Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 11,879
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Vince McMahon is the WWF Champion. What else is there to say in a situation like this? McMahon won the title from HHH in little more than a fluke after interference from Steve Austin and that means things are going to get even wackier around here. We’re also six days away from Unforgiven so we’ll have to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH challenging Vince McMahon to a WWF Title match on Smackdown and somehow managing to lose the title, albeit thanks to Steve Austin.

Opening sequence.

JR calls this an action adventure series. Good grief Vince stop overthinking things.

Here is Vince McMahon, who opens his jacket to reveal the title in a great shot. Vince says anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation and the grin is amazing. The thing is, due to a previous agreement, he can’t have anything to do with day to day business. Therefore, the title is officially vacant and the winner of the Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven will be the new champion.

Cue Steve Austin to interrupt, saying that while they can’t stand each other, the place hasn’t been the same without him. Austin gets to the point though: if Vince isn’t in the match at Unforgiven, there are five people in a Six Pack and Austin doesn’t like an incomplete Six Pack. He wants Vince to put him in the match but that would be doing business so Vince isn’t allowed.

Cue HHH and Chyna, again with security, to interrupt. HHH is livid and wants the title shot too….but Austin says there are 16,000 (not quite) people calling him an a******. HHH threatens Vince, only to have Shane McMahon come out and say no one in his family is getting hurt. Tonight, we’ll do Vince/Shane vs. HHH/Chyna, which surprises Vince.

Shane leaves and Vince recaps the “I can’t do business” thing, but Austin says that the fine print (HELLO RUSSO!) says Austin and Austin alone can reinstate him. He’ll do it for a title shot, which works for Vince….but Austin will face the winner rather than being in the Six Pack Challenge. HHH is in the match, because it means more people can beat him up.

HHH says screw Vince, but Vince says screw HHH, because Austin is going to be the guest enforcer. They were rushing through stuff here and the “you didn’t read the fine print” stuff is always horrible. Otherwise, Vince dropping the belt is fine as there was no reason to keep the title on him for any length of time.

Rock meets a security guard named Louise and sings her some Elvis as a birthday present. And gives her money.

Mankind is in the boiler room and gets in a fight with Mideon, who appears to just be browsing. Viscera comes in to help beat Mankind out through the door, where Big Show helps beat him up as we take a break. During the break, the Rock made the save.

Video on Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho.

The referees are still on strike.

Chris Jericho vs. Billy Gunn

Curtis Hughes is here too. Jericho’s shoulder runs Gunn over to start (that’s a surprise) but Gunn is back up with a suplex. They head outside where Gunn goes after Hughes, allowing Jericho to come back with a triangle dropkick. The floor pads are peeled back but Gunn suplexes him onto…well onto the pads actually. Hughes gets in a cheap shot but Gunn is fine enough to grab a powerslam for two back inside. The Jackhammer connects, only for Jericho to grab replacement referee Tom Prichard. That lets Hughes DDT Gunn onto the concrete, so the Walls can finish the out cold Gunn.

Rating: C+. Yeah you had interference and such, but this was as close as you’re going to get to a clean match around here. Jericho gets a win over someone with some status, but it also makes Hughes look like that much more of a threat. Hughes looked like a goof in his first appearances, so having him actually help Jericho is a good move.

Mankind tells Michael Cole to know his mouth and shut his role (yep) because he wants Big Show and Undertaker to defend the Tag Team Titles against himself and the Rock. Cue the Rock to complain about a broken watch, even though he wasn’t here to do anything but sing Happy Birthday to….that old woman whose name he can’t remember.

After putting a Rock shirt over Cole’s head (Rock didn’t like how he was looking at him), Rock goes on about Undertaker not liking his trash talk. Rock even talks trash in his sleep (and he demonstrates) and the challenge is on. Mankind keeps the shirt and insists that everything between himself and Rock is platonic.

Undertaker tells Rock to find his writers to come up with an apology for him because he’s in trouble. The title match is on, under Darkside Rules, whatever that means.

Here is Ivory, who says it’s time to party. She’s sick of all the vermin and insects in this time (JR: “I haven’t seen any rats!”) but will defend the title against any sick creature on the roster, like Luna Vachon! For now though, she issues a challenge to anyone in the crowd and here’s a woman to accept. And of course it’s Luna.

Luna vs. Ivory

Non-title and Luna gives her a slam into a DDT for the pin in short order.

D’Lo Brown says he was just trying to look out for his friend when he tried to get Mark Henry in better shape. He’s ready to beat Henry up at Unforgiven, but Henry chairs him in the back.

The McMahons talk strategy.

Post break, D’Lo Brown jumps in a car and drives off, presumably after Mark Henry.

Test, with Stephanie McMahon, is ready for a street fight against Jeff Jarrett. Cue Jarrett, who says he wants a mixed tag instead, with Stephanie and Debra as partners. Stephanie accepts and even Test knows this is a really bad idea.

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Gangrel is here with the Hardys and the Acolytes are on commentary. Bradshaw gives the Acolytes’ three demandments: don’t drink our beer, don’t mess with our rats and don’t cut a promo on us! Stevie Richards walks down, dressed as a Dudley Boy, as Faarooq mocks Bubba Ray’s stutter. Richards’ distraction doesn’t work but he gets in a brawl with Gangrel, allowing Matt to get two off a neckbreaker. Instead it’s a suplex into the Swanton for two on D-Von, only for Bubba to powerbomb Jeff on the floor. Matt misses a moonsault and the 3D finishes him off.

Post match the Acolytes are in to brawl with the Dudleyz, with Richards and Gangrel still fighting. There was WAY too much going on in this whole thing, but Bradshaw going unhinged was funny.

Jeff Jarrett puts the makeup woman in the Figure Four.

Jeff Jarrett/Debra vs. Test/Stephanie McMahon

Test slams him down to start but Jarrett is back up with a shot to the face. Debra won’t tag in so Test hits the pumphandle powerslam. The top rope elbow connects and Stephanie pins Jarrett in less than two minutes. Remember that Jarrett is the reigning Intercontinental Champion with a pay per view title defense, not against Test, in six days.

Post match Jarrett yells at Debra and puts her in the Figure Four.

Rock isn’t listening to anything Mankind says. Mankind: “ROODY POO!”

Undertaker is talking to Kane.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/The Rock vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Undertaker and Big Show are defending in Darkside Rules which means….no idea yet, but Rock thinks it means Mideon and Viscera will get involved. Rock didn’t like Undertaker suggesting that Rock has writers, so he wrote his own little rhyme about sending Undertaker to the Smackdown Hotel. Undertaker sits in on commentary and still won’t explain the rules, but here are Mideon and Viscera, just like the Rock predicted.

Apparently this is now a handicap match (with Rock and Show in street clothes) as Mideon and Mankind start things off. Mankind hits a running knee in the corner but Show takes him outside for a rather hard toss. It’s quickly off to Rock for the Rock Bottom on Viscera with Mideon having to make the save (Undertaker: “That’s harmony.” Harmony?). Cue Kane, whose top rope clothesline hits Big Show, apparently on purpose. Kane knocks Show to the floor and leaves, with Undertaker swearing Vengeance. The Mandible Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish Mideon to give Rock and Mankind the titles.

Rating: C-. Sure why not. That’s the reaction to a lot of these things, but Rock and Mankind were able to make almost anything work. It’s becoming more and more obvious that Undertaker is injured and unable to wrestle at the moment, so this was about the only way to get the titles off of he and Show. Not much of a match of course because that’s not the point, but a coherent ten minute match would be nice for a change.

Marianna, looking roughed up, says she made a mistake with Shawn Stasiak but doesn’t deserve this. Chaz comes up and gets taken away by cops. So not only are they doing a domestic abuse angle, but Chaz was wearing Scooby Doo boxers.

Undertaker sends his minions after Kane.

Steve Blackman vs. Shawn Stasiak

Val Venis comes out with Blackman’s bag of weapons and joins commentary as Stasiak kicks away in the corner. Venis makes references about Blackman being, uh, small in certain areas as JR hears a buzzing noise. They trade kicks as commentary keeps going on about the buzzing. Blackman grabs the bag and finds…a vibrator. Stasiak gets a rollup for the fast pin. Keep in mind that we went from a domestic abuse angle to this in the span of five minutes.

Here is Undertaker to call Kane a weak coward and it ends tonight. Cue Kane, but here are Mideon, Viscera and Big Show to beat him down. Kane is covered in gasoline but Show can’t get the lighter to work, allowing Mankind and Rock to make the save with baseball bats.

Earlier today, Al Snow had a funeral for Pepper, with the rottweilers standing guard. Snow swears vengeance….and then we cut to a still from GTV of Big Boss Man relieving himself on the grave.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Boss Man

Hardcore match with Crash Holly in Hardcore’s corner. After Hardcore makes a reference to Boss Man being, uh, soft in a certain personal area, they fight to the floor to start. Boss Man hits him with a chair but Hardcore breaks a pitcher over Boss Man’s head. Cue Al Snow on screen to show the rottweilers attacking a dummy. Boss Man handcuffs Hardcore to the rope but Crash gets in a shot with a wrench for the pin (with Hardcore still cuffed).

Mark Henry is at a strip club when D’Lo Brown attacks. The dancers were totally fine with a full camera crew filming them on national TV.

Jeff Jarrett jumps Chyna again but HHH and security break it up.

HHH/Chyna vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Before the match, HHH promises to win the WWF Title back and neither Vince nor Austin can do anything about it. Hold on though as there’s no Vince, as there is a forklift blocking his dressing room door. We have a substitute though.

HHH/Chyna vs. Test/Shane McMahon

It’s a brawl to start with Shane spearing Chyna and then doing the same to HHH before all four fight outside. Back in and Shane gets crotched on the buckle as something resembling a tag match breaks out. HHH stomps away and hits the facebuster for two before Chyna grabs the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Shane brings in Test to hammer on HHH In the corner. What looks to be a superplex is broken up but Shane is back in with the Bronco Buster. Cue Jeff Jarrett to draw Chyna to the back, leaving HHH to block Test’s top rope elbow. Another low blow puts Shane down again so HHH decks the referee. Back to back Pedigrees leave Shane and Test laying so HHH wears them out with a chair, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was thee closest thing to a match that I’ve seen around here in a few months so it could have been worse. HHH going out there to wreck people is acceptable in this case as Test had already wrestled (barely, but he did wrestle) and Shane isn’t a full time wrestler, meaning it was logical enough. Not much of a match and too much going on, but that’s how things work around here.

Post match HHH goes to leave but Vince McMahon pops up to hit him with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case forever with Russo, the problem comes down to “slow down already”. There is just so much going on and it hurts the good things that are taking place. It’s easy enough to keep track of stuff, but having Chaz beating up his ex-girlfriend (or at last implying it) and then the stuff with Venis and Blackman comes so far out of left field and brings things down. They really need to cut out the terrible parts to boost this up, because even Austin and company can only do so much with nonsense like “here’s the fine print”.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 16, 1999
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Unforgiven and in this case everything is crashing down around HHH. While he survived a title match with Steve Austin on Raw, Vince McMahon is back after HHH went after Linda McMahon. That can’t end well, but we still don’t have a #1 contender to the pay per view in ten days. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw if you need a recap.

We open with the referees on strike over unsafe working conditions. Why do wrestling promotions think stories about referees are interesting?

Opening sequence.

Here is Steve Austin to get things going. Just because he got disqualified against HHH on Raw doesn’t mean that they’re done with each other by a long shot. When HHH beat him in the knee with a chair, he should have done that much more, because HHH didn’t get the job done. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight and we should make it No Holds Barred.

Or if HHH wants to do this the hard way, Austin can just beat him so badly that he’s going to the hospital. Cue HHH and Chyna, with a bunch of cops backing them up. HHH says that’s not happening because Austin has to go to the back of the line. The title will be defended tonight though, against a main eventer of HHH’s choice. Austin promises to follow HHH all night and it’s going to involve his foot going….well you get the idea.

HHH will officially defend the title in a Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven after the five way match went to a no contest. That’s a heck of a way to jump from nothing to something.

Here is Shane McMahon, who calls out Joey Abs because of what Joey said about Stephanie McMahon on Raw. Cue the Mean Street Posse, with Terri, so Shane dives onto Joey to start fast.

Shane McMahon vs. Joey Abs

There’s no referee because of the strike, making me wonder why the bell ring if there was no one to call it. The rest of the Posse jumps Shane before going outside as Stephanie and Test are watching in the back. Here is Gerald Brisco to count two off Shane’s rollup and another two off Joey’s suplex.

Shane’s jumping back elbow gets two but Briscoe gets in a fight with Pete Gas on the floor. Rodney comes in to beat on Shane, who fights the off as Pat Patterson, in shorts, comes out to count two on Joey, with Rodney breaking that up as well. Shane hits a corkscrew Swanton (close to a Spinal Tap) for the pin with Shawn Stasiak of all people coming in as the third referee.

Rating: C-. A match between Shane McMahon and a member of the Mean Street Posse, which didn’t even last four minutes, had three referees, two people interfering, and two fights involving some of those referees, who were replacements because the referees are on strike. That’s about as 1999 as you can get and it’s rather exhausting to keep track of all this stuff. That being said, the place was going nuts for Shane, which is one of the reasons he was around so often.

Post match Stephanie comes out and drops Joey again.

Here is Women’s Champion Ivory, who is SO EXCITED that actress/model Cindy Margolis is here. She invites Cindy into the ring and gushes over Cindy’s beauty and star power. Ivory asks Cindy to do one of the poses she gets downloaded on her website but Cindy declines. That doesn’t work for Ivory, who threatens violence if it doesn’t happen. Cindy eventually does it…and here is Jeff Jarrett to put Cindy in the Figure Four, with Cindy kind of begging him not to and then grabbing her knee. Jarrett Figure Fours Ivory for a bonus.

HHH, in trunks but without elbow pads for a weird look, says he won’t be defending against Steve Austin.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. Steve Blackman

Henry is defending after skipping a tag match with Blackman on Raw. Tony Garea is referee as Blackman kicks Henry down without much trouble. Cue Val Venis with a kendo stick to Blackman though, allowing Henry to get the easy pin.

Post match D’Lo Brown comes in and Sky Highs Henry (that wasn’t bad).

Jeff Jarrett yells at Cindy Margolis as she is put in an ambulance. Test comes in for the brawl.

Post break Jarrett challenges Test to a match tonight.

Here is Chris Jericho, with Curtis Hughes, for a chat. Jericho declares himself one bad mamma jamma and says Ken Shamrock has finally admitted defeat. Shamrock has begged him to make sure that they never meet face to face again and then licked the dust off Jericho’s boots in gratitude. He’s also begged Hughes to not rip him limb from limb, but Jericho is allowing Hughes to take his place against Shamrock tonight. That’s not all though, because Jericho has a special guest referee for this match: the masked Mexican legend, El Dopo!

