Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,101
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 700^th episode and that means we are going to be in for a pretty big show. It does not help that we are just a few weeks removed from the Raw Family Reunion show, but we only have about two weeks to go before Cyber Sunday so the push continues. We have a few matches set up already so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We see a bunch of the media coverage from John Cena laying out Kevin Federline last week.

Here’s Kevin Federline to get things going. He’s back here on Raw for payback because everyone was talking about his appearance last week when John Cena laid him out. Federline isn’t a lovable loser like the Chicago Cubs though and he is ready to see Cena lose at Cyber Sunday. He brings out King Booker and Queen Sharmell, the former of which calls Federline’s album a treasure.

Booker can’t wait for Cena’s title to be on the line so he can be a double champion, but here’s Big Show to disagree. Show refers to the King as just Booker, which does not go well with the King. Show: “I’ll call you anything I want.” The two of them both tell Federline that they will win at Cyber Sunday but here is Cena himself to interrupt. Cena says this must be the dumbest lineup in the history of Celebrity Jeopardy, but he really sees a big royal pain in the a**.

Cena mocks Show’s acting legacy as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man and Jabba the Hut, plus his future role as the white Fat Albert. Then there is Booker, who called Federline’s album a treasure. Cena: “Booker, you have officially lost your status as a black man.” Ron Simmons comes in for the one line cameo (that was perfect) and Cena advises Federline to stop playing with fire (the album name) and to try playing with himself.

Women’s Title Tournament Semifinals: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina jumps her at the bell to start fast but Mickie gets in a few kicks for a breather. A quick suplex puts Mickie back down and we hit the dragon sleeper. That’s broken up and Mickie slugs away, only to get caught with a swinging neckbreaker. Mickie hurricanranas her out of the corner and grabs the MickieDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match but it was actual wrestling after weeks of nothing for the first round. I know the women’s division is completely worthless at this point but there are people who can wrestle, making the nonsense all the more frustrating. This was just a quick match, but after all of the terrible stuff so far, it was rather refreshing.

We look back at Umaga vs. Jackass.

Carlito/Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters

Shelton throws Hardy outside to start and Masters gets in a slam on the floor. Back in and Shelton grabs a chinlock with the fans all behind Hardy. Masters comes in but Hardy knocks him away and makes the hot tag to Carlito to pick up the pace. A Flatliner plants Shelton and the back to back corkscrew flip dives hit both villains. Back up and Masters sends Hardy into Carlito and grabs a rollup with a hand on the rope for the pin.

Rating: C. They packed a good bit of stuff into this one and while it wasn’t anything great, it did a nice job of building up the idea of Hardy having to defend against someone at Cyber Sunday. It is a little tricky to build up a match against no one in particular but they are doing what they can with what they have here. I’m not sure it worked, but the match was ok.

Edge and Randy Orton are ready to beat up DX on Sunday because they are sick of the lack of respect. Cyber Sunday is coming, so when Orton faces HHH tonight, the three nominees to referee the match (Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Jonathan Coachman) are going to be at ringside.

Johnny Nitro thinks Kevin Federline is a better rapper than Cena, but for now Nitro is going to prove that he is a better wrestler.

Wrestlers debate if John Cena or the Marine is tougher. Cena would like to meet his character because he has bad taste in people he would like to meet.

Johnny Nitro vs. John Cena

Non-title and Nitro has Melina and Kevin Federline with him. Cena starts fast by sending him into the corner and an elbow to the face puts Nitro down again. A Federline distraction lets Nitro hammer away though and a neckbreaker gets two. Cena gets sent outside where Federline slaps him in the face. The distraction lets Nitro hit a big dive and something like a bulldog gives Nitro two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena in more trouble but he powers out in a hurry. The ProtoBomb into the Shuffle into the FU finishes Nitro in a hurry.

Rating: C. I know Cena keeps beating Nitro but these haven’t been squashes and that makes for some nice boosts for Nitro. He is being treated as someone who might make Cena break a sweat and that’s a lot more than a lot of the other people around here. The Federline stuff is still annoying, but it’s not like it dominated the match or anything.

Post match Cena goes after Federline but gets jumped by Big Show and Booker. The beatdown is on and the heels pose….until Booker lays out Show with the Bookend.

Spirit Squad vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Mikey slams JTG down to start and it’s off to Johnny to rip at his face. A suplex, with Mikey almost dropping him, gets two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a leapfrog allows JTG to get over for the hot tag to Shad and it’s time to clean house. The G9 finishes Mikey in a hurry. Short and to the point, as Cryme Tyme continues to look like stars.

Post match Kenny goes on a rant about how he is sick of the losing, especially to a bunch of old people. Therefore, he is going to beat Ric Flair on his own.

This Week In Wrestling History: WCW’s Chamber Of Horrors (Voiceover: “Yes I said electrocuting him.”). The snark is high with this one.

Eugene, in a Chicago Bears jersey, is shooting out t-shirts when Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada interrupt. Estrada talks about the fans being able to choose if Umaga faces Chris Benoit, Sandman or Kane at Cyber Sunday….and Eugene shoots him low with a t-shirt. Umaga destroys Eugene as usual.

Video on the Japanese tour.

Jim Duggan tells Eugene he was too nice of a guy out there….and Eugene jumps him but seems to immediately regret it.

Kenny vs. Ric Flair

The Spirit Squad is here with Kenny but Flair didn’t believe what he said anyway, so here are Sgt. Slaughter, Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes to even things up. Kenny runs him over for an early two but Flair is back with the chops. Mikey grabs Flair’s foot though and Kenny gets a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Post match the brawl is on with the Squad being cleared out (minus Kenny, who ran off). Old school dancing ensues.

Robert Patrick is in the Marine. Good grief wrap this stuff up already.

Brooke Hogan has an album coming out tomorrow.

DX is in the back to plug their merchandise but they’re also not worried about Randy Orton and Edge. They drop down like they’re in an elevator….but Shawn says it’s out of order and walks away like he is going down a flight of stairs. Shawn’s lame dad jokes are always good for a chuckle.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Vince McMahon runs into Eric Bischoff and Jonathan Coachman. They’re cool with each other before the main event and Vince plugs Controversy Creates Cash.

We look back at Cena getting beaten down.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Eric Bischoff, Jonathan Coachman, Shawn Michaels, Lita and Edge are all at ringside, though Vince is off on the phone with his broker. After a quick joke about Edge and Orton’s relationship, we’re ready to go. We take a break before the bell (it’s so easy) and HHH starts fast with a knee to the face into a suplex. Orton is already out on the floor so HHH posts him and takes it back inside.

Orton gets in a shot to the face and grabs a DDT, setting up the posing. The big knee drop gets two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and HHH hits a jumping knee to the heel, only to have Lita grab the leg. Orton gets in the backbreaker but the RKO is broken up, with Orton being shoved into both the referee and Shawn. Edge spears HHH so Shawn superkicks Coach. Shawn gets posted by Edge but Bischoff hands Orton a chair to knock HHH out for the pin (as JR’s voice is almost out).

Rating: C+. It is usually better to keep this one short and that is what they did here. Orton vs. HHH does not have the best chemistry so having them out there for about seven minutes with interference makes it a little bit better. It was also the right way to go as Orton needed to win a match, even if it should have happened last week.

Overall Rating: C. I like the fact that they didn’t make this feel like some big, special show after the Raw Family Reunion a few weeks back. This show focused on Cyber Sunday, as it should have, because the show is in less than two weeks. I’m not exactly interested in a lot of what they are doing, but a little bit of a build is better than none at all. Not a great show here, but at least they did something.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 16, 2006
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,169
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to Cyber Sunday and that means things are going to start getting some of the stipulations set up. The main event is already set up as John Cena, Big Show and Booker T. will have the big Champion of Champions match. We need something else to be added to the card though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s DX to cut off Lilian Garcia’s intro….or at least their music does, as we have Randy Orton and Edge dressed as DX instead. Orton (as HHH) has the big nose and Edge (as Shawn Michaels) is already favoring his back. Edge talks about how this is all they need to do to get people’s interest and sell some merchandise. Orton says the fans suck but here is the real DX to interrupt. Shawn to HHH: “Do I look like that much of an idiot?”

HHH doesn’t get why Edge and Orton are doing this because they are already huge stars. Edge had a highest rated segment on Raw, even if Edge couldn’t really rise to the occasion. And yes they have photos to prove things. Then there is Randy Orton, who is the #1 downloaded superstar on the internet….at least in the gay community. I will now pause for all of the AJ Styles jokes and come back with HHH showing various photos of Orton wearing only a towel.

One of them happens to be Shawn from Playgirl, sending Shawn into a panic. Shawn: “I WAS YOUNG! I WAS STUPID! YOU TOLD ME GIRLS BOUGHT THAT MAGAZINE!” Orton says he wants HHH tonight, but HHH says he go that way. Edge tries to make it more clear and phrases things badly as well. The match is on and the early fight goes to DX as Orton and Edge are cleared out in a hurry. Shawn freaking out is always good for a chuckle.

Spirit Squad vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title and Cryme Tyme is making their debut. JTG and Johnny start things off with JTG snapping off a hiptoss before handing it off to Shad. The big boot has Johnny in trouble but Mikey comes in for a bulldog on JTG. The chinlock goes on but a suplex is broken up, allowing the hot tag to Shad. Everything breaks down and Shad’s kick to the face gets two on Johnny with Mikey making the save. The Samoan drop/running flip neckbreaker finishes Mikey.

Rating: C. I know the gimmick is not something that would pass today (and probably shouldn’t have back then) but Cryme Tyme has grown a lot on me over the years. They work well together and Shad is a solid big man. Throw in a good finisher and what else could you need from a midcard team? The Spirit Squad is desperate for some new challengers so this is a good time for a debut.

During the break, Kenny yelled at the rest of the team and walked out.

Melina and Johnny Nitro promise a celebrity appearance.

The Marine has premiered. It wasn’t exactly a blockbuster, but it did premiere.

Jonathan Coachman welcomes King Booker and Queen Sharmell as his guests and gives them the run of his office. Cryme Tyme comes in and takes Coach’s food and leaves. Booker didn’t understand a word they said because he doesn’t speak Ebonics. They seem to have stolen Booker’s wallet as well.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and we start fast with Masters knocking Hardy into the corner. Crazy and Benjamin fight on the floor as Masters’ suplex gets two on Hardy. Some shoulders in the corner are broken up and Hardy hammers away until Crazy sends him outside. Shelton comes back in for a Tower of Doom and some near falls to send us to a break.

Back with Masters suplexing Hardy again before slugging it out with Benjamin. Crazy comes back in with a missile dropkick but gets caught in the Masterlock. Benjamin springboards in with a Blockbuster to Masters for the save but Hardy is back in to clean house. A basement dropkick puts Benjamin on the floor and there’s a backdrop to do the same to Crazy. The Twist of Fate into a Swanton finishes Masters to retain Hardy’s title.

