Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

We’re less than two weeks away from Fastlane and the big story coming out of last wee was Bobby Lashley FINALLY winning the WWE Title. I’m not sure how long he is going to hold the thing but it is great to see it finally happen. They have some heavy pay per view building to do so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Bobby Lashley vs. the Miz (both times) last week.

Bobby Lashley, with the rest of the Hurt Business, talks about how much he went through to get here and knows it was worth it. The Almighty Era has begun.

Here is the Miz, with John Morrison, for his rematch but first, he talks about how he was treated unfairly. Miz has done everything he can for this company and never takes vacations or misses time due to injury. Shane McMahon has it in for him though and made him defend the title last week despite his stomach cramps. Miz: “CRAMPS!” There was a title match though and Miz retained via countout. Like it or not, that was a title defense. But then McMahon said we’ll do it again in a lumberjack match. It was not fair and tonight, Miz is taking the title back because he is the Miz and he is AWESOME.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP is defending and John Morrison is here with Miz. We get the Big Match Intros and Miz drops straight to the floor. Miz snaps Lashley’s throat across the top rope but Lashley picks him up for a delayed vertical suplex. A missed charge sends Lashley shoulder first into the post and then Miz does it again for a bonus.

We take a break and come back with Lashley throwing Miz down with a suplex. Miz gets in a big boot though and a low bridge puts Lashley on the floor again. A missed dropkick through the ropes lets Lashley post him hard to knock Miz silly. Back in and the big spinebuster sets up the Hurt Lock to retain the title at 9:05.

Rating: C. This was exactly how it should have been as Miz got in a bit of offense but never felt like a serious threat. Lashley isn’t a hard guy to figure out as he can throw people around with pure strength and that’s what he did here. This worked well and Miz is dispatched from the title scene for good again.

Wrestlemania tickets go on sale a week from tomorrow.

Drew McIntyre says he is the only challenger for the title and rants about how Miz got a title shot before he did. McIntyre knows Lashley is big and dangerous….but here’s Sheamus to jump him from behind. Sheamus shouts that this isn’t over after twenty years of being in McIntyre’s shadow. With Sheamus gone, a rather angry McIntyre gets up and starts throwing things.

Rhea Ripley is still coming.

Post break, McIntyre is still livid and wants Sheamus tonight, No DQ.

We look back at Braun Strowman’s issues with Shane McMahon and Adam Pearce last week.

R-Truth comes up to Strowman and asks for his help with Bugs Bunny. See, Bunny has gone to the Monstars and he needs Strowman’s help to get him back. First, Truth apologizes for various things, including digging a tunnel underneath the Thunder Dome and stealing his dentist’s goldfish. Strowman doesn’t have time for this and wants an apology from Shane McMahon. Truth says this conversation never happened and clicks a pen in front of Strowman’s face ala Men In Black.

Here’s Braun Strowman to ask why Shane McMahon is doing all these things. He wants an apology because he wants some respect from Shane. Strowman demands Shane come out here so cue Shane, who gets in the ring, says “I’m sorry”, turns and leaves. Shane pauses on the stage, seems to think about saying something, and then leaves without saying anything.

Post break, Shane still has nothing to say.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

No DQ so Drew jumps Sheamus at the entrance. They brawl to the ring for the opening bell with Drew getting in an elbow to the face but getting knocked out of the air. Drew catches Sheamus on top though and they head outside, with Sheamus going into the steps. He is right back with a hard clothesline but the kendo stick shot only hits post. Sheamus is sent over the barricade and then back inside, with Drew bringing the kendo stick with him. A low blow on the way back in lets Sheamus grab the stick for a few shots.

The Regal Roll connects but Drew snaps off some belly to belly suplexes. A Russian legsweep with the kendo stick gives Drew two and they head outside again. Sheamus posts him and hits a spinebuster onto the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a spinebuster but not being able to get the Cloverleaf. Instead Sheamus goes up top but gets crotched, allowing McIntyre to get two off a top rope superplex. A chair is brought in but Drew blocks a shot and hits the Future Shock onto said chair for a near fall.

The Claymore is countered as Sheamus throws the chair at McIntyre’s head (geez), setting up a jumping knee for two. The chair is wedged into the corner but McIntyre sends him head first into it instead. Now the Claymore connects but it knocks Sheamus outside. McIntyre muscles him back in but the Brogue Kick knocks him off the apron. They both pick up steps on the floor and ram them together, which knocks both of them down in a heap. Sheamus is out and the referee stops the match at 19:24, presumably for a no contest.

Rating: B. The ending would look to set up a trilogy match at Fastlane so this was a twenty minute preview with both guys beating the heck out of each other. That worked very well and I could go for more of it, as these two work well together. Sometimes you have to go with what works and in this case, that is these two pounding each other for a long time.

Post match medics come down as neither of them can stand.

Long video on Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss since Orton set the Fiend on fire at TLC.

AJ Styles is asked about Wrestlemania but would rather talk about Randy Orton and Alexa Bliss. The Fiend is tearing Orton down bit by bit with voodoo magic. Cue Orton to ask if AJ thinks this is funny. AJ doesn’t, but he does find this weak. A match is set for later.

Video on New Day.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Xavier Woods

Preview of next week’s Tag Team Title match between New Day and the Hurt Business. Shelton powers him out to the floor to start and then knocks Woods down inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shelton sends him into the corner. That means a running knee to the face for two but Woods fights up and strikes away. Shelton knocks him back and yells at Kofi Kingston, with the distraction letting Woods grab a small package for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. Just a quick one here and that isn’t the most interesting thing. I’m still not wild on the idea of one member of a team beating a member of the other, as it is as played of a booking tropes as there is. It’s not like New Day needs to be heated up to go after the Tag Team Titles in the first place so can we please come up with something else?

Riddle needs a place to put his scooter but agrees to let New Day (coming back through the curtain) hold onto it for him.

Riddle vs. Slapjack

Non-title and Mustafa Ali is here with Slapjack. Riddle starts fast with a suplex into the Broton but an Ali distraction lets Slapjack send Riddle into the apron twice in a row. Back in and a dropkick gives Slapjack two, followed by a Falcon Arrow for the same. Slapjack goes up but he dives into a powerbomb off the top. The Final Flash gives Riddle a delayed two so he hits it again, setting up the Bro Derek for the pin at 3:54.

Rating: C-. Riddle was mostly dominant here and that was the right idea after he lost last week. This does help to set up Ali’s title shot next week, as beating up a lackey is one of the best things that you can do for such a match. This wasn’t very much on its own, but it did the part that mattered.

We look back at the Braun Strowman/Shane McMahon segment from earlier.

Shane tells Adam Pearce to have Strowman meet him in the ring.

Post break Shane is in the ring and here is Strowman to meet him. Shane’s mic doesn’t work so he goes to the floor to get another one and then heads up the ramp. Shane talks about how last week was about having fun and Strowman needs to do the same. It’s ok to have fun at other people’s expense, though Shane can tell Strowman does not agree. Shane says there is something they have to get done….but he isn’t sure he can talk about this.

Strowman says get on with it so Shane says they need to come to an understanding. Shane starts coming back towards the ring but then backs up as Strowman asks if Shane is trying to make him look stupid. That isn’t the case because Shane doesn’t like the word stupid. Instead, Shane lists off some cliches about being stupid, but Shane would never call him stupid, would he B-b-b-b-Braun? That’s enough for Strowman as the chase is on, with Shane running into a waiting car. The car pulls away and Strowman leaves, with Shane popping back up and saying Strowman is so stupid.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Naomi/Lana vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Jax and Baszler are defending…..and freaking Reginald is here with them. Jax says he is down on his luck so she has brought him here for the match. Jax: “Isn’t he cute?” Shayna drives Lana into the corner to start but Lana is back with a bulldog, allowing the tag to Naomi. A double Russian legsweep drops Baszler for two and Naomi hits a corkscrew dive onto both champs (with the two of them having to step forward to catch her).

We take a break and come back with Shayna cranking on Lana’s neck. That is broken up and the hot tag brings in Naomi to clean house. A headscissors faceplant gives Naomi two on Jax and everything breaks down. Reginald offers a distraction so Lana kicks him down, only to turn into a powerbomb from Jax for the pin at 7:41.