Curtis Hughes vs. Ken Shamrock

Chris Jericho is on commentary as Shamrock takes Hughes down and strikes away. Hughes takes him to the floor for a drop onto the barricade as Cole dares to ask Jericho why he won’t face Shamrock. With that nonsense out of the way, Shamrock fights up and sends Hughes into various steel objects. Jericho offers a distraction though and Hughes cuts Shamrock off so the double teaming can be on. Back in and Hughes drops an elbow for two but Shamrock kneebars him. Hughes grabs the rope so Dopo immediately calls for the DQ.

Post match Shamrock is livid and unmasks Dopo as Howard Finkel, which was fairly obvious as soon as he came into the arena.

Mankind is expecting total mayhem in the five man Royal Rumble, but he and Rock will be working as a team. They’re like an automobile, with Rock being a fine engine and Mankind being the one who holds the bags. Yes he’s the rear end, but he’s the People’s Rear End. And he doesn’t like HHH either!

Remember how the referees were on strike earlier today? They’re still on strike.

Royal Rumble

Five entrants, because we need 1/6 size Royal Rumble with one minute intervals. Rock is in at #1 and talks about how Big Show, Kane or Undertaker need to go play the People’s Slow Machine to land three Brahma Bulls. You’d see Undertaker, with his Mickey Mouse tattoos and his 33lb head jumping around like a girl, Kane doing cartwheels and using his voicebox to say “I won, I won, let’s party”, and Big Show just scaring people in general.

Then the Rock himself would arrive, watch the tears stream down their cheeks, and gather up all the gold coins that they won and…well you know the bit. Anyway, after that whole thing, which I remember reciting with my friends when I was 11 because it was the funniest thing I had ever heard at the time, Big Show is in at #2 and we’re ready to go.

Rock strikes away to start but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Mankind ins in at #3 and the double teaming has Show in trouble. After what felt like a rather quick minute, Kane is in at #4 so Rock hammers away on him as Show chokes Mankind in the corner. Undertaker, in street clothes, is in at #5 to complete the field but he sits in on commentary rather than getting inside. The other four brawl, with Mankind clotheslining Kane out, only to get thrown out by Rock. Show hits a chokeslam on Rock but can’t throw him out, which is enough for Undertaker to get in the ring and dump them both for the win.

Rating: C-. What is there to say about a match like this? It wasn’t long and ended with something of a screwy finish as Undertaker did one thing and won the match. There was nothing but bragging rights on the line and that doesn’t leave much in the way of interest. Having the star power in there helped, but you need something more interesting for those stars to do.

Post match Mideon and Viscera come in to help Show beat Rock down.

Here are the Hollys to say Chyna has had more than enough time to find a partner. Cue Chyna, who is going to do this on her own.

Hollys vs. Chyna

Chyna forearms Crash (whose gear says HARDCORE HOLLY) to start so it’s quickly off to Hardcore (whose gear also says HARDCORE HOLLY). A shot to the face staggers Hardcore as well and it’s a double low blow to put the cousins down. Hardcore takes Chyna down and here is Billy Gunn to join in as Chyna’s partner. That doesn’t go well to start as a double elbow to the face puts Chyna down and Hardcore adds a suplex. Chyna DDTs her way to freedom though and it’s Gunn coming in to clean house. The Fameasser is good for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Another nothing mach but at least it was long enough to rate for once. In theory Chyna would want to go it alone here and isn’t likely to be happy with Gunn for making the save. The match was just kind of there to give Chyna a reason to get mad, and there are worse options available.

Post match Chyna yells at Gunn, as she didn’t want help, but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit her in the back with a frying pan and cover her with an apron. Jarrett gives her a soup ladle and the frying pan, saying now all she has to do is start fixing him supper.

Big Boss Man, with a bag labeled “DOGGIE BAG” is ready for….the Pepper On A Pole match. Sweet goodness can Russo quit already?

Big Boss Man vs. Al Snow

Pepper On A Pole, because this is a thing. Snow stops away to start and hits the trapping headbutts (strong grapple plus up plus B) but it’s too early to get the bag. Boss Man catches a diving Snow and then hits him with the nightstick. Cue the rottweilers from Raw with the British Bulldog for a distraction, allowing Boss Man to grab the bag…which doesn’t count as he throws it to the floor, allowing Snow to grab it for the win. The remains of a dog on a pole match involving the British Bulldog leading a team of rottweilers is the match that SETS UP the big gimmick match between these two. For the Hardcore Title.

HHH and Chyna are in the back, with Steve Austin stalking them.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Test

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty and Debra, is defending. Test kicks him in the face to start but Jarrett comes back as the Mean Street Posse comes out. A powerslam plants Jarrett as Stephanie, Shane and the Stooges come out to brawl as everything is thrown out. The fans of course want puppies.

Post match the brawl stays on and Jarrett damages Test’s shoulder. Shane saves Stephanie from Jarrett’s Figure Four.

Here is HHH, with Chyna to defend the WWF Title and there are a bunch of cops on the stage, presumably to cut off an invading Steve Austin. We cut to the back where Stephanie McMahon and Test (with his bad shoulder) are leaving, which writes Test out of the list of possible challengers. HHH says he gets to pick the guest referee, so he would like Shane McMahon to get out here.

With Shane here, HHH says he won’t be facing Undertaker, Big Show or Kane, which leaves the Rock. Since Rock has an obsession with putting things in a certain place on various people, Rock can kiss HHH’s so it’s not him. That leaves one option, and it’s someone with testicles thee size of grapefruits (Lawler: “ME???”).

HHH calls out Vince McMahon and is willing to put the title on the line to get a piece of him. We cut to the back, where Vince doesn’t want to do it but HHH suggests doing, uh, things, with Linda McMahon, which is enough to get Vince out here. Vince still says no but HHH tells him to go hide behind his skirt. HHH throws in that he can keep it up with Linda all night long and that’s enough to start the match.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Vince is challenging and hammers away in the corner, only for HHH to stomp him down without much effort. The comeback is cut off again and referee Shane McMahon does not approve. HHH fires off some shoulders in the corner and stomps Vince down even more, allowing Chyna to get in a cheap shot of her own as the beating continues.

They go outside with HHH choking with a camera cable. HHH beats him onto the announcers’ table and drops an elbow through it, with Shane’s pleas to stop not getting him anywhere. Back in and Chyna hands HHH a chair, allowing him to shove Shane down and blast Vince in the head. Shane tackles HHH down and hammers away so Chyna comes in for the save, with HHH chairing Shane in the head as well.

Cue Linda McMahon and the Stooges, with the men getting beaten down too. Chyna holds Linda so she has to watch HHH beat on the bloody Vince. The Pedigree is loaded up and heeeeere’s Austin to beat HHH down. HHH and Chyna get a Stunner each…and Austin puts Vince on top so Shane can count the pin to make Vince champion. As Austin’s music plays.

Rating: C. The match was little more than a squash until Austin came in at the end, making this the second time Austin has caused a title change in such a similar way this year (after the famous Mankind win). Vince barely got in any offense but there is nothing wrong with that kind of a story in small doses. After Vince was around the main event scene for so long, having him win the title isn’t the biggest shock, especially on a fluke like this. It was fun, and that’s what it needed to be.

HHH chases Austin through the crowd as Vince is helped up. Brisco jumps up and down to celebrate as the show ends. This was such goofy fun and Vince was always right in the middle of everything that having him win the title, even on a fluke like this, was rather entertaining.

Overall Rating: C. The ending didn’t save the show but it was good enough to carry it across the finish line. Above all else, there are still too many completely insane things going on (Pepper On A Pole) but things like Chris Jericho and Shane McMahon are bringing things up a bit. Austin is at his usual incredibleness and the show is still working, but dang they could be so much better if they got rid of some of the nonsense.

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So this is one of those things that has been talked about for a very long time now as there has been an interest in seeing more on the other side of Vince McMahon. That being said, this has been attempted before, including last year’s Ringmaster book, which was rather disappointing. Unfortunately, that is pretty much exactly what we got again here.

This show is just not that interesting, mainly because there is very little new introduced. There are all kinds of stories, but the vast majority of them are stories that you will have heard before if you follow wrestling. While it’s nice to have them all in one big place, there is no bombshell or major moment that is going to get people talking. Instead, you’re seeing a bunch of the same WWE talking points about major events in their history, albeit with some people there from outside WWE to say “that’s nonsense”.

Arguably the most interesting part is the look at McMahon’s relationship with his family, as he had a rough relationship with his dad, which is eerily similar to how he treats Shane. Stephanie is pretty clearly closer to her dad, but Linda just vanishes from this thing about halfway through. You really do kind of get the feeling that Vince is alone from most of his family, save for the people who help him do business.

Of course the big story is the lawsuit against McMahon, but as it was filed during filming, there is only a bit about it during the end, with Vince not commenting on it. That is the kind of game changer that reshapes an entire series and it does put a different twist on a bunch of what was said about Vince in the first place. Most of the comments are from before the allegations surfaced, so there isn’t much from the new reality about Vince.

Overall, this could be interesting for people who only have a passing knowledge of Vince, but if you’ve been a big fan for a long time, you’re not going to get anything substantial. It’s mainly a look at Vince, with the gist of “well yeah, but we really don’t know him”. The allegations against him don’t really come off as a surprise, but rather “there is a lot to him and most of it isn’t great.”

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 6, 2000
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a requested show and I can always go from some time in a different era. We are between No Mercy and Survivor Series, meaning that Kurt Angle is the new WWF Champion. In a bigger story though, Steve Austin is back and looking for revenge on Rikishi. Other that, Austin and the Rock already aren’t getting along so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rikishi accusing the Rock of being behind Rikishi attacking Steve Austin, which has Austin even more paranoid than usual. This resulted in Austin costing Rock a WWF Title shot and it’s time for some revenge.

Opening sequence.

Here is a returning Vince McMahon for a chat. Vince talks about how tomorrow is Election Day and you have to wonder who everyone is going to vote for. Who will Steve Austin vote for? Or the Rock? Even Al Snow’s vote matters! Vince wants all of the people here to vote because wrestling fans are always on the outside looking in to the political arena. Pundits don’t care about wrestling fans because they don’t vote.

The two major parties already have all of their voting blocks locked up but those people cancel each other out. How interesting is it that those groups will not elect the next President? The average American, a WWF fan, will make the pick. Vince encourages us to vote for the candidate who lies the least and wants us to vote no matter what.

Cue Steve Austin and dang I miss the look on McMahon’s face when that glass shatters. Vince welcomes him back and extends a hand but Austin just takes the mic instead. Austin says it’s fine and dandy to talk politics, but he’s here to fight. Tonight, he is teaming with the Rock, who gave him a Rock Bottom on Smackdown. If Rock wants to double cross him tonight, Austin will be dishing out knuckle sandwiches.

Other than that, Austin has been thinking about Rikishi being the driver of the car that tried to take Austin out, but Rikishi isn’t that smart. There has to be a mastermind who is trying to make people do what they want. Lawler: “Linda McMahon?” As Vince panics, Austin says he knows it wasn’t him…and here are Kurt Angle and Stephanie McMahon to interrupt. Angle: “Hold it right there bucko!” He doesn’t like Austin talking to Vince like that and thinks Austin should question George W. Bush!

Maybe Bush got drunk and tried to run Austin over. As an American hero, Angle is officially renouncing Texas because of all these drunk people. Stephanie gets in the ring to yell at Austin, saying he will NOT touch Vince or Angle. Austin respects Stephanie being a woman, but she might want to step back. Angle tries a cheap shot and gets Stunnered for his efforts. Long segment here, but Austin and Vince are always worth a look.

Post break Vince tells Angle and Stephanie that he has a special feeling about tonight. Vince has Stephanie get in the limo and they leave, with Angle promising something for HHH.

Undertaker vs. Val Venis

This is Right To Censor Venis but the rest of the team is barred from ringside. Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start and hits the one armed side slam. Venis is back with some kicks to the ribs and a neckbreaker but Undertaker easily wins a slugout. Back up and Venis manages a knockdown and hammers away but takes too long going up. That means a toss off of said top, followed by the big right hand. The chokeslam is escaped so Undertaker boots him in the face for two and they head outside. Venis is sent face first into the steps, followed by the Last Ride for the pin back inside.

Rating: C. It’s strange to see Undertaker in what is basically a glorified squash, as there was no reason to believe Venis had a chance here. This was a weird time for Undertaker though, as he was back as the biker, which opened up a bunch of doors for him. It humanized him a bit, and that was not something we had ever seen before.

HHH comes up to see Commissioner Mick Foley. He wants the Radicalz tonight but Foley says find some partners. Steve Austin comes in and wants Kurt Angle, with HHH telling Austin to not trust anyone.

We look at Kane attacking Chris Jericho, who spilled coffee on him.

Kane talks about how people don’t want to see a freak like him because they want someone like Chris Jericho. The more they cheer for Jericho, the more Kane wants to hurt him. Kane is going to win the Hardcore Title tonight and then challenge Jericho to a title match. That way he can do horrible things to Jericho and it’s all legal.

Road Dogg is on HHH’s team tonight but isn’t sure about….him.

Post break HHH and Dogg come in to see Billy Gunn and Chyna, the former of which is not happy to see them. HHH says he might have made a mistake, but for one night only, they can get together and take out the Radicalz. Works for everyone.

T&A vs. Too Cool

Trish Stratus is here with T&A, who jump them to start fast. Albert misses a charge at Grandmaster in the corner, meaning it’s a tornado DDT to slow Albert down. Back up and Albert hits a hard spinning powerslam to plant Scotty and there’s a catapult to send Scotty throat first into the middle rope. Test comes in for a nasty big boot but goes up for the dive that is only designed to land on a raised boot.

After one heck of a bump off such a simple crash from Test, Scotty gets over to Grandmaster to pick up the pace. A middle rope dropkick (with dancing) hits Test but Trish gets on the apron for a distraction. That’s enough for Test to hit Grandmaster in the back with a boot…for two. Scotty hits the Worm (still crazy over) and Grandmaster adds the Hip Hop Drop, only for Albert to come in with his namesake bomb to give Test the pin.

Rating: B-. Who in the world would have thought THIS would have been a pretty good match? That’s one of the things I love about watching these old shows, as you will see a match that seems to be nothing and it winds up being a fun surprise. At the same time, it’s kind of hilarious to look back and see T&A as anything but a vehicle for Trish, who has a star power to her that you just can’t fake. Yes a lot of the attention was because of her looks, but she had a presence to her and it took her the extra way.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Hollys, including the unnamed woman, make the save. A not exactly smooth springboard crossbody drops Trish and the heroes stand…well not very tall but close enough.

Triple H/Chyna/New Age Outlaws vs. Radicalz

Billy and Eddie start things off with the former hitting his always awesome tilt-a-whirl slam. It’s off to Chyna, who is happy to hit a swinging neckbreaker, sending Eddie straight over to Malenko. Dogg comes in for the dancing punches but Malenko knocks him into the ropes. That’s enough for Benoit to come in for some stomps, both before and after Dogg hits a crossbody.

