Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

While the main event is easy enough to explain, the other big match on the card is one of the more confusing in recent memory. Originally, the Survivor Series match was scheduled to be Team Mick Foley vs. Team CM Punk. However, Punk was put in the title match instead so Team Punk became Team Ziggler. A series of injuries and storyline changes resulted in the match being completely different than originally announced. It also didn’t help that Ziggler and Foley had almost no interaction on television and no real reason to be angry at each other. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal (Jinder Mahal, who never did much) here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to Mahal who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the World Title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Clay is a big man who likes to dance, Tensai is formerly known as Albert/A-Train, Epico and Primo are cousins from Puerto Rico, Kidd is a high flier from Canada and the Prime Time Players are Titus O’Neil and Darren Young, a team who used to fight each other on NXT. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, good for the worst record ever at the show.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. The attacker wound up being Aksana in a meaningless story.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and didn’t get much better in the future. Eve was better but her character had hit a ceiling around this time.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro (known as the Swiss Superman) is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ (a psychotic Diva who grew obsessed with various wrestlers), saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is scandalous! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus causing her to shout a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at Hell in a Cell with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Big Show is defending. It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the ropes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of their match at Hell in a Cell and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the alleged thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like eighteen and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER (Mr. Money in the Bank) chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga.

Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO (Kane and Daniel Bryan) are the Tag Team Champions and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course. Sandow is an intellectual.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The Tag Team Champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (called Wasteland by Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by referee Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution was a triple threat match.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk, with Paul Heyman in his corner, bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both challengers. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena wants to do it himself and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fall away slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he wouldn’t really recover. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

The three men would be revealed as Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (DUN DUN DUN!), which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the first of two redos that I’ll be doing for the year. It’s an interesting time for WWE and Raw in particular as there are two General Managers for the same show. While that sounds like a dream come true for WWE, it needs to be changed tonight. Therefore we have Steve Austin’s team vs. Eric Bischoff’s team, winner take all. That’s not the main event of course because we’ve got HHH! Let’s get to it.

The opening video asks if you have what it takes to survive. I know I usually make fun of this but it’s something that fits the simple idea of the show. Why mess with something that works this well? It also gives the Smackdown Survivor Series match some focus and doesn’t put the whole thing on the less interesting matches.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, John Cena, Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, A-Train, Matt Morgan, Big Show, Nathan Jones

Holly is here due to Lesnar breaking his neck over a year ago. Lesnar’s partners are just hired guns. Show is US Champion, which he almost never defended. Brock is WWE Champion (Smackdown) so everyone wants to fight him for obvious reasons. Morgan is an unknown and Jones never was any good.

Cena rhymes a bit before the match, saying he’s the fetus and everyone else is afterbirth. Can we stick with Dallas is the place to be and John Cena is the man to beat please? He doesn’t need a stable, but he might want to trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Brock might have something to say about that but as for Big Show, Cena is like a big whistle. I’ll let you figure out the punchline. So he wants Sable and Big Show? That’s….uh interesting.

Before we get to the match, I wish they would get rid of the sound effect they use for the name graphics. It sounds like metal creaking and is already annoying. Holly goes after Lesnar before the bell and sends him into the steps. A referee gets shoved down and Holly is disqualified before the match even starts. In the ring, A-Train misses a charge in the corner and eats Bradshaw’s Clothesline for another elimination but Big Show chokeslams Bradshaw for the third elimination in less than a minute.

Cena can’t FU Big Show and it’s off to Lesnar for what would be a very different (and better) match later. John pounds Brock down in the corner and gets two off a rollup until Brock sends Cena flying. It’s off to Morgan as the announcers are talking about the Cruiserweight Title for no apparent reason. Morgan’s sidewalk slam has Cena in more trouble and it’s off to Jones, who is finally allowed to appear on live pay per view. Cena finally scores with the Throwback (I miss that move) on Lesnar and it’s off to Benoit.

Lesnar gets pounded into the corner as Benoit always looked awesome against Brock. A big clothesline puts Benoit down and it’s off to Big Show for a gorilla press, who talks trash to Angle while holding Benoit in the air. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface (I’ve always loved that counter) but Brock is right there to break it up. We hit the abdominal stretch with Show’s back to the camera (that’s probably a fine today) and you can’t actually see most of Benoit. I never get used to how big Show really is.

The standing legdrop gets two for Show and the big brawl breaks out on the floor. Morgan comes in and gets dropkicked in the leg and face, finally allowing for the hot tag to Angle. We’re already at the rolling Germans so it’s off to Lesnar who gets suplexed as well. Everything breaks down and the Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie it up. Show gets dumped to the floor and the ankle lock gets rid of Jones, only to have an F5 do the same to Angle. So after three more eliminations in less than a minute, we have Lesnar/Big Show vs. Cena/Benoit.

Lesnar misses a charge at Benoit and hits the post so Benoit goes right after the arm. The F5 is quickly countered into the Crossface and Cena is smart enough to knock Show off the apron but Brock gets his feet into the ropes. Another Crossface actually makes Lesnar tap clean, leaving Big Show alone 2-1. The YOU TAPPED OUT chants begin and Benoit takes Show down with a top rope shoulder. The Crossface is knocked away but Cena nails Show with the chain, setting up the FU for the pin and the victory, planting seeds for Wrestlemania in the process.

Rating: C-. I always liked the idea of this match on paper but it really didn’t work in execution as it needed another ten minutes or so. There were two stretches here that added up to six eliminations in about two minutes. They went through this way too fast which is probably due to time, but a World Champion’s match shouldn’t be cut for time. Just too fast here.

Benoit and Cena shake hands after having issues for weeks.

Vince comes in to see Shane and points out that it’s father and son vs. brothers tonight in separate matches. The only thing Shane feels is sorry for Vince, who faces Undertaker later. Vince leaves and runs into Austin. They start chuckling and then laughing but Austin gets serious really fast and walks away. Nothing was said and JR and King are confused as well.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Lita

Lita is freshly back from her year and a half off with the broken neck and this is her first title shot. I’ll give you two guesses as to who the fans are behind. Lita starts fast and suplexes Molly down, followed by a nice nipup. That’s not serious enough for Molly so she sends Lita crashing out to the floor. We hit a dragon sleeper on the challenger as Lawler can’t seem to bring himself to talk about Molly’s looks. To be fair, it really doesn’t feel right to try.

Back up and Lita hammers in some right hands but the comeback is short lived as a sidewalk slam gets two. Molly actually tries to talk some trash in the corner and gets powerbombed off the middle rope instead. The Litasault misses though and the Molly Go Round (top rope flipping seated senton) gets two. Frustrated, Molly loosens the middle turnbuckle and drop toeholds Lita into the steel to retain. No I didn’t skip anything. The referee either didn’t notice or didn’t car and it really is as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D. Lita just wasn’t back yet and the match didn’t work as a result. Molly is really talented but the lack of charisma hurt her. At the end of the day, she’s the most innocent and kind woman the company had in years and for some reason they made her a heel. It never fit and this was a good example of why it didn’t.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane was doing his annual monster thing and tombstoned Linda due to reasons of evil. That’s Kane’s evil, not Linda’s evil. Shane came back for his annual (popular theme here) wrestling run by trying to stop the monster. This leads us to an ambulance match here.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Ambulance match which means casket but with an ambulance instead. Shane goes after him to start but has to use a chair to knocks the steps into Kane’s face. They’re already loading up the announcers’ table and thank goodness for that. Would you want to imagine these two trying to do a regular match? Shane hits him in the head with a monitor and drops the sweet top rope elbow through the table. Kane sits up so let’s go into the crowd for a change.

They get to the back with Shane sneaking up on Kane with a kendo stick. Not a wrench or a pipe or something made of metal, but rather a wooden stick. He was an athlete, not a scholar. Shane puts him in a security booth and backs an SUV into Kane before calling in an ambulance on a walkie-talkie (where did that come from?). Also, would that count even if it’s not the designated ambulance? Wrestlemania XIV would seem to hold precedence here.

Kane comes back by throwing Shane into a wall and there goes the camera, drawing a lot of booing from the crowd. They’re right too as they paid for a live show and are watching most of this on a monitor but then they don’t even get to see all of it? I’ve never been a fan of going backstage for just that reason.

Back to the arena with Kane throwing him against the other ambulance. JR: “Like Shane was a cruiserweight.” Shane probably would be a cruiserweight actually, or at least really close. An ambulance door to the face slows Kane down (When all else fails, hit them with a door. It got Christian the Hardcore Title at Wrestlemania XVIII.) but he just blasts Shane in the face. He can only get one door shut with Shane inside though, allowing McMahon to come back with a DDT on the concrete.

Again, since Shane isn’t the brightest guy on the planet, he comes back with a trashcan. Not a heavy, thick object but rather a thin trashcan. He makes up for it a bit with a Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive the can into Kane’s face, landing on a box (which appeared to have a crashpad inside) in the process. Kane still gets an arm out of the ambulance door (that’s fine in this case as it took a long time for Shane to get him inside) and just throws Shane against the ambulance wall. A Tombstone on the concrete (no wonder Kane’s knees are shot) is enough to put Shane away.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Some of the spots were good but Shane going for the cool looking stuff instead of the logical stuff like HIT HIM WITH A WRENCH really brought it down. It also doesn’t help that this got more time than the first match, because you want to push the boss’ son in a feud he has no business winning that went on for months. This really could have gone to someone else to give them a rub but Shane gets it instead. That’s not good and it got on a lot of wrestlers’ nerves back in the day.

The ambulance leaves with Shane inside.

Brock tells Josh Matthews (who looks like even more of a tool than he does now) that he didn’t tap out or lose because he’s not afraid of anyone. Goldberg comes up to shake his hands, planting the seeds for their, ahem, match at Wrestlemania.

Here’s the Coach in a neck brace to waste some time. Coach assures us that he’ll be back to health soon enough and not to worry about him. As he’s about to leave, Coach spots Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. We get a quick interview where Cuban says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Being a Bischoff guy, Coach disagrees and asks Cuban about WWE referees vs. NBA referees (Cuban has a LONG history with NBA referees) so Mark says all referees suck.

This brings out Bischoff (JR: “What happened to Survivor Series?”) to say he’s in charge tonight. Cuban is in the ring with him now and Eric threatens to have him thrown out, but maybe Bischoff should just do it himself. Eric gets shoved down so here’s Randy Orton to lay Cuban out with an RKO. They would actually revisit this SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw and screwed Orton out of a match. Again: the opening match with the World Champion gets thirteen match, Shane vs. Kane gets a little more and this gets about six.

Evolution is having a party with some good looking women. They make a toast to HHH getting the title back (from Goldberg) when Orton comes in. Orton: “Guys listen…..whoa.” They’re proud of him for laying out Cuban (why?) and he promises to take out Austin as well. Evolution will drink to that.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

The Bashams, with He-Man chest pieces, are defending and have Shaniqua with them. My goodness what happened to the Bashams? They spent FOREVER in developmental and were just another tag team on the main roster. It’s a brawl to start with Danny (partner of Doug) being sent to the floor but both of them have to save Shaniqua. I’m not sure why as she was one of the most worthless managers and performers of all time.

Eddie starts with Three Amigos to Danny before it’s off to Chavo for two off a basement dropkick. Back to Eddie who is sent to the floor and beaten up by Shaniqua. Danny puts on a reverse chinlock as this is just a Raw match. Yeah they’re all on Smackdown but Smackdown was a lot better than this. Chavo comes back in with dropkicks and a bad looking tilt-a-whirl slam for two on Doug.

Eddie saves his nephew from a middle rope spinebuster and Chavo adds a running hilo for two. Chavo and Doug clothesline each other and Shaniqua lets us have some Twin Magic. Even in 2003 I can’t get away from the Bellas. Shaniqua takes a frog splash but Chavo accidentally kicks Eddie on a tornado DDT, letting Danny roll Chavo up and grab the tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Just a TV match here which isn’t enough when you’re on one of the biggest pay per views of the year. The problem here is this was meant to set up stuff in the future (Chavo vs. Eddie) instead of being about the titles. That’s fine (see Royal Rumble 1994) down the road but it doesn’t make for a good match here. The Bashams had no personality and it’s a big reason why they weren’t going to make it like this. It’s a major problem of this era and the modern era still: finding something that works in developmental and scrapping it when they get to the main roster, making most of the developmental time a waste.

Lawler and JR preview the elimination tag and tell us that Shane is getting ready for a CAT scan.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff, which is all about controlling Raw. Austin isn’t allowed to touch anyone unless physically provoked which drove him crazy. He also doesn’t trust anyone but he’s been forced to trust five men tonight though because this is it. Bischoff had fired him as a wrestler but Austin was brought back as co-GM which caused a bunch of friction, setting up this match. If Austin wins tonight, he has full power and can fight whenever he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Dudley Boyz

Bischoff: Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

Steiner has Stacy Keibler against her will as part of a very uncomfortable story. The Dudleyz are the Raw Tag Team Champions and Van Dam is Intercontinental Champion. Christian and D-Von get things going, which seems appropriate for old times’ sake. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Van Dam who gets tow off a quick kick. Jericho comes in and gets shouldered and suplexed for two.

Steiner gets the tag and eats a boot to the face, only to throw Van Dam with a suplex to take over. A little crotching on the top makes it even worse as we’re firmly in the early stages still, meaning that this didn’t fall to the curse of “what else can we give the time to?”. Booker comes in but gets run over as well with the bicep elbow drop getting two. JR just has to bring up the three mini kings from 1994 because that story NEVER gets old.

Booker nails a quick scissors kick and a Spinarooni as everything breaks down. A low blow stops Booker and Steiner puts on the absolute worst camel clutch I’ve ever seen. Stacy gets on the apron to play cheerleader for Booker so Steiner breaks the hold. The reverse 3D plants Scott and the Book End is good for the first elimination. Never mind the lead though as the World’s Strongest Slam (I didn’t realize he had been using it that long) from Henry ties it up thirty seconds later.

Bubba comes in with some hard shots to the jaw but Henry runs him over Vader style. D-Von tries to help his brother, only to be slammed face first into him by Henry’s insane power. Speaking of power, the Dudleyz come back with 3D followed by a Five Star (the ECW Special?) to get rid of Mark. Jericho is in next but Van Dam head fakes him to set up a split legged moonsault for two.

It’s off to Orton for the first time and he blasts Van Dam with a big clothesline. I can never get over seeing Orton looking human or having hair. That’s one of the most jarring physical transformations I’ve ever seen in wrestling and it always strikes me. Like a viper. Van Dam kicks him in the face but Jericho shoves Rob off the top, setting up the RKO to tie it up again.

The fans want tables but have to settle for D-Von getting two off a headbutt. Jericho comes back in for two off a dropkick, followed by a quick Flashback (sleeper drop) to get rid of D-Von. It’s Shawn/Bubba vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Shawn gets his first tag to fire the crowd up again. Jericho is quickly sent running over for a tag to Orton who has a lot more luck with some forearms to the chest.

Back to Bubba who cleans house on all three until Jericho breaks up a Bubba Bomb with a low blow, setting up an Unprettier to leave Shawn down 3-1. Christian is up first and Shawn hammers away with right hands, only to be low bridged out to the floor by the other Canadian. The slow beatdown begins and Jericho cuts off the comeback again, allowing Christian to catapult him into the post. JR gets in his “local basketball team here” dribbling a ball line. Shawn is busted and you know the shaky legs are coming soon.

Christian does the signature Shawn pose and punches away, only to charge right into Sweet Chin Music to make it 2-1. That’s where Shawn is at his best: looking dead on his feet with his back against the wall and throwing superkicks because it’s all he’s got left. Oh and bleeding normally helps. Jericho comes in for some right hands before it’s back to Orton who grabs a belly to back suplex.

The heels start making some faster tags but Jericho dives into a kick to the ribs and a DDT. Lawler: “I want to believe. I’m trying to believe.” Shawn sends Orton to the floor and blocks the Lionsault with knees. Jericho is up first though and tries the Walls, only to get small packaged to tie it up. Lawler: “I BELIEVE!” Before he leaves though, Jericho blasts Shawn in the head with a chair. Shouldn’t that be a DQ on Orton as it’s interference when it’s down to one on one?

Orton comes back in with a high cross body but Shawn collapses to send Orton crashing into the referee. You can actually feel the drama here, even with JR being borderline obnoxious with the cheering for Austin. The VERY bloody Shawn tunes up the band but Bischoff kicks him down. That’s enough for Steve and the beating is on, including a Stunner to Orton. Austin and Batista head to the back and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin. And yes, you’re supposed to believe that the referee saw or heard NONE of this.

Rating: B+. This took its time to get going but once they handed it over to Shawn, it was all gravy. There’s no one better at making the impossible comeback than Shawn Michaels and this was one of the better ones he’s ever done. There was really no way you could have Austin’s guys win here but they did a GREAT job of making you think that his team could pull it off. That’s really impressive stuff and the match was great drama with the action backing it up.

