IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Aside from the matches mentioned already, there are two other major matches. First up we have Team Kurt Angle vs. Team Eddie Guerrero to continue their rivalry which started back at Wrestlemania XX. Angle couldn’t take the title from Eddie but became GM of Smackdown, vowing to make Eddie’s life miserable. On top of that we have Undertaker (once again the Dead Man) facing off with Heidenreich, Paul Heyman’s latest monster. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

The set looks cool here as it’s made of six screens which I guess will act as the Titantron tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Spike is defending and is a heel here. This is one fall to a finish. Kidman hurt Chavo on a Shooting Star Press and seemed to be proud of it, which resulted in a heel turn for him. The other good thing here is that they don’t have to tag. As usual, this doesn’t last long before things break down. Kidman and Spike form a quick alliance, only to have Kidman dropkick the champ out to the floor.

Rey sends Kidman to the floor and it’s off to Rey vs. Chavo, who are still friends at this point. Rey spins Chavo around with a headscissors before Spike sends Rey into the corner and stomps away with some screaming thrown in. Chavo comes back in and a double clothesline puts he and Spike down. With Kidman on the apron, Rey hits a hurricanrana to send him out to the floor in a cool looking spot.

Back in and Rey tries the sitout bulldog on Chavo but Guerrero throws him onto Kidman in a seated senton. Chavo dives on both of them, leaving Spike standing ta….short actually. Anyway the champ dives on all of them but they step aside to let him crash. Chavo finally gets his hands on Billy back in the ring but Spike comes back in to break up a pinfall attempt.

Rey misses a moonsault over Spike’s head and gets thrown to the floor as a result. We get a Tower of Doom with everyone minus Rey involved, so Rey comes in and tries to steal a pin. Rey charges at Kidman but gets caught in a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two but Chavo breaks up the Shooting Star. Spike hits a running headbutt to Rey’s ribs but the Dudley Dog is broken up. The 619 hits Spike but Billy breaks up the West Coast Pop. Chavo hits the Gory Bomb on Spike but Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes out Kidman and Spike steals the pin on Chavo to retain.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything here but it was fine for an opener. Rey was insanely popular still but Spike keeping the title was a great way to tick off the fans. There’s nothing wrong with a heel winning, as long as the opener fires up the crowd, which this did. Good choice.

Heidenreich is getting fired up by Heyman when Paul goes to get his jacket. Snitsky, another creepy heel of the day, comes in. He says he likes Heidenreich’s poetry and Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies (as in punting them into the crowd). There’s WAY too much deep breathing here. This was almost who Undertaker and Kane fought at Wrestlemania before the company woke up and stuck Orton against Undertaker instead.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Shelton, a young, very athletic guy who used to be in a tag team, is defending but the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s theme makes him far more awesome. Shelton is at the point in his career when he’s about to get on one of the biggest rolls in years but it never went anywhere past the Intercontinental Title. The champ cranks on the arm to start before they head to the mat. Keeping in mind that Shelton was a legit All-American wrestler, he’s just fine being on the mat with Christian.

Christian cranks on the arm but Shelton drops to the mat and immediately nips up which looked great. It didn’t do anything but it looked great. Christian talks trash and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Shelton skins the cat before hitting a great looking springboard clothesline for two. A HARD chop slows Benjamin down and Christian talks some more trash. Shelton counters a monkey flip by casually landing on his feet and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two.

We head to the floor for a quick distraction by Tomko (Christian’s bodyguard) but Christian gets punched in the face instead. Tomko tries to cheat again and this time the distraction is enough to let Christian get in a shot. Why that creepy little bas…..never mind. A cross body gets two for Shelton but Christian immediately puts him back down with a neckbreaker. Off to a chinlock (Tomko: “BREAK HIS NECK!”) by Christian and he launches Benjamin to the floor as he tries to break the hold.

Shelton comes back with a hard whip into the corner to put Christian down. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ as does a slingshot reverse suplex (called a reverse fisherman’s suplex by JR). Benjamin misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught in a reverse DDT for two. Tomko slides the belt in (hitting the referee in the foot in the process) but Shelton kicks Christian in the face.

The referee sees Christian holding the belt, which lets Benjamin hit a top rope clothesline for two. As the belt is being put out, Tomko kicks Benjamin in the face for two. The Exploder Suplex (Benjamin’s finisher, a snap floatover T-Bone suplex) is countered but Benjamin kicks Tomko down. The Unprettier is countered into the Exploder for the pin to keep the title on Benjamin.

Rating: B. I really got into this match at the end even though Christian didn’t have much of a chance at winning. The Tomko and belt stuff didn’t help anything but they had to try to slow Shelton down a bit. Benjamin was in the beginning of a very long run with the belt that would last until June, which was the longest reign in about six years.

Really good match here as Christian put Shelton over strong. There’s a reason this guy basically had the world title waiting for him on a plate whenever he stepped up enough to take it, but that never happened for various reasons. Namely he just stopped trying and coasted on his reputation, but that’s another story.

Angle complains to Edge about something Edge wrote in his book about him. Kurt makes fun of Edge for never winning the World Title. They trade some insults before Kurt leaves and runs into Eugene, Eric Bischoff’s mentally slow nephew who just happened to be a talented wrestler. Eugene lists off (slowly) some of Angle’s accomplishments before singing the You Suck version of his theme song.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Eddie and Angle have been feuding since Wrestlemania. Carlito, the son of a Puerto Rican legend, debuted and beat Cena for the US Title before injuring Cena in a nightclub (or having someone do it. The attacker was never revealed but it might have been Carlito’s buddy Jesus). Big Show is feuding with Reigns (an enforcer type character) and Jindrak (a very athletic guy who didn’t do much in America) and Angle for shaving his head, and Van Dam is there as a warm body. Got all that?

Before the bell, Cena chases Carlito and Jesus to the back and gets in a brawl with them. Carlito and Jesus steal a car and speed away, which counts as an elimination. Back at ringside there’s a big brawl until Show (on a bad ankle) pulls Jindrak into the ring. Here’s Cena back to the ring to make it 4-3. Off to Van Dam who hits a spin kick before it’s off to Eddie for the slingshot hilo, followed by Rolling Thunder from Van Dam.

Eddie suplexes Jindrak down and armdrags Reigns as he headscissors Jindrak in a cool move. Angle comes in to stop his team’s bleeding but it’s quickly back to Reigns for a bunch of backbreakers for two. Off to Jindrak for a full nelson but Eddie sends him into the buckle. Eddie dives for the corner but Angle literally tackles Guerrero to break it up. Kurt hits a belly to belly before bringing in Reigns for more stomping.

Off to a chinlock from Jindrak but Eddie eventually grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Angle again blocks the tag and puts on a front facelock. One thing to note here: the entire time the hold is on, Cena is reaching out for a tag and encouraging Eddie. It doesn’t mean much, but it helps things from getting really boring. Little things like that can make a big difference. Watch guys like Rock and Hogan when they’re on the apron in tag matches. They’re ALWAYS doing something, even if it’s minor like clapping. It can make a difference.

Jindrak comes in but Eddie knocks him away and it’s off to Van Dam. Rob goes off (Cole: “He’s supple!”) and hits an enziguri on Angle to set up the Five Star but Jindrak pulls him away. The Splash hits Jindrak, allowing Angle to roll up Rob (using the ropes) for the pin. Angle heads to the floor so Eddie rolls up the illegal Jindrak, using the ropes as well, for an elimination to make it 3-2 (Eddie/Show/Cena vs. Reigns/Angle).

Eddie tells Angle to bring it on and there go the straps. Eddie tags in Show, making Angle tag in Reigns. Reigns gets in one or two shots but a chokeslam beats him quickly. Kurt rolls through a chokeslam into the ankle lock but Show sends him through the ropes to escape. Angle starts to walk up the aisle but Van Dam is waiting on him. Kurt backs up while still looking at RVD, and backs into Show. He reaches up to see how tall what he backed into is and shakes his head. Show throws Kurt back in to face Cena (in for the first time legally) and it’s an FU and Frog Splash for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a good match but it was entertaining, which is more than you got from almost all of last year’s show. I’m guessing Cena and Carlito were injured as they didn’t do anything for the most part. Angle was great here and the look on his face when he backed into Big Show always makes me chuckle. Fun match here, which is all you need sometimes.

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, where Heidenreich is the latest guy to try to kill Undertaker at Paul Heyman’s direction. This was one of those matches where they were trying to make it seem like Undertaker was in trouble but Heidenreich comes off like the villain in the fifth direct to video sequel in a horror series that has overstayed its welcome by two movies.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

Heidenreich pounds away on Undertaker against the barricade while shouting that he can beat him. Undertaker shrugs that off again and hits the legdrop on the apron for two. Old School hits the second time followed by a modified Downward Spiral for two. A big boot misses Heidenreich in the corner and it’s time for more punching on the floor. This isn’t one of those matches where the fans are worried about Undertaker as I don’t think anyone bought Heidenreich as a real threat.

A kick to Undertaker’s face sets up a chinlock and a clothesline for two. Another clothesline stops Undertaker’s comeback but a suplex stops the stopping of the comeback. Heidenreich sends him to the apron but Undertaker stuns him on the top rope. Undertaker channels his inner Kane (he had the name first) and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back in and Snake Eyes/the big boot takes Heidenreich down again.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Rating: D. Like I said at the end of the day, did ANYONE buy Heidenreich as a real threat to Undertaker? The guy just wasn’t that good and he came off as more silly than a serious threat. Not much to see here and Heidenreich never got higher than he did in this match. Undertaker would move on to a much better feud with Orton soon enough to try and make people forget about this mess.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

We recap Trish vs. Lita, which is happening because….well who else are they going to fight? Lita got pregnant with Kane’s baby but lost it because of Snitsky. Trish made fun of Lita for being a sl**, having a dead baby, and of course for being fat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending. Lita is all ticked off and punches Trish, who is coming in with a broken nose, as soon as she gets in. Trish gets pounded even more and they head to the floor where Trish goes into a table and gets cracked with a chair 80 seconds into the match for the DQ. This wasn’t much, but these two would main event Raw in a few weeks. I don’t mean a match that went on last and then they had the promo that closed the show. I mean they spent the whole show hyping up Trish Stratus vs. Lita as the main event and Lita won the title and celebrated to end the show. It was quite the moment and a big deal.

Teddy comes in to congratulate Team Guerrero while Show is in a towel. Show hands the towel to Teddy and walks off. Cena: “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Teddy makes Cena vs. Carlito for the title on Thursday. Why is Cena in his underwear?

We recap Booker T vs. JBL. Booker pinned JBL in a tag match but JBL says Booker isn’t in his league. Booker beat up Orlando Jordan (JBL’s lackey) and pinned him to earn the title shot. There really isn’t much to this one.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

JBL is defending and Booker’s big yellow gloves don’t really do him any favors. Feeling out process to start as they trade really basic stuff for the first minute and a half. Booker knocks him to the floor and JBL gets the advantage coming back in. Back to the floor and Booker gets sent over the announce table. As they head back in, Jordan gets in a cheap shot to give JBL two. Still in first gear at best.

JBL hooks in a cobra clutch followed by an elbow drop and a chinlock. After that VICIOUS offense, Booker easily fights back and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orlando gets in some more cheap shots on the floor but JBL walks into a Book End out there to give Booker his first real advantage. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. They’re into second gear now but it’s just not an interesting match.

Booker goes up but another Jordan distraction lets JBL avoid a Houston Hangover (flip legdrop). Another sleeper by JBL is escaped but Jordan breaks up the ax kick. JBL hits a quick DDT for two and there goes the referee. Jordan comes in and pounds on Booker but Josh Matthews comes out to help Booker for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. JBL destroys Josh but there’s the side kick to JBL. The ax kick takes him down as well but Jordan takes out the referee. Booker hits the Book End on Jordan but JBL clocks Booker with the belt to retain.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. Basically they were redoing the HHH/Flair run from 2003 with Jordan interfering every ten seconds and the matches sucking and the crowd groaning when JBL retains the title. JBL is a hilarious commentator and a solid main event jobber, but the guy was painfully boring as champion.

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

We recap the main event which is Team HHH vs. Team Orton. Team Orton has united to oppose HHH’s tyranny and the winning team gets to run Raw for a week each. Snitsky has said that when Team HHH wins, he’s coming for HHH’s World Title, and Edge has said the same. Batista has been looking at the title too so HHH is rather nervous. This gets the music video treatment for the night. Maven and Snitsky stick out like two shattered thumbs in this whole thing.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

HHH is World Champion and Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.

Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the World Title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. What a great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? It doesn’t matter how awesome he is because he’s not getting a shot at anything.

Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match. It couldn’t be because Orton is a lame duck and everyone knows it of course. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a swan dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and swan dives both of them for two.

Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets caught in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.

Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.

It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.

Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge now. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 (HHH/Edge vs. Orton) with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.

Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the champ hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so I dug this at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked its legs off.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some dull stuff here, but the good stuff really is solid as you can see the new generation ready to burst through. The main event was entertaining stuff and the fans did react to Orton pinning HHH clean. The Smackdown side of things was pretty lame but other than that, this was a solid show and I was digging it at the end. Good show.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have entered into what I guess you would call a new era in the company. Orton has split from Evolution as it is starting to crumble. Batista is on the rise as he would win the 2005 Rumble to set up his first title reign. Over on Smackdown, JBL is the reigning champion in the middle of that one title reign that he never stopped talking about. It’s hard to put a finger on it but you can just simply feel that things have begun to change into what we would consider the modern era of WWE.

Cena and Batista would take their spots as the kings of the company in about five or six months. Your main event tonight is HHH’s team vs. Orton’s team, where the winners get control of Raw for the next month. Yet again, this just seems like a preview for next month. Over on Smackdown we have JBL defending against Booker in the random non-feud of the month. This looks weak on paper, but let’s try it out.

We get a video about the history of the Survivor Series. This is painfully weak. If it tells you anything, Snitsky and Maven are in the main event tonight. How scary is that?

