough for me. That being said, Sheamus is right: Cesaro comes up short again and it’s been old for a long time.

It’s time for MizTV. This past Monday, Raw turned into Days of Our Lives with everything happening between Ziggler, Lana and Summer Rae. Oh and Rusev is in there too somewhere. We get a long recap package, meaning we see almost the entire thing. Miz’s first guest tonight is Summer Rae, complete with her CALL TO ME CALL TO ME song. That’s going to be stuck in my head all day now.

Summer calls Monday unfortunate but admits that there’s more to the story. Monday night, Dolph kissed her. Miz: “HE KISSED YOU???” It quickly turned from passion to guilt because she already has the most amazing man in the world. This brings out Dolph and Lana with Ziggler making fun of Miz despite things being kind of serious.

Summer accuses Dolph of having something going on with her for months now and we see a clip of Summer kissing Dolph in June 2014, though it seemed to be more to tick off Fandango. Yeah remember Fandango? WWE doesn’t either. Summer says they’ve been together at hotels as recently as last week and Lana goes after her. Lana storms off and Summer shouts that she can’t handle the truth.

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

Dallas takes him into the corner and slams Truth down before driving knees into the head. Off to some chinlockery but Truth fights up and gets two off a side kick. That goes nowhere as Dallas drapes Truth’s feet over the top rope and twist him down with a suplex spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:37.

Bo gives him another one post match and takes a victory lap.

We look back at Monday’s Beat the Clock Challenge with Charlotte getting the Divas Title shot at Night of Champions.

Charlotte praises her teammates when the Bellas come up so Nikki can brag about the record. If there isn’t at least a title defense before that night, this is going to reach an even lower level of stupid. Thankfully Charlotte says she’s petitioned the Authority to have their match before the record is broken. If that is approved, the whole record comes crashing down. Tick tock Nikki.

Tamina vs. Charlotte

Tamina shoves Charlotte down to start but gets WOOed for her efforts. A test of strength goes nowhere so Tamina takes her head off with a clothesline for two. Charlotte comes back by kicking her in the face and a spear, followed by Natural Selection for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. The match was just there to give Charlotte more momentum, but the idea of the title match taking place before the record could be the most interesting thing to happen to this division in a long time. That is, assuming they take the title off Nikki. Of course it would also make the first month of the Divas Revolution a total waste of time because the title was never mentioned, but did I mention how awesome Stephanie’s introduction of it was? That makes up for the whole thing.

Team Bella comes out to pose.

Long recap of the Cena/Rollins/Sting issues from Monday.

Kevin Owens brags about beating Cesaro twice in a row to silence the Cesaro Section. That brings him to the next people he wants to be quiet: the people who are critical of his weight. He isn’t going to change his diet though. Instead, feed him more. That’s about as good of an idea as there is for him right now.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day

Big E. and Kofi here and this is non-title. Ambrose and Kingston get things going with Kofi actually punching him into the New Day corner. Woods wants us to pay attention to the educated fists of one Big E. Reigns comes in for half of a double suplex on Big E. for two but gets sent down into the corner as well. It’s time for some trombone playing, followed by a quickly broken chinlock. E. splashes him in the corner but eats a big clothesline, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Dean cleans house and feeds Kofi in to Reigns for a clothesline. New Day is knocked outside and Dean dives onto all three as we take a break. Back with Kofi kicking Dean in the chest and slapping on another chinlock. Woods: “I HAVE A TROMBONE!” The Big E. splash gets two but Dean avoids a charge in the corner. He blocks Big E.’s belly to belly superplex and hits a nice missile dropkick. The nip up doesn’t work so well though in an unintentionally funny moment.

Reigns comes in to clean house and Jimmy is way too excited. Woods’ distraction lets Kofi grab a rollup for two, earning him a big powerbomb for the same. Dean sends E. into the barricade as Kofi springboards into the Superman Punch, drawing in Xavier for the DQ at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This was fine and the ending is a lot better than having the Dudleyz beat them clean on Monday. New Day gets to hold up the titles and swear that Kofi was going to kick out while everyone knows they’re lying. It’s a simple formula, but unfortunately WWE doesn’t know how to keep that formula from getting repetitive. I really like New Day moving up the ladder like this though as they’re definitely more than just another tag team. I mean, can you imagine the Prime Time Players in this role? It only works with the right kind of act, like New Day.

