Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2001 (2024 Edition): And We’re Done

Royal Rumble 2001
Date: January 21, 2001
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 16,056
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a bit since I’ve looked at this one and it’s still one of the more fondly remembered Rumbles. The WWF is on fire at the moment and the big story is the return of Steve Austin, who wants the WWF Title back. Said title is currently help by Kurt Angle, who is defending against HHH. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on how this could be several people’s only chance to be WWF Champion. People like Albert! Billy Gunn! The Rock! Undertaker! The Rock and Undertaker again!

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Edge and Christian are defending and the Dudleys are getting over concussions (because you could just wrestle with them back in the day). The Dudleys start fast, not even waiting for the recap video to end. They fight to the floor for a bit with the Dudleys keeping them in trouble. Back in and D-Von slugs away at Edge, followed by a neckbreaker.

Christian comes in and gets double shouldered for two as commentary talks about the. I Dudleys’ concussions (which don’t seem to be bothering them). A headscissors out of the corner puts Bubba down and he grabs his head, even as he takes Christian into the corner. D-Von comes in but gets Russian legsweeped and neckbreakered for a pair of two’s.

The chinlock goes on and Bubba gets to play cheerleader (which is quite the disturbing visual). Naturally the fans want tables as D-Von counters out of a piledriver and catapults Edge into Christian. A double clothesline leaves everyone but Bubba down, meaning it’s a tag…which the referee doesn’t see.

Bubba argues with the referee, leaving D-Von to have to duck a Conchairto attempt. Another clothesline is enough to bring Bubba back in to clean house, including a Bubba Bomb to send Christian outside. There’s What’s Up to Edge so naturally it’s table time. Christian breaks it up but Bubba rolls Edge up for two. The 3D is broken up as well, with Edge’s spear getting two on Bubba. Edge tries his own What’s Up but a quick reversal means it hits Christian. The 3D gives us new champions at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This is one of those pairings that is virtually impossible to screw up and they seem to understand that concept. You could run these teams and the Hardys for pretty much ever and the WWF did just that to some great success. This wasn’t even a great match, but it was more than entertaining enough to start the show off and keep the fans interested. The title change to cap it off made things even better so nice job early on.

During Heat, Drew Carey arrived. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon clarified that Steve Austin will be in the Royal Rumble tonight despite getting in a fight with HHH, which violated an agreement. Kurt Angle caused the fight though and therefore everything is still on. This was more to clarify some confusion and that’s a good thing.

HHH and Stephanie McMahon are in their locker room, with HHH saying that he needs her to put her hatred for Trish Stratus aside during the title match aside. Stephanie says if Trish puts her nose….or anything else in their way, she’ll deal with her. Drew Carey comes in, says he hasn’t been watching much lately, and talks about running into Kamala at the airport. HHH tries to shoo him away, so Drew plugs his upcoming comedy pay per view and goes to find Vince McMahon. Stephanie offers to take him to meet Trish Stratus. This was prime Stephanie “NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS AND YOU’RE NOT SCARY”.

The APA show each other their Rumble numbers and think it’ll be interesting. Crash Holly comes in and says they may be friends but he’ll eliminate them if he has to. Bradshaw: “And they call us drunks.”

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit in a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title. They’ve been feuding for a good while so it’s time for the big blowoff match. This isn’t a feud that needs that much of of a story and WWE seems to get that.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is defending in a ladder match. They go right after it to start with Jericho elbowing him down. Jericho stomps away in the corner but has to block a Crossface attempt. Benoit sends him into the post but Jericho knocks him to the apron. The triangle dropkick misses and they fall out to the floor so let’s go for the ladder. Jericho’s baseball slide misses the ladder so Benoit sends him hard into the steps.

It’s way too early for Benoit to go up so Jericho cuts him off without much trouble. A running ladder shot to the face drops Benoit and Jericho puts the ladder over the top rope. Benoit reverses a whip to send Jericho into the ladder and out to the floor, only to have the dive cut off with a chair to the head (that was nasty). Jericho misses a ladder shot so Benoit chairs him down and we’ll go outside, complete with the ladder.

They go into the corner, where Jericho kind of Russian legsweeps him from the middle rope and down with the ladder for another crash. Benoit is up first and puts the ladder on the top, with Jericho sending him face first. That’s not enough as it’s a slingshot with the ladder to send it into Benoit’s face again. Jericho starts going up but Benoit suplexes him over the top and out to the floor for another nasty landing.

Now it’s Benoit going up, but Jericho is back in and grabs the Walls on top of the ladder in one of the most creatively awesome spots I’ve ever seen. Somehow that’s not enough as Benoit crashes down but pops up to shove the ladder down again. The Crossface makes Jericho tap, so Benoit goes up.

The Swan Dive from the top of the ladder misses though, allowing Jericho to put the ladder on top of him. Benoit powers out of that as well and Jericho crashes out to the floor again. Another climb is cut off by some Jericho chair shots and another shove sends Benoit crashing out to the floor. Jericho finally pulls down the title at 18:45.

Rating: A. There are different ways to resent a ladder match and this one was designed around two guys beating the living daylights out of each other. That worked to a charm, as this was one of the most violent matches you will see without going totally over the top. It’s still an incredible match with two guys hurting each other for a long time with some nasty looking crashes and spots. Awesome match and well worth what should be another look.

Drew Carey meets Trish Stratus and hits on her a bit but Vince McMahon comes in. More pay per view plugging ensues until Vince puts him in the Royal Rumble. Carey is in.

Billy Gunn tries to talk Chyna (with her bad neck) out of a match but Chyna is having none of it.

Chris Jericho says he proved Chris Benoit wrong.

We recap the Women’s Title match, as Ivory (of Right To Censor) is not happy with Chyna, who is out for revenge after Right To Censor attacked her. Chyna has a bad neck coming in but just wants to wreck Ivory anyway.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is challenging and jumps her to start, with Ivory being thrown down by the hair. The forearms in the corner have Ivory down and a heck of a right hand knocks her off the top. The beating goes into the crowd before Chyna takes her back inside. Hold on though as Chyna has to beat up Steven Richards as well before hitting a handspring elbow….and down she goes. Ivory crawls over and gets the pin at 3:32.

Rating: C. This was more an extended angle than a match as the whole point was Chyna getting hurt again. Ivory didn’t get in a single shot, save for maybe some ineffective punches, and then they did the angle to end it. There is only so much you can do with Chyna in the women’s division and that was on display here, as Chyna was a wrecking ball against the champion.

Post match Chyna is stretchered out.

Stephanie McMahon runs into Trish Stratus in the hair and makeup room and things get catty over their relationships.

Drew Carey is given some gear and runs into Kane. He’s not impressed.

Low Down (egads) is told their Royal Rumble spot is being given to Drew Carey.

Fans at WWF New York give their picks for HHH vs. Kurt Angle.

We recap HHH challenging Kurt Angle for the WWF Title. HHH wants the title but there is still the whole Kurt Loves Stephanie deal, though that peaked a few months back. Since Kurt can’t have a McMahon with him, he’s settling for Trish Stratus, which has Stephanie furious (Trish having an affair with Vince McMahon doesn’t help).

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Angle, with Trish Stratus (equaled out by Stephanie McMahon), is defending. HHH cranks on the arm to start before hitting a running shoulder. Back up and Angle hiptosses him down so we need a breather on the floor. That doesn’t last long as HHH is back in with some rather hard right hands. Angle goes to the arm as well and cranks away as this is starting a big more slowly than I would have expected.

Some suplexes have HHH in more trouble but they go back outside for some whips into the barricade (that’s more like it). Back in and HHH drop toeholds him down, setting up the Indian deathlock. With that broken up, Angle enziguris his way to freedom as Lawler talks about Andy Kaufman. HHH kicks away at the leg in the corner and wraps it around the post, with a Stephanie distraction allowing HHH to get in a chair shot.

Back in and some chop blocks have Angle in even more trouble, setting up the full on Indian Deathlock. With that broken up, HHH switches to the Figure Four to stay on the knee. Trish tries to interfere so the catfight with Stephanie is on. They go over the announcers’ table and can’t be separated, even by Vince McMahon. Vince finally picks Trish up and carries her off but Stephanie breaks that up as well.

With the three of them gone, HHH goes back to the bad knee as the match remembers it is happening. Angle kicks HHH away and into the post, setting up a DDT for two. A German suplex gives Angle two more so he heads up, only to get kind of Razor’s Edged down for three straight near falls. Back up and Angle runs him over, setting up the moonsault (which connects) for two.

The referee gets bumped so they go outside, with Angle being sent into the post. Back in and HHH goes up for some reason, allowing Angle to run the ropes for a super armdrag. There’s no referee so the fight heads back outside, this time with HHH sending Angle into the referee into the steps. Back in and Angle counters a belt shot into a belly to belly but HHH grabs the Pedigree. Cue Steve Austin (HHH recently cost him the title) to jump HHH though, including a belt shot to the face and the Stunner to give Angle the retaining pin at 24:21.

Rating: B-. It’s a good brawl and they worked well together but my goodness there was a lot going on here, with the match needing to be about five minutes shorter. Austin costing HHH the title doesn’t so much hurt Angle, who already feels like he is playing with the house’s money, but rather keeps the title on someone who is showing he can hang at this level. Good stuff here, but cut it down a few minutes and it’s a better match.

The Rock talks about how this is the biggest Royal Rumble of all time and says it doesn’t matter if the Undertaker and Kane are together. After referencing nipple tickling, Rock says it could come down to himself and Bull Buchanan, Perry Saturn, or even….Steve Austin. Either way, he’s going to Wrestlemania. Why his music plays after a promo isn’t clear.

Video on the Royal Ruble, with a look at most of the people involved.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #1 and Bull Buchanan in at #2. Buchanan starts fast and slugs away but can’t press slam Jeff out. Instead Jeff puts him on top but can’t get him out either, putting them at about even so far. Choking on the ropes ensues until Matt Hardy is in at #3, because tag teams have a tendency to start the Rumble together. A double clothesline quickly gets rid of Buchanan so the Hardys bump fists and then go with some grappling. Matt can’t get rid of Jeff but Jeff can’t get rid of Matt until Faarooq is in at #4.

The Hardys are dropped with a double clothesline and Jeff is sent to the apron, where he cuts off the Dominator to Matt. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton is enough to get rid of Faarooq and it’s time for the Hardys to fight again. Naturally this means the shirts come off (yes, the women in the audience approve) before they can slug it out. Jeff nails a Whisper in the Wind and it’s Drew Carey in at #5.

The Hardys keep fighting and go to the corner, while Carey slowly gets inside. Matt and Jeff eliminate each other, leaving commentary to realize that Carey is currently the last man standing. Then Kane is in at #6 (JR: “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”) and Carey immediately starts asking for the Hardys to get back in. Kane slowly walks around the ring to kill some time, allowing Carey time to offer him some money. That doesn’t work either as Kane grabs him by the throat, only to have Raven come in at #7 for the save, allowing Carey to wisely eliminate himself.

Raven gets knocked outside (not eliminated) where he manages a fire extinguisher shot to Kane. Cue Al Snow in at #8 (coming in before the clock even starts) to jump Raven, but then the clock counts down for him anyway. A bunch of weapons are thrown in, including Snow’s trusty bowling ball. Said ball is rolled between Raven’s legs before he and Snow start trash canning Kane. The drop toehold into the trashcan puts Kane down and it’s Perry Saturn in at #9.

Saturn gets….well not that smart actually by going after Kane’s knee. Kane gorilla presses Saturn but onto the mat for no logical reason. Everyone combines to go after Kane and finally get him down, which still doesn’t seem that bright. Steve Blackman is in at #10, giving us a group of Kane, Raven, Snow, Saturn and Blackman. With everyone else brawling, Blackman brings out his sticks to beat up everyone but Kane as the lack of brightness continues. Grandmaster Sexay is in at #11 but Kane has had this and quickly clears the ring.

Honky Tonk Man of all people is in at #12 and tells Kane to give him a minute. We start the song, until Kane grabs the guitar and smashes it over Honky Tonk Man’s head. That’s enough for the easy elimination and Kane is left alone….but the Rock is in at #13 to make things a lot more interesting. Rock hammers away and hits the running clothesline but Kane hits him in the face. Rock’s right hands are cut off by a big boot and Goodfather is in at #14.

That lasts all of three seconds before Rock punches Goodfather out, leaving Kane to hit a suplex. The side slam plants Rock and Tazz is in at #15, only to be tossed out in less than ten seconds. Rock gets in a Samoan drop and it’s Bradshaw in at #16. Bradshaw gets to hammer on both of them until Kane hits a double clothesline. Albert is in at #17, sending Lawler into a need for updates on Trish Stratus and Stephanie McMahon. Even Lawler can tell that JR is ignoring him as JBL saves Rock from Albert for no logical reason.

Hardcore Holly is in at #18 as Albert chokebombs Bradshaw. Holly and Bradshaw team up but can’t get rid of the Rock (the fans were interested though), leaving Alberto to drop Kane with a single boot to the face. K-Kwik (R-Truth) is in at #19 and my goodness it’s weird to hear him called a rookie. Albert still can’t get rid of Albert as Val Venis is in at #20. That gives us Kane, Rock, Bradshaw, Albert, Holly, Kwik and Venis, with Kane spinebustering Venis out of the corner. Brawling on the ropes ensues until William Regal is in at #21.

Venis can’t get rid of the Rock, but the tease of an elimination again brings quite the strong reaction. Test is in at #22 and gets rid of Regal without much trouble (and would take the European Title from him the next night on Raw) before going after Albert. With more brawling against the ropes not doing much, Big Show makes a surprise return at #23 and cleans house, getting rid of Test and Kwik before chokeslamming everyone but Rock.

Instead Rock kicks him low, hits some right hands, and clotheslines Show out. Show looked awesome there for about a minute and a half but then he was out. Hold on though as Show clears off the announcers’ table and pulls Rock to the floor for a chokeslam through said table. Crash Holly is in at #24 as a bunch of people can’t get rid of Kane. Undertaker is in at #25 and he quickly saves Kane from the big mob.

Everyone but Kane and Undertaker (and Rock on the floor) are quickly eliminated, leaving the monsters to stare at each other as JR is BEGGING them to fight each other. JR: “It started with brother vs. brother with the Hardys”. No JR, it didn’t. They stare at each other until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #26 and, after waiting to get in, is quickly eliminated. Steve Austin is in at #27….or he would be as HHH jumps him from behind to even things up from earlier.

Rock gets back in to go after Kane but gets jumped by Undertaker. The bloody Austin is left laying in the aisle as Billy Gunn is in at #28 and goes after Undertaker and Kane to save Rock. Undertaker plants Rock as HHH finally leaves and it’s Haku (the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion but without a WCW contract) in at #29. Undertaker and Kane can only do so much with him as JR and Lawler get into a shouting match over whether Austin deserved to get jumped or not.

Rikishi is in at #30, giving us a final group of Kane, Rock, Undertaker, Austin (on the floor), Gunn, Haku and Rikishi, which is quite the up and down levels of main event talent. Austin manages to get up and starts wrecking people, including stomping Gunn down in the corner. Austin gets rid of Haku and Undertaker sends Rock to the apron. Rock saves himself, leaving Undertaker to hurt his own head while headbutting Rikishi.