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero

Wow Kidman had a job at this point? This is one fall by the way. Kidman’s music makes me want to die quickly. Billy hurt Chavo with the shooting star, which is one of the main reasons it was banned for as long as it was. Kidman and Spike are your heels here, in case for some reason you care. If that’s the case, I’d recommend a doctor. I know I say that Spike should be only fighting small guys, but he really shouldn’t be wrestling at all. He’s just annoying.

Cole runs through the rules as I think they might have finally picked the perfect opener. More or less no one is going to care about this match but it’ll be full of high spots so if nothing else people will get hyped up over it, or at least they’re supposed to. Tazz recommends that someone hide in a corner, which really isn’t all that bad of an idea. This is the location of the first two Survivor Series as well as the 1992 show so this is the New York of Survivor Series I guess.

Using his expert analytical skills, Tazz points out that the move we just saw was indeed a knee of the ribs. They’re going with the formula here of having two guys go at it and two guys down, which gives the match a bit of a Mexican flare to it. I think I like that. Spike was in his Boss phase here where somehow he was in charge of Bubba and D-Von, because that just makes perfect sense. Now we’re getting into what this should be: a massive spotfest.

Spike crashes when he tries his and that is just great for some reason. We go to Billy vs. Chavo which is the hot feud I guess. In case you didn’t notice the first 20 times they said it, there’s a slim chance that Spike will hold the title as they more or less give away the ending. Why does Tazz keep using the term pin cover? I don’t think anyone else uses that and I’m not sure if I like it. I hate cruiserweight matches where they try to be slow and technical.

Cole continues saying stupid things by saying all four of these men want to become champion of the world. One of them already is you dolt. Somehow they tried to make the Shooting Star Press into a heel move. Seriously? Why would you try to do something like that? It’s one of the most impressive looking moves there is and it will never not get a solid pop.

What’s the smart thing to do of course? Try to make it evil of course, because the only thing that matters are heels, especially tiny ones that are SO intimidating. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog which fails because…because…well because he tried it on Rey Mysterio that’s why.

Chavo hits the Gory Bomb, which of course according to Cole connects. Listen to a Cole match and see how many times he uses that word. It blows Vintage away. In a rather anti-climactic ending, Spike steals the pin after Kidman drops a springboard leg on Chavo. That just wasn’t that interesting of an ending.

Rating: C+. This was probably the best choice for an opener, but I’m not sure if it worked that well. The high spots were fine but Spike was just sucking the life out of this thing. I get that he’s a heel, but there’s not supposed to be depth to matches like these. They’re about big spots and getting the crowd into the show, so why have someone there that’s just slowing things down? I don’t get that. The match was ok but it just didn’t feel right so take that for what you will.

Heyman and Heidenrich are in the back as Paul tries to fire him up. Snitsky shows up and they have an odd exchange. Their mouths are far too close during this. Snitsky likes what his poetry and Heidenrich likes what Snitsky does to babies. They would start a very short tag team feud against Kane and Taker soon. For the record, Snitsky had caused Lita to have a miscarriage if that explains anything. Their noses were touching. That’s just odd.

Here’s the pointless theme song that no one will remember in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Benjamin won the title in a relative shocker at Taboo Tuesday, beating Jericho for it as well as winning the rematch. Christian is getting the shot because he just wanted one I guess. He would be leaving for TNA in about a year at this point. This is more or less the wet dream of any IWC fan and clearly should main event Wrestlemania because….well just because.

I love the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s music. This is right before Shelton became the hottest thing in the world and about six months before the classic he had with Shawn at Raw that was the high point of his career. Ross says that Shelton may be a better athlete than Lebron James. Wow indeed. Christian slaps him and gets punched for his troubles.

Shelton gets a sweet springboard clothesline to take out Christian for two. Tomko is at ringside with Christian as he continues to be completely worthless. They chop it out as Christian shouts that he IS Captain Charisma. Benjamin is just scary with how athletic he is out there. Tomko gets involved and it allows Christian to shove Shelton to the floor to take over.

Ross and Lawler get into an argument as to whether you’re cheating if you choke to four. That’s a very good question actually. Christian hammers on Shelton for a good while but here comes Shelton. Solid stuff here so far. Shelton gets a counter into a slingshot reverse suplex for two. Nice. Stinger Splash misses and Christian gets an Edgecution for a long two.

Christian brings the Title in and it gets kicked back in his face. Tomko kicks Shelton’s head off for a two and a solid pop on the kickout. Shelton hits the Dragon Whip on Tomko and there’s the T-Bone on Christian to retain. Sweet match and Shelton looked great here.

Rating: B. THIS should have opened the show. This is what both guys should be doing: wrestling in the midcard and having the best stuff on the show. That’s where Christian and Shelton both fail for me: the company and fans on WZ think that they’re ready to take over the reins of the company and they’re just simply not there yet.

Now maybe they will be someday, but at the moment they’re just not prepared yet. Also, not everyone is going to be able to be a main event guy. Look at Kofi for example. Anyway, this was very solid and it was this time period where Shelton got the reputation that he has now, which is what the IC belt is supposed to be about.

Edge and Angle cross paths in the back with Angle talking about how Edge has never won the title. This is psycho Angle that was some of the fun stuff. This was a pretty intense segment with two guys that have a solid background. I’d like to see Edge come back like this where he’s a heel but not by much. Angle tries to go to the ring but runs into Eugene and suddenly I wish I had a gun or a hatchet. Eugene sings Kurt’s song and the hatchet might not be fast enough.

Hey! Here’s a Wrestlemania moment that has absolutely nothing to do with this show! It’s Austin winning his first title in case you were wondering.

Tazz and Cole plug Mania 21.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Angle, Carlito, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak
Guerrero, Big Show, John Cena, RVD

Angle was hanging out with Reigns and Jindrak at the time and they were feuding with both Big Show and Guerrero separately so there’s that. Cena and Carlito had been having a feud over the US Title which Carlito won from him in his debut match. Since then, Cena was stabbed in a club and had to take time off. The theory was that it was Carlito but there was actually a rumor going around the internet that they were going to bring in New Jack of all people to have been the attacker.

Cena comes out last and immediately chases Carlito off. Cena fights both he and his bodyguard Jesus into the back with absolute ease. The bell hasn’t rung at this point and I have no idea what the wrestlers are in the ring doing during all of this stuff. Jesus and the anti-swallower get away in a car that they steal to add auto theft to their list of crimes. Those are just great things to show on television there Vince. Cena heads back to the arena as I guess they were brawling in the meantime?

The bell finally rings and we have Show vs. Jindrak. Cena’s back so it’s already 4-3. Oh and Angle, Jindrak and Reigns had recently shot Show with a tranquilizer and shaved his head to explain why he’s so ticked off. Everyone beats on Mark because he just completely sucks. That’s a pretty good face team. Who’s the least accomplished on there? RVD I guess? Tazz fails by trying to compare one of these matches to a baseball game.

Eddie pulls off some amazing looking stuff as this was likely some of the best stuff he ever had during this time of his career. That made no sense but a translation would be he was doing very well at this point in time. A little interference from Angle turns the tide though. I’ve never quite gotten that expression. I get what it means but it just sounds odd to me and always has.

Reigns and Jindrak both could have been good but for some reason they both just completely failed. Tazz gets their names wrong. That tells me either one of two things. Number one, they’re so generic that they’re identical, or that everything is fine with Tazz. Barring a few seconds at the beginning, this has been all Eddie which I guess could work but at the same time it’s kind of stupid. I do kind of like the slow pace they’re working here if it builds up to a hot finish.

Now it’s just getting boring as we’re getting a lot of headlocks and chinlocks which just suck the life out of the match. Ironically they were talking about the You Suck chant as I typed that. At the time Jindrak was a combination of Buff Bagwell and Rick Rude but with somehow less talent than Bagwell. He does the hip swivel and it looks awful. The announcers talk about how he’s stepped up huge. That’s just a scary thought.

Van Dam comes in and for reasons that I don’t want to know, Cole calls him supple. He sets for the Five Star on Angle but Mark pulls him out of the way. Is that what he’s there for? Just to be a jerk/show off, Van Dam jumps over Angle and hits Jindrak who is about ¾ of the way across the ring. RVD is one of the few people that I’ve ever been in awe of. He hurts his ribs on the splash (naturally) and Angle rolls him up and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

In a funny yet stupid moment, Eddie slips in the back while Angle is arguing with the referee to roll up Jindrak and use the ropes the same way Angle just did to make it 3-2. Ok, so two reasons why this was stupid. Number one, Jindrak wasn’t legal. Two, the announcers LOVE Eddie’s cheating yet booed the heck out of Angle. I know they’re faces and heels but at least pretend to not be biased guys.

After some stalling we have Big Show vs. Angle which lasts for all of a stare down and now we have Reigns in there instead. Oh yeah Show has a messed up ankle. They did such a great job of covering it that I was blown away enough to not mention it. Despite the pain, Show shows up and hits the chokeslam to make it three on one. Show immediately sets for a chokeslam on Angle but Kurt counters into an ankle lock.

Angle tries to run but RVD is waiting for him. For some reason, Angle picks to fight the three. In a funny spot he backs up still facing RVD and backs into Show. He stops and looks nervous and reaches up towards Show’s head where he realizes there’s no hair. He shakes his head and slowly turns around. It’s a lot better than it sounds mainly due to Kurt’s facial expressions.

Show sends him in to Cena (in for the first time in the match) but apparently he’s not legal as Eddie hits a Frog Splash to allow Show to pin him. Cena was never legal so I’m guessing injured still. Now that I think about it I think he really was hurt at this time. Actually never mind. He was making the Marine.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. It started off decently enough but then in the end it was like they were told to hurry up and then everyone went out at a ridiculous pace. Cena wasn’t hurt so I have no clue why he wasn’t in there at all. The faces winning was more or less a given once you look at the lineups, so this just wasn’t entertaining at all really. It could have been good, but it just fell flat, but to be fair they were only going to be able to do so much with it.

Buy the history of the AWA which most of the people that were watching this PPV have never heard of!

This must be the strangest PPV of all time as Maven is getting interview time. If nothing else he’s heavily muscled. He’s bad on the mic but gets cut off by Snitsky. After a rather bad beating and by bad I mean pathetic looking, Maven is carried away.

We get a video about the crazy Heidenrich vs. Undertaker, who really wasn’t that impressive at all. He rammed his car into a hearse Taker was in after costing him the world title at No Mercy.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Apparently I’ve been spelling his name wrong. However it’s likely that I’ll be flipping between the two spellings. He comes out in a straightjacket because he’s CRAZY! He’s also about as stock of a villain as you can possibly imagine. I mean he’s just there and there’s nothing at all to suggest that he’s a tough guy at all. The story here is that Taker can’t use his mental games on Heidenrich. Oh come on now.

For years now everyone Taker feuded with has been “immune” to his games or whatever. They just don’t try with Taker so often and it sucks. Oh and Heidenreich allegedly raped Cole. You had to see it and the comedy alone is worth checking on. Naturally since Taker can’t win against this guy, he opens the match completely dominant. Heyman’s interference prevents Old School to give Jon (Heidenreich’s first name and way easier to type) the advantage.

Taker gets crotched on the post. That’s just creepy for some reason. Are his balls dead too? They hit the floor for awhile with Jonny (no not the admin) in control. Even Taker looks bored out there. That can’t be a good sign. Cole talks down about Heidenreich as he desperately tries to validate his employment. I know he’s improved to an extent, but dang he used to be horrible. He’s beginning to put emphasis on vintage here too, so it’s officially begun.

Old School hits to a bunch of flashbulbs going off. In a cool thing, they point out how many things Taker has done at Survivor Series. How cool is it that a guy has dominated two major pay per views like this? Taker hits a downward spiral which I don’t think I remember him ever using other than this. Apparently Heidenreich has taken everything Taker has to offer. Other than the chokeslam, tombstone or Last Ride of course, but those have never been worth anything anyway.

Cole points out that Jon is talking to himself with every move he makes. Given his limited skill, it’s likely him reminding himself to breathe in and out, and as I type that Heyman is screaming don’t let him breathe! Paul, that’s called murder and that’s a bad thing. Also, Heyman in a beige suit doesn’t work. He screams at Heidenrich that he’s Heidenrich. Is he afraid the dog catcher is going to think he’s a stray or something?

This is just taking forever and it’s painfully generic. They go to a punch out and naturally Taker wins this. He goes to the top and hits a cool looking diving clothesline which gets the crowd breathing. There’s two problems with this match. First of all, Heidenreich sucks and he sucks badly. Second, this is going FAR too long. We’re at about ten minutes already and it should have ended at least three ago.

The crowd is dead with even a big move from Heidenreich and a long two getting next to no reaction. There’s far too many punches to from Jon and it’s boring. Just to step it up a bit, he goes to the middle rope and punches. In what should have put us out of our misery, he grabs the bottom rope to break up the pin. This isn’t fair. Oh come on Jonny. A sleeper now? Oh good Taker reversed it.

There’s your boring chant which should have come about 10 minutes ago. Taker sits up to a mild reaction. One of the most famous spots of all time barely got anything from the crowd. That just isn’t a good sign at all. A generic chokeslam leads to a generic tombstone to a generic pin to perfectly cap off this boring match.

Tazz tries to say this is the furthest Taker has ever been pushed. That’s just flat out hysterical. Actually no it isn’t. It’s freaking sad that a man has to lie like that on national television.

Rating: D. This was just boring. There are times when the wrestling is ok, but it’s just that this formula has been done so many times that I’ve run out of numbers for it. How many times have you seen Taker against some big man that you know he’s going to beat and then have a gimmick match against? Naturally there was a casket match at the Rumble because things just wouldn’t be complete without that to continue this.

Thankfully Jon was gone relatively soon after this, at least from major matches. Amazingly he would stay in the company for an entire year after this, even winning a tag title as a member of the new Legion of Doom. Just thinking of that makes my head hurt. Anyway, this was horrible, mainly due to Heidenreich but Taker isn’t innocent either.

Bischoff says that Maven might not be able to compete and there won’t be a replacement.

