Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2016: Quality, Not Interest

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2016
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another special show tonight as we have Lockdown, meaning everything is inside a steel cage, even if the feud might not have warranted that yet. The main event is Matt Hardy defending the World Title against Ethan Carter III in Carter’s rematch after the title was stolen away from him a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.

The opening video explains Lockdown and the main event.

Beer Money vs. Eric Young/Bram

In a cage, like all other matches tonight. They start fighting in the aisle with Storm hitting Bram in the head with a beer. The fight goes inside quickly enough but first up Bram gives Storm the Brighter Side of Suffering on the floor. That leaves Roode inside in a glorified handicap match with Roode down two to one. Bram is quickly taken down though, allowing Roode to hit a Blockbuster on Young. Storm climbs in over the top and sends Bram into the cage ten straight times to drop him off the top.

Beer Money starts cleaning house but Bram breaks up a double suplex on Young. Roode is fast enough to catapult Young into Bram for a top rope crotching, setting up a hurricanrana and a top rope splash for two. DWI is broken up and Eric suplexes Roode down. Last Call hits Young but Bram spinwheel kicks Storm to put everyone on the mat. It’s Beer Money up first with the double suplex on Young, setting up DWI for the pin on Bram at 8:30.

Rating: C. Hopefully this makes Bram and Young shut up for a bit though there’s no reason to assume that’s going to happen. Beer Money continues to be their usual solid selves though they’re really not doing anything other than going on a nostalgia run. The match was fine but I still have no desire to see Young and Bram as a team again.

Madison Rayne has been attacked because this is TNA and they only know about three angles for their female wrestlers.

Here’s Ethan to sit on the steps for a promo. He can’t wait to fight here in foggy old London town because Matt Hardy has tried to do whatever he can to mess with Ethan. Whether it’s having Tyrus interfere or cave Ethan’s head in with a chair, it’s just delaying the reality that Matt can’t beat him. However, speaking of being alone, Ethan needs to talk about Rockstar Spud.

After the Rockstar comes to the ring, Ethan talks about their history and admits that he was wrong. They slowly shake hands and Spud says he’ll always do what’s right. Spud isn’t scared of Matt or Tyrus because he’s Rockstar Spud and no one tells him what to do. This brings out Matt and company to say that everything belongs to him. The Matt Hardy Brand has absorbed the Impact Wrestling Brand and if Spud comes anywhere near the cage tonight, his life will be destroyed. Carter says bring it.

A British man (the unnamed Jimmy Havoc) says Rosemary was his before she was Crazzy Steve’s. They’re good for each other and he’s getting her back.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Gregory Shane Helms in his corner. Tigre grabs a quick rollup to start before nailing Lee in the head to put him down. The champ comes right back with some choking on the bottom rope, followed by a release gutwrench suplex. A quick kick to the head staggers Lee and Tigre sends him into the cage a few times.

Uno gets two off a top rope legdrop between Lee’s legs before climbing up the cage. Lee’s save doesn’t work as Tigre kicks him down, only to dive down with a huge high cross body and an equally large crash. The delayed cover only gets two and Trevor gets up with a knee to the head. The fisherman’s buster retains Trevor’s title at 6:16. Josh: “Tigre just wanted to have that Lockdown moment.” Give me a break.

Rating: C-. You remember those first two times where Trevor beat Tigre with the fisherman’s buster? Well this one was inside a cage. Hopefully this lets us move on to something else as there’s really no point to this feud continuing. I’m assuming Helms either isn’t going to wrestle or will be facing Lee at some point in the future, either of which is only kind of interesting.

Maria runs into Gail Kim and talks about leading the Knockouts. Gail is REALLY QUITE SERIOUS and tells Maria to get in the ring if she wants to be a leader.

Havoc gives Rosemary something which he says will make her remember how they are together. Steve comes up and grabs it, resulting in them staring at each other.

Dollhouse vs. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky/???

Lethal Lockdown meaning WarGames with the fall not being allowed to take place until all six (in theory) are in. Gail and Jade start things off by trading hurricanranas and kicking each other off the cage walls. They collide in the middle and we take a break with no one new coming out yet. Back with Marti Bell joining after a “five minute” (read as over seven) period ends. Marti beats on Gail for a minute until Velvet Sky comes in to even things up. Velvet cleans house for another minute until Rebel completes the Dollhouse, meaning it’s time for weapons.