A superkick actually puts Undertaker out but Rikishi takes too long loading up the Banzai Drop, allowing Rock to eliminate him (as you can hear Undertaker leaving on the motorcycle). We’re down to Austin, Kane, Gunn and Rock, with Gunn hitting a Fameasser on Austin. Then Gunn is tossed and we’re down to three. Kane gets knocked down (not eliminated) and that leaves Austin vs. Rock, which has the fans WAY into things again. The Rock Bottom is blocked but Austin hits a Stunner and Thesz presses Kane.

Rock is back up and sends Kane through the ropes to the floor (not eliminated), meaning it’s another slugout with Austin. They go for the eliminations but Kane is back in to toss Rock. That leaves us with Austin vs. Kane, with a chokeslam putting Austin down. Austin manages a low blow and a chair is brought in, which can’t go well. The Stunner drops Kane and three straight chair shots into a clothesline are enough to give Austin the win at 1:01:57.

Rating: A-. There was a bit of a lull in the middle but Rock and Austin and Kane and others were all enough to make this work. What matters is keeping the fans interested and they had the Carey stuff, then the hardcore stuff, then the serious stuff got going with the Rock coming in to fight Kane. All of that was good, but it really cranked up when Austin came in. It’s not the best Rumble ever, but it’s pretty great with nothing close to bad.

Overall Rating: A. Yeah this is an all timer, with the only thing close to bad being a three and a half minute angle disguised as a match. Other than that you have good World and Tag Team Title matches, plus the amazing ladder match and a pretty incredible Royal Rumble. It’s a show that more than holds up and there is pretty much nothing on here worth really complaining about. Check this one out if you haven’t in a bit, as it’s still great.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A
2013 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A

Ivory vs. Chyna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2024 Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: B
2013 Redo: B+
2018 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A

Yep, we’re done with this one as it’s about as definitive as it can get.

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1999 (2016 Redo): It Never Gets Easy

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

As much as last year’s show was a necessary evil, this show is just evil in general. The company is firing on all cylinders right now but it’s much more about drama than anything else. Mankind won the world title in a shocker 20 days before this, beating the Rock in an impromptu match on Raw. Tonight is the rematch in an I Quit match, which is the only match Mankind knows he can’t lose to Rock. It turns out to be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Also the Rumble is nothing but a backdrop for Austin vs. Vince, which isn’t a good thing either. Let’s get to it.

Luckily for me, I’ve been reviewing the Raw’s leading up to this show, so the stories will actually be fresh in my mind for a change.

This version opens with some interviews by guys in the Rumble, talking about how the bounty on Austin (Vince has offered $100,000 to whoever knocks Austin out) has them extra fired up. Chyna getting #30 is also discussed.

Opening video is what you would expect. Also the theme song for this show is No Chance, which would become Vince’s theme song after tonight. The idea is that Austin is #1 in the Rumble and Vince is #2, meaning if Austin wants to go to Wrestlemania, he has to run the gauntlet.

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Roadie is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title and a regular match. Dang it I forgot Boss Man is a tag champion here so I can’t call one of them a champion. Boss Man runs the ropes to start so Roadie tells him to suck it. The fans get on Boss Man so he shoves Road Dogg into the corner and pounds away. The Big guy misses a splash in the corner and Dogg pounds away. The announcers ask a very good question: why isn’t this for the title? Vince could make it for the title if he wanted, but instead he makes it non-title? Why?

Anyway, Road Dogg crotches Boss Man on the post to take over but gets knocked to the floor by an elbow. Back in and Boss Man pounds away but Dogg steps on his foot to escape. That lasts for about five seconds as Boss Man kicks him in the face to take over again. We hit the bearhug and Boss Man thrusts his hips into Dogg’s crotch. There’s an image I certainly didn’t need.

Dogg bites his way out of the hold but gets kneed right back down. The buckle pad is taken off and Boss Man gets two off a spinebuster. Boss Man wins a brief slugout and chokes away again. Lawler cheers for Boss Man but Dogg grabs a sleeper to get himself a breather. Boss Man goes up for some reason and is slammed down almost immediately. Dogg comes back with his usual and gets two off the shaky knee, but the Boss Man Slam ends this out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Meh. That’s the only word that came to my head after watching this. At the end of the day, when the Outlaws play things seriously, they get pretty dull. Boss Man was fine in this role and he played it as he always did, but that doesn’t mean he should be having twelve minute matches with the Road Dogg. Not a bad match at all, but I don’t quite get why it existed.

We get a quick recap of Billy Gunn vs. Shamrock. Gunn hit on Ryan Shamrock (Ken’s sister) and Ken snapped, giving Billy a title shot for some reason as a result.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock

Surprisingly enough Gunn is the aggressor to start but Ken is a bit of a better ground fighter, giving himself control. Billy comes back with a clothesline on the double (tag/IC) champion as things slow down. A suplex gets two for Gunn but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing Ken to fire off some kicks. Ken fires off more kicks to the chest and back of Gunn and gets two off a spinwheel kick.

Billy comes back out of nowhere with the yet to be named Fameasser to buy himself a breather. He pounds away in the corner but Shamrock dumps him to the floor before pounding Billy into the barricade. The beating continues as Gunn is sent into a chair to keep Shamrock in control. They fight to the apron where Gunn makes a quick comeback, hitting a kind of Stroke into the announce table.

Back in and Shamrock goes right for the knee to take over. No ankle lock yet though as Ken busts out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Well if nothing else he has good taste in leg moves. For those of you younger people, it’s basically Shamrock wrapping his legs around Billy’s leg and crushing it between his own knees/legs. A HARD kick to the head puts Billy down again and we hear about Billy’s bad ankle from Raw. Not that he has tape on it or has been limping for the first ten minutes of the match or anything, but apparently he has a bad ankle.

Billy comes back with a clothesline but the referee is bumped. Cue Val Venis who also has issues with Shamrock to DDT the champion, giving Billy a two count. Gunn pounds away but goes up (with a bad ankle because he’s an idiot) and crashes on the ankle. Ankle lock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Too long here and the Venis thing didn’t change anything at all. Billy’s ankle injury was pretty stupid because you didn’t really need the stuff from Raw to set up what happened here. Shamrock got a solid midcard push around this time and even had some cups of upper midcard coffee (only $5.95 at Starbucks!). The Corporation and DX would keep feuding for a few more months.

Shane fires Vince up in the back.

European Title: Gangrel vs. X-Pac

The vampire is challenging. This is another of those matches that is there so they can have another title match on the card, meaning there’s no story that I can think of. Road Dogg might have gotten a blood bath recently but that’s about it. They hit the ropes very quickly to start with Pac grabbing an armdrag to take over. Gangrel grabs a headlock but they speed things up almost immediately again.

Pac hits a quick legdrop but misses a kick in the corner to shift momentum again. We hit the chinlock to give the guys an earned breather. The champ fights up and gets thrown into the air for two. Gangrel misses a top rope elbow and Pac gets two off his jumping clothesline. A big spinwheel kick takes Gangrel down again and X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster.

The third spinwheel kick in about four minutes takes Gangrel down, but Pac gets crotched on the top, continuing a theme tonight. Pac tries a cross body but Gangrel rolls him through for a botched near fall by referee Teddy Long (he countered three but Pac’s shoulder was up). Not that it matters as the X Factor retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Referee’s botch aside, this was a nice surprise. Gangrel is hardly known for his in ring abilities but he looked pretty good out there tonight. Pac was better here against a smaller guy as usual, and we got a good match out of it. After the two longer and not great matches earlier, this was a nice pick up.

DX says they’re united tonight but the $100,000 bounty makes it every man (Chyna: “And woman”) for themselves. Billy was nowhere to be seen here for some reason.

Here’s Shane to be ring announcer for the next match for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Scratch that ring announcer line as apparently he’s here to accept Sable’s forfeiture of the title. This was supposed to be a strap match which had a total of 18 seconds of build on Raw. That’s not an exaggeration either. They came out during another match and that was the only mention. Luna attacked Sable on Heat before the show tonight and injured the champ’s back, but Sable wants to fight anyway.

This is the four corners variety so Sable can look TOUGH here. Sable shoves her into the corner and whips Luna to the floor. She keeps whipping Luna and gets three corners but Luna makes the stop. We get more choking and whipping before Luna drags Sable around with both of them getting the buckles at the same time. You know, like in every other strap match EVER. Shane gets up on the apron before Sable gets the buckle, but Sable’s psycho fan Tori uses the distraction to deck Luna, giving sable the win.

Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.

The Corporation says it’s everyone for themselves.

We recap Rock vs. Mankind, which we’ve covered already. Rock lost the title on January 4 on Raw so he wanted a rematch. Mankind kept saying no until Rock said he’d quit trying, which Mankind immediately accepted. The idea is that Mankind has never quit and has been through so much punishment that there’s nothing Rock can do to beat him.

Rock says that he isn’t just some other guy to Mankind, and he’s going to be the first man to make Mankind give up. If you’ve never seen it and have a stomach for blood, I can highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Mat, which is about the behind the scenes world in the WWF and this match is a focus of the film. This promo was being filmed by the documentary cameras and Mankind was about three feet from Rock here. More on this later.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

I Quit rules here. Rock is in his workout gear, which means his male breast enlargement surgery scars haven’t quite healed yet. There isn’t a single bit of sarcasm or humor in that statement. Mankind is defending and had to fight on Heat against the 500lb Mabel. Also the champ has recently gotten his most well known theme song, but it’s still the original version here which doesn’t have the clapping in it yet.

Mankind takes over early and hits his running knee to Rock’s head in the corner. He pounds away on Rock but Rock isn’t ready to quit yet. Some mic shots to the head keep Rock down but he still won’t say it. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Rock gets in a shot to take over. They head to the commentary desk where Rock talks some trash to King before getting hit in the back by a chair.

Back in and there’s the double arm DDT from the champ. Mr. Socko makes an appearance to put the Claw on Rock. King: “But you can’t talk with your mouth full!” The hold puts Rock out, meaning he can’t say he quits. Not the smartest move in the world there Mick. We brawl into the crowd but Rock hits a kind of suplex to take them back to ringside. There’s the bell ringing spot (Rock puts the bell on Mankind’s head and rings said bell) before singing a bit as only Rock can pull off in the middle of a match.

Rock loads up the Rock Bottom on the table but it gives way, crashing them to the floor. They slug it out some more and head up the aisle where Mankind clotheslines Rock down. Up to the tech area now and Rock hits the snap DDT onto the concrete. It’s ladder time (almost kind of foreshadowing in a way) but Rock gets crushed underneath it before he can use it. Mankind misses an elbow drop onto the ladder and both guys are down again.

Rock sets up the ladder next to the tech area and they climb up to a ledge in front of a balcony. The slugout ensues and Mankind is knocked off the ledge and onto the electrical stuff which shoots sparks and knocks out the arena lights for a few seconds. Mankind is mostly dead on the floor so here’s Shane to come out and ask Rock to chill a bit. Rock says he’s going to make Mankind say he quits, but he won’t ask him. You know, because Mankind isn’t going to say it and Rock knows this. Cole of course doesn’t get it and whines for about five minutes about it.

We head back into the ring where Mankind is basically out on the mat. Cole: “How is Mick Foley standing?” HE’S FREAKING LAY…..never mind. It’s not worth trying to get through Cole’s thick head. Anyway, Rock finds some handcuffs and this is about to get bad. Rock starts pounding away at Mankind’s unprotected head. Somewhere in there the champ was busted open.

Mankind comes back with a pair of low blows and headbutts (remember his arms are handcuffed behind his back). Rock clotheslines him down….and grabs a chair. We get the Corporate Elbow on the chair on Mankind’s head, but that’s just the beginning. Mick won’t quit, so Rocky hits him in the head (remember, unprotected) twice with HARD chair shots. Here are three more to finally knock Mankind down and out to the floor.

Even Lawler says that’s enough, but Rock hits Mankind in the back and side of the head with the chair. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Rock has a clear shot at Mankind’s back but instead waits for him to stand up and hit him in the head again. ANOTHER shot (we’re up to about 12 now) to the head puts Foley down and Mankind SCREAMS that he quits. Note that Mankind isn’t moving an inch and there’s a noticeable echo to his voice which there hasn’t been all night. That would come into play on Raw the next night.

Rating: B. This is a REALLY hard one to grade because the last five minutes are nothing but disturbing. We saw a guy completely defenseless and having his head smashed in with a piece of metal by a world class athlete. Pre Benoit or post Benoit, that’s a completely unnecessary risk and a terrifying thing to see. I love these two fighting, but this was legitimately disturbing.

Again, if you’ve never seen it, check out Beyond the Mat. It shows Mankind’s wife and family in the audience in terror watching this, but you can only hear the sound of the chair shots. If it was a horror movie it would be absolutely chilling. Also it shows Foley in the back looking at himself after the beating and the first time he looks in a mirror he stops almost cold. This went WAY too far.

We recap the Rumble, which is literally all about Vince vs. Austin and Austin’s path back to the title which begins tonight. Vince keeps screwing Austin out of the title but he’s kept coming back to get another shot. That’s most of the year in a nutshell actually.

Earlier tonight Austin came in on a monster truck limo for no apparent reason. He got in Vince’s face earlier as well, resulting in the Stooges getting beaten up.

Royal Rumble

There’s a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head and we have Austin at #1 and Vince at #2. I think you can see what’s coming from here. The intervals are 90 seconds here. Howard goes into a REALLY long winded explanation of the rules, causing Lawler to freak out on him. Vince of course takes the chance to show off his impressive physique. Austin immediately pounds away as Cole sums up Vince vs. Austin: “How often do you get to see an employee rip the CEO of a Fortune 500 company apart?”

Austin destroys Vince for a few moments with basic stuff until Golga is #3. There’s the Thesz Press and Golga slides in but Austin knocks him out in 15 seconds. Vince rolls to the floor and heads into the crowd with Austin chasing after him. They brawl (read as Austin punches him and Vince staggers away) up the crowd as there’s no one in the ring. Droz comes in at #4 with no one to fight. See, why did Golga have to be eliminated? It doesn’t sound great but having Droz vs. Golga is better than nothing.

Anyway, Vince and Austin brawl into the back and into a ladies’ room where the Corporation jumps Austin. Naturally the camera feed is lost so we don’t see what actually happens. We come back to the arena to see Droz just standing there. The years away from meaning anything Edge is #5 to actually give us some action. After about 45 seconds, Gillberg is #6. The hilarious entrance takes forever and Edge dumps him in about five seconds.

We cut back to the bathroom and Austin is out cold on the floor. Steve Blackman is #7 as the low level stuff continues. I mean, at the end of the day NO ONE in the ring at the moment is going to be bought as a serious contender here. Austin is being treated by EMTs as Blackman fires off kicks to Edge. Dan Severn and his wet t-shirt are #8. He and Blackman have the WWF style MMA fight as we see Austin on a stretcher. That’s about the fourth time we’ve cut to Austin and away from the ring.

Tiger Ali Singh (think an Indian Ted DiBiase with ZERO charisma) is #9 as we see the ambulance drive away. The five nothings in the ring continue to waste our time until Blue Meanie is #10. Again in way less than 90 seconds, there’s no #11. We cut to the back (running theme tonight) and see Mabel beating up Mosh to take his place in the match. He immediately dumps Severn and Blackman plus Singh. There go Meanie and Droz, leaving us with Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg who is #12. Road Dogg dumps Edge and there go the lights.

Taker’s music hits and we have the Acolytes and Mideon in the ring beating up Mabel. They dump him out, yet AGAIN leaving us with just one person standing there. Taker and Bearer pop up and stare down Mabel, apparently hypnotizing him, which would lead to Mabel becoming Viscera. Gangrel is #13 with his rocking entrance music. There goes Gangrel so we stand around a bit more.

