WWE Vault – Giant Tag Teams: As Advertised (As It Should Be)

Giant Tag Teams
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Johnny V

It’s another compilation video from the WWE Vault and again, the name kind of speaks for itself. I have no idea what to expect from this one and that should make for something interesting. It’s a concept that doesn’t require a lot of thinking, but it could go well or poorly for any combination. Let’s get to it.

From Sunday Night Heat, February 11, 2001.

Brothers Of Destruction vs. Kai En Tai

Kane wrecks both of them to start and suplexes Taka. A one armed chokeslam gets two, with Funaki making a rather cruel save. Undertaker chokeslams some sense into Funaki and stereo Last Rides (well just a regular powerbomb in Kane’s case) finish at 1:40.

From WCW Saturday Night, June 19, 1993.

Masters Of The Powerbomb vs. Kip Abee/Terry Travis

That would be Vader and Sid Vicious. Vader chokeslams Abee to start and it’s off to Sid to kick Travis in the corner. A clothesline takes Travis’ head off and Sid’s powerbomb finishes at 1:16.

From Superstars, October 19, 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Barry Hardy/Duane Gill/Jim Arnon

Earthquake takes Hardy into the corner to start. Piper: “HARDY! GO FOR HIS EYES!” McMahon: “Family entertainment here.” Piper, in a much quieter voice: “Grab his wrist and try to make him give up.” Savage: “GRAB HIS EYES!” Gill gets taken into the corner and everything breaks down with the triple splash crushing the jobbers. The powerslam into the Earthquake into the Typhoon splash finishes Arnon at 2:51.

From Armageddon 2006.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

This is what I love about these collections: you have a bunch of squash matches and then a pay per view semi main event out of nowhere. It’s such a random collection. Show shoves Batista down to start and then does it again for a bonus. Some right hands and running clotheslines do a bit better for Batista and he gets a boot up to stop a charging Show. A running shoulder puts Show down but he shoves Batista away without much trouble. The chokeslam is broken up so Show settles for a big boot instead. It’s off to Kane who actually gets suplexed for a fast two.

Back up and Kane hits the side slam on Batista but Batista slams him off the top to cut off the big clothesline. Mysterio comes in to pick up the pace but his kick to the face just annoys Kane. The right hands in the corner don’t do much either so Mysterio tries a middle rope ax handle. A springboard missile dropkick looks to set up a 619 but Show offers a distraction. Batista cuts him off but Show is right there again to cut off another 619 attempt.

The ram into the post has Mysterio down again and Show casually throws him back inside. Show kicks Batista’s offer of a tag away and then drops Mysterio with a loud chop. Kane pulls Mysterio out of the air but gets put down with the sitout bulldog. Batista has to break up the double chokeslam and everything breaks down. The spear cuts Kane down and Mysterio adds the basement dropkick. Batista hits the spinebuster before tackling Show over the announcers’ table. Back in and the 619 hits Kane, who pulls the West Coast Pop out of the air. The chokeslam finishes Mysterio at 8:06.

Rating: C+. That’s the logical way for this to end, as there wasn’t much that Mysterio could do against that kind of power. Batista was holding his own in there for as long as he could but ultimately Show and Kane were dominant monsters for a reason. It wasn’t much more than a Smackdown main event but it did its job fairly well.

From (I believe) Wrestling Challenge, January 22, 1989.

Twin Towers vs. ???/???

Boss Man powers one of them into the corner and chokes on the ropes as we get an insert promo from Slick, praising the Towers. Akeem comes in and beats up the other jobber before Boss Man hits a hard clothesline. A double back elbow hits one of them as Monsoon suddenly praises Slick, saying he’ll have champions soon enough. The Boss Man Slam sets up Air Africa for the pin at 2:02.

From Smackdown, April 27, 2000.

Hollys vs. T&A

Test full nelson slams Hardcore to start but Hardcore is back up to stomp away in the corner. Crash comes in and avoids a charge in the corner as commentary talks about the possibility of Steve Austin being here tonight. A sitout powerbomb gives Test two as the Dudley Boyz are watching in the back. Albert’s splash misses and Hardcore comes back in for the dropkick. Crash tags himself back in though (drawing the ELROY chants) and misses his own splash. Test boots Hardcore down and the gorilla press from Albert sets up the top rope elbow to finish Crash at 3:17.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but then again, T&A were little more than a vehicle for Trish Stratus (that worked well enough). It’s easy to forget how many teams were around in this era as Edge and Christian and the Hardys and the Dudleys get so much attention. Both of these teams were totally decent most of the time and this could have been better with some extra time.

From Armageddon 2007.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry

This was during the ECW Champion CM Punk Fights A Bunch Of Monsters period. Henry shoves Punk down to start and, after shrugging off some kicks to the leg, does it again. Kane comes in to uppercut away at Henry, followed by a running dropkick to the knee. It’s back to Punk for a dropkick but Henry runs him over with ease.

V comes in so Punk strikes away, which goes as well as you would expect. Matt Striker gets in a cheap shot to Punk on the floor before it’s back to Henry for a gorilla press. Back up and Punk avoids a charge in the corner, allowing Kane to come in for the running corner clotheslines. Kane has to fight out of the wrong corner but walks into V’s sitout chokebomb for two.

The splash to the back sets up what would become the Visagra before it’s back to Henry for the bearhug. Henry powers him back into the corner but Kane manages a running DDT for a needed breather. Punk comes back in to strike away at V, with the running knee in the corner rocking him hard. Kane and Henry fight up the aisle, leaving Punk to springboard into a Samoan drop to give V the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C-. Yeah this didn’t quite work, though there is only so much you can get out of this idea. At the end of the day, V is fairly limited in what he can do and Henry is only so much better. They played up the idea of Punk trying to fight the monsters but being in over his head physically, which is what caught him in the end. Kane was doing his thing, but there were limits to what you could do here.

From Championship Wrestling, August 9, 1986.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Frankie Lane/Brickhouse Brown

Brown goes after Studd to start and gets cut off with as much effort as you would expect. A bearhug goes on as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan, mocking Captain Lou Albano for writing a book. Bundy comes in and drives Brown into the corner for the tag to Lane. Everything breaks down and Lane is bounced off the giants. The Avalanche finishes (for a five count) at 3:15.

Rating: C. There is something fun about a team like Bundy and Studd, who are the definition of “what you see is what you get”. They’re big guys, they beat people up, and they don’t move a lot. Neither guy is trying to do anything more than the basics and yet it works rather well.

From Raw, September 30, 2002.

3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Rico is here with 3 Minute Warning. It’s a brawl to start and Booker elbows Rosey down for an early two. Jamal comes in to take over on Goldust, who can’t fight out of the wrong corner. Some clubberin keeps Goldust in trouble and Booker gets knocked off the apron. Goldust finally gets over for the tag off to Booker so house can be cleaned.

Everyone else is down so Booker busts out the Spinarooni, setting up the ax kick to Jamal. Rosey is late with the save so the referee has to pull up on the count in a pretty bad look. Rico superkicks Goldust and Booker gets planted, setting up Jamal’s top rope splash for the pin on Booker (why yes, this is in Booker’s hometown of Houston) at 6:34.

Rating: C. Nice enough in-ring debut here for 3 Minute Warning, who had been attacking a variety of people and now get a win over a popular team. The fact that it was over Booker in his hometown shouldn’t be surprising whatsoever, as that is just kind of what the company does. Either way, it could have been far worse and we got a fine debut.

From Summerslam 1998.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is the four man version of Kai En Tai, with Yamaguchi-San in their corner. Unfortunately the Oddities’ entrance, featuring a live performance by the Insane Clown Posse, is cut out, meaning no Kurrgan dancing. Golga (Earthquake under a mask) cleans house to start and steals Yamaguchi’s shoe.

Kurrgan comes in and shoves all four of them away to break up a quadruple team. Yamaguchi gets sent inside while Kurrgan dances on the floor. The Giant Silva (7’2) comes in and scares Kai En Tai off as this is not the most serious match. All four of them go after Silva and get nowhere so he stacks all four of them into the same corner for a big hip attack. Kai En Tai is knocked outside, leaving Silva to just walk around for a bit.

Golga comes in for the powerslam that could only come from Earthquake. A double dropkick staggers Golga and they manage a double slam, followed by a series of top rope splashes. The rapid fire elbows keep Golga down but he’s back up with a quadruple clothesline (you don’t see that one very often). Kurrgan comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luna Vachon slamming Yamaguchi. A double double chokeslam sets up a quadruple splash to pin Kai En Tai at 10:11.