The Dollhouse starts beating up Velvet in the corner until the clock runs down again. Maria comes out to the apron but shakes her head and decides not to come in. Instead she locks the cage door, allowing Gail and Velvet to get beaten down. Velvet fights back by avoiding a charge in the corner and fighting back with a kendo stick. Gail gets a stick of her own and Rebel is pinballed between forearms and stick shots. Marti makes the save with a cookie sheet, only to have Gail hit Eat Defeat for two on Rebel. Jade’s package piledriver onto a chair puts Gail away at 14:50.

Rating: C. Well that happened. The Dollhouse and the Beautiful People will likely keep feuding because that’s how the Knockouts work. Gail will go on to be serious against anyone who comes into the division, even though nothing new ever comes from it. Maria could be interesting, but this was really just more long than good.

Kurt Angle gives Ethan a pep talk. It turns out that Ethan, who made Kurt’s life miserable, is a fan.

Decay video.

Here’s Kurt with something to say to the live crowd. He talks about having so many great matches in this country, including one last year where he won the TNA World Title. Lashley comes out to say the last year has been in his head, but he’s going to get revenge. He wants to have one more match with Kurt where they tear the roof off the house before he gets his revenge. The fans want Kurt to get the final win but Lashley knows he can win on Kurt’s best day. Kurt wants to go right now but Lashley walks away with a smile.

Eli Drake is in the ring and wants to talk about Odarg the Great. Grado was fired a few weeks back and now he’s running around with a mask and singlet on, trying to hide his identity. Cue Odarg, which Josh thinks is Grado spelled backwards and it’s time for a match.

Odarg the Great vs. Eli Drake

Josh complains about how everyone knows what’s going on and how they have to be stupid and sit through it. This coming from the man who called fans idiots for pointing out plot holes in TNA’s stories. Odarg can’t pull himself over the top so he pokes Eli in the face and goes for the door but Jesse Godderz holds it shut. The mask starts to come off so we pause a bit for Odarg to fix things. Drake slams him down and suplexes Odarg into the cage. It’s still too early to climb out though and Odarg brings him down with an electric chair.

Drake can’t crawl out so Jesse tries to help, only to have Mahabali Shera come out to take care of Jesse. The tug of war causes Drake’s trunks to come halfway down, meaning it’s time to censor stuff. Odarg hits a Cannonball in the corner and very slowly climbs over, allowing Drake to come up the cage. He grabs the mask but Odarg falls down and loses the mask for the win at 6:32.

Rating: D. I still like the story, though could they find a way to not have a guy with a Feast or Fired briefcase lose comedy matches? Grado continues to be one of the few really entertaining things around here right now, even though it might be due to how simple and stupid the story really is.

After his face appears on camera for at least fifteen seconds, Grado covers up and runs off, seemingly more worried about people seeing his bare chest.

Jimmy Havoc gets in Decay’s faces and calls himself hardcore. The beatdown ensues and Rosemary leaves his present (which looked like some kind of a mask) on top of him.

Eli Drake tells Billy Corrgan to have Grado (sans mask) thrown out and that’s exactly what the Harris Twins do.

Mike Bennett can’t believe that people think anything of Drew Galloway because he carries around a briefcase.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.

The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.

Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.

Post match Spud gives Carter a Conchairto on the chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I was this uninterested in TNA. I don’t know if it’s Josh being more annoying than Matt Striker could ever hope to be, the constant waiting on Kurt’s retirement match, everyone turning heel or the fact that Matt Hardy is on top, but this show is getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s not that the quality is horrible but I’m having a lot of trouble getting into any of the stories.

Overall this show just wasn’t very interesting. They’re trying really hard to turn Matt into this top level heel and for the life of me I don’t get the appeal. Like, are they really that obsessed with doing Matt vs. Jeff at Slammiversary and/or Bound For Glory? We really need to see that match again in 2016? Not a great show here, but that’s just what happens in TNA these days because they don’t have a roster deep enough to pull this off these days.

Results

Beer Money b. Eric Young/Bram – DWI to Bram

Trevor Lee b. Tigre Uno – Fisherman’s buster

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Velvet Sky – Package piledriver onto a chair to Kim

Odarg the Great b. Eli Drake – Odarg escaped the cage

Matt Hardy b. Ethan Carter III – Hardy escaped the cage

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