Rating: C+. This was all about keeping things moving instead of wasting time on a bunch of stuff that wasn’t needed. That’s the right idea for a four way and Hardy getting the win was the only way to go. None of these three are exactly interesting challengers for Hardy but he needed some momentum after last week’s loss and beating three lame challengers at once will work well enough.

Booker is telling the cops about Cryme Tyme robbing him (they all look alike to him) when Big Show comes in. Bickering ensues but Vince McMahon comes in with an announcement. He’ll wait until the third champion is here though.

Here are Melina and Johnny Nitro to introduce their celebrity friend. It’s….Kevin Federline, best known for being married to Brittney Spears and…..well for looking like an idiot. Federline thanks the two of them but says it isn’t great to be here because the people aren’t treating the three of them with respect. Don’t worry though, because he knows these are the same people buying magazines with his face on them. Melina asks for one of his new raps, but the people can wait until his album comes out.

Cue John Cena, who isn’t happy with the lack of rapping. He’ll handle it instead and calls Federline the world’s biggest scumbag. Federline has less talent than Paris Hilton and apparently likes seamen. Cena says he would be spearing Brittney if Federline wasn’t around and that’s enough to get Federline charging. Cena beats up Nitro but here are Big Show and King Booker to interrupt.

Before anything else can be said or done, here’s Vince McMahon to cut everyone off. Vince hypes up the Cyber Sunday main event and announces that one of them will be defending their title. The fans will get to vote on who defends, and voting is open right now. I could have sworn he announced that last week, but it’s the logical way to go anyway.

Everyone but Cena leaves so he calls Federline back into the ring. Cena knows Federline considers himself a trendsetter so he can tell people who to vote for. Federline wants Cena’s title defended so he can lose, meaning it’s an FU to a nice pop. The Federline stuff is as dated as anything can be, but seeing an annoying quote unquote celebrity get beaten up is fine.

Carlito vs. Rob Conway

Conway hammers away to start but Carlito is back with the left hands and springboard elbow. A missed charge lets Conway get two but the Backstabber gives Carlito the fast pin.

Post match, Carlito gets to spit the apple.

Edge and Lita meet Vince McMahon in the back, with Vince making Edge/Randy Orton vs. DX for Cyber Sunday. As for a stipulation, how about a guest referee? Like say Jonathan Coachman, Eric Bischoff or Vince himself! Vince agrees and we’re on.

This Week In Wrestling History: When Snuka Flies, Muraco Dies.

Two of the guys from Jackass are brought into the ring for a chat but here is Armando Alejandro Estrada, who isn’t impressed. They’re willing to do anything, so here is Umaga so destruction can ensue. Oh man I had forgotten about this thing.

The Marine is still a thing.

Women’s Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Candice Michelle vs. Maria vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Bra and panties match and all four have already lost their first round matches. Lilian has to read an introduction that is so long that she needs several cards and even Lawler is mocking her for taking so much time. Maria loses her top, Torrie loses her top, Victoria loses her pants and Maria gets rid of Torrie’s pants to win.

We actually get some brackets:

Melina

Mickie James

Lita

Maria

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels and Edge are here too. HHH does the pre-match intro and includes one more Orton gay joke. Orton jumps HHH from behind to start and pounds away but gets sent outside. We take a break with Orton holding his knee and come back with HHH hitting a knee drop for two. Cue Lita for a distraction so Orton can send HHH over the corner, allowing Edge to get in a DDT on the floor.

A swinging neckbreaker gives Orton two and we hit the neck crank. Orton’s powerslam gets a few near falls but HHH comes back with a bunch of right hands. There’s the jumping knee and the facebuster but an Edge distraction lets Orton get in the backbreaker for two. Lita offers another distraction though and Edge hits HHH low. That’s not enough though as Lita throws in a chair but Shawn hits Orton low for the save. HHH chairs Orton down for the pin.

Rating: C. And that’s how the DX vs. Orton/Edge feud starts: with DX overcoming the odds and winning the first match in the main event of Raw. That isn’t the best sign for the future of the feud and makes Orton/Edge, who are already looking up at DX, look like they’re in trouble to start. One of the biggest problems with DX has been giving them a real challenge and this didn’t make me think they are in any danger. That’s not a good way to start a feud and it isn’t the best look here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show went by quickly and that was a good thing. They introduced some new things such as Cryme Tyme (who instantly felt like the biggest team in the division) and Edge/Orton as the top villains, but the wrestling was often skippable. In other words, this week’s show was about setting the table for the future so while it worked out well enough, it isn’t a show you need to see because it’s an early chapter in a lot of longer stories.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 2, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a big title match as Raw doesn’t have a pay per view in October. This time around it is going to be the grand finale (for now at least) between Edge and John Cena as Edge is challenging for the Raw World Title inside a cage. Other than that, we are going to be seeing more of DX vs. the McMahons, or at least Jonathan Coachman acting as their surrogate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is DX to open things up, including a look at the McMahons being destroyed in the Cell during their entrance. HHH hits the catchphrases and shows us a shot of Vince McMahon’s face being put into Big Show’s…..uh, yeah. Before Shawn can tell you what you can do if you’re not down with that, here’s Jonathan Coachman to interrupt. On behalf of the McMahons, it’s time for a Texas Tornado match. Why does it always have to be a Texas tornado match? Why not a Kansas Kollision? Or a Wichita Whirlwind if you want to keep up the theme?

D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Charlie Haas/Viscera vs. Highlanders

DX cleans house to start but get caught in the corner by the numbers advantage. Viscera’s big splash hits Haas though and DX hammers away at the monster. A double shoulder takes him down and it’s a facebuster/atomic drop to put Murdoch on the floor. There’s a double DDT to Viscera and Shawn drops the top rope elbow on Haas. The superkick into the Pedigree puts Haas away in a hurry.

Post match Coach freaks out and says we aren’t done tonight because he runs this show. HHH says maybe DX should and chases Coach to the back because they’re in charge tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Jeff starts fast with something close to a Sling Blade and drops the leg between the legs. That’s enough to send Nitro bailing to the floor and Hardy hits a dive off the apron. We come back from a break with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back.

Melina screams a lot as Hardy is sent into the post, setting up a backbreaker for two. Nitro cranks on both arms but Hardy pulls himself up and kicks Nitro away for a break. A few more shots to the face put Nitro on the floor with Hardy being right there to dropkick Nitro in the face. The barricade run into the dive takes out Nitro and Melina (for the required ankle injury) and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the title.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here and it was nice to see Hardy actually get the big win here instead of having him come up short again. Nitro has gotten a nice boost out of the title and should be fine going forward. A rematch wouldn’t surprise me either, especially with Cyber Sunday on the way soon. Hardy winning the title still feels like an important deal and that is how a title change should come across.

We look at Edge cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase to take the World Title from John Cena for the first time.

DX is outside of Coach’s office but he won’t let them in. Jokes about what Coach is doing in there (it could put his eye out) abound.

Jeff Hardy is happy to win the title, with the interview turning into an ad for Maria appearing on ECW’s Extreme Strip Poker next week. Melina comes in to screech so Jeff puts his hand over her mouth.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon, who tells Coach to do….something. That sends Coach outside into the hallway where he can’t find DX. He walks a little ways but eventually runs into HHH, with Shawn popping up on the other side. We get the Good, The Bad And The Ugly knockoff music until DX throws Coach into the women’s locker room.

HHH is rather pleased as they go in, with Shawn closing his eyes. The women tell Shawn where Coach went so he gives pursuit while HHH stops to flirt with Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly and Mickie James. Shawn pulls him back and the chase continues until Coach finds Big Dick Johnson. Then he slips on a wet floor, allowing DX to chase him outside. DX throws him in a trashcan, with a janitor throwing trash on top of him and wheeling it away.

Here’s how John Cena got the title back from Edge at the Royal Rumble.

DX comes up to the Spirit Squad and tells them that there is a new dress code around here (in a Johnny Ace impression). The Squad protests but the power of the sledgehammer makes them change their minds.

Umaga vs. Snitsky

Umaga, who is facing Kane in a Loser Leaves Raw match next week, hits a pop up Samoan drop, the running hip attack in the corner, and the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Randy Orton is sick of hearing about Carlito so it’s time for an RKO.

The Marine has action scenes.

Randy Orton vs. Carlito

Orton starts fast and knocks Carlito outside, followed by a whip into the post back inside. Carlito’s legs are fine enough to snap off a hurricanrana but Orton pulls him down by the arm again. That’s broken up so Carlito slugs away and hits the springboard back elbow. A springboard flip dive into a Lionsault gets two but Orton sends him to the apron. Carlito springboards in with a high crossbody but Orton rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Carlito continues to be just there and I don’t particularly care to see him do anything here. He’s not someone I want to cheer for or want to see get his revenge on Orton, because there is nothing to Orton. All he does is make spitting jokes and used to date Trish. Is there anything else to him other than that?

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the Raw World Title from John Cena at One Night Stand, with an assist from Edge.

The Spirit Squad needs more time to change and refuse to come out, so DX threatens to strip them of the Tag Team Titles. HHH then describes them as “gay”.

Cryme Tyme steals a doughnut from a police office and run away.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Squad are here as cheerleaders in some rather revealing uniforms (Which don’t cover their underwear. I’ll spare you the question of why DX had those.). Nicky misses a right hand, meaning he has to go to the ropes to get out of the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter gets two off a gutbuster but gets sent outside for the group beatdown. Back in and the USA chant goes on, only to be cut off by Nicky’s sleeper. Another Cobra Clutch is broken up and Nicky slaps on the armbar. Cue DX on screen to say that Nicky forgot his (female) underwear, allowing Slaughter to grab the rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way to have the Squad get embarrassed by DX and that worked out well enough. It’s not like the Squad has any real capital to lose at this point so having someone like Slaughter, especially under these circumstances, beat him makes any difference. Just get the titles off of them already though because the joke of them losing is getting old.

Here’s how Edge won the title from John Cena and Rob Van Dam on Raw in July.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Victoria vs. Mickie James

DX orders them to wear lingerie, which is….pretty much about the same as they usually wear. Victoria hammers away in the corner to start and fires off some knees to the ribs. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked without much effort but Victoria’s Boston crab is escaped as well. Victoria sends her to the apron so Mickie tries a sunset flip, with Victoria grabbing the ropes for the block. The referee breaks that up so it’s a sunset flip to give Mickie the pin.

Post match, Victoria freaks out.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book, focusing on him firing people.