We get the recap of Trish vs. Lita which begs the question of why these two need a storyline. Lita, the face, lost her baby due to Snitsky and Trish found it amusing. The recap is complete with a pic of Kane in a white tux so it wins based on that alone. Lita really can’t act.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

As I said, Lita is the face and challenger here. For once, Trish looks better than Lita here. I think it’s the evil thing. Lita has some weird suspenders thing on. She beats the living heck out of Trish and we’re on the floor already. Make your own joke for that line. The redhead grabs a chair and swings at Trish twice with both times completely missing.

I mean the camera shows that they don’t hit at all, and even though Trish’s face was away from the chair, meaning they would have hit her in the back or back of the head, she’s busted open. Knowing Trish, she was hurt to explain why this wasn’t an actual match. Upon further review, she had a broken hand so at least this makes sense.

Lita uses what’s called a rear naked choke on Trish which is really more like her just choking her and shaking on the floor. We get more stuff of Lita trying to injure Trish’s face which led to her wearing a nose protector for a few weeks. This would lead to the first ever women’s match main eventing Raw for the Women’s Title in early December which was a very cool moment.

Rating: N/A. It’s a minute and a half and an angle instead of a match so no grade.

Team Guerrero is happy to have won. Teddy comes in and Big Show takes his towel off which is passed over. Cena, clad in boxers, is told that he’s getting a US Title shot. He would get it on Smackdown and destroy him to get the belt hack. I really don’t like this gimmick of Cena’s.

Recap of Booker vs. JBL, which more or less was this: Booker want a shot, he beats Orlando Jordan, he gets a shot, JBL talks down to him, match. That was the issue with JBL’s title reign: it was ridiculously repetitive with the other flaw being that no one bought him as a credible champion yet, but who cared about that?

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Booker T

This just sounds bad on paper. I mean think about it. Can you picture these two having a good match together? I certainly can’t. Amazingly enough, the match itself is as boring as I imagined it. The announcers are trying to make this seem like a great match or something but it just isn’t. JBL comes out in the big white limo of his which was his signature as you likely know. Booker just looks like he knows he has no chance at all out there tonight.

There’s just not a lot to say about this match. Nothing stands out at all. It’s just two older guys going through the motions which is never a good thing. I really don’t think JBL had the character down in any sense of the word here and you can tell that based on just how plain his offense is. The announcers are no help at all here as they offer no reason as to why we should buy Booker having a shot.

With the HHH feud the previous year, Booker had pinned HHH on Raw which showed us that it was possible. Here he had only been beating on Orlando Jordan which meant nothing at all. Oh look it’s a sleeper! Oh wait, it’s a cobra clutch! Ok wait a second. Not only did JBL completely rip off Ted DiBiase’s gimmick but now he’s trying to steal his finishing hold. My head hurts from this match.

Orlando tries to do a run in but gets beaten up. He’s been out there for most of the match cheating here and there but now he’s stepped it up a bit. I very rarely skip large portions of the match in these, but I’ve gone about five minutes of video and haven’t typed anything for the simple reason of there’s nothing to talk about.

It’s just not an interesting match in the slightest and I have no interest in it. JBL gets knocked into the referee and naturally Booker finally gets the kick but we have no referee. After some Jordan interference a belt shot ends this. Really, that’s the ending they chose? It’s perfect I guess, as it’s as generic and uncreative as I can think of.

Rating: F. This was just awful all around. There was no build up, there was no drama, there was no good wrestling, and there was no reason to watch this. It was boring and the ending was even worse, so what else could I grade this as? I can’t believe I’m saying this but bring on HHH vs. Orton as it has to be better than what I just saw.

Promo for Tribute to the Troops, which is just flat out cool.

Batista is in the back and HHH comes up to him. They more or less say that once they win the partnership with Edge and Snitsky is over. Like I said earlier the winning team gets to run Raw for a month. After HHH leaves, Batista implies to Flair that he would give himself a title match. This was right about when they started pushing Batista as the super beast that he became known as being, leading to his face turn around February.

He was getting huge reactions for months before that but was still heel. You could see it coming, but it was quite well done. He would eventually turn after winning the Rumble where he was considering whether to face HHH or JBL at Mania. He overheard HHH and Flair saying they were leading him around by the nose and he was a face by the end of the night, setting up the inevitable showdown with HHH that everyone knew was coming eventually.

The recap is painfully simple with clips of Evolution running Raw for one night and the face team standing up to them, leading to Bischoff making this match. Of course it’s set to the theme song, which is a decent enough song, but it has no connection to the match at all.

That’s what sucked about the songs: they completely didn’t fit and when they did, they were used for all of one segment on the show and other than that were always playing in the background. Unless you just really liked the song you were so sick of it by the end of the show that you didn’t care about it anymore.

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

HHH, Batista, Snitsky, Edge
Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Maven

Wow those entrances too way too long. Remember there’s no Maven due to the earlier attack. My guess would be this is Vince coming to his senses about putting Maven in the main event of a major PPV. We start with Edge and Benoit which works just fine for me. Edge in purple tights just looks a bit odd. We move over to Snitsky who is apparently goofier than a pet coon. Who has a pet raccoon? Seeing Orton as a young face is just strange to see.

He stops to pose for a second which gets a solid pop. He really could be a good face if he had more hair. The face team is tagging a lot as Jericho is in now. HHH comes in and the noise noticeably drops. The people were just fed up with him at this point which I think is why Orton got such a great reaction: he was something new. Apparently there’s a stipulation that says that Orton can’t challenge for the belt as long as HHH is world champion.

We get some Batista and Orton since they’re the future and all and somehow still are to this day, five years later. The tags are really fast here which is an issue because it keeps there from being a flow to the match, which is the worst thing that can happen to it, at least in my eyes. The crowd is SILENT. I mean there’s nothing at all and it sounds like there’s no one there. I know it’s a small crowd but they could make more noise than this my goodness.

Benoit wakes them up a bit at least, and I mean that in the most literal of sense. The rolling Germans really do get the people going for a bit and they’re at least popping for big spots so we don’t need 7,500 coffins. While everyone else is brawling, Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on HHH but Edge breaks it up. In some hot Canadian on Canadian action we have Edge in a crossface. Batista breaks it up, leading to one of the worst pedigrees of all time on Benoit.

Edge covers him and takes the win to make it unofficially 4-2. Nice job guys. You have gotten rid of the only person that’s actually getting anything out of the crowd tonight. It’s Edge against Jericho now but as I say that HHH and Snitsky argue over who tagged Edge which includes at least one F bomb. Batista and Snitsky argue as well which gets us a second. Flair gets thrown out for messing with Jericho.

That gets people going as I guess they were just bored at the beginning when nothing was really going to happen, so I guess that makes sense. Since he’s awesome, Batista takes both Orton and Jericho down at the same time. He hits a heck of a spinebuster on Jericho but gets caught with an awful belt shot from Orton and a running enziguri which Jericho was using as a second finisher until he realized it sucked to make it 3-2 or really 3-3 gives how you look at it.

Snitsky uses the best offensive move that he has by choking Jericho. Orton has a really weird style of punching. He’s changed it since but it just looks really weird. After the faces get their collective faces kicked in, their knight with shining eyebrows comes out in the form of Maven.

Now let me get this straight. I understand that Maven was attacked. I understand that Maven was injured and might not be healthy enough to compete. I understand that he might be acting against doctor’s orders. I even can kind of understand how he should be in the main event as he’s a young guy fighting against the establishment. But why in the world after two hours has he not washed the blood off his face?

He looks completely lost out there too. I mean you can tell that he just isn’t ready for this, which isn’t his fault. Granted he never really got much better, but he just wasn’t ready for this yet. He plays to the crowd decently enough but that’s about all he does right. He’s trying as hard as he OH MY GOODNESS what a chair shot! Snitsky just cracked the living tar out of Maven with a SICK chair shot. He’s gone of course but he hits Jericho and Orton with it first.

HHH covers the unconscious Maven to make it Orton and Jericho against HHH and Edge. Maven really was kind of a sacrificial lamb because he was never in there for the most part and was able to cancel out Snitsky. In other words Snitsky was worth as much as a guy that wasn’t in the match for the most part. These jokes write themselves most of the time but never like that. If you can’t tell who the final two are going to be, you’re a freaking idiot.

Edge starts freaking out because he can’t pin Jericho. Why does that sound like the story of his life? Never mind he gets him after a spear to make it Orton against two tall guys, which isn’t a great way to describe them because they’re all about 6’4. We get a pretty boring back and forth segment with Edge vs. Orton a longer version with HHH playing the part of the egotistical jerk in a joke that I don’t even need to make.

They go for the double team and shockingly enough the spear misses and HHH is down. You know what, that was so predictable that it wasn’t even funny to me. It’s such a cliché anymore than it’s absurd. Edge turns around and takes an RKO to get us down to one on one. Orton needs to start doing it like that again. He does it in a more fluid motion at the moment and I’m not a fan of it at all.

This is more Orton is just right there waiting and partially on his way down already when Edge turns around. The impact is a lot better and the move looks better this way. Also he does it with one arm which I like more as well.

Anyway after about two minutes he counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the clean pin, which moves the storyline along because Orton has shown he can beat HHH but isn’t allowed to challenge him, thus strengthening his heel character. Only HHH could come up with a way to get stronger by losing clean.

Rating: B-. This was….ok. That’s the only think I can think of to describe it and it has to have the ellipse which is a two dollar word currently on sale for 89 cents and it means the three dots. The wrestling is pretty good but Maven and Snitsky in the main event? Really? Also Edge was about at the level of John Morrison at the moment (the day before Hell in a Cell in case he’s done something really big in the last month and a half) so he wasn’t exactly a lock to be in here.

Jericho just looked out of place and they had already stopped Benoit’s push as he goes from world champion to first guy out. The match is ok, but it’s really nothing great. Orton won though which was the absolute right ending.

Overall Rating: C-. If I had one word to describe this show, it would be lackluster. I mean look at it. What on the card would make you want to watch this show for free, let alone for 40 dollars? This would have been ok for something like Judgment Day maybe, but not Survivor Series. This is just nothing special at all, plain and simple.

Shelton and Christian or the main event gets match of the night more or less by default which is never a good sign at all. This is definitely not recommended as it just isn’t an interesting show. The wrestling is passable, but there’s just nothing here to make me want to see this at all, which has given me a thread idea so there we go.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 5, 2006
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for One Night Stand and that’s a big deal, but at the same time, it is interesting to see what ECW is going to do when they come back full time. Last week, things got interesting when Paul Heyman announced that Kurt Angle would be joining the show. I could certainly go for more from Paul Heyman this week and hopefully that is what we get. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Shane McMahon comes in to see an anxious HHH, who is not looking forward to possibly joining Vince McMahon’s club. HHH is ready to explode but Shane says go talk to Vince and it’ll be fine.

Opening sequence.

It’s time for the contract signing between Rob Van Dam and John Cena for this Sunday. Paul Heyman is here with Van Dam and…well Cena doesn’t have any friends. Emcee Jonathan Coachman hands over the contracts, with Van Dam talking about how the title is changing in six says. It’s not just changing hands, but it’s also changing names to the ECW World Title. Cena’s Chain Gang isn’t going to be there at One Night Stand, which sends Heyman into a rant about how the ECW fans are going to be waiting to rub it all into Cena’s face.

Cena, barely able to contain his laughter, asks about the passionate fans before saying he is one. He isn’t going to be just handing over the title jack, but everyone knows that Van Dam is going to fight. Cena has fought and bled to keep it too though, so Van Dam better be ready. This soldier is locked in and ready to fight and they both sign. We get a handshake but Heyman says Cena has something else to do first. There is going to be a WWE vs. ECW battle royal so now it’s time for Cena to get a little preview.

Cue a bunch of ECW guys to surround Cena, who looks cool with it. Cena: “Hey Paul Heyman, let me guess: these guys are all here for John Cena autographs right?” Cena says he’s going down swinging so the fight is on until Sandman canes him in the head. Sabu grabs a chair and drives him through the table until Big Show and a bunch of other guys come in for the save. They’re doing something different with ECW this year and that’s a good idea. If nothing else, it makes more sense to have them go after Cena in a big swarm like this as no one is going to buy Cena as being in trouble against one or even two of them.

Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Shelton knocks him down to start and fires off some knees in the corner. Carlito fights up and snaps off a dropkick, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. We hit the early chinlock as Lawler thinks Carlito’s hair is a cry for help. That’s broken up for some clotheslines and the springboard elbow to Shelton’s jaw gets two. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and the Backstabber gives Carlito the clean pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, other than the champ losing clean in about four and a half minutes of course, because Shelton isn’t allowed to look impressive for any extended length of time. I’m still not wild on Carlito but they have to push someone as the next challenger and this is about as logical of a move as they have.

Video on See No Evil.

HHH reluctantly goes into Vince’s office but finds Coach, who goes to get Vince. The fact that there is a large photo of Shawn Michaels being forced to join the Club isn’t exactly encouraging. Post break, Vince comes in to talk about how awesome of a time he had in New York earlier this week, including a special sand blasting of a certain area. HHH shrugs that off and says this isn’t happening. That sends Vince into a rant about how HHH needs to lead the locker room by example, but we have a plan B. Instead, HHH can face the Big Show and if he wins, the whole Club thing is off the table. Let’s just have that match….now.

HHH vs. Big Show

HHH slugs away in the corner but charges into a gorilla press. Show gets low bridged to the floor though….and here’s the Spirit Squad to jump him for the DQ, meaning HHH’s Club deal is still on.

Post break HHH storms into Vince’s office and blames Vince for that, but Vince says a deal is a deal. If HHH doesn’t do it, he never gets any title shot ever again.

Eugene vs. Matt Striker

Before the match, Striker asks why Eugene thinks he can win. Eugene says he has a tutor, so here’s Jim Duggan of all people. Striker jumps Eugene from behind and hits a quick DDT for two. The chinlock goes on so Duggan starts the EUGENE chant, which means the comeback is already on. An airplane spin dizzifies Striker but he counters the Rock Bottom into a neckbreaker. Duggan’s flag waving distracts Striker though and Eugene hits a three point clothesline for the fast win.

Post match Striker sends Eugene into the steps…and here’s Umaga to jump Duggan. Destruction ensues.