New Day gets their clocks cleaned (you never want a dirty clock) but Dean wants more. He wants another shot at Strowman and the Wyatt Family RIGHT NOW. Bray pops up on screen and says let’s do this at Night of Champions. Can you hear the footsteps of the apocalypse walking among them in the form of a black sheep? Run.

Overall Rating: C. Totally acceptable show here with the wrestling being fine, but above all else we actually got some storyline development for a change. Now granted it would be better if we had some major matches here instead of just the announcement of such matches, but I’ll take what I can get where I can get it. Not a bad show here and that’s more than you can say about Smackdown most of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Prime Time Players – 3D to O’Neil

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Draping suplex neckbreaker

Charlotte b. Tamina – Natural Selection

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day when Xavier Woods interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review – Summerslam 2015

We’re past what is still called the second biggest show of the year (I’ve been swayed to the idea that the Raw after Wrestlemania has taken that spot) and things were……there. I’ve had the better part of a week to digest the show now and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, so maybe I can figure it out by writing a long winded recap. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the preshow for reasons that aren’t clear. I’m sure this will in no way cause the show to feel rushed because there’s an extra match packed in.

Host Jon Stewart came out and said he was here to fight Brock Lesnar, with assistance from Mick Foley. The gag was that Foley thought it was to deal with his friend Rock instead of Brock so this isn’t happening. Stewart is all “ok” and that’s it. This was straight out of the Bundy vs. Gatorwolf days of Saturday Night’s Main Event to remind you that Stewart is in fact here.

Sheamus pinned Orton clean in a watchable opener. I say opener because I have issues calling anything these two do good or interesting. There are some people who simply do not have chemistry and Orton vs. Sheamus is one such pairing. I like both guys, but I don’t need to see them fighting, especially after Orton pinned Sheamus clean last month. It’s a classic case of “why are these two still fighting” and I’ve yet to hear either of them give a reason other than “we were fighting last month so we should fight again because clean endings mean nothing”. Not a good match but the lack of caring really hurt it.

So after that pretty lame opening, let’s crank things up a bit by taking eight guys and have them fly around the ring for ten minutes after New Day sang a version of Jay-Z’s New York (which might get WWE in trouble because copyright claims have reached the point where a parody song is somehow infringing on someone’s intellectual property because……well because America is obsessed with lawsuits that’s why.).

This is one of those matches where you can’t bother calling the action because it’s all about the frantic pace. Well that and Xavier Woods NOT SHUTTING UP, and that’s the entire point. Woods is supposed to be the most annoying guy in the world and fans getting fed up with him proves that he’s doing his job exactly right. Eventually New Day got the titles back and oh sweet goodness am I glad they did as the comedy is just excellent, much like their celebratory dance upon getting the titles back. This was a really fun match and probably should have opened the show.

Undertaker walked past Jon Stewart and Stephen Amell and had smoke following him. It’s not 1994 and Heaven help us if that’s what WWE thinks we should be doing again.

Rusev and Dolph Ziggler had a long TV match that ended in a double countout so we can have the mixed tag that they wanted to do instead. Ziggler and Lana have about as much chemistry as a history book, which makes the story odd as everyone else works pretty well together. If nothing else, Lana in the 80s jeans attire works very, very well so there’s something positive here. The match could have been on any given Raw though and that’s not good on Summerslam.

Next up was a very nice treat as Stephen Amell and Neville beat Stardust and King Barrett. This worked far better than I was expecting as you had Amell give one of the best performances of all time by a celebrity. It was clear that he wanted to be out there and was having a blast, while also showing off some awesome athleticism. You would think Amell would pin Stardust here but there are rumors that another match might take place, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. However, why bother having Stardust take a fall when Barrett can instead?

The Triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title was exactly what I was expecting: nothing great, a way for Ryback to look good, and short. This seemed like the match that was the most hurt by the lack of a match on the preshow as it didn’t even get six minutes. That being said, I’m really not sure how much more time would have helped here, as there was no reason for these guys to be fighting other than “I want your title!”

I’m assuming we’ll get Miz vs. Ryback for the title soon, because Ryback beating Miz in a non-title singles match in less than three minutes warrants a title match, since, as the Divas Champion would say the next night on Raw: “wins and losses don’t matter.” And WWE still has the nerve to wonder why no one watches their shows.