A front facelock is escaped but the referee doesn’t see the tag, further proving how horrible they are at their jobs. Dogg and Saturn crossbody each other and it’s off to Gunn vs. Malenko, which is quite the remarkable size differential. A Jackhammer plants Malenko and the Fameasser gets two with Benoit making the save. Everything breaks down and HHH Pedigrees Malenko for the win.

Rating: C+. What we got went well enough but you would kind of expect DX vs. the Radicalz to feel a bit bigger. That’s a match that could have been a big deal on a pay per view but here it is as little more than a middle of the show match on Raw. DX had long since moved on, though it still feels like a case of what could have been under much better circumstances.

Post match Kurt Angle runs in to jump HHH as the Radicalz cut everyone else off.

The Rock arrives, as usual over halfway through the show.

Tag Team Titles: Right To Censor vs. Hardy Boyz

The Hardys are defending while Ivory and Lita are here too. It’s a fast start with the women getting in a fight of their own on the floor. They go off to the back, leaving Steven Richards with the villains as the Hardys suplex Buchanan down. Back up and Matt gets slammed down hard onto the mat as commentary talks about the election, with Lawler flat out saying he is voting for George W. Bush.

Goodfather boots Matt down but he knocks Goodfather off the top, setting up the big legdrop. Jeff comes in to clean house as everything breaks down and the referee gets sent outside. Goodfather is sent outside in a nasty landing and Matt dives onto him, leaving Jeff to hit the Swanton on Buchanan. There’s no referee though so cue Edge and Christian to go after the Hardys, allowing Richards to get in a belt shot to Jeff. Naturally the referee comes back in to give the Goodfather the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. This is a rare instance of someone other than the Hardys, the Dudleyz or Edge and Christian getting the titles, which needs to happen every so often. There is only so much you can get out of having the same three teams trading the titles for months on end so switch it up every so often. Good enough match too, even with the screwy finish.

Kurt Angle jumps the Rock in his locker room and gets pulled out.

Edge and Christian celebrate screwing over the Hardys with a kazoo version of Chris Benoit’s theme. Commissioner Mick Foley comes in to say he senses something not going so well, so Edge and Christian can have a tables match with the Dudley Boyz!

Hardcore Title: Kane vs. Steve Blackman

Kane is challenging and they start brawling on the ramp. Blackman knocks him back and hits a diving kick off the barricade (that looked cool) before going for the weapons. Some trashcan lid shots have Kane in trouble but he suplexes Blackman down in a crash. One heck of a trashcan lid shot rocks Blackman and the side slam puts him down again.

Kane goes up but gets crotched on top, allowing Blackman to grab his wooden sticks. The rapid fire shots put Kane down and a low blow makes it worse. The trashcan shot takes too long as Kane catches him with a running powerslam and it’s time to bring in the steps. Cue Chris Jericho with a chair though, knocking the steps onto Kane so Blackman can steal the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of thing I can go with, as there was a unique story to it but it also wasn’t a squash. Kane is a monster and had Blackman in trouble but Blackman is enough of a hardcore master to hold his own for a good while. Good little surprise here, with Kane’s motivation being a smart way to go.

The Rock is hunting for Kurt Angle but goes to see Steve Austin instead. Rock says he doesn’t have to hide in the shadows as Rikishi’s boss because he would come after Austin face to face. Austin gave Rock the Stunner because he doesn’t trust anyone and he is looking for Rikishi’s accomplice. Rock says Austin can whip anyone he wants, but it won’t happen to him because Rock had nothing to do with it. Austin doesn’t seem entirely convinced. Sweet goodness the chemistry with these two jumps off the screen like almost no one else ever.

Jerry Lawler vs. Raven

Tazz joins commentary, much to Ross’ annoyance. Lawler slugs away to start (shocking I know) and the middle rope fist drop gets two. Raven is back up with his corner clothesline and bulldog for two but Lawler fights back. A dropkick hits Raven…and Tazz runs in for the fast DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on until Al Snow (including a bonus head with a crown) makes the save.

The Right To Censor is in a huddle (with the camera looking up from the floor) and talks about being this much closer to their ultimate goal.

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

Tables match. Bubba and Edge fight on the floor to start and Christian sends D-Von outside to join them. Edge gets inside and avoids Bubba’s splash in the corner, setting up some Poetry In Motion. The posing table request takes too long and Bubba breaks it up, meaning Edge can get caught with What’s Up.

The Dudleys take too long to get a table as well, allowing the villains to dropkick it into their heads. Back in and a superplex is loaded up but cue the Hardy Boyz to break it up, allowing Lita to snap off a super hurricanrana. The 3D puts Christian through the table for the win. Lawler: “Can’t anyone have a match without someone else interfering?” Geez you would think he would get the idea by now.

Rating: C+. What you have here is a match that didn’t waste time and did exactly what it needed to. Edge and Christian were in trouble after interfering earlier and the Hardys came out to get their revenge. That’s all this needed to be and the match wasn’t even four minutes. Sometimes you do not need much time to make a story work and that is what this era of Raw understood.

Rikishi, with a nose shield, says tonight is going to be a handicap match because the Rock was the one behind everything. Tonight, the truth comes out.

Debra is at WWF New York and criticizes the food.

Kurt Angle brags about his successful rookie season and HHH us saw it. Soon, Steve Austin will get his. Angle: “Children love me d*** it.”

Someone attacks the Rock with an anvil case but since the camera operators are terrible, we don’t see who did it.

Post break Mick Foley says Rock can’t wrestle. The fact that he can barely stand would suggest this is a good idea.

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle/Rikishi

Austin jumps Angle on the floor to start but has to stop to slug away on Rikishi. They all get in and Austin keeps bouncing between them, including the Thesz press to Angle. Some low blows have the villains down but Angle shoves off a Stunner attempt into a superkick from Rikishi. The double teaming is on but Rikishi misses a charge in the corner. Angle is back up with a sledgehammer though, meaning cue HHH to pound him down. Austin is up again to stomp on Rikishi….and HHH hits Austin with the sledgehammer for the not so shocking reveal. We’ll say the match is thrown out around here.

Rating: C. As you can guess, this was an angle disguised as a match and, again, they didn’t waste a bunch of time on it. This didn’t need to go on for a long time and it’s such a relief that it didn’t. Austin got in, looked like himself, and then got beaten down to do the big angle. What else did you need?

Post match HHH unloads on Austin to bust him open. Rikishi adds the Banzai Drop and HHH reveals that he is Rikishi’s accomplice to end the show. This is treated as a big shock and I was surprised when it happened live, but looking back, it’s just not that much of an impact. At the end of the day, Rikishi was not fitting as the new big bad, if nothing else because Austin couldn’t do much with him in the ring. That meant that a big villain was needed and, well, who better than the guy who had been the top heel for the better part of a year? It was absolutely the right move, but it might not have been that shocking.

Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time with this show and a lot of that is due to the act that they didn’t waste time. Everything on here was moving and there was nothing where I was wondering how much more time they were going to spend on it. The matches were mostly short, but they did what they needed to do. It made for a very fun two hours and I could go for a lot more of this. Good show here, with a bunch of logical stuff happening in a creative way.

 

 

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Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

This is a bit of a weird show as it is built around the two World Title matches, but two of the other big matches involve people who have been gone for months. We’ll be seeing Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title while Great Khali defends the Smackdown World Title against Batista. At the same time, Rey Mysterio and HHH are back after some long layoffs, making the build for this a bit weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video narrates a look at Mysterio returning and the regular World Title matches, making it feel like a TV show.

Then we get the REAL opening, with the “We Can Rebuild Him” video on the returning HHH, the actual star of the show.

Kane vs. Finlay

Grudge match after Finlay accidentally knocked a cup of coffee Kane. Worked for Jericho in 2000. Kane, with his injured ribs, knocks Finlay into the corner to start and grabs a slam to keep him in early trouble. Some uppercuts in the corner set up some choking on the ropes before Kane knocks him over the top. That’s not enough for Kane, who boots him in the face, only to get hit in the ribs.

Back in and a backsplash gives Finlay two and it’s off to a half crab. Kane fights up again and it’s an enziguri to put Finlay down for a change. A one armed side slam gives Kane two and there’s the top rope clothesline to rock Finlay again. Finlay is right back with a shot to the ring but it’s Hornswoggle time.

You don’t do that to Kane, who shoves Hornswoggle down but can’t chokeslam Finlay due to the bad ribs. JBL: “He has won a WWE Championship with that chokeslam.” No, he hasn’t. Finlay unhooks the turnbuckle pad, which is enough for him to sneak in the Shillelagh (with an assist from Hornswoggle) shot to the ribs for two. That’s too much for Kane, who sends him into the post and grabs the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about taking two hard hitting guys and letting them beat on each other for a little while. That’s how you start a show and it worked well enough, as they both know how to do this match really well. Not a classic opener or anything close, but it was fun to watch two guys like this do their thing.

Vince McMahon and Coach joins the General Managers in a party themed move. McMahon thinks the mother of his illegitimate son wants a payday but here is Santino Marella to suggest he is said son. That’s rejected, so here is MVP to say he wants to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for something other than a match. Vince is down for that, but William Regal thinks Vince’s son would be more, uh, regal. Everyone else leaves and Vince seems disturbed by the thought of being with an Englishwoman.

Video on Rey Mysterio. Did you know he’s back tonight?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They stare at each other to start and Umaga punches both of them in the face before sending them into various corners. Carlito and Kennedy need a breather on the floor and decide to go for a distraction, which goes horribly wrong as well. Kennedy saves Carlito from the running hip attack in the corner though and it’s a running boot to drive Umaga’s head into the steps. That leaves Kennedy to stomp on Carlito inside but he’s right back with a springboard elbow.

They seem to be going as fast as they can because Umaga is up, meaning it’s an uppercut from the floor to drop Carlito. Kennedy saves him from a Stinger Splash in the corner though and a shot to Umaga’s head gets two. Umaga isn’t about to get double suplexed so he suplexes both of them at the same time instead. The monster awakens and wrecks both of them, including the running hip attack in the corner to Carlito. Kennedy knocks Umaga outside…but Umaga is right back in with the Samoan Spike to finish Kennedy to retain.

Rating: C. It was little more than a Raw match and that didn’t exactly leave us with a great showcase. The good thing is that Umaga looked like a monster out there as Kennedy and Carlito combined completely failed to stop him. That’s the kind of win that will build Umaga back up even more and that is going to make the person who finally stops him look even bigger, as it should.

Undertaker is back at Unforgiven.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo put Rey on the shelf for knee surgery and is now laughing at the idea that Rey is coming back. Revenge seems imminent.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint because he can be a bit odd with some of his costume ideas. They talk trash to each other to start until Rey hits him in the face. Chavo goes after the knee but Rey slips away without much effort. The test of strength is on, allowing them to flip around a lot with neither getting very far.

Another try for the knee works better for Chavo as the leg is wrapped around the middle rope. Rey isn’t having that and kicks Chavo outside before taking him back in for some knee work of his own. There’s a middle rope hurricanrana to send Chavo flying again but he catches Rey in the Tree of Woe to go after the knee again. Said knee is wrapped around the post as we get to the meat of things. The stretch muffler has Rey in more trouble and there’s a dropkick to the knee.

The knee is fine enough to hit an enziguri but it gives out on the 619 attempt. Rey has to get to the ropes to get out of a half crab and now it’s Chavo’s turn to be in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t last long either so Rey sends him outside for a running seated senton off the apron. Rey misses a high crossbody back inside though and it’s a Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Another 619 attempt misses and Chavo hits a few Amigos. Rey isn’t having that though and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. As expected, this was a good match between two talented wrestlers, though I’m still not sure how much interest there was going to be in Chavo as a focal point. He’s a very good worker, but he is more a solid hand than a featured player. That being said, this was all about Rey being back and getting to shake the rust off, which worked well in his first match in a long time.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell say Rey Mysterio’s return may have been great, but HHH’s return will be an entrance, followed by him bowing down to King Booker.

Battle Royal

Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Brooke

The winner gets a future Women’s Title shot against Candice Michelle, who is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with a bunch of brawling around the ring. Jillian gets rid of Maria and Layla is gone soon after. Brooke seems to have been tossed somewhere in there too and Kristal gets rid of Victoria (that’s an upset).

Michelle knocks Kristal out and there goes Kelly (through the ropes, because over the top is a bit too much). Torrie helps get rid of Jillian and Melina knocks out Mickie. We’re down to Michelle, Melina, Beth and Torrie, with Melina being knocked out by Michelle. Beth gets rid of Torrie without much effort and we’re down to two. Michelle tries a kick and is tossed out to give Beth the win.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? There are only a few women who are ready to challenge for the title and Beth is about as good of a choice as you could have here. Beth is a different kind of monster and we should be in for a showdown with Candice. At least they kept this moving, as that is the best idea they could have had here.

Almost immediately as soon as the match is over, here is MVP, with a few guys carrying a cooler, to say no one paid to see these women. You need him on the show, so MVP talks about how he used to drink beer. His tastes have changed now that he is rich, but tonight it’s time for a beer drinking contest with Matt Hardy.

Hold on though, as Matt brings up MVP using a surrogate for their boxing match. Well Matt (who somehow knew this would be a drinking contest) has his own surrogate: Steve Austin. Cue Austin, who warms up for the contest with some rope running and pushups but it’s a Stunner before the first beer is consumed. A lot of drinking ensues. Nothing wrong with a surprise appearance like this, even if Austin didn’t say a word.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

Vince McMahon is still in the office with the bosses when Cryme Tyme interrupts. They think “Vinnie Mac” (Vince: “Vinnie Mac?”) might be their dad and it’s time to chant MONEY MONEY YEAH YEAH. Everyone dances around Vince, including William Regal in a hat. Cue Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Video on John Morrison.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending and gets taken down without much trouble to start. Punk wins a grapple off to start and hits a hiptoss before hitting a triangle dropkick to the floor. Back up and Morrison hits a neckbreaker onto the apron, allowing him to hammer away with some right hands.

We hit the chinlock with an arm trap, which Tazz doesn’t seem to notice as a version of the Tazmission. A regular chinlock doesn’t work either and Punk is back up with a middle rope crossbody for two of his own. The scoop powerslam gets two more but it’s a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to give Morrison two more. Back up and Punk crotches Morrison on the top and they’re both down for a bit. Punk’s top rope hurricanrana is countered though and Morrison puts his feet on the ropes for the stolen pin to retain.

Rating: C. These two have had more than a few matches now and it wasn’t exactly anything better than their previous stuff. Punk has lost to Morrison time after time now and there isn’t much left for these two to do with each other. The other problem is that there isn’t anything else for Punk on ECW, but he has to win something soon. Not a bad match, but it could have been on ECW TV.

King Booker vs. HHH

This is HHH’s first match since January after another torn quadricep. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, thinks there is only one king around here. Naturally HHH gets a big special entrance video, including the WE CAN REBUILD HIM deal. Commentary tries to put it over like the 2002 MSG return and it’s just not there.