Here’s hometown boy Kurt Angle for a chat. Angle knows he’s part of ECW but nothing was going to stop him from being here in Pittsburgh. Cue Mick Foley to interrupt and this could be interesting. Foley isn’t happy with Angle going for the blatant cheap pop like that because that’s his deal. Angle asks if Foley had a bunch of cash waved in his face to turn on ECW and says everything Ric Flair said about Foley was true. Angle: “WOO!” Foley brushes that off and says that he heard Angle was having an open challenge at One Night Stand. Paul Heyman said it though so it’s probably a lie. Angle: “Oh it’s true Mick, it’s d*** true!”

Angle knows Foley is in his tag match, but come answer the challenge and get another paycheck like a hair prostitute. Angle: “Speaking of hairy prostitutes, hi Lita!” Cue Lita to whisper something to Foley. That would be a special introduction, as here’s Edge as well. Edge talks about shaving Angle’s head and compares Angle to the Pittsburgh Steelers, but he’s really more like the Pittsburgh Pirates. Like, Willie Stargell for instance. Not the All-Star version of him, but the rotting corpse which has been dead for five years.

The trio gets in Angle’s face so Angle threatens to break Edge’s ankle. Edge: “Ok wrestling machine.” Edge talks about Angle’s history with ECW and thinks he would have been a better pick for ECW. He’s the #1 contender to the WWE Championship though and Angle won’t last two weeks in ECW. Angle promises to change the face of ECW and goes for Edge’s ankle. The Angle Slam cuts off Foley and the ankle lock has Edge in trouble until Lita makes the save. The trio bails so it’s Randy Orton running in for an RKO to drop Angle.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

During the break, Orton said he was accepting the challenge after Angle put him on the shelf for sixty days. I didn’t know Angle came in suspension form.

Lance Cade vs. Kane

Kane knocks him around without much effort to start and decks Trevor Murdoch off the apron for a bonus. The side slam sets up the chokeslam….and the lights go red with the old Kane mask appearing on screen. The mask says to come back so Kane walks up the ramp for the countout.

Cade and Murdoch celebrate so we got to the back where Kane says come fight him. The costumed Kane pops up behind him and beats the unmasked Kane down.

The Highlanders are coming but first it’s time for some shenanigans in New York. I liked these guys.

Charlie Haas vs. Johnny Nitro

Haas runs in and hits the ropes, knocking Lilian Garcia off the apron in a heap. Melina looks down at her and we cut to a shot of Haas in a hurry. Haas knocks Nitro into the corner to start but gets dropkicked outside. Melina rakes the eyes for a bit and Nitro kicks him in the back for two.

Nitro forearms to the back and grabs a cravate as the LILIAN chant begins, mainly because she is being helped to the back. Lawler manages to blame this on ECW as Haas monkey flips Nitro down onto his face. Haas rains down right hands in the corner until Melina comes in, intentionally falls down, and grabs her ankle. This is enough of a distraction for Nitro to grab a rollup for the pin, making Haas the dumbest wrestler in….well at least this week.

Rating: D+. That distraction ending was pretty awful as Haas looks like the biggest numskull imaginable. There wasn’t anything to the match either with Haas being his usual self and Nitro somehow needing help to beat him. Nitro’s Raw tenure hasn’t gone well, but at least he isn’t losing again.

Back from a break and we see Lilian being taken to the back after being knocked to the floor. Justin Roberts is taking her place.

Victoria vs. Beth Phoenix

Mickie James and Trish Stratus are here as well. An early distraction lets Victoria hammer away to start and a kick to the ribs sends her into the ropes. There’s a knee to the back for two more but Beth is back with a snap suplex. Some clotheslines set up a dropkick for two and Beth nails a side slam. Mickie offers a distraction though and Victoria grabs a rollup with tights (which are pulled WAY out of position) for two. Beth is right back with a Michinoku Driver for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match itself was just there, but what mattered here was Beth broke her jaw at some point but finished the match anyway. That would be it for her for over a year on Raw as she would need a bunch of surgeries and then get sent back to OVW for a bit. She hid the injury rather well, but she was grabbing her face as soon as the match was over. As you should probably do.

More on See No Evil.

Vince is looking forward to humiliating HHH again and tells Shane about the special treatment he has been giving his….it’s called an a**ial. Moving on.

BUY THE DUSTY RHODES DVD!

We look back at ECW beating John Cena down earlier.

Jerry Lawler has been hearing from Tazz for years and knows how bad a man Tazz is. Bad at wrestling that is because you aren’t allowed to choke in wrestling. ECW isn’t known for following the rules though, like you must be this tall to ride the roller coaster. Tazz says he has one last match in him, so Lawler promises to make One Night Stand Tazz’s last stand.

One Night Stand rundown.

HHH yells at Shane and says he isn’t doing this. Shane says Vince just wants respect and wants HHH to stand up to him. He hands HHH a water and calls Vince, but HHH switches waters with Shane because he’s not that stupid. Shane says everything is fine.

Here are Vince and Shane for the Club initiation. Vince runs down the history of the Club and talks about its various members, including Jim Ross and Shawn Michaels. With the required JR insults out of the way, here’s HHH, downing his water on the way to the ring. Vince says HHH can be the leader of the locker room by doing the right things as HHH starts looking a little shaky. HHH starts staggering and falls down, which Vince thinks means he needs to do some kissing. The pants come down but Shane collapses and HHH pops up. There’s the Pedigree (with the camera making sure to catch Vince’s full thong shot) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They’re going hard with the ECW stuff, but it didn’t really feel like anything got a ton of focus here. There are some big matches set for the card but the idea is more that ECW is coming rather than focusing on any one match. That’s a good way to go and something you didn’t get last year with the original reunion. I like the direction so far and while this wasn’t the most focused show, I want to see the pay per view and that’s what matters most.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 29, 2006
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to One Night Stand and the top of the show is starting to take place. Given that it isn’t a traditional show, there is a good chance that we won’t be seeing much more than just the two main matches. I’m not sure what we’re going to see on the way there, but Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena needs some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Memorial Day video. That’s always nice to see.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going. He gets to the point by saying that losing HHH was like losing one of his own (maybe not the best illustration on Memorial Day) and we see HHH hitting Shane McMahon with the sledgehammer two weeks ago. Shane is still recovering but he has a lot of headaches. As for everything else, Shawn Michaels is no more because of what the Spirit Squad did to him last week.

After looking at Shawn’s knee being destroyed, Vince talks to Shawn at home, suggesting that the fans are chanting various insults at him. There is always a place for Shawn in WWE though. Maybe he could set the ring up or be a timekeeper or something like that. We also look at HHH turning on the Spirit Squad last week, which has Vince flabbergasted. Vince is ready to see HHH’s true colors tonight, as he faces Kenny.

Other than that though, Vince needs to announce a new General Manager, but there is no one who fits the requirements. Instead, here’s his new Executive Assistant: Jonathan Coachman. Coach comes out to announce some matches tonight, including John Cena vs. someone he has never faced before, Edge vs. Big Show, with the winner getting a WWE Title shot at Vengeance, and Shelton Benjamin defending the Intercontinental Title against Kane. Coach thanks Vince for the chance but Vince orders him to get HHH in his office right now.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kane is challenging and knocks Shelton down before the bell to start fast. Shelton slips out of a suplex to start and hammers away, which earns him a big boot to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton holding a chinlock, thanks to posting Kane while we were away. Shelton kicks him in the head but Kane sits up and hits another big boot. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline.

The chokeslam is countered into a rollup but even the feet on the ropes isn’t enough to keep the title. The Dragon Whip is countered as well but the counter is countered into a spinning DDT. Shelton’s Stinger Splash hits Kane’s back so Shelton tries one to his face, which is countered into a chokeslam. That should be it, but here’s Kane’s old music and….a guy in a really bad Kane Halloween costume, complete with the old mask. The real Kane is even more confused and gets chokeslammed as the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: D+. What we got wasn’t too bad but I don’t see this Kane vs. Kane story going very well. The Undertaker vs. Undertaker idea didn’t work twelve years before this and something tells me that the modern version isn’t going to be better. If nothing else, at least find a better costume. Like the inverted red and black one which always looked great.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre-break, which might not be the best thing to remind the fans about.

Coach is looking for HHH but runs into Armando Alejandro Estrada, who offers Vince his services instead. With Coach gone, Viscera pins Estrada face first against the wall and swears vengeance on Umaga as I try not to imagine various thrusting motions.

HHH comes in to see Vince and tries to calm things down. Vince makes tonight’s main event a Spirit Jack match, with a Spirit Squad member in each corner. HHH: “You would do that for me?” He promises to bring a friend of his own, and happens to have his sledgehammer.

Umaga vs. Viscera

Umaga jumps him before the bell and sends Viscera face first into the ramp. They get in and the Samoan Spike finishes in thirty seconds. They kept cutting to Lilian Garcia because she and Viscera are still a thing.

More See No Evil stuff.

Torrie Wilson/Beth Phoenix vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

Trish Stratus and Mickie James are the thirds. Beth and Victoria slug it out to start, with Lawler making “trading licks” jokes. Torrie comes in to help Beth with a double chop, followed by the Stink Face. Victoria slams her down and hands it off to Candice for a Vader Bomb. A dancing elbow gets two but another misses, allowing the hot tag to Beth to clean house. Beth knocks Victoria into Mickie and finishes Candice with a Michinoku Driver.

Rating: D. They did what they were trying to do here by introducing Beth and letting her get a win, though you can only get so far with Torrie and Candice working a good chunk of the match. They’re trying to do something new though and just adding Beth and Mickie is a great breath of fresh air. The division has needed that for years so maybe this can help.

Back from a break with Lawler ranting about how bad ECW, including several shots at Tazz, but here’s Rob Van Dam to interrupt. Van Dam doesn’t hit Lawler but does sit in on commentary, suggesting that Lawler hang up his boots like Tazz did. Wouldn’t that be just the same situation that Lawler is in now? Think this stuff through Rob.

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and the Nitro, with Melina, push begins. That entrance really does make them seem like some of the biggest stars around. Melina gives Nitro a kiss on the cheek to start but Cena punches him in the face to get things going in a hurry. Nitro kicks him down and drops the breakdancing legdrop before hammering away in the corner. Lawler and Van Dam argue about ECW on commentary (you can tell Lawler really didn’t like it and that helps a lot) as Cena makes the comeback (about two minutes into the match), hits all of his signature stuff, and finishes clean with the STFU in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I understand that Nitro, a career tag guy so far, shouldn’t be beating or realistically even hanging with Cena, but maybe they shouldn’t put him against Cena in his singles debut. Aside from the legdrop and a few right hands, this was all Cena, who barely looked like he broke a sweat. I’m not sure I get this, as someone like Chris Masters or any other midcard heel would have been far more expendable and been able to do the same thing.

Cena and Van Dam have a staredown post match until Nitro sidesteps a charging Nitro to send him into Rob.

Here are Mick Foley, with the Hardcore Title, and Paul Heyman, at face to face podiums for a chat. Foley talks about Heyman calling him a prostitute last week and yeah Foley is guilty. If you’re here to see men of principles taking a stand, you’re in the wrong place. The only difference between ECW Mick Foley and WWE Mick Foley is Mick has traded up for a billion dollar pimp in Vince McMahon.

That brings him to One Night Stand, which is where Foley gets upset. How can ECW claim to be hardcore after he and Edge tore the house down at Wrestlemania? Either way, Foley wishes Heyman and his porn addicted, pot smoking band of Mick Foley wannabes with their show. Heyman says that would mean more if it didn’t come from a Terry Funk knockoff. Foley admits that Funk is the greatest wrestler he has ever seen and Dreamer was tough but they couldn’t do what he did. Heyman: “Pull a sock out of their crotch, put it on his hand and entertain Vince McMahon while he was in the hospital?”

Foley says Funk and Dreamer had “Bingo Hall Balls” because they would never venture to WWE (uh…..) and do what Foley did. Foley goes around to Heyman’s side and says you either left ECW as a drunk, a drug addict, a criminal or a corpse. Heyman just resents Foley for becoming the biggest star the industry has ever seen. That’s not true actually, as Heyman’s issue is that Foley is a w****.

However, Heyman wants Foley to understand the new vision for ECW. It isn’t just going to be about flaming tables and piledriving women (Heyman: “We’ll still have some of that.”) but as Foley knows, ECW is coming back full time (if that had been mentioned before, it was completely in passing). Anyone from Raw or Smackdown is welcome to jump over, but Vince has also given him two Draft picks, one from each show.

Foley says the Raw pick is going to be Rob Van Dam, because Rob really was, ahem, a high flier. Heyman: “The Kool-Aid comes in many forms Mick.” As for the Smackdown pick….Foley cuts him off, suggesting that it is going to be a scarred up Mick Foley ripoff. Actually it’s someone ECW has been wanting for some time and he’s here tonight: KURT ANGLE. Foley is ready to fight and is taken down in a heartbeat, setting up the Angle Slam to send Foley leaving.

There’s a lot to unpack here, and that’s a good thing. First of all, these two were the perfect picks for this argument as they are two of the best talkers ever and Foley can easily keep up with Heyman when he’s on. Heyman can get away with calling out Foley’s hypocrisy and make you believe every bit of it, which isn’t something everyone can do.

Then there’s the ECW relaunch, which is a pretty big deal of its own. Having big names come over will help it, but the one thing I always got out of it was that it wasn’t WCW, the AWA, WCCW or something else coming back or some new show. It was ECW, which does say something about the impact that it had. At the very least there was a nostalgia for it, which says a lot about a company that wasn’t really around that long. It’s cool to see it coming back, though I don’t know how much faith you could have put into WWE to do it right, even from here.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant debuts, June 1, 1971. Dang it why can’t these clips be on the Network?

Edge vs. Big Show

Lita is here with Edge and the winner gets a World Title shot at Vengeance. JR: “This is a Wrestlemania like environment.” I don’t remember many #1 contenders matches at Wrestlemania. Edge ducks a chop in the corner to start and slugs away but the second chop attempt works rather well. Another chop puts Edge down but Lita grabs Show’s foot so Edge can slug away to no avail.