Jon Stewart and Paul Heyman traded lines. This was what you would expect.

The Shield guys beat the Wyatt Family in about what you would expect, minus the heel turn. This was done exactly as it should have been: as a fight instead of a match. These guys are capable of having a very hard hitting and energetic tag match so just let them do that instead of trying to make something into whatever it’s not supposed to be.

That being said, I never, in my entire life, need to see Roman Reigns and Luke Harper in the same ring again. Not even counting the tag matches, they had 40 minutes worth of singles matches in a month and almost all of them were the same. Factor in all the tags they’ve been in and my goodness. This may not have been the highest quality match, but it was a lot of fun.

Now we get to one of the major matches of the night. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the match (It’s John Cena vs. Seth Rollins for twenty minutes. You know the wrestling itself is going to be good) because this is all about the ending. For reasons that are much easier to comprehend than they seem on the surface, Jon Stewart came in and attacked Cena with a chair (after the required ref bump of course), costing Cena the match and the US Title.

I didn’t get this one at first but it became very clear the next night on Raw, which I’ll get to when I look at that show gain. That being said, gah. I knew something wacky was coming but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I like the idea of Rollins holding the title though, as he had to vanquish Cena at some point to legitimize his reign. This was basically fighting to a draw until Stewart came out though, and that’s the best possible thing for Rollins at this point. Heck of a match too, as you had to expect.

So then we got to the nightly “THE BELLAS ARE AWESOME AND EMPOWER WOMEN” segment of the night, which makes whatever feminist there is in me cringe more every time they speak. PCB beat the other two teams in another match that means absolutely nothing. Unfortunately this meant that we had to sit through the Bellas being in control for about eight minutes and the match just died.

The Bellas are very good at generating heat, but like the old villains of WCW, that all goes away as soon as the bell rings because they’re just so boring between the ropes. The match was begging for Sasha Banks, the crowd favorite by a mile, to come in and clean house, so of course she was on offense for about thirty seconds.

This was another moment that made me realize that the Divas Revolution isn’t going anywhere. It’s another way to feature the Bellas, who started their big story (kind of) a year ago at Summerslam. This is of course ignoring the stuff that led up to Nikki turning heel, meaning they’ve been the top story for roughly fifteen months now. It’s another Bellas story and that’s all it was really ever destined to be. As usual, WWE is great at creating false hope, but the fact that their fans are suckered into it every single time should be much more telling.

The next to last match was Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro, which was almost a no win situation. Owens got the pin, which is a good thing as far as him regaining some momentum, but the fact that he beat Cesaro a night after a brutal ladder match really doesn’t make Cesaro look good. That being said, Cesaro has gone from red hot to just Cesaro again, because WWE is fine with treating him like a breakout star for a month and then using him to get someone else over time after time. You really have to expect it at this point and that’s sad.

Now we get to the main event, which is getting more talk than anything else, albeit only for the last thirty seconds. Instead of just talking about the ending, I’d like to talk a little bit about the match itself, which is being forgotten due to how messy the finish was. This match was what they wanted Wrestlemania XXX to be with the two guys just beating the tar out of each other. Well that and Undertaker’s head not being scrambled but I thought that was obvious.

I liked the match more than I was expecting to with the spot of Undertaker sitting up and laughing at Brock before they slugged it out on the mat being a major highlight. However, you could see that Undertaker was getting weaker and weaker out there and I really don’t need to see him trying to pull off one more miracle in one more match. Wrestlemania XXX was bad, Wrestlemania XXXI was passable, and this one was a borderline miracle. Just let it go, but you know we can’t do that because of how this match ended.

As I’m sure you know by now, Undertaker tapped out in the Kimura but the referee didn’t see it. Instead the timekeeper rang the bell, allowing Undertaker to hit Brock low (so much for selling the hold) and put on the Hell’s Gate to make Brock pass out. So yeah, this was a way to set up a third match, likely at Wrestlemania, because we need a trilogy because those are cool. It didn’t work in the HHH feud and I really don’t see it working here either, though this could be better. I’m beyond the point of caring about Undertaker though, as he already lost the Streak and now he’s tapped out. What’s his career worth now anyway?