Rating: C-. I have an unnatural fondness for the Oddities, with Kurrgan’s dancing being my ultimate guilty pleasure in wrestling. That being said, having this go on for ten minutes was insane, as there was no need for it to go even half that long. It’s a situation where getting in and getting out would have been a better way to go and the length dragged almost all of the fun out of the thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Again, this was fun. The biggest thing I get out of these collections is that some long time fans are running this channel. Rather than having a bunch of matches from the last ten years and a token 90s match, they went all over the place and had some fun with the material available. I had fun with this and that’s all you can ask for with something like this, as it isn’t exactly a concept that can go incredibly in depth.

 

 

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WWE Vault: Unseen Earthquake Dark Matches: Real Monsters Wear Baby Blue

Earthquake Dark Matches
Date: 1989, 2001

This is part of Giants Week on the WWE Vault and the name speaks for itself. Earthquake was one of the better big men of his era but people forget how young he was. It’s fascinating to see what he could do and now we are getting a look at both the beginning and end of his career. Let’s get to it.

From March 26, 1989.

John Tenta vs. Sam Houston

Yes Tenta, despite him wearing the Canadian Earthquake gear. Houston rolls around to start before getting powered into the corner. The big firearm to the chest sets up quite the slam so Houston crawls through Tenta’s legs. Some dropkicks don’t get Huston very far so it’s off to a front facelock for about as much success. We hit the required bearhug until Houston fights out and tries a sleeper. That doesn’t work either so Tenta grabs a spinning belly to belly suplex for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: C. Yeah this was just a squash and that’s all it needed to be. The point in bringing in a monster like Tenta is to put him in there with a smaller guy who had just enough status to matter. Tenta looked decent in there and the gear worked well for him, which is impressive as not every giant can pull off baby blue.

From September 20, 1989.

Earthquake Evans vs. Paul Roma

Evans is in pretty much street clothes and has Slick with him. They circle each other to start until Roma is shoved down with ease. Roma’s right hands in the corner just annoy Evans…but he actually manages to armdrag the monster down into an armbar. Roma stays on the arm for a bit before getting pulled into a powerslam.

A hard whip into the corner rocks Roma again and Evans slaps on the bearhug. Rather than squeezing, Evans sends him into the corner and hits a splash. Rima avoids a charge though and comes back with three straight middle rope forearms to the head to stagger Evans, followed by some dropkicks to actually put him down. A high crossbody misses though and Evans drops the big elbow for the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. The previous match worked a bit better and oddly enough, a lot of that is due to the gear. The Earthquake singlet worked fine but this was basically him looking like a lumberjack. That takes away a lot of the aura and makes him look like a big guy who can do moves. Roma did his part well though and the fans were getting into it, but Earthquake, at least cosmetically, took a big step backwards here.

From December 22, 2001.

Earthquake vs. Tank Meloche

The fans are rather pleased to see Earthquake, who goes with the power to start. Meloche manages a running shoulder to actually drop him though and it’s off to the corner for a running clothesline. Some chops give us some WOOing and a hiptoss brings Earthquake back out.

Meloche gets in a nice slam for one and a crossbody connects for two. Back up and earthquake hits a splash in the corner, followed by a runing clothesline for two. A terrible looking splash misses for Earthquake (Meloche had already moved before Earthquake left his feet) and Meloche suplexes him down. Earthquake manages a slam off the top and drops the big leg, followed by the Earthquake for the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C-. I can definitely see why Earthquake didn’t get signed, or even another chance, after this. He looked old and not overly impressive, with nostalgia being the only thing he offered here. On the other hand, Meloche looked completely decent and could have been worth another look, but from what I can tell, this is the only recorded match he had, at least under this name. Odds are he worked smaller shows and probably under another name, but he did well enough here that he had me curious.

Overall Rating: C. This one is definitely more in the “historical curiosity” category and not much else. The matches aren’t exactly high quality, though you know what you’re getting from a bunch of dark matches. Earthquake was a talented star in his day, but it was clear that those days passed him by and there wasn’t much of a reason to bring him back. Still though, the early days were good and the Houston match showed a fine enough preview of what he could do.

 

 

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WWE Vault: Forgotten Giants Of The Ring: And Now You Know Why

Forgotten Giants Of The Ring
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jim Ross, Kevin Kelly, Dusty Rhodes, Chris Cruise, Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Carlos Cabrera, Hugo Savinovich, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

So the WWE Vault is doing Giants Week this week and well, the title kind of speaks for itself in this case. I’m not sure what to expect, though the term “forgotten” gets thrown around pretty easily in things like this. Hopefully it winds up being a nice collection of surprises, but you never know with this stuff. Let’s get to it.

From NXT, June 22, 2010.

Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood

Cottonwood is 7’ and he’s forgotten for a reason. Kaval (better known as Low Ki) tries to kick his way out of trouble to start and is quickly thrown into the corner. A bearhug has Kaval in more trouble but he slips out and goes to the middle rope to kick away. Cottonwood misses a clothesline that was eight inches above Kaval’s head and throws him over the top (well mostly over).

Kaval gets in another kick to the head and a springboard double stomp to the back of the head connects for two. Cottonwood isn’t having that and hits his reverse chokeslam (exactly what it sounds like) for the win at 2:43. Cottonwood was terrible and you could definitely see that in full here.

From Raw, January 12, 1998.

Kurrgan vs. Jimmy Cicero/Lance Diamond

Kurrgan has the Jackyl, better known as Don Callis, with him. The team goes after him to start and get splashed in the corner for their efforts. A powerslam plants Cicero as the Jackyl is on commentary, talking about how Mike Tyson would be scared of Kurrgan if anything happens at the Royal Rumble. The claw pins Cicero and the music plays, but then we remember that Kurrgan has to beat both of them. A suplex puts Diamond down and it’s a double pin at 2:24.

Post match Kurrgan destroys a football helmet to show his strength. That’s rather effective. Jackyl slaps Kurrgan to get his attention back.

From WCW Prime, January 29, 1996.

Yeti vs. Barry Houston

So you might remember the Yeti as the mummy who did, uh, things to Hulk Hogan at Halloween Havoc 1995. Well now he’s a masked ninja and happens to still be named Yeti because WCW. Houston gets thrown around to start and hit with a backbreaker. A press slam makes it worse and Yeti chops away in the corner. Houston tries to fight back and is quickly powerslammed for the pin. This was Yeti’s long singles match on TV with the name and gimmick and it’s not hard to see why. He would eventually become Reese in Raven’s Flock to slightly (and I do mean slightly) more success.

From Smackdown, April 10, 2003.

Nathan Jones vs. Bill DeMott

I wouldn’t call DeMott forgotten. Or a giant for that matter. Jones knocks him down to start so DeMott tries a front facelock. That’s broken up with DeMott being sat on and knocked off the top. Back in and a slow motion big boot finishes for Jones at 1:20. Jones had an incredible look but my goodness he was a disaster in the ring. Just absolutely nothing at all and it’s no surprise they pulled the plug fast.

From WCW Saturday Night, July 25, 1998.

Roadblock vs. Lash LaRoux

Roadblock was a big guy who was mainly there to get beaten up by Lex Luger and Goldberg. LaRoux gets stomped down and a clothesline just annoys Roadblock. One heck of a clothesline cuts LaRoux off and Roadblock drops an elbow for two (kind of a surprising kickout). With LaRoux still mostly done, Roadblock goes to the apron and leans on to the rope for a moonsault (the Dead End) and the pin at 1:52. Roadblock wasn’t terrible but he didn’t have a ceiling anywhere above this.

From WWF Super Astros, January 10, 1999.

Giant Silva vs. JR Ryder

Silva knocks him down to start and chokes away in the corner. A boot choke keeps Ryder in trouble and his weak shots to the leg don’t make it better. Silva hits a big chokeslam….and a mini wrestlers dressed as Zorro is on the announcers’ table as Silva gets the pin at 2:48.

From WCW Worldwide, August 23, 1997.

Rick Fuller vs. Kevin Northcutt

Fuller is the giant in question here, while Northcutt would have a cup of coffee in the early days of TNA. Fuller sends him into the ropes to start and hits a spinning kick to drop the also large Northcutt. Something like a hiptoss doesn’t look very good as Northcutt goes into the corner, followed by a running clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Northcut hits a clothesline and kick to the face for two but Fuller knocks him down again. A powerbomb drops Northcutt on his hip and Fuller grabs a half crab for the win at 4:13.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, as Fuller was similar to Roadblock in that he was big but not very good. You’re only going to get so far when you’re coming up around the same time as Goldberg, and I’d bet on Fuller being one of his victims. Another nothing match in a series of them, even with this one getting a bit more time.

From Smackdown, November 20, 2003.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Moore slugs away to start and has his headscissors cut off with pure power. The beating is on, with Morgan hammering him down and adding a big boot. The beal sends Moore flying and a second sends him over the top to the floor. Morgan throws him back inside for two and finishes with a spinning powerbomb at 2:48. Morgan is pretty easily the best of the giants thus far.

From Monday Nitro, February 19, 1996.