Show hits Snake Eyes but Edge manages to snap him throat first off the top. The charge sends Show head first into the buckle and Edge manages an Impaler. The spear is countered into a chokeslam attempt so Edge throws the referee down. Edge is sent outside and grabs a chair, which is swatted away. Lita gets in a low blow so now it’s a chair, setting up the spear to finish Show.

Rating: D+. We haven’t been having very good matches tonight but they are accomplishing their goals, which is much more important. Edge cheated over and over here but gets a title match out of it, which I’ll take over them just announcing his shot at Vengeance. This did what it was supposed to do and that is what matters most.

Yet another See No Evil video.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH, with sledgehammer, runs into Vince, who takes the hammer away and says not tonight.

Kenny vs. HHH

The Spirit Squad is here too. HHH punches him down to start so Kenny bails to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope lets Kenny take over for all of a second before HHH runs him over again. The jumping knee to the arm region looks to set up the Pedigree but Mitch grabs the leg. Mitch is sent hard into the steps and some more of the Squad is knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Kenny still in trouble and HHH beating up the Squad for trying to help him up. The triple teaming puts HHH down for a change and Kenny gets two. A right hand into some choking from the floor sets up another right hand but Kenny is sent shoulder first into the post. More interference lets Johnny kick HHH in the face to give Kenny two and the group stomping is on again.

Back in and Kenny Tunes Up The Band but HHH counters (he’s seen it enough) with a DDT. A low blow cuts HHH down again though and it’s time to wrap the knee around the post a few times. Kenny starts pulling on the knee and drops some elbow but HHH kicks Mikey into the ropes to crotch Kenny down. The facebuster starts the comeback and HHH pounds away in the corner. There’s the spinebuster but the Pedigree attempt is broken up by more distractions. The next attempt is enough to finish Kenny off.

Rating: C-. While it was better than the rest of the matches on the show (the time helped a lot), this was a little bit too much HHH, as not only did he survive the 5-1 beatdown, but he won the match as clean as can be expected. It wasn’t the worst match, but HHH winning over these odds is kind of a lot to take.

Post match the beatdown is still on but HHH whips out a spare sledgehammer. HHH cleans house but here’s Vince to say next week, HHH joins his special club.

Overall Rating: D+. And there goes the hot streak, as they did advance stories in a logical way but it also included so many bad to very bad matches that the storyline stuff was overwhelmed. Throw in the double Kane thing and there was only so much that could be done. The Heyman/Foley showdown was rather good (as you might have guessed), but there were so many things that felt either shortsighted or just dumb that it was knocked backwards. Bad show, and hopefully not the start of a trend.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 22, 2006
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Smackdown has gotten through its pay per view now so it’s time for Raw to get ready for something of its own. In theory at least, as the next show is ECW One Night Stand, which could go in a lot of directions. This show has been a lot better than Smackdown as of late though so hopefully they keep it up here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with HHH accidentally hitting Shane McMahon in the face with a sledgehammer.

Vince McMahon is looking rather serious and says Shane only survived because of superior conditioning and genetics. Tonight, HHH is apologizing and if it is anything less than severe, HHH will incur his wrath.

Here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to open things up with something covered up in the ring. Mick thanks the fans for their support in light of the strange circumstances over the last few weeks. Contrary to popular belief, he is not a bad guy. He’s the guy who sticks his thumb and says how great it is to be right here in Las Vegas. Except it isn’t, because he doesn’t like a city where you can change your life on a gamble.

People should earn it like he did, because he didn’t become a three time WWE Champion with a roll of a dice. Foley is like this man, so here are Edge and Lita. After kissing Lita’s hand again and is blown away by her lack of a shirt. Anyway, Foley talks about how great of a hardcore match they had and they embody the entire hardcore style instead of what ECW did. That’s why he is giving Edge his Hardcore Title, which was given to him in his retirement ceremony. Edge puts the belt on his shoulder but says he can’t accept it….because he has the hottest girl in Vegas going to bed with him tonight.

Edge talks about everything Foley did for hardcore wrestling and knows Foley should be champion. Foley takes a shot at Ric Flair for calling him a glorified stuntman and earning a Wrestlemania paycheck by not dying in a ladder match. With that out of the way, Foley suggests one more hardcore match tonight to crown the real champion. Edge has a better idea and has Lilian Garcia announce them as co-champions.

Cue Paul Heyman to say he knows it’s legal here, but he’s looking at live prostitution in the ring. He actually doesn’t mean Lita because Mick Foley is prostituting his legacy for Edge and Lita. Foley has prostituted his name and legacy but he isn’t prostituting the name of hardcore. Instead, Foley can tell us what it means to look in the mirror and see a shell of yourself. Foley says he sees a co-holder of the Hardcore Title and a living legend. He finds it ironic that Heyman is talking about someone being a shell of himself because Heyman has nothing.

Heyman says he has no power, but he can make a challenge for One Night Stand: Edge/Mick Foley vs. any two ECW guys Heyman can drag up. Foley tells him to get out so Heyman says Lita is the only one in the ring with any testicles. Lita grabs her crotch but Edge says the match is on. The two of them go after Heyman so here are the opponents for the save: Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk.

The fight is on and the villains run off from the threat of violence. We get the ECW theme to make it even better, after another step in a perfectly well done story. Dreamer fits in really well here (yeah I said it) and Funk is always game, so this has a lot of potential. The promos have been great too, with Heyman being the only person who could say those things and hang with Foley.

The Diva Search is back. Does it have to be?

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Van Dam is challenging and shoulders Benjamin down to start. A floatover suplex gives Rob two but Shelton elbows him in the face. The stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Shelton rolls to the floor and we take a break. Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but Rob fights up and gets two off a sunset flip. Shelton’s neckbreaker gets the same and we’re back in the chinlock with a bodyscissors.

Back up and Shelton misses a Stinger Splash, allowing Rob to start the clothesline comeback. A spinning kick to the face gets two and another rollup gives Rob the same. Now Rolling Thunder connects for another near fall but Shelton is back with a Samoan drop, which clips the referee’s leg. Shelton brings in the title, which is kicked into Shelton’s face with the Van Daminator…for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were having a nice match and the ending keeps Van Dam hot while keeping the title on Benjamin. That’s as logical of a move as they could have had and I’ll take that over Van Dam losing via cheating. That briefcase seems ready to go and it would make a lot of sense for an ECW wrestler to use that at an ECW show.

Post match Rob gives Shelton a Five Star to make the fans smile.

Vince McMahon is with ZZ Top when Candice Michelle comes in. They seem impressed with her homemade pearl necklace.

We see the same video that opened the show.

Here’s Vince McMahon for a chat. He wastes no time in demanding that HHH get out here right now for the apology. After a few moments, here’s a serious looking HHH. Vince reminds HHH of what Shawn Michaels said to him a few months back, when Shawn told him to move on. HHH might want to remember what happened to Shawn since then before he gets to his apology.

Vince wants him to say two words, so HHH has two words for him: I’m sorry. Those are the right words, but there’s one more thing: HHH has to crush Shawn’s skull with a sledgehammer after the Spirit Squad beats Shawn tonight. HHH shakes his hand and says they have an understanding. Sounds shenanigansy.

Another look at See No Evil. At least it’s in theaters now so we can start getting away from these videos.

Kane says May 19 was the date that his family was killed in a fire but now he can no longer block all the pain. Now he has a movie out where he kills a lot of people and now he gets to let out some anger tonight. He’s never been better.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Masters punches away to start but gets slammed and elbowed for two. It’s too early for the FU and Masters blasts him with a clothesline to the floor. Back in and the delayed suplex gets two as we have some pro Cena chants. Cena blocks the Masterlock attempt and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena slugging away and hitting some clotheslines. The STFU makes Master tap in a hurry, with the post break stuff barely lasting thirty seconds.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here but was anyone doubting Cena’s chances against Masters? There is only so much you can get out of Masters in a main event roll because he is a one move wrestler. Cena barely broke a sweat here and that’s how it was supposed to go.

Post match here’s Rob Van Dam to say sup champ. He forced his way into this spot so now he wants his title shot in a place where he isn’t likely to get screwed. Like at One Night Stand. Cena is stunned by this for some reason and the fight is on. Masters tries to jump Cena and is quickly dispatched, allowing Van Dam to use the briefcase for a Van Daminator.

Carlito tries to get Maria to help him cheat in poker. They run into Snitsky, who is trying to hook up with a Las Vegas showgirl. He goes over to talk about her feet and offers her Chinese food and See No Evil. It’s Goldust for your gag of the night, which Carlito dubs “not cool”.

Shawn Michaels wants to know what HHH is thinking. He always respected HHH (oh here we go) but HHH sold his soul to the devil out there. Glaring ensues.

Trevor Murdoch thinks Tom Hanks will get an Oscar nomination over Kane. I think you know where this is going.

Kane vs. Trevor Murdoch

Chokeslam finishes in less than a minute.

The fans request and receive another chokeslam, with Kane adding a third for fun. The fire comes out of the posts….and Kane’s mask is on the screen. In what shouldn’t be a shock, the mask starts talking, saying this started on May 19 and will never be over.

This Week In Wrestling History: Scott Hall jumps the barricade. Again, not on the Network for some reason.

Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Torrie has new music. Mickie drives her into the corner to start but Torrie is back with a rollup. The swinging neckbreaker gets two on Mickie and they mistime a hot shot. Mickie hammers away and finishes with the MickieDT before it can get worse.

Post match here’s Trish Stratus to say Beth Phoenix is now part of the roster. Beth jumps Mickie at ringside and the chase is on through the crowd.

Here’s Viscera to say it’s time to settle down….with Lilian Garcia. Lilian gets in the ring and cuts Viscera off, saying he dumped her for Godfather’s ladies the last time they were in Vegas. Viscera has something for her here though: a cheeseburger. See, if they get married in a chapel tonight, she can cook for him every day so he doesn’t have to eat cheeseburgers every day. He drops to a knee but here’s Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt. Viscera has a little problem, so here’s Umaga for the brawl, with Viscera being crushed against the post. The beating continues until the Samoan Spike leaves Viscera laying.

Another See No Evil video.

The Spirit Squad tells HHH to stay in the back until they give him a signal. Those are Vince’s orders, and HHH doesn’t seem thrilled.

WATCH ONE NIGHT STAND!

Shawn Michaels vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title and it’s a big pop for Shawn, who comes to the ring with a chair. Hang on though as here’s Vince to say we won’t need a referee or that chair either. The referee takes it away and leaves as the Squad comes in to start the fight in a hurry. The Upsa Daisy plants Shawn and the series of moonsaults has Vince rather pleased on the stage.

There’s a double suplex and a lot of stomping, plus a big running clothesline in the corner (with the Squad providing a double step up). Hold on though as Shawn gets in a few shots before grabbing the chair to even things up a bit. The top rope elbow connects on Mikey and there’s Sweet Chin Music to make it worse. Nicky chairs Shawn’s knee out though and they rip the gear off of his leg.

The fans chant for HHH as the knee brace is taken off. Kenny Pillmanizes the leg with a top rope legdrop so NOW Vince calls HHH down to the ring. Cue HHH with the sledgehammer but Kenny takes it away because he wants to do it. HHH steps in front of him and beats the Squad down himself as we have a face turn (or at least most of one) to end the show.

Rating: D. There wasn’t a ref and there wasn’t an ending so I don’t think you can really call this a match, but the bell did ring. This was more of the same with Vince stacking the deck but this time they changed it up a bit, which is a good way to mix it up. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and it was only a match in the loosest sense of the word anyway.

Overall Rating: B. This show is nailing it as of late as they are doing almost everything you could want in two hours. There are new people being introduced and developed, an interesting main event, some good action and One Night Stand is looking promising. The biggest issue is having too much See No Evil stuff, but I can forgive that well enough. Rather good show here as Raw’s roll continues.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 2006
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting interesting around here as we have the mostly uncombined forces of John Cena, Shawn Michaels and HHH vs. Vince and Shane McMahon, plus the Spirit Squad. It’s certainly a different enough looking feud and I’m curious about how it is going to go. Throw in the new alliance of Edge/Mick Foley/Lita and things are actually getting good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

Must be sweeps week. Cena is defending…or at least he would be if Vince McMahon didn’t come out instead of him. Vince says the title match is being changed up, because the Intercontinental Title will be defended at the same time. It’s going to be a three on two handicap tornado tag team match with both titles on the line.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: John Cena/Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin/HHH/Chris Masters

Cena and Van Dam are defending, there are no tags and one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Cena and HHH brawling on the floor while Van Dam hurricanranas Shelton. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take everyone out and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting a running shoulder into a powerslam but HHH sends him outside.

Shelton hits a spinwheel kick to send Cena over the barricade and it’s Van Dam getting triple teamed. HHH and Shelton get in an argument over the pin so Masters puts Van Dam in the Masterlock, which is the smartest thing he has ever done. That’s broken up so Van Dam spinwheel kicks Benjamin and Cena is back in for the running clotheslines.

There’s the Shuffle to Masters but Cena has to backdrop his way out of the Pedigree. Masters breaks up the STF on Benjamin but Rob comes back in with the Five Star. HHH gives Van Dam the Pedigree and there’s an FU to Masters. Another Pedigree takes Cena down but Shelton covers Van Dam for the Intercontinental Title just a second before HHH covers Cena for a nice annoyed visual from HHH.

Rating: C+. This was a complete action match and I liked the concept. There’s something fun about the complete insanity and having different options for people to win titles. Shelton getting the title back is a little annoying but Van Dam can move on with the briefcase, which is a lot more important anyway.

During the break, HHH wasn’t interested in commenting.

Here’s Trish Stratus, with the arm still in a sling, for a chat. She and Mickie James have some unfinished business so get down here right now. Mickie comes down and she’s ready to go but the blonde fan from last week jumps in. The fan chases Mickie off and Trish names her as Beth. The new woman shouts that Mickie is a psycho and Beth isn’t forgetting what Mickie did to her.

Clip from the See No Evil premiere with a bunch of wrestlers in attendance.

This week in wrestling history: Bruno Sammartino b. Buddy Rogers in 48 seconds to win the World Title. This isn’t on the Network for some reason.