Chris Masters is asking Bischoff about the book when DX comes in. Bischoff calls them an NWO rip off, which Shawn deems BLASPHEMY. That’s enough to send Bischoff running, so HHH asks Masters when he’s going to write a book. Masters has been thinking of writing a nutrition book, and HHH even has the title: “How To Lose 50lbs In Four Weeks”. Masters leaves in a hurry. Shawn is still worried about being an NWO rip off but HHH says he who laughs last laughs best. Then they laugh.

Then John Cena won the title back from Edge at Unforgiven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is challenging in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Cena has a bad arm coming in but the good arm is fine enough to ram Edge into the cage over and over. A kick to the face rocks Cena though and the bad arm goes into the cage. Cena’s suplex cuts off Edge’s escape attempt and gets two as JR is right there to explain that Edge would have won the title had he won. See how quick and easy it can be?

The FU is countered into the Impaler for two and Edge slaps on a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Cena’s Throwback gets two. Edge pulls him off the cage though and it’s a spear to drive Cena into the steal for a good looking crash. Now it’s Edge going up but Cena catches him with a super bulldog as we take a break. Back with Cena using the good arm for a belly to belly suplex as we cut to some Marines watching from the crowd.

Edge is back up to throw Cena’s bad arm into the cage but Cena is right there again to stop the escape attempt. They sit on top and slug it out with Cena being knocked back in first. Cena pulls him back in as well but Edge gets in a superplex for two. Edge climbs but gets crotched on top, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The FU is blocked with a grab of the cage though and Edge sends him head first into the cage again.

Another FU is countered again to give Edge two again so he tries to escape. That’s broken up by Cena, so Lita grabs Edge’s arms as she throws in a chair. The referee ejects Lita but the referee gets bumped. A heck of a chair shot knocks Edge down to set up the STFU but here are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch to take Cena out. Cue DX to make the save though and Shawn superkicks Murdoch into the door into Edge’s head. The FU retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good stuff here and it felt like the big blowoff to the feud. They needed to wrap the thing up here as it has been going on for about eight months now and there isn’t much else to do. The good thing is that Edge stayed strong in defeat, and now they are ready to move on to something else. Cena needs a fresh challenger and we can get somewhere else soon enough, but for now they had the big finale and it worked out well.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about the main event with the DX shenanigans just filling in time elsewhere. What we got was a nice show built around one match and that worked out fine. They can start things up again next week as the build towards Cyber Sunday can begin, but this was good enough and it’s nice to see them set something up and then pay it off like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 25, 2006
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still starting of the new John Cena Era and that seems to include one last gasp from Edge, but I can’t imagine him sticking around in the main event scene that much longer. You also have to imagine that the McMahons are going to be back sooner rather than later, because that’s how Raw works. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

And the power is out, meaning the commentary intro is in the dark.

Lilian Garcia’s intro can’t be heard and there is no video screen or graphics.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Lita vs. Candice Michelle

Lilian’s mic is back up to announce that we’re having a Women’s Title tournament. Lita’s video is at least playing on the screen above the ring. Before the bell, Lita gets a mic and says that thanks to a private meeting with Jonathan Coachman, she gets to pick the guest referee for this match. It’s Edge and, after a rather extensive weapons shirt, he spears Candice to give Lita the pin in about thirty seconds.

Post match (and actually mid match) John Cena runs in for the save as the lights start to come back up a bit.

Back from a break with the power on and Cena talking about Edge sabotaging the lights so he wouldn’t have to face him. Edge and Lita come back out and say that there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. They are going to celebrate, sending Cena into a few jokes about Lita being….yeah I think you get the joke. Cena suggests that various parts of her are as red as the Oklahoma University end zone and says that was for JR (who gives a thumbs up. Lita: “SCREW YOU!” Cena: “I don’t have ten bucks!”

Lita is sick of Cena making fun of her when Cena is the real joke. Edge and Lita are both better wrestlers than him, which Cena says is proof that she has the testicles in the relationship. And yeah, she might be better….if he was blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back (uh oh) and wasn’t afraid of a scorching case of herpes. Edge is ready to fight right now but it’s for Lita, with Cena’s arm tied behind his back.

Footage of the Mexico tour.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane jumps him during the rather long entrance and a side slam lets Nitro get the fur coat off. Melina’s distraction lets Nitro hit a chop block but Kane boots him out of the air. Cue Umaga with a chair to Kane’s back for the DQ barely a minute in.

Post match Umaga destroys Kane with the running hip attack and the steps to the head.

Shawn Michaels is readying the WWE Magazine but can’t find any advertisements for DX gear. After the plug is done, Maria comes up to ask DX about their gauntlet match tonight. Maria thinks their catchphrase is NO WAY so HHH offers a demonstration, with Shawn pulling him away. Instead HHH whispers it in her ear before leaving, with Eugene replacing them. Maria whispers the same thing in Eugene’s ear and he faints.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant vs. Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match in Puerto Rico in 1977. Monsoon’s selling of the knockout is great.

Jonathan Coachman talks to Shelton Benjamin about his claims of being held down for being a black man last week. Vince McMahon’s hero is Dr. Martin Luther King! Benjamin: “I’m kind of partial to Michael Jordan myself.” Benjamin asks Coach what he knows about being a black man in this business and says Coach is “whitewashed.”

Jeff Hardy comes up with some of the most stereotypical slang you’ll ever hear (Cryme Tyme would think it was over the top) so Coach makes a match between them tonight. Benjamin: “Thanks, brother.” The two of them leave so Edge and Lita come out of Coach’s office and the Cena vs. Lita match is made. Coach even throws in a No Holds Barred stipulation, but if Edge touches Cena, he loses hit rematch. When did Coach grow a backbone?

Ric Flair vs. Mikey

The rest of the Spirit Squad is here too. Flair takes him down to start without much effort and unloads in the corner. Mikey snaps off a dropkick and slaps Flair in the corner, earning himself various shots to the face and chest. A shot to the knee looks to set up the Figure Four but Flair has to throw Nicky onto the rest of the Squad. Flair punches Mikey down for the pin. Yeah off a right hand.

Rating: D+. This mini feud continues and I’m oddly fine with a right hand beating Mikey. No matter how you look at the them, aside from Kenny, the entire Spirit Squad is a bunch of goons who only succeed at anything because they have a numbers advantage. Losing to a right hand might be a bit much, but I don’t think Mikey getting pinned by Ric Flair is going to end him.

John Cena was on MadTV.

D-Generation X vs. ???/???/???

DX is running a three team gauntlet and dedicate it to Vince McMahon. He isn’t here though, and they have a video on the Cell to explain his absence. The Highlanders are in first and lose in about fifteen seconds to a superkick. Robbie gets Pedigreed for a bonus and it’s Charlie Haas/Viscera as the second team. HHH runs Haas over to start and Shawn comes in to chop away in the corner. It’s off to Viscera, who gets crushed with a sidewalk slam and we take a break.

Back with Haas cranking on Shawn’s arms but he fights up and sends the villains into each other. The hot tag brings in HHH to clean house and a double clothesline drops Viscera. The Pedigree to Haas lays him out and a superkick knocks Viscera onto him for the double pin. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are in as the third team and a cheap shot to Michaels’ back puts him in trouble, allowing Cade to blast him with a clothesline. Everything breaks down in a hurry with DX being sent into various hard objects. Cade grabs a chair to knock Shawn down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The longest match we saw was the middle portion, which was cut in half by the break. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be anything more than a workout for DX, but at least they didn’t treat it as anything else. This felt more like DX needing a reason to be on the show and until a new team is built up, that’s about as all as you can do with them.

Post match HHH grabs his own chair to clear the ring.

In two weeks: Family Reunion, a three hour special. Oh…yay.

Cryme Tyme robs a guy near an ATM.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton knocks him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. A running forearm puts Shelton down for a change but he’s back with right hands and a bit one knocks Hardy into the barricade. Back in the chinlock goes on until hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom. The Whisper in the Wind connects but Shelton jumps up to the top, only to get shoved down for the Swanton. Shelton gets a boot on the rope and grabs the rope to block the Twist of Fate. That’s fine with Jeff, who small packages him for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what WWE is doing with these two and the segment with Hardy earlier was a little more than uncomfortable. At the same time, Shelton finding another way to lose is never a good thing despite how many times WWE has done it. I’ve given up on the false hope of him doing anything important anytime soon, but the racial stuff could get rather bad in a hurry.

John Cena has a wife in the Marina.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Randy Orton/Chris Masters

Carlito takes Masters down for an early near fall and it’s off to Crazy, who is powerbombed down in a hurry. Orton comes in and slaps on a chinlock, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Carlito. House is cleaned and everything breaks down but Masters avoids Crazy’s moonsault. With Crazy sent outside, Masters tries the Masterlock on Carlito but gets reversed into the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but it gives Carlito a quick boost to help him up after the Unforgiven loss. There are only so many things that you can do when the match was so definitive but at least they’re trying. The Super Crazy push is still a little odd, though at least they’re trying something new and that’s not a terrible idea.

Post match Orton catches Carlito with the RKO to leave him laying.

Here’s Jonathan Coachman for a chat and he has a surprise: Eric Bischoff of all people, who has not been here since he was fired last year. Bischoff is happy to be back and while he isn’t thrilled with being fired, he has written a book called Controversy Creates Cash. He’s telling the truth in the book, including the fact that Raw would not exist in this form without him and there would be no DX without the NWO. And then the music plays him off because that’s a little too far.

John Cena vs. Lita

Non-title, Cena’s arm is tied behind his back and Edge is here but can’t touch Cena. Lita pokes him in the eye and gets low blowed but the FU finishes her in less than a minute.

Post match here are King Booker, Finlay and William Regal from Smackdown (where Cena will be appearing in a six man tag later this week) for the big beatdown. Finlay gets in some Shillelagh shots and Booker takes off his boot because it’s time for Cena kiss the feet. JR: “WHEN DID BOOKER GET AN ENGLISH ACCENT???” Booker sits on the ropes as the beatdown knocks Cena out and his face is put onto Booker’s bare foot. Booker twirls in the robe before leaving, so Edge grabs a mic. The rematch for the title is next week and it’s inside a cage.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird show as there was one match which broke five minutes and it was a three fall gauntlet match. I’m not sure if they were a little spent after the international tour or whatever else but I did like the show flew by with a lot of things getting some time. Granted not everything needed to get time (like that Hardy/Shelton segment) but I did like the structure they were going with here. It wouldn’t work every week, though it worked rather well for a one off change.

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Unforgiven 2006
Date: September 17, 2006
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,105
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can’t believe it but I’m actually looking forward to this show as it has a stacked card. We have a double main event of John Cena challenging Edge for the WWE Title in a TLC match, plus DX vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Throw in Trish Stratus’ retirement match and you have a heck of a show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the double main event while talking about how the thirst for revenge can be unquenchable. Makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro is defending and has Melina in his corner. Feeling out process to start and we pause for a NITRO SUCKS chant. Neither can get a hiptoss so Hardy armdrags him into an armbar for a change. That works so well that Hardy does it again but this time Nitro is up with a forearm into the corner. Cue Melina screaming, which is likely to be a theme throughout the match. Jeff takes him down for the legdrop between the legs to send Nitro outside, followed by right hands in the corner back inside.