Rating: D+. Well at least they didn’t do this on pay per view. This was the latest challenger of the month for the champs and that meant it wasn’t much to see. I’m still not sure who is supposed to take the titles from Jax and Baszler, but I’m not sure WWE knows either. It’s not like there is any division to speak of, which is why we need NXT Women’s Tag Team Titles. Makes perfect sense.

Randy Orton laughs off the idea that people are worried about him and promises an RKO to AJ Styles.

Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke want a title shot at Wrestlemania but aren’t going to announce it like Charlotte did. Cue Charlotte to say they need to prove themselves to her. So go do something about it.

AJ Styles thinks Randy Orton is crazy so tonight it’s time to smack some sense into him.

We take a long look at Miz vs. Bobby Lashley from earlier.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Omos is here with Styles. Orton hammers away to start and the threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the floor. Back in and AJ hammers away so they go outside again, with Orton dropping him onto the announcers’ table. A staredown with Omos lets AJ knock Orton off of the apron and there’s the slingshot forearm to the floor as we take a break.

Back with AJ working on the knee and then striking away in the corner. Orton gets in a few shots of his own though and a spinning clothesline drops AJ. They get back up and Orton catches him on top before also blocking the Phenomenal Forearm. The hanging DDT is countered into the Calf Crusher but Orton escapes and hits the hanging DDT.

Omos pulls AJ away from the RKO….and here’s Alexa Bliss on the screen. She plays her jack in the box but tells it not yet. Instead she lights a match and blows it out, which makes fire come up from three of the four ring posts. Orton coughs up the black goo and turns into the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C. AJ vs. Orton is going to be fine almost no matter what but the Alexa stuff hurt this a good bit. Part of the problem is this match came up out of nowhere, almost like WWE forgot that they had these two sitting around and threw them together to fill in a gap. You should have something better than that for these two, but given what Orton has been doing for the last few months, I’m not surprised.

Post match Bliss pops up again and laughs a lot to end the show. Man alive this story needs to wrap up already. I know it won’t be, but it needs to.

Overall Rating: C-. Aside from Sheamus vs. McIntyre, this was a rather weak show without much of interest. It also doesn’t help that they added nothing to Fastlane, which is in less than two weeks and has two matches announced, with nothing specifically from Raw. I know WWE is looking to Wrestlemania and that’s understandable, but if they are going to schedule a pay per view like Fastlane, they might want to actually do something with it. Not the worst show here, but a pretty boring one (save for that one match).

Results

Bobby Lashley b. The Miz – Hurt Lock

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre went to a no contest

Xavier Woods b. Shelton Benjamin – Small package

Riddle b. Slapjack – Bro Derek

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Naomi/Lana – Powerbomb to Lana

AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and the big draw this week is the double return of Drew McIntyre and Goldberg. I’m not sure how much of an appeal that is supposed to have but WWE certainly sees something in it. Also we get a rematch from last week with Asuka defending the Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss, because WWE doesn’t like waiting on much. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. Drew is rather emotional to be back here and thanks everyone who sent him well wishes. The virus is a horrible thing but we are going to get through it together. Speaking of things we will get through, this Sunday it is going to be Drew McIntyre vs. Bill Goldberg for the WWE Title. Goldberg was 173-0 in WCW and ran through the Rock like he was nothing….and then he disappeared.

The last thing to go in a heavyweight fighter is his power but Goldberg has started a new streak. Every champion he has challenged since returning to WWE has gone down but on Sunday, Drew is ending the streak. Cue Miz and John Morrison to mock the idea of King Kong vs. Godzilla on Sunday because one of them could wind up injured after the match. That opens a door for a Money in the Bank cash-in because whoever wins is going to be a sitting duck.

Miz promises to win the title but here’s Goldberg to cut them off. Goldberg: “You, me, Sunday, you’re next.” The staredown is on so Miz and Morrison make some jokes from the apron, earning themselves a double beatdown, with Miz taking the spear and Morrison getting Claymored. Another staredown ensues as I beg of WWE to end the Miz thing on Sunday because it is managing to hurt a story that had almost nothing going for it in the first place.

Charlotte says she knows how to perform well under pressure. Tonight she wants Shayna Baszler to bring her invisible crown because it’s one thing to pretend to be a queen and another to actually be one. On Sunday, she is entering the Royal Rumble and defending the Tag Team Titles. As for Lacey Evans and Ric Flair, she has seen her father in some dark places before but this might be the darkest. She’ll be ready though, because she is Ms. Wrestlemania.

Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler

Nia Jax is here with Shayna Baszler but Asuka isn’t here because she and Charlotte are the most worthless Tag Team Champions in the history of the title. Charlotte starts fast by kicking Baszler down and hitting a baseball slide on Jax. The Figure Eight goes on in a hurry but Jax comes in for the DQ at 56 seconds. Good, as there is no reason to burn off Charlotte vs. Baszler in a real match here.

Post match the beatdown is on with Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke coming in for the failed save. Lacey Evans is in as well and the six woman is ready for after the break.

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke/Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax/Lacey Evans

Mandy and Lacey exchange wristlocks to start before it’s off to Dana to knock Lacey down again. Shayna and Charlotte come in with Shayna kicking away at the leg. That’s enough to send Charlotte over for another tag to Mandy, who takes Baszler into the corner. The alternating beatdown is on with Charlotte kneeing Baszler outside. Charlotte stops to glare at Nia and Lacey but gets rammed into the apron. Shayna throws her back inside….and doesn’t beat the count at 4:44. Everyone seems confused and I can’t imagine that was the planned finish because it just ended out of nowhere.

And never mind as we come back from a break with the match continuing thanks to a decision made by Adam Pearce during the break. Jax runs Brooke over with a clothesline and taking her into the corner. Shayna does the stomp down onto Dana’s arm but Dana gets over for the tag to Mandy anyway. Everything breaks down and Charlotte chases Lacey over the barricade as Dana gets the tag again. Nia misses a charge into the post and Dana gets two off a running flip neckbreaker. A powerbomb into a chokeslam plants Dana again and the legdrop finishes for Nia at 14:05 (counting the break).

Rating: D+. Again. They did it again. One more time, Nia and Shayna beat Dana and Mandy because that’s all these four know how to do. The law of diminishing returns has been in effect for months with these teams but here we are again. Speaking of again, Charlotte and Asuka still might as well not be a team, so hopefully they lose the titles on Sunday and end this worthless idea.

We look at Mace beating Xavier Woods last week.

Mustafa Ali loved what he saw and is ready to destroy Kofi Kingston.

Earlier today, Ali talked about coming after Kofi because he had the greatest moment in his life after Ali had the worst moment of his life.

Xavier Woods vs. Slapjack

Woods charges at him to start but gets kneed down for his efforts. Slapjack bangs up his knee on a missed double stomp though and Woods strikes away. Woods nails a running knee to finish Slapjack for the pin at 2:49.

Post match Retribution beats Woods down, with Ali grabbing a chair. Instead he sits down in it though and says for someone who acts like a king, Woods looks like a peasant right now. Ali has heard that Kofi won’t be competing in the Royal Rumble, but don’t worry because he’ll take Kofi’s place.

Riddle is on his way to the ring when he runs into R-Truth, who has heard about a birthday party. Truth thinks it is for him because it was his birthday last week and they might have 24 karat gold carrots for him. Goat noises are shared.

It’s time for the talk show before a match involving the people in the talk show, this time featuring the Hurt Business in the VIP Lounge. MVP is ready to own the Royal Rumble and tells Cedric Alexander to focus on the task at hand tonight. Bobby Lashley talks about how the team is draped in gold (and silver) and they are just beginning. They have a present for MVP in the form of a THB chain. MVP is rather impressed but Cedric and Shelton argue over the design.

Cue R-Truth to ask about the surprise party, because THB must mean Truth Happy Birthday. Shelton: “Truth, now is not the time.” Truth: “Is it a dance break?” Lashley apologizes for forgetting his birthday last week but he has a gift inside the ring. Here comes the Menagerie of Numskulls to go after the title, with the Hurt Business getting involved. MVP isn’t impressed, but here’s Riddle with the Final Flash to knock him silly. It takes talent to squeeze in two stupid ideas into one segment so well done.

Edge is back tonight. Works for me.