Shane McMahon comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what that was. Apparently that was HHH’s title shot so now it’s time for HHH to return the favor. Shane mentions the main event, where he’ll be the guest referee. I’m not sure what that has to do with HHH but how else were they going to make that announcement?

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Goldust/Snitsky

The Squad (Johnny/Nicky) is defending. Johnny’s headlock doesn’t work so it’s off to Goldust for the jumping hip attack. Nicky comes in and gets his arm cranked a bit until the rest of the Squad trips Goldust down. The front facelock keeps Goldust in trouble and a clothesline gives Johnny two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldust fights up for the powerslam. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house but it’s a springboard bulldog from Mikey to put him down and give Johnny the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. There was no drama and it was the usual shenanigans from the Squad. They’re exciting enough with the trampoline and all that jazz, but they work a lot better as the goons than as the team holding the titles. It was passable for a short enough match, but that’s about all you can give it here.

Here’s Mick Foley, who says it’s true: Melina was looking at him at Kane’s movie premiere (Foley: “YES!”). As for last week, it’s true that he attacked Tommy Dreamer and kissed Lita, the girlfriend of his sworn enemy, on the hand. He owes us an apology, so he does just that but since Tommy Dreamer can’t be here due to a bad reaction to a barbed wire baseball bat.

Instead, Foley has a special guest: TERRY FUNK, complete with a clip of the dumpster match from Wrestlemania XIV. Foley gives him a warm greeting but Terry says not so fast Cactus. Funk wants to know why Foley did what he did to Tommy Dreamer. Foley: “You don’t want to know.” Mick talks about the history he made with Edge at Wrestlemania but now you have ECW freaks coming in and trying to talk about hardcore.

There are three things Foley will defend with his life: the honor of his wife, the honor of his children and the honor of his legacy as a hardcore wrestling. Funk says Foley is ECW, which means he’s family. They have broken each others’ bones over the years and fought together, but Funk has always put his arm around Foley. Funk says Foley is like a son to him and they hug, with Foley seeming touched.

Foley says this is the first time they have been in a WWE ring together since 1998, but it wasn’t supposed to be that long. Back in 2003, Foley was honored in a ceremony on Raw with all of the hardcore legends….except Terry Funk. Foley asked where Funk was but was told that Terry was at home because he wanted too much money to be there. Funk gets serious and Foley tells him to shut his mouth.

Foley is going to get a phone call a few years from now, saying that Funk is gone and they want him at the funeral. He’ll come but it’s going to cost a lot of money to make Foley come to a dump like west Texas. Foley will cash in the frequent flier miles if he has to but he’ll there just so he can spit on Funk’s grave. Funk: “YOU GOT YOUR NERVE FOLEY! I’M GONNA JOHN WAYNE YOUR A**!”

Funk tells him to take his best shot and slaps him in the face over and over but Foley won’t fight back. Funk: “Hey Foley! If I had a head like yours, I’d have it circumcised!” That’s almost too far for Foley, so Funk says it again. Foley goes to leave so Funk says his wife is a wh***. Funk: “HEY FOLEY! HEY FOLEY! YOUR KIDS ARE B*******!” Funk says the WWE sucked and that’s enough to get Foley swinging but Funk punches him back. Cue Edge, who gets knocked into the corner as well but Lita gets in a low blow. A barbed wire bat shot puts Funk down and it’s Mr. Socko into the spear to leave Funk laying.

The Funk vs. Foley stuff was outstanding for more than a few reasons. First and foremost, it’s Terry Funk, who is someone where the more I see of him, the more in awe I am of him. He has been around forever but there is such a reputation there that you can’t help but respect him. On top of that, he is such an awesome promo that you believe every single thing he says.

Then there’s Foley, who is a legend in his own right but you can feel the respect that he has for Funk. It’s such a personal connection and that is the kind of thing that made Foley seem vulnerable. You can see both sides of this and why Foley is angry, but Funk is trying to patch things up and Foley is having none of it. Then Funk pushed every button the Foley told him would work and it all spilled out from there.

In other words, they set up the stakes, they gave it an emotional aspect and then it all played out as it should have. This was two great talkers doing what they know how to do and sucking the fans in the whole way. The history between them made this the kind of thing that was going to work for these two more than anyone else. This was excellent and I was pulled all the way into it at the beginning and never left.

Here’s Matt Striker to insult Texas for not being that smart. Oh and immigrants are bad.

Matt Striker vs. Eugene

Eugene has a big red cowboy hat and Striker cracks up a bit. After a run around the ring with the hat, Eugene gets caught in the corner and the beating begins. A cravate and some shouting has Eugene in trouble, followed by the right hands to the head. Striker calls him a moron, but then does the moronic thing of ramming him head first into the buckle. The comeback is on and it’s the big boot into the legdrop for two. Striker grabs a neckbreaker though and puts a knee on the back of Eugene’s neck before snapping him backwards onto the knee (Zack Ryder’s Zack Attack) for the pin in a hurry. This was fine.

Video on Kane as the movie press junket continues.

We look back at the double title match earlier.

Maria asks Carlito why he attacked Matt Striker and Eugene last week. Carlito ignores the question to hit on her but she likes the Spit Or Swallow shirt. I think you know where this is going and Carlito finds it cool.

Vince McMahon is trying to kiss Candice Michelle when an annoyed HHH comes in. Vince praises him a bit and hands him a sledgehammer to bash Shawn Michaels’ head in. Do that, and it’s a new era. Vince: “Go get em champ.”

Armando Alejandro Estrada introduces Umaga’s opponent. He is the toughest man in Texas, but Umaga (now officially dubbed the Samoan Bulldozer) isn’t from Texas.

Umaga vs. Chris Wellman

The running splash in the corner starts the destruction (Estrada: “I think that hurt.”) and it continues on the floor, complete with a choke toss off the steps for a good crash. Back in and it’s the corner headbutt into the running hip attack into the Samoan Spike for the easy pin. Another total squash.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Spirit Squad has a special cheer for Shane McMahon.

Third look at See No Evil.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kenny

Shane McMahon is guest referee and HHH, with sledgehammer, is in Kenny’s corner. Shawn wastes no time in knocking Kenny outside before hammering away in the corner back inside. Shane gets in a cheap shot so Kenny can hammer away but Shawn takes it to the floor. Some chops rock Kenny but Shane throws Shawn off the top to put him in trouble again. Kenny gets a quick DDT for a quicker two and a jumping back elbow to the face gets the same.

Shane takes off his belt, hands it to Kenny, and can’t help but yawn. The belt goes around Shawn’s throat and we hit the chinlock. Kenny holds Shawn up and Shane tells HHH to do it now. Shawn fights out and hits the flying forearm before taking the belt away to send Shane running.

The top rope elbow hits Kenny and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock him silly. Shane is back to hit three straight backbreakers and hold Shawn up for HHH. The sledgehammer hits Shane by mistake and knows he screwed up. Cue Vince to wave medics down and hold Shane like he’s been shot. HHH apologizes and leaves to end the show as the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. This was as good as it could have been as it was angle advancement rather than a match. There was no need for it to be anything else as the Spirit Squad isn’t going to go any higher or lower with or without a win. HHH screwing up and hitting Shane means Vince isn’t going to be happy and you can feel the momentum for the turn coming. They’re taking their time though, as they should. You can’t turn a huge villain like HHH face instantly so he should be taking his time. Oh and Shawn was here too.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was starting off rather well but then it hit a big bump halfway through. The Foley/Funk segment was very good and the opener was very energized, but then the main event and the squash matches didn’t exactly help things. Overall it’s a good show and I want to see where some of these things go, so they’re doing something right. Just get rid of the bad and they’ll have a hit on their hands.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 8, 2006
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 15,290
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’m not sure what the focus is going to be here as we had the big Joey Styles angle last week, along with what looks to be Shawn Michaels/HHH vs. the McMahons/the Spirit Squad. That could make for some interesting moments, as could Edge vs. Mick Foley in another hardcore match, which probably won’t be as good as Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of what seems to be the beginning of HHH vs. Vince McMahon, which might be putting HHH/Shawn Michaels vs. Vince N Pals. What could go wrong there?

Opening sequence.

Hey JR is back. That’s an improvement.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He isn’t out here to be a referee or fight with Vince McMahon. The only thing he wants to do is be the WWE Champion so John Cena needs to get out here right now. Cue Cena, to say HHH has ten championships. The New York Yankees have like twenty seven, but that doesn’t mean they get the easy pass to the World Series. Cena knows what HHH has done, but around here, what has he done lately? Actually who cars because we can have a title match right now. HHH is pleasantly surprised and says get a referee down here.

Instead he gets Vince, who says this isn’t happening right now. HHH says he knows Vince wanted Kenny to win the title, but that would just be going from a poser to a cheerleader. Cena says hang on because there’s nothing wrong with being a poser. He had some great poses after he pinned HHH and after he made HHH tap out. HHH says his favorite Cena pose was him being flat on his back after HHH knocked him out.

Cena looks ready to go so HHH appeals to Vince, but that’s Mr. McMahon to him. Vince is the boss, not his friend, but he’ll change his mind: HHH can have a title match, just not tonight. Instead, he has the rest of the night off, but Cena doesn’t. Instead, Cena can team up with Shawn Michaels against the Spirit Squad. Cena tells Vince what he can kiss but Vince says cut the mic. For right now, let’s have a four way for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Charlie Haas vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters

Van Dam is defending and has a quick staredown with Cena on the way to the ring. Before the match, Van Dam agrees with everything Joey Styles had to say and it was a gutsy move to say them. Instead of hearing RVD, Van Dam wants to hear ECW. Masters and Benjamin jump the other two to start and it’s a double shoulder to Haas. Rob comes back in and starts striking away, including the top rope kick to Masters. More kicks take down Haas and Benjamin and we take a break.

Back with Rob in trouble for a change and the fans ignoring his pro-ECW chanting wishes. Rolling Thunder hits Benjamin as Haas is sent outside, leaving Benjamin to suplex Van Dam. Haas comes back in for some dropkicks and another suplex gets two on Rob. Masters gets sent outside but Benjamin kicks Haas down for two of his own. Rob gets some fast twos on Shelton, who is right back with a backbreaker on the champ. Back up and Benjamin grabs a Samoan drop on Haas but gets clotheslined by Masters. There’s the Masterlock to Haas but Van Dam comes in with a top rope sunset flip to pin Masters and retain.

Rating: C. This didn’t have a ton of time when you took out the commercial but it was nice to see Van Dam overcome some odds to retain. Giving him win after win is going to make him seem like a much more viable challenger for the World Title when he gets the chance. Wins and losses do matter in something like this and I’m really not sure why that is so hard to figure out.

We look at See No Evil, with the production crew thinking Kane is a little out there.

The cast of See No Evil is here to say Kane really is evil. Cue Kane to choke one of them out. Neither of these two segments are on the Network.

Carlito vs. Matt Striker

Carlito wastes no time in hitting a dropkick but gets taken down with a backbreaker. Striker hammers away and we’re in the early chinlock. Some clotheslines get Carlito out of trouble and there’s the springboard back elbow. Cue Eugene to go after Striker for the fast DQ.

Post match Carlito beats up Striker and gives Eugene a Backstabber, as he should.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore and Edge and Lita are dressed like they were at Wrestlemania. Before the match, Edge says in real life, the bad guys win so Foley can get out here and take his beating. Foley has his own barbed wire baseball bat and since they had the best hardcore match ever, whoever wins tonight is going to be the best hardcore wrestler in the world today. However, we can’t do that without having ECW included, which is why this match is being changed.

Edge vs. Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore. Edge bails to the floor to start so Foley hits Dreamer in the back with a barbed wire bat. Foley hands it off to Edge for a shot to Dreamer’s face and the double beatdown is on, with Lita getting in for a bonus. Mr. Socko goes on and Edge adds a spear for a double pin on Dreamer.

Post match Foley kisses Lita’s hand and the three leave together.

Mickie James vs. Maria

Non-title and Maria has Trish Stratus, with her arm in a sling, in her corner. An early Trish distraction lets Maria grab a rollup for two but Mickie kicks her down. Some rather taunting shots to the face set up the MickieDT for the easy pin.

Post match Mickie stays on Maria so Trish comes in to stare her down. Mickie beats her down anyway, so here’s a blonde “fan” to jump Mickie until security breaks it up. Mickie screams that the woman ruins everything as the woman is arrested. I think we’ll be seeing the blonde woman again.

Umaga vs. Kevin Martenson/Tommy Wilson

Martenson is still floating around the indies today. The destruction is on in a hurry with Wilson being sent outside, leaving Martenson to be choke suplexed off the top. The Tree of Woe headbutt connects and there’s the running hip attack against the barricade. Wilson takes the Samoan Spike for the easy pin. Total devastation, as it should have been.

Kane vs. Big Show

They start with a fist bump and then actually go to the mat for the technical exchange (someone pull up the Twilight Zone theme). Show takes him down with a drop toehold and JR (JR: “Well cut off my legs and call me shorty.”) is more than a little surprised. Show picks him up for the takedown and Kane looks a little impressed.

They fight over a hammerlock until Show drop toeholds him down. Kane is back up with a hammerlock of his own before sending Show face first into the middle buckle. Then the red lights are back on and, with Kane’s old mask on the screen, Kane’s voice says it’s happening again on May 19. The lights come back up and Kane grabs a chair to unload on Show.

Rating: D+. Well they certainly did something different before getting to the stupid ending. I really can’t wait for the movie to come out so we can get on from this already, as it isn’t exactly much more than Kane hearing voices and saying the date over and over. It’s fine for a weird marketing campaign, but it gets annoying having it take over everything Kane does for the last few weeks.

The Spirit Squad fires itself up.

Spirit Squad vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena

Non-title. Shawn and Kenny start things off with Kenny shouting about how Shawn cost him the title last week. That earns him some slaps to the face and it’s Cena coming in to face Nicky. They go to the mat with Nicky getting the better of it until Cena fights up with the running shoulders. The Squad bails to the floor and Kenny is tossed onto the rest of the team for the big crash as we take a break.