So that’s Summerslam and my big takeaway from is is that people are talking about how the matches ended, now what the endings mean or lead to. The big stories have been the timekeeper and Jon Stewart, not Seth Rollins beating John Cena or what is likely going to be a featured match or maybe even the main event (Heaven help us). I liked the show well enough, but there’s just something about this show that makes me wonder what it accomplished. This felt like a big build to other shows, which isn’t what the second biggest show of the year should be about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – August 27, 2015: The Dog Days Of Smackdown

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2015
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso, Rich Brennan

It’s hard to say what’s going to happen tonight as the big story coming out of Raw is the return of Sting, who I can’t imagine is going to be here tonight. There’s always a chance of some fresh Wyatt Family stuff, as this show has become the main ground for the Shield vs. Wyatts feud, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a clip of the Dudley Boyz returning on Monday.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Shocking I know. Harper talks about our eyes and ears being shut by the lies we’ve been told. We’re all dead and we don’t even know it but Bray Wyatt’s truth will give us new life. Bray says he doesn’t just throw out words like brother because family means everything to him. Sister Abigail has given him so much in this life and just when he thought he had nothing left, she provided him a savior. That’s what being a family is all about. Abigail’s eyes light up when she talks about Braun Strowman and now it is time.

Cue Reigns and Ambrose with the former saying it is what it is. That wasn’t the first time they’ve been whipped so if he and Dean are going down, they’re going down swinging. Ambrose: “I’ll take the ugly one.” There are always points in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line, intentional or not. Strowman is ready to go but Bray calls his men off and leaves.

Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz

Bubba takes Konor into the corner to start and asks if he knows who they are. D-Von comes in and runs Konor over but gets kicked down into the corner. It’s quickly back to Bubba for the Flip Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but Konor breaks it up. The attempt, not the table. Back in and Ascension gets in a little offense, including a jumping knee to Bubba’s face. Not that it matters as a quick clothesline allows the hot tag to D-Von for some house cleaning. Bubba comes back in off a blind tag and 3D ends Konor at 5:10.

Rating: C-. This was fine and just a way for the Dudleys to show that they’re back. There’s nothing wrong with running through your old standards before they come back with the bigger stuff later on, especially considering they’re probably going to get a title shot at Night of Champions.

Post match it’s table time but New Day comes out with signs, including “Save a table, break a Dudley” and “hashtag give tables a chance.” Viktor gets powerbombed through the table and New Day panics.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

This could be good. The threat of a kick to the head sends Owens into the corner and a headscissors puts him on the floor. Neville misses a baseball slide though and Owens blasts him with a clothesline. Back in and a torture rack neckbreaker (cool move) gets two for Kevin and we take a break.

We come back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and striking away, followed by a missile dropkick for two. The German suplex sends Owens to the floor but this time Neville is smart enough to duck the clothesline. Instead it’s a superkick to set up the Red Arrow but Owens rolls away before it can launch. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 8:19.

Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but there’s only so much they can do with less than five minutes of the match actually airing. It’s nice to see Owens getting back to back wins, but I’m worried about where Neville is going. There’s only so much he can do, but the hero character could take them somewhere.

The Bellas get catty with Team PCB over Paige being the leader but never showing up because of Tough Enough. A tag match is set up for later. High school style drama: empowering women around the world.

Bella Twins vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Team BAD is on commentary because Heaven forbid all of these teams aren’t in the same place at the same time. Jimmy has recused himself from commentary to avoid a personal conflict. Nikki and Charlotte get things going as BAD rips on the Bellas for their singing on Total Divas. As usual, I love that something that happened two and a half months ago on Total Divas (some of it happened backstage at Battleground) is never mentioned until after the show aired.

A double dropkick puts Nikki down so it’s off to Brie, who gets her head slammed onto the mat. Back to Charlotte who misses a knee to give Brie a target and one of her kicks actually connects for a change. A leg lock doesn’t get Brie anywhere so Charlotte kicks her out to the floor. Everything breaks down as Nikki pulls Becky off the apron, leaving Charlotte to roll Brie up in the Charlotte’s Web for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D+. I’m sure this means the Bellas are mortal and PCB has the momentum now or something, even though there still seems to be no advancement in this story. The Divas Revolution continues to be nothing more than a way to drag new Divas in so the Bellas can have fresh names to go over in the end. I had some hope that things would turn around with Summerslam ending but the first week is the same as all the previous ones: meaningless matches taking place while Nikki gets closer to the record.