Booker slugs away to start but gets punched outside without much trouble. Back in and HHH gets cut off with an elbow to the head, only to get knocked right back to the floor. HHH gets to punch him in the face a bit more, setting up the facebuster for two back inside. Booker gets smart by going after the leg, only to have HHH take out Booker’s leg instead.

The Figure Four goes on so Sharmell rakes the eyes for a save. The slugout goes to HHH, and he tosses Booker outside for a whip into the steps. They head back inside for the spinebuster but Booker breaks up the Pedigree attempt. Some knees to the head set up a side slam but Booker misses the Houston Hangover. The Pedigree finishes Booker without much effort.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t a disaster but it was far from as good as you would have expected from these two. HHH shrugged off everything Booker threw at him and then won clean in the end, which isn’t exactly surprising. I would have expected a bit more than about eight minutes, but odds are they didn’t want to leave HHH out there to get winded early. This could have been worse, though it was pretty lame, all things considered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Khali is the new unstoppable monster and Batista is one of the only people who can come after him. That’s a bit of a problem though, as Khali’s Claw/vice grip are rather deadly.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is challenging and gets pounded down in the corner to start. Khali sends him outside in a heap and hits the big chop on the way back in. That’s only good for two so Khali sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the nerve hold. The rope is grabbed, meaning it’s a forearm to the back and another nerve hold goes on.

Cole describes the reaction as the fans getting restless, which is certainly one way to go. Batista fights up and blocks the vice grip, setting up the spinebuster. For some reason Batista goes up but dives into the double chokeslam for two. Runjin Singh throws in a chair and Khali hits Batista for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Restless would be one way to go, but the better term would likely be “bored out of their minds”. This was a bunch of sitting around doing nothing until Khali did something pretty stupid and now we are likely in for a rematch, because that is what we needed here. I get the idea of the chase, but the idea of Khali being involved in anything fast paced is disturbing.

Post match Batista gets the chair and blasts Khali for a change. JBL is livid at Khali for doing something so stupid, which is a fair assessment.

It’s back to the office, where Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come in to see Vince. They don’t think they’re the mother of the son, but Mae wants some relations with Vince RIGHT NOW to make a new son. Mae jumps him and leaves a taste in Vince’s mouth…which he kind of likes. Coach: “That’s disgusting sir!” Vince: “Old chicken makes good soup.”

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Cena has been champion for almost a year but Orton has been on a path of destruction. Now it’s time for Cena to stop him, because no one else can do it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and gets headlocked to start, with the fans really not being behind Cena. The headlock (and really blatant spot calling) continue until Orton reverses into one of his own. Cena can’t counter into the STFU and Orton stomps him down. Back up and Orton keeps it simple with a hard shot to the head which might cause Cena to miss a crossbody.

That means Orton can knock Cena off the apron and onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. The rather aggressive chinlock goes on but Cena suplexes his way to freedom. A missed charge lets Orton get in some more stomps but he misses the big knee. The powerslam doesn’t miss though and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena tries to power up again so Orton grabs a sleeper with a bodyscissors.

More power gets Cena out of trouble, this time by driving Orton into the corner. Now the comeback is on, including the Shuffle, but the FU is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT as JR is wondering when the concussion is coming. The RKO is countered but Cena misses another charge and falls over the top. Back in and Cena tries the Throwback but winds up with a Blockbuster, which is quite the odd visual coming from him.

The top rope Fameasser connects and Orton is in trouble again. This time the FU is countered with a neck snap across the top. That’s enough to load up the Punt but Orton takes too long and gets pulled into the STFU. The rope gets Orton out of trouble and he grabs a quick RKO for two (that’s still a rare kickout). Cena is done playing around though and hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This was a big time fight and Cena felt like he went through a long battle. They were trading big moves but the ending was a bit of a letdown, as Cena kicked out of the RKO and then finished him clean. That doesn’t leave much of a future for the feud, but never let it be said that WWE won’t let something continue despite it looking like it was wrapping up. What we got was good though, as these two were starting to feel it when they went home.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps a lot and there was enough good to make it work, but Batista vs. Khali was horrible and HHH’s return was a disappointment. It was a bunch of short matches too, with only Orton vs. Cena and Mysterio vs. Guerrero breaking ten minutes. At least we got some good stuff in there though, including a solid main event. Good, but certainly not great show.

 

 

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Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally here and just like all the other times I’ve seen this show, it still doesn’t feel all that big. Nothing on the card really stands out above the rest as some major match, but instead we are getting a bunch of important matches at once. That isn’t a bad thing, but it did make for kind of an odd setup. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the history of the show….and then the DX logo pops up as we talk about DX vs. the McMahons, followed by everything else.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

They’re fighting over Eddie Guerrero’s memory, so we look at both videos from Smackdown, focusing on both of their relationships with them. So yes, it does come off as a pay per view match based on people arguing over who was Eddie’s real best friend. This is also Chavo’s return from retirement, despite the fact that he was on almost every TV show since retiring. Rey hammers away to start fast as JBL goes on a rant about the Guerrero family as only he can.

Chavo tries a shoulder breaker but gets sent outside, where he manages to avoid Rey’s dive. Chavo’s dive connects and it’s time to choke away back in to the corner. Rey comes back out of another corner and kicks away at the leg, only to be sent head first into the buckle. The fans chant for Eddie as Rey is knocked outside but comes back up top, right next to Chavo. They both hit a big facebuster back to the mat and it’s a bit of a breather. Rey is back up with a kick to the head and there’s the 619.

Chavo counters the seated senton though, meaning Rey has to hurricanrana him over the top for a double crash to the floor. Cue Vickie Guerrero to yell at Chavo and slap him in the face. Rey takes him down with a dive and they head back inside to exchange Three Amigos each. It’s Rey going up top but Vickie crotches him down, allowing Chavo to hit a brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Rey off.

Rating: C+. The match was good, as you would expect from these two, but egads the battle of these two over Eddie’s memory was hard to watch. I know it’s the logical way to go, but at the same time it feels like it’s being designed to set up some big Eddie return, which doesn’t seem that likely. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of these two together and hopefully that does not include hearing Eddie’s name every fourth word.

Queen Sharmell and King Booker are ready to face Batista but here are Edge and Lita to interrupt. They argue over who is the most powerful couple, with Booker calling him a squire. The champs make a bet: if Edge loses his title, he has to kiss Booker’s feet but if Booker loses his title, Booker he has to be Edge’s servant. I’m still not sure if these champion vs. champion scenes matter quite as much as WWE thinks they do.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending under ECW Rules. Sabu chairs him down to start and hits a quick Arabian facebuster for two. Show isn’t having that and knocks both Sabu and the chair down. The bearhug goes on for a few seconds, followed by a fall away slam to send Sabu flying. Sabu finds another chair though and knocks Show silly, followed by a top rope chair shot to do it again. It’s table time, but first Sabu hits a top rope bulldog. Sabu drives him through the table in the corner but Show is right back up to run him over.

A Vader Bomb connects, with Sabu rolling outside as Show grabs the steps. Two sets of steps are thrown in and a table is bridged between them. Sabu uses the breather to climb onto the table, which falls down, then reset it and DDT show through it for….well nothing as he doesn’t bother to cover. Instead, Sabu sets up another table and is quickly chokeslammed through it to retain Show’s title.

Rating: C. They did what they had to do well enough here, as they didn’t stay out there too long and had Sabu use all of his weapons to cover up all of the issues. I’m not sure how much of a doubt there was about who was leaving as champion, but now I’m curious to see who is next for Sabu. This could have been much worse so I’ll call that a win.

We look at Layla winning the Diva Search.

Layla comes into the locker room where some of the women brag about her cover on a magazine. Trish Stratus goes on a rant about what everyone else had to do to get here. But it’s ok because Layla is one of them now. Then they take her into the shower and soak her for her initiation. I know the idea of a bunch of Divas in the shower is a simple concept, but it loses its steam when they are in their usual clothes.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton. Legend meets Legend Killer, who was also hitting on the Legend’s daughter.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

They lock up to start with Hogan shoving him down to hit the posing. Orton has some more luck with a headlock, but he gets shoved away again without much effort. Hogan powers out of another headlock and shoves Orton down again but this time Orton gets in a cheap shot and stomps away. You don’t try to ram him into the buckle though as Hogan blocks the shot and hammers away in the corner, as only he can. A thumb to the eye and more right hands set up a clothesline to keep Orton in trouble.

There are the back rakes as JR talks about Hogan’s heeling days in the AWA. Orton bails to the floor where he grabs Hogan’s knee and rams it into the apron. Back in and the circle stomp keeps Hogan in trouble but he ducks the high crossbody. The big boot misses though and Orton nails the dropkick. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot is on the rope just in time. There’s the Hulk Up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Orton.

Rating: D+. I’m always going to be a Hulkamaniac but what in the world was this? Hogan comes in, shrugs off almost everything Orton has, and wins in about eleven minutes? It’s a feel good moment and such but this serves Hogan and Hogan only, which makes me think he probably had a lot to do with the decision. Orton could have used this win and while it won’t destroy him, the loss doesn’t exactly feel like the smartest move. The match wasn’t even that good, as Hogan dominated for the first half, got beaten down for a bit and then went to the finish with some pretty limited drama.

Posing ensues post match.

Melina gives Mick Foley a pep talk but Mick is worried about the kind of mood Flair is in. She also doesn’t want Foley to lose and damage her reputation as the manager of champions. Foley is fired up too though and seems ready to go.

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match so Foley brings in a trashcan full of weapons. Foley starts fast and hits the running knee in the corner. The Mandible Claw goes on about a minute in but Foley lets go to ask Flair if he quits. Since Flair can’t speak at the moment, Foley puts barbed wire around Mr. Socko, allowing Flair to grab him low. Flair puts on the barbed wire Socko and chops him out to the floor.

There’s the big whip into the steps but Foley grabs a barbed wire board to hack Flair up as well. The fans sound like they want fire as Foley chokes with a boot. There’s another barbed wire board shot to the face and then one to Flair’s back but he still won’t quit. Flair is COVERED in blood and Foley pouring out the thumbtacks isn’t going to make it better. Foley slams him onto the tacks but Flair still won’t quit, so let’s bring in a barbed wire baseball bat.

Thankfully Flair gets in a low blow and sends Foley shoulder first into the post. Flair hits Foley’s arm with the bat but Foley won’t quit, even with threats of Flair killing him. A big shot knocks Foley off the apron and into the Nestea Plunge, onto a trashcan for a cushion. The trainer comes out to say Foley can’t continue but Flair isn’t having that. Instead he throws Foley back inside, sending him right through the thumbtacks.

Flair goes for the eyes with the barbed wire bat as Melina is out here begging for mercy. The bat is driven into Foley’s face so Melina throws in the towel to quit for him. Flair kicks Foley low and demands that Foley be the one to quit. With nothing else working, Flair grabs the bat and goes for Melina, which is enough for Foley to quit.

Rating: B-. This one is likely going to have a lot of different opinions, but the biggest problem is that I didn’t exactly enjoy the match. Above all else, it was too violent (and yes I know that was the point) for and there was so much blood between two people who probably shouldn’t be doing this to themselves anymore. Then there is the Melina thing which is a real life friendship, but it came out of almost nowhere on WWE TV. I get why Foley quit to save her, though it isn’t like some big epic moment or friendship between the two. They did what they were supposed to do, but it wasn’t something I could really enjoy.

Foley is COVERED in blood and can barely stand.

The McMahons are warming up with Armando Alejandro Estrada in their office. Estrada promises that Umaga will be there to hold them against DX.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T. vs. Batista

Booker is defending. They take turns shoving each other into the corner to start until Booker slaps him in the face. That earns him a big push down so Booker chops away. It doesn’t exactly work though as Booker grabs a Stunner over the to rope and nails a hot shot to keep Batista down.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, with Batista fighting up for a belly to belly. They head outside, where Sharmell slips Booker the scepter to hit Batista in the face. Booker takes him back inside to crank on the arm and then switches back to the chinlock. The fans talk about a certain disease they claim Sharmell has as Batista fights up to crotch Booker on the top.

It’s back to the floor with Batista being distracted by Sharmell and sent into the steps. The Book End gives Booker two but the ax kick misses, setting up a Jackhammer for two on the champ. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but Sharmell comes in for the DQ. You can’t even say it was a long match for that lame of an ending.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if you can call this a clash of styles but they didn’t have much of a flow to the match and the ending was even worse. This will set up a rematch on the next pay per view but I’m not sure I want to see it again. The match wasn’t the worst but it isn’t the kind of match I want to see again. If nothing else, you would think the World Title match would get more than eleven minutes but it doesn’t even hit that, leaving this feeling like a match that they had because it was required instead of something they wanted to feature.

Post match Batista wrecks Booker again to set up the rematch.

DX is talking to someone in the men’s locker room. They seem to have backup.

We recap D-Generation X vs. the McMahon, DX has tormented Vince and Shane for months now so now the McMahons (and their band of mercenaries, meaning Umaga and the Spirit Squad) are dealing with this here.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

DX does their usual intro and we’re ready to go. Actually hold on as the McMahons stay on the stage and send out the Spirit Squad. DX dispatches them in a hurry so here are Mr. Kennedy, Finlay and William Regal, who are beaten up after just a bit more time. Now it’s Big Show to take Shawn out while the other three beat up HHH on the floor. HHH gets put through the announcers’ table and NOW the McMahons are willing to head to the ring.

Vince slams Shawn down as we officially start, setting up Shane with the jabs. The bosses take turns beating Shawn down, though Shane is smart enough to hit the floor and stomp HHH down. A double suplex sets up a Paisan elbow and Shane takes HHH down again. There’s a Demolition Decapitator (JR: “They think they’re Demolition.”) into a Hart Attack into a Doomsday Device for two on Shawn, with Shane being stunned.

Shawn fights up and hits a double clothesline, allowing the hot tag to HHH. House is cleaned in a hurry and Shawn beats Shane up on the floor. Cue Umaga though and Shawn gets taken out, leaving the McMahons to beat on HHH. With Umaga ready to wreck DX even more, cue Kane to fight him to the back. HHH is down in the corner as Shane loads up Coast To Coast but Shawn is back up to superkick it out of the air. Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree finishes Vince.

Rating: ;C-. It was another nicely done story with the execution lacking. As has been the case for the entire feud so far, DX never felt like they were in trouble. Having the army there helped a good bit and DX was at least down here, but we are reaching kind of a goofy point where you can only throw so many people before it stops mattering. An army of midcarders is a big update over the Spirit Squad though so it’s a step forward, but the match, again, wasn’t much to see.