Back with Cena cleaning house but Johnny uses the distraction to hit a spinwheel kick for two. Cena is sent outside and it’s the trampoline clothesline to take him down again. They head back inside and Kenny gets to unload in the corner, followed by the jumping back elbow for two. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Cena misses a running crossbody. Nicky comes in for two off some right hands and we hit the sleeper.

A running knee to the head gets two and it’s right back to the neck crank. Cena fights up but gets caught by a cheap shot from the apron. The group beatdown sets up a suplex for two on Cena but Johnny misses a Swanton. The diving tag brings in Shawn to clean house, including the flying forearm into the nip up as everything breaks down. In the melee, Kenny gets in a title shot to Shawn for the quick pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t supposed to be anything great but they also made sure to get to the point. There is no shame in having two top stars losing to a group of five people with cheating involved so it worked as well as anything else they could do to keep the Squad looking like threats.

Post match Kenny decks the referee and steals his belt to whip Shawn. Cena fights back but walks into a Pedigree from HHH to end the show. Works for me for the pay per view level Raw main event.

Overall Rating: C+. They’re doing some things around here which make me curious to see more. The Edge/Foley stuff is a nice twist and hopefully means we get some evil Foley promos in the future. I’m also digging the HHH face turn as he really does need to do something fresh after so many years of being the big bad. That stuff is all working, but at the same time you have the Spirit Squad, Eugene/Matt Striker and the See No Evil campaign. The good is rather good, but the other end is dragging it down hard. Overall, good stuff though and I want to see where it’s going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 2006
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

Backlash has come and gone and that means things are going to be slowing down a little bit. There is no Raw pay per view in May so the next one is coming up in June with One Night Stand. The big story coming out of last night saw HHH pretty much turning face despite losing in the main event where John Cena retained the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon brags about beating Shawn Michaels and God so tonight, he’s taking the night off. As for tonight, the Spirit Squad is in charge as the co-General Managers. The team comes in and says Kenny is going to face John Cena for the World Title, thanks to winning a Spirit Straw drawing. This is going to be a very loud night.

Opening sequence.

Torrie Wilson/Maria vs. Victoria/Mickie James

As per the Spirit Squad’s orders, they’re all in cheerleaders outfits. Mickie and Victoria jump them to start and it’s Torrie in early trouble. She manages a drop toehold to bring Victoria down though and it’s off to Maria to beat up both villains at once. Torrie gives Victoria a Stink Face and Maria hits a Bronco Buster on Mickie, which just annoys Victoria all over again. Mickie tries to suplex Maria back inside but here’s Trish to trip her up, giving Maria the fluke pin.

Spirit Squad vs. Eugene/Snitsky/Goldust

The unlikely trio is dubbed the Odd Squad. Goldust and Mikey (Why did they drop the gear that had their names?) start but it’s quickly off to Eugene to chop him in the head. Eugene misses a charge into the post as we see Candice Michelle sitting on Vince’s lap. Nicky comes in to beat on Eugene and get two and Johnny grabs a chinlock. Eugene fights up and hits a Rock Bottom on Mikey, allowing the hot tag to Snitsky. That means a big boot to Nicky so Johnny comes back in. Everything breaks down and the Johnny Go Round kick finishes Eugene.

Rating: D+. This was just a showcase win for the Spirit Squad and it worked out as well as could be expected. The Spirit Squad is good enough and that means they can get a little something out of a nothing match like this. If nothing else they didn’t bother with drama here because it would have been a pretty big waste of time.

During the break, Mickie James beat up Maria during the Kiss Cam.

Eugene is asked how it feels to lose, sending him into a far more coherent than usual talk about how he still has a job, unlike his Uncle Eric. Matt Striker jumps him with a dictionary.

This Week In Wrestling History: Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon beat Shawn Michaels and God at Backlash 2006.

The Spirit Squad comes in to see Shawn (with Big Show and Charlie Haas for a weird trio). Tonight, he can have the night off as a wrestler but he’s going to be the referee for Kane vs. Rob Conway. Oh and he has a special referee shirt with MAY 19 written all over.

We look back at Kane going nuts against Big Show last night. You remember: when we could hear his thoughts for some reason.

Kane vs. Rob Conway

Shawn Michaels is guest referee and Conway finds his plight rather funny. Therefore, Shawn jumps him and puts the MAY 19 shirt on him. Cue Kane and the destruction is on in a hurry. Kane hammers away as Shawn chills on the middle rope. Conway tries to escape over the barricade and is quickly pulled back by the somewhat partial referee. Shawn grabs a trashcan and just happens to look away when Kane hits Conway in the head. There’s the chokeslam and Kane leaves, only to have Shawn grab a mic and say May 19 a few times. That’s enough for Kane to comeback for a Tombstone to complete the destruction. This was funny.

Umaga vs. Rory Fox

Umaga smashes the guy and finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Candice Michelle is glad that Vince has healed his cold and asks for help with, and I quote, her labiagitis. A very banged up HHH comes in to interrupt and Vince offers him the special guest referee spot in the main event. That doesn’t quite work as HHH should just get the title shot but Vince isn’t sure. HHH sees it as punishment but if Kenny wins the title, he wants the first shot. Otherwise, HHH might not do it. Vince highly suggests that HHH be referee tonight because Vince remembers HHH calling him an old man. If HHH doesn’t do it, he won’t get another title shot until he’s an old man.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge, with Edge not being happy because he wasn’t pinned last night. Therefore, he still has a claim to the WWE Title. He’s used to it though, because his Wrestlemania match was ruined too. Yes he stole the show, but it was called by some ECW reject. Edge: “OH MY GOD Joey you suck.” With that out of the way, here’s Mick Foley as this week’s guest. Foley says he remembers the Wrestlemania match too and has spent the last month trying to find out what went wrong.

The more he watches it though, the more he realizes that nothing was wrong. He was more violent than ever and he was part of maybe the greatest hardcore match in wrestling history. On that one night, he was face to face with the toughest man in the WWE. Foley shakes his hand and the fans are really unsure about this one. Even though he lost the match, he got the defining Wrestlemania moment, just like Edge said he would. We see the end of the match with Edge looking traumatized after the spear into the flaming table. Foley: “THERE IT IS!”

Foley saw the look in Edge’s eyes, knowing that it was all downhill for him. Now Foley wants to go through this again right here tonight. Edge says he’s overcoming strep throat….but Foley is on. (Joey: “NEXT WEEK!”) He’s on crack that is because that isn’t happening. Just out of principle though, Edge will face Foley in any match he wants next week. Foley thinks the name Cutting Edge is appropriate, because next week, he’ll be cutting Edge with anything he can find. Save up that throat so you can scream for mercy. Oh and try to have a nice day. There was something odd about this and I think that’s the point.

Video on Backlash.

Here’s Chris Masters to say that last night’s loss to Carlito was a fluke. If Carlito tries that again, he’ll be spitting teeth instead of apples. Moving on though, Rob Van Dam may have won the Intercontinental Title but he can’t break the Masterlock. Cue Van Dam to take the challenge but here’s Shelton Benjamin to jump Van Dam as the hold goes on. Carlito runs in for the save with a chair so here’s Nicky to cheer a tag announcement.

Carlito/Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters

Joined in progress with Masters holding a chinlock and we cut to Vince and Candice canoodling. Back with Shelton holding his own chinlock as Joey has received a note at ringside. The Spirit Squad wants to see him in the back right now as Shelton gets two. So Lawler is on his own on commentary as Rob scores with a spinwheel kick on Masters.

The hot tag brings in Carlito as Lawler is actually managing to do play by play. Masters decks Carlito from behind and Shelton adds a kick to the head. Van Dam comes in with the top rope kick to the face and Carlito Backstabs Masters. A rollup with trunks gives Carlito the pin on Shelton.

Rating: C-. They got some action into a pretty short match, though I’m almost scared to see where the Styles deal is going. What we got was good enough and the Intercontinental Title picture is starting to get interesting. Van Dam tends to be the placeholder champion more than anything else so I’m not sure where this is going, but it could work well.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Spirit Squad shoves Joey onto a couch and says they want to hear more spirit from him. Otherwise, they’ll have Vince make him wear a cheerleader outfit for commentary next week. They want extra spirit when he announces that Kenny is the new WWE Champion.

Post break Joey returns to commentary and Lawler calls him a cheerleader. Lawler wants to hear the Kenny line but Joey doesn’t want to do this. ECW is mentioned, and Joey says if this was ECW, he wouldn’t be working with a hack like Lawler. Joey takes off his glasses and slaps Lawler, who calls him a little idiot and shoves him down. Styles walks off and then runs to the back. Well that made the show better. Joey being gone, not the angle.

Post another break, Lawler apologizes and asks Joey to come back out here and finish the show. Joey, sans glasses, comes out to the stage and says he isn’t coming back. Thanks to the magic of live TV, he is going to show the world why he was the uncensored loose cannon of commentary for seven years in ECW. Six months ago, WWE called him because they had humiliated and fired JR again.

From week one, he has gotten an ongoing lecture between wrestling and sports entertainment. He can’t say things like wrestler or wrestling because it’s sports entertainment with superstars. Styles is supposed to ignore the moves and holds to tell stories. Well that’s insulting to wrestlers who leave their families to ply their craft in that ring. That’s why he was pulled from Wrestlemania because he doesn’t sound like Jim Ross. Then he gets bumped from BACKLASH? He called live pay per views in ECW because he was good enough to do it on his own.

Joey is sick of sports entertainment and storytelling and bathroom humor. He’s also sick of Vince McMahon mocking God and making out with the Divas for his own amusement. Finally he’s sick of the fans who buy this garbage. He never needed this job or wanted this job so he quits. Lawler isn’t impressed and seems to be finishing on his own.

It was a nice speech, but at the end of the day, Joey is hardly some saint of commentary and I’ll be glad to have JR back. Yeah Joey can call a lot of moves. That would make him a heck of a radio announcer, but when I can see all of the moves as they happen, I don’t need to have someone calling every single one of them. That being said, a lot of the other things that he said was rather accurate, though there is no reason to believe that this is going to be some big game changer.

Todd Grisham joins commentary.

Raw World Title: Kenny vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, HHH is guest referee and the rest of the Spirit Squad is here. Cena isn’t looking thrilled here but he hammers Kenny into the ring and hits a delayed vertical suplex. The FU is loaded up but HHH punches him in the face (I can go with not wasting time with being subtle) and the Squad piles onto him outside. Back in and Kenny hammers on the wounded head from last night.

Cena is sent outside for another group beatdown, including a whip into the steps. That’s good for two, as is a jumping elbow to the face. Kenny does a You Can’t See Me neckbreaker, causing HHH to rather halfheartedly go does to cover again. That’s enough for Kenny, who shoves HHH and gets punched down. There’s the Pedigree and HHH tells the Spirit Squad to bring it.

They only get on the apron and that’s enough for HHH, who walks off. Cue Shawn Michaels in his own referee shirt but first he has to have the big dramatic staredown with HHH. Kenny hits the top rope legdrop so Shawn comes in to count two before stopping. Sweet Chin Music drops Kenny and it’s Cena and Shawn beating up the Squad. Shawn superkicks Mikey and feigns sleepwalking, leaving Cena to FU Kenny to retain.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here as this was a pretty easy way to end the show. There was no chance that Kenny was winning but they didn’t really waste time teasing that he would. The Shawn/HHH/Cena stuff is interesting as they’re swapping Shawn into Edge’s spot (yeah I’m stunned too) but at least we got something pretty fast paced which didn’t waste time before getting to the obvious finish.

Post match Shawn and Cena shake hands with Shawn throwing him the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was definitely the night off show after last night’s pay per view, but they set some stuff up for later. The part that worries me is setting up Joey Styles as the big angle, even if it isn’t going to be some top story. Angles involving people like commentators or referees rarely work because they aren’t the important parts of the show, but if it gets JR back, I’ll take it. Other than that, the show was a lot of short matches, though they should set up some important stuff later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Backlash 2006
Date: April 30, 2006
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very special show for me as I was in the audience live. It was the first pay per view I ever got to attend live and the only one I would see in person for about fourteen years. We have a two match show here with John Cena defending the World Title against HHH and Edge in a triple threat, plus Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon in a match that can’t possibly take place without a lot of cringing. Let’s get to it.

For a bonus, here’s the pre-show match from Sunday Night Heat.

Rob Conway vs. Goldust

Goldust does his crouch to start and the fans certainly seem to approve. A knee to the ribs sets up a running hip attack, which commentary finds hilarious. Conway’s clothesline gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and simultaneous crossbodies put both guys down for a bit and it’s time to slug it out. A neckbreaker gives Conway two but Goldust is back with some right hands. The chest rub right hands in the corner have Conway in more trouble and it’s the scoop powerslam to give Goldust the pin.

Rating: C-. The action wasn’t the point here and there is nothing wrong with that. They did what they were supposed to do by getting the crowd warmed up with some people they would have recognized (Conway was an OVW legend and the TV show aired in Lexington). Throw in Conway’s completely obnoxious music and it was easy to cheer for Goldust to beat him.

The opening video focuses on Vince McMahon’s war against Shawn Michaels, including the always awesome visual of Vince’s bloody smile from ringside at Wrestlemania XIX. The triple threat gets some attention as well, as they are the only two matches that matter.

At least they aren’t using the still wrong line of Rupp Arena being on the campus of the University of Kentucky.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Carlito slaps him in the face to start and gets choked with his own shirt as a result. A basement dropkick into a running faceplant gives Carlito two but Masters is back with a backdrop. Carlito slips out of a gorilla press and tries his own full nelson, which is broken up in a hurry. They head outside with Carlito hitting a dive and then hammering away back inside. That earns him a buckle bomb as the fans think that Masters suck, allowing JR to get in some always well deserved jabs at the University of Louisville.

We hit the neck crank for a bit, followed by an elbow to Carlito’s jaw and then into another neck crank. The comeback is cut off by a clothesline but Carlito slips out of the Masterlock attempt. A springboard elbow drops Masters and Carlito throws an apple at him for a distraction. Masters sends him into the corner again but the belly to back superplex is broken up. Carlito’s moonsault press gets two and he sends Masters into the corner. The Backstabber finishes Masters.