Here’s Seth Rollins to address what happened on Raw. This Monday was supposed to take him from legendary to immortal. He mentions cashing in at Wrestlemania and being the first man to hold both titles at once (save for Goldberg, whose titles don’t count I guess because all those titles being unified only counts when they want it to. I like it better this way though as the idea of the World Heavyweight Championship being the NWA/WCW Title was one of the most ridiculous things even WWE had ever tried to pass off). Actors should be fighting to play him in his biopic.

Here’s a clip of Sting’s unveiling and subsequent beating. Rollins brags about being on top of the mountain while Sting has spent years down in the minor leagues. So why does Sting think he can ruin Seth’s moment without provocation? Rollins is going to finish what HHH started at Wrestlemania when the Architect faces the Artifact.

This got better as Rollins kept going but that’s the problem: it felt like he was still going for the sake of going, not because he had anything else to say. That’s a major problem with so many WWE promos: they’re designed as one size fits all, but not everyone speaks the same. Look at this one for example. Rollins could have cut this in half and said the same thing. Orton is the same way. He has to talk forever when it’s clear that he’s covered everything in a fraction of the time, but WWE has decided that this is how you do promos and everyone has to be the same.

Sheamus says he’ll kick Ambrose’s head off tonight.

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Big Show

Big Show throws Ryback around to start but Ryback kicks away in the corner. Something like a spear puts Ryback down up against the ropes. The chokeslam doesn’t work so Ryback shoulders Show down. That wasn’t a bad power sequence. Show runs him over in turn but Rusev tags himself in, much to Show’s annoyance, and we take a break. Back with Rusev dropping elbows on Ryback and ignoring Show’s requests for a tag. Rusev: “I don’t trust you giant!”

Ziggler gets knocked off the apron but the distraction lets Ryback score with a spinebuster. Off to Ziggler vs. Big Show and the giant gets put down with the swinging DDT. A superkick gets two but the Fameasser is countered into the Alley-Oop and the KO Punch knocks Dolph out. Rusev tags himself in though and slaps on the Accolade, only to have Show KO his partner. Show walks past the black hole that Ryback has fallen into as Ziggler covers Rusev for the pin at 10:16.

Rating: C-. So I guess Big Show is a face again. That guy turns more often than I have to change the oil in my car so he must have been overdue. Big Show vs. Rusev does nothing for me, but I think I’d rather see that instead of forcing myself through another Lana/Ziggler love fest.

Clips of the end of Undertaker vs. Lesnar and Brock leaving Bo in a heap on Monday.

Video on Jon Stewart screwing John Cena at Summerslam and Monday’s fallout.

Ambrose and Reigns try to figure out what Sheamus means by respect the hawk. Sheamus better learn to respect Dean’s fist and his boot. Reigns will take care of the Wyatts.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Now I know the Wyatts are either going to run in to end the match or just after it’s over, but how refreshing is it to not have Dean fighting one of them for a change? Ambrose vs. Sheamus isn’t the most thrilling match in the world, but I’ll take it over Dean vs. Wyatt or Harper again.

Sheamus takes over to start and dumps Dean to the floor to turn it into a brawl. Dean comes right back by throwing him inside for a clothesline to take it back to the floor, only to be sent into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus kneeing him down onto the apron and slamming him out of a suplex. The Brock Lock doesn’t make Dean tap out so he pulls himself up, only to get planted with a sitout powerbomb.

Six forearms to the chest have Dean in even more trouble but he gets in some forearms to Sheamus’ chest to even things out a bit. A big clothesline drops Sheamus and Dean is all fired up. The bulldog out of the corner sets up la majistral of all things to give Ambrose two. Dean’s suicide dive connects and another big clothesline knocks Sheamus silly. Of course we’ve got Wyatts and the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to because they didn’t try to make this a wrestling match. Just let these two beat each other up for about ten minutes and then let the rest take care of itself. The Wyatts were the obvious ending but at least Sheamus isn’t being treated like a loser for a change.