There’s the slingshot dropkick but it’s way too early to try the Swanton. Instead Hardy baseball slides him to the floor but Nitro catches him with a dropkick on the way back inside. Nitro starts working on the knee by driving it into the mat and hitting a hard kick (cue the scream). Some cranking on the knee ensues with a modified Indian Deathlock, followed by a chop block. As commentary tries to figure out where Pat Patterson is at the moment, Morrison misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing Hardy to grab a rollup for two.

JR has to cut Lawler off from talking about Melina’s moist looking skin as Hardy knocks Nitro off the top. The Swanton bangs up the knee though and it’s a pretty delayed two. Nitro starts cranking on the leg again but Melina gets on the apron for no apparent reason. That means a big crash as Hardy kicks Nitro into her, meaning a rollup gets a near fall. Melina pops up with her boot off and knocks Hardy silly so Nitro can retain.

Rating: B-. This got some extended time and it was a good choice for an opener. They did their thing until the ending, which was a bit off but served as a fine way to keep the title on Nitro. There is nothing wrong with sending two young(ish) guys out there and having them put on a good match to start things off and that is exactly what they did here.

Teddy Long is here in case John Cena loses and has to go to Smackdown.

Matt Hardy comes up to Jeff Hardy in the back and tells him good job. Lita comes in for the Team Xtreme reunion but mocks both of them for not being champions.

Umaga vs. Kane

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga and hypes up Umaga before the match. Kane slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Umaga getting the better of things. Back in and the running headbutt keeps Kane in trouble, followed by the running Umaga Attack in the corner to make it worse.

Kane comes back with his own right hands but charges into the Samoan drop to cut that off. It’s time for the middle rope thumb to the throat but Kane sits up to avoid it, giving us a great shocked look from Estrada. Some headbutts rock Umaga and Kane suplexes him out to the floor. There’s a clothesline over the barricade and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout to continue the feud.

Rating: C-. There’s nothing wrong with a power brawl and Umaga kept looking good, though the ending didn’t exactly make me want to see them keep fighting. Umaga dominated most of the match and while what we got was acceptable enough, there was only so much that you could get out of a seven minute match which ended in a bridge to the next match.

Post match they fight onto the stage and then…..into the back, drawing a rather negative reaction from the fans.

Vince and Shane McMahon fire each other up and insult Canada.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

Kenny and Mikey are defending for the Squad. Rory sunset flips Mikey for an early two and it’s already time to slow down a bit. Mikey’s head is sent into Robbie’s in the corner and the Highlanders start taking turns on his arm. Kenny comes in and gets backdropped in a hurry so the Highlanders can take over on him as well. Some slingshot knees connect in the corner and Rory does exactly the same for two.

That’s enough for Kenny to bring Mikey back in so Rory ax handles him in the chest. A dropkick puts Mikey on the floor but Robbie’s dive completely misses. Back in and a running clothesline takes Robbie down as the champs take over. Kenny grabs the chinlock before handing it off to Mikey for the front facelock.

Something like Poetry In Motion misses but Kenny is smart enough to knock Rory off the apron to break up the hot tag. That means another chinlock but the guillotine legdrop only hits mat. The hot tag brings in Rory to clean house and Kenny is tossed over the top onto some more of the Squad. Everything breaks down and Johnny gets in the Johnny Go Round from behind to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. This could have been on almost any given edition of Raw and that’s all it was supposed to be. It’s not like the Highlanders, or any team at the moment, means much at the moment so it makes sense to have such an average match. Raw’s tag division has never been the strongest, but Smackdown is absolutely smashing it by comparison at the moment.

We get the long recap of D-Generation X vs. the McMahons/Big Show inside the Cell. Vince McMahon wouldn’t shut up about Montreal so he got in a war with Shawn, who eventually got HHH to join him against Vince and his cronies. Shane McMahon got involved as well so DX beat the two of them without much effort, meaning it was time to up the stakes. Vince hired Big Show and a few other goons, so it’s time to put them in the Cell.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Big Show

Inside the Cell. DX gets smart by kicking Show low before the bell and the fight is on in a hurry. Shawn sends Shane out to the floor and there’s another double low blow to keep Show down. Shane gets catapulted face first into the Cell so Shawn unloads on him as HHH hammers Vince in the face. We have our first blood as Shane’s bloody forehead is sent into the Cell again.

Vince is loaded up for the top rope elbow but Show is up to take care of DX in a hurry. HHH manages to send Show into the steps and drops a knee on Vince’s head but Shane is back to clothesline Shawn outside. Vince is busted as well as Show chokeslams HHH and then sends Shawn face first into the Cell on the floor. Shawn gets lawn darted into the Cell to make it worse, leaving HHH to get hit with Shane’s Coast To Coast.

HHH’s earn injury from Raw is busted open again, leaving Show as the only one not bleeding. HHH gets catapulted into the Cell so Show hits the cobra clutch backbreaker on Shawn. Vince covers but picks him up ta two, allowing HHH to come back in and clean house. Shane is back up with a torture rack neckbreaker (where did he learn that) to HHH. It’s Shawn back up with an enziguri to knock Shane to the floor….but Vince is taking his pants down.

That’s broken up by HHH but Show takes over again. Show’s splash hits Vince by mistake though and there’s a low blow to cut the big man down again. Some chairs are brought in with HHH wrapping one around Shane’s neck for a top rope elbow from Shawn. Show makes another save and brings in the steps but HHH gets in a chair shot. That sends Show into the steps and a superkick puts him over the top rope. As in draped over the top rope, so DX pulls his shorts down. Vince goes face first into it, setting up Sweet Chin Music and a sledgehammer broken over the back finally finishes Vince off.

Rating: B+. I was surprised at the lack of any interference, leaving this as two people having to fight off three and looking like they came through a war in the process. This felt like what they billed it up as and that’s a great thing to see. I had a good time with the match and it should finish up the DX vs. McMahons war because there is nothing left for the two sides to do to each other. Heck of a fight here and even the Vince face shot made sense in the context.

The McMahons are taken out on stretchers.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita for Lita’s Women’s Title, but it is also Trish’s retirement match. Therefore, we get a nice video package on her career (at least once she became a wrestler), during which she really did become one of the most important female wrestlers ever. Lita found out about the retirement though and leaked the news to WWE.com, sending Trish over the edge. Now it’s one last fight against her biggest rival. For the title. In her hometown.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is challenging and gets a heck of a hometown pop. We get a THANK YOU TRISH chant to start and there’s the spinning headscissors to put Lita on the floor. The Thesz press of the apron hits Lita and there’s an anklescissors off the steps. Back in and Lita starts choking a bit and hits the chinlock to keep Trish down. That works for all of five seconds so Lita uses the evil by pulling her down by the hair.

Trish comes back with a few kicks to the ribs but charges into an elbow in the corner. Lita goes up so Trish follows her for a slugout, only to have both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Lita misses the moonsault to give Trish two but Stratusfaction is countered with a shove over the top and outside again. Back in and Lita snaps off a suplex for two, setting up some more kneedrops.

A few right hands have Lita staggered though and dang the fans are into every single thing Trish does here. Lita kicks her down again though and we hit another chinlock but this time Trish fights up for the slugout. This time the Stratusphere pulls Lita off the top and the Chick Kick gets two. The Stratusfaction is blocked…so Trish switches into a Sharpshooter for the submission and the title.

Rating: C. The wrestling was absolutely not the point here and that’s fine. This was all about letting Trish have one more moment on her way out (because, again, the “time honored tradition” is nonsense) and that’s what she had here. Trish was a huge star in WWE and it was great to see her get a well deserved sendoff. Lita isn’t going to be hurt by the loss and the fans REALLY liked what they got here. Not a good match or anything, but a great moment.

Randy Orton says that was nice but no one cares about Trish’s retirement. Now watch what made him the youngest World Champion ever, right here in this building.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

They fight over a lockup to start and Carlito spits in his face, setting up some left hands to the floor. Back in and they strike it out with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a Lionsault for two. Orton manages to snap him throat first across the top though and a dropkick puts Carlito on the floor.

They come back in with Orton hitting the always devastating Garvin Stomp, setting up the always present chinlock. Carlito fights up and hits a quick springboard elbow but walks into the backbreaker. Orton tries a suplex but Carlito flips out and grabs the Backstabber. For some reason Carlito loads up a springboard but dives right into the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and there was little reason for Carlito to try that springboard other than to set up the ending. Carlito’s face turn has had lukewarm results at best so far, even after pairing him with Trish. Orton has been kind of floating around for a bit as well and I’m not sure what he is supposed to do next. This felt like a filler match and that’s not a good sign.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge in a TLC match. Cena has been chasing Edge’s Raw World Title but only has one last chance. Therefore it’s Cena’s Raw career vs. Edge’s title in Edge’s match’s hometown. Sounds like a pay per view main event worthy of a music video to me, which is why the main event gets the music video treatment here.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Tables, Ladders And Chairs, with Edge defending. Edge gets a rather nice reception but Cena is booed out of the building, which is about all you could expect. Cena grabs a headlock to start and is loudly booed again. Some shoulders put Edge down for the same reaction so he slaps Cena in the face. They start slugging it out and head to the floor with Edge’s chair shot hitting the post.

Back in and Edge hits a DDT to cut off Cena’s offense to put him onto the ropes. A few ladder shots to the head have Cena in more trouble but he avoids a charging ladder shot in the corner. Edge gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and it’s time for a table. You don’t try to suplex Edge through a table though as he powerbombs Cena through it instead. With Cena down on the floor, Edge runs up the ladder in the corner to hit a dive to take him out.

Back in and Edge can’t hit the Conchairto, instead sending Edge’s head into a chair. Then Edge gets crushed inside the ladder, setting up the STFU inside the ladder (that’s a versatile ladder). Cena then mixes things up a bit by FU’ing the ladder onto Edge and climbing up (that’s a REALLY versatile ladder) for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Another table is loaded up but Edge caves his head in with a chair and puts Cena on the table. Then he puts a table on top of Cena on top of that table.

That takes some time though and Cena shoves Edge off the top for the next crash. Back in and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Edge climb another ladder and spear him down. Edge climbs this time, but Cena powerbombs him into the side of a standing ladder for a nasty crash. They’re back on the floor, where a hard chair shot to the head puts Edge down again. Back in again and Cena climbs the ladder, only to have Lita come in and shove it down and through a well placed table at ringside.