Kurrgan is #14 and destroys Dogg with power stuff. Psycho Al Snow is #15 and helps double team Kurrgan. Snow tries to get on the ropes for more leverage and is immediately dumped by Dogg. Goldust is #16 and Kurrgan gets double teamed again. With the big man down, Roadie tries Shattered Dreames on Goldie. Kurrgan saves Goldust for no apparent reason and it’s Dogg that goes down instead.

Godfather is #17 but the Ho’s leave, ticking off the fans. After about 30 seconds of Godfather being in the ring, here’s Kane at #18 to FINALLY give us some star power. The ring is cleared in about 30 seconds and the place goes nuts for Kane. Since having Kane as a dominant monster to set up a showdown with another big name would be interesting, the people from the insane asylum come out to try to institutionalize Kane (just go with it), so he eliminates himself.

Shamrock is #19 with no one to fight. Vince comes back out to do commentary. Billy Gunn limps to the ring at #20 and is immediately taken down with a leg shot. The beating goes on for awhile until Test is #21. We cut to the back (AGAIN) to see Mabel being beaten into a hearse. An ambulance pulls up and it’s being drive by a certain bald headed Rattlesnake. Because clearly a guy can be beaten down, wake up less than 20 minutes later, get out of an ambulance bed, take over the ambulance, and get back to the arena in under half an hour.

Austin comes back to the ring as Boss Man is #22. Austin chases Vince around and into the ring but gets jumped by Shamrock. That’s it for Kenny so here’s HHH at #23, giving us three tall guys with long blonde hair. Billy goes after Austin for the sake of the money as Vince plays cheerleader. Vince tries not to slip into commentator mode as he talks about people wanting the money.

Val Venis is #24 and Austin dumps Billy. X-Pac is #25 and Val pounds on Austin. He kicks Steve to the floor as we’re just waiting on the Austin and Vince interaction. A spinwheel kick from Pac puts Austin down as Mark Henry is #26. Henry swings for Austin but decks Boss Man instead. Jeff Jarrett is #27 and nothing happens again. Pac kicks at a lot of people and hits the Bronco Buster on Boss Man.

In a somewhat famous bit, HHH is clearly heard asking Val if he can hang on if HHH throws him over the ropes. After that punch to kayfabe’s stomach, D’Lo Brown is #28. Austin dumps Test and X-Pac to give us some more mat space. Boss Man and Jarrett team up to try to eliminate Austin but he fights them off again. There goes Jarrett as Owen Hart is #29. Austin spits at Vince as the ring is way too full.

Chyna is #30, giving us a final group of Chyna, Austin, Vince, Boss Man, HHH, Venis, Henry, Brown, Hart and Chyna. Chyna manages to dump Henry but is knocked out almost immediately by Austin. HHH throws Val out to get us down to five. There’s a Stunner to dump HHH and get us down to five guys. Austin avoids a dropkick from Brown and they fight in the corner a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Austin and is backdropped out just a few seconds later. Boss Man takes Austin down and Brown hits the Low Down. Brown poses too long though and Boss Man tosses him, only to get tossed by Austin. We’re down to Austin vs. McMahon and the beating is on. Austin destroys Vince with a chair shot and the boss is in big trouble. We head back inside and Vince hits a quick low blow to give himself a breather. Austin comes back with the Stunner and beats on Vince until Rock comes out. Rock and Austin have their staredown, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. No. This was a failure on every level. The premise was stupid, the execution was TERRIBLE, and Vince winning makes the whole thing a big joke. We had THREE part where the booking resulted in the ring being empty. Who in the world thought that was a goo….oh yeah this is still Russo Time. Absolutely horrible here and the worst Rumble of all time, pretty much by far.

Vince has a BIG celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The Rumble SUCKED, the title match was decent, and the rest of the show was either bad or forgettable. That’s more or less 1999 in a nutshell. On top of that, this would all mean NOTHING by the next week, as we had Halftime Heat coming up to give Mankind the title back, as well as Vince forfeiting his title shot at Mania, resulting in Austin going anyway. Just awful overall.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

Redo: C+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: F

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

It still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2021 (2022 Redo): Thank Goodness It’s Over

Survivor Series 2021
Date: November 21, 2021
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,120
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Pat McAfee

Since it’s Survivor Series and there are no other possible options for the show in the history of ever, it’s time for a Battle Of Brand Supremacy with wrestlers who have been on the roster for about a month. That means a battle of World Champions Roman Reigns and Big E., plus Survivor Series tag matches and….a Rock 25th Anniversary battle royal? Let’s get to it.

For the sake of simplicity, all matches involving champions are non-title.

Kickoff Show: Damian Priest (Raw) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown)

US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion and Rick Boogs handles Nakamura’s entrance, much to Pat McAfee’s (now dancing on the announcers’ table) delight. Priest works on the arm to start but a Boogs guitar solo cuts that off, allowing Nakamura to grab a headlock. Nakamura takes him into the corner for Good Vibrations, with Boogs playing something that is in no way Good Vibrations.

Back up and Priest knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, meaning Boogs plays some more for a distraction. Some strikes to the head rock Priest and the sliding German suplex makes it worse (with McAfee jumping up to celebrate). Priest fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

South Of Heaven is broken up though and Nakamura kicks him in the head again. Kinshasa is countered into South Of Heaven for two but the Reckoning is blocked. Priest counters an armbar into a triangle choke but Boogs guitars Nakamura to freedom AGAIN. Finally Priest goes outside and breaks the guitar (McAfee: “YOU SON OF A B****!”), with one of the pieces nailing Nakamura for the DQ at 9:24.

Rating: C. I was having fun with the back and forth as they had some chemistry together, but at the same time, there is only so much you can get with the constant Boogs interference. I do like that they didn’t have a champion get pinned here and instead went with Priest snapping to finish things up. Not a great match, but a fast paced one to start things off.

Smackdown – 1
Raw – 0

The opening video talks about how this is two sides battling….and we see a clip from Rock’s Netflix movie Red Notice. The voiceover talks about how many things the movie and show have in common before moving into the nonsense about this being the ONE NIGHT where Raw and Smackdown go head to head. Clips from the movie mock teamwork, which is what this show is all about. After more clips and more generic opening video statements about how important the show is, we’re ready to go.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte. They were old friends but then both wanted to be the best, with Lynch getting there in a big way. Then Lynch left on maternity leave and Charlotte bragged about how great she (as in Charlotte) is so now that Lynch is back, it’s time to fight.

Before we got there though, there was also the VERY awkward moment where Charlotte was supposed to hand over the Raw Women’s Title and dropped it instead, leading to ALL KINDS of problems/discussion. Oh and Charlotte’s REALLY annoying “UH-OH” promo. This does at least have a personal story rather than just doing the Raw vs. Smackdown deal.

Charlotte (Smackdown) vs. Becky Lynch (Raw)

For a bonus, they’re both dressed as characters from Wandavision, with Charlotte as the villain and Becky as the hero. Becky hits her in the face to start and the brawl is on early. Charlotte goes for the leg but has to escape a Disarm-Her attempt. Back up and Charlotte hits a spear but Becky hits a heck of a spinning kick to the face. They head outside for a hard posting to Charlotte but it’s too early for the Manhandle Slam.

Charlotte gets her down and rams Becky’s face into the mat over and over. Becky is sent outside so Charlotte loads up the moonsault, which is shoved HARD into the barricade for a great looking crash instead. Charlotte sends her into the barricade and they both get back in at the same time for the big staredown. Becky avoids a shot to the knee in the corner but an armbar is countered into a powerbomb for two.

Some stomps in the corner have Charlotte in trouble and the fans aren’t thrilled with Becky. A fall away slam sends Becky into the corner for a crash, followed by the Andrade double moonsault for two. Charlotte snaps her throat first across the top but Becky knocks her into the ropes. The Fameasser onto the ropes gives Becky two and Charlotte misses the big boot, only to ram her head into Becky’s for two instead. The second big boot gets two instead so Becky is right back with a Christian layout reverse DDT.

Back up and the Manhandle Slam gives Becky two more, setting up a cross between a Figure Four and a heel hook. Charlotte turns it over for the break anyway and they’re both down for a bit. I’m not sure why Becky is down but it does make things a bit more dramatic. Yet another big boot knocks Becky outside and the moonsault…well it comes close to her at least, with the replay not making it any better.

Back in and Charlotte grabs her own Disarm-Her but Becky slips out. They fight into the corner where Charlotte grabs a rollup with ropes for two, as the referee sees the cheating. Becky reverses into a rollup of her own and doesn’t get caught grabbing the ropes for the pin at 18:13.

Rating: B+. These two work well and they treated it as a huge match, especially at the start where they both came out swinging. The ending was more of a way to save Charlotte than to give us a definitive winner, but after Charlotte has gone over so many times, doing a tainted job to the biggest female star ever isn’t asking too much. Great opener, with all kinds of energy and the big fight feel.

Raw – 1
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: Debuting at Survivor Series 1996.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, Austin Theory, Bobby Lashley
Smackdown: Drew McIntyre, Jeff Hardy, King Woods, Happy Corbin, Sheamus

Survivor Series match and MVP/Madcap Moss are the respective sixths. Lashley has his spot after taking it from Dominik Mysterio and also caused Rey Mysterio to lose his spot to Theory. On the other side, Sami Zayn lost to Hardy, costing himself a spot on the team. You know, in case you needed a recap on the five people per show being thrown together. Rollins, the self proclaimed Raw captain, lets Owens start, so Owens bails to the floor and leaves for the countout less than a minute in.

After Owens takes a bow, McIntyre jumps Rollins on the floor as Theory comes in to face Woods. Theory gets his arm cranked on and it’s McIntyre coming in to launch him into the corner. Sheamus and McIntyre take turns chopping at Theory (McAfee is rather giddy) and Corbin gets in on it with a pretty good right hand. Theory manages to punch his way to freedom though and the tag brings in Rollins, who is knocked right back into the Smackdown corner.

It’s Hardy coming in to start on the arm and a quick splash gets one. Rollins is able to grab Sheamus by the arm though and Balor comes in to work on that arm for a change. Again though, that doesn’t last long as Sheamus drags him right back over for the tag to Corbin. We continue to e parade of arm cranking between people who don’t really dislike each other, making this match feel all the less interesting. Deep Six gets two on Balor with Lashley making the save, meaning everything breaks down.

With almost everyone else being knocked down, Balor kicks Corbin in the head and drops the Coup de Grace for the elimination. Hardy comes in to face Balor and the fans are rather pleased. It’s Hardy taking over with the basement dropkick but Balor’s own dropkick gets his own two. Lashley comes in for a running shoulder in the corner to Hardy, which has McAfee worried on commentary.

Hardy fights out of Balor’s chinlock and hits Whisper in the Wind, leaving Lashley and McIntyre to fight on the floor. Lashley posts him (McAfee: “DREW ARE YOU OK???”), leaving Theory to cover Hardy for two as the fans are interested in….something. It’s back to Woods to clean house, including a discus forearm to Theory. Lashley crotches Woods on top though and the Hurt Lock is good for the elimination to make it 4-3 Raw.

Everything breaks down again and Balor’s slingshot dive is pulled out of the air by Sheamus. We get the big Lashley vs. McIntyre showdown with Lashley backing up for some reason. McIntyre jumps him instead but Lashley powers him into the corner. That earns him a clothesline out to the floor with McIntyre following to post Lashley for a change. They fight over the barricade and that’s a double countout to get rid of the big guys.

The fans are NOT happy, even as Lashley jumps McIntyre after the eliminations. A Claymore drops Lashley though and a Glasgow Kiss drops a laughing Rollins before both guys leave. We’re down to Sheamus/Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory/Balor with Sheamus charging into a boot in the corner. That’s enough for Rollins to dive over for the hot tag to Balor, who is quickly powerslammed for two.

Balor is back up with a Sling Blade but the Coup de Grace misses, setting up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin. Theory is right in for a heck of a dropkick and it’s Rollins coming back in for a chinlock. After a pretty good while, Sheamus powers up and brings Hardy in to clean house.

Everything breaks down with Sheamus playing Matt Hardy for a springboard splash to the other two in the corner. That’s enough for Sheamus and Hardy to hit stereo ten forearms to the chest, followed by White Noise to Rollins. Everything breaks down again and Rollins pulls Hardy off the apron, leaving Theory to roll Sheamus up for the elimination. That leaves us with Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory…but Sheamus decks Theory before he leaves….and then does it to Hardy too.

Rollins is fine enough to get the tag and hit a frog splash for two on Hardy as we settle in to the beating. Theory takes Hardy up top but gets knocked down, setting up the Swanton for the pin. Rollins isn’t happy and glares at Hardy, who grabs a rollup for two. A hard forearm to the back of the head gets two on Hardy but the Twist of Fate drops Rollins. The Swanton hits raised knees though and the Stomp gives Rollins the final pin at 29:55.

Rating: B. It was a fun, hard hitting match, but the Raw vs. Smackdown lineups continue to feel so worthless. They might as well do a Lethal Lottery format and you would get the same result. The good thing is that the talent is here and can make a match like this work, but the format desperately needs to change to make it more interesting.

Raw – 2
Smackdown – 1

WWE did some charity stuff in Harlem.

Vince McMahon arrived earlier and got a big reception from a bunch of the wrestlers. Then he pulled out a gold egg, because cross promotion.

Classic Rock Moment: recreating the Montreal Screwjob a year later at Survivor Series 1998.

Roman Reigns comes in to see Vince McMahon, who shows him the egg. That’s Cleopatra’s egg, which was given to him by the Rock. Apparently it’s worth $100 million dollars, which Reigns says is as much as his next contract. And that’s it.

The Rock 25th Anniversary Battle Royal

Shanky, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Robert Roode, Angel, Humberto, Shelton Benjamin, Sami Zayn, R-Truth, Cedric Alexander, Montez Ford, Jinder Mahal, Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro, Otis, Mansoor, Drew Gulak, Erik, Chad Gable, Ivar, Apollo Crews, Omos, AJ Styles, Ricochet, Angelo Dawkins

The Street Profits come to the ring with a bunch of Pizza Hut. Nothing wrong with a sponsorship. Cole and Graves get pizza but Saxton is denied, as he should be. Styles bails to the floor and stands on the announcers’ table as everyone else fights for the smart move of the night. Gulak and Benjamin are out to start with Humberto following them. Truth heads outside to get some pizza, which he offers to Omos and Otis.

The latter takes it before throwing Truth out and going after Omos. Otis doesn’t last long and Gable armbars Cesaro over the rope. That’s broken up and Cesaro knocks Gable out and T-Bar is dropkicked to the floor by Ricochet. The fans want pizza but have to settle for Alexander and Garza being tossed out. There goes Erik and Ivar at the hands of Shanky, because the potential is in Shanky instead of the Viking Raiders. Omos gets rid of Shanky with ease and Roode catapults Mansoor out.

Roode and Ziggler go after Omos and the giant gets rid of Roode, leaving Styles to Phenomenal Forearm Ziggler for the elimination. Zayn tries to rally the remaining Smackdown names but yells at Ricochet, leaving Ford and Dawkins to toss him out. Omos gets rid of Azeez, who pulls Styles out despite Omos’ protests. Crews is out next and we’re down to Omos, Dawkins, Ford, Cesaro and Ricochet. Cesaro rallies the troops to go after Omos, earning himself an elimination. There go Dawkins and Ford, leaving us with Ricochet vs. Omos. That doesn’t last long either as Omos tosses him out for the win at 10:38.