R-Truth asks Adam Pearce if he can enter the Money in the Bank match. AJ Styles and Omos come up with AJ offering his services in a qualifying match. Styles says he’s benevolent, so Truth says he’s a Capricorn. Pearce says if Truth can beat AJ, he’ll consider a Rumble spot. Truth things Omos is a Taurus, like the one he had that broke down one time. Confused Truth is still one of my favorite things in WWE.

We look back at the opening segment.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Both are officially in the Rumble and Miz is in Morrison’s corner. Morrison takes him down with a headlock to start but Sheamus is back up with a hammerlock. The chinlock keeps Morrison down until he fights up, only to get backdropped right back down. Morrison gets in a shot to the throat and break dances over for a kick to the back. Sheamus pops up and grabs the Irish Curse for two before heading to the top.

The top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air with a shot to the knee, setting up a running knee to put Sheamus on the apron. Back in and Morrison works on the leg with a leg crank and an elbow to the knee. Sheamus uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom, setting up a release Rock Bottom for two more. The Cloverleaf is blocked and it’s a knee to the face to set up White Noise to finish Morrison at 9:33.

Rating: C. As usual, this worked out well and I’m not surprised by this. They’re always good together and that was on display again. It’s a little weird to have the heel as the speed and the face as the power, but they kept Miz to a minimum and let the guys do their thing, which is exactly the right idea.

Post match Miz wants a handicap match so that’s on as well, as we now have a third Miz and Morrison segment in the first two hours.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Sheamus

No tags here as Morrison takes out Sheamus’ knee to start so Miz can get a DDT for two. An enziguri into a clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor, with Morrison nailing a nice dive. Sheamus gets sent hard into the barricade for some running shots to the head. Back in and Miz stomps Sheamus down in the corner but Sheamus manages to send Morrison outside.

A running clothesline drops Miz and there’s a powerslam to the returning Morrison. Sheamus Regal Rolls Miz onto Morrison and then sends them outside for the double top rope clothesline. Morrison breaks up the Brogue Kick back inside but Sheamus shrugs off the Skull Crushing Finale. The Brogue Kick drops Morrison but it’s the Skull Crushing Finale to finish Sheamus at 6:49.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would have, and as much as I want to put Miz into that briefcase and send him to the planet Flaflooga, Sheamus got into the zone that he rarely reaches anymore and that’s a good thing. He really can do the power thing well and Miz and Morrison work well together in spots like this. Sheamus and Morrison have some very good chemistry together as well so I’m not sure why I’m surprised I had a good time here.

Ric Flair and Lacey Evans grapple a bit when Charlotte comes in. Lacey leaves and Flair says he’s doing what he wants to do. Charlotte says he spent his money on everyone but his family but this isn’t cute anymore. Flair is going from legend to old man and she isn’t the bad guy. Ric glares at her as Lacey comes back in and hits her with the Woman’s Right. Lacey asks Flair to explain the WOO as they leave Charlotte laying.

AJ Styles vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Truth sending him over the top but getting caught in a staredown with Styles. Back in and AJ misses the Phenomenal Forearm, allowing Truth to start up the John Cena finishing sequence. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into the Calf Crusher for the tap at 2:35.

We look back at Randy Orton being all masked and creepy. I think this is just airing the same segment from last week.

And now, Alexa’s Playground with Bliss reciting Mary Mary Quite Contrary. She loves what she and Fiend did to Randy Orton two weeks ago and looks at a video of last week’s promo (which we just saw). Bliss thinks he looks better now and says that she just wanted to have some fun with Asuka in her playground. Now we look at Bliss watching herself and Asuka from last week (after watching her talk on the big screens in the Thunderdome). Bliss throws in some Ring Around The Rosey and her face turns into the Fiend for the LET ME IN. Total time spent on watching recaps: seven minutes.

Riddle vs. Hurt Business

Gauntlet match and if Riddle wins, he gets a title shot at Lashley. Shelton Benjamin starts things off and counters a kick into a spinebuster for two. The chinlock goes on and Shelton adds a knee but gets pulled into a guillotine. Shelton tries to muscle him into a suplex so Riddle knees him in the head. A rollup should have Riddle pinned but Cedric Alexander gets on the apron. Shelton yells at Alexander and gets rolled up for the pin at 4:48. MVP is in next and, as he yells at Shelton and Alexander for arguing, gets pulled into a kneebar for the tap at 5:24. Cedric is in last and we take a break.

Back with Cedric putting a knee in Riddle’s back and cranking on the arm. Riddle fights up so Cedric hits a heck of a dropkick for two. The abdominal stretch goes on but Riddle reverses into a suplex, which is countered into a DDT. Back up and Riddle kicks him in the head to start the real comeback.

A t-bone suplex sends Alexander flying but he gets the knees up to block the Broton. Riddle grabs a German suplex to put Alexander down again, only to get pulled into a brainbuster for two more. A quick triangle choke is countered into a powerbomb but Riddle hangs onto the choke. Back up and Riddle grabs a rollup for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: C. Riddle vs. Shelton and MVP were about as nothing as you could get but Alexander had a good match. That being said, the whole Hurt Business in-fighting stuff is still one of the worst things going on around here as of late. It isn’t that surprising though, as the team is good, polished and feel like a threat so they must be stamped out.

Post match Lashley comes out to give Riddle the Hurt Lock to leave him laying.

The WWE Network is moving to Peacock. If it doesn’t increase the price and you get the same things, I’m good with it.

We look at the opening sequence again.

Edge joins us for the first time in several months to talk about how you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Ten years ago, he went to Wrestlemania XXVII and left as champion. Then he lost everything because of his neck and took nine years to get back. He remembers telling his mom that he wanted to be a wrestler and she told him you have to go do it.

With that in mind, he is entering the Royal Rumble. He doesn’t have much time left so he is going to fight with everything he has to make this far fetched dream come true. If you have been with him on this ride until now, you have to try. A world without dreamers and fighters is a much less magical place. He quotes Henry Ford, who said if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. Edge thinks he can, and he’ll see us at the Royal Rumble.

Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging in a rematch from last week. Asuka takes her down into an armbar to start but misses the hip attack. Bliss kicks her to the floor….and then gets on the rocking horse that appears in the ring. Back from a break with Bliss fighting out of a chinlock and getting kicked in the face. Asuka hits another kick in the corner but Bliss’ old music starts playing and now she has her regular gear on (and longer hair).

Bliss sends Asuka face first into the corner and then the lights go out, with Bliss going into the other corner. She does Bray Wyatt’s lean backwards and becomes Fiend Bliss. Asuka’s knee to the face just annoys Bliss and the Asuka Lock but Bliss powers out of it. The Mandible Claw goes on but here’s Randy Orton with red makeup because this company doesn’t know how burns work either for an RKO to Bliss and the no contest at 12:33.

Rating: F. I like Randy Orton, I like Alexa Bliss and I like Asuka. If you put all three of those people into a match and angle, I should like the product. Instead, this was like an eight year old on a sugar rush saying “And then this happens and then this happens but it doesn’t count and then this happens and then the show is over.” They had part of a match and then it was something about a horse and a goddess walking into an RKO. I would say I probably got some of the details wrong in there, but I don’t think there were any details involved in the first place.

Overall Rating: D. And yet, somehow it’s better than last week’s show. This show was going along somewhat nicely and then went FLYING off the rails in the end, with one dumb idea after another. Maybe it’s all the time that they have to fill, but the more I think about it, the more worried I am that this is really what they think is the best use of Raw every week. Between the wrestlers working multiple times, the people watching promos from last week and people doing completely stupid things just because the script calls for it, this was another shining example of how bad Raw can be and that’s a scary thought going forward.

Results

Charlotte b. Shayna Baszler via DQ when Nia Jax interfered

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Lacey Evans b. Charlotte/Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Legdrop to Brooke

Xavier Woods b. Slapjack – Knee to the face

Sheamus b. John Morrison – White Noise

Miz/John Morrison b. Sheamus – Skull Crushing Finale

AJ Styles b. R-Truth – Calf Crusher

Riddle b. Hurt Business – Rollup to Alexander

Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss went to a no contest

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Main Event
Date: January 14, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

The Road to the Royal Rumble continues and that includes a stop on the show that has descended right back into the least interesting and/or important in WWE. After a few weeks of actually trying something different around here, we are right back to where we have been for years with almost nothing of interest going on. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Angel Garza

Garza takes him down with a leg crank to start but Tozawa quickly reverses into a headlock. Back up and a big headscissors is countered into a reverse sitout powerbomb to plant Tozawa. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS and a kick to the ribs gets two. Something like a Bow and Arrow has Tozawa screaming and a right hand puts him down again. The middle rope hurricanrana sets up the Octopus on Garza though, followed by the spinning kick to Garza’s head for two. Tozawa charges once too often though and gets caught in the Wing Clipper for the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C-. Completely watchable match between two talented people who have way too much to do. Both of them have all of the charisma in the world and it is a shame to see them stuck on a show like this. Granted it’s a lot better than having them sit on the sidelines, but that doesn’t exactly make it easier to see them not getting an important change.

From Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Street Profits

The Profits are defending. Dawkins shoulders Ziggler down to start and then hits a dropkick for an early two. Ford comes in but gets taken into the corner for the double stomping. That’s too much from Ford, who makes the fiery comeback but Roode kicks the knee out to take him down again. Ford fights up again and hits the big flip dive onto both of them at ringside as we take a break with Ford’s leg in trouble.

Back with Dawkins suplexing Roode for two as Ford can barely stand on the apron. A cheap shot from behind takes Dawkins down though and we hit the front facelock. Ziggler rolls him around a bit until Dawkins fights up and gets in a knockdown shot. Despite Roode pulling Ford off the apron for a bit, the hot tag goes through anyway and Ford gets to clean house on one leg.

Ziggler catches him on top though and it’s a super X Factor for two. Ford hits a superkick for two but it’s back to Roode for two off a fisherman’s suplex. Dawkins gets knocked off the apron and it’s the spinebuster/Zig Zag combination to finish Ford for the pin and the titles at 14:29.

Rating: C+. I can go with the story of someone fighting through an injury and Ford did a great job of building sympathy throughout. At the same time, they had to go with the title change here as the Profits had beaten them so many times already that there was almost no choice but to switch the belts. It’s not like Roode and Ziggler are going to be the next big thing in the division anyway so this is perfectly acceptable.

Long recap of how Adam Pearce became #1 contender.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Slapjack

Mustafa Ali is here with Slapjack, who takes him down by the arm to start. Carrillo flips out of a wristlock into an armdrag into an armbar. A chop in the corner sets up a forearm to the back, followed by a springboard armdrag. The slingshot dropkick through the ropes keeps Slapjack in trouble but he slaps Carrillo out of the air as we take a break. Back with Slapjack’s dropkick getting two as Ali shouts a lot about commentary and the double arm crank goes on. Carrillo fights up and gets to the top for a flying elbow to the back of Slajpack’s face. Slapjack runs him over to take control again but the Snapback finishes at 9:48.

Rating: C-. Just a match here but I’m almost to the point where I can’t remember the last time Retribution lost a match. That’s rather impressive given where they were and I could go for more of them like this. Granted this wasn’t the best match and again qualifies as the dumping ground for talented wrestlers, but I’ll take what I can get.

We look back at Drew McIntyre retaining the WWE Title at Raw Legends but Goldberg came out to set up the Royal Rumble challenge.

Drew McIntyre accepts.

From Raw.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is in street clothes and we have neither a bell nor a referee. They slug it out to start with Orton getting the better of things before heading outside. HHH whips him into the steps and then near the announcers’ table to take over. That means it’s sledgehammer time, but then the lights start going out. HHH pulls back the sledgehammer….which is now on fire. The lights go out and HHH disappears but we’ve got a distorted version of the Firefly Fun House theme. Cue Alexa Bliss in the corner and she throws a huge fireball at Orton’s face. Orton holds his face and screams a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As usual, all this show did was remind me of what is going on with the main shows and those are not memories I like bringing up. The wrestling was nothing of course and the stuff from Smackdown was just there. Granted it wasn’t McIntyre vs. Goldberg but at least they have a few things going for the. You just won’t see them on Raw because reasons.

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Main Event
Date: January 7, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s a new year (yes it is) and unfortunately it seems that the experiment of trying something new around here has already come to an end. I’m surprised it took that long actually, as Main Event continues to be either near or at the very bottom of WWE’s television ladder. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Slapjack

Tozawa strikes away in the corner to start and snaps off a hurricanrana. There’s a missile dropkick for two and it’s back to the corner to stomp away even more. Slapjack catches him on top with a superplex though and a regular suplex gets two. It’s time to work on the arm with a stomp and some cranking, followed by a neckbreaker for two more. Tozawa is back with another hurricanrana into a Shining Wizard. The top rope back elbow gets two on Slapjack but Mustafa Ali offers a distraction to break up the top rope backsplash. Slapjack hits the Snapback for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: C-. Pretty standard opening here and that’s all it needed to be. I can always go for some Tozawa so seeing him on Main Event is better than nothing. It’s not like they have anything else going on for him so put him out there and hope for the best. Retribution has built up a nice little winning streak, but it’s not like these wins are going to mean much of anything.

We look back at Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns in the cage.

From Smackdown.

Kevin Owens vs. Jey Uso

Owens unloads on him to start and stomps Uso down with no trouble. They head outside with Owens hitting a backsplash on the floor, followed by another for two back inside. Back in and Owens starts in on Jey’s recently injured leg, including crushing it on the rope. Uso gets in some right hands for a breather and a superkick puts Owens down on the floor. They head outside with Owens hitting his own superkick and throwing him over the announcers’ table. We take a break and come back with Jey shoving Owens off the top. Jey has to bail out of the Superfly Splash though and Owens hits the Stunner for the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C. The post break stuff was rather short and the match was almost a squash. This should be setting up the next Reigns vs. Owens match at the Rumble and if so, they did a nice job of reheating Owens in a hurry. It wasn’t a competitive match or even close to one of the most part, but that wasn’t the kind of match they should have had here.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Owens telling Reigns to come help his family. Jey gets handcuffed to the top rope so the leg can be further destroyed. Owens finally gets tired of the beating and unhooks the cuffs, allowing Jey to stagger up the aisle. That just earns Jey another beating, including a superkick onto a table. Owens loads up something but here’s Reigns to jump him from behind. Jey grabs a chair and the big beatdown is on, with Reigns unloading with said chair. Owens gets sent into various screens and then gets tossed off the stage through a table to finally end the beating.

We look at Randy Orton teasing lighting Alexa Bliss on fire.

From Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Orton pokes him in the eye to start and takes it to the floor. That lets him drop Hardy onto the announcers’ table a few times before going after the arm back inside. Hardy hits a clothesline but Orton knocks him out of the corner and hits the circle stomp. The chinlock goes on but Hardy neckbreakers his way to freedom. Orton rolls to the floor so Hardy hits a running clothesline off the apron to send us to a break.

Back with Orton grabbing the chinlock again but this time he puts his finger in Hardy’s ear gauges to pull rather hard. With that let go, Orton drops the knee for two instead. We hit another chinlock before Orton just opts to hammer Hardy down again. Hardy fights up and this time hits a basement dropkick for his own two. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for the same and Orton is sent to the floor for a dropkick through the ropes. The hanging DDT catches Hardy on the way back in though and the RKO finishes Hardy at 12:12.

Rating: C. I’m going to have to downgrade this one a bit as the ear gauge thing was hard to watch. Orton beating Hardy is going to keep him strong and it’s not like Hardy is going to lose anything by taking a fall here. Hopefully there is something else from Orton with the legends later though, because this wasn’t much in the way of being more evil and violent.

Ricochet vs. Drew Gulak

This should be good. Gulak is in long tights for a change and Ricochet takes him down by the leg to start. Ricochet’s headlock doesn’t work so they trade rollups for two. Now it’s Gulak getting in a headlock of his own, followed by a sunset flip for two of his own. A slam into the ropes puts Ricochet down again and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting out of a chinlock and sending him outside for the big flip dive. Ricochet has to bail out of a top rope dive so Gulak pulls him into a half crab. That sends Ricochet over to the ropes but the Kick Back is countered into another half crab. Gulak switches that into the STF but Ricochet is out again. Now the Recoil can finish at 10:44.

Rating: C+. Gulak is in the same league as Tozawa, as he can get a little something out of every match he gets to have. It’s nice to see him getting a little more time, but thankfully he gets some slightly higher spots than Tozawa. They’re both talented guys, but Gulak is just a hair ahead of him and that was on display here.