Edge goes up but Cena comes back in, earning himself a chair shot from Lita….which knocks Cena into the ladder to knock Edge down again. That earns Lita an FU, allowing Cena to climb again with Edge down on the floor. Edge runs back up to go after the title but Cena FU’s him through the double tables. With Edge mostly destroyed, Cena pulls down the swinging title for the win.

Rating: A-. This felt like the big blowoff to a pretty special feud as Cena beats Edge at his own game on the perfect stage. It was a violent and hard hitting match, which is all you could ask for in something like this. Cena overcame the odds and won the title back in grand fashion, with the big spot at the end being the memorable moment to make it feel all the more special.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a two match show but those two matches were awesome and that’s enough to rate this one pretty high. The opener works rather well too and there is nothing bad on the whole card. Some of the stuff was pretty clearly filler, but when almost a third of the show is made up from the two awesome main events, it makes for one of the better single brand pay per views in recent memory.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 11, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,298
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh yeah I think they might make this one feel special. It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means we need the final push forward, including a pretty big main event. This week it’s Vince McMahon vs. HHH, which should be rather special for Vince given what the Garden means to him. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a moment of silence for the 5^th anniversary of 9/11. The Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful, which is great as always.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair (in red, meaning it isn’t likely to be a good night for him) slugs away to start so Armando Alejandro Estrada gets up for a distraction. That just lets Flair hit some low blows but Umaga is up again. Flair has had it and grabs a chair for some shots to the head and the DQ.

Umaga isn’t having these chair shots to the head either so Flair grabs the steps, which are swatted away as well. A Samoan drop plants Flair on the floor so here’s Kane for the brawl. Umaga chairs Kane down but he sits up and gets sent outside. Kane picks up the steps and throws them over the top, hitting Umaga square in the face (I remember watching that live and losing it at how scary that looked). The fire sends Umaga staggering away.

Vince and Shane McMahon are outside the Garden and we see Vince’s marker on the Madison Square Garden Walk Of Fame (roped off of course).

We see a clip of Cactus Jack vs. HHH in (and out of) the Cell at No Way Out 2000. I know it’s well remembered but it’s a shame more people don’t talk about that match as much as they do thanks to the other Foley Cell match.

Here’s the New York City Pipe And Drum Corps to introduce the Highlanders……and Roddy Piper to blow the roof off the place. Piper is pleased to have been ranked as the #1 offender in WWE history in a new magazine. He introduces the Highlanders and asks which one Rory is. Rory: “This is my cousin Robbie.” Robbie: “I’m Robbie.” Roddy: “I’m Roddy!” Robbie: “I’m Robbie!” Roddy: “I’m Roddy!” Then they slap each other, which Piper says is the most fun he’s had since he beat up Mr. T.

Cue the Spirit Squad to say that everyone here is dressed like girls. Piper says that’s tough talk coming from a bunch of guys who had their testicles replaced with pom poms. The challenge for the six man tag is thrown out and you know that Piper is down for that. Granted he issued the challenge so maybe that was implied.

Roddy Piper/Highlanders vs. Spirit Squad

Joined in progress with Roddy holding Johnny’s arm so Robbie can come in off the top with an ax handle. The two Squad members on the floor offer a distraction so the ones in the match can get in a few cheap shots. Robbie fights out of Kenny’s chinlock but gets taken into the corner again anyway.

Mikey’s running knee gets two and we hit the neck crank. Kenny breaks up another comeback bid and it’s back to Johnny for a hard clothesline. The chinlock doesn’t last long again and the hot tag brings in Piper to clean house. Kenny slugs away at Piper, who quickly backdrops him out onto the floor. The Highlanders grab the double reverse slingshot suplex and Piper steals the pin.

Rating: D+. Of course the match itself wasn’t the point here and we got everything we needed here. This show is being treated like a homecoming special and Piper is one of the most famous wrestlers ever in Madison Square Garden. Go with what works to pop the crowd here and give the Highlanders a bit of a rub at the same time. Piper looked like he was having a ball out there too and that’s great to see.

Johnny Nitro and Melina don’t like Jeff Hardy saying their press conference was like watching paint dry. Melina doesn’t think much of Mick Foley talking about things that happened twelve years ago but hang on because Hardy is painting. Said painting is trashed so he throws the paint on the two of them.

Another classic Cell moment: Shawn vs. Undertaker.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat before Edge is in a six man tag. Tonight is going to be John Cena’s last match on Raw before he gets sent back to Smackdown where he got started. In honor of his move, it’s time for a special rap, with Edge talking about winning at Unforgiven and mocks the Yankees and New York women.

Edge/Randy Orton/Johnny Nitro vs. John Cena/Carlito/Jeff Hardy

Nitro, still covered in paint, hammers at Jeff in the corner to start but Hardy knocks him right back down. The dropkick to the ribs allows Hardy to bring Carlito in to flip Nitro over and nip up. Orton comes in and gets clotheslined down, followed by an elbow to the face for two. It’s off to Cena and that means the big showdown with Orton despite it not really being a big showdown moment yet.

Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets two but Cena goes after Edge, allowing Orton to hit his own suplex. The painted Nitro comes in and gets taken down for some right hands to the face, allowing the tag back to Carlito. It’s back to Orton, who gets clotheslined down and taken into the corner so Hardy can stomp away. A running clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Hardy nails a dive to take him down again.

Edge gets in a cheap shot to Hardy though and that means some hardcore six way staring to take us to a break. Back with Edge working on Hardy’s leg before handing it off to Nitro for the same. Edge comes back in and gets caught with the Whisper in the Wind, allowing the hot tag off to Carlito.

The pace picks up but Edge pulls the middle rope down to send him crashing to the floor. Back in and Nitro’s neckbreaker gets a delayed two so it’s another chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s the really hot tag to bring in Cena. Carlito cuts off an RKO attempt with a Backstabber and Hardy adds a Swanton to Orton. The FU into the STFU finishes Nitro as Edge and Lita walk out.

Rating: C+. This got a lot of time but there were quite a few chinlocks to stretch said time out. What we got did work well enough though and I was liking what we were seeing for the most part. Nitro losing to Cena isn’t the worst thing in the world, though I’m still not wild on seeing a champion take a fall. Good match here, but not quite as epic as they seemed to be trying to reach.

Another Cell moment: HHH pins Chris Jericho on top of the Cell.

Cryme Tyme knocks a white guy down and steals his wallet. Egads this isn’t aging well, even if it’s so over the top that it’s hard to take seriously.

Vince McMahon says he’ll win here, unlike Muhammad Ali.

Super Crazy vs. Chris Masters

Rematch from last week when Crazy got an upset win. Masters jumps him from behind to start and the beatdown is on with Crazy getting caught in a chinlock. Back up and Crazy scores with a middle rope crossbody before slipping out of an over the shoulder backbreaker. A hurricanrana takes Masters down again and a sunset flip gives Crazy the fast pin. As usual, the best way to make someone matter in wrestling is to give them some wins so well done so far.

Robert Patrick is in the Marine.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

This is Trish’s final match on Raw. Mickie grabs the wristlock to start but Trish flips out and throws in a smile. The Thesz press into some right hands have Mickie in trouble but she counters the Stratusphere into a hurricanrana out of the corner. A double clothesline puts them both down but Trish is fine enough to catch Mickie in the Stratusphere on the second attempt. The Chick Kick misses and here’s Lita for a distraction. That’s fine with Trish, who hits the Stratusfaction off of Lita to finish Mickie.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t much to see and that’s completely missing the point. Trish might have been surpassed over the years (almost everyone is at some point) but she absolutely was a huge deal and a game changer for women’s wrestling. If nothing else, how many of today’s crop of women cite her as a huge influence? Trish deserves a big sendoff and that’s what they were going for here, at least on Raw.

Post match Mickie and Trish hug and Trish thanks the fans.

Classic Cell Moment: Kevin Nash vs. HHH, in a match that has kind of been buried in history. I can’t say I really disagree either.

This Week In Wrestling History: the post 9/11 show.

Unforgiven rundown.

D-Generation X runs into Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch and the brawl is on in a hurry. Shane McMahon runs in to help with the beatdown before the main event. Big Show joins in and chokeslams Shawn Michaels onto the limo. Speaking of the limo, HHH has the door slammed on him, allowing Vince McMahon to come in and make the main event no holds barred.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and Vince’s muscle shirt is red instead of the usual black. HHH can barely walk and is bleeding from the…..ear? Somewhere head related at least. Vince is smart enough to headbutt him in said ear, knocking HHH down in a hurry. Choking ensues and some shots to the face with Vince’s belt put HHH on the floor. Vince posts him hard and adds in a kick to the face, so HHH tells him to suck it.

A Pedigree gives Vince two and it’s Game On. HHH hammers away and hits the spinebuster but here’s Shane for a cheap shot to save his pop. Cue Shawn, holding his ribs, for the save but Big Show takes care of that comeback as well. HHH grabs the sledgehammer, only to be taken down by the numbers. Shane chairs Shawn and Vince hits HHH with the sledgehammer for the pin.

Rating: D+. As has been the case tonight, the wrestling didn’t matter here because this was barely a match. What matters here is DX FINALLY having to deal with some adversity as they have mowed through everyone else in recent months with no one else even making them break a sweat. I’m not sure I can imagine them losing inside the Cell, but this set up the possibility and that’s what mattered.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked because they made it feel like an important night. The Garden is sacred ground for WWE and they know how to make it feel like a place that matters. That’s what they did here and it worked rather well, with a mixture of a build to the pay per view and special moments throughout the night. I had a good time with this and as I said more than twice, this wasn’t about the wrestling and that’s ok in a special situation.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 28, 2006
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re well on the way to Unforgiven and last week John Cena threw Edge into the rather contaminated water. Odds are that is going to set up something for the pay per view, which is in Edge’s hometown of Toronto this time around. Other than that, we’ll be seeing more of the McMahons vs. DX because eight months isn’t enough of that feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This was on the Sci Fi Channel for a special edition.

We open with a recap of DX tormenting Vince McMahon over and over.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane says DX has gone too far this time because they have endangered his father’s sanity. After last week, Vince McMahon just laid on the couch saying DX over and over. Therefore, Shane has recommended that Vince take the night off so he is in charge. That’s why tonight, DX is going to be in tag team action for the first time since their reunion and they will find out who they are facing later.

Cue Edge and Lita, with Edge demanding that Shane do something about John Cena. We see a clip of Cena throwing Edge into the Long Island Sound last week so Edge wants Cena fired tonight. Cue Cena, who says that if he is fired, the last thing Edge will remember is being thrown in the water. That’s not a happy ending and…..yeah you can imagine the jokes on that one.

