Rampage – December 1, 2023: A Show Because They Had To

Rampage
Date: December 1, 2023
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Excalibur

We’re back to the normal time slot this week and that probably won’t make much of a difference here. What matters here is having something interesting, as the show has a tendency to be an odd collection of matches rather than anything big. Maybe they can change it here though so let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Matt Menard/Angelo Parker/Dark Order vs. Danhausen/Trent Beretta/Orange Cassidy/Hook

The villains start fast and the brawl heads outside. Back in and Danhausen snaps off a hurricanrana to Uno before all eight get inside for a big brawl. The good guys clear the ring and of course we get the big hug. Back in and Parker sets up Menard’s running knee to Cassidy’s head. Danhausen comes in for a release German suplex to Uno, followed by Hook’s series of suplexes.

Cue Wheeler Yuta to join commentary, with the distraction letting Hook get jumped from behind. We settle down to Reynolds stomping on Hook and getting to pose a bit as we take a break. Back with Trent getting the tag to clean house in a hurry. Cassidy comes back in to kick away, at least until Uno plants him with a piledriver. We get a staredown between Danhausen and Garcia, meaning curse vs. dancing. Danhausen pulls out Jake Hager’s hat though and the distraction lets Hook Redrum Parker. That distraction is enough of a distraction that Danhausen can roll Menard up for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C+. Not much of a match, but the whole point of this was just to have a good time. Danhausen is the definition of goofy fun and we even moved Cassidy vs. Hook forward a little bit more. It’s not a great match or even very good, but they started the show fast and that is nice to see.

Ruby Soho (not looking happy), Saraya and Anna Jay are teaming up tonight, with Saraya praising Anna for being beautiful. For now though, they need to deal with Ruby Soho’s thing about Angelo Parker…who shows up. Saraya breaks up the whole meeting.

Here is Tony Schiavone to introduce two men who were in the main event of the very first wrestling match (yes match rather than show) on TNT. If by that you mean the second of three matches that night then yeah sure. In case that’s not enough, Schiavone says that the very last match on TNT was Sting vs. Ric Flair. Well, if you ignore every AEW match to air on there, sure.

Anyway, here are Sting and Ric Flair for a chat. Sting talks about being in the first and last match on TNT (apparently Sting is rather dense too) before mentioning Lex Luger and Bam Bam Bigelow. Flair talks about being in wrestling since 1972 and there are always some people who will be special in his life: Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat and Sting.

Flair promises to be there with Sting from the beginning until the end and (after a pretty clear camera cut, possibly due to some questionable comments being edited out) says they’ll dance all night and a little longer. This was the latest edition of “Ric Flair and Sting are so awesome that we have no concept of history” theater.

Kris Statlander, Hikaru Shida and Skye Blue are ready to get their momentum back starting tonight. Statlander seems to blame Blue for losing the TBS Title but Blue isn’t having that. Shida tells them to calm down and focus.

Don Callis Family vs. Jah-C/???/???

Jah slugs away at Hobbs to no avail and it’s a triple finisher, with Hobbs hitting the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:00.

Post match, Don Callis praises his team’s dominance and wants the Golden Jets.

Prince Nana wants the Workhorsemen to join the Mogul Embassy for tonight. Brian Cage isn’t sure.

Anna Jay/Ruby Soho/Saraya vs. Skye Blue/Kris Statlander/Hikaru Shida

Statlander and Jay start things off but it’s quickly off to Shida for a running elbow. Blue comes in for a shot of her own but Statlander tags herself in, meaning it’s time to argue. Shida finally tags herself in to beat up Saraya and Soho in back to back shots. We take a break and come back with Statlander planting Saraya. Jay makes a save and gets the tag to choke Statlander. With that broken up, Statlander pulls Jay into the path of Soho’s superkick, allowing Blue to grab Code Blue for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C. It’s another women’s match where so much of the match was stuck in the break that there wasn’t much to be seen otherwise. They’re playing up the issues between Saraya and Soho, along with Statlander and Blue, which should make for something going forward. As usual, Blue gets a win, though she still needs to win a championship at some point for it to really matter.

We look at the Continental Classic matches from Dynamite and preview the matches on Collision.

Brian Cage/Workhorsemen vs. Penta El Zero Miedo/Komander/El Hijo del Vikingo

Komander tries to flip over Cage to start but gets tossed into the corner for his efforts. Commentary ignores this match for the rapid fire preview for Collision and more, because the main event doesn’t matter to AEW either. Vikingo comes in and chops away at Drake, who suplexes Vikingo down to even things up. Everything breaks down and the luchadors clean house, setting up the triple dives.

We take a break and come back with Penta cleaning house, including a double DDT. Komander missile dropkicks Drake, setting up a running corner dropkick. A backstabber into a double stomp into a top rope double stomp gets two on Cage but he’s right back up. Komander is monkey flipped into Drake’s powerbomb as everything breaks down. Vikingo hits a springboard Canadian Destroyer but gets piledriven by Henry. Made In Japan drops Henry, who is right back up to nail Cage by mistake. Cage drops Henry and walks out, leaving Vikingo to hit a 630 for the pin on Henry at 11:12.

Rating: C+. The match had all of the usual insane athleticism and fun stuff, but it’s the same thing that has been a problem for Rampage for most of the last few months: how is this supposed to feel like a main event? This could have been on any given Ring Of Honor in the middle of the show but it’s the featured match here. The time slot doesn’t help things, but man this felt like a nothing way to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to think here, as stuff did happen and some stories were moved forward, but it felt like a beefed up edition of Dark. Who was the biggest star on this show other than Cassidy? Statlander maybe? Saraya? The action was good enough, but it was a bunch of multi-person tags and the latest chance for Flair and Sting to reminisce about one or two matches. The show wasn’t bad, but it’s definitely not worth the time to watch.

Results
Danhausen/Trent Beretta/Orange Cassidy/Hook b. Matt Menard/Angelo Parker/Dark Order – Rollup to Menard
Don Callis Family b. Jah-C/???/??? – World’s Strongest Slam to Jah-C
Skye Blue/Kris Statlander/Hikaru Shida b. Anna Jay/Ruby Soho/Saraya – Code Blue to Soho
El Hijo del Vikingo/Penta El Zero Miedo/Komander b. Brian Cage/Workhorsemen – 630 to Henry

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