Shawn gets up in the big serious moment and says he let Austin down. Steve doesn’t accept that and hugs him anyway as JR is being all serious, which actually works here. Austin isn’t done though and comes back to the ring after walking Shawn to the back. He talks about his career starting in Dallas in 1989 and if it has to end, he’s glad it ended here. Cue Coach with the cops, singing Goodbye. I think you get the drill here: he has nothing to lose so the beating is on. Naturally beer is consumed, just like it would be again when he was back in December.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker had been feuding with Vince’s handpicked champion Brock Lesnar so Undertaker was never going to be allowed to be near the title again. One night, Undertaker won a match granting him any match he wanted at Survivor Series. He picked Buried Alive, which Vince gladly agreed to because Brock would destroy him again. Undertaker meant Vince of course and the match was made. Undertaker is promising to bury Vince once and for all tonight. I’m sure.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Buried Alive if that’s not clear. Tazz even has keys to victory. #3: AVOID THE HOLE! That’s good advice in so many areas of life. I miss Undertaker’s You’re Gonna Pay song. Vince has recently been saying a higher power will protect him in this match. So he’s protecting himself? Undertaker starts punching early on and SWEET GOODNESS Vince is gushing. The beating continues with Vince getting crotched against the post. Totally one sided as you would expect so far.

Undertaker chokes with a camera cord as payback for Vince threatening to have Undertaker’s wife raped and his home blown up. Yep that happened. One heck of a monitor shot knocks Vince over the table and an even bigger shot with a shovel has Vince in a heap on the floor. Undertaker crushes the ankle with the steps as there are LARGE red puddles underneath Vince’s head. That’s one of the deepest blade jobs I’ve ever seen.

Undertaker finally carries him to the grave but a low blow FINALLY gives Vince a breather and his first offense. A shovel to the chest puts Undertaker in the grave but he comes right back and throws Vince in instead. He goes to get in the bulldozer but the cab explodes. Cue Kane to knock Undertaker into the grave. Vince is sent to the bulldozer and Undertaker is buried.

Rating: C+. The match sucked but some of those shots to the head and that SICK blade job more than carries it up. This was a violent mess and that’s exactly what it needed to be, especially with the ending designed to get us back to the Dead Man. That being said, WHY DID UNDERTAKER KEEP AGREEING TO THESE MATCHES??? HE NEVER WON IT ONCE! Bad match, GREAT violence and blood.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. After losing to him over and over, HHH issued a $100,000 bounty because he thought he was Harley Race in modern times (look up Starrcade 1983). Batista returned from injury and claimed the bounty by breaking Goldberg’s ankle. Tonight is HHH’s rematch and Goldberg can barely walk coming in. This gets the music video treatment even though there’s really not enough of a story to warrant it.

Raw World Title Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending (doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out?) and HHH is looking WAY less developed than usual. He had a groin injury around this time but did it really mess him up that badly? Like, it’s WEIRD to see him looking like this. They slug it out before the bell and the spear connects but Goldberg has to beat up Flair. Ric is clotheslined to the floor and the bell actually rings. Even Lawler thinks waiting that long is pretty stupid.

After a quick trip to the floor it’s back inside with Goldberg scoring off a powerslam. The leg goes out though and HHH starts in on it, including throwing him outside for some cheap shots from Goldberg. Back in and HHH drops an elbow onto the leg, followed by a lot of stomping to put the champion on the floor. Say it with me: and Flair gets in some shots too.

There’s a half crab with Goldberg grabbing the ring skirt but for some reason that’s not enough to break the hold, giving us JR’s sarcastic voice. Goldberg pulls him face first into the post and puts both guys down with a clothesline. It’s HHH up first but the Figure Four is broken up, meaning we get a ref bump. Oh good as I was worried we might not have one.

Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg silly for two. HHH knocks the referee down again and it’s sledgehammer time. Goldberg takes it away and hits Flair in the ribs, knocks out the invading Orton and Batista and breaks up a Pedigree attempt. The spear and Jackhammer connect to retain the title.

Rating: D. HHH sucked in 2003. I can barely remember a single good match he had in the year (and yes I know there are a few here and there) but the big ones were bad on top of bad on top of bad. It’s the same formula no matter what and feels like it’s never going to end. All that aside, what was up with his physique here? Go check this out. It’s like someone went back to 1995 and inflated him. Bad match here, as you would expect.

Overall Rating: D. This show feels like they put the card together but never bothered to put the show in order. It would have been much better, and made WAY more sense, to have the Austin vs. Bischoff match go on last as it’s implied to be Austin’s final appearance, which is a lot more important than your run of the mill title defense. The rest of the show is pretty much just there, ranging from bad to dull. Swapping the card wouldn’t have fixed it entirely but it would have made for a much more entertaining night instead of wanting to know what else we had to sit through.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2012 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C+

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

One step down every year.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/09/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2003-austins-retiring-forever-and-doesnt-close-the-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,702
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This show was only a year ago and I barely remember anything about it save for the two main events. It really is amazing that these shows have just stopped standing out aside from Wrestlemania. Unfortunately we’re at the point where Summerslam is now a regular four hour show because three hours of pay per view plus five hours of TV a week and a two hour NXT show the night before this just isn’t enough. Let’s get to it.

Thankfully there was no pre-show match so we can get straight to the regular show. When you have three hours and forty four minutes on pay per view, you really don’t need an eight minute warmup match.

Here’s host Jon Stewart to open things up. Stewart hypes up the crowd and says it’s nice to be back in reality after spending sixteen years talking about politics. The WWE superstars respects their audience and they’re all ready to thrill this crowd. Jon lists off some names appearing on the show and of course Reigns and Cena are loudly booed. He’s not over the Streak being broken yet and is here to talk to Brock face to face about defeating the Undertaker.

Stewart isn’t crazy though and has brought some backup in the form of Mick Foley. Mick comes out and reminds Stewart that he only has one ear and thought Jon said he wanted to talk to ROCK. Stewart: “Are you telling me that the great Mick Foley is afraid of Brock Lesnar?” Foley: “Jon that’s exactly what I’m telling you!”

Stewart brings up the Cell match against Undertaker and calls it inspirational. Foley agrees that it was inspirational but also reminds Jon that IT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. Mick has never been to Suplex City and he’s not starting tonight so he’s out of here. Stewart says on with the show to end this moderately funny bit. Above all else though, Stewart is clearly a huge fan and that helps so much in something like this. It felt like he’s here because it’s something he’s always wanted to do instead of just something he’s doing to promote a movie or whatever.

Opening video focuses on New York City (of course) and then goes into the main events.

I forgot how annoying that “We Cool For The Summer” song can be.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This is fallout from Sheamus attacking Orton when Orton had the WWE World Title won, leading to a failed Money in the Bank cash-in attempt by the pale one. Cole: “Speaking of Money in the Bank, Randy Orton has had a great career right here at Summerslam.” Eventually he gets around to tying that together by saying Orton cashed in his briefcase two years ago but that’s not the best statement to start out with.

The fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid and he has to bail from a very early RKO attempt. Actually Sheamus grabs the mic and gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton is willing to fight on the floor but Sheamus takes him down with a clothesline. Sheamus actually hits a top rope knee drop for a rare sight. The slow beating continues with Sheamus stopping to adjust the mohawk.

A chinlock doesn’t last long so Sheamus takes him right back down and puts on another chinlock. Randy finally comes back with a clothesline and the backbreaker, followed by a suplex over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus gets two off a powerslam to set up a modified Cloverleaf. That’s escaped as well (because other than Chris Jericho, heels can’t win with submissions) and Orton hits the elevated DDT.

Sheamus gets the ten forearms to the chest but slingshots right into the RKO. Orton has to throw him back inside though and that means it’s time for the Punt. Yeah don’t even bother at this point as I don’t think anyone buys it as a real threat. Instead White Noise gets two, followed by back to back Brogue Kicks for the pin on Orton at 12:24.

Rating: C+. This was a longer version of a Raw match with a surprisingly clean ending. You kind of expect Sheamus to lose here but Orton losing instead was a nice change of pace. The problem is these two really don’t have a ton of chemistry and they were just kind of trading moves until the finish.

Some fans won a contest from Draftkings.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players

One fall to a finish. For reasons I don’t want to know, the Prime Time Players are defending. New Day, still heels, offer to explain hip hop to the Brooklyn fans. We immediately get the New Age Outlaws strategy with Big E. trying to pin Kofi but only getting two. Instead it’s Kofi headlocking Cara down before Sin monkey flips his partner onto Kofi for two.

That means it’s time for Big E. who takes a Tajiri handspring into an enziguri. Young comes in to face Cara and things get WAY faster with neither guy being able to get anywhere before it’s a stalemate. Darren reaches over to get Kofi and gets a splash on the back from Big E. Los Matadores steal the advantage and hit a slingshot hilo for two on Darren. The yet to be named Unicorn Stampede gives New Day control again as Woods lists off their favorite breakfast foods. You can see the cereal schtick coming from here.

Kofi chinlocks Young for a bit before Big E. grabs a dancing abdominal stretch. Big E. hits a clothesline and Woods loses his mind shouting about tricep meat. Woods: “YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE BECAUSE BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNERED ON TRICEP MEAT!!!” Darren finally knocks Kofi away and makes the hot tag off to Titus for the house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and the masked men start with all their dives. El Torito’s double springboard dive is caught in midair by Woods (Torito really is small) so Young belly to back suplexes Xavier on the apron, only to have Big E. hit his spear through the ropes. He’s going to kill himself with that one day. Back in and Titus powerbombs the Dragons in the Tower of Doom, followed by the Clash of the Titus to Fernando. That brings Kofi back in to kick Titus in the face though and Big E. steals the pin on Fernando to get the titles back at 11:20.

Rating: B-. This started slowly with the normal problem of too many bodies at once but as usual it went away once they started tagging. The problem continues to be how weak the division is though as you have three middling teams and then the awesome New Day who was just begging to turn face at this point. It was clearly their time and there was no other option than to put the titles back on them here. Somehow they still hold the belts heading into the following Summerslam which just doesn’t happen these days.

New Day goes INSANE celebrating with Big E.’s hips defying gravity and Kofi bouncing around the match on his back.

Jon Stewart brags to Neville and Stephen Amell (celebrity here for a match) about being friends with Undertaker. The lights go out and Undertaker (or someone who looks a lot like him) walks past. The bragging quickly ends.

We recap Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler. Rusev threw Lana out so she hooked up with Ziggler while Rusev hooked up with Summer Rae. This led to several blonde catfights but tonight it’s the guys fighting alone.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler goes right after him to start but misses a charge to go face first into the buckle. The Russian/Bulgarian (whatever he is this week) stomps away and we hit an early bearhug. The fans cheer for Lana as Ziggler is planted with a spinout Rock Bottom. Rusev’s gorilla press (in case you thought Dolph was doing it) is countered into a DDT and it’s time for the running clotheslines required for all face comebacks.

For some reason Rusev goes up top with Ziggler faceplanting him down for two more. A sunset flip gives Dolph two and he grabs the sleeper but Rusev uses the powers of THIS ISN’T 1982 to escape. Dolph joins the twentieth century with a Fameasser for a near fall but walks into the jumping superkick to the arm. The Accolade goes on but Lana slaps Summer to distract Rusev into breaking the hold. The guys join them on the floor as Lana gets the loudest chant of the night. Rusev gets superkicked onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 11:49.

Rating: C. This was an extended Raw match with a non-finish. Lana definitely came off as the biggest star here, which is why they dropped her face push because of a wrist injury and TMZ reporting that she and Rusev were engaged. Naturally WWE had ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE but to acknowledge this on Raw and punish her as a result. I’m in the small group that likes this story though some of that is due to Lana in her outfits.

Another catfight ensues.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Neville and Stardust had been doing a comic book inspired feud between a hero and a villain. One night Stardust shoved Amell (the star of the Green Arrow TV show) and a tag match was made with Barrett joining in due to having nothing else to do.

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett

Stephen comes out in his Arrow hood but wrestles in regular black shorts. Barrett gets hit in the face to start so Stardust comes in to face Neville instead. Stardust wants Amell though and Stephen gets a pretty good pop as he flips over the top to come in. A shove sends Stephen down so he nips up and knocks Stardust up against the ropes for a surprise. It’s off to Barrett who easily takes over on Amell. As odd as it is to see the celebrity getting beaten up, Neville has to be the one coming in to clean house when we get to the hot tag.

Amell finally gets in an enziguri and dives over for the tag to Neville. The rapid fire kicks set up the middle rope Phoenix Splash on Barrett but Stardust makes the save. The villains are sent to the floor and Stephen dives off the top onto both of them for the big spot of the match. Back in and the Red Arrow finishes Barrett at 7:34.

Rating: C+. Of course that’s on a sliding scale as Amell has no idea what he’s doing here and was just doing whatever he could. It’s not exactly a huge star out there but it fit the story well enough. Unfortunately Barrett takes the fall here, despite Stardust being the main bad guy in the whole thing.

Look at WWE taking over Brooklyn.

Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. The Miz vs. Big Show

Ryback is defending and the other two have both taken shots at the title. Miz takes sanctuary on the floor but comes back in to try a double suplex on Big Show. Yeah I think you know what’s coming there, especially when you notice that Show would have broken his back on the turnbuckle if they had suplexed him from there.

They really need to find a way to stop telegraphing that kind of thing. Show actually hits a middle rope swanton (well forward roll) onto Ryback before chopping Miz in the corner. Ryback takes out Show’s knee and plants Miz with a powerslam for two. That’s enough being on defense for Show as he chokeslams Ryback onto Miz but the KO Punch is countered with a spinebuster. It was a bit sloppy but what can you expect when it’s to someone Big Show’s size?

The Shell Shock plants Show but Miz runs in with the Skull Crushing Finale for two on the champ. Miz covers both of them twice each but it only serves to tick Ryback out. Shell Shock is broken up with the KO and Miz makes ANOTHER save. Another KO drops Miz but Ryback clotheslines Show to the floor and steals the pin on Miz to retain at 5:34. Cole: “CLASSIC TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!” Oh shut up.

Rating: C+. This was just a Raw match but they kept things moving well enough that I was entertained throughout. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before but I liked Ryback copying Miz’s strategy to keep the title. Ryback was getting somewhere with the title and could have been something special if they hadn’t dropped him yet again. It’s no wonder he left less than a year later.

Jon Stewart goes to see Brock but gets cut off by Heyman. Stewart says wrestling fans were disappointed in the Streak ending and no one remembers the person who broke perfection. Heyman is probably happy to see the fans all crushed and destroyed like that because he likes giving coal to kids on Christmas morning. Paul sings about the glory of Lesnar in response. I’m with Heyman here. The Streak was amazing and will never be duplicated but it’s ridiculous to say it can never be broken no matter what because fans would be sad. Sometimes evil wins and there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Wyatt Family vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Harper and Wyatt here. Bray targeted Reigns earlier in the summer and Roman was tired of getting beaten up so he got some help. It’s almost weird to see Reigns coming through the crowd instead of the entrance. Cole flat out says the feud isn’t ending tonight because it’s going to go on and on. Ambrose bulldogs Harper to start so Bray comes in, only to get punched in the mouth.

A suicide dive takes Bray down again and it’s already a wild brawl. Reigns dives over Ambrose to clothesline Harper in a cool spot before Ambrose runs all three tables to take out Bray as well. Things settle down with the Shield guys taking turns on Harper. Dean’s top rope elbow gets two but a Bray distraction lets Harper get a shot in. Roman goes after him but Harper suicide dives onto Roman, only to have Dean take them both out with another dive.

Harper kicks Dean in the face and Bray drops the backsplash to really take over for the first time. Bray gets creative with a suplex through the ropes to the floor. Back to Harper for something like a Crossface as Reigns is STILL down on the floor a good three and a half minutes after that beatdown. The referee stops to look at something in the corner as a ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant starts up.

Dean finally hits the rebound lariat as Reigns gets back on the apron for the hot tag. Him being down on the floor that long really didn’t mean anything but it’s not something that looks good, especially given some of the stuff Reigns has been laughed at before. A superkick and Batista Bomb plant Reigns but Bray spends too much time going up and gets Superman Punched. Dean plays Hawk in a Doomsday Device and the DoubleBomb plants Harper. Dirty Deeds and a spear put Bray down at 10:56.

Rating: B. That should wake the crowd up a bit. Other than Reigns’ latest nap, this was a good old fashioned fight with both teams looking awesome throughout. That being said, I’m so glad the feud is going to keep going after Reigns just pinned Bray. It should be the blowoff but why blow it off when you can just keep going with even more matches?

We recap John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a title for title match with Cena narrating a video about how tough New Yorkers are. The video is a cool look at all the venues in and around New York City as it’s almost always about Madison Square Garden. A few weeks ago Rollins broke Cena’s nose in a NASTY looking injury so Cena is after revenge and to end Rollins’ joke (Cena’s description) of a title reign. He’s right to be fair as Rollins basically bowed down to HHH as often as he could and was getting squashed by Brock the previous month to make him look like a loser.

WWE World Title/US Title: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena

Winner take all. The JOHN CENA SUCKS song is out in full swing here as the people just do not like Cena. Rollins comes out in white, albeit with lines painted on that makes it look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shell. The fans are all over Cena again and it’s Rollins hitting a dropkick to take over and giving Cena You Can’t See Me. Oh yeah he’s the face in this match and everyone knows it. Cena grabs a belly to belly and we hit the chinlock less than two minutes in.

Rollins comes right back by sending Cena to the floor for back to back suicide dives and a big flip dive over the top. Back in and Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up with a headlock takeover but the second ProtoBomb works a bit better. Rollins is still able to break up the Shuffle but Cena comes back with a HORRIBLE springboard Stunner, basically making it look like he was reaching for Seth’s wrist instead of the neck. I think he retired it after this show and you can’t blame him after how bad that looked. Rollins comes back with double knees to the chest and a standing shooting star for two.