Post match Reigns comes out for the save and is smart enough to Superman Punch Harper as fast as he can. Strowman is waiting for him though and Roman’s right hands have almost no effect. Braun slams him face first into the mat and chokes Reigns out, leaving the Wyatts posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Standard Smackdown fare here with almost nothing interesting or worth seeing. The ending to the show was the same as when Strowman debuted on Monday and Show is still having issues with Rusev. It’s back to normal with two hours of talking, average matches and nothing that won’t be done on a bigger stage in four days.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Konor

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Charlotte’s Web to Brie

Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Rusev/Big Show – Ziggler pinned Rusev after a KO Punch

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam 2015: A Long, Long, Very Long Summer

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

And remember: the first Wrestling Bundle ends at midnight tonight so go check it out!

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/sunday-is-the-final-day-for-wrestling-bundle-1/

Results

Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and Lucha Dragons – Kingston pinned Fernando after a Clash of the Titus

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Stephen Amell/Neville b. Stardust/King Barrett – Red Arrow to Barrett

Ryback b. Big Show and Miz – Ryback pinned Miz after a KO Punch from Big Show

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Wyatt

Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree onto a chair

Team PCB b. Team Bella and Team PCB – Pumphandle slam to Brie Bella

Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb

Undertaker b. Brock Lesnar – Hell’s Gate

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2012: HHH Is Sorry

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 29 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Lesnar F5’d Vince and injured him, making HHH come back as The Cerebral Assassin to face Lesnar. Brock responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/




Smackdown – August 20, 2015: Go Home, Go Home, Go Home

Smackdown
Date: August 20, 2015
Location: Resch Center Hall, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

It’s the final show before Summerslam, meaning it’s time to find out how many times they can talk about Brock vs. Undertaker in about an hour and a half. It’s going to be a mixture of matches getting the hype this week as the main event is an eight man tag with three feuds being combined into one match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Non-title and yes they’re actually starting with a match for a change. Ryback punches away to start but Show drops him with a clothesline. They seem to be going with the “hit each other really hard” formula tonight. Phillips starts listing off the odds for Sunday’s title match, because the fans aren’t smart enough to divide by three. A side slam puts Ryback down and Show hits the chinlock. Miz told Lawler the following sage wisdom: “Size means nothing. The whale is an endangered species but the ant is doing just fine.” That’s one of those bizarre statements that works, which makes it even more disturbing.

Ryback fights up and just runs Big Show over, much to the announcers’ delight. Something like a spinebuster puts Show down again (to be fair, he’s not the easiest guy to spinebust) but the Meat Hook is countered by a spear for a close two. Show actually dropkicks him to the floor but Ryback comes back with the Meat Hook to put them through that part of the barricade they always go through when they go through part of the barricade (Jimmy: “OH SNAP! OH SNAP!”). It’s a double countout at 4:14.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot into this and it’s fun to see someone like Ryback muscle Big Show around. I know it’s been done a million times, but it’s still an impressive display of strength. Also, well done on having them go to a draw instead of having one of them lose. I’ve never been a fan of having someone going into a title match losing, but that’s what they did with Miz on Raw. Hopefully that doesn’t mean he gets the title back though as Ryback is starting to put something together as champion.

It takes a bit to get everything cleaned up.

New Day vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

This is billed as a six being match because WWE is stupid that way. I could watch New Day’s entrance for hours, especially the look on Kofi’s face. Woods and Fernando get things going and Lawler is already making his lame old man short person jokes. A quick splash sends Woods into the corner for a tag to Kofi but Los Matadores double team him down with Diego’s neckbreaker getting two.

Lawler says he went to see the Lucha Dragons’ new movie: Dragon Ball Z. I would pay to see Lawler watch a Dragon Ball Z movie. The threat of Torito sends New Day to the floor and we take a break. Back with Woods charging into Diego’s elbow but making the tag off to Big E. Diego gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle for two and it’s rotating stomp time.

Woods hits his running basement dropkick in the corner before it’s off to Kofi, who is sent face first into the post, allowing for the tag to Torito. This is the big showdown with Woods (Lawler: “It’s deja moo!”) and a rolling cradle gets two for the bull. Everything breaks down and Big E. runs the full sized masked guys over, leaving us with E. vs. Torito. A big backbreaker sets up the Warrior splash and Woods gets the pin at 9:09.

Rating: D+. This is WWE in a nutshell: lame puns, a six being match, and a full match built around a thirty second spot on Monday that no one really cared about because it might make someone backstage laugh. At least New Day won and we got the celebration after a watchable match, but the story just killed this for me.