Alex Wright vs. Loch Ness

Ness (better known as Giant Haystacks in England) is over 600lbs and shoves Wright down as quickly as you would expect. Wright’s dropkicks don’t get him anywhere so he tries a sleeper. That’s reversed into a bearhug but Wright gets out again. Some more shots just annoy Ness, who swats him out of the corner. The elbow finishes at 2:28.

From Thunder, June 4, 1998.

Reese vs. Van Hammer

The rest of the Flock is here with Reese as we’re getting a double appearance. Reese shoves him into the corner to start, which is rather impressive given Hammer’s size. Some big forearms have Hammer in trouble and an Irish whip, with Reese not letting go, takes him down again. A slightly delayed vertical suplex drops Hammer for two but he jawbreaks his way to freedom. Hammer slugs away and manages to drop Reese with a clothesline. Then Horace jumps up with a stop sign to the head (Schiavone: “He must have gotten that from an intersection!”), allowing Reese to hit a chokebomb for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of why Reese didn’t last long in wrestling. At some point, you need to be able to do something other than just be big and he never figured that out. Nothing to the match of course, though Schiavone’s line about the stop sign made me laugh at how ridiculous it came across.

Post match the beatdown is on to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C-. The problem here is very simple: these people were forgotten for a reason. Other than Morgan, none of them were worth much of anything at this point in their careers and it showed badly. That being said, this is also a great collection of the idea of being larger than life. You do not see people this size elsewhere and getting to see them being physical in a ring is a heck of a spectacle. Presenting a giant in the right way is hard, but if it’s done right, you can get a lot of mileage out of it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with most of these guys, though I did have fun with the flashbacks.

 

 

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Terry Funk Mixtape: Dang He Was Good

Terry Funk Mixtape
Date: 2025
Commentators: Jim Ross, Gordon Solie, Lance Russell, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Verne Gagne, Jim Cornette, Bob Caudle, Terry Funk, Joey Styles, Steve Austin, Bobby Heenan

So this is something that the WWE Vault did last year with Randy Savage and now we’re seeing another version of the same thing with another incredibly talented star. Terry Funk is one of the most well rounded stars in wrestling history and it should be interesting to look back over his career. Let’s get to it.

We open with Terry Funk talking about having a dream where he was on the front porch of the Double Cross Ranch. He was sitting on a swing with his dad when a black limousine came up. A beautiful woman came and said she had run over an ugly animal with big teeth and ears and it smelled bad. Funk’s dad thought it was a jackass but the woman said it smelled like hairspray and cheap cologne. Terry knew that it wasn’t a jackass, but rather Ric Flair! The reality is Flair needs to give up the World Title or Terry will hurt him again.

We get a quick look at Terry dealing with a horse with some intestinal issues.

From Clash Of The Champions IX.

Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk

Flair’s NWA World Title isn’t on the line but he’s giving is up if he loses. Funk, with Gary Hart, is out for more pain after injuring Flair’s neck and possibly ending his career. Before the bell, Funk gives Flair a chance to give up in advance but the bell rings anyway. Flair wastes no time in chopping him out to the floor, with Solie thinking Funk is close to being irrational. How could you tell the difference?

Back in and Flair chops away even more and it’s time to head outside again. Funk gets back in and they trade chokes until Funk can stomp away on the apron. Flair’s chops don’t have much effect as he’s tossed outside, with JR being right there to remind us of the rules every few seconds. Funk hammers away in the aisle and hits him with the microphone before going back inside.

More left hands in the corner let Funk ask Flair if he wants to quit for the first time (“YOU PIG! YOU EGG SUCKING DOG! SAY IT! I SAID SAY IT!”) but Flair isn’t done yet. An atomic drop gets Flair out of trouble but Funk is back with a swinging neckbreaker. Ever the crazy man, Funk slaps him in the face so Flair grabs him by the throat and hits some chops to the floor. Flair chops the fire out of him and takes it back inside but Funk still won’t say it.

A Hart distraction lets Funk get in a cheap shot and there’s another swinging neckbreaker to put Flair down again. Funk asks if Flair wants to quit before he hurts him again but the threat of a piledriver isn’t enough to make him give up. The piledriver still isn’t enough so Funk piledrives him on the floor for a bonus. Flair still won’t quit but Funk takes too long setting up a table.

Flair uses the breather to send him head first into the bottom of the table a few times before going back inside to drop the knee. It’s time to start going after the leg before Flair hits/chops away, with Funk naturally doing the outstanding selling that only he could do. Funk tries to bail up the aisle so Flair chases him down and jumps on his back, setting up a shinbreaker.

A suplex brings Funk back inside but he goes to the eyes to block the Figure Four. Flair suplexes him over the top and onto the apron (that was a bigger deal back then), with the leg getting rammed into the apron again. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Funk says he’ll never give up. Then he quits to retain Flair’s title at 18:48.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s still great as this felt like it was all about the hatred between two guys who wanted to destroy each other. Flair proved that he was the better man in the end and that Funk couldn’t back up his words, which fits both of them rather well. They beat the living fire out of each other and I love that they kept it more simple with the weapons, as a modern version would have been insane. Great match here though, as it was all about the two of them telling a story as only they could.

Post match Funk shakes Flair’s hand, much to Hart’s annoyance.

We see Funk dealing with the horse again. I think this is our official transition shot. Eh it kind of fits.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, January 18, 1997.

Terry Funk is brought in as a surprise for the crowd, but Steve Austin (on commentary) isn’t happy. Funk: “This is my state (Austin: “Wrong.”). This is my town (Austin: “Wrong.”). I’m in the heart of Texas (Austin: “Wrong.”).” Funk talks about how great he is, saying he’s tougher than a rattlesnake and wants to know what number he’s going to be in the Royal Rumble. He wants to be out there at the beginning because George Bush has designated him as the official Texas representative.

Funk wants to start the Rumble RIGHT NOW with Todd Pettingill but then demands better competition. He says there is no one in the WWF or in the WCW to come after him and wants to know where that “Yankee bas****” Vince McMahon is. Funk sees Austin and goes over the barricade to get to him, even offering to lay on the ground for him. Funk walks back to the ring but Austin follows him and gets inside too. They go face to face and Funk slaps him in the face, which is enough for the fight to be on. Funk is knocked out to the floor and the fans go NUTS.

This was totally unhinged Funk and they edited out some of the comments, including Funk calling Pettingill’s mother a who** and JR an “Okie a******”. Bruce Pritchard has claimed that this got the show thrown off some of its networks and it likely led to it being heavily toned down. Either way, it was absolutely awesome to see Funk losing his mind like this and you know Austin was having a great time with the whole thing.

From later in the show, Funk comes after Austin after a match and a huge brawl breaks out with about ten people getting in the ring while Funk and Austin brawl into the crowd. Funk is sent into a beer tub. More awesome stuff.

From Memphis, Tennessee, April 6, 1981.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Funk

Here’s another legendary one as it’s the Empty Arena match at the Mid-South Coliseum. Funk arrives before Lawler and asks broadcaster Lance Russell where Lawler is. Russell also tells Funk to watch his language, which is your weekly definition of a lost cause. Funk demands to know where Lawler is and starts to count him out, getting to ten (rather fast) before going on another rant about how he’s stuck standing around like a fool. He came all the way from Amarillo, Texas and thinks he could have a practice fight with Russell.

Lawler (yes with the crown and cape) finally arrives and Funk is STILL going on about how much he hates Lawler and can’t believe Lawler actually showed up. Funk assures him that there is no Jimmy Hart and no one in the stands to help him so Lawler slowly gets inside as Funk keeps talking, this time offering Lawler one more chance to leave. Funk: “Don’t worry. I don’t need to talk. I’m not the one running my mouth.”

They kind of lock up and fight against the ropes until Funk bails out to the floor. He gets back in and they brawl some more with Funk going outside again. This time Lawler throws him into some empty chairs, which Funk throws back for a miss. Then Funk is thrown over more chairs, because there are a lot of them to use here. Funk starts wandering through the chairs and tells Lawler to leave him alone before grabbing one of the section signs.

Lawler is smart enough to get back in the ring, only for Funk to hit him in the head anyway. Well that didn’t work. They go outside again and Funk hits a piledriver, demanding that Funk say he quits. Lawler is sent into the chairs this time before finding a spike. Rather than stab him, Funk sends him into the timekeeper’s table over and over, with Funk’s high pitched voice being almost creepy as he keeps screaming at Lawler.

They get back inside where Funk tries to stab Lawler’s eye with the spike. Lawler fights out and hits an elbow to the face, allowing him to kick the spike into Funk’s eye. Funk: “MY EYE! MY EYE! DOCTOR HELP ME!” Lawler leaves and we’ll say that’s it at about 5:20 (if you start the clock when they first make contact).