Rating: C. This was ALL about Omos, who threw out about half of the field and dominated throughout. It worked for Andre and even if Omos isn’t quite there, it was a nice performance. Omos is someone who works well in this kind of a spot, even if this had absolutely NOTHING to do with the Rock.

Raw – 3
Smackdown – 1

Post match Styles goes for the pizza but Ford kicks him in the head and throws it into the crowd.

Classic Rock Moment: winning the 2000 Royal Rumble, even if Big Show really won.

We look at the pre-show match.

RKBro (Raw) vs. Usos (Smackdown)

Riddle starts fast with an armbar attempt on Jimmy but gets stacked up for two and the break. A headbutt just makes Riddle mad and he grabs a spinning gutwrench suplex to send Jey flying. Orton comes in and we hear about his hear in Ohio Valley Wrestling for a bit of a rarity. The threat of an RKO sends Jimmy bailing to the floor so it’s off to Jey, who stomps Orton down in the corner.

That just earns Jey a punch to the nose (simple, yet effective) and a trip to the floor, allowing Riddle to hit the springboard Floating Bro. A drop onto the barricade cuts Riddle off though and it’s back to Jimmy for the suicide dive. We slow things down a bit with Jey hammering away in the corner until Riddle manages a kick to the head. That’s way too soon for a hot tag to Orton though and Jimmy is back in with a chinlock.

Riddle fights up and manages a Bro To Sleep (which doesn’t make anything close to full contact), allowing Orton to come back in to clean house. Snap powerslams drop the Usos and Jey gets belly to back dropped onto the announcers’ table. Not to be outdone, Jimmy gets the same as McAfee is losing it even more than usual. Back in and the hanging DDT hits Jey but he’s fine enough to block the RKO.

Riddle is up again and kicks Jey in the head before nailing Jimmy with a running forearm. Jey manages to kick Riddle down for two and the pop up Samoan drop gets two. There’s a superkick to Riddle and a double superkick to Orton. The double superkick from either side gets two on Riddle, who kicks out and stays rigid for a weird moment. Riddle’s enziguri gets him out of trouble though and Orton gets a blind tag. Jimmy doesn’t notice though and his Superfly Splash is pulled into the RKO to give Orton the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B. Two of the best teams in WWE have a good match when they are given about fifteen minutes on a big stage. Sometimes these things write themselves and that was the case here, as Orton even managed to get in the cool RKO that he hits in these important matches. Another solid match on the show in what shouldn’t be a surprise at all. Now just do it again for the titles.

Raw – 4
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania XXVIII. I’d say that counts, though it’s still hard to believe Cena lost.

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce wait for Vince McMahon in his office. Vince comes back…and the egg is gone. The middle management goons are sent to find out who did it, saying if they don’t find out tonight, Vince will find out himself on Raw.

Video on Xia Li, the Protector, in comic book form. Yeah this was too cool to work and it never went anywhere.

Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women

Raw: Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan, Carmella, Queen Zelina
Smackdown: Sasha Banks, Shayna Baszler, Shotzi, Toni Storm, Natalya

Zelina is still a queen and Ripley is half of the Women’s Tag Team Titles with Nikki Ash, which mean a grand total of nothing (Zelina and Carmella would win them the next night on Raw). Toni Storm (as announced in a completely necessary tweet earlier in the day) starts with Carmella, who drops Storm with a right hand. Hold on though as Carmella hands it off to Zelina before heading outside to put on her protective mask. It takes forever to put the mask on so Carmella has Zelina do it, allowing Storm to grab a rollup for the pin.

Belair and Banks come in for a Wrestlemania rematch but Shotzi tags herself in. A quick backsplash gets two on Belair but she’s right back up to knock Shotzi silly. Belair’s jumping splash gets two so Morgan comes in for a middle rope….uh, something, and a near fall. Natalya comes in for two off a snap suplex and a pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. The step over basement dropkick gives Natalya two more but it’s off to Ripley to freshen things up.

Natalya doesn’t seem to mind and brings Baszler in for a double suplex. The jumping stomp to Baszler’s arm is blocked though and the slugout is on. Ripley has to fight out of an armbar as well as the Kirifuda Clutch, allowing her to stomp on Baszler’s head. Shotzi saves Baszler from the Riptide though and everything breaks down. Ripley breaks out of another choke and it’s a double tag to give us Belair vs. Banks.

Belair tries the power but gets pulled straight into the Bank Statement. That’s broken up so Banks sends her face first into the middle buckle, setting up a tornado DDT for two on Belair. Back up and Zelina tags herself in so Belair launches her at Banks for two more. No one will tag Banks so she has to block Zelina’s Code Red. Banks tags herself in and flips Zelina over into a cutter for the pin. Morgan comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence of her own until Oblivion connects to get rid of Storm.

Baszler comes in to choke Morgan and even kicks Ripley off the apron to prevent a tag (that’s smart). It’s off to Shotzi for a weird looking splash, followed by Banks’ frog splash to eliminate Morgan. Ripley comes in and muscles Banks up for a delayed suplex and a near fall. A missile dropkick sends Banks flying into the corner but Shotzi comes in off a blind tag. Shotzi offers a distraction so Baszler can come in with a knee to the face to pin Ripley, leaving Belair vs. Natalya, Shotzi, Banks and Baszler.

Belair comes in and suplexes Natalya for two before firing off the shoulders in the corner. Baszler’s distraction lets Natalya hit a powerbomb out of the corner for two and it’s off to Banks. Shotzi gets into it with Banks and pulls her to the floor where Banks gets counted out to make it 3-1.

Natalya comes in and Sharpshooters Belair, who rolls Natalya into Baszler for the break. A rollup finishes Natalya to make it 2-1, with Baszler coming in next. The Kirifuda Clutch is countered into a release Glam Slam to get rid of Baszler and it’s Shotzi vs. Belair. Shotzi grabs a choke in the corner and a faceplant drops Belair again. The running hip attack in the ropes gets two on Belair, who sends Shotzi into the corner and hits the KOD for the pin/win at 23:46.

Rating: C-. Well that was ridiculous. The last five minutes of this was Belair doing her best Super Cena impression, as she ran through three people on her own (four if you count getting rid of Banks). The match wasn’t anything special otherwise, as the Belair vs. Banks segment was the only thing worth seeing. This felt long until the ending, when it became one head shaking moment after another. Storm was trying and got a bit of a run, but this was all about making Belair look strong and to say they went overboard would be an understatement.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 1

Classic Rock Moment: The Rock is at the first Smackdown on FOX and rips on Baron Corbin/hangs out with Becky Lynch.

Paul Heyman knows nothing about the missing egg but thinks those people from BROOKLYN might have had something to do with it. That’s not what he is being asked about though: what about Brock Lesnar’s suspension being lifted soon? Uh, Heyman doesn’t want to talk about that either.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Big E. Last month, Big E. cashed in Money In The Bank to become the new Raw World Champion. The New Day celebrated because they’re a brotherhood, but Reigns said they were no Bloodline. Reigns broke Woods’ King Of The Ring crown and now it’s time for a clash between World Champions.

Big E. (Raw) vs. Roman Reigns (Smackdown)

Paul Heyman is here too as we hear about their time together in FCW. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere, meaning it’s off to another staredown. Big E. shoves him a bit and Reigns bails to the floor, where Heyman lists off some Anoa’i family members at the table. Back in and Reigns hits the jumping clothesline for two before stomping away rather hard.

An elbow drops Reigns and Big E. gets to talk a bit of trash to set up the missed apron splash. Big E. comes up favoring his knee and you know Reigns is happy with that. Back in and the chinlock goes on for a bit until Big E. powers up for the break. You don’t do that to Reigns, who boots Big E. down for two more. Big E. is sent outside again as Reigns is getting frustrated and growling at the crowd. A reversed whip into the steps puts Reigns in trouble for a change and some belly to bellies make it worse back inside.

The Warrior Splash connects but Big E. charges into a Samoan drop for two. Reigns fires off the corner clotheslines until Big E. Rock Bottoms him out of said corner for two of his own. The Stretch Muffler has Reigns in trouble so he powers up into a sitout powerbomb to rock Big E. again. A Rock Bottom gets two more as they’re sticking with the big shots here. Two Superman Punches only keep Big E. down for a few seconds so Reigns hits a third…but Big E. is back up before the spear can even launch.

Reigns is sent to the apron for the spear out to the floor but comes right back in with his own spear (minus through the ropes) for a rather near fall. They take their time getting up, with Reigns talking about how Big E. doesn’t deserve to be here. The guillotine is broken up but Big E. tries another spear through the ropes and gets caught in the choke. Reigns gets it on again back inside, only to muscle Reigns up into the Big Ending for two.

They head outside again, with Big E. fired up this time as he sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table. A posting and ram into the barricade have Reigns in more trouble but he’s fine enough to send Big E. knees first into the steps. A Superman Punch off the steps lets Reigns kick the knee out and hit a spear for the pin at 21:56.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going and could have had a few minutes cut out, but this was a heck of a fight. The problem here though was there was no reason to believe Reigns would lose. Big E. is great, but winning the title via Money in the Bank makes him feel a step beneath Reigns, in addition to the fact that Reigns already feels like a bigger star than anyone else at the moment. Big E. was trying here, but you know Reigns getting pinned is going to be a huge moment, not something in a stand alone show like this one.

Raw – 5
Smackdown – 2

Overall Rating: B-. This show is going to depend on how you look at it. While the wrestling was mostly good, with the main event and men’s Survivor Series match carrying it, the biggest problem is NOTHING HAPPENED. Raw dominated the head to head competition and there was nothing on here that I felt like I needed to see. Reigns is still the unstoppable force and whoever got the red shirts this year had a strong night. What else is there to say about the wrestling with non-existent stakes?

Then you have everything else and it was just sad. The Rock obsession was cool and made sense, but without him actually having anything to do with the show the impact kind of falls apart. I know he’s busy, but if he isn’t going to be there, maybe don’t focus on him so much. The egg stuff was stupid, though I can’t fault WWE for trying to make money and it was relatively short.

Overall, as has been the case for a long time, there was enough good to pretty good action to make the show a decent watch, but there is absolutely nothing from a storyline perspective. The Battle For Brand Supremacy stuff worked for a few years but now WWE has given up on it meaning anything, so why should I care about what they’re doing? Good enough show, but totally unimportant.

Ratings Comparison

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Damian Priest

Original: C+
Redo: C

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B+
Redo: B+

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Original: B-
Redo: B

Battle Royal

Original: C
Redo: C

Usos vs. RKBro

Original: C+
Redo: B

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Original: C-
Redo: C-

Big E. vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B
Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Oh yeah this is about as similar as it gets.

 

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Survivor Series 2007 (2022 Redo): A Little Top Heavy

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1998 (2012 Redo): This Show Keeps Going Screwy

Survivor Series 1998
Date: November 15, 1998
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 21,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is what you call a one idea show as the entire show (almost) is dedicated to a tournament to crown a new world champion. Austin got robbed of the title and then wouldn’t count a win as guest referee in a title match, so tonight there’s a big tournament to determine the new champion. Also the Corporation now exists to make sure Austin doesn’t win. There’s also talk of someone joining the Corporation tonight as the Corporate Champion and the new top soldier for Vince. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of the people in the tournament talking about wanting to be champion.

I’ve always loved the theme song to this show. I did when I was a kid and I have it on my iPod today.

JR and the King talk about a big brawl that happened on Heat. They don’t actually say WHO WAS IN IT, but it was apparently quite a braw.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Undertaker

BYE

Kane

BYE

Rock

HHH

Goldust

Ken Shamrock

Mankind

???

Jeff Jarrett

Al Snow

X-Pac

Steven Regal

Steve Austin

Big Boss Man

This is a tournament where you could have easily cut out the first round and made it an eight man tournament but I guess they needed to fill in the time.

Here’s Vince to open things up. If I remember right Undertaker and Kane recently shattered his ankle so he’s hopping to the ring. Vince does a big intro for Mankind who is Corporate but is more of a comedic putz who Vince manipulates to do whatever he wants. He’s also Hardcore Champion.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Mankind vs. ???

Vince gives a LONG speech about the mystery opponent and it’s….Duane Gill. He was a jobber who injured his shoulder and was gone for two years to WCW. The fans thought it would be Shawn Michaels and are ticked off by the reveal. Then again it’s meant to be a joke so it’s not that big of a deal. The pyro scares Gill to death ala Eric Young. Gill is wearing a Pasadena Chargers shirt, which is an elementary school football team he coaches. Mankind is in a tuxedo and wins in 30 seconds with the double arm DDT. It would seem that a conspiracy is afoot.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Jacqueline jumped Sable. This gives us ANGRY Sable which is more funny than interesting or intimidating.

WWF World Title Tournament: Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow

This is Debra’s PPV debut. The winner gets Mankind and the first round matches only have ten minute time limits. Snow chases Debra around on the floor but hits a flip dive onto Jarrett off the stairs in a cool spot. We head inside and I think a bell has rung but I’m not sure. Jeff hotshots Al onto the top rope to take over but Snow is looking all psycho. Snow comes back and takes Jeff down before going up.

A guillotine legdrop misses and a dropkick takes Al down for two. Snow comes back with a crucifix for another two and counters a spinebuster into a DDT for two. They collide and here’s Debra with the Head. Snow goes to find it but gets Jeff’s guitar instead. Jeff finds Head but the referee gets the guitar out of the ring. During the distraction, Snow steals Head and KO’s Jarrett with it to advance.

Rating: C+. This is a good idea: take two talented guys and let them have a match. What more do you need to do? The ending was a little screwy but they got there on a smooth wrestling match. When Russo could be held back from making things too crazy, late 98 WWF had more than enough talent to put on fun matches like this. Good stuff.

WWF World Title Tournament: Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man

They’re flying through this so far. Boss Man goes after Austin in the aisle but you don’t win a fist fight against Austin in 1998. Austin sends him into the steps and we head in for the bell. Vince is watching in the back as Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle finger elbow for two. Boss Man hits Austin low to come back but it just gets a warning. After a quick chinlock there’s the running crotch attack to Austin’s back and an uppercut for two. Austin makes his comeback and stomps a mudhole in the corner. We head to the floor and Boss Man hits Austin in the ribs with a nightstick for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing of note to see here but this was more about story than the match. Did anyone expect Austin to get eliminated by Boss Man? This is the kind of roll Boss Man was good at: enhancing a story and taking something out of the bigger name before we get to the important stuff with the bigger names later on. There’s nothing wrong with that and it kept him employed for years.

Vince smiles at the ending as Austin gets beaten down by the stick some more. He says the night is young.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

This is one of those matches that doesn’t need to exist. The winner gets Austin and X-Pac is European Champion coming in. Regal is a REAL MAN’S MAN here. Lawler sings the song as Regal comes to the ring in a funny bit. Either that or the audio messed up there for a bit. Pac kicks him down and suplexes Regal for two. Two of those fast legdrops get another two on Regal but the Bronco Buster misses.

Regal puts on an abdominal stretch on the mat as things slow down a bit. Regal charges into the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip but he rolls out of that too and hits a slingshot to send Pac flying. Off to a surfboard stretch as things slow down again. This is probably the longest match so far and it’s not even four minutes in yet. A gutwrench suplex puts Pac down and it’s off to a headscissors.