Cena is sat on top and then tied into the Tree of Woe for Alberto Del Rio’s top rope double stomp (which Seth makes look much better) for another near fall. Back up and the first AA connects for two and we’re not even nine minutes into the match. You think they might be trying a bit too hard?

They do the big slugout until Cena catapults him into the corner to set up a faceplant for another near fall. They’re certainly doing some different stuff tonight and it helps a lot. What doesn’t help is the announcers acting like this is the main event of Wrestlemania and that it’s been going on for half an hour instead of ten minutes. That’s not even a Raw main event yet.

Seth is right back in it by breaking up a super AA attempt and hitting a great looking frog splash. Rollins rolls through a crossbody and hits his own AA to an even bigger face pop. Back up and Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash, only to flip out of the AA. The Pedigree doesn’t work either and it’s Cena grabbing a Figure Four because RIC FLAIR.

Rollins reverses but Cena makes the ropes and goes up top with Rollins running the ropes for a superplex into the falcon’s arrow for a near fall. That really should be the finish but of course it’s only good for two. Another Phoenix Splash misses and Cena grabs another AA but the referee gets bumped. With Cena demanding another ref, Rollins hits the jumping knee to the face and here’s Jon Stewart with a chair. Both guys get up and Stewart gives Cena a shot to the ribs, setting up a Pedigree on the chair to give Rollins the US Title at 19:25.

Rating: B+. This was on the way to being a classic but the Stewart ending was a bad choice when Rollins and Stewart had been feuding for months. The explanation was that Jon didn’t want Cena to tie Flair’s record because IT’S RIC FLAIR! I’m fine with Cena not getting the title back as him wanting the US Title back made it seem all the more important. Unfortunately it also made the WWE World Title look horrible because Rollins had to lose to drop that title. But hey, Jon Stewart right?

WWE Network ad.

Pre-show panel chat and they have to talk over a THANK YOU STEWART chant.

We recap the Divas Revolution which means STEPHANIE TIME! For anyone who doesn’t get my obsessive hatred of almost all things Stephanie, this was my breaking point. For weeks, Paige had dealt with the Bellas and their numbers advantage with the idea being she would need help. Say, with the arrival of some friends from NXT?

Well that’s what happened, but only because Stephanie came out and announced they (as in Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch) were here. For some reason Stephanie put them into three women teams and a feud was started “for superiority”. Yeah superiority instead of the story they had spent months building up. But whatever. Story telling isn’t what’s important. It’s all about putting Stephanie, that pioneer of women’s wrestling, in the story so she gets credit for the (very) cool moment.

Team B.A.D. vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

B.A.D. – Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina Snuka

Bella – Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB – Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is under elimination rules, meaning the a single fall eliminates an entire team, making the match far less interesting from the start. Brie and Becky start things off as we hear about the history of Summerslam being in the New York area. Becky is sent into the ropes for a running knee to the face (with Brie shouting TEAM BELLA instead of BRIE MODE, which may or may not be worse) but Tamina tags herself in to superkick Becky in the jaw.

Sasha comes in to a very nice reaction….and she’s back out in less than five seconds. It’s Naomi coming in despite almost no one caring about her whatsoever. The fans want Sasha so she’s back in, gets rolled up for two, and is back out in about thirty seconds. They head outside with Charlotte saving Sasha with a spear to Tamina, only to have Naomi and Sasha hit (well less so in Sasha’s case) flip dives.

The Bellas hit suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls something new. Paige and Alicia fight on the top until Paige knocks her off and dives onto everyone at once. Back in and Brie hits a super facebuster on Tamina for the elimination, taking a lot of the life away from the crowd who wanted to see Sasha. That’s being pretty greedy though as Sasha was in the match for at least 50 seconds.

Nikki hits a quick Rack Attack on Becky for no cover as Paige and Charlotte drag their partner back to the corner. A fall away slam sends Nikki to the floor but she Paige takes too long following her out, meaning it’s an Alabama Slam on the outside. Back in and a double flapjack plants Paige, setting up a Brie chinlock. The YES Kicks are countered into a rollup for two but Fox comes back in to work on a double arm crank.

Now the fans will settle for Charlotte as Paige gets double suplexed for two. A running knee to Fox finally allows the hot tag to Charlotte as the crowd FINALLY wakes up a bit. Everything breaks down with Nikki having to save Alicia from the Figure Eight. A double big boot drops Charlotte and Fox so it’s off to Becky vs. Brie but BRIE MODE misses, setting up a pumphandle suplex to pin Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C. Well that happened. It didn’t revolutionize anything, it didn’t change anything, it didn’t accomplish anything and it annoyed the fans when Sasha was eliminated in about five minutes. But hey, Stephanie got a focus in the pre-match video and Nikki gets a step closer to vanquishing AJ from the pages of the WWE record books. That’s all that matters right?

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

This started over the two of them wanting to face Cena for the US Title. Owens is coming in after a brutal ladder match last night at Takeover: Brooklyn. They slug it out to start with Owens sending him to the floor for a flip dive. Owens spends too much time jawing at Cole though and it’s Cesaro running back inside for a corkscrew plancha of his own. The Uppercut Train takes too long though and Cesaro is sent into the barricade to set up a cannonball.

The backsplash gets two inside and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. A torture rack neckbreaker gives Owens two more and it’s time for a second chinlock. The powers of the OLE chants bring Cesaro back to life though and he knocks Owens into the corner to set up that weird modified Angle Slam for two. Cesaro’s gutwrench superplex gets two but Owens throws him down a few seconds later, only to miss a double springboard moonsault.

A superkick gets Owens out of trouble but the springboard corkscrew uppercut drops him again. The Swing sets up Cesaro’s Sharpshooter with Owens only a few feet from the ropes for the quick break. Both guys go up for something but Cesaro gets crotched and superplexed to set up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 14:17.

Rating: B. You knew this was going to be good with these two on this stage. They kind of had to give Owens the win here after he lost in his NXT farewell last night but it’s still not good to have Cesaro lose here either. That’s the problem with the way they book their midcarders: they’re bounced around so much with wins and losses all over the place that a loss on a big stage really cripples them all over again. At least the match was good.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. Of course Brock broke the Streak at Wrestlemania XXX and Undertaker disappeared for a long time. Then Undertaker returned at Battleground 2015 to cost Lesnar the WWE World Title to set up this match. They actually billed this as being too big for Wrestlemania which was a good line, though I’m not sure how many people actually believed it.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar is actually smart enough to attack at the bell and I can’t believe no one else has ever thought of that before. Undertaker comes back with a boot to the face and Brock is sent outside as it’s time for the brawl to begin. The bell rings and Brock double legs him down, only to have Undertaker hit him in the face to take over. The dueling UNDERTAKER/SUPLEX CITY chants start up and Old School is countered into an F5 but Undertaker slips off the shoulders.

It’s Suplex City time though, or at least it would be until Undertaker sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle. A big boot puts Brock on the floor and draws some blood from his forehead. Back in and the chokeslam is countered with another German suplex so Brock cracks a smile. They head outside again and there’s an F5 to send Undertaker through the table.

Somewhere in there Brock got busted open much worse and stands in the ring with another smile on his face. Undertaker slowly crawls back in with Brock telling Undertaker that he’s going to kill him. Undertaker: “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO!” That earns Brock a chokeslam (and a great selling job) and a Tombstone for a close two. Both guys are down until Brock sits up and laughs.

Undertaker does the situp and mocks Lesnar’s laughing so, while still on the mat, they just PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE OVER AND OVER. Brock gets the better of it and takes him into the corner for the Kimura on the second rope. Of course that’s not a DQ or even a count from the referee because that’s not what the story calls for, meaning Undertaker has to Last Ride him out for two.

The second F5 gets two and the second gets the same as I continue to hate how much WWE lets people kick out of finishers. I know it’s a big match but at what point does a finisher become just another move that someone uses? Both guys are spent but Undertaker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate. That’s reversed into the Kimura and the bell rings for the big surprise submission. Not so fast though as the referee waves it off, allowing Undertaker to hit Lesnar low and put on the Hell’s Gate again. Lesnar flips Undertaker off and passes out for the submission/knockout at 17:10.

Rating: B+. That ending (which we’ll come back to in a minute) brings down an otherwise great old school power brawl. Undertaker teasing a heel turn to get the big win is a big stretch as he reached bulletproof legend status well over ten years ago. I get the story they’re going for and it’s not bad, but the low blow wasn’t really necessary here.

The important thing here though was Undertaker hurt Brock. You can have Lesnar be the Beast and maul people but at some point someone has to be able to hurt him or there’s no point in bringing him out. Look at what he did to Ambrose at Wrestlemania XXXII or Rollins at Battleground 2015. It stops being entertaining and starts being the Brock Lesnar Show, which doesn’t do anyone any good but him. This was different though, and that’s a good thing.

We get a replay oh yes Undertaker does tap out. So yeah, it’s a screwy ending for the sake of setting up a rematch, just like in the other main event. That’s not a bright idea at any show, especially the second biggest of the year. Heyman declares Brock the winner via submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a really strong show with nothing bad and a bunch of good matches but the top two are ruined by the horrible booking choices. Above all else though, this show was ruined by the length. This show runs nearly three and three quarter hours with a lot of stuff that could have been cut.

I mean, was anyone needing Rusev and Ziggler to go ten minutes or a sixteen minute Divas three way? It’s a good example of a show that could have been trimmed quite a bit for its own good, which unfortunately is a recurring trend these days. This was a very good show otherwise but it’s not exactly memorable and that hurts it a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: C

Redo: C

Stephen Amell/Neville vs. King Barrett/Stardust

Original: B+

Redo: C+

The Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Wyatt Family

Original: C+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Team Bella vs. Team PCB vs. Team B.A.D.

Original: C-

Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

That original overall rating is probably a bit high as I liked almost everything more the second time around. Being able to watch this in pieces instead of in a straight sitting helps it a lot.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/summerslam-2015-a-long-long-very-long-summer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

And remember: the first Wrestling Bundle ends at midnight tonight so go check it out!

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/sunday-is-the-final-day-for-wrestling-bundle-1/

Results

Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and Lucha Dragons – Kingston pinned Fernando after a Clash of the Titus

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Stephen Amell/Neville b. Stardust/King Barrett – Red Arrow to Barrett

Ryback b. Big Show and Miz – Ryback pinned Miz after a KO Punch from Big Show

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Wyatt

Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree onto a chair

Team PCB b. Team Bella and Team Bad – Pumphandle slam to Brie Bella

Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb

Undertaker b. Brock Lesnar – Hell’s Gate

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,079
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Time for a redo of a show with a main event billed as the Biggest Fight of the Summer. The more I think of that line, the more I like it. The main event here is Cena (subbing for the injured Bryan) defending against Brock Lesnar, who is having his first match since breaking the Streak. Interestingly enough, I don’t even remember another match from this card. Let’s get to it.

I usually don’t say anything on the pre-show, but my goodness Renee Young is stunning. I know you often hear about the Divas looking great, but she is just beautiful, especially in a nice red dress here.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

No real story here. Rob rolls out of a wristlock to start and we hit the ECW chants. My goodness there’s other stuff to cheer over people. Cesaro is sent to the floor and Rob slips a bit on his dive but still manages to kick Cesaro down and hit Rolling Thunder on the outside. Back in and Cesaro simplifies stuff by just pummeling Van Dam in the corner before throwing him down with the gutwrench suplex.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock as the announcers give us one final hype for Cena vs. Lesnar. Rob fights up for a rolling cradle and the split legged moonsault for two, followed by a superkick to put Cesaro back on the floor. This is Van Dam 101 here, which was the biggest criticism he faced during this time. The Five Star is broken up by a big uppercut but Rob is still able to block a superplex.

That earns him another uppercut though because Cesaro is pesky like that. Van Dam shoves him down again but Cesaro hits the third straight uppercut, only to be shoved down yet again. Rob is finally able to dive…..right into an uppercut of course. This time it’s Cesaro kicking Rob in the face for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and Van Dam hits his quick step over kick, followed by the Five Star for the pin at 8:06.

Rating: C-. The uppercut sequence was nice but like I said, Van Dam was just doing high spots here and nothing else. That was the case for most of his 2014 run and that’s not really doing anything for him at this point. Cesaro was just wandering around at this point, which makes his Wrestlemania battle royal win feel like the biggest waste of a rub in recent history, which is really covering a lot of ground.

In a sign of the times, Hulk Hogan is brought out to open the show. Well to be fair it worked really well at Wrestlemania XXX so this isn’t the worst idea in the world. He thinks it’s appropriate for Hollywood Hogan to open the show here in Los Angeles and talks about how amazing Summerslam really is. This turns into a commercial for the Network, all while Hogan’s video is playing behind him. Hogan hits the catchphrase and he’s out in less than three minutes. This was fine and got the crowd fired up while also plugging something. Well done.

The opening video is in the theme of an old 1980s action movie trailer (Follow the Buzzards Productions) with the usual previews for the main events, but with everyone’s nickname instead of their actual name. I really liked this as a movie geek and it holds up quite well a year later.

It’s a shame that the curse of the standardized sets has hit Summerslam as well. It’s the second biggest show of the year. Mix that stuff up people.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and has the Hollywood star gimmick. I still really like his work in this and still find him to be one of the better done characters. Before the match, Miz talks about being real instead of CGI and brags about how jealous you all should be of the moneymaker. Tonight he’s going to make Ziggler the WWE version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Ice Bucket Challenge, back when that was still a thing.

The threat of a superkick sends Miz bailing to the floor as we hear about the Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel match from Summerslam 1992 where it was agreed that neither would hit the other in the face. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Dolph but he gets whipped chest first into the corner as Miz takes over. With his variety of stomps used up, Miz kicks Dolph hard in the face before slapping on a chinlock.

The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle, but you could say the same thing about Ziggler so it’s not really clear. Dolph punches him out of the air and hits a Stinger Splash before a rollup gets two more. Now the superkick connects with the moneymaker for two so we get the required attempt at bailing, only to have Dolph baseball slide him down.

Somehow that earns Ziggler a Figure Four (because Miz needed a submission hold and it’s always a good thing to pay tribute to Flair, who won SO many major matches with that hold right?) but Dolph is in the ropes. His leg is fine enough for a Fameasser but Miz pops to his feet for the Skull Crushing Finale before he starts to sell. The kickout shocks Miz again but he misses another running boot, allowing Dolph to score with the Zig Zag for the pin and the title at 7:57.

Rating: C-. These two don’t have any kind of special chemistry but they would fight each other for the better part of eternity because WWE doesn’t know how to set up anything fresh more than once every few months. Ziggler winning the title gave the fans a nice moment but there was nothing to the match.

We recap the latest part of the RIVETING Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon feud where Stephanie brought Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist to say she and Bryan had an affair, leading to Brie slapping the therapist and getting arrested, just as she had done to Stephanie a few weeks earlier. The affair stuff was so hated that they dropped it pretty much the next day.

Brie talks about doing a bunch of reflecting while she was in jail where she thought about Stephanie torturing Nikki while Brie was gone, how she insulted Bryan and how she paid the therapist to lie about an affair. She’s going to take out the beast tonight because that’s best for business. Oh dear I think I’m going to have something to say about this.

Divas Title: Paige vs. AJ Lee

Paige is challenging and they’ve been feuding for most of the summer with AJ returning and winning the title, causing Paige to start imitating her for reasons that still aren’t clear. They’re friends and enemies at the same time (yes I know there’s a word that combines the two and no I won’t use it) so Paige offers a handshake, only to have AJ rip some of her hair out. AJ stays all aggressive (Heaven help me if I say the other word about her) and sends Paige onto the announcers’ table, only to have Paige come back with a knee to the ribs.

The champ gets dropped onto the barricade but Paige realizes she can’t win the title via countout. Back in and we get Paige’s sexy crawl over AJ before she pulls her own hair extensions out. Well no one ever accused Paige of being normal. The chinlock on AJ goes nowhere and she’s able to shove Paige off the top, though she’s nice enough to blow her a kiss first.

A top rope clothesline to the floor drops Paige again. The Shining Wizard gets two but Paige kicks her in the face, only to have the Paige Turner countered into the Black Widow. Just like at the Raw after Wrestlemania though, Paige powers out again and scores with the Rampaige for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was similar to the Divas version of Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect back at Summerslam 1993 where they basically guaranteed a classic but just had a good match instead. This was one of the last good feuds before Nikki took over the title in a few months, which we’re somehow still surviving nine months later. Lucky us.

Summerslam 2015 will be in New York/New Jersey. That would be slightly changed to Brooklyn

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Speaking of things still going on later, these two are still having the same match the following summer. This is also a flag match, meaning a regular match with the winner getting their flag raised. Lana (rocking the white suit here) and Zeb Colter (remember him?) are the seconds. Before the match, Lana says that Hollywood is a great example of everything wrong with America. In real life, there is no happy ending and America is full of worthless cowards.

Swagger counters with members of the US Army Color Guard to present the American flag. Rusev jumps Jack before the bell and the American flag falls, which is a big sign of disrespect. Swagger counters into a Patriot Lock as we’re still waiting on the bell. The referee breaks it up so Lana orders Rusev to his feet. Now the bell rings and Jack goes after the leg and ankle again.