Rating: B. I have no idea what to call this as it’s a totally different kind of fight, which left Lawler as the better man because, as usual, Funk can’t back up what he says. That’s what makes him a great villain and makes Lawler feel like that much more of a hero. That being said, Funk was INCREDIBLE here, with that rant before the match being outstanding and making me wonder what in the world he was going to say next. He never stopped talking throughout the match and it made things that much better.

Post match Lawler leaves and Funk keeps going on about how he needs help but calls Lawler yellow. Funk: “YOU YELLOW PIG! PIG!”

From an ECW banquet, with Funk receiving a lifetime achievement award. It’s just Funk receiving his plaque but I’ve seen the whole thing (which goes on for around an hour) and it’s rather awesome, with all kinds of people paying tribute to Funk and making inside jokes.

From ECW Crossing The Line Again, February 1, 1997.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Rich

Rich bails into the crowd to start and naturally Funk follows him because this is ECW and they like to fight. Somehow Rich is busted open less than thirty seconds in and they go back inside, where Funk starts throwing the left hands. They go right back to the floor where Rich misses a running knee into the barricade. Funk chairs the knee down and they head inside, where Funk sits down in a chair and punches him again.

Rich slugs away for a change and knocks Funk outside, where of course he goes into a table. A posting lets Rich send him over the barricade before going back inside. Funk’s leg is tied up in the ropes for a bit before Rich hits some clotheslines, allowing Funk to stagger around a bit. Funk is busted open so Rich drops an elbow for one. The DDT gives Rich two and another DDT gives Rich another two.

Ever the nice guy, Rich DDTs the referee twice in a row, leaving Funk to roll outside. Rich hammers on the knee with a chair and then does it again inside (he likes repeating things). Funk slugs away and they trade headbutts to leave both of them down. Rich grabs the spinning toehold but Funk breaks it up, knees him low, and puts on the spinning toehold for the win at 10:46.

Rating: B-. I’m not a big ECW guy but this was a violent, bloody brawl which made me want to see Funk fight back and win. Putting Funk in there with another legend made sense and I had a good time watching Funk beat on him, even with Rich being rather basic in his offense. It was nice to see something a bit less famous than the usual stuff from Funk, which is the point of something like this.

Post match Funk kicks him low again, because he’s Terry Funk.

Funk is with Jimmy Hart and explains the concept of taking care of a horse. You have to wash him, keep him well fed, and then walk him down after a ride. Hart doesn’t seem to get it.

We get another interview with Funk talking about how he sold his ranch for a chance to but Madison Square Garden and turn it into a parking lot.

From New York City, New York, July 13, 1985.

Terry Funk vs. Lanny Poffo

For some reason commentary takes awhile to start on this one, as I had a thing written up about how it wasn’t there for some reason. Funk backs him up against the ropes to start but the threat of a right hand has Funk bailing to the ropes in a pratfall. Some chops work a bit better for Funk, so Poffo sends him into the corner for a big upside down crash. Back up and we get a test of strength before Poffo grabs a wristlock and puts a boot on Funk’s face.

With that broken up, Funk knocks him to the floor and calls him a pig, as only Funk can do. I’m sure others can say the word but no one is going to make it sound that way. Poffo gets back in and knocks him over the top again for another breather on the floor. Funk comes back in this time and slowly fires off the left hands in the corner. A headbutt sends Poffo into the corner but it’s too early for the spinning toehold.

Some more headbutts cut Poffo off but he kicks Funk out to the apron without much trouble. Funk suplexes him over the top and down to the floor, though Poffo half lands on his feet to avoid a bad case of extreme pain. A spinning suplex brings Poffo back inside for two and a neckbreaker gets the same. Poffo grabs a sunset flip for two and the bell rings by mistake, which is always weird to see.

They keep going with Funk being laid across the top rope so Poof lays on his back and kicks him in the ribs for a unique spot. The moonsault gives Poffo two (ignore the lack of impact) and Funk is back up with more left hands. A hurricanrana gives Poffo two more, which is insane for 1985 in the Garden. Funk is right back up with a sleeper and Poffo is actually out at 12:58.

Rating: B. Poffo is someone who was in a rather unlucky spot as he is rather talented but there was only so much that you can do when your brother is Randy Savage. He could do some great things in the ring and looked good against just about anyone, with Funk helping him that much more. As usual, Funk was giving another incredible performance and boosting Poffo up, which was impressive as Poffo was already doing his own thing.

Post match Funk brands Poffo and then wakes him up so he’ll feel even more pain. Very nice, very evil.

Funk was talking to his neighbor and asked about various wrestlers’ arms. They were all bigger than Funk’s, but he has a bigger heart. All those muscles make him hot and he’s so hot that he’s….juicy.

We get a promo from Funk just after winning the NWA World Title, putting us in December 1975. Funk finds out that he’s going to face Jack Brisco in a rematch in Tampa, Florida rather than in Amarillo, Texas. He isn’t pleased, but he’ll face Brisco in Tampa as an offensive champion rather than a defensive champion like Brisco was for so long. Gordon Solie brings up Brisco having Funk pinned during the match but he referee was down. Funk: “I don’t recall that at all.” It’s always bizarre to hear Funk talking like a normal human.

From WCW TV, May 20, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Eddie Guerrero

You knew this would be on here. Funk yells at the ring announcer for doing the introduction too soon before he’s ready to go. They circle each other to start before Eddie ducks a left hand against the ropes. Eddie rolls away again and Funk is not pleased with the developments. A kick to the head sends Funk outside and the frustration continues. Back in and Eddie moonsaults over him, only to get caught in a giant swing of all things.

Funk chops away but gets caught with a hurricanrana. Eddie gets caught on Funk’s shoulder and is thrown over the top in a pretty big bump. Funk’s clothesline hits the post though and Eddie hits a heck of a dive from the top. Another dive over the top misses and Funk actually hits a dropkick through the ropes. A piledriver on the floor knocks Eddie loopy for the pin at 5:15.

Rating: B. In a bit of a change of pace, Eddie was the one going nuts here as he was trying to get noticed. Believe it or not, it worked well, with Eddie’s jumps and dives looking great and Funk knowing how to sell them. Funk seems to like making younger wrestlers look good and he more than did so here.

Post match Funk goes into the crowd because….sure.

Funk is in the snow with his horse and tells a story of a man going to a bar and asking for a beer. The man was rather rude and called the bartender a jackass, but then asked for a tequila margarita. The man called him a jackass again, then did the same with a bourbon and water. Finally someone else asked why the bartender put up with this. The bartender said “HEE HAW HEE HAW! He always talks to me like this!”

From Uniondale, New York, December 29, 1997.

Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack/Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. Nation Of Domination

Dark match from after Raw and I believe this was on the Unreleased DVD from a few years back. Austin is in his jean shorts here, likely meaning he didn’t wrestle on the show but is getting in the ring anyway, which is a smart way to send the fans home happy. We stall for a good while after the bell until Jack headlocks Brown to start. Charlie comes in for a double clothesline before intentionally taking Brown over to the corner.

Rock reluctantly comes in and is dragged over for the tag to Austin, sending rock scampering out to the floor. Brown comes back in and gets poked in the eye, allowing Austin to take him into the corner. Again Rock refuses the tag, at least until brown gets in a shot to take over. Austin is right back up to win a slugout and Rock bails to the floor again, only to get decked by Jack.

Faarooq comes in and hammers Jack down but Mustafa misses a charge in the corner. Brown is back in to cut Jack off, only to miss an elbow. Jack manages to get in something of a low blow on Faarooq and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Everything breaks down and Austin Stuns Rock for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C+. Sweet goodness what a lineup here. What does it say about a match when D’Lo Brown and the future Godfather are by far the weakest names in the ring? It’s a total all star match and the action itself doesn’t matter. It was cool just seeing these legends get in there together and then Austin wins the thing to send the fans home happy. Good, easy match here and that’s all it needed to be.

We go to Thunder in 2000 where Funk and Chris Candido fight into a horse stall, where Funk hits a piledriver and the horse literally kicks Candido out. That could have gone FAR worse.

Funk talks about the infamous “throw me a chair” incident in ECW, continuing the trend of “that could have gone FAR worse”.

From Wrestlepalooza 1997 (what a great name).

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido

Funk is defending and Candido, in similar tights (like he had in WCW, which would NEVER copy ECW), goes to the mat for a technical off to start. A headlock and shoulder block go a bit better for Funk and he sends Candido outside for a breather. Back in and Candido fires off the chops against the ropes, meaning it’s Funk going outside for a breather this time.

They both go outside for a change but this time Candido wants to take it back inside. Naturally he then sends Funk outside again and they brawl into the crowd. Candido gets in a shot off the barricade as they come back to ringside, where Funk is piledriven onto an open chair. Another piledriver through a table doesn’t quite work as the table breaks on the way up.