A lot of celebrating ensues, with a trainer checking on Shawn.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge for Edge’s Raw World Title. Edge cashed in Money in the Bank to win the title at New Year’s Revolution but then Cena took it back at the Royal Rumble a few weeks later Then Rob Van Dam took the title and Edge got it back, with Cena giving chase. Edge slapped Cena’s father on Raw, so you know it’s personal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is defending and loses the title if he is disqualified. Cena wastes no time in shoving Edge hard into the corner to begin the destruction. The referee has to cut things off and Cena misses a charge into the post. That means Edge can hammer away and send Cena outside for a nine count. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two but Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets the same. Cena gets tossed over the top and out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena misses a crossbody and we hit the chinlock. Cena eventually powers out so Edge boots him in the face for two. Edge heads up top and gets crotched, though he is fine enough to shove Cena down and score with a top rope clothesline for two. The camel clutch goes on until Cena fights up with a slam for the double knockdown. It’s Cena back up with the Throwback and it’s time to pick up the pace.

Lita throws in a chair because she forgot the rules but Cena gets rid of it just as fast. Cena fires off his clotheslines but Edge cuts him off for two. Cena’s victory roll gets two so Lita gets on the apron, only to get knocked down again. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown until Edge is up with the Edge-O-Matic for two.

The spear is loaded up but Cena counters into the STFU. Edge grabs the rope, allowing Lita to slip him some brass knuckles. Cena doesn’t mind and loads up the FU, which draws Lita in. Again, that’s fine with Cena who puts them on his shoulders at the same time. Lita gets flipped down but Edge slips out and uses the knuckles to the back of the head to pin Cena and retain.

Rating: B. It’s the best match of the show, but that isn’t exactly clearing a high bar. They were starting to feel things at the end before the screwy finish but at least Edge got a pin instead of having Lita come in for the DQ. Cena was starting to have the Superman vibe here as he was fired up and unstoppable, which makes the ending seem a little more impressive. They did well here, though the mic work is still the high point of the feud.

Edge and Lita celebrate as Cena wakes up to stare down down and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of one match standing above the rest or the lack of anything really changing but I still don’t care for this show all that much. It also doesn’t help that nothing really jumps off the page as far as quality, leaving this to be a not exactly memorable show. This felt like they were gearing up for their next brand exclusive shows. That is a way to go, but then why should I want to watch this? The show does feel big, but nothing happens here and that leaves you with no real reason to watch it, which isn’t exactly what you expect from a show usually this important.

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Wrestlemania XXXVIII Night Two
Date: April 3, 2022
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 78,453
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith
America The Beautiful: Jesse James Decker

It’s the second half of the show and WWE has a lot to live up to after the first night. This half is built around the unification match for the WWE and Universal Titles as Brock Lesnar faces Roman Reigns in the BIGGEST WRESTLEMANIA MATCH EVER (THIS YEAR!). Other than that, Pat McAfee is facing Austin Theory in a match that has gotten a lot of TV time. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the third deck with the stage on my right.

Jesse James Decker performs America The Beautiful.

Video on Night One.

Mark Walhberg talks about how the sequel is almost never quite as good as the original, but it might be tonight. This is going to be all about the emotions and it’s not edge of your seat, but out of your seat. Points for doing a separate video instead of the same one again.

Here is HHH to get things going. He gets his full entrance and poses on every corner…before being handed a pair of boots. With the boots in the ring, he thanks the fans and welcomes us to Wrestlemania as pyro goes off. HHH goes over to hug his family (including Stephanie McMahon, his children and others) and leaves to the side of the ramp. This would be his retirement due to his heart issues and you can probably imagine he was going to have at least one more big match.

Gable Steveson is here again.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

RKBro is defending and these teams have been fighting over the titles for weeks, with only the Profits not winning them at some point. Otis cleans house to start before all six get in for the big brawl. With the ring clearing out, Ford hits the big running flip dive to the floor, followed by Gable moonsaulting onto almost everyone. Back in and Otis splashes Riddle but slaps him around instead of covering.

Gable comes in to work on Riddle’s leg but Riddle fights up. Ford is back in and gets over to Dawkins for the tag so house can be cleaned. Otis splashes Dawkins and Riddle but misses a charge into the corner. Riddle Bro To Sleeps Dawkins and Orton comes in to clean house. The Academy is dropped onto the announcers’ table but Otis is back up to take out everyone else. Gable is back up with a Steiner Bulldog for two on Ford but Dawkins breaks up a Vader Bomb.

The Profits hit a Doomsday Blockbuster on Gable before knocking Riddle outside. Dawkins blocks the RKO and hits a spinebuster on Orton before flip diving onto Otis. Ford loads up a frog splash….but Riddle springboards to the top to RKO him back down in an awesome spot. Not to be outdone, Gable goes up but Orton pulls him out of the air into the RKO to retain at 11:32.

Rating: B-. This was the usual wild triple threat match that would have felt fine on a big time house show. Watching Riddle and Orton hit one RKO after another is always fun as they really did have it down to a science. While it was entertaining, I couldn’t have told you this opened the show to save my life as it had absolutely no staying power.

Post match the Profits and RKO are ready to share a drink. Hold on though as they want Gable Steveson to join them. Steveson gets in, but Gable knocks the cup out of his hand. Orton and Riddle look stunned (Orton’s face is hilarious) as Steveson takes his shirt off. Gable demands respect as the ring clears out. Gable even has some advice for Steveson: SHHHHHHHHHHUSH! That earns him an overhead belly to belly and now the toasting can ensue.

Bobby Lashley vs. Omos

No MVP here despite him being Lashley’s manager. Omos powers him down to start and then drives Lashley face first into a knee. Lashley tries to power out of a head vice but gets clotheslined down instead. Omos hits a charge in the corner (or close to it, as he somehow missed a running splash) but Lashley starts hammering away. The Hurt Lock is blocked though and Omos clotheslines him down.

Lashley manages to catch him on the ropes and goes up, only to be pulled out of the air for a fireman’s carry slam. Back up and Lashley charges into a bearhug, which is driven hard into the corner. The bearhug goes on again but Lashley fights out again and slugs away. Somehow Lashley manages a suplex (egads) and a spear to the back sets up the regular version to finish Omos at 6:36.

Rating: C-. This was the spectacle match of the show and it was only so good. There are only so many things that Omos can do in the ring and Lashley made it work as well as it could. Not a good match but they did keep it short and it didn’t get too insane. The suplex worked as a big spot too so it could have been worse, as weak as it was.

We recap Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn. Knoxville was in the Royal Rumble to do publicity for his new Jackass movie and Zayn freaked out, sending him into an obsessive feud to destroy Knoxville once and for all. Then Knoxville fought back by having Zayn’s phone number flown on a banner above Los Angeles, resulting in Zayn receiving 60,000+ texts. The solution: an anything goes match.

Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville

Anything goes and Zayn kicks him in the face at the bell to start fast. They head outside with Zayn sending him into the barricade right in front of the Jackass crew. The crew goes after him, allowing Knoxville to come up with a fire extinguisher blast for a breather. Back in and Zayn busts out the cookie sheet to take over before switching over to a crutch. With that broken over Knoxville’s back, it’s time to bring in a table (of course).

Zayn goes for another table….and gets his hand caught in a mouse trap. It seems that there is a table covered in them (because reasons of Knoxville) and the delay lets Knoxville bang some trashcan lids around Zayn’s head. Knoxville sets up the table in the corner but gets suplexed through it instead. The helluva Kick is loaded up but Knoxville whips out an airhorn to cut it off.

Cue part of the Jackass crew, with a guy described as a party boy dancing and stripping (Cole: “It’s Naked Mideon 2.0!”). Zayn takes him out and Knoxville uses the distraction to grab a rollup for two. With the party boy kicked underneath the ring, Wee Man (he’s short) pops out and beats Zayn up, including a slam back inside (the place goes NUTS for that). Knoxville’s tornado DDT gets two as commentary is losing it over this whole thing.

Wee Man pulls out a machine with a boot attached and designed to kick someone low. Instead Zayn kicks him in the face and sends him outside before going up top. That’s fine with Knoxville, who whips out a remote control to spray pyro from the corner Zayn is standing on. With Zayn down in the corner, there’s a bowling ball between the legs and then the boot machine kicks him low again.

Knoxville whips out a tazer (sure) so Zayn runs….right into a giant hand that slaps him in the face. Back in and Zayn grabs a suplex before going up again. This time, Knoxville tongs him low and sends Zayn flying through the mousetrap table. Now the Jackass crew pulls out a giant mousetrap (just go with it) and Knoxville tazes Zayn onto it, with the trap springing for the pin (ignore Zayn’s shoulders being on the trap and not the mat) at 14:33.

Rating: B-. This is the definition of “it wasn’t for me”, but the stadium was going NUTS for the whole thing and they embraced everything insane about the whole thing. It was a total stunt show instead of a match (which is what it needed to be) and Zayn got wrecked by one stunt after another. I never need to see it again, but for a one off, it was goofy fun. Less than three weeks later, Zayn would need something to make him feel better after all this, so he started talking to the Bloodline. Not bad for a next step.

Here’s part of Drew McIntyre beating Happy Corbin last night and then cutting the ring ropes.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler

One fall and Carmella/Vega are defending. Banks and Naomi ride out in a rather expensive looking car while Liv and Rhea have something of a Catwoman/Donnie Darko theme. Ripley starts and no one wants to fight her until Banks comes in for the staredown. Banks gets powered down but comes back up with an armbar that doesn’t last long. Riptide is blocked and Banks realizes she needs to think twice here.

Naomi comes in but everything breaks down with most of the, going outside. Banks and Morgan both hit dives before going back inside for a staredown. Back to back Codebreakers rock Morgan and Oblivion makes it worse, only to have Natalya take Morgan down. Baszler comes in and stomps on Morgan’s leg as things slow back down. The leg cranking ensues before Carmella comes in to send Morgan into the corner.

Everything breaks down again with Carmella hurricanranaing Ripley off the top. Naomi and Banks hit double Eat Defeat on Morgan and go up, only to have it broken up. That means stereo Towers of Doom, with Morgan and Ripley handling the powerbombs. Everyone is down for a bit until Riptide into a backstabber gives Ripley two on Naomi.

Morgan breaks up Baszler’s cover on Naomi and gets faceplanted for her efforts. A Hart Attack is broken up and Carmella takes Naomi down for some near falls. Banks is back in with a frog splash to Carmella but Vega breaks up the Crossface. The Meteora from the apron hits Vega and Naomi kicks Carmella in the head. A wheelbarrow slam/Codebreaker combination hits Carmella to give Banks the pin and the titles at 10:50.

Rating: C. It wasn’t exactly great and as usual, there were so many people here that it might as well have been a free for all. The wrestling was only so good and the titles feeling so completely unimportant doesn’t help. These feel like thrown together teams fighting over the titles and that doesn’t quite make it feel Wrestlemania worthy. If these titles are supposed to mean something, stop having makeshift teams fighting over them. At least you now have a steady pair of hands in Naomi and Banks to hold them, as they should be fine for a long time to come.

We look back at Miz and Logan Paul beating the Mysterios and then breaking up because Paul wanted to leave as a good guy.

We recap Edge vs. AJ Styles. Edge wanted a special opponent so Styles accepted, only for Edge to go full villain and Conchairto him. Now Styles is back and wanting revenge.

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Styles is bleeding from the side of his face, apparently having hit himself on the set on the way in. Since it’s Wrestlemania, Edge rises up onto a throne surrounded by fire. They stare at each other to start until Styles starts knocking him away. The dropkick looks to set up the Calf Crusher but Edge is straight over to the ropes. Back up and Edge is sent outside, with Styles ramming him head first into the steps to make things more violent.

The springboard 450 hits raised knees back inside, with Edge holding his knee in something that rarely happens off of that counter. Edge’s knee is fine enough for the posing before he kicks away at Styles. The abdominal stretch goes on but Styles goes after the knee to break it up. A shoulder breaker cuts Styles down again though and they’re down long enough that we can look at some of the giant graphics for the match around the stadium.

Back up and Styles misses a hard charge into the corner and they’re both down again. Edge hits a Codebreaker onto the bad arm and it’s time to crank on both arms at once. Styles can’t Pele his way out of trouble as Edge pulls him into an STF, which he switches into a Crossface (sounds like a Samoa Joe fan). That’s broken up with a quick rope break and we slow down again.

Edge misses a spear and Styles grabs a slingshot DDT for the double knockdown (again). Styles goes up top but gets caught by Edge. That doesn’t work either, as Styles slips out and kicks the bad knee, setting up a torture rack spun into a powerbomb for two more. Edge is back up but charges into a German suplex to put them both down again. They slug it out until Styles manages a Pele Kick but the Calf Crusher is blocked again.

The Crossface has Styles in big trouble until he rolls his way to freedom. The Edge-O-Matic gives Edge two and a slingshot powerbomb gets the same. They both take their time getting up and head to the corner, where Styles superplexes him down onto the apron (ouch). Back in and the springboard 450 hits Edge’s back for two. The Phenomenal Forearm and spear both miss so Styles hits the Styles Clash for a rather near fall. Styles loads up the Phenomenal Forearm….but Damien Priest (US Champion at the time) is here to offer him a distraction. The delay lets Edge spear Styles out of the air for the pin at 24:26.

Rating: B. This was a good, hard hitting match that felt like it belonged on the big stage, but the double downs got a bit repetitive as they probably burned off five minutes of just laying on the mat. The distraction finish was a bit annoying as well as it just cut everything else off, but it certainly seemed to set up something for the future. Either way, best match of the night so far.

Tonight’s attendance: 78,354.

Byron Saxton replaces Pat McAfee, who has to get ready for his match with Austin Theory.

Brawling Brutes vs. New Day

Butch is here with the Brutes. New Day has Big E. inspired gear, even down to the singlets, for a nice touch. Butch loses his mind on the floor before the bell and the brawl is on inside. The bell rings and Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Holland. Sheamus pulls Kofi outside though, leaving Woods to make a save. Back in and Kofi seems to leave a top rope shot to the face a bit short as Woods takes the straps down.

A running Downward Spiral hits Holland but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Kofi on the floor. Back in and Woods superkicks Holland (he’s taking a beating here)…but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Woods silly. Northern Grit finishes Woods at 1:42. So Big E.’s career might have been ended and his team loses in less than two minutes at Wrestlemania. This place isn’t nice to New Day (as they lost to the League Of Nations here in 2016 as well).

We look back at Cody Rhodes returning and facing Seth Rollins. These recaps might as well have a big sign saying FILLER. Or PEACOCK COMMERCIALS.

The Hall of Fame class is honored again, with only Undertaker coming out in person. Undertaker comes out, waves, and that’s it. I’m not sure why this needed to happen two nights in a row and the way it happened again made me think it was going to be an angle but…yeah nothing, even after it goes on for a good while.

We recap Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory. McAfee talks about everything he has accomplished from the NFL to his talk show, but he has always been a fan who wanted to wrestle. He even trained to wrestle with Rip Rogers before he came to WWE so he has a background. Vince McMahon was a guest on the Pat McAfee Show and offered McAfee a chance for a match. This wound up being against Theory, who has tormented him ever since, with McAfee chasing after him and annoying McMahon in the process.

Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee

Vince McMahon personally introduces Theory (as a future Universal Champion). McAfee on the other hand has the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders with him in an appropriate entrance. Some right hands have Theory in trouble early but he goes to McAfee’s throat to cut him down. A jumping back elbow has Theory down again as the fans are rather into McAfee. There’s a hurricanrana for two but Theory plants him and smiles down at Vince.

McAfee manages a quick suplex for a breather and Theory heads out to the apron. They head outside and McAfee grabs a headset to say hi to his parents before pouring ice over Theory. Back in and a heck of a Swanton misses for McAfee so Theory grabs a belly to back slam for two.

Theory goes up but McAfee catches him on top, only to be shoved off. That’s fine with McAfee, who does a pretty sweet moonsault to land on his feet. A jump up to the top (that was cool) sets up a top rope superplex (McAfee shouldn’t be this good this soon) for a delayed two on Theory. Back up and Theory gets in a shot and tries A Town Down, which is countered into a rollup to give McAfee the pin at 9:43.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a celebrity match as McAfee got to show off his athleticism (that jump to the top into the superplex was very good). McAfee is one of those guys who seems to just “get” wrestling and that is one of the most valuable things anyone can have. McAfee had to win after the build to the match and it was good stuff, as McAfee can talk and actually back it up.

Post match McAfee celebrates and Vince is ticked. Vince is so ticked….that he takes his jacket off (the place is VERY interested). The shirt comes off and Vince gets in the ring (Cole: “WHY IS THERE A REFEREE IN THE RING???”). It seems that we’re doing this but Theory jumps McAfee from behind. Let’s ring that bell.

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

McMahon clotheslines him at the bell and then does it again, earning a YOU STILL GOT IT chant. The stall is on but McAfee Colts Up but McMahon distracts the referee, allowing Theory to crotch McAfee against the post. With McAfee down, McMahon gets a Dallas Cowboys football and punts it into McAfee’s stomach for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D-. So that’s how the crowd gets killed after being on fire from the McAfee match. One might think it would have been a better idea to put Theory over if they wanted to go this way, but seeing McMahon in the ring for (probably) one last time is a special moment. That being said, this wasn’t a match for the most part and the ending was awful, but what else were you expecting?

Post match Vince and Theory hug and Vince seems a big scared by Theory’s music playing. Then the glass shatters and Vince has a better reason to be afraid. Steve Austin comes out, beats up Theory, gives McMahon the all time worst Stunner (as Vince falls down both before and after) and drinks beer (good thing it was ready in case he made a surprise appearance) with McAfee. Then he Stuns McAfee, who probably could not be more thrilled.

We look at Bianca Belair’s marching band entrance before she won the Raw Women’s Title.

Wrestlemania XXXIX is in Los Angeles.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns in a World Title unification match. Reigns has been Universal Champion for a year and a Lesnar has held the title for about five minutes. Now they’re unifying them because Reigns vs. Lesnar must headline at least one major event every year until the end of time.

Universal Title/WWE Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner take all and Paul Heyman is here with Reigns (the Usos come to the ring with him but head to the back before the match). Heyman and Lesnar handle the intros (Lesnar has done that a time or two) before the latter takes off his gloves to start the match. Reigns hammers away and drives him into the corner a few times without much trouble. Three straight suplexes have Reigns in trouble and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Heyman offers a distraction though (Heyman: “I’ve always loved you. It was Roman’s idea!”) and Reigns hits a spear through the barricade.

Back in and Reigns hits another spear for two and a pair of Superman Punches drop Lesnar again. Lesnar is right back up with five German suplexes but the F5 is countered into a Superman Punch. Another spear is countered into the F5 to give Lesnar two of his own as they’re firmly in their signature formula here. Another F5 is countered and Reigns drives Lesnar into the referee in the corner.

A low blow and belt shot give Reigns two and Reigns spears him from behind (ala Lashley about two and a half hours ago, which commentary does note) for the same. Reigns tries another spear but lands in the Kimura, sending Reigns to the ropes this time. Reigns can be heard telling Heyman that his shoulder is “out”, only to spear Lesnar down for the pin at 12:17 (Heyman looked stunned on the pin).

Rating: C+. Yes the action was probably better than that but I’m so completely done with caring about these two having their same match over and over. WWE treated these two as the biggest stars in the company for so long that this is the only way they can finish Wrestlemania. That doesn’t make it interesting though, as Lesnar didn’t feel like a threat and they did the same match they have done almost every time after their first. But hey, at least the ultra dominant Reigns is now even more ultra dominant right? To be fair that wound up working, but finding a better way there would have been appreciated.

Reigns celebrates and a lot of pyro ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a weird one as there are good things about the show, but a lot of it feels like they were trying to fill in time. Too many of the matches came off as things that they needed to do rather than things they wanted to do and it made things a lot less interesting than the previous night. The good stuff is good and it had some moments (one more time for Austin and McMahon, the Knoxville/Zayn stuff and the title unification) but it felt like a pale comparison to Night One, which isn’t something to brag about whatsoever. Not a bad show at all, but you might want to pick and choose.

Overall Overall Rating: B. The show overall is good, but more of the good comes from Night One, which had the action to go with the moments. If they wanted to balance it out a lot more, moving Cody’s return to the other night would have helped, as outside of the main event, the second night didn’t have the deepest lineup. It’s a rather good Wrestlemania overall, but man it feels like an eternity has passed in the last year. Night One is definitely worth a watch though, as it feels like a Wrestlemania. Balance it out a bit and cut down on Night Two (or give us one really long night) and it’s that much better, but this did work.

 

Ratings Comparison

RKBro vs. Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Omos vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+
Redo: B-

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina vs. Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley

Original: D+
Redo: C

AJ Styles vs. Edge

Original: B-
Redo: B

New Day vs. Brawling Brutes

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory

Original: C+
Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Pat McAfee

Original: D+
Redo: D-

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C
Redo: B-

Overall Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B

So the second night was mostly better across the board and then the overall overall rating is barely up? That’s a weird one, but this show was a better sit after a year away so maybe it does have some staying power.

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

So last year at Wrestlemania XXV, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker had one of the best matches ever. That means it’s time for a rematch, with Michaels career on the line. That is more than big enough for a special match, to the point where it makes John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title feel that less important. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Prime is out within seconds, followed by Beretta and Croft at the same time. Henry launches Chavo out but then gets tossed by Khali. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali before Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows. Then Shad tosses JTG because that’s how battle royals work. Regal and Finlay slug it out for old times’ sake before everyone breaks off for fights of their own.

Masters keeps putting people in the Masterlock and is eliminated for not being that bright. Kozlov eliminates Kidd and Hart-Smith before being tossed out as well. Funaki, Goldust, Regal and Shad are out in a row, with Reks following them. Santino starts using the Cobra and thankfully is tossed out by Finlay.

Archer gets rid of Yang and is quickly dropkicked out by Tatsu (Striker continues to try and get “The Poison Fist Of The Pacific Rim” over as a nickname for Tatsu. This is because Striker is really annoying.). Knox gets to clean house for a bit but cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to get in a shillelagh shot. The Tadpole Splash hits Knox and Finlay tosses Carlito. Ryder eliminates Finlay and Knox at the same time, leaving Tatsu to kick Ryder out at 8:43.

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal to get a bunch of people on the show. They didn’t waste time here and it gave the fans something to see during the pre-show, which is about all you can ask for here. Tatsu was someone who seemed like he was ready to move forward more than once but it just never came together. It’s not like this was some big win but he was as good of a winner as you could have had.

Fantasia sings America The Beautiful. Not well but she does sing it.

The opening video talks about what it means to be at Wrestlemania and how important it is to be here. This is the big chance and the stars will seize it.

The set has something of an ancient pyramid theme with another over the ring, both of which look cool. If nothing else, I’ve always liked I Made It.

Tag Team Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

ShoMiz is defending and there isn’t much of a story here, save for Truth and Morrison winning a triple threat match to get the title shot. Miz and Morrison start things off with Morrison getting the better of things. Truth comes in with a top rope legdrop for two into a WHAT’S UP. It’s off to Show, who sends Truth flying with a fall away slam. What looks to be a Vader Bomb is broken up via a Morrison kick to the head, followed by Morrison’s knee to Miz’s head. Show breaks up Starship Pain though, leaving Truth’s dive to Show to fail miserably. Back in and Show KO Punches Morrison for the pin to retain at 3:25.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it really would have been better off as a pre-show match. They didn’t even get four minutes and there is only so much you can do with the amount of time you might get on a regular TV show. ShoMiz was a fairly forgettable team and while it was nice to have the titles on the card, it’s not like this was anything remotely memorable.

Video on Wrestlemania Week, which always looks cool.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Legacy implodes as Orton has had it with the two of them screwing up and turned on them, setting up this for some revenge. DiBiase and Rhodes go after him to start and it doesn’t go well early on. Orton gets smart by dividing and conquering but walks into a dropkick from DiBiase. The double teaming is on with both of them taking turns to punch Orton while the other holds him back. There’s a double suplex to put Orton down but he fights out of the corner (the fans approve).

The comeback doesn’t last long though as DiBiase hits a clothesline, setting up a High/Low to put Orton down again. Rhodes snaps off an Alabama Slam for two and the save from DiBiase means it’s time for the young hooligans to fight. Orton fights up and sends DiBiase to the floor, followed by a snap powerslam back inside. There’s the backbreaker to Rhodes but DiBiase pulls Orton outside. Rhodes’ dive only hits DiBiase so Orton hits the double hanging DDT. With DiBiase down on the floor, Orton Punts Rhodes and then RKO’s an invading DiBiase for the pin at 9:02.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of drama here once DiBiase and Rhodes got in their offense. Orton looked like he was toying with them at the end, which was part of the reason why he was turning into a popular star all over again. This was about Orton smashing through his former lackeys and showing them who the real star was, which he did in quite the destruction by the end.

Vickie Guerrero and company are ready for their ten woman tag. Jillian Hall comes in for a song and whole thing turns into a Slim Jim commercial, with Santino Marella having a bite to change Jillian. First she’s Mae Young, then Gene Okerlund (yes in the same dress) and finally Melina. Wacky….I guess you could call it fun? This isn’t on the Network due to the music.

Money In The Bank

Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Evan Bourne, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shelton Benjamin

This is the last Wrestlemania MITB match before it would go on to get its own show this same year. It’s the usual melee to start with almost everyone going outside. The first ladder is sent inside about thirty seconds in but a bunch of people stop to go after McIntyre rather than climbing. Almost everyone tries to go up but gets stopped, with Kane chokeslamming Bourne over the top for a crash onto more people.

Swagger and Hardy get trapped behind a ladder in the corner and Christian monkey flips Kingston into the ladder onto them. Ziggler breaks it up and makes the climb but MVP pulls him right back down. Kingston hammers on Kane in the corner, earning himself a powerbomb onto a ladder. Benjamin goes up this time so it’s Swagger spearing him with another ladder to break it up.

Swagger gets caught under a ladder so Hardy and Christian hit him with a ladder each. One of the ladders is bridged into another, with Bourne kicking Christian off the bridged version. Air Bourne hits Christian and Bourne goes up, only to be cut off by Hardy. Swagger cuts Hardy off though and shoves him onto the bridged ladder for the huge crash. Shelton and MVP go up but come crashing down, leaving everyone on the floor for a bit.

Kane goes up but has to cut off Ziggler, including a chokeslam onto the ladder. With Kane distracted, Kofi comes back in to kick him in the head but the only ladder available is broken. Kofi gets crazy creative by using the pieces like stilts and jumping up the rungs, only to have McIntyre make the save.

McIntyre goes up but Hardy shoves the ladder over for the big crotching on top. It’s Matt going up this time until Christian is there as well but they both have to knock Kane down. That’s not enough for Christian, who hits the reverse DDT off the ladder to plant Matt again. Christian goes up again, only to have Swagger make the save and pull the case down for the win at 13:29.

Rating: B-. It was a wild match as usual but there is only so much you can do with ten people in a match trying to get in as much time as possible. The stilts spot was very unique and stood out more than anything else, though the rest was little more than the usual big spots and crashes. Swagger winning is a surprise, but WWE was trying something new and that’s often a good idea.

We look back at last night’s Hall Of Fame ceremony.

The Class of 2010 is introduced:

Stu Hart (represented by eight relatives)
Wendi Richter (seems very happy to be there)
Mad Dog Vachon (sadly in a wheelchair)
Antonio Inoki (not the strongest reaction)
Bob Uecker (nice reception)
Gorgeous George (represented by his former wife)
Ted DiBiase (by far the strongest reaction)

Sweet goodness that Hall of Fame theme is always awesome.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. After debuting on Raw and winning the WWE Title within a few weeks, Sheamus was knocked out of the Elimination Chamber by HHH, costing him the title. Sheamus then went on to talk about how much he loved watching HHH while growing up. Then Sheamus laid him out, which HHH liked because it’s what he did when he went after the Ultimate Warrior in 1996 (and yes they explained how badly it went). That plus a need for revenge makes for a Wrestlemania match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

HHH’s entrance goes on for a good while, as you might have expected. Sheamus drives him into the corner to start but HHH hits him in the face. It’s way too early for the Pedigree though as Sheamus bails out to the floor. Back in and a suplex drops Sheamus again, setting up the knee drop for one.

HHH goes old school (shocking I know) as we hit the Figure Four, with Sheamus going straight to the ropes. The fight goes outside with HHH being whipped into the steps, followed by the (yet to be named) Irish Curse back inside. An ax handle to the head cuts HHH off again and Sheamus grabs the armbar.

We’ll make that a chinlock but HHH suplexes his way to freedom, sending Striker into a FAR too long….whatever you call what he does. HHH grabs a DDT and they’re both down, followed by the expected slugout. There’s the running knee into the facebuster for two and a neckbreaker drops Sheamus for the same.

The yet to be named Brogue Kick misses so HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be reversed into the Brogue Kick for two. The fans are rather behind HHH, who fights out of the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) and gets two more off a spinebuster. Sheamus rolls out to the apron and manages another Brogue Kick…but takes too long and gets Pedigreed out of nowhere for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This is the type of match that will work almost every single time as you had two big strong guys beating the fire out of each other until the ending. That’s the kind of brawl that both of them know how to do (though Sheamus would get WAY better later on) and it worked here. That being said, Sheamus is the up and comer and loses to HHH, which seems to be a bit counterproductive, but this would hardly be the first time that happened.

We recap CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio. After Mysterio cost Punk a spot in Money In The Bank, Punk scared the heck out of Mysterio’s daughter Aliyah. They then traded various attacks before Punk creepily sang Happy Birthday to Aliyah, which was too far. Now it’s time for their fight, with Mysterio having to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has the Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows and Serena) with him and talks about how these 70,000 people here are going to drink or try pills to make their problems go away. He can be their savior and lead them to a better place because he chooses to be drug free and better than everyone here. Mysterio is one of the Na’vi from Avatar, which isn’t quite the same as the superhero gear he tends to use.