Rusev bails to the floor so Swagger, showing some fire for a change, follows him out with a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb hits knees though, which really should hurt the bad leg but why bother with logic? Jack happens to have bad ribs coming in so Rusev has his own target now. With the leg breaking down, Rusev opts for a bearhug, meaning he has to stay on his feet anyway. Jack can’t belly to belly his way to freedom but his second attempt works a bit better.

The Vader Bomb connects but hurts Jack’s ribs all over again. Rusev’s superkick is caught in the Patriot Lock but Rusev is quickly out, only to walk into a powerslam for two. The second superkick connects and the Accolade (on one leg) goes on, only to be countered into the Patriot Lock. Rusev kicks out of that as well, spinwheel kicks Jack down, and Accolades him again for the knockout victory.

Rating: C. This is a tricky one to grade, as yet again, since these guys have fought roughly a dozen times, I never once believed Rusev was in trouble. That being said, they did a good job here of using the ankle injury to try to add some drama. It’s a very difficult thing to do when there is almost zero doubt as to who is winning, but they gave it a good try.

The problem for these two is they’re still fighting on occasion and it never gets any closer for Jack. That’s something WWE is really bad about: they don’t understand that fans don’t want to see the same obvious match over and over again but that’s what we get because there’s no one other than Swagger (or Henry) to take these losses. Bring back unknown jobbers or something, because they have about the same chance of winning and would at least feel fresh for a change.

Rusev attacks Colter post match and the Russian flag comes down.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose, which is Dean’s first attempt for revenge on Seth after Rollins broke up the Shield over the summer. Seth ran a lot previously but tonight it’s time for a lumberjack match so Dean can finally get his hands on him.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Most of the lumberjacks were attacked by Rollins and the Shield at some point in the last year and a half. Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s a slugout as soon as they’re both in the ring with Dean taking over and knocking Rolling outside. That goes as badly as you would expect for Rollins so he goes back inside for something a bit safer: Ambrose ripping at his nose. This time it’s Dean being sent outside for a beating but some guys hold the attackers back.

Now it’s Rollins in control for a bit so Ambrose just punches him in the face. He goes up top for no logical reason (to be fair he’s supposed to be crazy) and gets caught in the Tree of Woe as Seth really takes over. A chinlock doesn’t go very far as Dean is sent to the apron, only to suplex Rollins over the top and out onto the lumberjacks in a big crash. The whole thing turns into a war with Dean backdropping Rollins over the barricade.

Dean dives onto the lumberjacks because he’s nuts and then down the announcers’ tables to get to Rollins in the crowd. This is more like what the match should have been and it’s about time they got to it. They fight into the balcony as Kane comes down to tell the lumberjacks to do their job. Bo Dallas stops Rollins from powerbombing Dean off the balcony so Seth runs towards the entrance but gets caught by Stardust, Big E. and the Usos.

Rollins is literally carried back to the ring but Dean is waiting on them with a huge dive off the top. Back in and Dirty Deeds is countered but Ambrose blasts him with the rebound lariat. NOW the crowd is way into things and Dean curb stomps Seth, only to have Kane come in for the save. The lumberjacks get in another fight because they all have anger management issues. Dean dispatches the Wyatts but walks into a briefcase shot to the face for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is one where your opinions may vary wildly and I’m not going to put up much of an argument either way. There were only so many ways that they mess with the idea to keep the lumberjack gimmick going (which fit the story) while also being insane. Good, insane brawl here and that’s what it needed to be.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt, which started because Bray decided it was time and didn’t like Jericho calling himself a savior. Jericho beat Wyatt clean at Battleground in a stupid decision so tonight the Family is barred from ringside. I have no idea why they thought this would make me interested in seeing it again but it’s better than another gimmick match.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

The fireflies are still so cool looking. Bray goes right after him to start and they’re quickly on the floor with Jericho stepping over Bray’s hat. That’s polite of him. Jericho gets shoved to the floor as the announcers start reading Tweets. I know the match isn’t the most thrilling story in the world but come on. A running knee sends Jericho’s head into the steps and Bray drives him into the post for good measure.

Back inside and we hit the chinlock, because no matter how insane or unconventional someone is, they make sure to throw on a chinlock. Like everyone has ever done, Jericho fights out with ease and gets one off an enziguri. Jericho’s dropkick stops a charging Bray but he walks into the release Rock Bottom for two. Sister Abigail is countered into the Walls but Bray gets a rope (unlike in NXT where he tapped to the Walls years ago).

Bray goes to the middle rope so Jericho can hurricanrana him back down for a delayed two. I’m never a fan of people going up just so someone can hit them with a move. It’s a stretch of the suspension of disbelief. Bray spiders up and says that he can’t die because he is already dead. Jericho breaks his code for two and Bray slides outside where he smacks Jericho in the face, setting up Sister Abigail into the barricade. Back in and another Sister Abigail is enough to give Bray the pin.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t really feeling this one as it’s a match that Bray was supposed to win and then did. He was still trying to recover from the huge blow of losing the feud to Cena and losing the first match to Jericho really didn’t do him any favors. The match was nothing to see either as Jericho was starting to run on fumes again here. This would have been so much more effective if Jericho hadn’t won the first match.

Bray serenades us post match.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon, which was a recap I needed when I watched this show live as the whole thing was such a mess. So Stephanie was all evil to Daniel Bryan, but Bryan is on the shelf with his neck injury so the feud was transferred over to Brie, because Brie and Bryan are totally the same thing.

Stephanie threatened to fire Brie but Brie quit first, leaving Stephanie to torture Nikki by putting her in handicap matches against such devastating forces as Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Cameron and Eva Marie. Yes, this was really supposed to be intimidating. Brie and Stephanie sued each other over slapping each other because that’s what this feud needed. Then Brie offered to drop the charges in exchange for a match with Stephanie at Summerslam, because that’s how wrestling works.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

This is Stephanie’s first match in ten years and the announcers act like it’s Bruno vs. Hogan. We immediately get to the point as Stephanie comes out in something that looks like a superhero outfit with skin tight leather that shows off every inch of her figure. Oh and of course she throws the Four Horsewomen sign to Ronda Rousey and the other three women whose names no one knows (in the front row when Rousey was just starting to make noise as a big time star) because Stephanie is cool like that.

The announcers swoon over Stephanie like it’s Trish in 2000 and then give Brie a polite response. That’s the match right there: Brie looks good while Stephanie looks amazing and it’s entirely by design. Stephanie shoves Brie against the ropes to start and blows her a kiss. Brie gets back up and can barely do a lockup properly. Some shoulders in the corner have Brie in more trouble as the announcers try to act like Brie is some big physical threat while also pointing out that Stephanie has long legs.

The big slap is blocked though and the threat of a YES Lock sends Stephanie outside, likely out of fear due to how bad Brie made the hold look on Raw a few weeks back. Brie’s suicide dive is blocked by a forearm to the face and it’s Stephanie in control again. Stephanie talks trash and busts out a Hennig neck snap, drawing a YOU STILL GOT IT (shut up. Stephanie never had it in the ring in the first place. Think before you chant) and even more praise from the announcers.

Stephanie cranks on both arms as Brie has been on offense for all of fifteen seconds so far. An evil look that would make Edge jealous looks to set up….something, but Brie comes back with a Thesz press and the YES Kicks in the corner. Well close enough to them as she can’t get the timing right because the one spot that is going to get her a cheer is too complicated for her.

The middle rope dropkick gets two on Stephanie and Brie follows up with some of the absolute worst punches I have ever seen. I mean even Lita’s horrible punches (go back and watch her matches. She’s one of the most athletic women in wrestling history but she couldn’t throw a good punch to save her life) look great compared to these. HHH comes out but Nikki is here as well because those two are so equal. The Pedigree is countered into whatever Brie calls her imitation of the YES Lock because that’s not the hold her husband uses.

HHH pulls the referee out anyway, which shocks Cole for some reason. I have no idea why Cole is switching sides so fast because he’s spent the last ten minutes praising Stephanie. Brie baseball slides HHH and does the YES chant, only to have Nikki come in….and turn on Brie because that’s the least logical and worst idea they could go with for this story. Stephanie Pedigrees Brie for the pin.

Rating: D+. Where do I even start with this one? First and foremost: Brie Bella is a horrible wrestler. She’s a beautiful woman, she’s found the right look for herself with the ripped tights and shirt tied around her waist and she can clap on the floor, but she just does not have it in the ring. Some of the stuff in here was Eva Marie level work with those punches and the inability to do a lockup properly just being unforgivable.

On top of that, this is the wrong story. After the months and months of the Authority tormenting the Bellas, they win here in the end with Brie getting squashed until a quick comeback at the end, only to have it all taken away from her again so we can get to the Bella feud that no one other than the Total Divas producers wanted to see. Nikki turning on Brie would lead to the “I wish you died in the womb” nonsense that went on forever and was then just dropped, but I spent a three months ranting about that so I’ll cut myself off for now. Brie should have won here, no matter how bad she looked in the ring.

That gets us to the final point: this match was ALL about Stephanie. Brie was just the person in the ring to bounce off of her as Stephanie got to look great (both mechanically and physically. I know she gets a lot of flack, but Stephanie can rock some tight outfits) out there and even had the crowd cheering for her. That praise was well deserved though as Stephanie was as polished here as any Diva had been since probably Mickie James but, as is always the case, Stephanie has to look great and can’t get any comeuppance. In this case though, she deserves a lot of praise because this was one heck of a performance.

Some fan won a contest and got to make a character called Mama’s Boy, complete with some training. He even got to make an entrance at NXT, to the Hurricane’s old theme song for some reason. Eh cute enough.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This is due to Reigns costing Orton a title shot and Reigns’ first big solo match. I like the blue trim on Reigns’ attire but it can be a bit distracting. Orton goes right at him to start and is quickly headbutted out to the floor. Some right hands and a clothesline put Orton outside again but he sends Reigns into the steps and takes it back inside for a chinlock. This isn’t exactly thrilling stuff so far. We hit the Garvin Stomp followed by a nice top rope superplex for two. I love a good superplex.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Reigns counters into a rear naked choke of all things. See, why doesn’t he do stuff like that more often today? There’s more to life than clotheslines. Orton falls backwards to escape and we’re right back to the chinlock. Orton isn’t exactly giving Reigns much to work with here. The Samoan drop gives Roman a breather and he jacks Randy’s jaw to set up the apron kick. Lawler: “Reigns kicked the Kryptonite out of him!”

Orton whips him into the barricade to take over again though and drops him onto the announcers’ table to keep Roman in trouble. Back in again and Reigns punches his way back into it (shocking I know), followed by a super Samoan drop for two more. The Superman Punch knocks Orton silly but he counters the spear into one heck of a powerslam. That looked great.

The Orton DDT gets two but Reigns gets up for another Superman Punch, only to dive into the RKO for a very near fall. Randy is livid so he loads up the Punt, which is about the dumbest thing you can do against someone who uses the spear for a finisher. Well that’s how it should have ended but instead Reigns just moves away from the Punt and then the spear is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be a huge turning point for Reigns’ career but it came off as just an ok match with some good moments. The first seven to eight minutes really dragged this down as the chinlocks took the crowd out of things. Now to their credit, Orton and Reigns were able to get them back later on but this needed some tweaks to really make it work. It’s Reigns’ biggest win yet but it really wasn’t anything great.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar. The idea is Cena beat Lesnar two and a half years ago when Lesnar returned, but since then Lesnar has reached his full Beast Mode and is the unstoppable monster. Cena is pretty clearly a fill in for the injured Daniel Bryan, who would have made for a better story here. They really aren’t hiding the fact that Lesnar is going to win the title here but you know Cena isn’t going down without a fight.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. They do the big staredown across the ring before the bell and we get one of my favorite Cole lines: “It’s the biggest fight of the summer.” I know that was the tagline going into this match but I love his delivery there. Before we get started, awesome sign in the crowd: “Cena wins, we logically discuss on Twitter.” Cena charges right at him but gets taken down to the mat…..and the F5 connects at thirty seconds. I actually screamed “NO WAY! NO WAY!” when I saw that for the first time.

Lesnar shouts that Cena just had his one chance and I think everyone in the building believes him. Cena looks totally out of it and we’re 90 seconds into this. The first release German suplex sends Cena flying and the fans are just stunned. German #2 has Cena’s mouth hanging open and the replay makes it look even worse. Cena wildly swings but only hits the mat.

A quick drive into the corner and some shots to the ribs just annoy Lesnar as he knees Cena to the mat and slaps on a chinlock so Cena can remember what planet he’s on. More punches from Cena are stopped by a knee as this is even more dominant than I remembered. Four more Germans (six total, counting a snap that I didn’t mention) have Cena a crippled mass in the middle of the ring. Lesnar drives even more knees into the ribs and pulls Cena up so he can throw another German.

The referee FINALLY checks on Cena, who says he’ll have two eggs and sausage. John goes flying off another German but elbows out of the next and gets in some right hands and a clothesline, followed by an AA for two. That seems like Cena’s last gasp though and he can’t follow up. Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up…..and starts laughing. He tells Cena to get out of the corner and bring it on while bouncing back and forth on his feet. Cena charges and gets taken down and pounded in the head.

Cena can’t even move on the mat but tells the referee to let it keep going. Lesnar is ticked off at Cena not quitting so he rolls four straight German suplexes, earning what sounds like applause. He still won’t quit, so there are three more rolling Germans. With Brock standing over him, Cena sweeps the leg and puts on the STF but Brock rolls over and just unloads on him with right hands. The F5 finally ends the slaughter and gives Brock the title.

Rating: A+. This was hard to watch. Not hard in the WCW or TNA hard to watch way, but in the “that’s enough, stop this before Cena dies” hard to watch way. This was a complete squash that ran 16:14. In that span of time, and this is being VERY generous at times, Cena was on offense for 1:22. That’s including the opening where they were grappling on the mat and the time where Cena was trying to break Brock’s grip.

Above all else though, this match did what it was supposed to do, which is make Brock Lesnar look like the biggest monster this side of Godzilla. This wasn’t a technical masterpiece or anything, but the fact that it got this kind of emotion out of me is doing something right. Outstanding performance and Cena selling so well made it even better.

Cena is checked on and can’t move to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Something occurred to me as I was getting ready for this show: I didn’t remember anything about it other than the main event. I can tell you the main event for all of the big four shows and every In Your House off the top of my head, but I had no idea that Orton and Reigns had a match here. Looking back, it’s easy to see why. Other than Lesnar vs. Cena, nothing on here is anything outside of the average range. Almost all of the redo ratings are in the middle of the pack and nothing else is memorable. It’s a watchable show, but totally forgettable, which isn’t something you should say about Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

AJ Lee vs. Paige

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Original: C+

Redo: C

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C-

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Original: C

Redo: B-

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C+

……what? I mean just…..what? That overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense. Other than Brie vs. Stephanie and maybe Orton vs. Reigns, nothing really changed drastically, but it went from great to above average? I REALLY got into that Lesnar vs. Cena match the first time around. That original rating actually made my eyes bug out when I read it to see what I had originally given the show.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/17/summerslam-2014-on-the-a-list/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1998
Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the Summerslam you guys requested that I do for the third time and I’m very glad that you picked a good one. 1998 was the year where the WWF really turned things around in the Monday Night Wars and Summerslam was the biggest show of the year, easily surpassing a two match show at Wrestlemania. The main event here is Undertaker vs. Austin for the title, but there are questions about Undertaker’s loyalties to Vince and Kane. Let’s get to it.

Unfortunately the opening video isn’t the one set to AC/DC but instead a well done video of Austin wondering if Undertaker and Kane are in cahoots (I love that word) against him. Vince has guaranteed that Undertaker will win the title with Kane helping him out tonight.

Before the first match, we get a quick announcement that Austin attacked a hearse that either Kane or Undertaker might have been inside. Thank goodness this is 1998 because today we’d get a series of videos from WWE.com and the YouTube channel showing how it happened and speculation over who was in it and words from 10 people on what it means. Instead just mention it here and move on because there’s other stuff to get to than a million recaps.

The entrance is a black gate over a red background with smoke in the aisle, directly opposite the hard camera. That’s such a cool visual and it works really well here.

European Title: D’Lo Brown vs. Val Venis

Brown is defending in a match that doesn’t have any real backstory, but it does have a sixth minute time limit. I love the name graphic covering Val’s gyrating crotch. Val’s pre-match speech is about coming, seeing and coming again. Brown is billed from Helsinki because he’s a real European.

Venis tries to chop the champ but hurts his arm on the chest protector, because of a very slow healing injury. A Russian legsweep works a bit better and Brown bails to the floor. That means it’s time to gyrate and the high pitched screams suggest it worked well. Back in and a spinebuster gets two on Brown as we see the mysterious rookie Edge watching from the crowd.

Venis misses a splash and since JR is JR, he points out that the splash would have hurt Val even more because of the chest protector. Brown gets in his first big move with an (appropriately) Irish whip into the corner to put Venis down. Back up and an overhead t-bone suplex of all things gives Val a breather, only to have the champ slam him down and drop a leg for two. JR gives us a great stat: Brown is 27 and Venis is 26. It’s a really good idea to bring up how young these guys are, especially when they’re doing well like this.

Another slam stays on Val’s back and Brown is smart enough to slap on a Texas cloverleaf for some psychology. D’Lo slams him again with Lawler saying “here comes some more!”, which I think was a soundbyte in WWF Attitude, a Nintendo 64 game. Val goes up but dives into a modified Sky High for no cover as Brown took himself out too. A DDT plants Val (really good one too) for a near fall and the New York fans are appreciating this match.