From Raw.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Keith Lee

Lee is challenging and walks through the legends (including Booker T. and Jeff Jarrett) to get here. They shove each other around to start and run the ropes, with Lee not quite getting high enough on a leapfrog. He’s fast enough to drop down as Drew comes back though (that was a smooth save) and then forearm him out to the floor. Lee follows him out and hits the big Pounce to knock Drew over the barricade.

Back from a break with Lee driving in elbows and shoulders in the corner to keep Drew in trouble. Lee slams him down to stay on the bad ribs for two and McIntyre’s belly to belly attempts are blocked. McIntyre finally sends him into the corner though and NOW the belly to belly connects (for some Legends applause). A neckbreaker sets up McIntyre’s nip up but Lee plants him with a spinebuster.

They head outside again with Drew managing a powerbomb off the apron, with Lee’s back hitting the edge of the announcers’ table as he crashes through to take us to a break. Back with the two of them going up top, with Lee hitting a freaking Spanish Fly for two, because he can just do something like that. The Spirit Bomb is countered though and the Claymore retains the title at 21:13.

Rating: B+. This was the kind of hoss/how are they doing that kind of match and if you ignore the times where they nearly killed/horribly injured each other, it was a heck of a fight. I’m a bit surprised by the ending, but Lee got a lot out of this and looked like a threat. If they can follow up on that, it might go somewhere for him, but that hasn’t quite been the case yet. Heck of a match here though.

Post match McIntyre grabs the mic but here’s Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg says McIntyre has a lot of things going for him, except for respect. McIntyre doesn’t respect those legends so that’s where Goldberg steps in. He isn’t demanding anything like a match at the Royal Rumble, but Drew seems interested.

They go head to head and Goldberg shoves him down….as we cut to Straight Up Steve Austin because we’re out of time. On a show that is THREE HOURS LONG, they manage to go over (for the second time in three weeks). That takes talent. Not as much talent as making up a character trait for McIntyre, but still talent.

This was horribly dumb, as McIntyre spent the entire summer defending the legends from Orton but now, because they need a story for the Rumble, he disrespects them? That’s not how writing a story works, but I don’t think WWE quite understands it that way. I did see a theory that said it was the script they had for Goldberg confronting Reigns and just changed the opponents. It’s just a fan theory but….would you put it past them?

Overall Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much easier Monday’s show was to watch when you drop most of the legends stuff. The show just wasn’t very good but going with the highlights worked out well enough. Throw in some Roman Reigns from Smackdown and you have a rather nice hour of programming. Now let’s wait until next week to see how much they change things again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 30, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

We are on the way to TLC and also on the way to new Thunder Dome at Tropicana Field in the next few weeks. That could make for some interesting changes along the way, though the biggest surprise is that last week’s show was actually good. I’m not sure how much reason I should have to believe that is going to repeat itself but maybe we’re in for a holiday miracle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for A Moment Of Bliss with Randy Orton. After a clip of last week when the Fiend interfered and cost Orton his match against AJ Styles, Orton talks about how well he knows Bray Wyatt. He hasn’t met the Fiend yet, but he understands that Fiend wears his pain and suffering on his exterior. Orton on the other hand keeps all of his pain and suffering inside. They both hear voices too, but the Fiend’s voices are Orton’s. Bliss: “Well that’s not what he told me.”

Orton thinks he has gotten inside of Fiend’s head, which Bliss thinks is what the voices have told him. Or are they telling Orton lies? Who is manipulating who? The lights go half off and Orton asks if Bliss sees what he means. More of them go off and Bliss asks Orton the same thing. The lights come back up and Bliss has jumped into Orton’s arms as Fiend pops up. Orton hands Bliss to him (as Fiend seemed to be begging for her) and bails, before asking who is laughing now.

Commentary throws us to a package on Jeff Hardy vs. Elias as I wonder what they’re watching Fiend do at the moment. We actually see a clip of Hardy attacking Elias on Main Event, which is probably the first reference to the show on Raw in the last three years minimum.

We look back at Drew McIntyre eliminating Brock Lesnar from the Royal Rumble.

We recap Elias vs. Jeff Hardy. Elias accuses Hardy of running him over with a car earlier this year to put him out of action for several months. Various guitar shots have ensued so now it’s a Symphony of Destruction match, meaning hardcore with musical weapons provided.

Jeff Hardy vs. Elias

Symphony of Destruction with Hardy slugging away to start. They head outside with Elias’ jumping knee blocking a violin shot. Hardy drops him face first onto the apron and then sends him face first into a piano. Hold on though as the piano starts moving, revealing R-Truth inside. Cue the band of misfits to give chase, though Hardy and Elias pick some of them off for interrupting. They break guitars over Drew Gulak and Lince Dorado as we take a break.

Back with Elias loading guitar picks on his hand to punch Hardy in the head over and over. Joe: “He’s picking Hardy’s mind!” They go outside with Hardy being sent into the drums, only to send Elias right back into them. Back in and Elias cuts off a guitar shot but Hardy gets in a hurricanrana.

Elias gets in the guitar shot for two, as Hardy grabs the ropes (in a falls count anywhere match). They head back outside with Elias picking up part of the broken guitar and stabbing the speaker to electrocute himself (I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it was because of the guitar strings). Jeff gets in a cello shot to the back and hits a swanton through a table for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: C-. Electrical and rope break issues aside, this wasn’t quite as epic as they seemed to be hoping for. Above all else, the musical weapons made it feel more like a joke than anything else, thereby defeating a lot of the point. Throw in the 24/7 cameos and it wasn’t quite the most thrilling idea.

Hardy even gets a tambourine as a prize.

Riddle comes up to Keith Lee to talk about how cool it will be if one of them gets the title shot. He’s always wanted to hear Drew McIntyre talk alike he’s Fat B****** from Austin Powers and yes we get an impression. Lee vanishes in the meantime, probably falling into the void of the 18 years since that character was introduced.

New Day wants you to buy Cyber Monday merchandise.

We look back at three weeks ago when Mustafa Ali beat Ricochet thanks to a Retribution distraction.

Ali talks about Ricochet pushing the same boulder up the same mountain week after week. Ricochet has been lied to just like them so why isn’t he next to them? Slapjack says Ali has shown him the way and saw him for what he really is: a weapon for Retribution. Tonight, maybe Ricochet will see what Ali sees.

Slapjack vs. Ricochet

Ali is ringside. Ricochet uppercuts him into the corner and fires off a forearm, only to glare down at Ali. That’s enough for Slapjack to pull Ricochet out of the corner for two but Ricochet is right back with a dropkick. The standing shooting star press gives Ricochet two but here are Mace and T-Bar, who are dropped by Ricochet’s big running flip dive.

Back in and Ali shouts instructions to Slapjack as Dana Brooke comes out to slap Ali in the face. She yells about Reckoning attacking her as Ricochet kicks Slapjack in the face. Ricochet takes out the monsters again but gets caught in a swinging belly to back suplex for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C. They were cranking up the action here, though there was a bit too much going on at once. That being said, it was nice to see Retribution keeping up the momentum as you kind of expect WWE to have them lose every chance they can. The match was the usual good enough stuff, though the idea of Retribution adding Ricochet is a little more intriguing.

Commentary IMMEDIATELY sends us to a look at Drew McIntyre defeating Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania.

And now, MizTV because we haven’t had a freaking talk show in an hour. After the usual Miz and Mrs. plug, Sheamus is brought out as this week’s guest. Sheamus wants to get this over with because they already have a match tonight. Miz and Morrison bring up Sheamus returning the McIntyre family chest a few weeks ago and ask why McIntyre forgot about Sheamus. That’s not cool with Sheamus, so Miz brings up how friends are supposed to act.

See, when Miz wins the title, Morrison gets the first title shot because that’s what friends do. So tonight, how about Sheamus turns on McIntyre and Miz gets the title? Sheamus laughs it off so Miz gets serious by bringing up Sheamus being WWE Champion five years ago. Now his career is a joke. That makes Sheamus take off his jacket and the beatdown is on. Miz and Morrison are taken out until Miz gets in a briefcase shot to leave Sheamus laying. I could go with not seeing a talk show again for a good eight months.

We look back at Lana saving Asuka from Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler last week.

Asuka and Lana fire each other up.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler bicker about last week’s loss.