Gallows offers an early distraction and Punk gets to stomp away in the corner before tying Mysterio in the Tree of Woe. A missed charge results in a crotching against the post though and they head to the floor…where Punk drops him face first onto the steps. Back in and Punk hammers away for two and we’re already in the chinlock. Mysterio fights out like he’s a top star who was in a chinlock and hits the springboard seated senton.

Punk snaps off a powerslam for two before hitting one heck of a kick to the head for the same. Four more near falls have Punk rather frustrated until Mysterio is up with a springboard moonsault DDT for two of his own. Mysterio’s frog splash misses to give Punk two more, meaning it’s time for even more frustration. Back up and Mysterio loads him up for the 619 but has to take out the Society. Not that it matters as the 619 into the springboard splash finishes Punk at 6:30.

Rating: C+. Another match that was good but they didn’t have the time to do very much. It had the stakes and they work well together, but there is only so much they can do when they have less than seven minutes. It makes perfect sense to have the loudmouth holier than thou heel get what’s coming to him and who better to do that than one of the resident superheroes?

We recap Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon. Hart returned after thirteen years of bitterness after the Montreal Screwjob and of course Vince McMahon couldn’t let it to. Hart wanted to fight Vince at Wrestlemania but got turned down, only to have his leg broken in a car wreck in the parking lot. Then Vince agreed to fight him….and then Hart revealed he was gold bricking, because that’s just what Hart does.

Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart

No Holds Barred. Hold on though as Vince grabs a mic and says he’s hired a bunch of lumberjacks, in the form of various members of the Hart Family. As a bonus, Bret’s brother Bruce can be guest referee! Bret isn’t overly shocked and says what’s done is done. If there is one thing about the Harts though, it’s that they got paid up front and the money is already in the bank.

If there is one thing he’s learned from the Montreal Screwjob, it’s there’s nothing better than a good double cross. The Harts, including Bret, are united, and tonight is the night that Bret screws Vince. The bell rings and Bret punches him down and chokes in the corner, with Vince bailing to the floor. That means the Harts can make it even worse, including a slap from Natalya (Striker: “Best luck in your future endeavors Natalya.”).

The Hart Dynasty hits a top rope Hart Attack to the floor and it’s time to throw Vince back inside. Bret works on the leg, which sends Vince outside again. This time he comes back in with tire iron but Bret knocks it away again and takes it away. Bret hammers away with the tire iron…and then does it some more…and more, to the point where unless Bret has the strength of a two year old, Vince should be in a coma.

The Sharpshooter is teased but Bret lets it go so he can use the tire iron again. Some low blows have Vince down again and let’s get a chair in there too. Bret sits down and then hits some hard chair shots to Vince’s back. The chair is bent up so Bret finally (and I do mean finally) grabs the Sharpshooter for the win at 11:08.

Rating: C. Ok so I’ve called this an A+ before because I love what they did with Vince being absolutely destroyed and not getting in a single bit of offense. This was never supposed to be anything but a massacre until the Sharpshooter…but my goodness how long did they go with the tire iron/chair shots? The thing here is that this is really only a match in name only so I’m not going to call it bad, but Bret couldn’t have mixed it up with some different stuff other than hitting him over and over with the same stuff?

A big Hart celebration ensues.

Wrestlemania XXVII is coming to Atlanta, Georgia.

Official attendance: 72,219.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown World Title. They were partners last year but Edge tore his Achilles. Edge came back at the Royal Rumble (at #29 in a great surprise) and won, setting up his title shot here. For some reason the build for this match involved Edge saying “spear” over and over until it lost all meaning.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending. They start slowly with Jericho grabbing a headlock (Jericho: “Ask him!”) but Edge is right back with some running shoulders. Jericho is back with some stompings in the corner before sending Edge outside. That’s good for a long count before Edge comes back in and gets chinlocked. Jericho slowly stomps and slaps away, which takes long enough that Edge manages to send him shoulder first into the post.

A running shoulder sends Jericho into the announcers’ table and there’s a clothesline off the apron. They head back inside and hopefully pick up the energy a bit here. Back in and Edge gets two off a super gordbuster, followed by a middle rope sunset flip for the same. Jericho goes simple by kicking him in the head but the Codebreaker is blocked. The spear is countered into a quick Walls but Edge slips out.

The Lionsault misses and Edge is right back up with the Edge O Matic for two. Jericho’s enziguri gets two more but so does the Impaler as things slow back down a bit. Jericho mixes things up a bit with a middle rope forearm to the back of the head (Edge was nice enough to look over his shoulder before Jericho jumped), only to have his own spear cut off by a big boot.

The real spear is countered into a Codebreaker for a rather delayed two. Jericho starts going after the ankle before switching to the Walls. We’ll make that a half Walls to stay on the bad ankle but the rope is grabbed. Edge’s rollup for two is also grabbed and they crash out to the floor for a breather. The frustrated Jericho grabs the belt and the referee gets distracted, allowing Jericho’s belt shot to get two. The Codebreaker to a limping Edge retains the title at 15:47.

Rating: B. This was good but it never hit that next level and it made things kind of disappointing. Edge only teased the spear once and never got a big near fall. I was expecting something a lot more epic than we got here and that just didn’t happen. There were some shenanigans due to the belt shot but this needed to be more intense and violent given what Edge was saying coming in.

Post match Jericho goes after Edge again but Edge hits a spear off the announcers’ table and through the barricade as the feud must continue.

We look at the pre-show battle royal.

Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse/Vickie Guerrero vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James

Get the women on the show special. Vickie bumps Gail to start and turns around to pose, only to run into Phoenix. The non-Vickie team takes turns beating on Vickie in the corner, who asks if Kelly knows who she is. That earns Vickie a kick to the ribs with McCool making the save. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of finishers, leaving Vickie crying in the corner as Beth comes up behind her. McCool makes another save and the Hog Splash (Cole’s name) finishes Kelly at 3:29.

Rating: D. Oh what else were you expecting here? A bunch of the people barely did anything, there were a bunch of Vickie fat jokes, Lawler drooled over most of them and Striker continues to try to make everything sound like the most important moment ever because it gets people paying attention to him. Terrible match and little more than a way for Vickie to keep her heat.

We recap John Cena challenging Batista for the Raw World Title. Cena got the title back in the Elimination Chamber but Vince McMahon allowed Batista an immediate title shot. Now it’s time for the fair rematch, with Batista talking about being tired of Cena being the star when they got big at the same time. You can pretty much ignore all of those details though and just go with “It’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania.”

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and Cena’s big entrance is from the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. We get the Big Match Intros before they fight over a lockup. Batista grabs a headlock before running Cena over, only to have Cena come back with a headlock of his own. That’s broken up and Batista sends him hard into the corner for the running clothesline to the back of the head.

Some cranking on the neck has Cena down but he manages a release suplex (that didn’t look great) and the bulldog connects for two. It’s way too early for the AA though as Batista reverses into a DDT for two of his own. A chinlock with a bodyscissors keeps Cena down for a bit, only to have him power up and start slugging away. Batista sticks with what has been working by grabbing a neckbreaker for two more.

The front chancery keeps Cena in trouble until he powers up again. The STF goes on out of nowhere but Batista grabs the rope like a bad villain should. Batista is fine enough to hit a spear for two before loading Cena up top. The superplex attempt is blocked and Cena hits a super Five Knuckle Shuffle of all things.

Batista gets back up and hits his namesake Bomb for two, giving us a great shocked face. Back up Cena counters another Batista Bomb into the AA (toss variation) for two, leaving them both down. Cena goes up but dives into a spinebuster (how Batista injured Cena’s neck a few years ago), only to have the Batista Bomb reversed into the STF (with Cena giving him a LONG talk) for the tap at 13:29.

Rating: B. It’s good and they were getting to the big stuff but I was expecting longer than just shy of fourteen minutes. Cena getting the title back is the right way to go for him though as he can put someone else over rather soon. Batista was not quite what he used to be but these two instantly make for an epic feel. Not a classic match, though they didn’t do anything wrong with the setup and finish going rather well.

Cena poses with a guy in a WE HATE CENA shirt for a funny moment.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker. Shawn lost to him the previous year before, leaving Shawn obsessed with having to get the win. It is so big that Shawn is willing to put his career on the line against the Streak, saying he doesn’t have a career if he can’t beat the Undertaker. Not that it matters as this feels absolutely huge and you know it’s going to go well.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ. The entrances are absolutely epic and you know that you’re about to see something special. They also take their sweet time getting to the ring and it builds up even more, with Shawn staring at Undertaker the entire way to the ring. Undertaker charges at him to start but Shawn is right there with the chops. Shawn gets flipped into the corner, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Old School connects but Undertaker comes up limping a bit. The chokeslam is loaded up but the knee gives out, with Shawn wisely kicking away at the leg. The Tombstone is broken up as well so Shawn starts in on the shoulder, which is a bit of an odd choice given UNDERTAKER IS LIMPING.

Undertaker slips out but has to block a quick superkick attempt as things reset a bit. The logic kicks in as Shawn starts going after the knee in the corner but Undertaker clotheslines him to the floor. The Taker Dive is loaded up but Shawn comes back in to take out the knee in a rather smart move. It’s too early for the Figure Four and they head outside, where Shawn is rammed back first into the post. The apron legdrop connects but Shawn goes after the leg again to take over.

Now the Figure Four goes on until Undertaker sits up. Shawn: “No.” And Undertaker goes back down. Well that was polite of him. Undertaker turns it over so Shawn wisely lets go and they take a breather. Back up and they strike it out until Undertaker grabs a quick chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is escaped again though and Shawn grabs the ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker finally uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom so Shawn sends him outside. A springboard spinning crossbody is pulled out of the air so Undertaker hit the Tombstone on the floor to knock Shawn silly. Medics come out to check on Shawn but Undertaker isn’t having that and throws him back inside for two, meaning frustration is setting in. This might have more of an impact if MATT STRIKER WOULD SHUT UP for once, but instead he needs to keep shouting what he thinks sound like highlight reel worthy lines.

The Last Ride is loaded up but Undertaker’s knee gives out and they crash down, with Shawn getting two off a faceplant. Shawn’s top rope elbow only hits raised knees, which have Undertaker in even more pain. Hell’s Gate goes on but Shawn flips over into a rollup for two. Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere for two but another attempt is countered into a heck of a Last Ride for two more.

They go outside and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. That takes too long though and it’s a superkick to knock Undertaker onto the table instead. In something that couldn’t possibly go wrong, Shawn goes up and moonsaults down onto Undertaker, mostly hitting his feet/lower legs, which does tie into everything so far. Shawn realizes he has a chance and throws Undertaker inside and hits a clean Sweet Chin Music (that has to be the fourth or fifth) for two, with Cole telegraphing the kickout by screaming that Streak was over.

Another superkick is countered into a chokeslam but Undertaker can barely move, let alone cover. Instead it’s a Tombstone (with tongue) for two and we get another stunned face. Shawn can’t get up so Undertaker loads up the throat slit….but stops. Undertaker tells him to stay down as Shawn pulls himself up and then slaps Undertaker in the face, admitting that he can’t do it and basically telling Undertaker to finish him off. The jumping Tombstone does just that at 24:00.

Rating: A+. What do you want me to say here? This is an absolute masterpiece and one of the best matches either of them have ever had if not their best ever. The leg stuff played a role throughout until Shawn gave it everything he had but just couldn’t do it in the end. It told an amazing story with some great action, including multiple near falls where you could buy it being over. It’s better than I remember it being and one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history.

Undertaker needs the ropes to get to his feet and Shawn finally gets up. Undertaker says something to him we can’t see and they hug before Undertaker leaves him alone in the ring. Shawn gets to soak in the THANK YOU SHAWN chants before doing the long walk up the ramp. Shawn: “I’m gonna drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” He looks back again and walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird show as there isn’t much that is Wrestlemania worthy. Edge vs. Jericho is just good, Money in the Bank is its usual ok self, HHH vs. Sheamus is a slightly above average power brawl and Batista vs. Cena wasn’t even fifteen minutes long. Those are the high points though, as the rest of the show is pretty much mediocre/forgettable to bad. That doesn’t make for a great Wrestlemania, but this show is usually pretty well remembered.

That’s because of the main event and my goodness does it deserve the praise it receives. I’ve seen it a few times now and it pulled me in again with how epic of a showdown they were having here. It felt like a Wrestlemania main event match and you do not get those very often. That match alone makes this Wrestlemania worth seeing, though I would definitely recommend fast forwarding a good bit of the midcard, as it was quite the miss in multiple places.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: C-

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: C

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: B+
2024 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B-

That’s quite a drop for the overall rating but some of the lower matches just don’t hold up as well.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the biggest night of the year and this time the show does indeed feel big. You can feel how things have been going strong on the way here and I want to see how it goes. That takes some work when I have already seen the show multiple times. It is a stacked card and the biggest is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires, which is really Donald Trump vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, let’s do the pre-show match for a bonus.

Pre-Show: Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match to get more people in front of the crowd. The entrance is a little weird here as there is a huge curtain in front of the set, which does make this feel like a bonus. Flair and Helms start things off with Helms taking him into the corner for a slap to the face. A hiptoss into some chops slow Helms down and it’s Carlito coming in to knee lift Chavo.

Carlito dropkicks Chavo off the apron to little avail but Helms kicks Carlito off the apron to take over. Back in and Chavo belly to back suplexes him into a chinlock but Carlito fights up in a hurry. The hot tag brings in Flair to clean house as everything breaks down. Helms breaks up the Figure Four but Chavo misses the frog splash. Guerrero is back up and tries the Three Amigos but Carlito escapes and hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing but a standard Raw match here (if you ignore the Smackdown wrestlers involved) and that is perfectly fine for the spot they were in. This was about warming the crowd up and having Flair out there is going to do that just fine. Sometimes you need someone to set the stage for later and these four did it just fine in a very simple tag match.

The opening video looks at a history of the show, including some major moments. We also get a special look at Wrestlemania III, with the famous Vince McMahon introduction swinging into this year’s America the Beautiful, once again sung by Aretha Franklin.

We go to the regular opening video, featuring a bunch of wrestlers talking about how they have always dreamed of being here as children. Now they are all grown up and it is time to take the stage themselves. This campaign has grown on me a lot over the years and I like it a good bit more than I used to.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Money in the Bank as they’re starting big this year. Everyone looks up at the briefcase to start and then it’s already time to head outside for the fight. It’s a brawl to start and Finlay dives off the top onto almost everyone else. Matt has to cut off Edge’s climb, leaving Orton and Finlay to climb the ladder to no avail. Booker goes to pull out another ladder but finds Hornswoggle’s stepladder instead, allowing Punk to knock him down.

Edge bridges a ladder between the apron and the barricade but Booker starts cleaning house. There’s the Spanarooni, only to have the Hardys run Booker over with ladders. For some reason Finlay saves Edge from the see saw ladder treatment and Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder. Kennedy’s Kenton Bomb onto hits ladder (with Kennedy landing HARD on the back of his head) and it’s a Hardy slugout on top of the ladder.