Pac rolls that over and gets a freaky looking hold where he was on his back with his legs by Regal’s head but he was cranking on the legs in a Sharpshooter position. That gets him nowhere but it looked good. Regal puts Pac on the top and hits a butterfly superplex for two. Back to another rib/arm hold as the fans are getting a little restless. Back up and they collide in the corner before X-Pac kicks his head off for two. The Bronco Buster hits this time but Pac goes up and gets crotched, falling to the floor. They fight for awhile out there and it’s a double countout to give Austin a bye.

Rating: C-. Much like the other three matches, this didn’t need to exist. The match was ok and one of the longer matches of the night (about eight minutes) but it doesn’t need to happen. This is a match you could easily take out and give to a longer match later on. I mean, did ANYONE see these two as threats to the title? Of course not.

Vince isn’t happy with that and insists on overtime. It’s sudden death too, making it just like every other wrestling match on the show tonight. That goes nowhere though as X-Pac walks to the back.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is IC Champion coming in. Ken starts with a leg lariat and pounds away at Goldie. Goldust misses a lariat but a second attempt connects to shift the momentum. Shamrock clotheslines him out of the corner for two as this is starting very slowly so far. Off to a reverse chinlock followed by a Russian legsweep for two. A regular chinlock follows that up but Goldust makes a comeback. That lasts about four seconds as Shamrock avoids a charge in the corner. A powerbomb from Goldie is countered and the referee blocks his Shattered Dreams attempt. It’s rana, belly to belly and ankle lock for the tap out win for Ken.

Rating: D-. This was a long and uninteresting squash. Goldust was at a weird point here as he didn’t really do anything and wasn’t weird or creepy anymore. He was just kind of there as a guy who used to be good but in this match he could have been Barry Horowitz and been as much of a threat to Shamrock. Terribly dull stuff here.

Austin has refused medical attention but Cole thinks he’ll be here later in the tournament.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: The Rock vs. HHH

Oh wait HHH is hurt so we’ve got a replacement.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: The Rock vs. Big Boss Man

Roc literally immediately rolls Boss Man up and wins in three seconds, setting a new WWF record.

Here are the updated brackets for the quarterfinals:

Undertaker

Kane

Rock

Ken Shamrock

Mankind

Al Snow

Steve Austin

BYE

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Undertaker vs. Kane

Taker has Bearer here and is heel but he’s against the other heel faction headed by Vince. Naturally they were working together all along but that wouldn’t be revealed for about seven months. Kane pounds on Taker in the corner and not a lot of selling is going on. Kane kicks Taker down and clotheslines him out to the floor. The masked one stays on the offense on the floor but gets dropped face first onto the barricade.

Back in and Taker slugs away but there still isn’t much selling going on. Kane powerslams Taker down but Taker sits up to avoid an elbow. Kane sits up as well and we get more punching. Taker gets a boot up in the corner and starts working on Kane’s leg. The leg work goes on for awhile because neither guy is capable of doing anything with any kind of speed whatsoever. They get back up and it’s MORE punching. This is slow even for a Taker match to give you an indication of what I’m sitting through.

Taker gets caught in the corner with a clothesline and the top rope clothesline follows it up for two. They slug it out some more and good grief SELL SOMETHING ALREADY! Taker tries a chokeslam but gets countered into one by Kane. Bearer distracts Kane on the apron though and Taker pops up with a tombstone to eliminate Kane.

Rating: F+. This was horrible as it was clear Taker wasn’t interested in trying and Kane was only able to do so much in the first place. The match sucked as a result and things would only get worse as time went on. We would soon get into crucifixions, burials (as in dirt over bodies in graves) and demonic possessions. WRESTLING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Mankind vs. Al Snow

Mankind is still in his tuxedo. Snow jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for no cover. Mankind heads to the floor for a chair but Snow gets in a few shots to block it. A big chair shot misses Mankind against the post and Snow gets dropped on the chair to give the masked guy control. Back in and Snow grabs Head but Mankind suplexes him down to take it out of Snow’s hands. Here’s Socko (which had been stolen by Snow and wrapped around Head’s…uh…self? Mankind clotheslines Snow down but gets caught in a sitout spinebuster for two. The double arm DDT puts Snow down and the Claw finishes Snow.

Rating: D+. Another pretty worthless match but Mankind and Snow always seemed to have fun together out there. At the end of the day though, it’s Al Snow vs. Mankind in a world title tournament match so it wasn’t exactly a secret as to who was going to win. Then again that’s the problem with almost every wrestling tournament you have. Not much to see here but it could have been worse.

WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Winner gets Undertaker. Shamrock gets in a quick kick to the face but Rock clotheslines him down to take over. Ken hooks a quick suplex for two and hits a clothesline in the corner. Rock hits another clothesline to take over. Out to the floor and Rock spits water in Shamrock’s face, prompting Ken to send him into the steps. Back in and Shamrock stomps away before hitting a leg lariat to take Rock down.

A Russian legsweep gets two for Shamrock and a running knee lift sets up a chinlock. Rock comes back with right hands but here comes Boss Man. Back to the chinlock as the fans get on the Boss Man. Rock makes a quick comeback attempt but gets caught in the ankle lock. While that would make Rock tap out in a few seconds back in the day, he’s a good guy now so he fights to a rope.

Double clotheslines put both guys down and Rock starts taking over. Boss Man tries to interfere but it allows Rock to hit Shamrock low. There’s the People’s Elbow but it only gets two. The Rock Bottom is countered but Boss Man throws in the nightstick to Shamrock. Rock intercepts it though and KO’s Ken to make the final four.

Rating: C-. Another not that great match here but it was better than most of what we’ve had so far. Shamrock is another guy like Boss Man who is a great soldier but was never going to get much higher than he was here. He certainly had a better chance at it than Boss Man, but that’s not saying all that much.

The final four are now set:

Undertaker

The Rock

Mankind

Steve Austin

Bearer says Undertaker will win.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacqueline

Jackie is defending. Shane McMahon is referee after being demoted by Vince. Jackie kicks Sable down and, wait for it, runs her mouth. Sable comes back with a TKO but Mero pulls her out at two. Sable kicks Mero low and powerbombs him on the floor. Jackie decks Sable and runs her mouth some more. Did I mention I REALLY don’t like Jackie? Sable counters a tornado DDT and powerbombs Jackie for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. It came, it went, it wasn’t any good at all. People actually cared Sable, but the title became a prop very quickly. There’s just nothing else to say here.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: Mankind vs. Steve Austin

Austin is banged up from the nightstick attack earlier but he goes right at Mankind to start. He rips Mankind’s shoe off and whacks him in the head with it as Vince is wheeled out. The distraction lets Mankind take over and hit a running knee in the corner. There’s the Thesz Press but Mankind escapes the Stunner. Mankind runs out of the ring and towards the entrance but the Stooges bring him back.

Foley sends Austin into the steps and then into the crowd as we’re firmly in brawl mode here. Back to ringside and Austin goes face first into the steps. Off to a reverse chinlock in the ring on Austin but Stone Cold makes a comeback. They clothesline each other down and Vince is getting worried. Austin rams into him and stomps a mudhole but Mankind goes out and gets a chair. That gets kicked into his face but Mankind hits the double arm onto the chair for two.

A piledriver on the chair is broken up because it would have destroyed Austin’s neck which was already in pieces. The Stunner hits but Vince jumps out of his wheelchair and beats up the referee. Mankind loses his tuxedo pants and puts on the Claw but there’s the Stunner. Shane comes in to count the pin but stops at two and flips Austin off, opening up a BIG plot hole which was probably explained by Russo logic. Remember that it was SHANE that rehired Austin, but apparently he was working with his dad the whole time. So why rehire him? Anyway Brisco hits Austin with a chair and Mankind takes the pin to go to the finals.

Rating: C+. Definitely the best match of the night so far. It was insanely overbooked but it was certainly the best match. Imagine that: take two of the best ever and give them some time and you get the best match of the night. This also opens up the door for a surprise ending, as Austin was the favorite going into the tournament. Basically they’ve done the DiBiase master plan from Mania IV but it actually worked here.

Vince and company immediately get in the limo and leave with Austin in pursuit. Austin hijacks a car and we’ve got a chase scene.

WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: The Rock vs. Undertaker

Rock pounds away in the corner to start but Taker gets in a clothesline to the back of the head to take Rock down. We head to the floor and after being sent into the barricade, Taker knocks Rock’s head off with another clothesline. Back inside and an elbow puts Rock down before Taker chokes on the mat. An uppercut puts Rock in the ropes and Taker pounds away.

Taker charges at Rock but gets backdropped to the floor and hit in the face with a water bottle. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and Taker gets the advantage back again. They slug it out with Taker getting the advantage again before walking into a Samoan Drop. Here comes the Boss Man again as Taker sits up. Rock comes back and loads up the Elbow but Boss Man trips him up. Taker hits Boss Man for reasons of EVIL, but here’s Kane to chokeslam Rock, sending him to the finals by DQ.

Rating: D. If there have ever been two big names with worse chemistry than Rock and Undertaker, I’d like to know who they are. These two just could not have a good match together if their lives depended on it back in the Attitude Era. It never clicked no matter how many times they main evented PPVs. This didn’t work either but at least it wasn’t that long of a match.

Taker and Kane brawl everywhere.

Mankind is ready to climb his last Rock.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams doing something that I can’t remember to earn the shot. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. This is pretty messy so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.

Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. This is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. Off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown ranas Thrasher off the top.

Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Roadie finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.

Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finisher it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.

Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.

We recap Austin getting cheated out of the finals.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Vince and Shane are back and are talking with Boss Man backstage. Feeling out process to start as Lawler makes fun of Halloween Havoc going off the air earlier a few weeks prior to this. Rock gets two off a clothesline and they head to the floor quickly. Rock gets rammed into the steps and Mankind takes over. Back inside for a chinlock as the McMahons come out. JR is very annoyed at various things and he vents a bit as they come to the ring. A suplex gets Rock out of the hold and Mankind is sent outside.

Rock suplexes Mankind on the floor but he has to go after the McMahons a bit. Into the crowd we go with Rock in control. He backdrops Mankind back to ringside and we head into the ring for a Rock chinlock. Mankind fights back up and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take it back to the floor. A chair takes Rock down again and Mankind gets the steps, only to have them knocked down onto him. Rock pounds on the steps on Mankind with the chair before cracking Mankind over the head with the chair.

That gets two back in the ring but Mankind kicks Rock low to take over again. Rock is sent back to the floor for the elbow off the apron. Mankind starts taking the announce table apart as JR loses it even more. Mankind is heel for the most part coming in but he’s a sympathetic heel. A legdrop on the table mostly misses Rock but it gets two back inside. Off to the chinlock again and Rock’s comeback is cut short by a backdrop to the floor again.

Back in again and Rock hits a DDT to put both guys down. Mankind sends him to the floor AGAIN but a middle rope elbow to the floor sends the masked one through the announce table. The crash looked great if nothing else. We head back inside and the People’s Elbow gets two. A double arm DDT puts Rock down and here’s Socko. Rock hangs on in the Claw forever and comes out of it with a Rock Bottom but it only gets a delayed two. Rock puts on the Sharpshooter and Vince says ring the bell just like last year, giving Rock the title, because Rock is Corporate. He’s also the new champion.

Rating: C-. This definitely wasn’t their best performance with the constant going to the floor getting old fast. Mankind would have his day but it would take awhile to get there. This was all about the shock which shouldn’t be a shock when you think about it. All night it was assumed that Mankind was the Corporate guy, but let’s look at this.

Rock’s first match was against a corporate guy and he just happens to get the easiest pin ever. Then a corporate guy throws in a nightstick so Rock can beat another corporate guy. Then Rock wins by DQ, and now this. That’s establishing a story and giving clues instead of an illogical swerve. It’s easy to tell which is better as this is shocking, but also MAKES SENSE. This is what Russo was capable of, but we almost never got to see it.

Rock hugs the McMahons and JR erupts. Vince says the people have themselves to blame and the explanation is coming tomorrow on Raw. Mankind isn’t sure what to do. Vince brags about screwing Austin over and Shane brags a bit in general. Rock says it’s time for the fans to pucker up to him. Mankind wants to know why he lost because he never gave up. Rock hits him with the belt and here’s Austin to clean house. This set up Rock vs. Austin for the title the next night in a HUGE match which I believe set a then ratings record.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was ALL about the stories and not much about the wrestling. The matches were mostly bad with a few ok ones, but those aren’t the point. This was about Vince and Shane doing their things and getting their Corporate Champion. All of that was accomplished and this set the stage until Wrestlemania. This show doesn’t really hold up that well on its own, but in context this would have been gold.

Ratings Comparison

Mankind vs. Duane Gill

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D

Redo: C-

X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

Original: B

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Original: D+

Redo: D-

The Rock vs. Big Boss Man

Original: A (For Are you kidding me)

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: F+

Mankind vs. Al Snow

Original: D

Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Sable vs. Jacqueline

Original: D

Redo: D-

Mankind vs. Steve Austin

Original: C+

Redo: C+

The Rock vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

New Age Outlaws vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry vs. The Headbangers

Original: F

Redo: F

Mankind vs. The Rock

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Man what was I thinking with some of those ratings? I had no idea what I was doing back then and it shows.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/07/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1998-deadly-game-the-tournament-not-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Monday Night Raw – October 4, 1999: Woof

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 1999
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on No Mercy and at least the top of the show is starting to come together. Last week saw Steve Austin named as #1 contender to face HHH for the title at the pay per view, though that might have been overshadowed by This Is Your Life Rock. That should be leading somewhere this week so let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

New Age Outlaws vs. Acolytes vs. Kane/X-Pac vs. Hollys

Non-title elimination match. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to Gunn press slamming Hardcore for two. They go outside with Gunn being sent knees first into the steps…and they’re both counted out for a double elimination at 1:38. That leaves X-Pac to clothesline Bradshaw but he’s quickly whipped hard into the corner for two.

X-Pac fights up but doesn’t want to tag. That’s fine with Kane, who comes in to clean house anyway. Kane even dropkicks Faarooq, who is right back up with a piledriver. That’s shrugged off and X-Pac is back in with a Bronco Buster to Bradshaw. The chokeslam hits Faarooq but the Clothesline From Bradshaw finishes X-Pac out of nowhere for the pin at 4:41.

Rating: C. So why were the Outlaws, as in the reigning champions, involved here? The story seems to be about Kane and X-Pac and the Acolytes, which makes the Outlaws (and the Hollys) feel totally unnecessary here. In other words, it’s a bunch of stuff happening that doesn’t make the match better but is there anyway, because reasons.

Post match X-Pac is ticked off and walks out on Kane.

Over the weekend at the UK exclusive Rebellion pay per view, the British Bulldog threw a trashcan and hit Stephanie McMahon by mistake. Then he powerslammed Chyna, beat X-Pac, and interfered in the main event.

Here is the British Bulldog, who blames Vince McMahon for Stephanie getting injured. Vince screwed him out of his title shot in the United Kingdom and made his own country boo him (JR disagrees). Bulldog doesn’t care about the UK or the USA because all he wants is the WWF Title. Therefore, he wants to beat up the Rock at No Mercy but here is Chyna to interrupt instead. She wants to see if his bite is as bad as his bark, which is apparently a challenge.

Mankind goes to see the Rock and thinks it’s time to end the Connection. Rock agrees, but it turns out he’s on the phone and had no idea what Mankind said in the first place.

Test says Stephanie McMahon has head trauma and post concussion syndrome. He’s as emotional about this as you would expect.

Mankind talks to Stevie Richards and has an idea of how to fix things with the Rock.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young attack Ivory and rip off some of her clothes.