Back in and three straight piledrivers get two on Funk, with the fans barely reacting. Three straight neckbreakers give Candido two more and another onto a bridge made of chairs finally wakes the fans up. Funk comes back with a neckbreaker of his own but Candido cuts him off with a hurricanrana. Candido slaps him in the face for not staying down and is promptly crucifixed for the pin to retain at 12:54.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one as much but it told a story of Funk continuing until Candido made a mistake by getting too angry, allowing Funk to catch him. It got a bit ridiculous with the piledrivers, but logic never had the biggest place in ECW. Not a bad match, but it actually told a story which is always appreciated.

Funk and Jimmy Hart are around a fire at the Double Cross Ranch and Hart thinks there are werewolves.

We go to Florida, Funk shows us a big wooden guy, which is called a Dusty. You have a 150lb frame, with 50lbs of obesity, 50lbs of hot air and 50lbs of extra fat. Funk then whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the limbs, as Funk is not the most well man. When you cut everything away from the Dusty and breed the remains with a barmaid, you get a Dustin, which is a creature that can’t say NO. This was Funk being totally insane and as usual it was great.

We get some clips of Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes, with Dusty breaking Funk’s arm with an armbar for the win. Dory Funk Jr. has to run in for the save and the fans aren’t happy, because Dusty was the king in Florida. Naturally the Funks break Dusty’s arm and are probably about to be massacred.

Funk explains the idea of hardcore, which is being physical rather than using a bunch of weapons. Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker are hardcore.

From Puerto Rico, possibly from July 2, 1988.

Terry Funk vs. TNT

We’re in a baseball stadium here for a really unique look and TNT is better known as Savio Vega. Commentary mentions that this is part of a tournament of some kind, which could be anything really. Funk runs away and climbs the scaffold before the bell before diving underneath the ring, where the bell rings. The fight goes into the crowd and Funk gets the better of things before taking it back to the ring. Funk hammers away but gets kicked back, allowing TNT to post him. For some reason TNT covers him on the ground, which of course doesn’t count.

TNT rams him into the scaffolding and they go back inside, where Funk grabs a sleeper. That’s broken up and TNT kicks him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. Funk gets tied in the ropes, which commentary says is “reminiscent of Ali vs. Foreman.” What kind of weird Ali vs. Foreman match did they see? Funk throws in a table and they fight over it, with the referee getting taken out for the double DQ at 5:50.

Rating: C. Barely a match here as it was instead more of a wild brawl. They beat each other up until the ending which seemed to be designed to avoid either of them taking a loss. The stadium did make things feel that much different and it was fun to see these guys doing something so unique. Not a great match, but it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match the fight continues and they climb the scaffolding.

We get an outtake of Dean Ambrose looking very confused as Funk tells him what to do to a chicken with a chainsaw.

From the AWA, March 10, 1985.

Terry Funk/Steve Regal/Nick Bockwinkel vs. Curt Hennig/High Fliers

Bockwinkel backs Gagne against the ropes to start and that goes nowhere. Gagne is right back with a hiptoss into a dropkick and Bockwinkel rolls outside for a breather. Funk comes in for some left hands before it’s off to Regal, who is quickly backdropped by Hennig. Brunzell comes in to clean house and it’s back to Funk to slug away.

They fight over a suplex until Brunzell takes him down as we suddenly have two minutes left. Bockwinkel comes in and avoids a dropkick, setting up the sleeper. Gagne finally reverses and grabs one of his own as everything breaks down. Bockwinkel and Gagne collide for a double down and it’s another big brawl as time expires at 6:40 (must be a TV time thing).

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but that was often the case for a lot of AWA stuff. There were talented wrestlers in there but they only had a little under seven minutes with six people. Funk didn’t really get to do much here and it felt more like a way to get something from the AWA on the set.

We go back to the ECW banquet where Funk gives a Terry Roosevelt quote, despite Roosevelt never taking a bump in his life. The quote is about someone doing something daring and knowing neither victory nor defeat. He talks about how wrestlers have compassion and has his family stand to give the ECW roster and fans a standing ovation. Well that was awesome.

Funk and Jimmy Hart are on the Double Cross Ranch and Funk loves to come here and imagine beating up people like Hulk Hogan, Tito Santana and the Junkyard Dog. For some reason Hart asks if they have buffalo out here and Funk says they don’t. Then everyone stops and the crew cracks up, with Hart saying he doesn’t know why he asked that.

From Shotgun Saturday Night, June 16, 1998.

Dustin Runnels/Terry Funk/Bradshaw vs. Jerry Lawler/Too Much

Too Much is the evil version of Too Cool. Runnels (Rhodes) and Taylor start things off with Runnels shouldering him down. Taylor gets thrown down for a faceplant before Bradshaw comes in for a big boot. Commentary ignores most of the match to talk about tomorrow’s Steve Austin vs. Kane match at King Of The Ring as Bradshaw gives Taylor a belly to back superplex.

Christopher comes in for a shoulder in the corner but stops to dance, allowing Funk to come in for quite the reaction. Funk wants Lawler though and we get a reunion of a feud that would be way more over in Tennessee. Naturally Cornette is right there to give us a quick recap of Funk vs. Lawler as the latter hits a piledriver. Funk is right back up (we’re definitely not in Tennessee) with a backdrop to send Lawler outside for some rams into the announcers’ table.

Back in and Lawler looks mostly done so Christopher comes in and gets DDTed. Funk piledrives Lawler right back so it’s off to Runnels vs. Taylor, with Christopher getting in a trip from the floor. Too Much hits a Hart Attack as commentary thinks Mankind might be a bit violent inside the Cell tomorrow against the Undertaker. Christopher’s bulldog is broken up and Runnels rolls over for the tag to Bradshaw (with Funk literally falling over the top rope to try for the tag). The powerbomb hits Christopher for two and everything breaks down. The Texans hit stereo backdrops and the Clothesline From Bradshaw finishes Christopher at 8:53.

Rating: B-. For a match that was designed to be Texas vs. Tennessee, this wound up being a surprisingly good match. It was nice to see the Funk vs. Lawler stuff and they let Cornette go with his history lesson. Good match here and I never would have guessed that was coming given the lineup.

Funk talks about great promos coming from someone’s heart and soul rather than having them written by someone else.

We get a promo from Funk as NWA World Champion and talking about what it means for him to be the champion. He introduces the new president of the NWA, Eddie Graham. Funk thinks the two of them can work together to pick the best opponents, who can make sure that Funk remains the champion for a long time. Hold on though as Graham says Funk will have to take the opponents as they come. Funk is a bit taken aback but Graham says that’s how it is.

From 50 Years Of Funk, September 11, 1997.

Bret Hart vs. Terry Funk

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line, there are no DQ’s and Dennis Stamp has been booked to be the guest referee. Before the match, Funk’s family and some ECW wrestlers get in the ring for a special presentation to Funk. Paul Heyman talks about how ECW got where it is today because of Funk.

Back in 1993, ECW was started with the help of the Funk Brothers and Terry helped make it what it is today. Heyman presents Terry with a special title, naming him ECW World Champion for life. Everyone else leaves and Hart gets the mic and, after being booed out of the building (remember that he’s a huge heel in the WWF at this point), says it’s an honor to work with the best wrestler in history.

Hart talks about getting to be in Amarillo when he was younger and he saw the best wrestling he’s ever seen in this town. He shakes Funk’s hand and praises his career and promises a Canadian a** whipping. They start slowly with Hart taking an early breather before getting caught in a headlock.

That goes on for a bit until Hart gets up, only to be fireman’s carried back into the headlock. Hart has to fight out of the spinning toehold and starts kicking at the knee. Some choking lets Hart knock him out to the apron before it’s time to go back to the leg. The leg is wrapped around the knee and Hart cranks on it on the mat as they clearly have a lot of time here. Hart knocks him outside again and chairs the knee before throwing it back inside for the Figure Four.

Naturally Funk swears at Hart a lot before making it to the ropes, which shouldn’t force a break in a No DQ match. Funk grabs the Hart Family at ringside and the hold is finally broken. Hart unloads with right hands but Funk isn’t about to lose a slugout, so he punches Hart back down. A neckbreaker and DDT give Funk two and a piledriver gets the same as we get the fifteen minute call.

Funk takes it to the floor and sends Hart hard into a chair. Hart fights back again and gets the Figure Four around the post before cranking on the leg back inside. Some chair shots to the knee have Funk in more trouble but he gets in a shot of his own. Funk chairs Hart in the knee (Hart’s selling is great) to send him outside onto a table, only for Funk to miss a Vader Bomb.

The Hart Brothers argue with Stamp (who has been a total non-factor thus far) as the ring announcer asks the fans standing in the front row to sit down. Hart drops a headbutt between the legs but Funk gets a small package with a kind of all over the place count from Stamp. The spinning toehold goes on but Hart escapes and hits a clothesline. Back up and they collide to give Funk a rather delayed two as things slow back down. Funk grabs a belly to back suplex but Hart gets the shoulder up and pins him at 25:23.