Finlay breaks that up but gets speared down by Edge. More spears drop just about everyone else but Punk wraps the ladder around his head to knock out various people. Edge slides in the big ladder and climbs, at least until Orton shoves him over the top and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge over the bridged ladder and Jeff dives onto him, breaking the ladder to get rid of both of them. Both guys are taken out on stretchers and we’re down to a six way.

Now it’s time for the parade of RKOs and Orton climbs, despite not being underneath the briefcase. Punk breaks that up and climbs as well, only to get taken down with a super RKO for the huge spot. Booker grabs the Book End and goes up but Matt is there to catch him. Cue Queen Sharmell to grab Matt’s leg but Booker gets distracted by Matt and walks into the Twist of Fate.

Finlay gives Matt a Celtic Cross onto the ladder, busting himself open in the process. Now it’s Hornswoggle going up the ladder until Kennedy catches him for a super Regal Roll off the ladder. Punk dropkicks the ladder down to cut Finlay off and it’s Punk vs. Kennedy on top of the ladder. Kennedy gets knocked down but comes back up and kicks Punk down, allowing him to grab the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. I never know how to rate these things but it was another blast with everyone flying around and having one crash after another. This was a lot of fun and one of the right people won, which is what matters the most in a match like Money in the Bank. Everyone got a chance to shine here, even in a complete car crash match like this one. Rather fun opener.

We look at the premiere of the Condemned. It wasn’t that good.

Mr. Kennedy congratulates himself and says any champion needs to have eyes in the back of his head because he’s coming with the briefcase.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Interpromotional battle of the monsters, though Kane doesn’t even have his big hook here. Khali shoves him down to start and adds a shoulder to drop Kane again. There’s a clothesline to set up a slam as it’s all Khali so far. The nerve hold doesn’t last long so Khali starts stomping away in the corner as JR gets in the bowling shoe line. Kane is back with some right hands and the top rope clothesline, which doesn’t knock Khali down.

Instead, Kane knocks him into the ropes for the tie up and NOW it’s time for the big hook. That takes too long though and the slugout is on with Khali getting the better of things. Khali rips the turnbuckle pad off but Kane gets in a low blow into the slam (for the Hogan/Andre callback). It’s just a slam though so Khali is back up with the double chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? They had five minutes and the whole thing was about making Khali look like a monster. The hook never meant anything (as it would have killed Khali) but the slam was a cool moment. Sometimes you need a bit of a cool down match and that’s what you got here after the crazy opener.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme try to cheer Eugene up so here is Extreme Expose for the dancing. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come up in the same outfits to dance but Slick (get him in the Hall of Fame already) comes in to show them up. Dusty Rhodes, IRS, Jimmy Hart, Gerald Brisco (in a suit of course) and finally Ricky Steamboat come in. Say it with me: Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

MVP is challenging and has his own cheerleaders for some Wrestlemania flavor. Benoit drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headscissors on the mat. That’s reversed into a headlock as they’re going technical early on. MVP has to block the German suplex and the Crossface but Benoit sends him outside. Back in and MVP has to go to the rope to break up another Crossface attempt, which has Cole impressed. With the holds not working, Benoit chops him into the corner and loads MVP up on top, only to get knocked back down.

MVP starts in on the arm, including with some kicks and driving shoulders. The confidence gets a bit too high though as Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex. It’s too early for the Swan Dive though and MVP catches him on top with a superplex. MVP stays on the shoulder by sending it into the post and a belly to back suplex onto the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Benoit pops up and snaps on the Crossface. The bar arm gives out though and MVP plants him with a slam. Ballin gets two but the running boot misses in the corner. Benoit rolls more German suplexes and the Swan Dive retains the title clean.

Rating: C+. This was always a weird one for me as they set up MVP to win the title but then Benoit just retains clean. I’m still not sure what the point of this one was other than to give us a surprise. The match itself was like a good Smackdown match so it isn’t out of place, but this felt like a curve ball for the sake of a curve ball, as it isn’t like Benoit is some kind of amazing champion.

Donald Trump is in on the phone in his dressing room and complaining about things. Boogeyman comes in and Trump no sells it, asking for some food.

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. William Shatner still seems to have almost no idea who Jerry Lawler is.

Official attendance: 80,103.

Howard Finkel introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2007 (I still love that song):

Jim Ross (quite the reaction)
Curt Hennig (represented by family)
Jerry Lawler (also quite the reaction)
Nick Bockwinkel (Fans don’t seem to know him, but is this guy ever not impeccably dressed?)
Mr. Fuji (I would never have recognized him, though it’s Don Muraco of all people wheeling him out)
The Wild Samoans (Not much of a reaction but how were they not in already?)
The Original Sheik (represented by his wife)
Dusty Rhodes (your headliner)

We get a fan poll on Undertaker vs. Batista, with Undertaker winning 82%-18%. That’s a heck of a squash.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot and Batista is all BRING IT ON as we have the monster fight for the title. This feels like a Wrestlemania World Title match and that’s kind of a hard trick to pull off.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Teddy Long handles the introductions for a bit of a weird moment. We get the full druid entrance for Undertaker, which will never stop being awesome. Batista spears him down at the bell and it’s time to trade right hands in the corner. It’s actually Batista getting the better of things and the fans are not too thrilled with that. Undertaker pulls him outside for a ram into the apron but Batista is right back for a hard whip into the steps.

Back in and Batista nails a top rope shoulder (dang) for two and a heck of a clothesline cuts Undertaker off again. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and punches Batista into the corner for the running clotheslines. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the legdrop for two as we’re back to mostly even. Old School looks to set up the chokeslam but Batista powers out and knocks Undertaker down.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind as he sends Batista to the apron for the legdrop. There’s the Taker Dive and they’re both down on the floor. Back up and Batista drives him HARD through the barricade and hammers away as things have cranked up in a hurry. The announcers’ table is loaded up and a running powerslam drives Undertaker through it for the big crash. That’s only good for two back inside so Batista punches away even more.

The Batista Bomb is broken up with a drive into the corner but Batista is right back….with right hands from the middle rope. I guess HHH didn’t teach him that one and it’s the Last Ride for two. The frustrated Undertaker gets caught in a spinebuster but pops back up with a chokeslam for two. Batista slips out of the chokeslam and hits the spear into the Batista Bomb for two as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Undertaker backdrops his way out of another Batista Bomb and sends Batista into the corner. The Tombstone is enough to give Undertaker the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania level title match between two monsters. These two beat the fire out of each other and didn’t bother with anything other than the big power moves. They were trading bombs throughout the whole match and it was a question of who would survive, which made the whole thing world. It helps when Undertaker was motivated by being put in the middle of the card and cranked it up a notch, as both guys felt like they were on another level here.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Stephanie McMahon brings her daughter in to meet Vince McMahon and we get the baby carriage cam, with Vince talking trash about Donald Trump. Jokes about a smell, at Trump’s expense, ensue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

That would be Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn/Matt Striker, with Ariel in the New Breed’s corner. The Originals come through the crowd for a nice bit of flavor. Sabu starts fast with the springboard elbow and body block to drop Striker. Sandman comes in so Cor Von makes a fast save and stays to beat on Dreamer. A hard elbow drops Dreamer and it’s Burke coming in for the Elijah Express.

The mocking of Dreamer’s pose delays the near fall and it’s Thorn coming in for a chinlock. A spinebuster gives Thorn two with Sabu making a save of his own. Cor Von’s chinlock stays on Dreamer’s back but he lets go to knock Sandman off the apron. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and, after kicking Burke away, it’s a hot tag to bring in Van Dam. House is cleaned, including the monkey flip and Rolling Thunder to Striker. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Striker as Sandman runs over people on the floor. The Five Star gives Van Dam the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a good match or really anything close, but what matters here was giving ECW ANYTHING to do on the show. They didn’t need to do anything more than the basics here and Van Dam winning is a perfect way to go. You can all but guarantee that this feud isn’t over, especially with an Extreme Rules rematch out there.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires, which is more about asking celebrities who they want to see bald. To keep it simple, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon got in a stupid argument over who is richer/invented YOU’RE FIRED/walks funnier so it’s time for a match between their handpicked representatives with the billionaires’ hair on the line. Throw in Steve Austin as referee and it’s the real Wrestlemania main event.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Non-title, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are both here, with Steve Austin as guest referee and Armando Alejandro Estrada in Umaga’s corner. Everything, including the barber’s chair, gets its own entrance (JR: “All we need now is a barbershop quartet.”). They stare at each other before colliding, with Lashley driving him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley away because Umaga is in the ropes so Lashley goes up for a middle rope clothesline.

Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the rope so Lashley powerslams Estrada and sends him outside. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor as well but Lashley misses a charge to send himself flying outside as well. Back in and Umaga gets two off a splash and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Austin doesn’t like that either and breaks it up, just to keep things even. The near explosion lets Lashley elbow Umaga in the face but Umaga runs him over again.

Some sitting down onto Lashley’s chest sets up a Samoan drop and Trump….looks about the same as he has all match. Lashley knocks Vince off the apron but Umaga is right back with a Downward Spiral. A trip up top takes too long as Lashley slams Umaga off the top for a double nine count, though Austin just won’t count the ten. Cue Shane McMahon to help Vince up as Umaga uppercuts Lashley down to cut him off again. Austin goes after Umaga’s eye to break up the choking so Shane offers a distraction, allowing Umaga to Samoan Spike Austin to the floor.

The double beating is on and Shane, after pointing at Trump (who points back), hits the Coast To Coast. Shane has a referee shirt (because of course he does) and Umaga’s top rope splash connects. Austin is back up to pull Shane to the floor and take him out (Trump, sounding calm: “What’s going on over here?”). Umaga drops Austin again but Trump clotheslines Vince (there’s your entertainment show highlight), leaving Austin to Stun Umaga. The spear gives Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was expecting some kind of amazing match here and that’s not what you got. Instead, this was the crazy brawl surrounding the not very great power match. They kept this relatively short too, as there was no need to stretch this out any longer than needed. There was no way Trump was getting his head shaved so just get to the good stuff, which they did.

Post match Austin drags Vince inside for the shaving, but has to beat up Shane first. Vince tries to escape but Lashley chases him down without much trouble and drags him back to the ring. Back in and Vince bumps into Austin (as identified with a rub of the bald head), meaning it’s a Stunner to get Vince in the chair. The shaving is on (with Austin holding Vince for old times sake), even as Vince screams to not do this to him. JR: “It was Mr. McMahon’s real hair all along!”

They even whip out the shaving cream and razors to REALLY shave it off. JR: “Wrestlemania XXIII may be all grown up, but Mr. McMahon’s hair is all shaved off.” Vince looks eerily calm but then loses it all over again when Lashley holds up the mirror. As usual, Vince will do anything asked of him to make a moment like this. Beer is consumed and Austin Stuns Trump (the worst of all time, but he tried) to wrap it up.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

We look at the pre-show match as the ring is cleared out.

Commentary recaps the night so far.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

Melina is defending and it’s a lumberjill match, with all of the lumberjills being named during the group entrance. Melina starts fast with the boot choke in the corner as JBL says the women look good enough to even impress Cole. Ashley gets knocked into a short giant swing and it’s off to a double arm crank with Melina’s boots in Ashley’s back. The comeback is on with Ashley whipping her into the corner and grabbing a monkey flip. Starstruck (middle rope elbow) misses though and Melina grabs a bridging cradle to retain.

Rating: D. Did you expect anything else? Ashley isn’t a wrestler and Melina isn’t good enough to carry her to anything great. They were very smart to keep this short as there was no way they could do anything long term here. Ashley did as much as she could, but this was nothing more than a way to promote her Playboy, as is the tradition for this spot.

Post match the big brawl is on and the good ones clean house in a hurry.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

John Cena beats Shawn Michaels in another fan poll 59%-41%.

We recap John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels won a triple threat match to earn the spot and has since decided that he wanted to protect Cena until Wrestlemania. They wound up winning the Tag Team Titles but Shawn finally superkicked Cena, as is his nature, on the final Raw before Wrestlemania. Cena winning seems likely, but it’s Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, and that is always going to give him a shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and comes out to the DX theme, which still doesn’t feel quite right. You would think his already iconic theme song would work, though he’s pretty famous for this song too. Cena’s big Wrestlemania entrance this year involves driving a Ford Mustang into the arena, right through a glass wall. They happen to be Tag Team Champions as well but it doesn’t mean as much here.

Shawn sits on the top turnbuckle as we’re ready to go. After hopping down, Shawn tells Cena to bring it and finally slaps him in the face to pick up the pace in a hurry. Cena gets knocked down into the corner and that means a crotch chop from Shawn. A backflip gets Shawn out of a belly to back suplex and Cena is frustrated early on. Shawn headlock takeovers him down and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Cena cuts him down with a clothesline as the fans are firmly behind Shawn here.

Shawn enziguris him to the floor, setting up the springboard moonsault onto Cena onto the announcers’ table for the really nasty crash. Back in and Shawn goes for the leg, including stomping it down and wrapping it around the post. More stomping has the referee asking if Cena can continue and Shawn bends the knee around the rope. Shawn chops away so Cena punches him in the face for a simple yet effective counter.

A missed charge sends Shawn hard into the post and he’s busted open (thanks to one of those lightning quick blade jobs). Cena starts the comeback, including the ProtoBomb and Shuffle, but Shawn slips out of the FU. A quick Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake (it seems early for that) and the FU is countered into a DDT to put them both down. With no referee, Shawn takes Cena outside for a piledriver onto the steps. Cena is busted as well as Shawn pulls him back inside, where a second referee comes in for the near fall.

The forearm sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline. They’re both down again (as you might have guessed) for a bit before it’s time for the big slugout. The FU is countered into a sunset flip to give Shawn two but the next attempt connects. Cena can’t cover at first so it’s a very delayed near fall. Shawn breaks up the super FU and tries the superkick but has to counter the STFU (over and over) before getting two off a small package.

Cena is back with the STFU but Shawn realizes he is about a foot away from the rope and they’re out again. Back up and Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music for a delayed near fall of his own. They pull themselves up and Cena snaps him right back into the STFU to make Shawn tap and retain the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania main event and that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They went with the epic match here and by the end, it felt like either of them could pull this off. It made everything feel that much better and it felt like an incredible main event. Again, I’m not sure how much drama there was over who was going to win here, but they still had an outstanding match with Shawn making Cena look like a killer and Cena hanging with Shawn well enough to feel like the biggest star in the company when he retained the title.

Shawn walks away post match, but Cena offer the salute.

The Ladies And Gentlemen highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The big matches delivered and the bad stuff was mostly short. While it isn’t quite a classic, this is firmly in the higher tier of Wrestlemanias. What mattered here was the feeling, as you had a pair of great World Title matches, Money in the Bank delivering, and the big song and dance match with the Battle of the Billionaires. The rest of the show was watchable at worst and as a result, it felt like a Wrestlemania. That’s more than you could say about last year’s edition so they are trending in the right direction.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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