Brown goes up but opts for the second rope, allowing Venis to catch him in a powerslam for another near fall. Val drops him with a butterfly suplex but the Money Shot hits knees. You would think hitting the chest protector would have hurt just as much but close enough at least. Brown can’t get him up for a powerbomb and almost drops Val on the back of his head in a scary spot.

The second attempt gives us a Liger Bomb, allowing the referee to make sure Val doesn’t have a broken neck. The champ misses the Low Down (Lawler: “How does Val Venis continue to rise up like that?) and they slug it out from their knees. Val finally wakes up and takes off the chest protector, only to put it on himself. The referee isn’t pleased and accidentally crotches Venis on top, causing Val to shove him down for the DQ.

Rating: B. This is one of the biggest “WHERE DID THAT COME FROM” moments in wrestling history as both guys had the match of their lives here but never got close to it again. They were just beating the tar out of each other out there and working as hard as I’ve ever seen them go, making for one heck of an opener and a borderline classic. Give this an ending and it’s even higher.

Venis beats up the referee and gives him the Money Shot post match.

Mankind laments the destruction of the hearse and plugs the Brisco Brothers Body Shop. Maybe he can use his sledgehammer after all.

Kai En Tai vs. Oddities

This is a 4-3 handicap match but more importantly, the Insane Clown Posse play the Oddities to the ring and blow the roof off the place. As usual, Kurrgan dancing badly is one of my favorite things in wrestling due to how serious his face looks. Golga (the 6’8, 450lb Earthquake) starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and all four Kai En Tai members are destroyed in about eight seconds.

Golga steals Yamaguchi-San’s (Kai En Tai’s manager) shoes and almost falls down from the smell. Kurrgan comes in to face Funaki and is nice enough to get on his knees so they can be the same height. I always appreciate a polite dancing monster. Kurrgan throws all four of them around just as easily as Golga did as this isn’t going well for the Japanese contingent. Off to Giant Silva, who is about 4 inches taller than Kurrgan, who could look down at Undertaker.

All four try Silva at the same time and the Oddities go 3-3 in their dominance. Silva puts all four of them in the corner before his partners come in to help whip everyone across the ring. Now it’s Taka being launched over the top onto the other three. This is getting hilarious with how one sided it is. Funaki and Men’s Teioh come in and double dropkick Golga before actually slamming him down.

Four straight top rope splashes keep Golga in trouble and four straight legdrops get no cover. The referee is fine with letting all four of them in there but can you blame him at this point? Golga clotheslines all four of them at once (that looked cool) and all three Oddities come in, leaving Yamaguchi-San to get beaten up by Luna Vachon. A triple quadruple chokeslam lets Golga pin all four men at once for the win.

Rating: C+. I know they’re not very good and they were never going anywhere, but I’ll always have a soft spot for the Oddities. They’re a total guilty pleasure for me but I have such a good time watching them. It’s an act where you know what you should be getting and that’s exactly what you got. Total comedy match here but I had fun.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

This is hair vs. hair with Howard Finkel in X-Pac’s corner due to Jarrett and his cronies Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns, in an even worse gimmick) shaved his hair earlier in the night. We even get Howard doing the crotch chop to really pop the crowd. Jarrett is told to suck it and goes after X-Pac to start, only to get kicked in the face to send him outside, followed by a nice middle rope plancha.

Jeff tries a sunset flip back inside but X-Pac just steps to the side. I don’t remember seeing that anywhere else but it’s a very smart counter. X-Pac is very talented in the ring, all of his outside the ring shenanigans aside. Things get a bit too quick though and X-Pac gets crotched against the post to stop his momentum cold.

Back in and a powerslam gets two for Jeff as they’re keeping this quick enough to not bore the New York crowd with Jarrett’s Memphis style. We hit the sleeper on X-Pac and it’s so strange to hear Fink’s familiar voice as a cheerleader. X-Pac does the same sequence to counter the sleeper that has happened in every Jeff Jarrett match ever but Jeff puts him on the top instead of suplexing him down.

The middle rope cross body misses, just like the spinwheel kick and Jarrett is in trouble. Like any good southern villain with his opponent on the mat, Jeff slaps on a figure four, despite not touching X-Pac’s legs so far. A rope is quickly grabbed and now the belly to back puts Jarrett down but X-Pac can’t follow up.

Jarrett gets two off a high cross body but his leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for the same. A Bronco Buster attempt hits a raised boot but Finkel distracts the referee (Fink: “HE KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS!”), allowing X-Pac to hit a quick X Factor for no cover. Instead here’s Southern Justice to slide in a guitar but the distraction lets X-Pac take it away from Jeff and knock him silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s another match where both guys were working hard to get a pretty uninteresting match over and that’s exactly what they did. Jarrett is in his element here as a bully midcarder who gets his comeuppance at the hands of a popular act. Read as: NOT A MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE CONTENDER.

The New Age Outlaws, Droz and the Headbangers come out to make sure Jarrett gets his hair shaved. Jeff arguing with the referee about the guitar as he’s held in the chair is great stuff.

Doc Hendrix previews the Lion’s Den, a UFC knockoff.

Rock is pleased by attacking HHH’s knee on Sunday Night Heat earlier in the night. We get a guarantee that Rock is retaining the title tonight, if you smell what he’s cooking. Kevin Kelly: “Well there you ha….” Rock: “Shut up.”

Sable/??? vs. Jacqueline/Marc Mero

Sable needs a mystery partner to help her out here after Mero dumped her for Jacqueline. This led to some contests between the two with Jacqueline getting the upper hand most of the time due to a combination of Mero and, you know, being a wrestler. Sable comes to the ring alone but introduces her partner as…..Edge. The guys get things going with Mero stomping away in the corner until Edge comes back with some Japanese armdrags.

Lawler isn’t sure if this is Edge or The Edge. Jacqueline comes in so Sable demands a tag, sending Jacqueline scurrying off to the floor. It’s back to the guys but Jacqueline grabs Edge’s leg to let Mero take over again. Edge escapes the TKO and takes Mero down with a DDT to give himself a breather. The double tag brings in the women and it’s catfight time. A chase sends Jacqueline to the floor but Mero is waiting on Sable.

That’s fine with her as she loads up a powerbomb, only to have Jacqueline jump her to take over again. That earns Jacqueline a half decent TKO but it’s Mero making a save this time. Back up and Jacqueline hits Mero by mistake, giving Sable the opening to fix her hair. Edge comes in and dives on Mero to fire the crowd up again. Jacqueline gets a spanking to keep them rolling, followed by a high cross body for two on Marc.

More heel miscommunication puts Jacqueline on the floor and Mero gets crotched on top. Sable busts out a top rope hurricanrana for two, followed by the worst “accidental falling headbutt into a low blow” from Jacqueline to Mero. Edge plants Mero with the Downward Spiral (actually called that) and picks Sable up for a splash to give her the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah I still don’t care for this one. Sable was a very popular character and it made sense to put her on this show, but it’s still not a good match. Edge getting a big spot like this is a nice touch, but it’s still not an interesting match or story. Thankfully the Sable vs. Mero stuff would wrap up soon after this and Edge would go on to be part of the Brood.

Mankind is told that Kane can’t be his partner tonight so maybe he should just forfeit the titles. If the fans want their money’s worth though, maybe Michael Cole can be his partner. Or better yet, maybe Mankind can go play in the traffic. Vince comes in and brings up Mankind hitchhiking to Madison Square Garden as a teenager. The boss thinks Mankind can defend the titles against the Outlaws on his own, even though he doesn’t have a sledgehammer.

Vince hands him what looks like a candelabra and a cookie sheet. That’s enough to inspire Mankind and he has thirteen words for the Outlaws: “How much would would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Well no one ever accused Foley of making the most sense. I have no idea why but I always loved this segment as Mankind was so perfect for this character and Vince manipulating him was always entertaining.

We recap Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock, which is more about Dan Severn and his manly mustache against Shamrock in a UFC feud. Severn was Owen’s trainer and taught him how to fight with submissions, setting up the Lion’s Den match here.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in a small theater adjacent to MSG. The match is held in a small, circular cage which is about as blatant of a ripoff of a UFC cage as you can get. You win by submission or knockout. Hart is a member of the Nation but Severn is the only person here with him. Shamrock easily takes him down to start until Owen counters into a leglock. Ken gets dropped with a spinebuster but floats over and unloads with right hands.

A low blow is shrugged off as well and Shamrock takes Owen’s head off with a clothesline. The cage starts coming into play with Shamrock climbing the cage into another clothesline, only to miss a charge into the steel. The fans are entirely behind Shamrock as he gets thrown face first against the cage. Lawler isn’t sure what to call the structure. JR: “How about the Lion’s Den?” Lawler: “Uh, ok.” Owen can’t piledrive him and his hurricanrana is countered into a nice powerbomb.

Both guys are bleeding from the face and Owen scores with a powerslam and a nice belly to belly. The Sharpshooter is on but Ken crawls over and climbs the cage to escape in a nice counter. Something like a tornado DDT out of the corner drops Owen but he grabs the dragon sleeper, only to have Shamrock climb the cage and roll over into the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: C+. Again, they tried something different here, even though it was just a glorified cage match. Both guys were trying hard out there, which really is a theme for the show so far. Shamrock looked like a gladiator, but it really doesn’t need to set up a feud with Severn. At the end of the day, neither guy can talk and one of them is Dan Severn, so how far can this really go?

Austin will do whatever it takes to retain the title tonight.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind

Mankind is defending on his own and comes out with a big metal dumpster because this is a hardcore match. The Outlaws are in South Park shirts, which still look weird at this point. Mankind and Billy duel with chairs until Road Dogg sneaks in from behind to take over. They start cracking Mankind in the head with whatever metal objects they can find but a swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two on Gunn.

That earns Mankind more double teaming and a ram into the side of the dumpster. It’s table time back inside, but it’s one of those old tables that looks a bit more realistic that the common ones. Billy is sent through it as well though and Mankind has a breather. Lawler is freaking out because Vince might have been right but a reverse 3D drops the champ again. A double powerbomb through two open chairs only gets two and Dogg stops to jaw with the referee. Instead it’s a spike piledriver onto the belt to give the Outlaws the titles back.

Rating: D+. There isn’t much to talk about here as this was a glorified squash for obvious reasons. Mankind is a tough guy but having him beat a top level team like the Outlaws on his own would have been way too much. This also sets up more stuff with Kane for Mankind so what else can you really ask for?

The Outlaws put Mankind in the dumpster but Kane is inside, sledgehammer in hand. With Mankind out of camera range, Kane slams the hammer down into the dumpster and everyone goes silent.

We recap HHH vs. Rock, which was disguised as DX vs. the Nation. Rock won almost every major match leading to this final blowoff, including costing HHH the European Title. Tonight it’s a ladder match for Rock’s Intercontinental Title, which he’s held for a remarkable nine months. The only solution was to hold the title above the ring and channel Shawn vs. Razor at Wrestlemania X.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Rock is defending and of course this is a ladder match. Chris Warren and the DX Band sings HHH to the ring because 1998 was a time when people actually knew who Chris War was. HHH destroys the band’s equipment for reasons that aren’t exactly clear but here’s the Rock to turn things serious. The seconds here are Chyna and Mark Henry, which aren’t exactly fair. I mean, at this point Chyna was kind of awesome and Henry was…..well he was Mark Henry. The title isn’t hung above the ring yet so we have to wait a few seconds for it to go up.

Rock drops a few F Bombs before it’s time to slug it out. A big clothesline puts Rock down and HHH hammers away, followed by the facebuster. Neither finisher can hit and HHH is backdropped over the top to give HHH a reason to limp on his legitimately bad knee. They slug it out in the aisle with HHH getting the better of it but limping back inside so Rock can hammer away again.

It’s already time to go for the ladder but instead of just picking it up, Rock whips HHH face first into the ladder instead. Why bother with anything but violence if you don’t have to? Rock starts a climb but HHH dives off the top to break it up, only to have the ladder fall onto his back. There isn’t much effect though (HHH is allowed to no sell at least once in every big match) and HHH climbs up, only to get nailed in the knee to bring him back down.

Rock goes in after the knee with elbows before realizing he has a ladder at his disposal. The leg gets crushed between the ladder but now it’s time for a chair to crush it even worse. He wraps the leg around the post as well before driving the knee into the ladder for good measure. Ever the cocky one, Rock climbs up as slowly as he can, allowing HHH to knock the ladder over for the save.

You don’t cut the Rock off on the second rung though so he takes HHH and the ladder to the floor for a catapult into the steel. I’m sure it happened at some point before but someone should catapult the ladder into a person instead. Rock keeps it going by backdropping HHH onto the ladder and this is getting ugly.

Henry thinks (yes seriously) the ladder is too busted up so he throws in another so Rock can climb faster. Chyna forearms Henry in the face, allowing HHH to dive in for the save. A baseball slide puts the ladder into Rock’s face and HHH has his first control in a long time. The bloody Rock is able to pull the ladder down again before setting the second ladder on the top rope. I don’t see this ending well, but that could be because I’ve seen this many times.

HHH is smart enough to break up whatever Rock had in mind though and plants him with a DDT. They climb the ladder again and Rock shoves him down and into the ladder in the corner, only to have HHH bounce into the standing ladder to knock Rock throat first into the top rope. Rock is up first and grabs a ladder, only to have HHH blast it with a chair over and over to get a breather.

Back up and Rock wins a slugout before slamming HHH onto the ladder for the People’s Elbow. Neither guy can follow up though and it’s HHH climbing first, only to dive into a Rock Bottom for no logically explained reason. HHH is able to get up again and pulls Rock (and his trunks) down, followed by the big Pedigree to give himself the best chance he’s had all match. As he’s getting up though, Henry throws powder in his face. The blind HHH climbs, only to get punched in the face by Rock. This brings in Chyna for a low blow on Rock, allowing HHH to finally pull down the belt to win.

Rating: A. This is one of my favorite matches of all time and it still more than holds up. It’s a match that launched both guys up the ladder to the next level with HHH becoming an upper midcarder and Rock becoming a main eventer who would pick up the World Title in November. The key thing here though is they focused on the wrestlers and the drama instead of the ladder and the spots, which almost always make for the best matches. Check this one out if you want a great brawl with some awesome back and forth action which meant a great deal going forward.

We get some exclusive home video footage of Rock stumbling to the back and swearing revenge that wouldn’t come for years. He’s still the People’s Champ.

Quick recap of Undertaker vs. Austin, minus the awesome video package, which is built around where Undertaker’s loyalties lie. He may or may not be in league with both Kane and Vince, but there’s no actual proof either way. It feels like a conspiracy against Austin, which really isn’t all that shocking when you consider who he had gone to war with all summer.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Austin is defending. They get in each other’s faces to start before trading wristlocks. A rollup with tights gets two for the champ and he puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things. It’s off to a regular armbar as Austin could never look right with a technical hold like a Fujiwara armbar. Then disaster strikes as Undertaker ducks his head and gets kicked in the face, only to have Undertaker snap his head up and nail Austin in the jaw, knocking him silly for the rest of the match.

Once Austin can stand again, a quick Thesz press attempt is countered into a hot shot for two as you can see Austin is WAY off. Undertaker slowly punches and stomps away but Austin is coherent enough to go after the leg and wrap it around the post. It’s not enough though as Undertaker comes back with the running clothesline and some good old fashioned choking. Old School is easily broken up and it’s back to the knee as there’s only so much they can do here aside from striking.

Cue Kane as a 3:16 chant starts up. The distraction lets the referee make sure Austin knows what planet he’s on but Undertaker tells Kane to head back because he wants to do this himself. Austin goes after Undertaker on the floor again but takes too much time, setting up a nearly falling chokeslam from the apron back inside. Undertaker can’t cover though, allowing Austin to clothesline him out to the floor and right onto that bad knee.

They brawl up the aisle and into the crowd, which is probably best for Austin as it’s a lot less complicated for a scrambled brain to deal with. Undertaker backdrops him onto the concrete as the knee seems fine. Austin goes spine first into the post, heads back inside, and is promptly thrown right back to the floor in an awkward landing. It’s time for the big spot as Undertaker lays Austin onto the announcers’ table and heads up top for a HUGE legdrop, crushing Austin but not the table for maybe the biggest spot Undertaker has ever done.

Somehow it only gets two, which is only right as Undertaker’s foot was under the bottom rope. You would expect a better enforcement of the rules from Earl Hebner. This time it’s Undertaker missing a charge into the corner and running into a double clothesline to put both guys down. It’s time for the hero comeback with Austin winning a slugout and hitting the Thesz press. Something like the Stunner is mostly botched as Undertaker falls backwards with Austin landing on top of him for two.

Undertaker comes back with the chokeslam but Austin escapes the tombstone. They have an awkward exchange in the corner with Austin getting crotched on the top rope, followed by a Russian legsweep from Undertaker to put both guys down. Old School is loaded up again but Undertaker dives into a low blow, setting up the Stunner to retain Austin’s title.

Rating: B-. This is a really hard one to grade after the injury to Austin. It’s much more a collection of spots loosely tied together instead of a match, but the big spots worked well enough and Austin won as clean as he was going to win in a main event match in 1998. It’s also really nice to not have all the interference for a change because that was the norm for so long at this point. Good match, but it’s definitely a few steps beneath Austin’s usual greatness.