Rating: B-. This was really just more long than good, with both of them doing their thing but never getting that into the next level. For some reason it just kind of kept going without much of a reason to believe that Funk was going to win. That wasn’t really the point of the match, but it just never really clicked for some reason. Not a bad match at all, but definitely not great. The point here was to have Funk’s last match in Amarillo (this was not Funk’s last match in Amarillo), though it would have been nice to have it be a bit better.

Post match we get something of a discussion over whether or not Funk’s shoulders were down before respect is shown. Funk says he has no complaints about the match tonight or the Funk Family’s trip here. And that’s that.

Funk is back on his ranch and is looking for Eddie Gilbert, who is supposed to meet him out here. Gilbert needs to learn the rules of a Texas chain match but Funk can’t find him anywhere. Then he sees the back of the horse (named Clyde) and realizes he’s found Gilbert (with a graphic saying “Eddie Gilbert” to really make the joke that much better).

From NWA Power Hour, August 4, 1989.

Sting/Steve Williams vs. Terry Funk/Terry Gordy

Gary Hart is with the Terry’s. The bell rings a few times and it’s Sting starting with Funk. Sting wastes no time in knocking him outside, meaning it’s already time to hit the stall button. Back in and Sting knocks him to the floor again, where a fan gets up and slaps his stomach before bending over in front of the Terry’s. JR: “Someone needs to get that guy back on his medicine.”

Gordy comes in and tries to throw Sting outside for a double teaming but Sting is way too smart (work with me here) and gets back inside. The fans chant something a bit sweary at Funk so of course he jumps the barricade before going back to ringside. Sting hits a crossbody for two on Gordy but gets sent into the buckle to cut that off. Williams comes in for a three point shoulder on Gordy, which connects in a miracle of violence. Back up and Williams is thrown outside for a change, with Funk sending him over and then into the barricade.

A piledriver gets two on Williams as the fans are still all over Funk. One heck of a clothesline gives Gordy two and the Terry’s hammer away, with Funk wanting to work on the neck. Then he tries the spinning toehold but gets small packaged, followed by a double clothesline. Williams gets over to Sting for the tag and a piledriver plants Funk. Sting gets caught in the corner for a hard clothesline but everything breaks down. Hart is brought in and that’s enough for the villains to get disqualified at 11:23.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but wound up being a good tag match. As usual, Funk got to steal the show by driving the fans into a frenzy and then playing off of them. It worked well and you could see Sting’s star power coming out. It was kind of a weird set of pairings, but it wound up being fun.

Post match the big brawl is on and Funk hits Sting with a branding iron. Williams takes it away though and clears the ring without much trouble.

Back to the ranch and Funk is accidentally put in some stocks. He calls this his own ways of training, just like Hulk Hogan has. Hogan is everywhere but Funk is middle aged and crazy. He promises to ruin Hogan’s life one way or another because he wants the WWF Title.

Funk looks at a photo of himself and Mick Foley and talks about how great Foley really is.

From Monday Night Raw, May 4, 1998.

Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk

Anything goes, falls count anywhere and Steve Austin is on commentary. At the time, this was the first match that Foley had ever wrestled in the WWF under his own name. He has no music or gimmick here, as he’s in between Faces Of Foley at the moment. There’s no referee so here is Pat Patterson (Vince’s stooge, as this is part of Foley trying to get back in Vince’s good graces) to be the referee (Austin isn’t happy). Funk slugs away to start and knocks him outside, where Foley rakes the back.

Some NASTY chair shots to the head rock Foley to bust him open but he fights back. Austin’s headset breaks so he steals Lawler’s, which breaks as well, sending Austin into a great rant about how mad this stuff makes him. Then he punches Lawler to blow off some steam, which has JR begging off and pleading innocence. Austin: “Jiminy H. Cricket on a popsickle stick somebody help me out here.”

Funk chairs Foley and sends him into the steps as this is getting a lot more violent in a hurry. Foley cuts off a charge with a raised bo…, uh, shoe but Funk backdrops him onto the exposed concrete. Funk throws him through the barricade and they fight into the crowd (Austin: “This is quality entertainment!”). They fight to the concession stand and JR LOSES IT as the hot dog guy is knocked down.

Since it’s Funk, he climbs into a balcony and moonsaults back onto Foley and some referees to put everyone down. Back up and Foley piledrives him through a table and they crawl underneath the bleachers as we take a break. We come back with a clip of Foley beating Funk up during the break and Patterson possibly counting slow.

They go back into the arena, where Foley hits a piledriver onto the ramp for two. Funk is thrown onto the announcers’ table (Austin doesn’t like someone getting that close to his beer or his belt) for the chair elbow off the apron. Foley goes after Austin though and staring ensues but he takes Funk back inside instead. A double arm DDT and piledriver plant Funk and another piledriver onto the chair finishes Funk at 16:31.

Rating: B+. This was a brutal fight and showed what hardcore could be like in the WWF. It was interesting to see Foley by himself for a change as part of the bigger story and dang did they beat each other up. They were playing up the personal connection as well and that made things that much better. Awesome fight and one of the best violence based matches ever on Raw.

Post match Funk is upset that his best friend beat him up that badly.

We go to St. Louis during Dory Funk Jr.’s NWA World Title reign (putting this in the late 60s/early 70s) where Dory Funk Sr. takes us to an empty arena where his sons are training. Sr. says that he’s taught his kids 95% of what he knows but he always holds something back just in case he needs to do something. They trade some takedowns and everything goes fine, at least to start. This goes on for a long time with Dory Jr. getting the better of things. Terry gets a bit more serious and tries to slam his dad before calming down.

From NWA Pro, July 29, 1989.

Terry Funk vs. Scott Hall

From Amarillo so Funk is crazy over. Funk starts fast and knocks him outside, earning quite the cheers. Back in and Hall chops the heck out of him before a running clothesline sends Funk outside. Funk pulls the ring mats back and tries the piledriver, which is quickly cut off by the referee. They get back inside for a collision before Hall hits a running clothesline into a bulldog out of the corner. Another bulldog gets two on Funk but he blocks another attempt on the floor, sending Hall onto the exposed concrete. Back in and the piledriver finishes Hall at 4:17.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a great match as much as “here’s Funk against someone who would become a legend one day”. That’s the kind of rare match that makes sense for this compilation, as it felt more like someone went through the archives and found fun stuff. Hall’s hair and mustache alone are worth a look.

Funk praises Tommy Dreamer for trying so hard. Dreamer reminds Funk of Dory Funk Sr., who wanted to be the World Champion. Then Dory had a major heart attack and died on his way to the hospital. Now Terry wants to win the World Title from Raven for his dad’s memory. Can’t get much better than that.

From Barely Legal.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Raven

Funk is challenging after winning a three way dance just before. Raven hammers away as Tommy Dreamer, on commentary, talks about how Funk isn’t going out like this. The fans want Dreamer to come in and take Funk’s place (which I always thought would be a great way to end the show) but Raven beats on Funk even more. The doctor still can’t get in there to break it up as Raven suplexes a table onto Funk. Raven puts him on a table and hits a big running dive, which is enough for Raven to call out the Nest.

They beat on Funk a bit more and Raven grabs the mic, promising to end Funk at Dreamer’s feet. Dreamer tells him to bring it so here is Big Dick Dudley to jump Dreamer from behind. Raven DDTs the referee just because, but Dreamer fights up and chokeslams Dudley out of the Eagle’s Nest through three tables (ok so Dudley clearly jumped by it was a huge bump). Now Dreamer comes to the ring to DDT Raven for two, leaving Funk to get a small package for the pin and the title at 7:12.

Rating: C-. As tends to be the case with ECW, the match wasn’t so much the point, but rather the moment of Funk getting the big win to close out the show. It’s the definition of a feel good moment after a nothing match, as Funk barely had any offense for the whole thing. Funk winning the title at the same age his father died makes it even better.

Funk gets to celebrate in the crowd with Dreamer to end the show (with the feed going out ten seconds after they went off the air because the ECW Arena couldn’t handle that kind of power needs).

Some cowboys come up on Funk and Jimmy Hart at the ranch, accusing them of being cow thieves. Funk beats two of them up (Hart: “Beautiful!”) and the third rides away, with Funk calling him a SQUEALER!

From Slamboree 1994.

Terry Funk vs. Tully Blanchard

It’s the Legends match from the show. Funk goes out into the crowd and since this show is in Philadelphia, of course he’s crazy over. Blanchard gets tired of waiting and goes to the floor to start the brawl. They get back inside where Blanchard hits a middle rope knee but the referee has to get rid of some crutches. An atomic drop plants Blanchard and a neckbreaker does it again back inside. The fight goes back to the ramp, with a big chop sending Blanchard off to the floor.