Rating: C+. Pretty much an above average Raw match here and that’s not the worst way to open a B pay per view. Masters even had a logical offense by softening up the neck while Carlito used the high flying to fight against the power game. It’s a good enough match and that’s all it needed to be in this spot.

Maria throws us to some fans giving their predictions earlier today. Lita comes in and says no one cares what Roscoe P. Coltrane thinks about the match (because Kentucky is full of country bumpk….carry on) and she is tired of keeping her mouth shut. Maria has heard otherwise about Lita’s mouth, so Lita offers to knock her out. Edge is winning tonight and they’ll have a private celebration because unlike these people, she actually gets some.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada handles Umaga’s introduction. Flair jumps Umaga on the floor to start but gets taken into the corner for the right hands. A quick referee distraction lets Flair get in a low blow and then does it again for a bonus. Umaga doesn’t seem to mind and hits him in the throat for a knockdown.

Flair rolls to the floor and hits some rather hard chops before avoiding a charge into the post. Back in and Flair starts taking out the knee but it’s way too early for the Figure Four. The Tree of Woe headbutt sets up the running hip attack in the corner and Flair is in big trouble. Umaga’s middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was almost a squash and that’s all it needed to be. The important thing here about Flair is that he knew he could pop right back up like it was nothing because he had been a made man for about fifteen years. That means he can put someone like Umaga over and have no real damage whatsoever, which is a rather valuable lesson to know.

Vince McMahon is flexing in the back when Shane McMahon comes in to say it isn’t a handicap match tonight. Shane needs to leave God to Vince because Vince can do anything God can. To demonstrate, Vince pours water on the floor and walks on it, then pulls out a fish and some bread. He doesn’t quite know the story but he looks to the ceiling and someone off screen throws in a bunch of fish. Vince sees this as a sign because it’s HOLY MACKEREL. Vince leaves and Shane drinks some water, which now looks a lot more purple. Shane: “Uh, dad?”

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for Mickie’s Women’s Title. Mickie was obsessed with Trish and stalked her for months before winning the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania. Trish responded by dressing like Mickie and playing her own minds games. It’s time for the big rematch.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Mickie is challenging and they’re dressed as themselves. Trish shrugs off a wristlock to start and busts out the Matrish into a headscissors. A kick to the head sends Mickie outside for the Thesz press off the apron into some right hands. Back in and Mickie hammers away in the corner but Trish gets sent over the top and out to the floor… and that’s a dislocated shoulder. Back in and Mickie hammers away, followed by some choking for the VERY sudden DQ. I’m not going to rate it as they had barely gotten started when the shoulder went out but it was looking good early on. Trish would be out for nearly two months.

Shawn Michaels says God is with him as he always is. Tonight is a handicap match though and the McMahons are being brought down to their knees again.

Intercontinental Title/Money In The Bank Briefcase: Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Shelton’s title and Rob’s briefcase are both on the line and it’s winner take all. Commentary starts talking about the missing Mama Benjamin plus the time where Vince McMahon performed surgery on JR. Ross: “What great programming that was.” Shelton bounces around and armdrags Rob over, leaving Rob with a “so that’s how it is” look on his face. Rob’s rollup sets up his own armdrags and the threat of a spinning kick to the face sends Shelton bailing to the corner.

The fans want Mama (I was disappointed too) as Rob knocks him outside but Shelton comes back in with a knee to the face. Rob hits a spinwheel kick into some clotheslines so Shelton goes outside again. That means a slingshot dive but Shelton catches him on the way back in. A big running sunset bomb to the floor (THUD) drops Rob hard and we hit the chinlock back inside. Shelton grabs a backbreaker into another chinlock, followed by the reverse chinlock to mix it up a bit.

Some slams stay on the back and there’s another chinlock. It’s too early for the exploder, but Shelton reverses Rolling Thunder into a Samoan drop for two. The Five Star is broken up so it’s off to another chinlock (I think we get the point). Rob fights up with some kicks to the face and now Rolling Thunder connects for two more. There’s a split legged moonsault for another near fall but the Five Star misses as well.

Shelton hits a hard DDT for his own two so he grabs the briefcase, which draws Rob outside. A kick to the head cuts Rob off but he’s right back in with a hurricanrana. Rob gets shoved into the referee so Shelton grabs the briefcase. Van Dam takes it away though and it’s a Van Daminator into the Five Star to give Rob the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The chinlocks got a bit annoying here but the result worked well. I liked the winner takes all deal as I couldn’t imagine Van Dam losing the briefcase so adding the potential that he could win the title helped boost things up a bit. Van Dam is getting some momentum built up at the moment and if they have him cash in a little faster than Edge, it could make for a heck of a title showdown.

We recap Kane vs. Big Show. They had been dominant Tag Team Champions but then lost them to the Spirit Squad. Soon thereafter, Kane became obsessed with anyone mentioning May 19 and eventually snapped when Big Show said it. Kane went for Show’s eye and drew a lot of blood, setting up this match so Show can try to beat some sense into him.

Big Show talks about how May 19 is the release date of Kane’s movie. So Kane has problems. So what? Big Show was in Waterboy but you didn’t see him running around beating people up. Show doesn’t know if Kane’s goldfish died or what, but tonight it’s eye for an eye.

Kane vs. Big Show

Kane jumps him at the bell so Show shoves him down to take over. They head outside for a second with Kane knocking him into the post on the way back in. A running corner clothesline rocks Show again and a regular version gets two. The armbar goes on for a bit and Kane hits him in the arm to break up a chokeslam attempt. Kane goes up for the top rope clothesline but gets caught in a fall away slam. The chokeslam is loaded up but Kane reverses into a pretty messy DDT (the camera work didn’t help things) for two.

Show knocks him down again and drops the leg for two as JR mentions that this hasn’t been the prettiest match. Show powerslams him down for two more but Kane big boots him to the floor. Then we get the red lights and Kane’s voice comes over the loudspeaker. He keeps saying May 19 and taunts Kane about not being able to control it. Kane keeps grabbing his head as the voice talks about how he knows what happened. Show grabs a chair and hits him in the head so he can walk away for the no contest.

Rating: D. It was a bad match until the ending and then it got even worse. This was a lot of the same plodding match you’ve seen these two have a dozen times before and it wasn’t any better this time around. Kane going insane to promote his movie wasn’t exactly groundbreaking stuff. It was entertaining breaking stuff though and that’s a pretty bad way to end a pay per view match, especially after such a blatant advertising campaign to promote the match.

Post match the lights are normal and the voice stops as Kane sits up and smiles.

Candice Michelle is coughing in Vince’s office because she has a chest cold. She wants Vince to give her a healing touch so he winds up on top of her and she screams a lot until Shane comes to get him. And we move on.

We recap Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God in a video we’ve seen in one version or another multiple times lately. Shawn told Vince to get over Montreal and grow up already so Vince declared war on him. Then Shawn beat him at Wrestlemania, so Vince said Shawn cheated by having God help him. Hence the tag match.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels/God

This is going to hurt. Vince introduces the Hipster From Heaven and we get some harp music to go with a spotlight. Hold on though as Vince says that isn’t a WWE entrance so he wants God to get jiggy with it. The dance music is on but Vince tells the referee to check God for weapons. Vince doesn’t care if he has any weapons because it’s going to be a no holds barred match. Thankfully Shawn comes out before this gets even worse (to be fair, I had expected a guy with a big white beard so this could have been worse….maybe).

Before the match, Vince tells Shawn where he and God are going tonight so Shawn hits him in the face to start fast. Shawn sends Shane to the floor for the slingshot dive and beats him up the ramp to make it one on one. Shane slugs away on the ramp but gets backdropped onto the stage. Vince joins them but Shane gets sent into the big set. A crossbody drives Vince off the stage and through a table for the big crash. Shawn goes up the steps but gets blasted in the face by a Shane chair shot.

That’s enough to draw some blood, with JR proving he doesn’t understand the word literally by saying it’s “literally ear to ear”. They head back to ringside with Shawn going into the post and then the barricade, followed by a spinning DDT back inside. Now Vince is willing to make a tag, even though Vince needing a tag in a No Holds Barred match doesn’t make much sense for him. Shane throws Vince a trashcan for a shot to the head and it’s time for Vince to grab a mic.

Vince wants to know why God is walking out on the match, even declaring that God has left the building. Vince: “God has left the building!” In one of those visuals that is hard to fathom, Vince tries his own superkick but Shawn knocks it away and hits the running forearm. There’s the nip up and Shane accidentally caves Vince’s head in with a chair. Shawn knocks Shane down and hits the top rope elbow and JR is knocking the nicknames and monikers out as fast as he can.

There’s the superkick to Shane but Shawn would rather grab a pair of tables. Both McMahons are put on the tables and the fans want ladders. Shawn gives them what they want with the huge ladder but here’s the Spirit Squad so he has to dive on them instead. The Squad gets back up and jumps Shawn though, meaning the beatdown is on in a hurry. They move the tables and take the ladder down, meaning it’s a big Uppsa Daisy through the table to give the rather evil looking Vince the pin. JR: “That’s bull****!” Lawler: “It’s the father, the son and the holy Spirit Squad.” Eh point for a good line.

Rating: B-. This was about as logical as you could get, especially if they insist on keeping the feud going. At the end of the day, Shawn was probably on equal footing here at best after he beat the fire out of Vince at Wrestlemania, so stacking the deck was the only way to give it some drama. Shawn is going to need some help though and those crotch chops should give you a hint of where it’s going. This also flew by, which shows you how well they could play the smoke and mirrors given the almost twenty minutes that they had. The God stuff is going to offend some people (fair) but Vince being over the top is always worth a look.

Post match the Squad carries Vince and Shane out on their shoulders.

John Cena talks about how controversial he is and how there are different groups who want to see the three of them all come out as WWE Champion. There will be one voice at the end of the match though and that will be….Lilian Garcia, who will announce that Cena is still WWE Champion.

Here’s Matt Striker for Striker’s Classroom. Striker says he was not originally scheduled to be here (I wonder if he is filling in time after Trish got hut) but now we are seeing a miracle: an educated man in Kentucky! He lists off some things Kentucky is famous for, which does not include being well educated. Striker is here to be your teacher though and is here with one of the most educated people in the history of Kentucky.

Cue Eugene, which Striker says is proof that you shouldn’t marry your cousin. Striker hands Eugene some chalk and asks him to write his name on the chalk board. The camera goes onto Striker and we come back with a message on the board declaring Striker’s love for a bodily excrement. Striker complains about how the sentence is written as Eugene picks his nose. After ordering Eugene not to eat it, Striker gets Eugene’s nasal contents shoved into his mouth. There’s a Stunner to Striker to wrap things up.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Edge beat John Cena for the title at New Year’s Revolution but then lost it back at the Royal Rumble. Cena went on to defeat HHH at Wrestlemania, where Edge also stole the show against Mick Foley. Both Edge and Foley want title shots so let’s have a triple threat.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge vs. HHH

Cena is defending and Lita is here with Edge. With Edge heading outside to start, Cena and HHH slug it out with Cena getting the better of things. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two on HHH with Edge making the save and bailing straight back to the floor. HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two and the slugout (with BOO/YAY crowd reactions) is back on. Edge gets up on the apron so the two of them bring him back in to keep the beating up. They all head outside when HHH and Cena compete to see who can ram Edge’s head into the announcers’ table harder.

HHH jumps Cena and takes Edge back inside, only to miss a charge in the corner. Cena pulls HHH off the apron though and goes up top for a splash onto Edge for two (that’s a new one). The Shuffle is loaded up but Lita low bridges Cena to the floor. HHH is back in with a facebuster and clothesline to Edge and the spinebuster gets two. Edge is right back with the Edge O Matic for his own near fall but HHH grabs the sleeper. Cena comes back to lift both of them up for the FU at the same time.

Edge slips out and spears Cena down, making him Samoan drop HHH in the process. HHH and Edge head outside with HHH being busted open off a posting. The Edgecution onto the announcers’ table knocks HHH silly, leaving Edge to hit a missile dropkick for two on Cena. Edge gets pulled into the STFU though and it’s HHH grabbing the hand to block the tap. A mic shot to the head knocks Cena silly to break thing sup and HHH CRACKS Edge with a chair to the head.

Back in and Cena grabs the STFU on HHH (note the booing) for two arm drops. HHH grabs the rope but gets pulled right back into the STFU. Edge goes up top so Cena lets go to break it up, with the ref getting bumped in the process. HHH breaks up the super FU with a powerbomb and everyone is down. That means it’s time for Lita to bring in a chair but HHH breaks it up with a spinebuster. The sledgehammer is whipped out but Edge cuts HHH down wit the spear. HHH hits Cena low to break up the FU, only to have Cena counter the Pedigree into a jackknife rollup to pin HHH and retain.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was great and one of the more action packed main events you’ll see from around this time. They were all fired up and hitting on every level, with Cena getting the surprise win to wrap it up. It’s also WAY better on the broadcast than it was live, as you couldn’t get a good feeling for the level of blood and carnage. Great stuff here and worth seeing for sure.

Post match HHH sledgehammers both of them down and holds up the sledgehammer. One more crotch chop ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. There might be some nostalgia on this one but dang it was a fun show to watch back. Of course there were bad moments but it was a two match show and the two matches delivered. I’m not sure what else you could ask for out of a B pay per view and they threw in a pretty good opener and a better Intercontinental Title match. This worked really well, but there was one problem.

Kentucky is one of those states with a rather ridiculous athletic commission (partially because of the deathmatch nonsense out of IWA-MS and it’s horrible boss who caused a lot of trouble) which REALLY didn’t like the blood, meaning WWE got about $50,000 in fines for the show (including things like Cena and Edge (yes Cena and Edge) not stopping the match when HHH bladed). Throw in that, depending on which reports you believe, HHH actually bled onto the commission’s representative and it should be no surprise that WWE was banned from holding televised events (if not events in general) in Kentucky for three years.

The commission has since been toned WAY down and now WWE is here at least once or twice a year for TV, but it was a rather long wait because of this show. Other than that though, it was a pretty good night all around and quite a nice memory for me that I’m never going to forget.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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