Someone gives Woods flowers and the celebration is on in full.

Here are Ziggler and Lana for a chat. Ziggler talks about how good it feels to be back here…..with Lana. He’s been tired of spending six weeks on the shelf, eating his dinners through a straw. Ziggler wanted to be here to help Lana against Summer and Rusev, before he needed to find his Lana (his words) and see if she was ok. The first thing she said to him was they needed to crush those two. Ziggler: “THAT IS HOT!”

Lana thinks they make a great team because Ziggler always stands up for what he believes in and she shoved Summer into a fish. Dolph says Lana just wanted to prove how tough she was, which makes Lana giggle. Rusev can have his pathetic wannabe but only Dolph gets the real thing.

Cue the Rusev flag, quickly followed by Rusev and Summer. Rusev promises to crush Ziggler’s throat again and put him in the Accolade. Well that’s certainly efficient. He’ll let go before Ziggler passes out though so Dolph can see Summer crush Lana as well. That will be the end of his comeback, but Dolph says the comeback doesn’t even start until Summerslam when he kicks Rusev’s teeth down his throat and steals the real girlfriend. Didn’t he do that already?

This is one of those feuds where the rationale seems to have been “well, there’s nothing else for them to do”, which rarely makes for a good story. Ziggler’s thinking makes sense (“What am I supposed to do? Turn down the hot blonde trying to kiss me?”) but Lana feels so forced into this story.

It really doesn’t help that she had to just sit around and wait for Ziggler to come back from his movie as she’s lost all of her heat in this story. Yeah remember like three months ago when you heard all those WE WANT LANA chants? How long have those been gone? About as long as she’s been with Ziggler I believe? At least it’s not a mixed tag though.

Here’s a good chunk of Cena and Rollins’ exchange from Raw.

Neville vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas takes him into the corner for an elbow to the jaw and driving some knees into the back of the head. “BOLIEVE!” We hit the cravate on Neville but he pops up, kicks Bo in the head and ends this with the Red Arrow at 1:54. Neville is getting into that 1995 Randy Savage mode of only hitting one move, which isn’t a good sign for him going forward.

Stardust and Barrett pop up on screen and promise to win. Barrett: “On Sunday, red and green turn black and blue!” Stardust: “Yeah. He’s going to punch you!” Neville will be grounded by a royal Bullhammer so hail the Cosmic King and Stardust.

Team Bella comes out for a triple threat but it’s time for a chat first. Alicia introduces Nikki, who will hold the record in 26 days and represents fearlessness. Has that slogan ever been explained? I mean, what makes Nikki fearless? Nikki says she may be fearless but she has doubts too. This past Monday was her toughest challenge to date and Sasha didn’t disappoint. Maybe one day, Sasha will be an amazing Divas Champion, but that day isn’t today. Well of course not because she hasn’t gotten the record yet.

Nikki says that her title reign makes her the most powerful woman in sports entertainment. Oh yeah Stephanie is getting involved in this after Sunday. They’re proud of being part of what social media has dubbed the Divas Revolution. Oh come on. I know WWE has decided that social media is the greatest thing in the world but Cole has been calling it that name for a month now.

Cue Team BAD with Naomi saying that the Bellas don’t speak for the entire division and no one believes them. She advises them to not prepare a victory speech for Summerslam, “because it’s not going to happen boo.” Sasha talks some trash so Brie gives one of the worst deliveries I’ve ever heard as she says Sasha calls herself the Boss, but there’s a much better word for her that starts with a B. That line was clearly off a script and Brie just butchered it. Like, Ed Leslie levels of bad butchering.

Sasha brings up making Nikki tap on Raw (Nikki: “Still the champ!”) but switches to Brie, who has ridden her injured husband’s coattails for months now. Brie tells her to shove it instead of bank on it and violence is teased but here’s Team PCB to intercede. Well Team CB at least as Paige is at Tough Enough. Becky promises a lass kicking and we’re ready to go.

Before we get to the match, let’s talk about why this was such a bad segment at its core. Ignoring how bad some of the delivery was, you had pretty much the entire Divas’ division out there (has Natalya been on TV in the last month?) and none of them talked about wanting to be champion.