Funk finds a piece of wood and piledrives Blanchard through it (ignore the camera showing that Blanchard’s head doesn’t come within a foot of the board and Funk broke it entirely) as Heenan compares the Funk brothers’ demeanors. The fans want blood as Funk hits a regular piledriver, only to miss the moonsault. Back up and Funk whips him into the referee so it’s time for a chair. Funk loads up another chair and tries a middle rope piledriver but it kind of falls apart. Blanchard shoves the referee as Funk has the branding iron so the whole thing is thrown out at 7:15.

Rating: C+. They were protecting both guys here rather well but it wound up being a good enough fight all things considering. Blanchard on his own is always kind of weird but at least it isn’t a match that feels like it has been done over and over. The piledriver with the board was lame, though understandable as it was more on the camera than anything else.

Post match Funk grabs Hat Guy’s hat and drops an elbow on it before taking a bite.

We wrap it up with Funk’s Hall Of Fame induction, with Funk thanking his family. His grandkids want to be wrestlers but they have to get an education first, because there is no room for dummies in WWE (….uh….). Funk thanks his friends, peers, ECW and the other wrestlers.

We get the Theodore Roosevelt quote from the ECW banquet before he says the bell rings no more. He feels 105 and he’s ready to go to Heaven where there’s an eternal battle royal and every seat is front row. Funk says this is the last time you’ll see himself and his brother and dances a bit. Naturally, he would wrestle for another eight years after this.

Overall Rating: B+. The idea here was a huge tribute to Funk and that worked like a charm. The biggest thing I can take away from this is just how incredible of a talent Funk really was, as he can make anything work well. He’s a human cartoon character with his bumps and the swearing makes it even better. Looking back at the outstanding mixture of matches of different genres was outstanding and you could see how interested he was in helping younger stars get over. This was all kinds of fun and I’m hoping we see a lot more of these mixtapes in the future, as they’re an outstanding way to showcase legends’ talents.

 

 

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WWE Vault Dark Match Collection: Eh

Dark Matches
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

So this is exactly what it is described as from the WWE Vault: a 35 minute collection of dark matches from over the years. To the best of my knowledge, there is no commentary or anything other than the action itself, which means I’m going to be VERY limited in what I can do with some of this stuff. Still though, it’s exactly the kind of fun content that you do not get elsewhere so let’s get to it.

Note that most of the dates and locations are from what I can find elsewhere and putting some pieces together so they might not be entirely perfect.

From Montreal, Quebec, Canada, July 7, 2003 before Monday Night Raw.

Pierre Carl Oulette vs. El Tornado

Oulette powers him down to start and hits an early backdrop with Tornado (who was still wrestling in 2024 but pretty much never left Canada) bailing to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope staggers Oulette but he comes out of the corner with a heck of a clothesline.

The big running flip dive to the floor misses (OUCH) and Tornado takes him back inside for a quickly broken chinlock. Oulette hits a chokeslam and sitout pumphandle slam but a bulldog out of the corner is broken up. Tornado rolls him up for two but gets caught on top, with Oulette hitting a t-bone superplex (you don’t see that very often). The Cannonball (Swanton) finishes Tornado at 4:46.

Rating: C+. This was likely either a tryout match for Oulette or just an appeal to the local fans and I’ve seen far worse. Oulette is a guy with some size who can do some crazy stuff in the ring and he had it on display here. Good stuff with Tornado being serviceable enough, but this was pretty much all about Oulette, as it should have been.

From New York City, New York, August 7, 2000 before Monday Night Raw.

Mean Street Posse vs. Low Ki/Vince Goodnight

Goodnight is an east coast guy who mostly retired in 2001 but keeps coming back every six or seven years for a few matches. The Posse jumps them to start and get sent outside, where Low Ki is right there for a huge twisting flip dive. Back in and Goodnight gets whipped into Ki to knock him off the apron, where Gas gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.

Back in and Rodney hammers away in the corner, followed by Gas hitting a spinning slam to drop him again. A Hennig necksnap keeps Ki in trouble and the Posse gets to stomp away. Gas chokes in the corner as Ki gets beaten up even more. Ki finally avoids a charge and hits a superkick, allowing the tag off to Goodnight. Everything breaks down and Ki just unloads with about twelve straight kicks to Rodney’s face. Gas hits the Gas Mask (a reverse full nelson sitout powerbomb, actually not a bad move) to pin Goodnight at 4:45 (while Rodney hits a pretty random Blockbuster on Ki).

Rating: D+. To call this a total mess would be an understatement, as you had Ki with his martial arts and flipping style being about ten years ahead of its time and Goodnight just being a guy with long hair. At the same time though, the Posse was just not good enough to be at this level and it was showing more and more every time they were in the ring. It was fun to have them as Shane McMahon’s bodyguards and lackeys, but having them try to do actual matches was just bad. Ki stood out the most of course, but that shouldn’t be anything close to a surprise.

From New York City, New York, August 1, 2006 before ECW On Sci Fi

FBI vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

London and Kendrick’s Smackdown Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. This is from the Hammerstein Ballroom and for some reason Joey Styles and Tazz are doing commentary (I wonder if this was meant to be a DVD extra or something). Guido (whose trunks say Nunzio), who is very taped up, shakes hands with Kendrick to start things off before getting armdragged down a few times.

They go to the mat to no avail and that’s a standoff. Mamaluke comes in and London stomps on his arm, with Kendrick adding an elbow to said arm. London and Kendrick take turns on the arm as we settle down to a pretty basic style. Guido comes back in and gets dropped by a springboard high crossbody, followed by double dropkicks. We get what seems to be some miscommunication as everything breaks down and London slugs it out with Mamaluke on the floor.

Guido chinlocks Kendrick back inside, which seems like a way to get things back under control (as you’re supposed to do). Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors on Kendrick before Guido knees him in the head for two. Kendrick finally rolls away from a charge and hands it back to London to pick up the pace. The dropsault hits Guido and Mamaluke has to make the save.

Mamaluke seems to screw something up by kicking Kendrick in the face, setting up a flip dive from the apron. London’s big running flip dive COMPLETELY misses and he lands hard on the floor (Kendrick DIVES on him to make sure he’s ok) and we’re clipped to London being back inside and Kendrick hitting Sliced Bread #2, setting up a step up shooting star press to give London the pin on Guido at 9:56 shown.

Rating: C. This was a weird match with the commentary pausing at random moments and a bit less of an over the top style from Styles. That being said, it wasn’t a bad match as you had two teams who can work a pretty fast paced style. That crash landing from London was terrible and there were some other botched, but it was a match that got some time and could have been better with a few less mistakes.

From Memphis, Tennessee, September 18, 2001 before Monday Night Raw.

Kid Kash vs. Justin Credible

It’s rare to see two names against each other, even in an ECW reunion. Feeling out process to start until Kash snaps off a headscissors to send Credible outside. A twisting dive takes Credible down again and it’s weird to be stuck on the hard cam shot rather than going down to see them on the floor. Back in and Credible hits his running spinning DDT, allowing him to do his signature thing of yelling at the crowd.

Credible stomps and chokes away before grabbing the chinlock as fans are filing in and trying to find their seats. That’s broken up and Kash knocks him down before being kicked into the corner, only to come down head first with a low blow (Sting approves). Kash is back up with his own spinning DDT for two, followed by a rather crazy spinning hurricanrana from the top. Credible sidesteps a moonsault though and hits a superkick (not bad either) for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. I’ve never gotten the appeal of Credible and that was on full display here. There is nothing about him that makes him stand out and having him yell at the crowd over and over isn’t the best way to go. Kash was doing his usual flippy stuff and it worked well enough, but getting over Credible is a heck of a task to pull off.

From Richmond, Virginia, April 28, 1998 before Monday Night Raw.

Steve Williams vs. Scorpio

This could be interesting. Williams shoves him down without much trouble to start (shocking I know) and then wrestles him down, with Scorpio bailing over to the ropes. Back up and Williams slowly hammers away but does stop to block a hiptoss attempt. Scorpio gets caught in a gorilla press (and looks terrified) and sent outside as this is domination so far. Back in and Scorpio gets in a few shots but Williams calmly punches him out of the air in a so simple it’s awesome counter.

The seated crossarm choke goes on for a good while but Scorpio finally gets out and chops away. A knee lift sends Williams into the corner and he misses a charge, allowing Scorpio to get a belly to back suplex. Scorpio hits a top rope forearm to the head for two and a running spinning kick gets the same. A handspring clothesline in the corner drops Williams but he’s back up to pull a moonsault out of the air. Williams’ powerslam gets two but Scorpio flips onto him for two of his own. Williams hits a spinebuster and some three point shoulders, followed by a belly to back suplex for the pin at 9:17.

Rating: C-. This was ok but it went on far too long. Eventually Williams looked like he was running out of things to do. It didn’t help that Scorpio was mostly beaten up for such a long stretch as it turned into waiting for the match to end already. Nothing much to see here, which is a shame as the talent involved could have made it good.