Undertaker hands the belt to Austin and Kane comes out to stand by his brother’s side to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Oh yeah it still holds up. This is a great show with some awesome matches that capped off stories while also setting up some stuff for the future. Above all else though it felt like a major show, which isn’t really the case at any other show all year. It’s still one of the best Summerslams and a show you kind of have to see at least once.

Ratings Comparison

Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Original: B

Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

Original: C-

Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Original: B

Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs. Sable/Edge

Original: F

Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

2015 Redo: B

This is a good example of why I don’t do a third take of shows very often. Most of the ratings are either the same or really close to the same with the World Title and Tag Team Title matches having the same rating every time. I think we’ve found my definitive take on those matches and I really don’t have anything else to say about most of them. I’ll do a different Summerslam next year and a fresh review of each of the big four every year though, as it’s a fun thing to look back at, especially a good show like this one.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/01/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1998-the-biggest-summerslam-ever/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/03/summerslam-count-up-1998-rock-and-hhh-ascend/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the night. Even though the build hasn’t been the best in recent history, this is still Wrestlemania and the biggest show of the year. The main event is the recently re-signed Brock Lesnar defending his WWE World Heavyweight Title against the winner of the Royal Rumble, Roman Reigns. The card looks good on paper but that has to translate to something more. Let’s get to it.

The stage is HUGE and has a big circle in the middle for a Titantron.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kid vs. New Day

One fall to a finish here. Cesaro and Kidd are defending, Jey Uso has a banged up shoulder and it’s Kofi and Big E for New Day. The Usos are in regular short trunks with tassels and are in San Francisco 49ers colors. The fans are behind Cesaro as he starts with Kingston but Fernando tags Cesaro to come in. Cesaro goes after Jey on the floor and sends him into the barricade, likely to write him out of the match due to his shoulder.

Back in and Kofi takes Fernando down for two as Jimmy checks on his brother. Diego slingshots in with a hilo to Kofi and it’s back to Cesaro for a chinlock. Jey is taken out as Kidd comes in for the Swing into the dropkick for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until it’s only Kofi and Kidd with the latter holding a chinlock. Jimmy comes back in and cleans house with superkicks all around and four straight running Umaga attacks in the corner.

Kofi dives off the top onto Fernando, leaving Jimmy to drop Kidd for a close two. Cesaro drops Jimmy with an uppercut but Big E. tags himself in for a splash on both guys. He throws Kofi at Cesaro for two but everyone goes to the corner for a series of superplexes, a splash and Los Matadores with a powerbomb into a backstabber for two on Kofi. Natalya (and her very low cut outfit) offer a distraction, allowing Torito to hurricanrana Woods into the barricade.

Natalya puts Torito in the Sharpshooter but Naomi dives on a bunch of people, followed by a Rear View to Natalya. Back in and the Midnight Hour gets two on Fernando with Jimmy and Cesaro making a save. The referee actually says Big E. isn’t legal (Lawler: “How would he know?”) with Fernando but Kidd tags himself in anyway, only to have Big E. throw him and Fernando onto his shoulders at the same time.

Kofi kicks Kidd and knees Cesaro in the corner but Los Matadores get in there to knock Cesaro to the floor. The announcers are already calling this a car wreck. A six man Tower of Doom puts everyone not named Uso down, leaving Jimmy to splash Big E. but Cesaro runs in to steal the pin and retain at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last year but it was a completely different kind of match. This was a huge mess with everyone all over the place and no flow to the match after the five minute mark. That being said, at least they went with the right choice for the winners and Natalya got to keep looking awesome. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and fun, which is what something like this should be doing.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor, Viktor, Hideo Itami, Cesaro, Jimmy Uso, Diego, Fernando, Bo Dallas, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Xavier Woods, Tyson Kidd, Alex Riley

There are some unannounced people in there, including everyone in the opener, but I’m not sure I have everyone included. Axel does the Hogan pose and everyone eliminates him at once. It’s a huge mess to start so it’s really hard to see what’s going on. Itami kicks away at Cesaro and gets a great reaction from the fans. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami. Miz and Mizdow go after Riley and get him out without too much of a problem.

Bo Dallas breaks up the Broski Boot and dumps Ryder, only to eliminate himself in celebration. He goes back in anyway so Itami kicks him out again. Kidd and Itami kick it out but Big Show punches Hideo out. So much for NXT meaning anything. Kane dumps Los Matadores and Cesaro throws Sin Cara onto the two of them. Henry throws Kidd onto the pile but Ascension gets together to throw him out.

Ascension goes after Big Show as and actually knock him down but JBL points out the obvious problem that creates. Ryback eliminates Viktor and Konnor at the same time, followed by doing the same to Young and Slater. Titus gets eliminated by Ryback as well but it’s Big Show clotheslining Ryback down before knocking out Swagger. New Day triple teams Big Show but he eliminates all of them with ease. We’re down to Jimmy Uso, Rowan, Big Show, Cesaro, Kane, Ryback, Goldust, Miz and Mizdow.

Things finally slow down until Big Show eliminates Rowan (were you expecting anything else?) and Ryback dumps Goldust. Kane breaks up a Shell Shock to Big Show and chokeslams Miz and Mizdow. Cesaro hangs on and slides back in to slam Kane out for a big reaction. Show tosses Jimmy and it’s Cesaro vs. Big Show just like last year. This time though Big Show escapes the slam and throws Cesaro out. Instead it’s Ryback spinebustering Show as we’re down to Ryback, Big Show, Miz and Mizdow.

Show counters the Meat Hook and throws out Ryback, leaving Show to smile at the only two left. The fans cheer for Mizdow, who FINALLY tells Miz no. Miz tries to talk him down and yells at him as Big Show just stands around for two minutes while they argue. Miz goes after Big Show and gets eliminated to a big reaction, only to turn around and see Big Show.

JBL keeps harping on Big Show never winning a battle royal in WWE but Mizdow skins the cat to get back inside. He hammers away but gets taken down by a shoulder. Mizdow avoids a charge to send Show to the apron but Show grabs him by the throat. A guillotine choke looks to do the same ending as the 2004 Royal Rumble but Show shoves him off and wins at 18:11.

Rating: D+. Good grief man really? I mean REALLY? Their big idea is to FINALLY turn Mizdow to a hug…..screw sarcasm. I’m sick of Big Show, I’m sick of him getting pushed, I’m sick of WWE thinking he’s interesting because he’s big, and I’m sick of his old body getting these big moments because he was there in the Attitude Era with his stupid country sounding song. Thanks for all the work Mizdow. Maybe you’ll get a better push if you grow a foot and turn 44.

Aloe Blacc (I haven’t heard of him either) sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features LL Cool J talking about how universal the world has become with everyone being connected. However, one thing stays the same: us. People come together and feel a connection between themselves. J talks about some great moments in Wrestlemania and says these generations have come together for this night. Kind of a far cry from the huge party down the streets of New Orleans.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Ladder match with Barrett defending. Pat Patterson is here to put the belt up, which makes sense as he’s the first Intercontinental Champion and had his greatest fame in this area. Ziggler seems to have braided his hair, Stardust has a cape and Ambrose gets the loudest pop. Dean hits the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry. Truth flip dives onto Barrett and Ambrose but Stardust dives onto all three.

Harper throws Ziggler outside too and hits a big suicide dive. Not to be out done, Dean climbs a ladder for a flying elbow drop to the pile. Truth is up first and goes for the belt but Barrett cleans house with a ladder of his own. Bryan comes in with some running dropkicks to crush Stardust into the ladder into Barrett in the corner but Harper throws the ladder at Daniel’s head. Harper gets tied upside down in the ladder and Bryan fires off some YES Kicks. Apparently being a former World Champion makes you immune to falling ladders.

Ziggler and his hair of doom comes back in with a superkick to Daniel before getting into a climbing contest with Dean. Barrett pulls both guys down before Stardust knocks all three of them down and crushes Ambrose’s legs in the ladder. Stardust goes outside and pulls out the, I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Star Bird. In other words, a ladder with glitter on the sides. That’s fine with Barrett who rips a rung off and beats Stardust with it because I guess he likes black ladders.

We get a stepladder thrown in and Harper sends Dean face first into the ladder in the corner. It’s time for the Terry Funk helicopter spot but Truth drop toeholds him down to break it up. Truth brings in the big ladder but can’t find the middle of the ring, allowing Barrett and Stardust to climb up with Bad News superplexing him down. Dean shoves Bryan and Ziggler’s ladder down before hitting the rebound clothesline to Harper.

That’s fine with Luke as he powerbombs Dean over the top and through a bridged ladder at ringside. Dolph puts Harper in the sleeper but Luke climbs anyway, only to fall backwards to crush Ziggler again. Ziggler is up first though and makes a fast attempt, only to get pulled into a Bull Hammer. Stardust and Truth get one as well but it’s Bryan making the save, only to have Ziggler and Barrett pull down. Back up and the running knee puts Bad News down but Ziggler sprints up the ladder for a slugout. The belt starts swaying but it turns into a headbutt exchange. It’s Ziggler going down though and Bryan wins at 13:55.

Rating: B. Total mess for the most part here but Bryan winning is the smart move. The guy is still one of the most popular guys on the roster and hopefully they’re not going to give him the losing streak. Maybe this makes it the wrestler’s title again, which would be the best thing they could do with the belt. Really good opener here with the right ending to top it off. Harper looked great here too and is a star in the making if they ever figure out how to use him.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins with a different twist: both guys have been called the future but now Orton might be surpassed. Then they go with the stupid story of Orton attacking the Authority, then joining the Authority, then attacking them again. It never made sense before and it doesn’t now.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Orton has elbow pads again. Some headlocks get us nowhere so Rollins does a standing backflip, only to eat a dropkick. After a quick chase on the floor, Rollins stomps away in the corner but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. The RKO is broken up by a Stooges distraction, earning them a double elevated DDT onto the floor to get us down to one on one. It takes too much time though and Rollins nails a suicide dive to take Orton out.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins takes Orton down with a running splash in the corner. An early Curb Stomp attempt is countered into a powerslam followed by a t-bone suplex. Another elevated DDT is countered though and Rollins kicks him to the floor for an Asai Moonsault. Back in and Orton’s superplex is countered but he backdrops Rollins to break up superbomb attempt.

Rollins rolls through a high cross body for two but now the elevated DDT connects. The RKO is countered into the low superkick but Rollins tries a standing Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the RKO for a very close near fall. That’s not a move you see kicked out of often (outside of a John Cena match of course). The Stooges come in to break up the Punt and take RKOs, setting up a Curb Stomp for another close two. Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash but tries another Curb Stomp, only to be LAUNCHED into the air for the RKO and the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. Not quite the show stealer it could have been, but man alive that was one heck of an RKO. I was thinking they were going to do the Phoenix Splash into the RKO but that would have been a bit too far. The ending was sweet though and it’s the second really good match in a row to start things off. Orton winning is surprising, but we might not be done with Rollins tonight.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting with the on the Authority being corrupt before changing to HHH just wanting to end Sting’s legacy.

Sting vs. HHH

Sting is played out by a Japanese drum group. HHH one ups him with scenes from the new Terminator movie, a shot from the Terminator’s view, and an army of Terminators on stage. HHH is in Terminator attire and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appears on the screen to say it’s time to play the game. Sting shouldn’t be scared. After all, he knows Robocop. In an added stipulation, you can only win by pinfall or submission. Sting is in his singlet instead of a t-shirt.

After a 45 second staredown, it’s time for the first lockup with Sting shouldering him down. HHH does the same and throws out a crotch chop. Sting is right back up with a dropkick and HHH is stunned. The facebuster is no sold but HHH bails from a Scorpion attempt. Sting follows him out and gets sent hard into the steps to give HHH his first advantage. Back in and HHH starts on the ribs before putting on a chinlock. That goes as far as you would expect before HHH gets two off a spinebuster. We hit the chinlock again but Sting counters into the Deathlock.

Cue the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac (remember no DQ). Sting fights them off with ease and throws HHH to the floor before dives off the top to take DX down! Back in and the Pedigree connects for two with the fans not really buying that as a major threat just yet. It’s sledgehammer time but cue Hall, Nash and Hogan to make it about the Monday Night Wars again. You know, because Sting was SO into the Black and White.

The Death Drop gets two on HHH and we hit a long Deathlock as everyone fights at ringside (with Nash going down and holding his leg, which would be one heck of a rib). Shawn Michaels runs in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up but Sting gets up at two. Gunn hands HHH the sledgehammer but Hall gives Sting the bat. A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another BREAKS THE HAMMER! The Stinger Splash staggers HHH but he comes back with the head of the hammer to knock Sting cold for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. GOOD GRIEF. I was having a great time with the nostalgia until they completely missed the point with the ending. What in the world is the point in bringing Sting in to have him lose? For the sake of doing one more shot at WCW for the Monday Night Wars? That thing that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and Vince still isn’t over? The worst part for me was the match was actually rocking before the ending. This was a really fun match until the bad ending, which is way more than I was expecting.

HHH shakes his hand post match. Uh, no. YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND!

New series coming to WWE Network: Camp WWE (Rated mature), Jerry Springer’s Too Hot For WWE, a Jackass style show and the new Divas Search.

Daniel Bryan is with Maria Menunos (in a Bushwhackers shirt) when Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (with a kiss to the head), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair come up to congratulate him. A Woo-off ensues until Bret Hart comes in to shake Bryan’s hand and starts a YES chant. Cue Ron Simmons and you know the rest.

Skyler Gray performs the theme song. I’ll use this break to say this show has rocked so far and is WAY better than I was expecting coming in.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

No recap video but it’s about the Bellas being celebrities and AJ/Paige being themselves. Paige (with blue highlights) takes Nikki down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for an early two. Off to Brie for a front facelock before knocking AJ off the apron. The BRIE MODE running knee to the face gets two for Brie before Nikki comes in with a spinebuster. Paige fights back but there’s still no AJ to tag. Instead she just dives off the apron with a flip to take out both Bellas and now the hot tag brings in AJ.

A quick tornado guillotine onto the top rope sets up a high cross body but Nikki rolls through for two of her own. Nikki lifts her up for an electric chair but AJ spins out into a DDT which was slightly botched but looked good enough. Brie breaks up the Black Widow but Nikki’s big forearm only gets two. Paige sends Brie into the steps and the Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:40.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. It was a step above most Divas matches but this really didn’t do anything special. Like I said coming into this match, if there’s nothing on the line, this doesn’t mean much. I’m pretty sure AJ has made Nikki tap before, so this really doesn’t mean anything. Decent match but it certainly didn’t knock anything out of the park. The time didn’t do it any favors though.

Hall of Fame video.

The Class of 2015 is presented. Butch is on crutches but still does the arm wacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev. Cena passed out in the Accolade last month but he choked Rusev out to get a rematch. This is firmly about the USA vs. Russia and Cena wanting to bring the title back home.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Lana is back and carrying the title, flanked by Russian soldiers carrying the Russian flag. Rusev RIDES OUT IN A TANK to the Russian national anthem. Cena counters with an American theme with various Presidents talking about American exceptionalism but just walks out with the fans singing “John Cena sucks” in time to his music ala the Raw after Wrestlemania last year. Rusev insists that his big match intro is first and Cena stares a hole through him.

Rusev scores with an early spinwheel kick for two and throws Cena around with a suplex. He stops to get the Russian flag though and Cena gets fired up, meaning it’s time to start his finishing sequence. The AA doesn’t work though and Rusev gets two off a spinning belly to back suplex. Rusev gets the same off a spinning Rock Bottom but his superplex is countered for a top rope Fameasser. The fans start chanting for Lana but get shut down as Cena gets two off a tornado DDT.

Rusev comes back with a knee to the head and an Alabama Slam (Russian for “TELL HER THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!”) for two. Cena takes him down with the STF but Lana throws her shoes in for some reason (that was a real, ahem, heel move) as Rusev makes the ropes. He slams Cena down again and goes up for a pretty good looking top rope headbutt and two more.

The Accolade doesn’t work so Cena gets up, jumps at the ropes like a Lionsault but catches Rusev in a Stunner of all things for two. Rusev shrugs it off and puts on the Accolade but Cena gets to his feet and rams Rusev into the corner. The STF goes on but Lana offers a distraction, only to have Rusev accidentally knock her down, setting up the AA for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: B-. Good match but a bit below their previous match and not exactly the emotion they were going for. They hit all the big points but Cena winning was kind of just there instead of having a big impact. I’m thinking more about that Stunner than anything else, but it’s nice to see Cena with a midcard title and taking a backseat to the World Title. Not that he doesn’t belong in the title scene, but this is refreshing.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana and leaves.

It’s 9:30 and we have two matches left. Those are going to have to go a long time to make this fit. It’s possible that that’s a stretch.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas on April 3, 2016.

The pre-show panel talks for a bit and recaps the two matches before the show started.

Here are Stephanie and HHH to announce the new attendance record: 76,976. Stephanie talks about being at Wrestlemania I to watch her friend Andre the Giant (my goodness let it go Steph) slam Big John Studd. She takes credit for the evolution of WWE because this company has grown under her leadership. HHH says he beat Sting tonight but he also beat everyone who bet against them. It’s like he beat everyone here tonight and millions more around the world. He owned Sting and every superstar and Diva back there. They own the people too and you know what that means.