Asuka/Lana vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Non-title. Baszler grabs Lana in a waistlock to start but Lana reverses into a quick rollup. It’s off to Asuka as Lana holds the ropes open, which Nia clearly sees, charges at anyway, and then dives through the ropes to the floor. That was one of the most fake looking spots I’ve seen in a very long time. Lana and Asuka hit stereo suicide dives and we take a break. Back with Nia throwing Lana around without much effort whatsoever.

Shayna gets to work on the leg a bit before handing it back to Jax in a hurry. They head outside with Lana managing to post her, allowing the hot tag to Asuka. House is cleaned until Shayna and Asuka trade kicks to the head. Lana tags herself in and hits a high crossbody on Shayna, who pulls her into the Kirifuda Clutch. Asuka breaks that up with a sliding knee and Lana pins Baszler at 9:28.

Rating: D. This story is getting more and more grating every week as the Lana push goes down our throats harder and harder. Lana isn’t particularly good at anything and Jax is only slightly less worse, but we’re supposed to want to cheer for Lana because….and that’s where the story falls apart because there is still no reason to cheer for Lana. Yeah Nia is annoying and mean, but Lana is really bad at this wrestling thing and is only winning because of Asuka. Lana beating Jax or Baszler off a fluke doesn’t make her look like a hero. It makes her look like James Ellsworth in better gear.

Sheamus is banged up when Drew McIntyre comes in to say that looked fun. Sheamus isn’t sure why Drew didn’t come out there for the save but now it’s time to beat up those Muppets. Hey now. Sheamus is a Muppet so don’t tell him to beat up his family so close to the holidays.

Here’s New Day for a match but first, Kofi Kingston talks about how cool it is for Xavier Woods to be a host on the relaunched G4. Woods talks about how important video games are to him and thanks anyone who has ever supported him in any way. In a preview of his hosting gig, Woods recaps New Day beating the Hurt Business a few times, but here’s the Hurt Business with a rebuttal, because these teams can’t have a match without a five minute discussion first. MVP says they’re 2-2 against each other and Cedric Alexander says G4 better be a dream job because he’s about to end Woods’ wrestling career.

Cedric Alexander vs. Xavier Woods

Alexander jumps him before the bell and we take a break. We’re joined in progress with Alexander hammering away and driving in elbows to the back. Woods fights back to limited avail but manages to drop Alexander with a few shots to the face. The Honor Roll gets two on Alexander, who is back with a brainbuster for the same. Woods gets knocked outside but he counters a suicide dive by whipping Alexander hard into the barricade. Back in and Alexander quickly hits the Lumbar Check for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C. I really could go for getting rid of WWE’s booking technique of having title matches where the champions retain and then continuing the feud anyway. New Day beat Hurt Business twice in three matches and yet we are still probably going to see a fourth match between them at the pay per view. Kind of like the Women’s Tag Team Title match, because WWE really does do these things more than once on the same show.

Alexander goes off celebrating without the Hurt Business for some reason.

Riddle annoys AJ Styles by calling him Skipper. Omos: “Skipper is his rabbit.” AJ wants to know why Omos knows that and why Riddle didn’t name his rabbit Hoppy. That’s Riddle’s turtle’s name but AJ is more like a rabbit anyway: good hops, soft and furry. AJ shoves Riddle and says tonight is serious.

We recap the opening sequence.

Keith Lee vs. Riddle vs. AJ Styles

The winner gets McIntyre at TLC for the title shot. AJ and Riddle are sent outside so Lee teases the big dive, sending the other two scattering in advance. Since Lee isn’t Nia Jax, he stops when he sees his target gone and the leapfrogs both of them back inside. A running crossbody gets two on Riddle and AJ is sent into Riddle in the corner. With AJ down on the floor, Lee stands on Riddle’s hand but AJ is back up to knock Lee outside. Riddle dropkicks AJ down to join him and then hits a springboard dive onto the two of them.

Back from a break with Riddle hitting a series of Brotons on Lee for one but the Floating bro misses AJ. It’s Lee’s turn to clean house again, this time throwing Riddle around with ease. Riddle slips out of the Spirit Bomb though and grabs a triangle, only to be swung into AJ while pulling on Lee’s arm.

Lee breaks it up and Riddle kicks him in the head, setting up the running forearms in the corner. A Pounce sends Riddle flying so it’s AJ finally getting to hammer on Lee. AJ gets caught on top so Riddle pulls Lee off, only have AJ hit a high crossbody for two on Riddle. Some jumping knees put Lee on the floor but it’s AJ hitting the Phenomenal Forearm to pin Riddle for the title shot at 13:59.

Rating: B-. It felt like a lot of triple threats we’ve seen before but the action was good and they went with the safe and acceptable ending. Riddle isn’t ready for the spot and Lee REALLY doesn’t need another big loss. That leaves you with AJ, who can take loss after loss and still be just fine so they went with the right call here after a good match.

Miz and Morrison are ready for the tag match.

Dana Brooke vs. Reckoning

Before the match, we get a quick promo from Mustafa Ali and Reckoning talking about how Brooke is going to be punished for putting her hands on Ali. Reckoning jumps her to start and hits a few shots in the corner. We’re already in the chinlock but Brooke fights up and makes the comeback. Ali gets on the apron but has to drop out of the way of the threat of r a right hand. Reckoning misses a kick to Brooke and gets rolled up for the pin at 2:24.

Post match, Ali yells at Reckoning because there is no losing around here.

Miz and Morrison (geez) come up to AJ and Omos in the back and offer him a peach pie for help against McIntyre tonight. AJ agrees, only because it would be easier to beat Miz to get the title. They’ll see AJ out there, but he does tell them to lave the pie.

MVP comes up to Riddle, who has a new idea: the Weed Bros Gardening Service. They’ll come over and get rid of all your weeds in a flash. MVP says Riddle’s ideas are stupid and shoves him away, meaning it’s time for a fight. Bobby Lashley runs in to jump Riddle and the Hurt Lock goes on.

Keith Lee comes up to Sheamus in the back and asks if he plans on turning on Drew McIntyre tonight. Sheamus says it’s none of his business.

Here’s McIntyre for a chat before the main event. He talks about doing everything he promised to do and says you can tell a lot about a man by looking into his eyes. He had Roman Reigns in trouble at Survivor Series but then Jey Uso had to get involved. Their paths will cross again and next time, he is taking Roman down. You can believe that. As for TLC, McIntyre is coming for AJ and retaining the title.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Sheamus/Drew McIntyre

AJ Styles is on commentary. Sheamus throws Morrison around to start and then gives him a rather large boot to the chest. McIntyre come in to run Morrison over and it’s ten forearms each to Miz and Morrison’s chests. Sheamus shouts at AJ to come get in here and goes outside to get in his face. Miz’s cheap shot doesn’t work but an Omos distraction lets Morrison hit a dropkick through the ropes.

We take a break and come back with Miz driving knees into Sheamus’ back and ripping at his face. Morrison comes in to knee Sheamus down in the corner and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry with the hot tag bringing in McIntyre to clean house. AJ does not exactly approve as McIntyre snaps off belly to belly suplexes and then nips up. The Claymore is loaded up but AJ comes in with the Phenomenal Forearm to McIntyre for the DQ at 9:50.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was all about waiting around for the ending and then whatever they have planned for after the match. Miz and Morrison are a good tag team but both they and Miz’s briefcase are props in other feuds. Sheamus and McIntyre work well together, though I could go for a one off title match between them down the road.