Edge wants Cena gone, so Cena has an offer. He pulls out a three year Smackdown contract and all it is going to take is Edge beating him in one more title match. Edge agrees, but he gets to pick where the match takes place and what kind of a match it is. That’s fine with Cena, who goes to leave, but Shane says Cena has a match first. That’s cool with Cena too, so here’s his opponent.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

This is Masters’ first match back in about three months and he looks a bit leaner. We’re joined in progress with Cena suplexing him for two and then suplexing him for two. Masters nails a running clothesline and starts hammering away, followed by a powerslam for two of his own. We hit the reverse chinlock but Cena is back up with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. The FU is countered though and Masters grabs a reverse DDT. The Masterlock is countered into the STFU but here’s Edge with a chair to Cena for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the bigger problem is we didn’t see Masters all year and I don’t think I realized he was gone. Masters isn’t someone who has made any kind of an impact and it didn’t exactly showcase him well here. The match wasn’t going to matter in the first place, but Masters’ future isn’t exactly looking bright.

Post match Edge hits Cena with a ladder and throws him through a table in the corner. That’s because at Unforgiven, it’s a TLC match for the title.

Charlie Haas/Viscera and Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch offer their services to Shane against DX but he has it covered. With the teams gone, Shane calls Vince, who is having a great time at the hotel suite. Room service arrives…..and it’s a bunch of roosters, because this joke is continuing and DX has a chicken farm when they’re out of the ring.

Carlito is with Trish Stratus and wants to know when she is going to tell him she’s retiring at Unforgiven. She isn’t happy with Lita apparently leaking the story but he calms her down and kisses her. Cue Randy Orton to jump Carlito and knocks Trish down in the process.

We look at Umaga putting Kane on the shelf.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Back To School paddle on a pole match so they’re schoolgirls this week. They fight over going for the paddle as Lawler is having all the fun you would expect. Candice rips off her top and Torrie rips off her skirt but the Stink Face is broken up with a bite. Candice grabs the paddle to win.

Spanking ensues post match.

This Week In Wrestling History: the main event Summerslam 1992. What a pop on that pin.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

For the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title after Kane was hurt last week. Orton jumps him at the bell and hammers away in the corner but Jeff does the same. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and Jeff hits a springboard corkscrew dive. We take a break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock and sending Orton outside for a suicide dive.

Back in and a belly to back suplex drops Orton to put both of them down, setting up the legdrop between Orton’s legs. The middle rope dropkick gives Jeff two (JR: “This referee has been slower than government aid to New Orleans.”) but Orton is back with the backbreaker. Hardy goes up but gets dropkicked out of the air. A neckbreaker drops Orton again though he’s fine enough to roll away before the Swanton. Cue Carlito to send Orton back in and spit the apple in his eye, setting up the Swanton to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: C. Hardy winning the title shot makes sense as you need to establish him as a big deal again. Carlito vs. Orton isn’t exactly thrilling, though is anything involving Carlito all that interesting? Hardy and Orton always have good chemistry so the match being fine was hardly a surprise.

Shane McMahon and the cops come in to see DX with Shane ordering them to stop the pranks. HHH makes choking the chicken jokes and points out various horrible things Vince has done over the years (with Shane giving a nod to each because they are some rather awful moments). One of these is having an I Quit match with his daughter before she married a man with the world’s largest….and let’s cut that off for a McMahon DVD plug.

Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Eugene vs. Spirit Squad

The Squad is defending and the Highlanders are on commentary. Eugene atomic drops Mikey to the floor to start, where the Squad gets into a fight with the Highlanders. That’s enough for the rest of the Squad and the Highlanders to be ejected but the remaining Squad is fine enough to suplex Eugene. Some stomping in the corner doesn’t last long as Eugene fights up and brings in Duggan to clean house. Mikey sends him into the exposed buckle though (because the buckle was exposed somewhere in there) and grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? The Highlanders are going to be fine for some one off challengers but that’s all they were ever going to be. It’s not like Eugene and Duggan were serious threats to the titles here so getting them in and out was the right way to go when the champs aren’t exactly fascinating in the first place.

Post match here’s Umaga (JR: “We might have a Katrina like tragedy here!”) to lay out Eugene and Duggan. Armando Alejandro Estrada laughs at Kane’s injury from last week.

We look at Mick Foley being humiliated and fired last week.

Here are Johnny Nitro and Melina for a press conference. They’re here to talk about Melina turning on Foley last week and….what else did you expect her to do? Look at who she is standing next to. Nitro says everyone wants to be him for one night because he goes home, gets freaky with Melina, and cuddles his Intercontinental Title. That kills Mick Foley, because he wants to do what Nitro does every night.

The last person that Melina would ever associate with is a quitter like Foley. Melina talks about how Foley wanted to be her friend, but she knows better than that. To make it clear, she NEVER let Foley touch her. Ugh, he drives a minivan! There is no way she would ever leave Nitro for a smelly one eared Muppet like Foley! Nitro tells Foley to enjoy his 19^th retirement and write his blog while he does things Foley never could do. No further questions. It’s nice that they explained Melina’s side, but the story still feels weird.

JR and King talk about Kurt Angle’s release, which felt like quite the surprise.

Post break, JR and King talk about Lita leaking the news that Trish Stratus was leaving after Unforgiven. We see the Trish/Carlito/Randy Orton segment from earlier.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending after taking the title from James two weeks ago. JR: “Mickie James makes Lindsay Lohan look somewhat sane.” They go to the floor to start with Lita ramming her into the apron and taking it back inside to bend the knee around the rope. An enziguri gives Mickie two and a bridging northern lights gets the same. Lita goes for the title but gets kicked away, allowing Mickie to get two more off a rollup. With nothing else working, Lita grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: D. This was nothing as Lita wasn’t exactly on fire in the ring at this point. The match didn’t get any time and it was about half spent on rollups, including the finish. The deal with Lita leaking Trish’s retirement should tell you where things are going but this wasn’t quite the best way to make Lita look more interesting.

We look back at Edge attacking John Cena.

D-Generation X vs. ???

After DX’s signature material and a joke about Vince McMahon and a chicken, Shane comes out to introduce the opponents.

D-Generation X vs. Mr. Kennedy/William Regal/Finlay

Joined in progress with Shawn fighting out of Regal’s chinlock but getting sent to the floor for a clothesline from Finlay. Cue the Leprechaun, and JBL being gone takes so much away from the moment. Back in and the villains take turns stomping away, followed by Finlay’s clothesline giving Regal two. Shawn manages to send Finlay shoulder first into the post though and the hot tag bring in HHH to clean house. Kennedy knocks HHH down but misses the Swanton, allowing DX to put Kennedy on the floor. Regal hits Finlay in the face with a chair by mistake and the Pedigree is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here and that’s all it needed to be, as DX continues to run through everyone save for the McMahons themselves. The ending wasn’t clean so it isn’t like it hurts Regal and Finlay in any serious way. The McMahons aren’t going to be done with them yet so this was a step towards a bigger match in the future.

Post match Shane sends out the Big Show and the other villains get up to beat DX down. Cue Vince McMahon with a lead pipe to bust HHH open. Shawn gets the same and Vince chokes with a cable cord. Vince grabs the mic and says they’re getting back in the ring with DX again. This time though, the Big Show is joining them inside the Cell. Maniacal glaring and a lot of bleeding end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They didn’t have much on this show itself, but they set up a lot of things for the future and that is one of the best things that could be done. Unforgiven is coming up in just a few weeks and they go the two big matches set up tonight. That’s a nice way to build up Unforgiven in a hurry and if they can put together a few more matches that come close to that level, the show could wind up going very well.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 21, 2006
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Summerslam has come and gone and the show didn’t exactly change much. Edge is still World Champion thanks to some shenanigans and that means we are probably continuing John Cena’s chase after the title. Other than that, the McMahons seem to have some new minions to help them against DX, because that’s still going too. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with the long Summerslam recap.

Here is Edge, without the title for some reason, to open things up. He has been waiting for this night his entire life because every person who bought a ticket to see him without the title was wrong. Edge goes outside to laugh at the fans, including some kids, who he shouts were WRONG. But if he’s the champion, where is his belt? And where is his girlfriend? We go to a bridge, where Lita is holding up the title.

Edge wants a burial at sea of the last remnants of John Cena, so Lita throws the belt in the water. Get ready for a new era though, and the ring fills with smoke. The smoke clears and we have the new Rated R belt. For now, any new challengers can step up but for now, he’s off to find Lita. Cue the returning Jeff Hardy and Edge panics. Edge: “DIDN’T YOU DIE THREE YEARS AGO???” Edge says he already ruined Matt Hardy’s career so the beatdown is on with Edge bailing in a hurry.

Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders/Eugene/Jim Duggan

The Squad jumps the motley crew to start and it’s Johnny working on Rory’s wrist to start. Rory sends him into the corner and brings Robbie in, allowing Johnny to kick him straight down. It’s off to Kenny for the jumping elbow to the face for two and Mikey comes in for a chinlock. The fans want Duggan but have to settle for Nicky being launched into Robbie in the corner. A lot of trash talking ensues but Johnny misses the top rope legdrop. That’s enough for the hot tag to Rory (listen to the fans people) as everything breaks down. Robbie pulls Johnny to the floor and it’s a double reverse slingshot suplex to finish Kenny.

Rating: D+. They kept it short here but it would have been nice to have Duggan, who the fans wanted to see, in there for anything other than standing on the apron. The ending does make sense as it sets up another Highlanders title shot, but you can’t tease us with Duggan and then not deliver. It’s un-American. I mean so was Duggan in 2000 but who wants to remember that?

Edge storms into Vince McMahon’s office but finds Coach exercising (on a well plugged Bowflex) because he has been watching the McMahon DVD and wants to be in shape like Vince. Edge does not care because he wants Jeff Hardy tonight. Non-title of course. Coach grants the match but here are Vince and Shane McMahon as Edge leaves. Vince throws the exercising Coach out and complains about last night’s loss not counting because the illegal man was pinned. It’s not over with DX. I wouldn’t have bet on anything else.

Randy Orton is mad about the loss to Hulk Hogan because he got cheated. Tonight, he’s taking it out on Ric Flair, who is a bigger legend than Hogan. Carlito comes in and says it was cool to see Hogan win. Orton says at least he was on Summerslam, because Carlito is just an apple and a t-shirt.

HHH, reading an Air Force magazine, brags about winning last night and coming to Raw this week. On the way there though, they found Vince McMahon’s private plane (cue Shawn Michaels to play with some planes and break stuff. HHH says there was an incident and we cut to the two of them getting off of the plane, which is now painted with a big green DX. See they scratched it and needed to cover it up.

Vince freaks out and breaks the TV.