Cue the Rock for a huge ovation. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him. Can you be quiet now?” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because he’s an East Bay boy (meaning from this area of California). HHH’s options are to go dress up like Terminator again or we can have a Wrestlemania moment right here, right now. HHH remembers beating Rock in most of their matches so he has nothing to prove. Rock left his heart in San Francisco but HHH left his balls in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in his face and says Rock is trying to get the fans to cheer for him because he knows without the McMahons, there is no Rock. She brings up Rock’s father and grandfather but the fans chant for Shane. Rock says Stephanie can run her mouth about the McMahons and the Johnsons, but she wouldn’t be in power without McMahon’s Johnson. Stephanie slaps him in the face and asks if he’s going to hit her.

Rock actually leaves as Stephanie still won’t shut up, so Rock goes over to……Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock says he would never hit a woman, but Rousey would be happy to. Stephanie says they’re friends but Ronda just stares at her. See, this is Stephanie’s ring so she’s not scared of Ronda. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so make her leave.

Stephanie still won’t shut up so Rock warns her about the look on Rousey’s face. “That look means she’s about to reach down your throat and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH remembers that he’s here and says that’s the last thing Rock is saying about Stephanie.

The fight is on and Rock hammers away before Rousey takes HHH down as well. Stephanie pulls back for the slap but Rousey catches the arm….and lets her go as Stephanie screams in pain. Rock says that’s the Wrestlemania moment of the night. WAY longer than it needed to be and Rousey didn’t get nearly enough heat off Stephanie but she looked at home in the ring.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

No recap but Bray keeps the awesome entrances going with zombie scarecrows that come to life as he passes them. Bray sprained his ankle earlier in the night so he might not be moving like usual. The sun is still partially out so the entrances are nowhere near as ominous as usual. Undertaker has some hair again and looks similar to how he did back in 2002. Bray says all of this is his now and charges into a boot to the face before the bell.

The driving shoulders put Bray down again and Old School connects, only to have Bray nail him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he pulls Bray outside. The apron legdrop has Bray in even more trouble as it’s almost all Undertaker early. Back in and Snake Eyes looks to set up the running boot but Bray takes him down with the running cross body. The running splash in the corner gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Undertaker is dragged over to the corner as Bray goes outside for a big running charge into the steps, possibly sending Undertaker’s head into the post. Back in and Bray goes to pick him up but gets caught in Hell’s Gate. Undertaker can’t quite get it locked in though and some right hands get Bray out. A release Rock Bottom and the backsplash get two and Undertaker is rocked.

Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam and the Tombstone gets two. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail for two. Bray Spiders up but Undertaker sits up and just stares at him, making Bray fall back to the mat in an unintentionally funny moment. The look basically said “Boy, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing?” Bray wins a slugout but takes too long mocking Undertaker, allowing Sister Abigail to be countered into another Tombstone for the pin at 15:06.

Rating: B. That sitout to break the spider walk was great but the match worked really well too. This really makes me think that last year was mostly due to the concussion, as this was much closer to the (still overrated) Punk match two years ago. Bray isn’t going to die because of this, but he needs a major win or a big feud soon. Undertaker winning was pretty much the only option, especially since he can still go this well. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was more than acceptable.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. To keep it short, Brock is a monster that can’t be beaten but Reigns says he can do it. There isn’t much more to it than that.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is defending of course and Reigns doesn’t get the best reaction in the world. Reigns goes right for him but gets driven into the corner and thrown down with a German. The F5 from a bloody Lesnar connects in 31 seconds but he doesn’t cover. Brock throws him down again and Reigns looks stunned. He elbows out of another German and the fans are all over him. Brock no sells some clotheslines and throws Reigns with another German.

Reigns smiles up at him and shoves Brock’s face. Brock: “SUPLEX CITY!” Another comeback is countered with the fifth German of the match but Roman keeps smiling at him. Number six has Reigns in even more trouble and Brock drapes him across the top rope. The fans say this is awesome and Brock drives Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As they come back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the face and fires some kicks to the chest to nothing but boos.

Brock catches a kick though and just BLASTS Reigns with a clothesline to send him back outside. Back in and another suplex sends Reigns flying as Brock seems to like the blood on his face. Now Reigns looks to have some blood in his mouth too. Brock belly to bellies him over the ropes and back inside, followed by the second F5 for two. There go Brock’s gloves and he slaps Reigns in the face a few times. Reigns starts laughing again so Brock throws him down with two more Germans. A third F5 only gets two and Brock is a combination of livid and shocked.

They head outside again and Brock goes hard into the post to really bust him open. He beats the count back in at nine and Reigns is smiling again. Now the Superman Punch connects but he doesn’t go down. A second puts him down in the corner on one knee but the third misses, only to have Reigns counter the German. Reigns headbutts him (hooray for racial stereotypes!) and nails the third Superman Punch followed by the spear but Lesnar stumbles to the corner. A second spear gets two and Reigns is stunned. I totally bought that as the finish.

Brock catches a third spear in the fourth F5 AND HERE COMES ROLLINS! He cashes in right now and I think we have a triple threat! Rollins kicks Reigns to the floor and connects with the Curb Stomp but loads up a second, allowing Lesnar to counter into the F5. Reigns spears Lesnar down but Rollins Curb Stomps Reigns to win the title at 16:43!

Rating: B+. YES! I’ve wanted Rollins to win the title for the better part of a year now and this is the PERFECT way to pay it off. They keep Lesnar looking like a killer, Reigns looks strong and above all else, ROLLINS IS THE WORLD CHAMPION! They were running into a problem with Lesnar as champion: you can only see him squash people for so long before it stops being entertaining. Let him go back to the big featured match and keep him away from the title (or turn him face) and let Rollins be the top star as he should be. I’m thrilled with this and couldn’t be happier. Great choice for an ending to a great show.

Overall Rating: A. We’ll file this under WHERE THE HECK DID THIS COME FROM??? I had a blast with this show and couldn’t be happier if I tried. Above all else, there were no bad matches on the whole card. Not a single one. The worst thing all night was a too long Rock vs. HHH segment to set up a huge match next year and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m still on a high from that ending and might be overrating the show, but this was a great night all around.

I need to give credit to the entrances too. These were on fire all night and the best thing about them was how much more of a spectacle they made the show. Yeah it’s cool to see them walk down a ramp, but having a tank, robots or a Japanese band (what was up with that?) makes it feel like you’re seeing something special.

I can’t believe how much I liked this show after dreading what I felt was coming. The best part about it though is the renewed faith in the company. Yeah, the build sucked, but they NAILED the show (save for one or two questionable booking moves) and the whole thing was just a blast all around. I had a great time with this and didn’t get bored once, save for a lame concert but we’ll ignore that for now. Really good show and a high quality all night, with the worst match being a totally watchable Divas tag. Loved it and I can’t believe how good of a time I had watching, especially the ending.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Stardust, R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett – Bryan pulled down the title

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins – RKO

HHH b. Sting – Sledgehammer to the face

AJ Lee/Paige b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

John Cena b. Rusev – Attitude Adjustment

Undertaker b. Bray Wyatt – Tombstone

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar – Curb Stomp to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this match since I saw it the day after seeing it live in the Superdome last year. This show received rave reviews at the time (including from me) and it’s going to be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Granted, given how this year’s Wrestlemania has been built up, anything is going to seem like a classic. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Under elimination rules and the Usos are defending as part of the TWO HOUR preshow. I remember when these things were thirty minutes but that’s the age we live in I guess. These entrances show you how many different paths people can take. Cesaro is in the same place but with a title, Los Matadores are in the exact same spot, the Usos are in the same match minus the belts, Ryback is rebuilding and Curtis Axel got to confront Hulk Hogan on the go home Raw for Wrestlemania. That last part still makes my head shake.

Axel and Jey get things going with the champ grabbing a headlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as JBL says Colter is the greatest war hero in Louisiana since Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson in 1814. History geeks around the world are shaking their heads (Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was a Civil War general who wasn’t born until 1824. JBL meant President Andrew “Not A Stonewall” Jackson) as Jey and Axel chop it out. The Real Americans bail to the floor to avoid a tag attempt and Axel drops Jey with a dropkick.

Off to Ryback for some hard shots but Diego tags himself in to go after Jey. The Usos make a tag and it’s Jimmy vs. Diego but they stop for an OLE! Fernando tags himself in for a dropkick to go with his cousin’s legsweep for two on Jimmy. Cesaro tags Jimmy for the biggest pop of the night so far (that might change) and hammers away before bringing in Swagger for a running clothesline. A springboard back elbow scores for Fernando and, amazingly enough, no one cares.

Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.

Jimmy comes in and jack Jack’s jaw but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well, only to have Jimmy roll out in a hurry. Axel tags himself in and stomps on the champ before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical. Axel and Ryback take turns on Jimmy in the corner until Ryback slaps on a chinlock. That goes nowhere until Jimmy fights up and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. The running Umaga Attack staggers Axel but Jack breaks up a charge with a belly to belly.

Ryback plants Swagger with a spinebuster but Cesaro breaks up the Shell Shock. The Meat Hook is blocked by Swiss Death and the Neutralizer eliminates Ryback to send the fans into a frenzy. We’re down to the Usos vs. the Real Americans, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting in the first place. The Usos send them to the floor for a big double dive, leaving all four on the outside.

Back in and Cesaro gets two off a backbreaker to Jey but the Swing doesn’t work. Instead it’s off to Jimmy but Swagger comes in off a hot tag, only to have Jey hit a Whisper in the Wind for two. Swagger, with a bloody arm, blocks the running Umaga Attack with the Patriot Lock but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Jimmy get tags but the Americans are whipped into each other, setting up a double superkick to Cesaro, followed by the double Superfly Splash to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This was the perfect way to open a show as the fans are now way into things. It’s a pretty meaningless match, proven if nothing else by how similar this year’s pre-show match will be. At the end of the day, that’s the benefit of a multi-team tag match: let the fans get fired up and have a great time while not wasting anything of note. It’s another reason I’m amazed by how little tag wrestling is used. You can use it for something like this but for some reason it’s almost never done.

Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.

The opening video is set in the streets of New Orleans with a jazz band playing. There’s a great opening line of “A good time occurs when we forget what time it is, and man have we lost track of time.” Wrestlers fill up the streets for something like a Mardi Gras parade with shots of famous Wrestlemania entrances, such as Shawn at XII and Heenan/Andre at III, superimposed over the streets. It’s a REALLY cool video and fits the theme of how big a night this really is.

There’s something so amazing looking about the sea of people in the Superdome to watch the show.

We open big with the special host Hulk Hogan, which is really the only way to open a major anniversary Wrestlemania. First line: “Well let me tell you something brother!” Oh yeah he’s got us in the palm of his hand and he knows it. He was there at Wrestlemania I in Madison Square Garden but now it’s thirty years later at Wrestlemania XXX, right here in the Silverdome. I thought he flubbed that line on purpose and I still think it now. Think about it: how many times has that been referenced since, meaning people keep thinking of Hogan? There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s true but I’m almost certain he did it intentionally.

Hogan talks about how there are Wrestlemania moments and surprises, and you never know when one of those moments is going to happen…….CUE GLASS SHATTER! I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my day and I’ve never freaked out more than hearing that sound. That was the moment when you knew you were in for something very, very special that night.

Austin hits all four corners and you can tell he’s fired up to be here. He says it’s good to be back here at the Silverdome and asks if the fans want to see him open a can on Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame and Austin has seen every thing Hogan has done over the years, from Wrestlemania I (WHAT!) through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). Austin appreciates all of Hogan’s accomplishments in this business and shakes his hand. He talks about how tonight is about the current stars…..and here’s the Rock.

After taking his sweet time getting to the ring, Rock and Austin hug for old times’ sake. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rock says all five of his senses are on fire and FINALLY he has come back……to the SUPERdome! He looks across the ring and sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE and he’s had the privilege of facing both of them at Wrestlemania.

They’ve had a huge impact on his career and on everyone’s in the back as well. Tonight Cena is coming out here to fight for hustle, loyalty and respect, but he doesn’t do that if no one told him to say his prayers and take his vitamins 29 years ago. Tonight someone is fighting against the Authority (pause for a YES chant) but that doesn’t happen unless a bald headed SOB didn’t have the guts to fight against the boss.

Rock wants to know why so many babies are born just nine months after Wrestlemania? They’re Rock Babies! Rock gives us a great rhyme about the history of Wrestlemania with the final line saying that everyone else would have lost to the three of them (look it up because just reading it doesn’t do it justice). Everyone hits their catchphrases, beer is consumed and all three songs are played. JBL: “My life is complete.”

Overall Rating: A+. Well that was…..oh dang we’ve got three and a half hours to go. I had my money’s worth right here already.

We get the AWESOME recap video for HHH vs. Daniel Bryan. If there’s one thing this show got right (and there are about a hundred of them), it’s the big recap videos. This is set to Monster by Imagine Dragons and shows Bryan going from an NXT rookie up to the US Champion and then into the main event.

At Summerslam 2013, Bryan pinned John Cena completely clean but guest referee HHH knocked him out so Orton could cash in Money in the Bank. HHH didn’t want Bryan as the face of WWE because he didn’t fit the mold, but Bryan spent the next several months trying to prove himself and get the title back. Eventually Bryan wanted a match with HHH but couldn’t get the boss to agree. With nothing else left, Bryan took Raw hostage and forced HHH to agree to let them have a match here at Wrestlemania. The winner is put into the World Title match main event.

Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner goes to the main event title match. For some reason, Bryan’s entrance is never actually announced, likely due to not being able to hear the announcer over the INSANE YES chants. Cole says this is a mismatch on paper, even though Bryan is a multiple time World Champion coming in. HHH would be the heavy favorite but it’s not that big. Bryan is coming in with a bad shoulder after HHH attacked it a few weeks back on Raw. Stephanie kisses HHH for an awesome heel moment.

We start with a long staredown as the fans are about 300% behind Bryan. HHH’s offer of a handshake is kicked away and Bryan gets a quick rollup for two. That would be one heck of a way to open the show. The threat of a big kick sends HHH outside but he comes back in to go after the arm. Bryan flips out and hits a dropkick to the ribs before taking him down with a headlock. Stephanie: “COME ON BABY!” They hit the mat for a nice technical sequence until HHH takes him into the corner and wraps the bad arm around the ropes.

Bryan escapes an attempt at sending his arm into the post before hitting a running tornado DDT off the apron to the floor. As HHH gets up, Bryan dives off the top for a big flip dive and Stephanie is losing it. She shouts that Bryan is a B+ at best as HHH crotches him on the top, followed by a running forearm to put Bryan on the floor. It’s time for the announcer’s table but Bryan fights out of the Pedigree attempt, only to have HHH grab the arm and drive it into the table.

Back in again and HHH puts on an armbar as JBL shouts about how brilliant this is. He really needs to figure out proper tone. Bryan is able to low bridge HHH to the floor but a right hand stops the Flying Goat. Something like a belly to back suplex on the apron drops Bryan’s arm on the apron again and he has to beat the count back in. HHH channels his inner Backlund for a crossface chicken wing before putting on a regular Crossface to make Benoit scream even more.

Bryan finally makes the rope and nails a running forearm to knock some of the smile off of Stephanie’s face. The moonsault out of the corner doesn’t work but Bryan uses a standing switch for some rolling Germans for rolling near falls. HHH reverses back into another chicken wing attempt before settling for a tiger suplex. They head up top for a superplex but Bryan reverses into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Bryan starts shaking his head as he gets up for the running dropkicks in the corner, only to have HHH nail a running clothesline to stop the third. Stephanie LOSES IT on the floor in celebration.

The Pedigree is countered into a jackknife for two before the big kick knocks HHH silly. Back to the Crossface but HHH can only grab across Bryan’s forehead. Bryan rolls away but gets caught in the middle of the ring ala the ending of Wrestlemania XX. Another roll lets Bryan counter into the YES Lock but again the grip isn’t perfect. HHH finally makes the ropes and you can see Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief. She’s gone from all confident to having to sweat over this match.

HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.

Bryan sets up the running knee but it’s countered into a spinebuster, followed by the Pedigree for two, sending Stephanie into shock. HHH puts him in the corner for more right hands but is smart enough to break at four. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop for two but HHH doesn’t let go of the grip. Bryan won’t get up so HHH drives knees (yes, knees from HHH) to the side of the head. This time Bryan rolls out and kicks the boss in the head, only to miss a second attempt. HHH tries a belly to back but Bryan flips out and hits the running knee for the huge upset pin, sending him to the main event.

Rating: A. This was a great match with the big key of Bryan winning clean. HHH wrestled a smart match and did everything he should have, including the arm work and hitting the Pedigree but Bryan flat out beat him. This match was a Match of the Year contender all year and it’s easy to see why. Really good stuff here and HHH continues to prove why he’s still worth putting in the ring a few times a year.

Post match Stephanie gets in for a real challenge. She slaps Bryan in the face, allowing Stephanie to get a chair and crush Bryan’s shoulder against the post. Oh man they really did stack the deck against him. Stephanie: “That’s what happens when you play with the Game.” Dang she’s good at being evil.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

There isn’t much to this one. Kane blamed Jerry Lawler for letting Bryan’s fans in for the Occupy Raw incident but Shield wouldn’t attack him. The Outlaws were added because who else was going to be put in the spot? Road Dogg’s speech is cut off by Shield’s intro, complete with half masks which didn’t last long. This was right before Shield turned face, even though they’re insanely popular and have practically been good guys for a few weeks now. One last note before we get to the massacre: if you’ve never heard it, Kane’s pyro is one of the loudest things you’ll ever hear live.