New Brood vs. Edge And Christian

Match #2 of the Terri Invitational Tournament (Edge And Christian are up 1-0), with Terri on commentary. Edge hurricanranas Matt down to start and Christian comes in to slam Jeff a few times. Jeff manages to send Edge outside for a beating from Matt, who drops him throat first across the top. The Swanton gives Jeff two but Matt’s Lionsault hits raised knees. That’s enough for Christian to come in and clean house and Matt is sent outside. Edge spears Jeff out of the air for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: B-. it was a case where they didn’t have much time but what we got did work. That’s the series in a nutshell, as they’re working as hard as they can but there is only so much that can be done in so little time. Hopefully that changes, because you can certainly see something in there, which is kind of the point of the series. Or to let Lawler hit on Terri. Maybe both.

X-Pac challenges the Acolytes to a four corners match at No Mercy with Kane involved too. As in a singles match. This was around the time when I got very sick of X-Pac and I’m remembering why that was the case.

Here is HHH for a chat. He can’t wait for thirteen days before he gets his hands on Steve Austin again and wants to take him out for good. For now, he wants to talk to Jim Ross. Yeah forget about the broken arm thing, as JR can even sit down in a chair (uh oh). We see an interview from last Friday, with JR talking to Austin, who is not medically cleared to wrestle yet. Austin is working hard to rehab his knee in time for the match and no one is stopping him.

Back in the arena, HHH asks JR what Austin thinks of him (as in HHH). Lawler knows this isn’t going to go well as HHH asks JR again. JR: “He thinks you’re an a******.” HHH asks what JR thinks of him and it’s pretty similar. Lawler: “Well, thanks for being here JR.” The beatdown is on and Lawler basically calls JR a moron. Referees break it up after some good stomps.

Jeff Jarrett, with Ivory, accepts Moolah and Mae Young’s challenge for tonight. He cuts Ivory off in the process, as you might expect.

Mankind plays Yahtzee with actors from the show G vs. E.

Michael Cole takes JR’s place on commentary and we see the beatdown again.

Jeff Jarrett/Ivory vs. Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young

Miss Kitty is here with Jarrett and Moolah/Young’s music doesn’t work. Actually hang on as Jarrett throws Kitty (in a dress) to get beaten up in his place. Kitty manages to crawl away and bring Ivory in so Moolah throws some forearms. It’s quickly back to Kitty, with Ivory sending her in for a rollup to give Moolah the pin at 2:41. This was certainly a thing that happened and it went as you would have expected.

Post match Ivory beats up Young and Jarrett Figure Fours Kitty.

Mankind gets his makeup done and has a surprise for Rock tonight.

GTV shows Droz vomiting in D’Lo Brown’s bag.

Here is Mankind, with the G vs. E stars. Mankind plugs his appearance on the show before saying that he doesn’t like Val Venis grabbing his testicles. Mankind: “I didn’t like it when I was an altar boy and I didn’t like it last week.” With that out of his way, he teases another special guest but cue the Rock to interrupt. Rock brings up the idea of the team and suggests that he never wanted to team with Mankind…who cuts him off, saying he’s going to rededicate his career and life to this tag team. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a three time WWF Champion or the Hardcore Legend.

No, he wants to be remembered as half of the greatest tag team of all time. Mankind says that while Stephanie McMahon and Test’s wedding has been postponed, this was like a marriage right here! Rock isn’t sure on that but we pause so they can chant his name. Mankind doesn’t want to end up like the Briscos, the Funks or Skip and Zip. They should be the Three Musketeers, because he loves American history. Rock tells him what he can do with a sword…but here is Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho calls this unfunny and thinks Rock should accept the marriage proposal, because he would make a perfect wife in a male/male marriage. He thinks Rock might be a little….and he shakes his hand. After a fan jumps into the ring and is quickly dispatched (Rock tells Jericho to keep his people out of the ring), Rock tells Jericho to know his role and shut his mouth. Two months ago, Jericho was down south beating someone named Juventud. Rock isn’t impressed, so he can face Jericho tonight. Mankind tries to do Rock’s catchphrases and it doesn’t go well.

Post break, Mankind, with Stevie Richards, is asked about a match tonight but gets jumped by the Dudleys. Mankind is hurt.

Chyna vs. British Bulldog

Chyna pulls him outside to start the brawl in a hurry, with Bulldog being sent into the steps. A hard whip sends Bulldog into the corner…and Jeff Jarrett runs in to jump Chyna for the DQ (with something involving coffee) at 1:16.

Post match Bulldog threatens to powerslam Chyna if HHH doesn’t come out here and give him a title shot. Then he powerslams her anyway.

The Dudley Boyz say that Stevie Richards and Mankind stole the Rock N Sock jacket from them and that’s breaking a Dudley rule.

Dudley Boyz vs. Stevie Richards/Mankind

Richards is dressed as Dude Love. The bell rings and here is Val Venis to distract Mankind. The fight goes up onto the stage as Venis joins commentary. Mankind dives onto Venis and gets beaten up by Bubba, who walks into a double arm DDT back inside. Venis gets on the apron and gets the Mandible Claw from Mankind, leaving Richards to walk into the 3D for the pin at 2:40.

Post match Venis leaves with Mr. Rocko.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. He isn’t happy with the British Bulldog, but he only wants an apology for Stephanie McMahon. That’s a demand and here is Bulldog again, as he’s all over this show. Bulldog won’t apologize, so Vince wants him in the ring for the beating. Nah, as Bulldog is taking the night off instead.

The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho and Rock suggests turning him sideways. Hughes sneaks in from behind to jump Rock and Jericho comes in to…get clotheslined down. Rock misses a charge into the corner and it’s the bulldog into the Lionsault for two. The spinwheel kick drops Rock again and a suplex into the Arrogant Cover gets two more. A butterfly backbreaker gives Jericho another near fall and we hit the chinlock.

That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex but Jericho pulls him into the Walls. Rock makes it to the rope and they go outside, with Jericho sending him into the barricade. Back in and the lights go out (doesn’t seem to be intentional) and Jericho hits him with the bell for two. The referee gets bumped and it’s a double collision to leave the two of them down as well. The Rock Bottom onto a chair gives Rock the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C+. It was nice to see a match get some time around here and it made for a bit of a change of pace. At the same time though, it’s not exactly anything memorable or impactful, with Rock getting to beat up an up and coming heel. That being said, it’s still better than more British Bulldog.

Post match British Bulldog runs in for the brawl with referees breaking it up. Vince McMahon comes out to send Bulldog back inside for a beating from from Rock. The show ends but we get an Extra Attitude feature, with HHH running into beat Rock down. Mankind runs in for the save and it’s a People’s Elbow to HHH. That’s not enough though as Mankind gets to join in for a double People’s Elbow to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C-. As usual, the wrestling is hardly the best part of the show, but rather all of the energy and everything going nuts. That being said, there are a lot of weak points throughout the show, with stuff like the obsession with the British Bulldog and the Moolah/Mae Young stuff being pretty hard to take. Stevie Richards having a fairly prominent role is kind of funny as he’s just a lovable goof, but he’s also not out there every few seconds. There are good pieces here, but they desperately need to get some better focus. And less Bulldog, as he’s really not that interesting.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Velocity – June 8, 2002: Enough With The Tough

Velocity
Date: June 8, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Al Snow

This popped up on the Vault and while it’s billed as the Full Episode, it would appear that something has been taken out. That doesn’t leave much, but it’s a rather different era from the company and a rather forgotten one at that, so it’s definitely worth a look. This is only the third episode of the series so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. My that’s a lot of green.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Orton has only been around for about a month and a half here. Test jumps him from behind to start and hammers away in the corner as we get the opening bell. Orton is back up with a dropkick to the back but Test gives him a running clothesline in the corner. Test does it again but Orton manages a quick DDT. A high crossbody gets two, only for Test to grab the pumphandle slam for two. Orton’s Overdrive gets the same but Test is back with a Roll of the Dice (I believe he called it the Test Drive) for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: C+. This actually turned into a decent match, with Test being on a roll at the moment and picking up another win. Orton was still just the big prospect and had a very long way to go, but you could see the potential in there. It would take time for him to put it together, but the way commentary was hyping him up made his future pretty clear.

We look back at Ivory getting annoyed at Tough Enough winners Linda Miles and Jackie Gayda introducing themselves to Vince McMahon. Vince put them in a match on Velocity, marking the only time that he would ever mention the show.

Godfather vs. Hugh Morrus

Godfather does not look happy to be out here and jumps Morrus in the corner to start. Morrus shrugs that off and hammers away, only to get shoved HARD out of the corner in a great visual. A running clothesline gives Godfather two and Morrus’ powerslam gets the same. Godfather goes to get the bell, which distracts the referee (one Teddy Long) enough for Godfather to hit Morrus with his cane for the win at 3:18.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the point is in having a heel Godfather, as the whole point was him being the fun, energetic opening match star. Instead he just looks like he’s doing something of an Undertaker knockoff and that makes for a less than thrilling match. Then again he’s in there with Morrus so it’s only going to be so good in the first place.

We look at Edge having a heck of a cage match with Kurt Angle but injuring his shoulder in the process. That puts him out of the King Of The Ring and Chris Jericho comes in to mock him, demanding that Edge raise his hand for winning their match via forfeit. Instead Edge tried to fight and got beaten up even worse. Jericho crushed his bad shoulder on the steps with a chair until the Big Valbowski made the save…and the show just ends abruptly mid brawl. This is billed as the “full show” but there is quite a bit missing. Anyway, Valbowski throws Jericho out and stands tall.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Funaki kicks away to start but makes the mistake of turning his back on Guerrero. That earns a ram into the corner and a dropkick to the back. Funaki’s comeback is quickly cut off but he sends Guerrero outside for a slingshot dive. Back in and an enziguri gives Funaki two but Guerrero backbreakers him for the same. The brainbuster finishes for Guerrero at 4:35.

Rating: C+. As usual, you can take two talented wrestlers and let them do their thing. It’s not like this match was ever going to be anything more than two guys doing moves for a few minutes. Funaki could work well with anyone and the same was true of Guerrero, who just happened to be a much bigger star.

Jackie Gayda gives Linda Miles a pep talk before the match with Ivory. Gayda would love to be in her corner, which works for Miles.

We look at HHH and Hulk Hogan winning a battle royal to become the new #1 contender to the World Title. HHH beat Hogan later in the night to get the title shot. They posed after the match and got beaten up by Undertaker (the reigning champion) and Kurt Angle (who is certainly NOT bald).

We look at Linda and Jackie winning Tough Enough.

Linda Miles vs. Ivory

Jackie Gayda is here with Miles. Ivory grabs a headlock takeover to start fast so Miles reverses into a headscissors. Back up and a running shoulder puts Ivory down but she sends Miles throat first into the bottom rope. Miles fires off some clotheslines and a suplex before going up…where Gayda shoves her down. A facebuster gives Ivory the pin at 3:54.

Rating: D+. I remember watching this show as it aired and Gayda turning on Miles was obvious the second she asked to be in Miles’ corner. They were barely trying to hide it and that doesn’t make for a good moment here. Throw in that Miles was still a rookie and would never get much better and there was hardly much to see here.

Overall Rating: C. This was only the third episode of the show so WWE still cared about it for the time being, which was apparent here. This had some big enough names involved and a turn at the end, though there is only so much you can get out of a show like this one. That being said, it’s almost a breath of fresh air just to see something out of the blue like this. I have no idea why it was cut off, but the other half is easily available to find elsewhere.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 30, 1999: It’s Short But It’s Long

Smackdown
Date: September 30, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re coming off an all time Raw segment with This Is Your Life Rock, which is not likely to mean much around here. Instead, we’re likely going to be hearing more about the British Bulldog costing the Rock his WWF Title shot and then attacking champion HHH. That should be enough for the big story as we’re coming up on No Mercy as well. Let’s get to it.

Here is Monday Night Raw if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. Road Dogg

Billy Gunn is here with the Dogg and Mr. Hughes is here with Jericho. The bell rings and they brawl into the crowd as the Hollys join commentary. Dogg sends him back to ringside for a whip into the steps and hammers away inside. The referee doesn’t like the violence and gets tossed to the floor, which is enough for Dogg to get disqualified.

Post match Gunn throws in a table and Dogg tries to put Jericho through it (as payback for an attack a few weeks ago). The Hollys jump him from behind though and Dogg gets put through the table again.

Vince McMahon isn’t happy with HHH and fines him $25,000 for his actions on Raw. In addition, he’s going to defend the WWF Title against the British Bulldog TONIGHT. Oh and The Rock will be the guest referee.

Here is Mankind (in the Rock N Sock Connection jacket) for a chat. He talks about This Is Your Life Rock and thanks the DOZENS AND DOZENS of fans for making it work. There is one person who messed it up by taking something that didn’t belong to him though, so Val Venis needs to get out here.

Cue Venis, who says hurry up because he has two beautiful women in the back and it isn’t his birthday. Mankind: “Val, I know what you’ve got in your pants and I want it.” Actually he needs it, which has Venis rather confused. Mankind is willing to turn his back so just whip it out and give it to him. Cole: “This is your life Mick Foley!” Venis says he doesn’t swing that way so Mankind describes it (Cole: “MICK THIS IS NETWORK TV!”) and says put it in his hand or he’ll put it in Venis’ mouth.

Venis didn’t know Mankind was like this but he doesn’t putt from that side of the green. Mankind has no idea what that means, but we see the GTV segment of Venis taking Mr. Rocko out of the trash and putting it in his pants. Venis realizes he got caught but says it was a joke for all the boys in the back. Mankind says neither he nor the Rock appreciates that and he goes for Venis’ pants. Venis bails and offers to go get the sock for him (thankfully acknowledging that he’s changed his pants since Monday). Mankind is a bizarre man but he can somehow make this stuff work.

HHH and Chyna are looking for Vince McMahon. During the break they find Vince and Shane, with HHH saying Vince is trying to find ways to screw him every week. HHH will find new ways around it ever week too.

The Rock thinks this show has turned into Let’s Make A Deal and Vince McMahon is Monty Hall. He’s fine with being the guest referee tonight and be completely unbiased because HHH can put his nose….oh you know by now.

Edge and Christian vs. New Brood

Gangrel is here with the New Brood and this is the first match in the Terri Runnels Invitational Tournament. Cue Terri Runnels to join commentary as Lawler thinks this should be called the Ryder Cup, which takes some time for Cole to get. The camera stays on Terri and Lawler for a bit as Terri explains the tournament: it’s really a best of five series for her managerial services and $100,000.

Jeff knocks Christian down and it’s off to Matt for a suplex into the Swanton for two (that’s so weird to see). Christian and Matt collide for a double down and Edge comes in to clean house. The Downward Spiral drops Matt for two as Lawler tries to say the tournament’s name without sounding dirty. Matt is knocked outside and a Doomsday suplex gives Christian the pin on Jeff to go up 1-0.

Rating: B-. They didn’t have much time here but these guys work well together every time. It’s so interesting to see their early days as they’re figuring things out and Gangrel is little more than window dressing for the Hardys. Things would get a lot better and you can see the fire in all of their eyes, which is making for a promising future.

The British Bulldog is ready for the main event and wants Rock to stay out of his way.

Mankind explains the Mr. Rocko/Val Venis situation but Rock isn’t sure who Rocko or Venis are. Mankind promises to figure this out to keep the Connection alive, with Rock telling him to go do it.