Nikki said Sasha might be champion one day, but I can’t remember the last time anyone said they wanted a shot. It’s just about establishing which team is dominant or whatever, because that’s all they’re allowed to fight over right now. I can’t wait for next week when they can get back to normal with some better stories, because this whole AJ record thing is killing anything they had with the introduction of the new roster.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella vs. Sasha Banks

Everyone goes after each other to start and it’s Becky left standing and telling the others to come get her. We take a break thirty seconds into the match of course because having a break after the promo wouldn’t have made a bit of sense. Back with Brie doing a YES chant and kicking Sasha in the head for two. The BRIE MODE running knees don’t appear to make much contact but get two more on Lynch.

It’s Sasha’s turn now as she stacks the other two up in the corner for the double knees. That always looks cool. Brie and Sasha clothesline each other down and it’s Becky in to clean house with suplexes all around. Sasha gets up on the apron but Brie rams Becky into her and grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Brie is an interesting case as she can range anywhere from dreadful to passable on any given night. This was a good little match after a promo that didn’t make a ton of sense when you started to think of it. Thankfully we get to the serious stuff next week though so this is one of the last messes we have to sit through.

Orton, Ambrose, Reigns and Cesaro all promise to win their matches on Sunday.

Long video of Undertaker and Lesnar from Monday.

Randy Orton/Cesaro/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the main event roster. Orton and Sheamus get things going after about ten minutes of entrances. The threat of an RKO has Sheamus on the floor after about twenty seconds and we’re already in a commercial. Cut that out already! Back with Owens saying he wants Cesaro and getting what he wants when Orton drags Kevin over to face him. A quick suplex puts Kevin down and it’s off to Ambrose vs. Harper with the former getting a very nice canned reaction. Dean drives him into the corner for the same canned pop for Reigns.

Roman kicks Harper in the face but eats a forearm and it’s quickly off to Bray. Back to Cesaro for the European uppercuts in the corner and it’s off to Harper, who whips Cesaro into the ropes. Unfortunately Harper thinks he’s wrestling a human as Cesaro flips over the ropes and lands on the apron for a sunset flip. Everything almost breaks down but in what might be a first, the referee actually holds things together.

The distraction lets Harper kick Cesaro in the face and the villains take over. Bray gets in some shots and NOW Owens is willing to come in for the Cannonball. Back from a second break with Cesaro getting caught in the Regal Roll and a tag to Harper for a slingshot hilo of all things. Owens and Wyatt alternate backsplashes for two and it’s off to a chinlock to kill time. Cesaro does his best to fight out of the corner but walks into the Irish Curse to stop him cold again. A dropkick finally gives Cesaro a break and that invisible crowd pops up one more time.

The hot tag brings in Reigns who starts his variety of clotheslines. The apron kick mixes things up a bit and it’s time for some Samoan drops. See, why can’t he do things like that more often? A suplex or two won’t kill him. Some double teaming from Wyatt and Sheamus puts Reigns down but Sheamus takes too much time going after Ambrose, allowing the Superman Punch to knock him silly.

Dean gets the next hot tag to run over Harper, as has been his custom over the years. Wyatt gets knocked to the floor and Dean dives out onto him, followed by throwing Harper outside for a suicide dive. The standing elbow gets two on Harper with Owens diving on top for the save (Harper was crushed) and it’s time for the parade of finishers, capped off with Dirty Deeds for the pin on Harper at 19:22.

Rating: B. Take eight guys and let them get in there together for a solid formula tag match and watch the good results come in. There isn’t much else you can do to hype up this many matches on one show so this was about all they could put together. Harper losing was probably the best option as he’s just a minion whose job is to lose so Bray doesn’t have to. I’m always a sucker for all the finishers in a row to end a match too so good stuff.

The winners celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good, solid go home show for everything but the two main events. Smackdown has really improved in recent weeks since they started being the show where the midcard feuds get some spotlight. Raw alternates between Cena vs. Rollins and Lesnar vs. Undertaker, so it’s nice to see the other stuff get some attention too. Good show this week and Summerslam looks solid.

Results

Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double countout

New Day b. Los Matadores/El Torito – Woods pinned Torito after a splash from Big E.

Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow

Brie Bella b. Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks – Rollup to Lynch with a handful of trunks

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Randy Orton b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt/Kevin Owens/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/