Kane punches Ambrose into the corner to start but the US Champion (remember that?) fights back and nails a clothesline. Off to Reigns to run over Gunn before taking down Dogg and Kane for good measure. Reigns even tells the Outlaws to suck it. The Apron Kick (he hasn’t done that in a while) hits both Outlaws but Kane blocks the Superman Punch. That earns him a springboard knee from Rollins and Dean breaks up the Fameasser.

The Superman Punch (which the camera misses) lays out Gunn and Billy is surrounded. He gets outside with Dogg, only to take a double dive from Ambrose and Rollins. All three villains get speared (the Outlaws get theirs at the same time) and a double Triple Bomb to the Outlaws is enough for the pin. Total and complete dominance here as you can feel the Shield’s mega face push coming imminently.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with toys in the back with EVIL Danny Davis counting the pin. Why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt isn’t clear. Duggan wants another opponent so here’s Ricky Steamboat. They can’t play though because someone has bought the toys. Guess who that would be. On a personal note, other than Davis, I’ve met every person in this segment in the last year. Ron Simmons comes in for the required cameo.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Yoshi Tatsu, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, R-Truth, Fandango, Big E., David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Miz, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry

In a line I can’t take credit for, this should be the Andre Rousimoff Memorial Battle Royal: the ARMBAR. There are thirty one people in this and eight of them are out of the company less than a year later. I’ll give them credit for this: they snuck everyone but Big Show and Sheamus into the ring during the legends’ segment and I didn’t notice a thing.

Kidd goes to the apron to start and flips onto a pile of people. You can’t tell what’s going on to start like in most battle royals. Tatsu is out first and Cody and Kofi get in a kick off as they’re hanging from the ropes. Maddox, GM of Raw at the time, is out next and Khali knocks Brodus out with a chop. A few guys dump Khali a few seconds later and you can actually see the mat now. There goes Ryder at 3MB’s hands and Young gets the same treatment.

Mark Henry actually sells a punch from Slater before knocking out McIntyre and Mahal. Henry makes it a matched 3MB set by throwing Heath out but Big Show gets rid of him a few seconds later. The ring is down to a manageable number now and it’s nowhere near as crowded. Show throws Titus out next but it’s Cobra time. Miz tries to block it but with an assist from Xavier Woods of all people, Miz is knocked to the floor. Del Rio kicks Santino out and Sandow dumps Woods. Racist.

Cody’s Disaster Kick nails Sandow and Goldust low bridges him to the floor. Intercontinental Champion Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out and throws Otunga to the floor for good measure. Fandango and Big E. get in a fight on the apron and Fandango actually kicks him out. Your champion ladies and gentlemen. The fans start Fandangoing but stop as Sheamus hits the thirty forearms to the chest and shoves the dancer out.

Show throws Truth out and we’re down to Big Show, Mysterio, Sin Cara, Del Rio, Kidd, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Ziggler, Kingston and Rhodes. Sin Cara goes out off camera to get us down to ten and Del Rio enziguris Kidd off the top to make it nine. Another enziguri drops Goldust and a shove gets rid of the other Rhodes brother. Del Rio takes a 619 and Cesaro gets the same treatment, only to uppercut Rey to the floor. Ziggler gets an uppercut of his own in the middle of the ring and everyone is down.

It’s Kofi up first and charging at Cesaro, who launches him over the post and down to the floor. You know it’s not that simple though as Kofi’s feet land on the steps and he gets back in for a HUGE top rope cross body. I paused the video to type a bit with Kofi in the air and I couldn’t believe how high he got on that thing. Kofi kicks everyone, including Big Show, down but he gets caught in the Swing that everyone had wanted to see. There’s something hilarious about those braids flying around.

The Swing goes on for a ridiculous thirty seconds but Cesaro walks into a chokeslam. A Brogue Kick drops Big Show and another puts Kingston out. Ziggler DDTs Sheamus but gets superkicked to the floor but Del Rio, drawing some awesome heat. The final four are Del Rio, Big Show, Sheamus and Cesaro. There’s the cross armbreaker to Sheamus, which JBL points out as a waste of time.

Sheamus powers up but both guys fall to the floor to get us down to two. You know who the fans are behind I’m assuming. Cesaro starts firing off uppercuts and clotheslines but dives into a big chop. Show loads him up but Cesaro slips down the back (ala Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) and casually picks him up (not like Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) for a slam to the floor and the win.

Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting and one of the more entertaining battle royals I’ve seen in a long time. Cesaro winning should have meant a big push but it wound up going nowhere due to the incompetence of this company. Good stuff here but they would have been better off with twenty like they’re doing for the second version. That slam was freaking cool too.

Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.

The next awesome recap video shows us Cena vs. Wyatt, which is based around the idea of making Cena destroy his legacy….whatever that means. Wyatt thinks Cena is lying when he talks about hustle, loyalty and respect and seemingly just wants to destroy Cena for fun. He’s a weird guy like that.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt’s song is played live with a bunch of burning barrels, a woman dancing like she’s possessed and what looks like a bunch of junk set up as an altar. This was CHILLING live and an absolutely amazing visual. Bray has Harper and Rowan with him here. This was before Rowan got pushed by having Big Show knock him out 19 times in a row. The fireflies are starting to become a thing at this point but it’s not there yet. Cena doesn’t have any kind of a special entrance, but how could he follow Bray’s anyway? For some reason Roberts doesn’t even announce him until he’s in the ring.

Bray drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot to finish him early but Cena tells him to get up and fight. They finally get going with Cena headlocking him to the mat as JBL has no idea what he just saw. Back up and Bray hammers him into the corner, shouting that Cena doesn’t want to fight him. A headbutt drops Cena as Bray asks if this is the one the people call hero.

Bray sends him across the ring but Cena just explodes with a running clothesline. A fired up Cena takes him into the corner, only to have Wyatt laugh as Cena stomps away. John gets creative (or is it basic?) with a running big boot. The Family stares at Cena and Bray shouts that John is a monster before hitting the release suplex slam (cool move). We hit the sleeper but it’s quickly just a regular chinlock.

Cena fights back and starts his finishing sequence but the Shuffle is blocked by Bray’s spider walk. Cena’s reaction is perfect as he falls down and gets distracted by Rowan, allowing Bray to hit a chokeslam (meant to be a Rock Bottom but it’s the same move for all intents and purposes) for two. It’s time for Bray to conduct the crowd but the delay lets Cena get two off a jumping tornado DDT.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser is caught in the Batista neck breaking powerbomb and control switches again. Another finishing sequence has Bray in trouble but he counters the AA into a gutbuster for two. A DDT onto the apron drops Cena and his face just looks stunned. Back in and Bray’s superplex attempt is countered but Cena, ever the rocket scientist, dives on the Family for no apparent reason. They weren’t doing much and they’ll just be ticked off now, but Cena is Cena and unquestionable right?

The wild eyed Bray sends Cena into the steps and says he’s figured out what to do. Cena kicks the steps out of his hands and picks them up instead, only to throw them down instead of giving in to the demons. Back in and Bray runs him over, says he has the whole world in his hand, but misses the backsplash. AA gets two and why are people always shocked by that? If you don’t see two of those it’s not a major match.

Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can get in a cheap shot to give his boss two. It’s about time they did something in this match. Cena goes out after Harper and spears him through the barricade, which seems to be exactly what Bray wanted. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but the rope is quickly grabbed. Now Sister Abigail connects for two and Bray is……happy? Scared? Shocked? You never really can tell with him.

Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.

Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but what the heck was the point in having Bray lose here? The entire thing was built up as Bray being a monster and he loses the big match? Now of course this didn’t end Bray’s run, but it was questionable then and it doesn’t get any better a year later. Cena really didn’t need the win and the whole legacy thing still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t get how Bray pinning him ended his legacy, so it seemed to be another way of saying “Hey Cena, turn heel already!” It’s not explained why hitting Rowan is different than hitting Bray but this story never made the most sense in the first place.

Hall of Fame video from last night. This package aired about a million times on Sunday and Monday, to the point where I memorized half the lines. Undertaker coming out with the urn during Bearer’s induction was perfect. Mr. T.’s speech on the other hand was so beyond perfect that I don’t have the words to describe it. Seeing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts up there is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and proof that Diamond Dalla Page is a saint.

Here’s the class of 2015 live: Jake Roberts, Mr. T., Paul Bearer, Carlos Colon, Lita (you all still would and you know it), Razor Ramon and the Ultimate Warrior, who gets a full musical entrance. The interesting thing here is that the camera guys ran backwards in case he ran to the ring but instead he just walked out after everyone else had been standing there. Knowing what happened to him less than two days later still makes my head spin. This is one of the better classes ever as it’s hard to argue against any of them going in, which isn’t always the case.

Medics check on Bryan’s arm.

We recap the Streak match. The video about the Streak being the lone constant over the last twenty three years is really odd when you think about it as nothing else has anywhere near that lifespan. Can any man break the streak? Heyman: “Obviously the answer to this question is no. But what about a beast?” That’s pretty much all you need to know. Heyman caps it off with “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer the Streak.”

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker’s theme this year is a coffin with the name of each victim, all of which are lit on fire. The latest victim is covered by smoke as luck would have it. Even Brock looks a bit shaken up by all this, but that might be due to his coffin opening up. Long staredown to start until Undertaker fires off right hands. That earns him a belly to belly overhead suplex and a clothesline to send him outside because Brock is awesome like that.

Undertaker comes back with a Stunner over the top and it’s time for more punching, followed by bending Brock’s arm around the rope. The arm goes into the post as well but Brock punches Old School down. That’s it for Undertaker’s control though as he fights back and takes it to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. It’s been about 90% Undertaker so far. The chokeslam and F5 are both escaped but Brock avoids the running boot in the corner.

It’s time to go after the old man’s leg and the last thing you want to give Brock is a target. Or raw meat. Or a belt that a Samoan wants to take from him because it turns into a stupid looking tug of war. Brock slowly hammers him down and pounds away with right hands and knees in the corner. Now they head outside for another shot to Undertaker’s knee before he’s whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Brock keeps hammering away as the fans are waiting on the big comeback before they hit the main event style.

Now Brock just starts punching him a lot until Undertaker catches him with the running DDT (a popular counter tonight). The running clothesline in the corner (what leg injury?) sets up Snake Eyes and the running boot, followed by a legdrop for two. The chokeslam (Heyman: “HE’S POISED!”) gets two and Undertaker looks deflated. Brock counters the tombstone into the F5 (way bigger reaction than the chokeslam) for two.

Lesnar slows things down and gets pulled into a surprise Hell’s Gate. That’s fine with Brock who lifts him up into a powerbomb to break the hold. Power like that is just scary and Brock is terrifying enough on his own. Undertaker throws it on again but Brock counters it exactly the same way. Why change what works? It’s Brock’s turn for a submission as he puts on the Kimura to make Undertaker scream. We get MMA Taker as he reverses into one of his own but Brock makes it to the ropes.

Brock fires off some shoulders in the corner but Undertaker gets a boot up. We go Old School but Undertaker falls into the F5 for two. Now it’s Brock’s turn to be shocked for a change. Two German suplexes rattle Undertaker again and Heyman shouts that Brock is going to make it 21-1. Brock hammers away in the corner but climbs to the middle rope, setting up something called a Last Ride but more like a weak spinebuster.

Undertaker is just spent at this point so he loads up the tombstone. Brock doesn’t quite get planted though as you can see St. Louis in the gap between his head and the mat, meaning the kickout doesn’t have much of an impact. There’s the sit up and another tombstone, but Brock reverses and muscles Undertaker into the third F5 for the pin to conquer the Streak.

Rating: D+. This is hard to watch for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the Streak ended. I’m not the biggest Undertaker fan, but knowing what was coming actually made this hard to sit through. I mean……the Streak just ended. It’s like telling a kid there’s no Santa Claus: you know it has to happen someday but you don’t want to ever actually do it.

The other reason this was hard to watch is the match pretty much sucked. Undertaker apparently had a concussion early in the match and barely remembers a lot of what happened here. That can cause some severe problems, but I can’t imagine that the match would have been much better had Undertaker been healthy throughout. At the end of the day, the guy is 49 years old and barely wrestles once a year. You can’t expect him to be able to do it every single year.

That brings me to my last point: how can you really expect him to win here? Brock is a monster and wrestles a lot more often than Undertaker, in addition to being thirteen years younger. How can you reasonably believe that Undertaker can win? That’s part of the thing that kills the fans here: the idea of the Undertaker is that one night a year, he’s immortal. This match proved that he was human and that’s a hard thing to admit after all those years of seeing him as a superhero. Lesnar has been a monster since, and this really is the start of something special. Granted no one knew that at the time.

Anyway, Heyman’s reaction is in perfect as even he’s stunned at what he just saw because all his hyperbole is proven correct. They leave as the audience is stunned. Undertaker finally sits up, albeit very slowly, and gets the big hero’s sendoff. He hasn’t been seen since and I’m not sure I want to see him in the ring again at this point. The reaction is even more saddening as the fans are just done at this point. I’ve heard the only thing to compare this to is Koloff beating Sammartino and it’s hard to disagree with that.

On top of that, Undertaker collapsed as soon as he went through the curtain and was sent to the hospital. Vince himself went with him and missed the end of the show. That’s scary stuff but how lucky were they that he didn’t collapse on the stage in front of all the thousands of people?

Wrestlemania XXXI ad.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka

All fourteen are in at once, one fall to a finish and AJ (only one with an entrance as the others came out during the XXXI video) is defending. Vickie gets in an evil laugh before we get going. AJ and her bodyguard Tamina are sent into the middle of the circle and the brawl is on. Something tells me I won’t be able to keep track of all this.

The Bellas “hit” a horrible gutbuster on Layla before Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Alicia, Summer and Rosa at the same time. A quadruple suplex gets a quadruple near fall as Cameron’s top has broken. That earns her an Emma Lock as this is a total mess. We hit the parade of finishers until only the Bellas are left.

Instead of fighting, they hit an admittedly sweet looking double dive to take everyone out. It’s amazing how much easier they are to sit through when they don’t talk. They slug it out inside and the Rack Attack gets two on Brie. Back in for a parade of secondary finishers until Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash by shoving Tamina to the floor. Natalya powerbombs Aksana to send Naomi down in a Tower of Doom, leaving AJ to hook the Black Widow on Naomi to retain.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? There’s almost no way to make a huge mess like this work, especially when so many of the girls have no business inside a wrestling ring. AJ would go on to lose the title the next night to a debuting Paige, which I somehow called about two weeks out. That’s probably a lot better than having her debut here and win as part of this disaster, but it’s rather telling that the same girls are still on top of the division a year later.

Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan (that needed to happen tonight) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper reluctantly tells Hogan he’s doing a good job tonight but Paul says he’s tired of hearing about getting pinned at the first Wrestlemania. The losers want to fight now and here’s Mr. T. for the big staredown. Pat Patterson just happens to be here in a referee shirt but they all agree to bury the hatchet and have the most awkward handshakes in years.

Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.

The Orton backbreaker drops Batista and Bryan gets knocked down to the floor. Batista and Orton head over to the announcers’ tables before Batista whips him into the barricade. Orton backdrops out of a Batista Bomb to send Batista into the steps before going after Bryan again. The champ starts going back and forth to send both challengers into the barricade before taking Batista back inside for two.

The knee drop gets two more as the fans chant for Bryan. That’s exactly what they get as well with a double missile dropkick putting down the shaved headed guys. Daniel kicks away at both of them but Orton grabs in him a high collar suplex for two. Big Dave kicks Orton down and stomps on Bryan in the corner to get the fans booing all over again. That’s fine with Daniel as he hits running dropkicks to both guys in the corner. That woke them up again and so did the top rope hurricanrana for two on Orton.

Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan takes it away and knocks HHH to the floor. Orton comes back in and cleans house, joining forces with Batista to beat Bryan up even more. They take the tape off his shoulder as the Authority is taken out, much to JBL’s chagrin. The announcers’ table is loaded up with Orton setting the steps next to it, drawing a CM Punk chant for the save. Instead they get a Batista Bomb into a jumping neckbreaker (called an RKO). The scary part here is that Orton landed back first on a monitor and took a long time to get up.

Batista is the only man left standing and it’s Lawler with the voice of common sense: “Throw one of them in the ring and cover them!” The old guys still get it. Medics come out to help Bryan as JBL joins Lawler’s school of thinking: “COVER BRYAN ALREADY!” Orton and Batista brawl in a heatless segment as people don’t accept that Bryan is done yet. The Elevated DDT off the apron gets a good gasp from the crowd, but Bryan getting off the stretcher gets a better reaction.

Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.

Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.

Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.

Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Time has brought this show back down to earth a bit but it’s still incredibly fun. This was everything the fans could have wanted from Bryan (though not quite everything from Undertaker vs. Lesnar) and an incredibly emotional show. The wrestling here ranges from very good to mixed but the emotion is off the charts. That’s what matters at the end of the day and it was the perfect story being told. The show holds up almost completely and it’s still great and worth checking out. Bryan may never get back to the top again, but they can never take this night away from him and that’s not the worst prize.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A

Redo: A

Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Original: B

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

Original: D+

Redo: D

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton

Original: A-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A-

The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

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