Post match AJ has Miz and Morrison hit a bunch of finishers on McIntyre (I must have misses Sheamus being taken out) but Miz argues with Styles over bossing him around. McIntyre fights up and takes care of Miz and Morrison, leaving AJ to need Omos to get him out of trouble. Omos carries AJ away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was not a horrible show but it certainly was a boring one. They did their thing of having the same matches that they have had before to set up another version of the same match, leaving fans to need to watch the same match they have already seen, only this time on pay per view. There were good things on the show though, with AJ vs. McIntyre being a good setup, Retribution only lost one of their matches, and Orton vs. Fiend is intriguing. They have some good ideas and goals, but they need to find a way to get there go well. Fix that and things will get better, because this didn’t quite work.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Elias – Swanton through a table

Slapjack b. Ricochet – Swinging belly to back suplex

Lana/Asuka b. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax – Sliding knee to Baszler

Cedric Alexander b. Xavier Woods – Lumbar Check

AJ Styles b. Riddle and Keith Lee – Phenomenal Forearm to Riddle

Dana Brooke b. Reckoning – Rollup

Sheamus/Drew McIntyre b. Miz/John Morrison via DQ when AJ Styles interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Hell In A Cell 2020
Date: October 25, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s time for another version of the show where WWE doesn’t care enough to even put together six matches before we get to the show. I’m not sure why WWE feels the need to do something like this but this marks two years in a row of a similar nature. There are three Cell matches tonight so it must be big. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: 24/7 Title: R-Truth vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak is challenging and immediately starts talking to Little Jimmy….who he then knocks down. Truth goes after Gulak in the corner and hammers away so Gulak takes him down by the leg. A leglock goes on, followed by Gulak stretching Truth’s neck over his back (think a Gory Stretch but without tying up the arms). Truth fights back with John Cena’s offense, including the AA for two. Gulak goes after the knee again and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence, with Truth rolling him up for the pin to retain at 5:23.

Rating: D. The match was pretty straightforward, meaning it felt out of place with the 24/7 Title. There was the Little Jimmy stuff at the beginning, but Gulak beating up an invisible boy isn’t enough to make up for the rest of things. It’s hard to criticize the title, though I’m not sure I get the need for a match to warm up the crowd when there is no crowd.

Post match the menagerie of numskulls run in to chase after Truth.

The opening video looks at the Cell matches and not much more, mainly because there isn’t much more after that.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso for Reigns’ Universal Title. Reigns beat Jey at Clash Of Champions but wanted Jey to acknowledge him as Tribal Chief of the family. That hasn’t happened yet, so Jey is getting one more shot, though there are some stipulations. First of all, it’s an I Quit match, but the catch is that if Reigns wins, both Jey and his brother Jimmy have to obey Reigns. If they don’t, they are out of the family.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending inside the Cell in an I Quit match. They shout at each other a bit until Reigns shoulders him down to start. A snap suplex has Jey in more trouble and Reigns sneers down at him in a great visual. Jey manages an enziguri to knock Reigns outside though and a dive sends him into the Cell. A running clothesline puts Reigns on the floor again and there’s another dive. Reigns is driven into the wall again and Jey starts to get serious, only to get cut off with a spear back inside. Reigns starts telling Jey that it’s over so Jey knocks him outside for a dropkick into the Cell.

The dive is cut off with a right hand though and Reigns hits another spear back inside. Jey is back up with a superkick into the Superfly Splash and they’re both down with Reigns not quitting. Another splash connects but Reigns says the head of the table never quits. Therefore it’s time to bring in a leather strap, even as Paul shouts no. Uso whips him in the back so Reigns hits a third spear to cut him off again. Jey can’t breathe but he won’t quit, so this time it’s Reigns whipping him for a change. Reigns: “I DO THE WHIPPING AROUND HERE!”

Jey’s look of shock at the pain is a great visual as he did these same things to Reigns but didn’t realize how bad it would be to get it back. More whips have Jey down but he uses the strap to pull himself up. They slug it out until Jey hits a superkick and ties the strap around Reigns’ throat. Reigns still won’t quit so Jey grabs a chair but Reigns hits the Superman Punch. The guillotine goes on with Reigns jumping into a bodyscissors and Jey is mostly out. That’s not quitting though and Reigns is looking more annoyed than anything else. Reigns says all Jey had to do was quit and now we’re here.

The referee and Reigns both implore him to quit until Reigns tells the referee to shut his mouth. Reigns lays Jey on the apron for the running kick to the head but Jey still won’t quit. With that not working, Reigns puts the steps on the apron and crushes Jey’s head between the steps and the post. Jey is out and Reigns is looking like this hurts him even more. The referee goes to call it because Jey is out so Reigns throws him over the top for thinking about ending things.

The other referee comes in but Reigns yells about what he’s supposed to tell his own kids for Jey making him look bad. A bunch of officials come out to tell Reigns to stop….so he throws the steps inside. Adam Pearce and company all bail out so Reigns puts the steps on top of Jey. Reigns shouts that Jey has been testing him their whole life and all he has to do is acknowledge him.

There is no going back when you go this far and now Reigns is ending him for not understanding. Reigns picks up the steps but here’s Jimmy Uso to lay on Jey for the save. Jimmy asks what is wrong with Reigns and says we can fix this. It’s Josh that is laying here in the ring and they can get through this together. Reigns starts crying and says he doesn’t know who he is anymore. Jimmy extends his hand and Reigns takes it…and then pulls him into the guillotine choke. Jey finally quits to save his brother at 29:06.

Rating: C+. I have no idea how to grade something like this as again it was more of a long segment than a match for the most part. It was similar to Clash in that regard, but I always have a problem with something like this being in the Cell, which added nothing. If people can just come in over and over, what’s the point in having the Cell other than a visual?

Now all that aside, this was more great character development stuff and shows how far Reigns has gone to the dark side. There’s something that makes it so much different when it’s family and I want to know how it’s going to be now that the Usos have to obey him. It was good, but the Cell didn’t add anything here and that gets annoying.

Post match Heyman is stunned as Afa and Sika come out to hug Reigns and put a lei around his neck.

The announcers are all emotional about what we just saw.

Elias vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Elias sings about how they’re having a match but Jeff can always lean back on the booze. Elias: “WWE stands for Walk With Elias but Jeff Hardy stands for DUI.” Elias chops him against the ropes to start but Hardy snapmares him into a Hennig necksnap for two. Hardy cranks on the arm with a hammerlock and they head outside with Jeff hitting a dropkick through the ropes. A dive off the steps earns Jeff a crash into the steps but he beats the count back inside.

Elias hits a clothesline to set up the chinlock but Hardy fights up and gets a breather. The legdrop between the legs into a basement dropkick gives Jeff two and Elias is in trouble. The Twist of Fate is countered into an electric chair into a spinning powerbomb for two on Hardy. Jeff is back up with the Whisper in the Wind and now the Twist connects. Hardy loads up the Swanton but Elias rolls to the floor and grabs the guitar. That’s taken away though and Jeff cracks him with the guitar for the DQ at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a Raw match and little more, which is about all you could have expected. Elias has never quite developed in the ring, though he can work well enough and Hardy can make up the slack with anyone. They kept things short here though and you can guarantee this continuing to promote Elias’ album.

We recap Otis vs. Miz for Otis’ Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz doesn’t want Otis to be Mr. Money in the Bank so he has tried to ruin his life. This set up the court case on Smackdown where Judge JBL made their match tonight for the briefcase.

Otis says his mama taught him to flaunt it if you’ve got it. Well he has it, and tonight Miz is going to get it.

Money in the Bank Briefcase: Miz vs. Otis

Otis is defending and John Morrison/Tucker are the seconds. Otis’ music also now starts with “Blue Collar Working Man” because we need things explained to us. Miz gets knocked down to start and Otis throws in an OH YEAH. They head to the floor with Miz being run over again but Morrison offers a distraction. Back in and the DDT gives Miz two so we hit the sleeper, with Cole saying that at Otis’ size, he probably has a bad case of sleep apnea.

With that weird statement out of the way, Miz kicks Otis in the face for two and hits the YES Kicks to the chest. The power of jiggling gets Otis out of trouble and the shirt comes off. There’s the flapjack but Morrison pulls Miz away from the Caterpillar. Morrison loads up a briefcase shot but gets caught, meaning he hides the briefcase behind his back and swears innocence. That’s good for an ejection and Otis hits a discus lariat for two. As Cole cracks up at Corey’s joke about Otis being able to power a small city, Tucker turns on Otis with a briefcase shot and Miz gets the pin at 7:26.

Rating: D. They had to do something like this as there was no reason to believe that Otis was going to win the World Title in any universe. Miz winning over anyone on Raw isn’t likely either, but it’s a lot easier to believe than Otis winning. Tucker turning on Otis gives them an out, though they’re going to have to bend the Draft rules for that long awaited Heavy Machinery showdown. In addition to that though, commentary was destroying this match as they were openly cracking up at Corey’s Otis jokes and it was really distracting. I know Otis isn’t exactly serious, but can we pretend this matters?