European Title: Big Show vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and Droz/Prince Albert are on commentary. Show throws him down and hits a suplex as Droz is complaining about “the bookers in the back” holding himself and Albert back. Brown fights up and hits a top rope clothesline to actually drop Show. The Low Down gets two as Albert gets up to watch from ringside. Droz distracts Brown as Albert goes up and dropkicks Show for the DQ.

Post match Brown gets beaten down again until Mark Henry runs in to chase Droz off. Brown leaves Henry again, with Henry saying they need to talk. With Brown gone, Henry talks about various addictions and says he has one of them. The reality is he’s a sex addict and it’s not a joke. He’s lost friends, family, his fiance, and a lot of money as a result of this. Now his mom has to see this, along with the people who know him. Henry starts crying and talks about how he can’t stop thinking about sex. It’s time to get some professional help and he walks off. Well that’s just depressing.

Stephanie McMahon and Test look through bridal magazines. Well Test wants to watch the game but he’s there too.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

Elimination tag for the #1 contendership and Bubba Ray has stolen the Rock’s Rock N Sock Connection jacket. We cut to the back where Stevie Richards shows Mankind about the stolen jacket before cutting back to Kane beating up D-Von. Bradshaw comes in for a boot to Kane’s mask but Kane hits a running DDT.

X-Pac comes in and gets taken down with a fall away slam, only to spin kick Faarooq in the face. The Acolytes double team X-Pac…and that’s a DQ. X-Pac kicks Bubba down and it’s off to Kane for the top rope clothesline on D-Von. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bronco Buster to Bubba, followed by the chokeslam to pin D-Von.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to do much and, as usual, there was a lot going on in a single match. You had the stolen jacket, the referees being all aggressive, the stuff in the back, and the match itself. That’s all crammed into about five minutes and that’s not much time to get that much going. As usual, it would be better to just slow things down a bit, but that’s not how this era worked.

During the break, Mankind asks Bubba Ray about the jacket and tells him to come get it. He calls Mankind a freak and leaves, with Mankind not being pleased. Granted he doesn’t do anything about it, but he isn’t happy.

Here are Jeff Jarrett and Miss Kitty to say that the match with Chyna is going to be the Good Housekeeping match. That means he’s going to get to beat Chyna up with any household item he can find. Jarrett is ready to demonstrate to any woman around and calls out Cindy Margolis (who he attacked a few weeks ago), who is sitting in the crowd. He challenges Margolis and fellow actress Heather Kozar (on the upcoming UPN show Shasta McNasty) to a handicap match but here are all the women that Jarrett has attacked.

Jarrett challenges all of them and Miss Kitty doesn’t think this is a great idea. Jarrett beats up Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young but here is Chyna to make the save. The women proceed to beat the fire out of Jarrett with brooms, frying pans and everything else they can find, eventually chasing him to the back (that is so, so Memphis). Moolah and Mae jump Lawler, whose face is hilarious as he tries to get away.

Mankind admits to Rock that he misplaced the jacket, which has Rock annoyed but he’ll wear a Versace shirt instead. Mankind: “Don’t wear Versace! Don’t wear Versace!”

We actually talk to the head of security, with interviewer Terry Taylor saying this is an odd choice. He’s not happy with Steve Blackman attacking him, and then Blackman attacks him again. Yep, kind of obvious there.

Here is Mankind to call out Bubba Ray Dudley to give him the jacket back so here are the Dudleys…and I guess this is a match.

Mankind vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

I think? D-Von was in at the bell but then drops out as Val Venis is here with Mr. Rocko. Stevie Richards (dressed as Dude Love) comes in with a Stevie Kick to Bubba, who takes the jacket back. Mankind says he wants Rocko back so Venis gets in the ring (I’m assuming the match is over).

Venis says that he owes a lot of his career to Mankind doing the things he has done, like flying off of a Cell. Therefore, he’ll give Venis Rocko back, but he wants Mankind to close his eyes first. Then he grabs a testicular claw to take Mankind down. Stevie Richards comes in for a failed save and the Dudleys beat both of them up and DESTROY THE JACKET. Venis keeps cranking on Mankind and leaves him laying as the Dudleys leave. As usual, this worked because while the jacket is stupid, it means something to Mankind and that makes it matter.

WWF Title: HHH vs. British Bulldog

HHH is defending and The Rock is guest referee. Rock jumps Bulldog before HHH comes out so HHH is fine with stomping away on Bulldog on the floor. The bell rings and HHH covers, but Rock is looking at the crowd. HHH yells so Bulldog hits him low (Rock doesn’t care) and we see Steve Austin watching in the back. They fight to the floor as Rock jumps in on commentary.

Bulldog drops HHH on the ramp and they get back inside (Rock too) where the powerslam is countered. The Pedigree connects but Rock applauds rather than cover. Rock gives HHH the Rock Bottom and gets back on commentary. Bulldog covers and Rock counts two before saying it doesn’t matter if he counts three. Rock hits them both with the belt and stomps away before laying them out. This includes a People’s Elbow with Rock sliding across the mat without leaving his feet, which WWE hyped up as amazing and….not really? Rock leaves with the title and HHH is confused.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to say about a match like this as it wasn’t about the match itself (obviously) and was more of a chance for Rock to play to the crowd. It worked well in that sense, but otherwise it was just five minutes of waiting for it to end, which is pretty much what happened. Not bad, but also barely a match.

We go to the back where Rock jumps HHH but gets jumped by the Bulldog, leaving HHH with the belt. Then Austin is waiting in HHH’s locker room and jumps him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a special ninety minute episode for the sake of the Shasta McNasty (it didn’t last) pilot so they were a bit rushed. That being said, you still got a funny bit with Mankind and Venis, plus Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys. As was often the case around this time, things were moving very fast, but the show was still entertaining. Now it’s on to No Mercy, with some of the bigger matches already set, so things are looking in the right direction.

 

 

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Summerslam 2007 (2022 Redo): Return For Two

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

This is a bit of a weird show as it is built around the two World Title matches, but two of the other big matches involve people who have been gone for months. We’ll be seeing Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title while Great Khali defends the Smackdown World Title against Batista. At the same time, Rey Mysterio and HHH are back after some long layoffs, making the build for this a bit weird. Let’s get to it.

The opening video narrates a look at Mysterio returning and the regular World Title matches, making it feel like a TV show.

Then we get the REAL opening, with the “We Can Rebuild Him” video on the returning HHH, the actual star of the show.

Kane vs. Finlay

Grudge match after Finlay accidentally knocked a cup of coffee Kane. Worked for Jericho in 2000. Kane, with his injured ribs, knocks Finlay into the corner to start and grabs a slam to keep him in early trouble. Some uppercuts in the corner set up some choking on the ropes before Kane knocks him over the top. That’s not enough for Kane, who boots him in the face, only to get hit in the ribs.

Back in and a backsplash gives Finlay two and it’s off to a half crab. Kane fights up again and it’s an enziguri to put Finlay down for a change. A one armed side slam gives Kane two and there’s the top rope clothesline to rock Finlay again. Finlay is right back with a shot to the ring but it’s Hornswoggle time.

You don’t do that to Kane, who shoves Hornswoggle down but can’t chokeslam Finlay due to the bad ribs. JBL: “He has won a WWE Championship with that chokeslam.” No, he hasn’t. Finlay unhooks the turnbuckle pad, which is enough for him to sneak in the Shillelagh (with an assist from Hornswoggle) shot to the ribs for two. That’s too much for Kane, who sends him into the post and grabs the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about taking two hard hitting guys and letting them beat on each other for a little while. That’s how you start a show and it worked well enough, as they both know how to do this match really well. Not a classic opener or anything close, but it was fun to watch two guys like this do their thing.

Vince McMahon and Coach joins the General Managers in a party themed move. McMahon thinks the mother of his illegitimate son wants a payday but here is Santino Marella to suggest he is said son. That’s rejected, so here is MVP to say he wants to issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for something other than a match. Vince is down for that, but William Regal thinks Vince’s son would be more, uh, regal. Everyone else leaves and Vince seems disturbed by the thought of being with an Englishwoman.

Video on Rey Mysterio. Did you know he’s back tonight?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They stare at each other to start and Umaga punches both of them in the face before sending them into various corners. Carlito and Kennedy need a breather on the floor and decide to go for a distraction, which goes horribly wrong as well. Kennedy saves Carlito from the running hip attack in the corner though and it’s a running boot to drive Umaga’s head into the steps. That leaves Kennedy to stomp on Carlito inside but he’s right back with a springboard elbow.

They seem to be going as fast as they can because Umaga is up, meaning it’s an uppercut from the floor to drop Carlito. Kennedy saves him from a Stinger Splash in the corner though and a shot to Umaga’s head gets two. Umaga isn’t about to get double suplexed so he suplexes both of them at the same time instead. The monster awakens and wrecks both of them, including the running hip attack in the corner to Carlito. Kennedy knocks Umaga outside…but Umaga is right back in with the Samoan Spike to finish Kennedy to retain.

Rating: C. It was little more than a Raw match and that didn’t exactly leave us with a great showcase. The good thing is that Umaga looked like a monster out there as Kennedy and Carlito combined completely failed to stop him. That’s the kind of win that will build Umaga back up even more and that is going to make the person who finally stops him look even bigger, as it should.

Undertaker is back at Unforgiven.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo put Rey on the shelf for knee surgery and is now laughing at the idea that Rey is coming back. Revenge seems imminent.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint because he can be a bit odd with some of his costume ideas. They talk trash to each other to start until Rey hits him in the face. Chavo goes after the knee but Rey slips away without much effort. The test of strength is on, allowing them to flip around a lot with neither getting very far.

Another try for the knee works better for Chavo as the leg is wrapped around the middle rope. Rey isn’t having that and kicks Chavo outside before taking him back in for some knee work of his own. There’s a middle rope hurricanrana to send Chavo flying again but he catches Rey in the Tree of Woe to go after the knee again. Said knee is wrapped around the post as we get to the meat of things. The stretch muffler has Rey in more trouble and there’s a dropkick to the knee.

The knee is fine enough to hit an enziguri but it gives out on the 619 attempt. Rey has to get to the ropes to get out of a half crab and now it’s Chavo’s turn to be in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t last long either so Rey sends him outside for a running seated senton off the apron. Rey misses a high crossbody back inside though and it’s a Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Another 619 attempt misses and Chavo hits a few Amigos. Rey isn’t having that though and it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. As expected, this was a good match between two talented wrestlers, though I’m still not sure how much interest there was going to be in Chavo as a focal point. He’s a very good worker, but he is more a solid hand than a featured player. That being said, this was all about Rey being back and getting to shake the rust off, which worked well in his first match in a long time.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell say Rey Mysterio’s return may have been great, but HHH’s return will be an entrance, followed by him bowing down to King Booker.

Battle Royal

Maria, Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian Hall, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Kristal, Michelle McCool, Layla, Kelly Kelly, Brooke

The winner gets a future Women’s Title shot against Candice Michelle, who is at ringside. It’s a brawl to start, as it should be, with a bunch of brawling around the ring. Jillian gets rid of Maria and Layla is gone soon after. Brooke seems to have been tossed somewhere in there too and Kristal gets rid of Victoria (that’s an upset).

Michelle knocks Kristal out and there goes Kelly (through the ropes, because over the top is a bit too much). Torrie helps get rid of Jillian and Melina knocks out Mickie. We’re down to Michelle, Melina, Beth and Torrie, with Melina being knocked out by Michelle. Beth gets rid of Torrie without much effort and we’re down to two. Michelle tries a kick and is tossed out to give Beth the win.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? There are only a few women who are ready to challenge for the title and Beth is about as good of a choice as you could have here. Beth is a different kind of monster and we should be in for a showdown with Candice. At least they kept this moving, as that is the best idea they could have had here.

Almost immediately as soon as the match is over, here is MVP, with a few guys carrying a cooler, to say no one paid to see these women. You need him on the show, so MVP talks about how he used to drink beer. His tastes have changed now that he is rich, but tonight it’s time for a beer drinking contest with Matt Hardy.

Hold on though, as Matt brings up MVP using a surrogate for their boxing match. Well Matt (who somehow knew this would be a drinking contest) has his own surrogate: Steve Austin. Cue Austin, who warms up for the contest with some rope running and pushups but it’s a Stunner before the first beer is consumed. A lot of drinking ensues. Nothing wrong with a surprise appearance like this, even if Austin didn’t say a word.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

Vince McMahon is still in the office with the bosses when Cryme Tyme interrupts. They think “Vinnie Mac” (Vince: “Vinnie Mac?”) might be their dad and it’s time to chant MONEY MONEY YEAH YEAH. Everyone dances around Vince, including William Regal in a hat. Cue Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Video on John Morrison.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending and gets taken down without much trouble to start. Punk wins a grapple off to start and hits a hiptoss before hitting a triangle dropkick to the floor. Back up and Morrison hits a neckbreaker onto the apron, allowing him to hammer away with some right hands.

We hit the chinlock with an arm trap, which Tazz doesn’t seem to notice as a version of the Tazmission. A regular chinlock doesn’t work either and Punk is back up with a middle rope crossbody for two of his own. The scoop powerslam gets two more but it’s a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to give Morrison two more. Back up and Punk crotches Morrison on the top and they’re both down for a bit. Punk’s top rope hurricanrana is countered though and Morrison puts his feet on the ropes for the stolen pin to retain.

Rating: C. These two have had more than a few matches now and it wasn’t exactly anything better than their previous stuff. Punk has lost to Morrison time after time now and there isn’t much left for these two to do with each other. The other problem is that there isn’t anything else for Punk on ECW, but he has to win something soon. Not a bad match, but it could have been on ECW TV.

King Booker vs. HHH

This is HHH’s first match since January after another torn quadricep. Booker, with Queen Sharmell, thinks there is only one king around here. Naturally HHH gets a big special entrance video, including the WE CAN REBUILD HIM deal. Commentary tries to put it over like the 2002 MSG return and it’s just not there.

Booker slugs away to start but gets punched outside without much trouble. Back in and HHH gets cut off with an elbow to the head, only to get knocked right back to the floor. HHH gets to punch him in the face a bit more, setting up the facebuster for two back inside. Booker gets smart by going after the leg, only to have HHH take out Booker’s leg instead.

The Figure Four goes on so Sharmell rakes the eyes for a save. The slugout goes to HHH, and he tosses Booker outside for a whip into the steps. They head back inside for the spinebuster but Booker breaks up the Pedigree attempt. Some knees to the head set up a side slam but Booker misses the Houston Hangover. The Pedigree finishes Booker without much effort.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t a disaster but it was far from as good as you would have expected from these two. HHH shrugged off everything Booker threw at him and then won clean in the end, which isn’t exactly surprising. I would have expected a bit more than about eight minutes, but odds are they didn’t want to leave HHH out there to get winded early. This could have been worse, though it was pretty lame, all things considered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Khali is the new unstoppable monster and Batista is one of the only people who can come after him. That’s a bit of a problem though, as Khali’s Claw/vice grip are rather deadly.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is challenging and gets pounded down in the corner to start. Khali sends him outside in a heap and hits the big chop on the way back in. That’s only good for two so Khali sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the nerve hold. The rope is grabbed, meaning it’s a forearm to the back and another nerve hold goes on.

Cole describes the reaction as the fans getting restless, which is certainly one way to go. Batista fights up and blocks the vice grip, setting up the spinebuster. For some reason Batista goes up but dives into the double chokeslam for two. Runjin Singh throws in a chair and Khali hits Batista for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Restless would be one way to go, but the better term would likely be “bored out of their minds”. This was a bunch of sitting around doing nothing until Khali did something pretty stupid and now we are likely in for a rematch, because that is what we needed here. I get the idea of the chase, but the idea of Khali being involved in anything fast paced is disturbing.