Overall Rating: C. Maybe it was due to having fun with the squash match collection, but this was pretty disappointing. Not only was there nothing overly notable, but none of the matches were anything worth seeing. There are some good dark matches out there, but this was just a bunch of random stuff and it was only so interesting. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it didn’t quite hit.

 

 

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WWE Vault: One Sided Beatdowns: Oh I Loved This

One-Sided Beatdowns
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Paul E. Dangerously, Lance Russell, Joey Styles, Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette, Tony Schiavone, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Kevin Sullivan, Tommy Dreamer, Todd Grisham

So this is something that WWE put together on the Vault, which is basically a 40 minute collection of squash matches. That is the kind of thing which can make for some fun violence, as some of those squashed can be all kinds of entertaining. I’m going into this mostly blind so this should be good. Let’s get to it.

Little bit of a weird thing here: on YouTube, the identifications on some of the matches are all over the place, with Big E. being listed instead of Sid Vicious, a match with Bayley on commentary listing her in the match and some other names being nowhere near close. No idea what’s up with that.

From Monday Night Raw, December 10, 2001.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Spike Dudley

Undertaker is defending and Spike throws in a bunch of weapons before the bell, with Undertaker swatting a trashcan out of the air. Undertaker doesn’t care so Spike goes and sits on his motorcycle, which is enough to start the destruction. The beating begins on the floor and Spike is thrown inside for a hard right to the head.

Spike is tied in the Tree of Woe (which Lawler seems to have never heard of before) but he gets out for a low blow. Some trashcan lids to the head just annoy Undertaker, who smashes him in the head with the same lid. Undertaker drives a forearm over Spike’s face and the Last Ride onto a trashcan retains at 2:36. This wasn’t quite one sided but ticked off Undertaker can be most enjoyable.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams him over the top and out to the floor (OUCH).

From WCW Main Event, August 27, 1989.

Sid Vicious vs. Lee Scott

Sid hits a big clothesline and the fans are just going nuts for him. A gorilla press to the floor lets Sid throw him back inside. The helicopter slam sets up the powerbomb to complete the destruction at 1:30. This was GREAT as Sid absolutely massacred him.

From ECW On Sci Fi, August 1, 2006.

Kurt Angle vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Commentary doesn’t think much of Brawler’s chances. The ankle lock sends Brawler straight to the ropes to start so Angle beats him up there instead. A headbutt and ankle lock finish Brawler at 1:10.

From Monday Night Raw, June 19, 1995.

Shawn Michaels vs. Gus Kantarrakis

The name graphic has two R’s in the latter’s name but everything else I can find shows just one. Not a good sign when even the company can’t bother getting your name right. Michaels shoulders him down to start and runs the ropes…but has to stop and pick him up. They get back up and Michaels hits another shoulder so he can ride on Gus’ back for the comedy.

Michaels gets Gus to chase him on the floor and then has a seat in the front row. Gus’ cheap shot doesn’t work as commentary ignores the match to talk about celebrity news. Back in and Gus manages a right hand to the ribs and slows Michaels down but he easily sends Gus outside. A suplex on the floor has Gus in more trouble and the superkick knocks him silly out there as well. Back in and the fans want it one more time so Michaels basically Weekend At Bernie’s him into another superkick for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C. Gus was another level of useless here as he had a weird look and Michaels was almost wrestling himself at times. That being said, this was the goofy Michaels who felt like a star no matter what he was doing and there was no way to avoid putting the title on him next year.

From WCW TV, May 10, 1986.

Midnight Express vs. Mulkey Brothers

Naturally Jim Cornette is here with the Express and even jumps on commentary. Condrey backdrops Randy to start as Cornette says tomorrow is Mother’s Day so he loves Mama Cornette…and wants his allowance. Randy is taken outside and suplexed onto the concrete before Bill comes in, only to be tossed outside as well. Back in and Bill’s face is rubbed into the mat as Cornette calls out Dusty Rhodes and Magnum TA.

A belly to back superplex plants Bill again as Cornette WILL NOT SHUT UP, which is what made him a legend. Bill is sent hard into the corner and a butterfly suplex gives Eaton one, as he pulls Bill up over and over. Randy comes in and actually scores with some punches to Condrey, who suplexes him right back down. A good looking top rope elbow hits Randy and Condrey finally finishes with what would be better known as the Skull Crushing Finale at 4:53.

Rating: C+. The Midnights turned the tag team squash into an art form and the Mulkeys were some of the best targets they could have had. It wouldn’t have been right to leave the Midnights off of something like this as they really were great at what they did. Throw in Cornette ranting at everyone he could think of and it was a lot of fun.

From Monday Nitro, June 1, 1998.

US Title: Goldberg vs. La Parka

Goldberg is defending, gets hit in the head with a chair before the bell, and runs through him with the spear and Jackhammer to retain at 28 seconds. Well you knew Goldberg was going to be on this show.

From Monday Night Raw, July 25, 2016.

Braun Strowman vs. James Ellsworth

Ellsworth hides in the corner at the bell and then thinks it’s a good idea to come up swinging. Strowman throws him into the corner and hits a big boot to the chest, setting up a running splash. A reverse chokeslam finishes Ellsworth at 1:10. Yeah that worked.

From WCW TV, December 16, 1989.

Steiner Brothers vs. Cactus Jack Manson/Rick Fargo

Rick (Steiner, in case you thought Fargo mattered) backs Manson up against the ropes and then slaps the fire out of him. Believe it or not, Jack is kind of into the pain so Scott comes in for a backdrop. Manson fights up with an elbow for two but Scott knocks him outside rather quickly.

Back in and it’s off to Fargo and I don’t see this going well. Scott suplexes him down with ease and a super fall away slam drops Fargo again. We cut to some shots of the crowd and come back to Rick neck cranking Fargo, followed by some riding on the mat. Back up and the Steiner Line puts Fargo down again, setting up the Frankensteiner for the pin at 4:46.

Rating: C-. This was there for the sake of having the Steiners and Jack in the same match but there wasn’t much to it. The Steiners could beat up just about anyone and that’s what they did here. It just wasn’t that entertaining and was more about name value, but I can go with something like this on a big compilation.

From NXT, August 3, 2016.

Asuka vs. Aliyah

Bayley is on commentary but Asuka offers her a seat on the ramp to watch closer. Asuka snapmares Aliyah down as the fans sing for Bayley, whose confidence has been wrecked by Asuka taking the Women’s Title from her. A hip attack drops Aliyah again and Asuka chokes her in the ropes while looking down at Bayley. Another hip attack in the ropes drops Aliyah again and Asuka kicks her out of the air for two, with Asuka pulling her up. A Buzzsaw Kick sets up the Asuka Lock for the tap at 2:28. Nice story advancement with the squash.

From Sunday Night Heat, October 28, 2004.

Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Riddick

Tomko powers him into the corner to start and hits a spinebuster before hammering away. Some forearms on the mat have Riddick in more trouble and Tomko throws him outside. Tomko isn’t having any of this comeback and kicks Riddick outside, which is enough for the referee to call it at 1:48. Riddick was bumping like crazy here.

From Superstars, February 6, 1993.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bob East/Pete Christie

The Brothers beat on the first one before handing it off to the second one. As we get a look at the latest WWF Magazine, the Brothers hit the Shaker Heights Spike (a flapjack into a faceplant) but the guy over rotates and comes down HARD on his head, thankfully for the pin at 1:28. That was on highlight reels for a good while and could have been a lot worse.

From WCW TV, March 3, 1990.

Kevin Sullivan/Buzz Sawyer vs. Robbie Idol/Zan Panzer

Sawyer is a known nutjob who takes over on Idol. Sullivan comes in for some chops and stomps Idol in the face. It’s back to Sawyer for more chopping before it’s off to Panzer, which makes Sawyer laugh. Sawyer sits on Panzer’s neck as we hear about various upcoming house shows. Sullivan ties Idol in the Tree Of Woe for the running knee and Sawyer, looking a bit nuts (understatement), adds his great top rope splash. Naturally Sawyer pulls him up at two and hits another splash but pulls him up again…and the referee disqualifies Sawyer at 4:13. For what? Beating him up too much?

Rating: C. Not great ending aside, this was another destruction with those splashes looking great. At the same time, Sullivan and his Slaughterhouse (also including Cactus Jack) never did much for me and that was the case again here. They’re a perfectly fine midcard monster team and that’s about it, which only gets them so far.

Post match Sawyer beats him up some more and Sullivan leaves, with a bunch of wrestlers having to come drag Sawyer off of Idol. They can’t quite do it though, instead picking BOTH of them up at once for a unique visual to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. I had a GREAT time with this and it is the kind of thing that shows just how much the people running the channel appreciate wrestling. They mixed in a huge variety here and some of them were incredibly entertaining. Just a great little package of fun stuff and worth a look if you want something to the point and exactly as advertised, with nothing breaking five minutes.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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