Miz and Morrison say how big of a deal this is and say the World Champions are on notice. Tucker comes in and shrugs off Miz and Morrison’s congratulations. He talks about how he has sacrificed everything for Otis and the team, like having him do the hot tag for the Worm or giving him the confidence to ask out Mandy Rose. Tucker has sacrificed everything for the team and he’s sick of it. Otis comes in to jump Miz and Morrison but Tucker runs off. Perfectly logical reasoning from Tucker.

We recap Bayley vs. Sasha Banks for the Smackdown Women’s Title. They feuded forever and then they teamed up to dominate the women’s divisions. Then they started losing their titles so Bayley turned on her before Banks could do the same. Banks was on the shelf with an injury thanks to Bayley but now she’s back for revenge and the title.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is challenging inside the Cell and kicks Bayley’s chair out of the Cell to make things even. The beating is on in a hurry and Banks grabs the Bank Statement, sending Bayley to the ropes. That means nothing in the Cell though so Bayley crawls to the floor for the break. Bayley drives her into the Cell but misses some kendo stick shots. Sasha throws the stick outside as well though and hits a knee to Bayley’s face. A table is set up at ringside but Bayley gets in a shot to cut her off.

That’s fine with Banks, who uses the edge of the table to drive Bayley into the Cell. A Meteora off the table into the Cell sets up another Meteora for two back inside. Bayley knocks her back to the floor though and tosses the chair at her, only to have Banks slide under the table. Said table is kicked into Bayley’s face and they go to the apron. Bayley throws her at the Cell so Sasha hangs on and jumps right back onto the apron.

A hurricanrana to the floor sends Bayley into the Cell and Banks whips her into the steps. Banks bridges some kendo sticks between the Cell and the holes in the steps but Bayley whips her through them instead. Bayley puts the sticks back and catapults Banks throat first into them this time. The reverse chinlock stays on Banks’ back and neck before Bayley sends her face first into an open chair.

The chair is wedged into the corner and Bayley hits a running sunset bomb to send Banks head first into the steel (dang that looked nasty). Bayley gets two off a top rope elbow but the bulldog driver is countered into the Bank Statement. Another crawl to the floor is enough for the escape and Bayley ties her in the ring skirt. Bayley unloads with the kendo stick shots to the back and it’s time for some duct tape and rope. Two of the sticks are taped together and wedged between the ring frame and the Cell but Banks gets in a blast with a fire extinguisher.

Bayley is fine enough to get the original chair back inside but Banks unloads on her. Banks sends her into the Cell and throws in a kendo stick to continue the beating. A lot of shouting and a lot of shots to the ribs have Bayley in more trouble but she crawls for her chair. Banks cuts that off and goes up for the frog splash but Bayley gets the chair up. The bulldog driver on the floor gives Bayley two and it’s time for a ladder, which is laid over two open chairs.

Bayley spray paints an X onto Banks and goes up top with the chair, only to hit the ladder instead. A running Meteora into the corner and a Bayley to Belly onto the ladder gives Banks two, meaning it’s frustration time. Bayley is back with her own Bayley to Belly for two so it’s time for the chair again. This time Banks pulls her down into the Bank Statement though, even tying the chair around Bayley’s neck. Some stomps to the chair to go with the hold make Bayley tap away the title at 26:32.

Rating: B. This at least felt a lot more like the violence that takes place inside the Cell, which is kind of the point of the show. Banks winning the title here makes sense and it’s not like they needed to stretch it out any longer. They beat the fire out of each other here and it felt like a bit time fight, which is entirely the point. You can all but guarantee that these two aren’t done, but hopefully they wait until TLC for the rematch.

A lot of staring ensues post match.

The Hurt Business is ready to step up and accept Mustafa Ali’s challenge. It’s going to be Bobby Lashley vs. Slapjack and MVP is even willing to raise the stakes: no cornermen or seconds, and we’ll make it a US Title match.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Slapjack

Lashley is defending and this is the result of Mustafa Ali issuing a challenge on the Kickoff Show. Retribution now has regular music and a regular entrance to make sure they aren’t unique whatsoever. Lashley wastes no time in running him over and hitting a quick suplex. Back up and Slapjack scores with a dropkick to send Lashley into the corner for the Cannonball. A running DDT gives Slapjack two but Lashley isn’t having any of that. The big spinebuster sets up the Hurt Lock to retain at 3:54.

Rating: D+. Another totally standard Raw match which wouldn’t have been more filler if it was a filler item in the filler section at the filler store. There’s no such thing as a filler store you say? Well there’s also no sense in building up a team like Retribution for so many weeks and then having them lose every match like this either so it all fills out.

Post match the rest of Retribution comes in but the Hurt Business makes the easy save.

Survivor Series is Undertaker: 30. As it kind of has to be.

The Cell is lowered. Yeah we saw this about forty minutes ago. Find something new.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre. Orton has had two title shots this year with McIntyre beating him both times, so Orton has attacked various legends to force McIntyre into the Cell. This is rather similar to how Summerslam was set up but you can’t expect them to come up with another new idea so soon.

Quick look at Batista in the new Gears of War game.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

Inside the Cell with McIntyre defending. McIntyre makes his entrance but here’s Orton as a cameraman to jump him from behind. That doesn’t go well for Orton, as McIntyre chops away and sends him into the Cell. The beating continues around the Cell and McIntyre takes it inside, demanding that the Cell be locked. I mean, it didn’t matter in the opener but it’s a nice idea. The bell rings and McIntyre hammers away but the threat of an RKO means he has to knock Orton outside.

Orton is driven into the cage and McIntyre shoves his face into the steel for a bonus. McIntyre sends him back first into the Cell as this is one sided so far. A chair to the ribs and back keeps Orton down but he avoids the steps being thrown at his head. The Claymore misses (mainly because McIntyre stopped way too early) and Orton hits him in the leg with a chair. Said chair is driven into McIntyre’s previously injured jaw and McIntyre is sent face first into the buckle.

Orton sends the bad jaw into the steps as well before wrapping his pants around McIntyre’s eyes. McIntyre’s face is shoved into the Cell wall and a thumb to the eye cuts off his comeback. There’s a whip into the steps and McIntyre looks shocked by the pain. A table is set up against the Cell but Orton grabs the backbreaker for one to keep McIntyre down. McIntyre is back with the overhead belly to belly and there’s a neckbreaker into the nip up. They head outside with McIntyre suplexing him through the table as the fans (uh….) think this is awesome.

Back in and Orton hits a low blow into the hanging DDT for two. Frustration is setting in so Orton whips out some bolt cutters and opens the door. McIntyre gets knocked down again and Orton climbs the Cell, which is just not going to end well. For reasons of general stupidity, McIntyre follows him up and Orton catches him with a pipe shot to the leg. Orton starts climbing down so Drew follows him, meaning it’s the fight on the side of the Cell.

Some shots to the hands finally knock McIntyre down and through the announcers’ table (not quite the biggest fall) so he come sup bleeding from the mouth. McIntyre is coughing a lot and they finally get back inside. The backslide gives McIntyre two (in a call back to Summerslam) and there’s the Claymore to send Orton outside. Back in and another Claymore misses, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin and the title at 30:34.

Rating: B. Another good one, though your mileage on Orton winning the title back may vary. I wasn’t big on them going outside just to set up not very big crash, as they still don’t quite get the point of the Cell. That being said, they beat each other up for quite a long time here and you almost had to have Orton take the title at some point after the back to back losses. It isn’t the worst thing by far and the match was good, but it could have been better with more violence and less walking around.

Overall Rating: B. I’m really not sure what to think about this one as the big matches were good and the weaker ones were all mostly short, but man alive this did not feel important. This felt like a show they threw together without much effort and then slapped the Cell name on it to make everything work. It’s a good show and makes up for some of last year’s complete drek of a main event, but I’m not likely to remember any of this in about a week. They were in and out in three hours and it had some good stuff with several important changes, but it had no impact or punch and that’s a weird combination.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Jey Uso – Jey quit when Jimmy Uso was in a guillotine choke

Elias b. Jeff Hardy via DQ when Hardy used Elias’ guitar

Miz b. Otis – Tucker hit Otis with the Money in the Bank briefcase

Sasha Banks b. Bayley – Bank Statement with a chair around Bayley’s neck

Bobby Lashley b. Slapjack – Hurt Lock

Randy Orton b. Drew McIntyre – RKO

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