Post match Batista gets the chair and blasts Khali for a change. JBL is livid at Khali for doing something so stupid, which is a fair assessment.

It’s back to the office, where Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come in to see Vince. They don’t think they’re the mother of the son, but Mae wants some relations with Vince RIGHT NOW to make a new son. Mae jumps him and leaves a taste in Vince’s mouth…which he kind of likes. Coach: “That’s disgusting sir!” Vince: “Old chicken makes good soup.”

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Cena has been champion for almost a year but Orton has been on a path of destruction. Now it’s time for Cena to stop him, because no one else can do it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and gets headlocked to start, with the fans really not being behind Cena. The headlock (and really blatant spot calling) continue until Orton reverses into one of his own. Cena can’t counter into the STFU and Orton stomps him down. Back up and Orton keeps it simple with a hard shot to the head which might cause Cena to miss a crossbody.

That means Orton can knock Cena off the apron and onto the announcers’ table for two back inside. The rather aggressive chinlock goes on but Cena suplexes his way to freedom. A missed charge lets Orton get in some more stomps but he misses the big knee. The powerslam doesn’t miss though and we’re right back to the chinlock. Cena tries to power up again so Orton grabs a sleeper with a bodyscissors.

More power gets Cena out of trouble, this time by driving Orton into the corner. Now the comeback is on, including the Shuffle, but the FU is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT as JR is wondering when the concussion is coming. The RKO is countered but Cena misses another charge and falls over the top. Back in and Cena tries the Throwback but winds up with a Blockbuster, which is quite the odd visual coming from him.

The top rope Fameasser connects and Orton is in trouble again. This time the FU is countered with a neck snap across the top. That’s enough to load up the Punt but Orton takes too long and gets pulled into the STFU. The rope gets Orton out of trouble and he grabs a quick RKO for two (that’s still a rare kickout). Cena is done playing around though and hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This was a big time fight and Cena felt like he went through a long battle. They were trading big moves but the ending was a bit of a letdown, as Cena kicked out of the RKO and then finished him clean. That doesn’t leave much of a future for the feud, but never let it be said that WWE won’t let something continue despite it looking like it was wrapping up. What we got was good though, as these two were starting to feel it when they went home.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helps a lot and there was enough good to make it work, but Batista vs. Khali was horrible and HHH’s return was a disappointment. It was a bunch of short matches too, with only Orton vs. Cena and Mysterio vs. Guerrero breaking ten minutes. At least we got some good stuff in there though, including a solid main event. Good, but certainly not great show.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2006 (2021 Redo): It Doesn’t Feel Big

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally here and just like all the other times I’ve seen this show, it still doesn’t feel all that big. Nothing on the card really stands out above the rest as some major match, but instead we are getting a bunch of important matches at once. That isn’t a bad thing, but it did make for kind of an odd setup. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the history of the show….and then the DX logo pops up as we talk about DX vs. the McMahons, followed by everything else.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

They’re fighting over Eddie Guerrero’s memory, so we look at both videos from Smackdown, focusing on both of their relationships with them. So yes, it does come off as a pay per view match based on people arguing over who was Eddie’s real best friend. This is also Chavo’s return from retirement, despite the fact that he was on almost every TV show since retiring. Rey hammers away to start fast as JBL goes on a rant about the Guerrero family as only he can.

Chavo tries a shoulder breaker but gets sent outside, where he manages to avoid Rey’s dive. Chavo’s dive connects and it’s time to choke away back in to the corner. Rey comes back out of another corner and kicks away at the leg, only to be sent head first into the buckle. The fans chant for Eddie as Rey is knocked outside but comes back up top, right next to Chavo. They both hit a big facebuster back to the mat and it’s a bit of a breather. Rey is back up with a kick to the head and there’s the 619.

Chavo counters the seated senton though, meaning Rey has to hurricanrana him over the top for a double crash to the floor. Cue Vickie Guerrero to yell at Chavo and slap him in the face. Rey takes him down with a dive and they head back inside to exchange Three Amigos each. It’s Rey going up top but Vickie crotches him down, allowing Chavo to hit a brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Rey off.

Rating: C+. The match was good, as you would expect from these two, but egads the battle of these two over Eddie’s memory was hard to watch. I know it’s the logical way to go, but at the same time it feels like it’s being designed to set up some big Eddie return, which doesn’t seem that likely. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of these two together and hopefully that does not include hearing Eddie’s name every fourth word.

Queen Sharmell and King Booker are ready to face Batista but here are Edge and Lita to interrupt. They argue over who is the most powerful couple, with Booker calling him a squire. The champs make a bet: if Edge loses his title, he has to kiss Booker’s feet but if Booker loses his title, Booker he has to be Edge’s servant. I’m still not sure if these champion vs. champion scenes matter quite as much as WWE thinks they do.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending under ECW Rules. Sabu chairs him down to start and hits a quick Arabian facebuster for two. Show isn’t having that and knocks both Sabu and the chair down. The bearhug goes on for a few seconds, followed by a fall away slam to send Sabu flying. Sabu finds another chair though and knocks Show silly, followed by a top rope chair shot to do it again. It’s table time, but first Sabu hits a top rope bulldog. Sabu drives him through the table in the corner but Show is right back up to run him over.

A Vader Bomb connects, with Sabu rolling outside as Show grabs the steps. Two sets of steps are thrown in and a table is bridged between them. Sabu uses the breather to climb onto the table, which falls down, then reset it and DDT show through it for….well nothing as he doesn’t bother to cover. Instead, Sabu sets up another table and is quickly chokeslammed through it to retain Show’s title.

Rating: C. They did what they had to do well enough here, as they didn’t stay out there too long and had Sabu use all of his weapons to cover up all of the issues. I’m not sure how much of a doubt there was about who was leaving as champion, but now I’m curious to see who is next for Sabu. This could have been much worse so I’ll call that a win.

We look at Layla winning the Diva Search.

Layla comes into the locker room where some of the women brag about her cover on a magazine. Trish Stratus goes on a rant about what everyone else had to do to get here. But it’s ok because Layla is one of them now. Then they take her into the shower and soak her for her initiation. I know the idea of a bunch of Divas in the shower is a simple concept, but it loses its steam when they are in their usual clothes.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton. Legend meets Legend Killer, who was also hitting on the Legend’s daughter.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

They lock up to start with Hogan shoving him down to hit the posing. Orton has some more luck with a headlock, but he gets shoved away again without much effort. Hogan powers out of another headlock and shoves Orton down again but this time Orton gets in a cheap shot and stomps away. You don’t try to ram him into the buckle though as Hogan blocks the shot and hammers away in the corner, as only he can. A thumb to the eye and more right hands set up a clothesline to keep Orton in trouble.

There are the back rakes as JR talks about Hogan’s heeling days in the AWA. Orton bails to the floor where he grabs Hogan’s knee and rams it into the apron. Back in and the circle stomp keeps Hogan in trouble but he ducks the high crossbody. The big boot misses though and Orton nails the dropkick. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot is on the rope just in time. There’s the Hulk Up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Orton.

Rating: D+. I’m always going to be a Hulkamaniac but what in the world was this? Hogan comes in, shrugs off almost everything Orton has, and wins in about eleven minutes? It’s a feel good moment and such but this serves Hogan and Hogan only, which makes me think he probably had a lot to do with the decision. Orton could have used this win and while it won’t destroy him, the loss doesn’t exactly feel like the smartest move. The match wasn’t even that good, as Hogan dominated for the first half, got beaten down for a bit and then went to the finish with some pretty limited drama.

Posing ensues post match.

Melina gives Mick Foley a pep talk but Mick is worried about the kind of mood Flair is in. She also doesn’t want Foley to lose and damage her reputation as the manager of champions. Foley is fired up too though and seems ready to go.

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match so Foley brings in a trashcan full of weapons. Foley starts fast and hits the running knee in the corner. The Mandible Claw goes on about a minute in but Foley lets go to ask Flair if he quits. Since Flair can’t speak at the moment, Foley puts barbed wire around Mr. Socko, allowing Flair to grab him low. Flair puts on the barbed wire Socko and chops him out to the floor.

There’s the big whip into the steps but Foley grabs a barbed wire board to hack Flair up as well. The fans sound like they want fire as Foley chokes with a boot. There’s another barbed wire board shot to the face and then one to Flair’s back but he still won’t quit. Flair is COVERED in blood and Foley pouring out the thumbtacks isn’t going to make it better. Foley slams him onto the tacks but Flair still won’t quit, so let’s bring in a barbed wire baseball bat.

Thankfully Flair gets in a low blow and sends Foley shoulder first into the post. Flair hits Foley’s arm with the bat but Foley won’t quit, even with threats of Flair killing him. A big shot knocks Foley off the apron and into the Nestea Plunge, onto a trashcan for a cushion. The trainer comes out to say Foley can’t continue but Flair isn’t having that. Instead he throws Foley back inside, sending him right through the thumbtacks.

Flair goes for the eyes with the barbed wire bat as Melina is out here begging for mercy. The bat is driven into Foley’s face so Melina throws in the towel to quit for him. Flair kicks Foley low and demands that Foley be the one to quit. With nothing else working, Flair grabs the bat and goes for Melina, which is enough for Foley to quit.

Rating: B-. This one is likely going to have a lot of different opinions, but the biggest problem is that I didn’t exactly enjoy the match. Above all else, it was too violent (and yes I know that was the point) for and there was so much blood between two people who probably shouldn’t be doing this to themselves anymore. Then there is the Melina thing which is a real life friendship, but it came out of almost nowhere on WWE TV. I get why Foley quit to save her, though it isn’t like some big epic moment or friendship between the two. They did what they were supposed to do, but it wasn’t something I could really enjoy.

Foley is COVERED in blood and can barely stand.

The McMahons are warming up with Armando Alejandro Estrada in their office. Estrada promises that Umaga will be there to hold them against DX.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T. vs. Batista

Booker is defending. They take turns shoving each other into the corner to start until Booker slaps him in the face. That earns him a big push down so Booker chops away. It doesn’t exactly work though as Booker grabs a Stunner over the to rope and nails a hot shot to keep Batista down.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, with Batista fighting up for a belly to belly. They head outside, where Sharmell slips Booker the scepter to hit Batista in the face. Booker takes him back inside to crank on the arm and then switches back to the chinlock. The fans talk about a certain disease they claim Sharmell has as Batista fights up to crotch Booker on the top.

It’s back to the floor with Batista being distracted by Sharmell and sent into the steps. The Book End gives Booker two but the ax kick misses, setting up a Jackhammer for two on the champ. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but Sharmell comes in for the DQ. You can’t even say it was a long match for that lame of an ending.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if you can call this a clash of styles but they didn’t have much of a flow to the match and the ending was even worse. This will set up a rematch on the next pay per view but I’m not sure I want to see it again. The match wasn’t the worst but it isn’t the kind of match I want to see again. If nothing else, you would think the World Title match would get more than eleven minutes but it doesn’t even hit that, leaving this feeling like a match that they had because it was required instead of something they wanted to feature.

Post match Batista wrecks Booker again to set up the rematch.

DX is talking to someone in the men’s locker room. They seem to have backup.

We recap D-Generation X vs. the McMahon, DX has tormented Vince and Shane for months now so now the McMahons (and their band of mercenaries, meaning Umaga and the Spirit Squad) are dealing with this here.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

DX does their usual intro and we’re ready to go. Actually hold on as the McMahons stay on the stage and send out the Spirit Squad. DX dispatches them in a hurry so here are Mr. Kennedy, Finlay and William Regal, who are beaten up after just a bit more time. Now it’s Big Show to take Shawn out while the other three beat up HHH on the floor. HHH gets put through the announcers’ table and NOW the McMahons are willing to head to the ring.

Vince slams Shawn down as we officially start, setting up Shane with the jabs. The bosses take turns beating Shawn down, though Shane is smart enough to hit the floor and stomp HHH down. A double suplex sets up a Paisan elbow and Shane takes HHH down again. There’s a Demolition Decapitator (JR: “They think they’re Demolition.”) into a Hart Attack into a Doomsday Device for two on Shawn, with Shane being stunned.

Shawn fights up and hits a double clothesline, allowing the hot tag to HHH. House is cleaned in a hurry and Shawn beats Shane up on the floor. Cue Umaga though and Shawn gets taken out, leaving the McMahons to beat on HHH. With Umaga ready to wreck DX even more, cue Kane to fight him to the back. HHH is down in the corner as Shane loads up Coast To Coast but Shawn is back up to superkick it out of the air. Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree finishes Vince.

Rating: ;C-. It was another nicely done story with the execution lacking. As has been the case for the entire feud so far, DX never felt like they were in trouble. Having the army there helped a good bit and DX was at least down here, but we are reaching kind of a goofy point where you can only throw so many people before it stops mattering. An army of midcarders is a big update over the Spirit Squad though so it’s a step forward, but the match, again, wasn’t much to see.

A lot of celebrating ensues, with a trainer checking on Shawn.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge for Edge’s Raw World Title. Edge cashed in Money in the Bank to win the title at New Year’s Revolution but then Cena took it back at the Royal Rumble a few weeks later Then Rob Van Dam took the title and Edge got it back, with Cena giving chase. Edge slapped Cena’s father on Raw, so you know it’s personal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is defending and loses the title if he is disqualified. Cena wastes no time in shoving Edge hard into the corner to begin the destruction. The referee has to cut things off and Cena misses a charge into the post. That means Edge can hammer away and send Cena outside for a nine count. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two but Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets the same. Cena gets tossed over the top and out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena misses a crossbody and we hit the chinlock. Cena eventually powers out so Edge boots him in the face for two. Edge heads up top and gets crotched, though he is fine enough to shove Cena down and score with a top rope clothesline for two. The camel clutch goes on until Cena fights up with a slam for the double knockdown. It’s Cena back up with the Throwback and it’s time to pick up the pace.

Lita throws in a chair because she forgot the rules but Cena gets rid of it just as fast. Cena fires off his clotheslines but Edge cuts him off for two. Cena’s victory roll gets two so Lita gets on the apron, only to get knocked down again. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown until Edge is up with the Edge-O-Matic for two.

The spear is loaded up but Cena counters into the STFU. Edge grabs the rope, allowing Lita to slip him some brass knuckles. Cena doesn’t mind and loads up the FU, which draws Lita in. Again, that’s fine with Cena who puts them on his shoulders at the same time. Lita gets flipped down but Edge slips out and uses the knuckles to the back of the head to pin Cena and retain.

Rating: B. It’s the best match of the show, but that isn’t exactly clearing a high bar. They were starting to feel things at the end before the screwy finish but at least Edge got a pin instead of having Lita come in for the DQ. Cena was starting to have the Superman vibe here as he was fired up and unstoppable, which makes the ending seem a little more impressive. They did well here, though the mic work is still the high point of the feud.

Edge and Lita celebrate as Cena wakes up to stare down down and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of one match standing above the rest or the lack of anything really changing but I still don’t care for this show all that much. It also doesn’t help that nothing really jumps off the page as far as quality, leaving this to be a not exactly memorable show. This felt like they were gearing up for their next brand exclusive shows. That is a way to go, but then why should I want to watch this? The show does feel big, but nothing happens here and that leaves you with no real reason to watch it, which isn’t exactly what you expect from a show usually this important.

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