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish isn’t in her usual gear and almost looks like she is wearing street clothes. Victoria hits her in the face to start so Trish hammers away and dropkicks her to the floor. Back in and a clothesline gets two, setting up a victory roll for the same. Stratusfaction is broken up and Victoria sends her face first into the mat. A headscissors gets Trish out of trouble so Victoria knees her in the head. That just earns her a top rope hurricanrana and now Stratusfaction can connect for the pin.

Rating: C-. They kept it short but both of them did what they could with the time. The problem is I’ve seen these two fight so many times over the years that it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s the problem with having a 3-4 person division for so many years and it was in full force here.

Post match here are Vince and Shane McMahon as soon as the bell rings. Vince says he’s going to have DX arrested so we go to DX talking about Vince McMahon leaving his mark. Just like when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor you see. Vince: “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE AIRPORT!” Shawn says they’re on top of Vince’s world and we pan out to see a giant DX painted on the side of Titan Towers (and DX dropping their pants because of course). Vince is done and leaves in shock, with the Goodbye Song being thrown in as a bonus.

This Week In Wrestling History: Smackdown debuted.

Post break, Vince and Shane run into Mick Foley, who calls him Vince. Foley says he is having a bad night of his own because of his fight last night. Vince doesn’t like this and suggests that Foley join his special club tonight. Foley calls that ridiculous and freaks out but Vince threatens to fire someone if he doesn’t.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and Lita is here with Edge. Jeff starts fast with a baseball slide and slingshot dive before the bell. We officially get started with Edge sending Hardy into the steps and then kicking him in the face back inside. An elbow to the back sets up Edge bending Hardy’s back around the post for a four count. Back up and Hardy scores with a clothesline, followed by a DDT for two. The Edge O Matic gets the same but a quick Whisper in the Wind drops Edge again. Hardy kicks him in the face for two and the Twist of Fate connects. The Swanton connects as well but Lita grabs Edge’s foot at two, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time here but these two have so much history together that it is always worth a look. It’s great to have Hardy back and having him have Edge beaten until Lita made the save was a pretty good return. You can probably pencil them in for a title match or two and that is a smart way to go early on.

Post match here’s John Cena to charge into the arena and go after Edge. They fight backstage and go outside with Edge getting in a cheap shot and running away as we take a break. Back with the fight continuing near the harbor and Cena sending him head first into a wall. Then he throws Edge into a tree (Cena: “YOU GOTTA BE ONE WITH NATURE B****!”) and chokes him with a gardening hose before throwing him in the water. Then Edge found out that Long Island Sound is some of the most polluted water in the world and got very sick.

Melina comes up to thank Foley for saving her from Ric Flair last week. Foley isn’t sure what to do tonight so Melina says to think it through. He is her mentor and best friend so she’ll support whatever decision he makes.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Kane

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Kane shoulders him down to start and Nitro bails to the apron like a smart champion. Back in and Nitro avoids a charge so he can hammer away in the corner. A springboard is knocked out of the air as Lawler is impressed with Melina’s screaming. There’s the top rope clothesline to Nitro but Umaga runs in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on, including the Samoan Spike. Kane sits up a few moments later so Umaga kicks him down again. The middle rope spike to the throat makes Kane spit up blood, sending JR into hysterics.

Clips from Summerslam.

We look at Layla winning the Diva Search. Good for her.

JR can’t believe that Foley might join Vince’s club.

We get the premiere of the trailer for the Marine. Who would have guessed the series would make it about ten years? This isn’t on the Network.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

Flair has a black eye and a lot of bandages on his head. Orton tries to jump him to start so Flair hammers away. The suplex cuts Flair off though and Orton clotheslines him to the floor (only took two tries). There’s a dropkick off the apron to drop Flair again and a suplex on the floor makes it worse. Back in and Orton slowly stomps away before taking it outside for a whip into the steps. They head inside again with Orton stomping away and hitting the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C. I’m never sure what to call these angles described as a match, which is all you had here. Flair could barely move and that makes sense after the match he had the previous night. It’s not like this means much of anything, but Flair is going to get some good sympathy for trying to do anything when he looks like that.

Post match Orton beats on Flair even more until the referee reverses the decision. Orton goes after Flair again so Carlito makes the save.

We look at William Regal joining Vince McMahon’s club.

Vince and Shane are in the ring with Vince almost dancing over the idea of Foley joining the club. Foley, with Melina, won’t do it because he loves the WWE but doesn’t need it. He has saved a fortune on clothes over the years, hasn’t had a haircut in ten years and drives a used minivan. Vince says Foley must be having trouble hearing with that half ear. See, it isn’t Foley who is going to be fired, but rather Melina. She tries to talk him out of it but Foley says he has had his career and now it is her turn to be a star.

Foley has even made her the godfather to his youngest son. After this, they’re going to find some mouthwash so Vince needs to drop his pants. Foley gets it over with, yells at Vince, and gets dropped by a low blow from Melina. Oh and Foley is fired anyway, with Melina screaming the announcement. Vince, Shane and Melina leave with Vince talking about things he likes having done to his a**. Tomorrow, he’s going to New York to have an a**ial.

Melina is handed off to Johnny Nitro and Vince gets angry at DX all over again. He goes to the limo, yells at the driver for not wearing a tie, and drives….well not that far because there is a cable attached to the axle, which flies off. Vince crawls out of the limo, also painted with the DX logo, and has a complete nervous breakdown to end the show. So Vince is loony, Foley is stupid for trusting a villain like Melina, and DX is apparently Batman by being able to get around and paint everything. That’s quite the ten minute segment.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a complete screeching halt as it was almost all about the DX vs. McMahon feud, which is still going after about eight months. Then there is the Foley stuff, which was weird in the first place and then hasn’t gotten any better since. Was there any doubt that Melina was going to turn on him at some point? The wrestling wasn’t very good either, but maybe they needed a breather after the major show. At least the Hardy return was good, but this was a dreadful show for the most part.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 14, 2006
Location: John Paul Jones Arena, Charlottesville, Virginia
Attendance: 6,139
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we are in the final push for the show. I’m curious to see what that is going to include as the show is ready, but you never know what kind of twists they might throw in here. If nothing else, I think you know where most of the stories are going and that’s not too bad given how pay per view builds can go at times. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Edge and Lita to get things going and apparently something happened today at John Cena’s father’s house. Before we get to that though, Edge wants to tell us a story about….himself. He has to defend his title against Cena at Summerslam and has to do it in Cena’s home turf. On top of that, he has to defend the title against Carlito later tonight so things are a little hectic. He and Lita took a little trip to cool off….all the way to West Newberry, Massachusetts, at the home of John Cena Sr.

With Edge narrating, we see them walking through the house and mocking Cena’s throwback jersey and all of the mementos in the closets. Then they went downstairs and saw Cena’s Wall Of Lame, when Cena’s dad finally showed up to throw them out. They pause the video, and now we see the actual footage without the narration, including Edge slapping Cena’s dad in the face…and leave. Therefore, John Cena isn’t here tonight so Edge recaps his history with Cena to lead us up to Sunday. Every story needs a big ending, and at Summerslam, Edge is throwing on his black hat and riding away.

So in a story you might not have heard, Cena and Edge discussed this on a WWE Network show called Untold. Apparently there was WAY more footage filmed, but Cena Sr.’s acting was so over the top and completely hammy that it was basically impossible to put on television, hence the narrated version. Given how bad some of the acting on this show can be, how awful must that have been?

JR and King preview the show, including the non-title match with Edge meeting Carlito.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and has Edge in her corner. Mickie gets slapped into the corner to start but comes back with some right hands to the face. A dropkick puts Lita down again but she pulls Mickie off the top by the hair. Lita snapmares her into more right hands to the face and we hit the double arm crank. Mickie fights up and hits some running elbows to the face and the hurricanrana out of the corner connects. Lita’s DDT is countered with a grab of the rope but Mickie gets distracted by Edge, allowing Lita to grab a rollup for two, even with her feet on the ropes. Edge offers another distraction though and a belt shot gives Lita the title.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of a random title win as Lita hasn’t been in action much at all as of late, but at the same time, it’s not like the title has meant anything in months. Go with what makes sense so the top heels can both have titles. It works well enough, even if the match wasn’t much to see.

Mick Foley congratulates Lita on the win before moving on to ranting about Ric Flair. This Sunday will see the complete destruction of Ric Flair’s career because he is taking Flair to a new level of hardcore. If Flair wants to, he can join Foley on ECW but for tonight, he’ll be ringside for Flair’s match against Johnny Nitro.

Umaga vs. Alex Sage

Umaga starts with the usual, continues with the usual and finishes with the usual.

We’re waiting on something in the parking lot.

Ric Flair vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title with Melina at ringside. Nitro takes him into the corner to start but gets chopped right back. An enziguri drops Flair and a neckbreaker gives Nitro two. Nitro misses a corkscrew moonsault but here’s Foley for the fast DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on with Foley sending him into the steps. The big crushing with the steps misses so Foley hammers away at the head instead.

It’s Diva Search time with Milena being eliminated to get us down to three. With the three left, it’s time for a water fight with Victoria/Torrie Wilson/Candice Michelle (hence the white tops and swimsuits). Torrie licks Candice’s face and the Raw women win, with Miz and JR getting soaked too.

Video on Randy Orton.

JR plugs something called WWE 24/7.

Here’s D-Generation X for a chat (with some large wet spots still in the ring). They hit the catchphrase, insisting that it is Vince McMahon’s favorite activity. Shawn talks about how the last few weeks have been a bit rough, save for him getting to work on his prison ministry last week. Other than that, there have always been two things that you can count on from DX: they have always done everything they want, whenever they want.

That leads into the new Vince Loves Roosters shirt, which brings out Vince and Shane McMahon to interrupt, complete with a bunch of cops (one of whom kind of resembles Roderick Strong). Shane shows us a clip of the recent individual beatdowns on HHH and Shawn and Vince promises to end the DX party at Summerslam.

The only name that matters is McMahon, and they will bring down the wrath of Satan at Summerslam. HHH cuts off the catchphrase and promises that the two of them will take care of the McMahons on Sunday. Bring whoever you want, because DX will be waiting on them. Standard final push towards the big match.

Eugene/Jim Duggan vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title. Duggan beats up Kenny and Mikey to start but a cheap shot sends him out to the floor. Cue the Highlanders to glare at the rest of the Squad as Duggan gets beaten up inside. Duggan clotheslines him way to freedom and it’s a hot tag to Eugene to start cleaning house. Johnny sneaks in with his top rope spinwheel kick so the Highlanders sneak in with the Scot Drop to give Eugene the pin.

Rating: D. Another nothing match in a series of them tonight as the build to the Highlanders vs. the Spirit Squad continues to go backwards. Eugene and Duggan might get a one off title match but this is all about the Highlanders. In other words, it’s a bunch of people with over the top gimmicks fighting over the lowest level titles in the company. At least it was short.

Jeff Hardy is back next week. Cool.

Armando Alejandro Estrada offers the McMahons Umaga’s services on Sunday. Wasn’t that already established over the last two weeks?

Summerslam rundown.

Carlito kisses Trish Stratus for luck.

Carlito vs. Edge

Non-with with Trish Stratus and Lita at ringside. Carlito jumps him to start and gets two off an early suplex. A chop sends Edge into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs and a hard whip puts him down again. Carlito nails a springboard flip dive and Edge bails to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Carlito in trouble and Edge grabbing a waistlock. Carlito fights up but Lita grabs his foot, earning herself a shot from Trish. The knee lift into a springboard elbow drops Edge for two and there’s a hurricanrana for the same. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but the spear hits the corner. Edge counters the Backstabber but here’s Cena to jump Edge for the DQ.

Rating: C. It really is amazing to see how much better Carlito is when he’s motivated. He may not be an instant classic most of the time or anything, but he can do quite a few nice things when he’s trying. The problem is that Carlito barely ever tried and that made for some rather dull matches. This was one of the better ones, but the ending kept it from being able to mean much. Granted that’s the only way the ending could have gone given the big segment earlier.

Post match the mauling is on with referees barely able to pull Cena off.

Here’s Randy Orton to call out Hulk Hogan. There’s no Hogan though, which Orton says is smart. Hogan really does know best because he knows what would happen to him if he crossed Orton. We see a Legend Killer highlight reel before Orton says Hogan was the inspiration for the Legend Killer. Orton has promised himself that he will end Hulkamania forever and that will take place at Summerslam.

Cue Hogan….or at least a decent impersonator of the real one. Fake Hogan knows that Orton can kill his legend because Hogan has a bad knee from the couch accident. He’ll soil himself on Sunday, but for now here’s the real Hogan to interrupt. The real Hulk clears Orton out and beats up the impostor, who is sent outside. Hogan says Hulkamania will be at Summerslam and its legend cannot be killed. The catchphrase and posing end the show. This was a bit long but it sold the point well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. This had the same problem that so many go home shows have: there was nothing really new added because the show was already set up. The Edge/Cena Sr. stuff didn’t have nearly the impact they were hoping for because we only saw about ten seconds of it, but at least they tried. The show was ok enough, but you absolutely didn’t need to watch this to get ready for Summerslam.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 24, 2006
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and that means it’s time to start cranking up the build towards the show. You can guess where a lot of the card is going but they still need to hammer home some of the details. That can be quite the tricky situation but hopefully they can figure it out. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn Michaels (and only Shawn, as Stephanie McMahon went into labor earlier in the day so the McMahons and HHH are a little busy) to get things going. A few weeks ago, he and HHH said that Stephanie McMahon had gone into labor and that was a lie. After a quick chat with God, Shawn says that life imitates art because Stephanie is currently in a hospital in Connecticut giving birth. As good family, Vince and Shane are at her side but HHH is at the hospital as well. Now between you and me, Shawn thinks HHH knows who the father is.

Cue Jonathan Coachman, on the phone with Vince, to interrupt. Vince has decided that Shawn won’t be running amuck tonight because the Coach is in charge. Shawn takes the phone and has Cleveland give Shawn two words. Shawn: “No sir they didn’t say that. They said hi!”

Shawn gives Vince some Lamaze lessons and then hands the phone to Coach because Vince is rather annoyed. Coach hangs up and Shawn asks if Vince asked about him. It turns out that Vince has made a match tonight with Shawn vs…..Coach himself. Shawn pauses and then bursts out laughing needing Coach to hold him up. A pause sets up more laughter and Shawn falls to the mat in hysterics. They had to throw this together at the last minute so this was as good of a plan as they could think of.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking Hulk Hogan at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Lilian Garcia is back so we look at Viscera attacking her two weeks ago.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

The Highlanders are challenging. Kenny sends Rory (not Robbie JR/Lawler) into the buckle and it goes rather badly. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the Highlanders getting in some right hands in the corner. Rory is sent outside and it’s Robbie in trouble until he neckbreakers his way to freedom. It’s off to Rory to clean house but a distraction lets the rest of the team break up the Scot Drop. Kenny Rolls the Dice to finish Rory and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well that was necessary. They bring the Highlanders in, give them some nothing wins, and then have the Squad beat them in about three minutes. It might not be the end of the team, but were they that bad that you needed to have them lose so soon? Nothing match due to the time, but man that’s a fast defeat after bringing them in.

Mick Foley joins us from WWE Studios and can’t believe that Ric Flair called him “fat boy” last week. It hurt then and it hurt thirty years ago when Foley’s brother used it on him. Flair uses a fourth grade insult because he has nothing left and is nothing but a second rate circus sideshow. What has become of Flair? Now all he is doing is attacking innocent women, one of whom happens to be a friend of Foley’s. He’ll see Flair next Monday.

This week in wrestling history: Great American Bash 1989. Yep that works.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. Flair talks about the clip we just saw, which featured him beating up Foley’s mentor Terry Funk. Now all Flair wants is Foley in a match in any arena in this country. Cue Edge and Lita to say that Edge is the man now….and here’s Johnny Nitro to jump Flair from behind. The double teaming is on but John Cena runs in for the save.

Carlito hits on Trish Stratus and they’ll be hanging out after the match.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon to try and get out of the match but Edge and Lita come in to rant about what just happened. Vince has a solution: Edge/Nitro vs. Cena/Flair tonight.

We get an official announcement that Stephanie has given birth to a girl named Aurora Rose.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

For the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title, which Carlito beat Shelton for last week. Carlito grabs some early rollups for near falls to start and a quick dropkick gets two. Benjamin is sent to the apron but pulls Carlito over the top by the arm to take over. Back in and a DDT on the arm sets up an armbar to stay on the shoulder.

Carlito fights up and hits a hurricanrana to head up top, only to dive into a Fujiwara armbar. The rope gives Carlito the break and he counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two. The Backstabber connects for two as Shelton gets his foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Carlito takes the turnbuckle pad off so the referee goes to yell. Shelton uses the distraction to get in a low blow for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. They had a little more time here though this would seem to be setting up a triple threat for the title at Summerslam. If that’s the case, I’ve heard of far worse ideas than putting these two with Nitro on a big stage for a title. It could work out well for all three and WWE could benefit from pushing younger stars for the Intercontinental Title.

We look at the Diva Dance Off from Smackdown.

Here’s Hulk Hogan (the greatest sports entertainment attraction of all time according to JR) and the ovation takes a rather good while, with the song starting over. Hulk talks about how crazy these Cleveland fans are but he knows that Randy Orton is crazy too. This wouldn’t even be the first time that he has dealt with the Orton family. Back in the 80s, Hogan dealt with Randy’s dad Bob.

When the blood was shed, there was respect on both sides. Now Hogan has to deal with Randy, who comes out to cut Hogan off. Randy is here to talk about Brooke Hogan and yes there was chemistry there. You could see it, even with Hulk’s fading eyesight. He and Brooke talked for at least five or ten minutes before Hulk showed up.

Brooke told him how handsome he was and how she loved the color of his eyes. The only bad thing is that Brooke is going to have to see her father’s legend killed. Hulk is ready to fight right now so Orton heads to ringside but takes his time. Hogan knocks him off the apron and into Jerry Lawler, who throws Orton inside for some right hands. Orton bails from the threat of the big boot. Nice little tease of the match here.

Mickie James vs. Candice Michelle

Non-title. Mickie kicks away for an early two and the chinlock goes on. Lawler makes his usual jokes as Mickie gets in the shoulders to the ribs. Candice is back with the figure four neck lock over the ropes, only to have Mickie roll through a high crossbody and grab trunks (or something close to them) for the fast pin.

Jerry Lawler threw out the first pitch at an Indians game.

Shawn Michaels vs. Jonathan Coachman

Shawn’s pyro is missing so he blames Coach. The bell rings so hang on a second as Shawn rolls outside to grab a skullcap. Coach nearly loses his pants and there’s the forearm into a nip up. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow….and here’s most of the Spirit Squad. Shawn dispatches them in a hurry so Sweet Chin Music drops the coach. Cue Umaga to jump Shawn for the DQ. This was an angle instead of a match but it worked fine.

Post match Umaga hits Shawn with the Samoan Spike to leave him laying as DX might have to sweat a bit for the first time in a few months.

John Cena thinks Maria is a little confused. Yes she’s beautiful, but sometimes he thinks she ate paint chips when she was a kid. Then sometimes he looks at her and thinks about things he only see in Penthouse Forum and….where was he going with this again? Anyway the show is being run by a phone tonight because Stephanie had a baby (Cena: “And HHH might have an inside track on knowing who the father is. He knows somebody or something.”). Then you have Edge, who is really rated PG-13 and Lita is rated NC-17 (Cena: “No Cold Sores In 17 Days!”).

Then there is Johnny Nitro, who is named after a natural gas and I’ll let you figure out the jokes yourself. Then you have the Legend Killer trying to put the moves on the legend’s daughter (Cena: “And I can’t blame him.”) but remember: Hogan Knows Best. Cena runs down the rest of the midcard and says that the big point is so clear even Maria can understand it: his partner is Ric Flair and they get to beat up Edge. Cena tells Maria to call him to wrap up a rather all over the place promo. Again though: the show was rewritten in a hurry so maybe he was told to just go fill time.

It’s time for the Diva Search elimination with Maryse being eliminated. I’m sure we’ll never see her again. This Friday: it’s musical chairs, with Miz nearly cracking up at the idea.

John Cena/Ric Flair vs. Edge/Johnny Nitro

Flair and Nitro lock up to start with Nitro getting smart by going to the eye. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the villains being cleared out as we take a break. Back with Cena getting beaten down with Edge getting in a little dance. Cena fights out and gets over to Flair for the tag as the pace picks up. The Figure Four goes on Nitro but Edge makes the save and hits the spear.

Nitro grabs a neckbreaker to send Flair outside but he’s back in with the chops. A clothesline takes Flair down though and he is knocked outside again to keep up the beating. Back in and Edge gets chopped out of the air, allowing the hot tag to Cena so house can be cleaned. Lita offers a distraction though so a chair to the back can give Nitro two. Cena is fine enough to grab the STFU to make Nitro tap.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill main event tag here and that’s fine. I know the Intercontinental Champion had to tap out but it’s not like Nitro is anywhere near Cena’s level at this point. They’re still teasing Cena FINALLY getting his hands on Edge and I think you know where this whole thing is going. Not a great match or anything, but for a one off main event, it worked well.

Cena and Edge yell at each other a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They didn’t have much to offer here but it worked out well enough all things considered. Again though, how much can you really complain about when the show is thrown out of wack due to Stephanie having a baby? There is still time to set up Summerslam and it’s not like you can’t see the card from here anyway. Not a very good show, but it didn’t need to be this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6